Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / It's a Wonderful Sponge | Main


SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.

Episode 1

Your Shoe's Untied (1.1)

Patrick: [SpongeBob's feet are stomped into the floor of the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
SpongeBob: Heh, well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.

Squid's Day Off (1.2)

Mr. Krabs: I can think of ten good reasons to never let go of a dime, boy.

Episode 2

Something Smells (2.1)

SpongeBob: I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud, I'm ugly and I'm proud!
Squidward: Is that what he calls it?

Bossy Boots (2.2)

Pearl: SpongeBob, what do you like better? The Kutie Krab...or the Kooky Krab?
Squidward: For what, dare I ask?
Pearl: The new name for our new look. I mean, "The Krusty Krab" has got to go. Who wants to eat at a place they think is crusty? Bleh!
Squidward: Well, sure it's a terrible name, but this is a terrible place. Therefore, the name should be left alone. Right, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: I got it! How about The Khaotic Krab?
Pearl: Hmm... how about The Kissy Krab? [smooches]
SpongeBob: [dressed as a king] The King Krab.
Pearl: [holds up a lollipop] The Kandy Krab!
SpongeBob: [dressed in hip hop clothes] The Kool Krab.
[dressed as a cowboy] Or the Kowboy Krab!
[stretched out] The Kurly Krab!
[dressed as a mad scientist] The Kreepy Krab!
[dressed as a crazy killer jungle man] THE KILLER KRAB!
Pearl: AGH! NO!
SpongeBob: You're right, too scary.
[pause]
SpongeBob and Pearl: The Kuddly Krab! [Both happily hug and laugh]

Episode 3

Big Pink Loser (3.1)

[Patrick showing SpongeBob his award]
SpongeBob: [reading award caption] "For outstanding achievement in achievement" - 'SpongeBob SquarePants'?
Patrick: "SpongeBob SquarePants"? That's a funny way to spell my name.
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, I think the award is for me. You must have got it by mistake.
Patrick: [sadly] But, it's shiny! [starts to cry]
SpongeBob: Yeah, but, you know what else is shiny?
Patrick: Ice cream!
SpongeBob: Exactly!
Patrick: I can find it! Is it in here?
SpongeBob: No, don't! That's my-- [Patrick opens the door and an enormous pile of trophies tumble out] ...award closet.
Patrick: I WANT AN AWARD!

Bubble Buddy (3.2)

Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival style! And if there is anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask!

Episode 4

Dying For Pie (4.1)

Mr. Krabs: So, are you ready?
Squidward: To go home?
Mr. Krabs: No, to exchange gifts for Employee Brotherhood Day!
Squidward: Mr. Krabs, you pay me to stand behind this register, and take orders, and give change. But you could never pay me enough to act brotherly towards that guy! [points to SpongeBob]

Imitation Krabs (4.2)

SpongeBob: I thought you wanted to ask me a question.
Mr. Krabs: [angrily] Yes, why aren't you working harder?!
SpongeBob: [blankly] I don't know, Mr. Krabs. I don't know...

Episode 5

Wormy (5.1)

Squidward: That's it. I'm getting off the loony express.

Patty Hype (5.2)

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, are you angry too?
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: What's the matter?
Patrick: I can't see my forehead!

Episode 6

Grandma's Kisses (6.1)

Grandma: You don't have to be a baby to get all of Grandma's love.
SpongeBob: I don't?
Grandma: Of course not. No matter how big you get, you will always be my little baby boo, and remember, you can kiss your grandma and still be an adult.

Squidville (6.2)

Squidward: SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... [a piece of debris from his house falls on his head] I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest 4-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
[A TV falls on the ground]
Announcer: Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest 3-way–
Squidward: 4-way!
Announcer: 4-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to–
Patrick: [suddenly changes the channel to a static screen] I hate this channel.
Squidward: NO, NO! [changes it back]
Announcer: ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!

Episode 7

Pre-Hibernation Week (7.1)

[Sandy finds SpongeBob's clothes hanging off of a bush]
Sandy: SpongeBob's tie... and all his other little dressins? But... SpongeBob always folds his clothes before running around... IN THE NUDE! Something terrible must have happened to him!

Life of Crime (7.2)

Patrick: I wanna go home.
SpongeBob: We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running... running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
Patrick: Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...? [The fire dissolves] I’m scared, SpongeBob.

Christmas Who? (Episode 8)

Squidward: I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
Patrick: Like a genie.

