Fear of a Krabby Patty (1.1)

Shell of a Man (1.2)

The Lost Mattress (2.1)

Skill Crane (4.1)

Good Neighbors (4.2)

Selling Out (5.1)

Funny Pants (5.2)

Enemy In-Law (7.1)

Plankton: Excuse me! I can't reach my silverware!

SpongeBob: Terribly sorry, sir. [pulls out a smaller chair and table, places it on the big table, and puts Plankton into it] Will there be anything else?

Plankton: Is my tie on straight?

SpongeBob: You... look FABULOUS!!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture (VII.II)

Narrator: It's Mermaid Man! Savior of the deep! [in comes Barnacle Boy] And his young fit servant, Barnacle Boy.

Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy... unite! [both put rings together, then jump down onto Kelp Thing's car] Kelp Thing, this is a posted, no-parking zone.

Kelp Thing: But I must do what I do. [jumps up in the air until he notices his car is being towed] Huh? [jumps down and then walks away]

Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 a.m. and 12 p.m.!

Patrick Smartpants (8.1)

SpongeBob: Patrick! You're back!

Patrick: Patrick, you're back.

[They hug each other]

SquidBob TentaclePants (8.2)

Sandy: Whoo-wee, there you boys are. Looks like I'm just in time.

SpongeBob/Squidward: Sandy?

Sandy: One blast of this Molecular Separator Ray and you'll be separated for good.

[SpongeBob and Squidward try to tell Sandy not to blast them, but was too late, she blasts the ray at Squidward and SpongeBob and it separates them. Crowd gasps]

Squidward: [SpongeBob gives him back his clarinet] Hmph. [plays clarinet off-key making SpongeBob cheer for him, but the audience hates it as they block their ears, Old Man Jenkins faints off his chair]

Mary: I think I'm going to be sick.

[Squidward blows his clarinet at Billy which blows his skin off and shows his skeleton]

Billy: Ah, I'm out of here!

Squidward: Huh, no wait. Wait! [everyone leaves] Oh, my one moment of fame... gone. [grabs the Molecular Separator Ray] There's got to be some way to reverse this. [pushes the button over and over]

Sandy: No, Squidward! That's a very sensitive device!

SpongeBob: Squidward, I wouldn't...

[The Molecular Separator Ray blasts into the final scene]

Therapist: [talking to Squidward] So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?

Squidward: It all started... when I was born.

[The camera zooms out revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl, joined in Squidward's body as the episode ends]

Krusty Towers (9.1)

[Towards the end of the episode, Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward wind up in the hospital. Mr. Krabs is alarmed to see at how high their medical bill is]

Mr. Krabs: $15,000!?!

Squidward: You're not going to have a heart attack, are you?

Mr. Krabs: Not at these prices! Forget hotels, this hospital wreck's where the money is!

Patrick: This is a hospital?

Mr. Krabs: Pack your bags, boys, you're going to medical school!

Patrick and SpongeBob: Hooray!

Squidward: Oh, boy...

Mrs. Puff, You're Fired (9.2)

SpongeBob: [after he destroys every obstacle in the driving course] So, heh... how'd I do?

Roderick: How'd you do? [lifts up a broken fragment of a civilian obstacle SpongeBob destroyed] Why don't you ask the shattered remains of this "pedestrian" HOW YOU DID?!

Chimps Ahoy (10.1)

Patrick: That's "Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick" to you.

Ghost Host (10.2)

Flying Dutchman: Actually, I have a confession, SpongeBob. My ship's been done for 3 months now. Well, it was nice roomin' with ya. [flies back up to his ship] Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I left you a little something something for all your trouble. Now, it's time for me to ruin more souls. [ships sails off. SpongeBob opens the package. A hand grabs the sponge and eats him and belches SpongeBob laughs]

SpongeBob: Hahaha! Good Ol' Dutchie!

Whale of a Birthday (11.1)

Boys Who Cry: ("It's all about you") It's all about you, girl... on your 16th birthday!
Pay attention to you, girl, everyone has to do just what you say.
You get your very own spotlight tonight, cuz it's all about you!
Yeah, it's all about Pearl! [to Pearl] You're the birthday girl!

