FarmerBob (1.1)

• Aliens: Thank you kindly for inviting us, old timer. Well, we're off to destroy the universe. Yee-haw!
• Old Man Jenkins: Y'all come back and invade any time.
• SpongeBob: Annihilate safely.

Gary & Spot (1.2)

• [Gary eats trash out of a garbage can]
• Sandy: It may not look like much to you and me, but this here is four-star dining to a snail!

The Nitwitting (2.1)

Patrick: Okay, thanks, buddy. I'm going to my club meeting now.

SpongeBob: What's your club, hmm?

Patrick: Uh, it's the Empty Head Society. It's a place where guys like me can give their... [reading off a card] ..."Powerful intellects" a much-needed rest.

The Ballad of Filthy Muck (2.2)

• Old Man Jenkins: Boo! I can't smell, but you two stink!

The Krusty Slammer (3.1)

• [Plankton has finished painting an insulting message on the Krusty Krab]
• Police officer: Hey, you! You're under arrest.
• Plankton: Arrest? For what? I didn't even steal anything this time.
• Mr. Krabs: Vandalism's a crime, too! You've been caught red-handed, Plankton.

Pineapple RV (3.2)

Gary's Got Legs (4.1)

• Mr. Krabs: Where the halibut is SpongeBob?
• Squidward: Maybe he quit? Or got hit by a bus? [excited] Or caught a terminal disease!

King Plankton (4.2)

• [The Chum Bucket's hand picks the bucket up and throws it away]
• SpongeBob: Bye, sea chimps! Have a good flight! It was so nice of you to help relocate the sea chimps, Plankton. You rule!
• Plankton: Not today, SpongeBob. Not today. [puts on crown] But... someday! [laughs; Patrick eats him and burps out the crown]

Plankton's Old Chum (5.1)

• SpongeBob: Lights, please. [a spotlight shines on SpongeBob] And lo, there was chum. A food that turned from revolting to festive by magical thinking. And the goodwill of chum clogged the hearts of fish kind and ushered in a new—[chum is thrown at him]

Stormy Weather (5.2)

• Gale Doppler: You know, everybody complains about the weather, but my next guests actually do something about it. Did you two always want to be storm clouds? [the storm clouds blow Gale away]

Swamp Mates (6.1)

One Trick Sponge (6.2)

The Krusty Bucket (7.1)

• [PlanKrab leaves the Krusty Krab]
• Plankton: All right, Two-Face, what's the big idea? What have you been doing all this time?!
• PlanKrab: Oh, nothing much-erer. Just stealin' the formuler-erer... [shows Plankton the formula]
• Plankton: Uh-whaaaa?
• PlanKrab: Taking over this restaurant-erer...
• SpongeBob and Squidward: Hooray for PlanKrab! He's the best boss ever!
• PlanKrab: And kicking Krabs out on his booty-erererer! [points to Mr. Krabs looking through the window and crying]

Squid's on a Bus (7.2)

• [SpongeBob enters the bus that Squidward is driving]
• SpongeBob: It's you! I've always dreamed one day I'd board a bus and see you driving it.
• Squidward: Why am I in that dream?
• SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, you're in all my dreams.

Sandy's Nutty Nieces (8.1)

Sandy: I tried to tell ya the first rule of babysitting my nieces.

SpongeBob: What's that?

Sandy: Don't babysit my nieces!

Insecurity Guards (8.2)

• [Squidward shows his painting to an art critic]
• Squidward: Well, what do you think? Do you love it?
• Art critic: Mr. Tentacles, I simply cannot express my true feelings about your work.
• Squidward: Yes, I realize my artistic brilliance can be overwhelming.
• Art critic: Quite frankly... It stinks!

Broken Alarm (9.1)

Karen's Baby (9.2)

Shell Games (10.1)

[The turtle girls are looking on with excitement where Tony is beating up Patrick]

Girl Turtle 1: This is exciting!

Girl Turtle 2: I've got a favor on the Parasite.

Senior Discount (10.2)

Mr. Krabs: And he don't buy nothin' else neither. He just makes that disgustin' condiment soup and listens to his radio, all for free. [Old Man Jenkins bangs on the radio to turn it on and sips on his "condiment soup"] And anytime someone says somethin' to him, it's always the same response...

Frankie Billy: Excuse me, could you turn the volume down on your soup?

Old Man Jenkins: Respect your elders! [hits Frankie Billy on the head]

Frankie Billy: Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! [runs off crying]

Mind the Gap (11.1)

Dirty Bubble Returns (11.2)

Jolly Lodgers (12.1)

Biddy Sitting (12.2)

SpongeBob in RandomLand (15.1)

SpongeBob's Bad Habit (15.2)

• [customers in the Krusty Krab are eating slowly, and making noises while doing so, which gets Squidward more and more angry with each noise. A customer burps which pushes Squidward to his breaking point]
• Squidward: AAAH! ANOTHER ROTTEN DAY AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!

Handemonium (16.1)

Breakin' (16.2)

Boss for a Day (17.1)

The Goofy Newbie (17.2)

The Ghost of Plankton (18.1)

My Two Krabses (18.2)

Knock Knock, Who's There? (19.1)

Pat Hearts Squid (19.2)

Lighthouse Louie (20.1)

Hiccup Plague (20.2)

A Cabin in the Kelp (21.1)

The Hankering (21.2)

Who R Zoo? (22.1)

The Kwarantined Krab (22.2)

Plankton's Intern (23.1)

Patrick's Tantrum (23.2)

Bubble Bass's Tab (24.1)

Kooky Cooks (24.2)

Krusty Koncessionaires (26.1)

Dream Hoppers (26.2)