Episode 9

Survival of the Idiots (9.1)

Spongebob: [as "Dirty Dan"; in a southern voice] Alright Pinhead, your time is up.
Patrick: [as "Pinhead Larry"; with a looney, bucktooth face] Who you callin' Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!
SpongeBob: What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?
Patrick: I'm Dirty... [SpongeBob hits him with a baseball bat made of snow]
SpongeBob: I say I'm Dirty Dan.
Patrick: [rushes to get a spiked-bat made of snow] I say I'm Dirty Dan!
SpongeBob: [hits Patrick] I say I'm Dirty Dan.
Patrick: [hits SpongeBob] I'm Dirty Dan!
SpongeBob: I'm Dirty Dan!
Patrick: I'm Dirty Dan!
[They continue to hit each other while saying "I'm Dirty Dan!"]

Dumped (9.2)

Patrick: Would it be all right if Gary and I did some laundry over here?
SpongeBob: Laundry? But we used to do laundry!
Patrick: And, uh... SpongeBob, could we borrow some soap?
SpongeBob: [on the verge of breaking down] Soap? But we used to use soap! [holds up two different types of soap] Do you want Fresh Scent or Heavy Du-Du-Du...?
Patrick: Here it comes.
SpongeBob: ...Du-Du-- [crying] --Tty-yyy-yyy!?!

Episode 10

No Free Rides (10.1)

SpongeBob: Okay, Mrs. Puff, what's my final score?
Mrs. Puff: 6.
SpongeBob: Whoo! And how many do I need to pass?
Mrs. Puff: 6.
SpongeBob: [bending over and rising up very slowly] Whoo–
Mrs. Puff: Hundred.
SpongeBob: Wha?
Mrs. Puff: 600. You need 600 to pass. You got 6.

I'm Your Biggest Fanatic (10.2)

SpongeBob: But Kevin, I was your biggest fan!
Kevin: So were they. [points down to some fans he has managed to get rid of, trapped at the bottom of the ledge at a campfire]
Fish: Hey, look everyone! Kevin's back! [they cheer]

Episode 11

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III (XI.I)

[Man Ray sits on the floor with a hand over his face, pretending to cry]
Man Ray: Boo-hoo-hoo! Oh, sob...! Oh, cry...! [peeks through his fingers to see if SpongeBob and Patrick are watching] Oh, woe is me! You don't know what it's like, being evil for so long! Oh, how I wish to be good! If only some kind heroes would show me the path to decency!
[SpongeBob and Patrick beam at one another]
SpongeBob: We could teach you how to be good and then we'll let you go!
Man Ray: Oh, that would be fantastic! [to himself] I'll fake my way through this, just like I did in high school.

Squirrel Jokes (11.2)

SpongeBob: Hey, why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb?
Fish: Why?!
SpongeBob: Because, they're so darn stupid!

Episode 12

Pressure (12.1)

Sandy: I'm a squirrel. See? [points to the acorn logo on her suit]
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.

The Smoking Peanut (12.2)

Patrick: If I saw that guy, I'd have a few choice words for him. Like "you" and "are", and... "a jerk"!

Episode 13

Shanghaied (13.1)

Dutchman: I’ve been thinking. [notices SpongeBob and Patrick] Stop bouncing! [they both stop] This whole crew for eternity thing isn’t working out… It’s not really you so much as it is me…
SpongeBob: You’re setting us free?
Dutchman: Well actually, I’m just gonna eat you. See you at dinner! [leaves]

Gary Takes a Bath (13.2)

[SpongeBob, in his attempt to get Gary to bathe, tries hypnotizing him]
SpongeBob: I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages!
[Images of a bathtub, a shower, a bar of soap, and then a picture of a girl with pigtails and crooked teeth appear]
SpongeBob: [walking away] Sorry you had to see that.

Episode 14

Welcome to the Chum Bucket (14.1)

Robot SpongeBob: [turning on] Bee-beep-doodle-le-dee-doo... RESPONSE - WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME LATER?
Plankton: What?! WHAT?!?
Robot SpongeBob: GET WELDED.
Plankton: WAIT, I COMMAND YOU MAKE ME A KRABBY PATTY!!
Robot SpongeBob: [while reading some comics and takes a drink from his soda] I DON'T WANNA.

Frankendoodle (14.2)

[SpongeBob draws a jellyfish in the ground with the giant pencil.]
SpongeBob: It's a jellyfish!
Patrick: Pretty good, SpongeBob, but its lacking basic construction, and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
SpongeBob: Huh! Everybody's a critic. [Patrick notices the jellyfish drawing is coming to life.]
Patrick: SpongeBob! Your drawing's coming to life!
SpongeBob: [oblivious] Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic!
Patrick: [pointing to the jellyfish] No, I mean it's swimming away!
SpongeBob: Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Patrick: Your art can never hang in a museum.