All That Glitters (12.1)

[At the hospital, the spatula's hospital bed from the start of the episode, with the pulse meter slowing, then becomes a flat line]

SpongeBob: Spatula?? It can't be true. It's too late! [cries]

Doctor: SpongeBob, I-I hate to tell you this...

SpongeBob: I know. He's moved on to the big kitchen drawer in the sky. Hes gone! [sobs]

Doctor: Actually, it's not that. I didn't get the acting part.

SpongeBob: Oh, I'm so sorry.

[SpongeBob cries some more]

Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary.

[The scene pans over to the Infirmary where Spat is in a wheelchair]

SpongeBob: [gasps] Spatula!

[SpongeBob runs into the infirmary]

SpongeBob: Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better!

[Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: Spatula, what's wrong?

[Spat shakes its head]

SpongeBob: But I didn't mean to betray you. Mr Krabs needed a replacement. Krabby patties don't flip themselves, you know. It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry-y-y-y! Oh, what have I done? What have I done?

[SpongeBob begins crying and rolls. As he is doing this, another SpongeBob comes up into the scene]

SpongeBob #2: [while the real SpongeBob is sobbing on the floor] All that glitters is not gold.

[SpongeBob is still crying, spatula wheels itself away]

SpongeBob: Good-bye, best friend.

[SpongeBob crawls crying all the way to the Krusty Krab kitchen]

SpongeBob: I'll never find another spatula like him, again which means the Krusty Krab is out of business.

[SpongeBob notices a spatula flipping patties by itself]

SpongeBob: Spatula? You're back!

[SpongeBob jumps for spatula in slow motion, The camera cuts to outer space]

SpongeBob: Oh, spatula, now that we're together again, nothing will ever separate us.

[Back at the Krusty Krab]

Squidward: One monster Krabby Patty.

[The same real set of hands put a bunch of meat on the grill as before]

SpongeBob: Okay, buddy, we can do this. Ready? One, two, three. [SpongeBob's arms come off] D'oh!

[SpongeBob laughs at the audience]

Wishing You Well (12.2)

Mr. Krabs: [upon learning about wishing wells] Suckers throw money down a well for fun? That's the greatest scam ever!

New Leaf (13.1)

[Mr Krabs walking into the Chumporium. Plankton is dusting off his knickknacks]

Plankton: Ah. A clean snow globe is a happy snow globe. [laughs]

Mr. Krabs: Plankton! You may have fooled everyone else, you might have even fooled yourself, but you ain't fooling me.

Plankton: Oh, I get it. You caught me red-handed. [laughs then sighs] Those were the days, huh, Eugene?

Mr. Krabs: Grr...

Plankton: But I found there more to life than just trying to steal your formula. And I found it all right here in novelty items.

Mr. Krabs: Bubkes.

Plankton: Ah, Eugene. Stuck in your old ways.

Mr. Krabs: Bubkes! If there's one thing certain in this world, it's that you can't resist me formula. [takes out the formula] You know you want it.

Plankton: Thanks… but no.

Mr. Krabs: A-ha, I knew it. [chuckles] It was all a trick to get me to hand over... Wait, did you say no?

Plankton: Well, if you don't believe me, that's your problem not mine.

Mr. Krabs: Problem?! I don't have a problem! You're the one with the problem! Look at this. It means nothing. It's all a facade, a hoax, a con, a front... [throws a shelf down; Plankton gasps] ...A sham, a snow job... [throwing the snow globes onto the ground and breaking them] ...Bologna with a side of flimflam and an order of Jive! See?! Who's the one with the problem?!

Plankton: Look what you've done. This is my livelihood.

Mr. Krabs: Sure it is. And this isn't the formula that you don't want. Come on, eh? Eh? Oop. Too slow. [chuckles]

Plankton: [very angry, screaming] GEEEEEEET OOUUUUUUUT!!!

Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, I get it. Stick to your guns, and eventually we'll all believe it. Soften us up and when our backs are turned, you'll make your move. [drops the formula] Oops.

Plankton: What's this? [groans] Hey, Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: I knew you'd come back.

Plankton: You forgot something. [throws the formula back at Mr. Krabs] Can't you understand I've wasted so much time chasing after you? And now I have something that's mine. And it makes me happy.

