Accidents Will Happen (1.1)

The Other Patty (1.2)

Drive Thru (2.1)

Squidward: Ah! Ooh! I'm not faking you know. It really hurt... a lot.

Plankton: Chum Nuggets… Get it before… [his left arm fall apart] …My arm falls off.

The Hot Shot (2.2)

A Friendly Game (3.1)

Sentimental Sponge (3.2)

Squidward's School for Grown-Ups (5.1)

SpongeBob: [showing off a "fancy" outfit that he is wearing] So, umm...what do you guys think? Sweet duds, huh, Patrick?

Patrick: Ha ha, sure are! [Squidward clears his throat] ...for a baby.

Squidward: Well played, Patrick! Well played...

SpongeBob: Beard! I must remove that beard!

Patrick: Hey! Stop that beard!

SpongeBob: Patrick! That's not a beard! It's a sea urchin!

Squidward: That's what I thought you... [gets a tomato tossed right in his face] No, no! I didn't mean it like that! I meant... [gets bombarded with even more fruit]

Oral Report (5.2)

SpongeBob: Patrick, you're kinda derailing the proceedings here. Just focus on me, huh?

Patrick: Alright, alright. [stares at SpongeBob with bloodshot eyes]

SpongeBob: Patrick, nobody throws pillows in class!

Patrick: Says you! SPEECH!

Patrick: Try again.

SpongeBob: [panting] Boating...safety...

(Patrick crashes together a pair of cymbals, causing SpongeBob to lose his balance and fall off the treadmill while still holding the handlebars)

Patrick: Come on, SquarePants. Is this the best you can do?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think this is working.

(The treadmill's motion grinds SpongeBob into a pile of dust on the floor)

Patrick: [shouts] SPEECH!!! [startled, SpongeBob jumps up in his normal form. Patrick continues yelling the same word repeatedly, making SpongeBob even more nervous] SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! [his eyes are now talking] SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEECH!! SPEE--

SpongeBob: Patrick, stop! Somehow, you're help just isn't helping. I am even more nervous about this oral report than I've ever been about anything. [shivers]

Sweet and Sour Squid (6.1)

The Googly Artiste (6.2)

A SquarePants Family Vacation (Episode 7)

Episode 8

Episode 9

Mermaid Man Begins (XI.I)

Mermaid Man: [slaps forehead] The story. Yes. [a new flashback begins, very similar to the first one] I was a young, handsome muscular lad, soaking up the sun's rays on the beach, when suddenly I became drowsy. [Mermaid Man in the flashback falls asleep instantly] A wave came ashore and drew me back into the ocean!

Young Mermaid Man: Help! [coughing]

Mermaid Man: [narrating] Suddenly, I realized I was being sucked under by a violent whirlpool! I was running out of oxygen fast. [sinks to the bottom of the sea and gives up trying the struggle] But before I drowned, I was rescued by mermaids. [carried through the ocean by 2 mermaids] They took me to the ocean floor, where they gave me a magic sea star that allowed me to breathe underwater. [Mermaid Man in the past inhales and exhales deeply, then falls asleep, the present Mermaid Man falls asleep also]

Barnacle Boy: Wake up, you old coot.

Mermaid Man: [wakes up after being nudged by Barnacle Boy] Huh?

Barnacle Boy: Finish the story.

SpongeBob: [excitedly] Yeah, Mermaid Man. What about Barnacle Boy?

Patrick: Yeah, how'd you 2 meet?

Mermaid Man: [slapping his temples] Oh. Sorry, boys. There I was in the ocean, the only human who could breathe underwater. [flashback resumes] Alas, such a life got lonely real fast, I had no other humans to talk to. What was a man to do? Then my question was answered. [the bottom of a boat is seen in the flashback, then the port side of the boat is shown, where a very young Barnacle Boy is scraping barnacles off the wood. The captain of the boat appears]

Captain: Hey, Barnacle Boy. Make sure you scrape the barnacles underneath, too.