Episode 15

The Secret Box (15.1)

Patrick: You may be an open book, SpongeBob, but I'm a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. [A thought bubble appears, showing a milk carton falling over and spilling]

Band Geeks (15.2)

Squidward: [on phone] Hello, you've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the– [blows clarinet]
Squilliam Fancyson: Sounds as though you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, old chum?
Squidward: [shocked] Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!
Squilliam: I heard you're playing the cash register now.
Squidward: Yeah, well, sometimes. How's the unibrow?
Squilliam: It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big, fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week!
Squidward: The bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu, bu-bu-bu-bu...?
Squilliam: That's right! I'm living your dream, Squidward! The problem is I'm busy next week and can't make, so I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.
Squidward: Oh, I, uh, uh, uh...
Squilliam: I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now!
Squidward: [angry at the comment] HOLD IT! [Squilliam perks up as he was about to hang up] It just so happens that I don't sell fast food! I do have a band, and we're going to play at that Bubble Bowl! How do you like that, FancyBoy?!
Squilliam: Good luck next Tuesday! I hope the audience brings lots of... IBUPROFEN! [hangs up]

Episode 16

Graveyard Shift (16.1)

SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Squidward? Just you and me together for hours and hours and hours, and then the sun will come up, and it'll be tomorrow and we'll still be working! [gasps] It'll be just like a sleepover, only we'll be sweaty and covered with grease! Are you ready to rock, Squidward?!
Squidward: No.
SpongeBob: Good! 'Cause we got customers!
Squidward: Here. [hands a baseball bat to a customer] Please hit me as hard as you can.
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. I'm working in the kitchen… [giggles] At night.
Squidward: [tilts his head sideways to the customer with the bat] Don't hold back.

Krusty Love (16.2)

Mr. Krabs: $49.0... 8? That's a penny short! [cries]
Squidward: [sarcastically] Oh no, not a penny. Help, somebody help us.

Episode 17

Procrastination (17.1)

Mail Fish: Package for Mr. Squarepants.
SpongeBob: Great! Thanks. [trying to strike up a conversation] So, uh, you like delivering mail?
Mail Fish: It puts bread on the table.
SpongeBob: Rye or pumpernickel? [laughs]
Mail Fish: Oh, brother.
SpongeBob: So, do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O. box could in theory break the chain--
Mail Fish: [interrupting] Don't you have a paper to write?

I'm with Stupid (17.2)

Patrick: You know something, SpongeBob? It's all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. [sarcastically] "Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do." [angrily] Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe… [getting increasingly worked up] ...Or FABRICATE!
SpongeBob: [gently] But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate.
[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]
SpongeBob: Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
Patrick: No it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse!
SpongeBob: Darn, I like the funnel.

Episode 18

Sailor Mouth (18.1)

SpongeBob: Wow, 13.
Patrick: That's a lot of *[dolphin noise]* bad words.

Artist Unknown (18.2)

Squidward: Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
SpongeBob: "I have no talent."
Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
SpongeBob: "Mr. Tentacles has all the talent."
Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
SpongeBob: "If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent... will rub his tentacles... on my art." [Pause]
Squidward: [unenthusiastically] Whatever.

Episode 19

Jellyfish Hunter (19.1)

Mr. Krabs: What don't you understand about "More"!? [multiple of SpongeBobs are watching jellyfishes] More! More! More. More. More! More. More! [He grimaces and demands more] More, more, more, more, more! MOOOOORE!!! [Cut to night. A sign reading "Jellyfish Fields: Population 4 is seen. The word "000,000" is crossed out]
SpongeBob: Well, there's no more! Now, that's jellyfishing!

The Fry Cook Games (19.2)

Patrick: D'oh, come on, you're just flipping Patties.
SpongeBob: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds! [Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise] Why don't you go home, Patrick? You can compete in the "Laying Under a Rock All Day" Games!
Patrick: [shocked] Well, at least, I don't polish my fingernails!
SpongeBob: [gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]
Patrick: [mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
SpongeBob: You don't even have fingernails!
Patrick: [shocked] I cannot believe what I am hearing!
SpongeBob: How can you hear it? You don't have ears either!
Patrick: [thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots his holes] Er... Holes, holes!
SpongeBob: Conehead!
Patrick: Yellow!
SpongeBob: Pink!

Episode 20

Squid on Strike (20.1)

Squidward: Nobody cares about the fate of laborers as long as they can get their instant gratification.

Sandy, SpongeBob and the Worm (20.2)

Sandy: Who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? [pulls a live-action boat down underwater by its anchor]
SpongeBob: You are.
Sandy: And who put the, hiyah-hah-huah, "K" in "karate"?!
SpongeBob: [body is shaped like a "U"] You did.
Sandy: And who saves your yellow backside from certain destruction on a regular basis? [SpongeBob's backside reads "Property of Sandy Cheeks"]
SpongeBob: You do.
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