Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er! [4.01]

Chris: [opening narration, as an astronaut works on a satellite] We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. [scene changes from outer space to Camp Wawanakwa] And this season, we're going right back to where it all began...at Camp Wawanakwa! I'm Chris McLean and as you can see, things have changed since we've been away. And by change, I mean, gotten really really dangerous. [a tentacle takes an intern as Chris giggles] Good stuff! But the rules of the game remain the same. A handful of unsuspecting teams will bunk with complete strangers. Air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional and compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island and risk being voted off. Last one standing wins $1,000,000! Speaking of our cast, here they come now!

[a yacht with the original cast on-board appears all of the contestants and are seen partying on a yacht floating past the island. Duncan and Gwen make out, DJ, Harold, and Leshawna dance, Eva crosses her arms. Owen dances, Sierra who has regained a bit of her hair hugs Cody, Noah watches Izzy upside down holding two floating rings. Lindsay and Tyler make out, Beth admires a shirtless Justin as he poses and flexes his muscles until a bird then defecates on Justin. Katie and Sadie hug Trent, Courtney glares at Alejandro the Drama Machine while he's holding Heather on his robotic arms, Bridgette and Geoff are dancing, a feral Ezekiel sitting like a dog with his tounge out]

Owen: [as their yacht goes past through.] Nooooo!!

Chris: [laughs] No, not them! This season, we've got all new players, fighting for the million! And here they come now; for real! [another yacht appears, carrying the new 13 contestants] Meet Jo.

Jo: [to Scott] Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis!

Chris: Scott!

Scott: [to Jo] Right back at ya. [sniffs his armpit]

Chris: Zoey and Mike!

Zoey: [to Mike] Can you believe we're here?

Mike: Yeah, it's... [looking at Zoey] beautiful.

Chris: Lightning!

Lightning: [knocks Mike and Zoey out of the way] Hello, Gorgeous! [kisses his bicep]

Chris: Brick.

Brick: [saluting, accidentally dropping Zoey in the process] Brick MacArthur, reporting for duty!

Chris: B and Dawn.

Dawn: [to B] Your aura is an exceptionally purplish-green. Oh, it suits you, though.

Chris: Dakota!

Dakota: Hey there. [giggles] Dakota here! And I'm here to win this! [is cut off by Chris mid-sentence]

Chris: Anne Maria!

Anne Maria: [applying spray tan] Ah yeah, three more coats ought a do it.

Dakota: [pushes Anne Maria out of the camera] Whoa, who said you could pan away?

Anne Maria: [Dakota screams when Anne Maria attacks her with spray tan] Don't push me, Blondie!

Chris: [as Staci walks up behind Anne Maria] Staci!

Staci: My Great Aunt Milly invented suntan. Yeah, before her, people used to smear themselves in clay. [Anne Maria sprays Staci with spray tan as well]

Chris: Cameron!

Cameron: Fresh air, a real lake, birds! [pigeons knock him off a railing]

Chris: And Sam.

Sam: [playing video games] Oh yeah! Grenade launcher upgrade! Heh heh, now we're cooking!

Chris: Yup, it's our most roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever! [detonates a bomb on the yacht]

Zoey: [Confessional] Wow, I can't believe I'm in the Total Drama confessional, it's so exciting. Everyone seems so nice. I hope they all like me, I could use a few more friends, or friends period. Oh, what if they hate me? Maybe this flower is too big. Am I trying to hard? You like me, right?

Owen: [rejoins Chris awaiting at the cabins] Hey Chris, get this, the boat wouldn't stop.

Chris: Oh look, it's former player Owen, who's not competing this year!

Owen: Yeah, so I swam back to tell, what? Not competing?

Chris: I'm afraid you and the other "classic" campers have outlived your usefulness, Chef.

[Chef puts bomb on Owen's face causing Owen to scream and run away as Chris and Chef laugh after he blast off the island from the explosion]

[after the Toxic Rats got their cabin destroyed from the Mutant Maggots' totem pole]

Chris: Too bad, it had an 8-person hot tub and air conditioning.

Lightning: So where am I going to sleep?

Chris: No worries. We've got a backup cabin for you every bit as nice as the one you lost.

[A new cabin which is just a plain old cabin replaces the new one immediately via helicopter.]

[Staci got eliminated because her constant comments about her relatives irritated her teammates]

Chris: Say hello to the Hurl of Shame. Patent pending!