Young Barnacle Boy: Aye, aye. [takes a deep breath and lowers himself underwater to get the barnacles under the surface]

Young Mermaid Man: A boy in trouble! I've got to act fast or he'll drown. [he swims to Barnacle Boy] Fear not, young man, I'll take care of this.

Mermaid Man: [narrating once again] I used my new telekinetic powers to draw barnacles into Barnacle Boy's body, where they took the place of his lungs so he could breathe underwater, too. [Young Barnacle Boy inhales] It was at that moment when we decided to team up.

SpongeBob: [the flashback has ended] Ohhh, so that's how you guys got together.

Barnacle Boy: No, no, no. [shaking head and crossing arms] The reason I teamed up with this joker is because... I was stuck breathing underwater for the rest of my life.

Mermaid Man: Oh... yeah. ([to Barnacle Boy] Sorry about that.)

Barnacle Boy: (No hard feelings.) [to SpongeBob and Patrick] Anyway, from that day forward, we became…

Johnny: ...Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, superhero crime fighters!

Young Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: [new flashback begins, an alarm is clanging while people are shouting] A crime in progress! [A bank robber laughs maniacally as he is stealing bags of cash from the First Nautical Bank]

Banker: Stop, thief!

Young Barnacle Boy: See if you think this is funny, evildoer. [He rapidly spits barnacles at the robber, knocking him down] Who's laughing now, thieving scum?

Banker: [shaking Mermaid Man's hand] Thank you, sir and to whom do I owe this debt of gratitude?

Young Mermaid Man: You can thank me, Mermaid Man. [Barnacle Boy's seen shaking in indignity in the background]

Man Ray: [new flashback begins, Man Ray has the upper hand in a duel against Barnacle Boy. He laughs] You're mine!

Young Barnacle Boy: [shoots web a web of cheese-like material that binds and gags Man Ray] How'd you like to taste my tentacle zapper, Man Ray?

Young Mermaid Man: [dialing a pay phone] Hello? [indistinct response] So, what are you wearing? [indistinct response] Oh. In that case, can I get a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese? Thanks. [Barnacle Boy slaps his head in disgust]

[The origin special plays.]

Narrator: The story of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy all started here.

Tim: Come on, Ernie! The movie's about to start... Where's the popcorn?

Ernie: It's in the microwave, Tim.

Narrator: At that very moment in the apartment directly above, a rogue scientist doing tests on radioactive ants knocks over a jar of his infected specimens, one of which, without any hesitation, crawls down one floor and miraculously lands undetected. It viciously bites our soon-to-be superhero. He screams in pain...!

Ernie: Ahh!

Narrator: ...Stumbling backwards!

Tim: What on earth?

Narrator: In a split-second, both men find themselves in a freefall that sends them squarely through the roof of a vats of acid factory, and into a vat of acid that is tipped over by an errant alien spaceship, carrying the 2 blindly on a wave of acid during a solar eclipse on a leap year (February 29), precariously careening onto a bomb-testing site, where a cataclysmic explosion exposes our heroes in waiting to highly toxic radium gases. Then, as fate would have it, magical storm clouds move in, zapping both men with a neon-plaid lightning bolt and raining radioactive ooze, which, through centrifugal and electromagnetic turbulence, causes a powerful earthquake deep in the jungle 2,000 miles away, consequently unearthing a magical crystal with wings that flies to Ernie and Tim's exact location, and powered by super gamma energy currents, pilots them to open skies until, not paying attention, the crystal clips the top of a billboard, flinging the two back to their apartment miraculously unharmed, when...

Ernie: Hey, the popcorn's ready!

Johnny: ...They proceed with movie night, and eat slightly overcooked popcorn.

Tim: Mmmm... I think you overcooked this a little.

Johnny: Suddenly, an amazing reaction to the overcooked popcorn hits them with a jolt of cosmic super energy, metamorphosing Ernie into an incredibly strong, seastar-wearing superhero and Tim into a slightly less strong, but also super sailor-looking guy.