[Plankton walks back into the Chumporium]

Mr. Krabs: I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the invertebrate I used to know? I don't... [cries loudly, he runs across the road and falls down crying some more]

Once Bitten (13.2)

Bummer Vacation (14.1)

Squidtastic Voyage (15.1)

That's No Lady (15.2)

Business fish: Hey! [Patrick looks around confused] Hey, you there!

Patrick: Who, me?

Business fish: Yes, you! GET OUTTA TOOOOWWN! [Patrick, shocked, runs away screaming; the business fish stands confused before another fish comes by] Get outta town... and take a vacation to beautiful Sunny Seashores Resort! Here ya go, sir. [Shows a flier for a vacation]

The Thing (16.1)

SpongeBob: Well, Smelly, here you are. Your new home. Oh, Smelly, this is going to be great. We'll be one big happy family. Let me show you around. Here's your bed, Smelly. [muffled whimpering from Smelly] Here's your food bowl.

Patrick: And some kibble. [pours in some food]

SpongeBob: You can live here forever and ever. [Smelly cries] Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy. Well, Smelly, there's one more family member you haven't met. [retrieves Gary] Smelly meet Gary. [Gary sticks to Smelly] Aww, look at that Smelly, Gary likes you. [Gary screeches like a cat and attacks Smelly] Gary, no! [gets Gary off of Smelly] Gary. [Gary hisses]

Patrick: I don't think Gary likes Smelly.

SpongeBob: Yeah, Gary's never attacked anyone like that except Squidward. I guess Smelly can't live here.

Patrick: Ah! He can come home with me.

SpongeBob: That's a great idea, Patrick. You always wanted a pet. [Smelly tries to escape through the door but keeps falling down] Isn't that cute? Look how excited he is to get to your house. [opens door] Bye, Smelly, have fun at Patrick's. [Smelly tries to get into Squidward's house]

Patrick: No, no, Smelly. Squidward doesn't like pets.

Hocus Pocus (16.2)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob, whatcha doing?

SpongeBob: I have turned poor Squidward into a frozen dessert!

Patrick: That's awful, how tragic, poor Squidward.

SpongeBob: This is all my fault!

Patrick: Did you say frozen dessert? [takes the white ice cream cone out of the freezer]

SpongeBob: Yeah, I turned him into a tasty soft-serve with a waffle cone. [cries]

Patrick: Oh, soft serve. [licks ice cream cone]

SpongeBob: Patrick, stop eating Squidward!

Driven to Tears (17.1)

Announcer: Congratulations. You are the one millionth person to pass the test.

Patrick: Does this mean I win a free keychain?

Rule of Dumb (17.2)

[Cut to Krusty Krab where SpongeBob enters with medieval clothes on]

SpongeBob: Good townspeople, let us rejoice in welcoming our new king.

[Patrick enters, wearing his crown and a royal cloak]

Patrick: King needs food badly.

Mr. Krabs: What's this all ab... [gasps. Sees Patrick's crown and dollar signs appear in his eyes] Well, well, well. What can I do for you, Patrick?

SpongeBob: The king would like...

Mr. Krabs: Zip it, SquarePants... I'm talking to the rich guy.

Patrick: I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake, large fries...

Mr. Krabs: I've got a better idea.

Born to be Wild (18.1)

Mr. Krabs: Wait! Don't you wanna spend your money?

Old man: Don't you wanna kiss the seat of my pants?

Best Frenemies (18.2)

Squid Wood (19.1)

SpongeBob: How about Duck, Duck, Hermit Krab? Hopscotch? Squidward Says? Steal The Bacon? Sleeping Sea Lions? Sharks and Minnows? Sink the Submarine? Kings and Queens? Mahjong? [Squidward is beginning to fume so he picks up SpongeBob and shakes him] Whoa, I've never played this game before. What's it called?

Squidward: It's called, "I will never play with you... EVER!!" [throws SpongeBob in a hole and moves the refrigerator over it]

Best Day Ever (20.1)

Squidward: How long do we have to keep this up?

Mr. Krabs: Just till his little heart gives out, Squidward. Just till his little heart gives out.

The Gift of Gum (20.2)

Robo 2.1: Greetings. I am Robo 2.1, your personal robot servant. I am proficient in providing over 250,000 creature comforts. Would you care for a pastry?

[shoots a pastry into Patrick's mouth]

Patrick: Yum. Sweet, hot, and juicy. SpongeBob, this is a great gift.