Tim (Barnacle Boy): I have the sudden and incredibly urge to breathe water instead of air.

Ernie (Mermaid Man): As do I.

Narrator: And that is how they became the superheroes we have come to know as... Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy - Defenders of the Deep!

Plankton's Good Eye (11.2)

Plankton: [eye appears] Success! [another eye grows] Uh oh, that ain't good. [even more eyes grow] No, no, no, no no no nо nо nо no! I can see everyth- [an eye grows inside of him and pops out of his mouth]

Barnacle Face (12.1)

Pet Sitter Pat (12.2)

Patrick: [hangs up, puts Gary down, and sits on the couch, then smells Gary, and then puts his face away] Whew! SpongeBob was right. You need a bath! [while walking to the kitchen, Gary smells his pungent pit odor, then Patrick turns the kitchen sink on, and water comes out] Oh! I almost forgot. [picks up the bag of snail food] Snail food!

Gary: [happily] Meow!

Patrick: [puts the snail food in the sink] Gotta get the water to stay in there somehow. [sees Gary trying to eat the snail food] Now, Gary, we don't eat the bath. We get in the bath. [the snail food sinks in the water] Come on, Gary. [Gary growls demonically] Oh, don't be difficult now, Gary. [Gary tries to bite Patrick] Gary! [sees Gary on top of the refrigerator] There you are! [Gary jumps down the refrigerator, and runs out of the kitchen, then Patrick tries to chase him, but keeps slipping on Gary's slime trail until he hits the TV, landing on top of his head, then takes it off, and throws it away as the phone rings] Oh, what now? [answers the phone] SquarePants household.

SpongeBob: Yeah, Patrick, about Gary's bath, make sure the bath water is not too hot, and he doesn't like too many bubbles.

Patrick: Yeah, yeah.

SpongeBob: And remember to dry him off really good.

Patrick: All right.

SpongeBob: And don't forget about the list!

Patrick: [angry] Okay, I get it, SpongeBob! I get it, I get it! [tries to throw the phone out of the window, but it comes back in, and hits Patrick in the head] No! [slides on Gary's slime trail up the stairs and flying straight into the bathtub/shower in SpongeBob's bathroom, then Patrick's head is covering the drain as he tries to get out by pulling the shower sprinkler, which breaks and water comes out, as one of Patrick's eyes is closed from the water] I don't get these new fagled shower heads. [opens the door to call for Gary] [high-pitched] Gary! Time for your- [normal voice] [to himself] Wait a minute, Patrick! You gotta trick the snail! [points to himself using both hands] You gotta be smarterer than him! [walks up to Gary] Hey, buddy! I got something cool to show you. And it's the opposite of a wet watery bath. [puts on a welding mask] Check it out! [uses a flamethrower to burn down SpongeBob's bed]

Gary: [worried] Meow!

Patrick: Doesn't that look fun?

Gary: [still worried] [high-pitched] Meow! [runs out of SpongeBob's bedroom]

Patrick: Well, make up your mind! Is it water or fire? [turns on the fire blaster for a couple seconds, then Gary runs into SpongeBob's kitchen storage and jumps on one of the shelves as Patrick walks in, too, with a hose] Okay, Gary. If you don't come to the bath, then the bath's gonna come to you. [turns on the hose which sprays Gary] That's a good boy! Now, suds up! [close-up of a box of soap flakes that Patrick's holding] [Patrick pours it on the water as the soap flakes and water both aim at Gary, filling up the entire storage]

Gary: [in a bubbly voice] Meow!

Patrick: That wasn't so bad, now was it?

Gary: [a can falls on his belly] Oww!

Patrick: [walks up to Gary] Oh, now we gotta dry you off. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any salt.

House Sittin' for Sandy (13.1)

Smoothe Jazz at Bikini Bottom (13.2)

Bubble Troubles (14.1)

The Way of the Sponge (14.2)

Fuzzy Acorns: Congratulations, Sandy. You've managed to put your opponent to sleep in under 1 minute. [lifts his finger, touches the wood, causing it to collapse, and waking Spongebob up] Too bad your opponent didn't put up a fight. I was prepared to give you the lowest of belts: a clear belt. But now I realized, you're unfit to wear a belt of any kind INCLUDING THE ONE THAT HOLDS UP YOUR PANTS! [snatches off Spongebob's belt, causing his pants to fall off]

Sandy: Don't be disappointed, Spongebob. A belt isn't the most important thing in karate.

Spongebob: [depressed] Easy for you to say, Sandy. Your pants aren't down around your ankles.

Fuzzy Acorns: And I'm revoking your black belt. [snatches Sandy's black belt right off]

Sandy: Hey. You can't do that.

Fuzzy Acorns: Oh yes, I can, for wasting my time, bringing me this SORRY EXCUSE FOR A STUDENT! Stick to something you're good at, son.

Spongebob: Yes, sensei. [walks out of Sandy's house, while also having trouble staying up]

Sandy: That was pretty lowdown, Fuzzy. The way you humiliated my friend.

Fuzzy Acorns: The sponge one will never earn his belt.

Sandy: I know Spongebob will impress you if you give him one more chance.

Fuzzy Acorns: Silence. No more chances. Sensei never gives two chances. If you really want to impress me, show me where I can get a decent meal around here. Lunchtime approaches.

Sandy: That's it! [excited] I'll take him to the Krusty Krab and then, he might just find himself impressed by a certain sandwich maker.

Fuzzy Acorns: Who are you talking to?

The Krabby Patty That Ate Bikini Bottom (15.1)

Bubble Buddy Returns (15.2)

Restraining SpongeBob (16.1)

Fiasco! (16.2)

Are You Happy Now? (17.1)

Planet of the Jellyfish (17.2)

Free Samples (18.1)

Home Sweet Rubble (18.2)

Frank (lifeguard): Hello? Anybody here? Hello?! [turns and face the other customers] Do you guys know how to make a Krabby Patty?

Dave: No, but I do know how to open a cash register!

Karen 2.0 (19.1)

InSPONGEiac (19.2)

Face Freezeǃ (20.1)

Glove World R.I.P. (20.2)

Squiditis (21.1)

SpongeBob: [bursts into Mr. Krabs’ office] MR. KRABS!!!

Mr. Krabs: Neptune's Knee-highs, lad! How many times do I have to remind you to knock?!

SpongeBob: [knocking, emphasizing each syllable] MIS...TER...KRABS.

Demolition Doofus (21.2)

Captain Lutefisk: Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Demolition Derby! Allow me to introduce our contestants! [Camera switches to a giant, muscular purple in a shark-like boat] First off, bane to crossing guards everywhere: The Kruncher! [Crowd cheers for The Kruncher] And from the darkest depths of the brinny blue: Diving Bell Dan! [Diving Bell Dan pounds his chest] And of course, you all know and admire: Blow Torch! [Blow Torch breathes out fire] And the funniest driver of all: The Cackling Cruiser! [The Cackling Crusier laughs] Now with introductions out of the way...[Notices SpongeBob drive up between the Kruncher and Blow Torch]...Oh! I almost forgot! [Laughs] The Squish!

Mrs. Puff: Why... are you still... ALIVE?!?!

SpongeBob: Put it in drive?! Thanks Mrs. Puff, You're the best!

Treats! (22.1)

For Here or to Go (22.2)

Super Evil Aquatic Villain Team Up is Go! (XXIV.I)

Chum Fricassee (24.2)

Plankton: My restaurant! [cries]

Squidward: My fan base! [cries harder before his paternal grandmother appears.]

Squidward's Grandmother: I hope you learned your lesson, genius! [crushes Squidward's foot with her walker for the third time]

The Good Krabby Name (25.1)

Move It or Lose It (25.2)