Staci: Yeah! Catapults were invented by my great, great, great, great, great, great... [gets hurled away mid-sentence].

Truth or Laser Shark [4.02]

Jo: Just did my morning 5K run. You?

Brick: 8K.

Jo: I mean, I did an 8K warm-up, then 5K at a full sprint.

Brick: My entire run was uphill.

Jo: Yeah, uphill with my eyes shut!

Brick: I ran backwards with earplugs!

Jo: Why earplugs?

Brick: [foolishly] I don't know!

Dawn: Anyone wanna swap? [rat is squeaking to her] What's that? Duck now? Ok. [she ducks as the cannonball avoids her and hits Brick in the face]

Brick: [after the cannonball falls off his face] DUH-AYEE! [faints]

Chris: [Laughs]

Scott: [strocking rat] That's a nice rat, that's a good rat [B points to his hand] Oh you want this rat? Then why didn't you say so Beverly!

[Dakota got eliminated because she cost her team the win by being too distracted by the paparazzi]

Dakota: [after she is eliminated] No! This has to be a mistake! I didn't get my spin-off series yet! [running away, screaming] NOOOOO!!!

Chris: [As Dakota was in the Hurl of Shame] Any final words, Dakota?

Dakota: Umm. Yeah! First of all... [Gets hurled away] Waaaaaahhhh!!

Chris: It was a rhetorical question.

Ice Ice Baby [4.03]

Chris: And will the lady be participating?

Anne Maria: Have you seen my nails? These are why I drive with my feet!

Jo: Get ready to lose to a girl again!

Lightning: What girl? Who's he talking about?

Dawn: [to Scott] You weren't held enough as a child.

Scott: [Confessional, hugging his knees as he looks utterly terrified] Okay, she's gotta go too.

[Dakota comes back as an intern after her first elimination]

Chris: Oh! Dakota, you're no longer competing. Remember?

Dakota: I don't care about the money. Like I need it. [removes her harness] I just want, um, close up, please. [the cameraman obliges] Thank you. I just want camera time. People need to see more of my sparkly adorableness if I'm going to get my spin-off reality series. [gets clamped by Chef Hatchet and gets carried to Chris]

Chris: You know how you flew off into the sky last episode? That means you're done! Forever!!

Dakota: No, please! I'll do anything!

Chris: Listen Princess, this is my show! [Chris' cell phone rings] Huh? [to Dakota] It's your daddy! [on the phone] Hello, Mr. Milton. [excited] How much money?! [hangs up] You're back!

Dakota: Yes!! Thanks, Daddy!

Chris: As an intern!

Dakota: An intern?! [as she's being carried away by Chef Hatchet] NOOOOOO!!!

Finders Creepers [4.04]

Zoey: [in confessional] Mike is so sweet. The way he's always encouraging Cameron is totally cool! The way he's always going into character is totally weird. But, hey, nobody's perfect, right?

Mike: [in confessional] Zoey. [gushes] She is all I think about! At least when I'm the one in control. [nervous chuckling]

Cameron: [confessional] Turns out it was just one of the old cast members in a spider costume. Thankfully it cured me of my arachnophobia... although now I'm completely terrified of Izzy.

Anne Maria: [noticing Brick's disappearance] Where did he go?

Jo: Ah, well. Two words; deadweight.

Anne Maria: Hey! Brick may not be attractive in any way, but he is still a person.

Mike: Yeah! Your cutthroat attitude stinks.

Jo: [smugly] It's called a winning attitude. Get used to it. Or get out of the way.

[Chef didn’t show up with the Marshmallow of Loserdom because Izzy was shooting him with toilet plungers, Brick volunteered to be eliminated, but Chris put him on the opposite team instead. Because of this, Chris was bummed that no one was going for as he put it, “a catapult ride.” Then Dakota came along telling Chris she was finished filling his toilets with spring water. Then Chris had an idea, he eliminated Dakota for the second time and welcomed her to swim back.]

Chris: Tonight's eliminated Maggot is tomorrow's new Rat!

Brick: I'm not taking the Hurl of Shame?

Chris: Nope! From here on in, Brick and Jo will be fighting it out on opposing teams! Kinda disappointing no one's going for a catapult ride, though.

Dakota: [walks over to Chris] I finished filling your toilets with spring water. [Chris looks at Dakota and grins] What? [in the Hurl of Shame] This is so unfair! Why am I being eliminated twice?

Chris: Relax. You're not being eliminated. You're welcome to swim back here, I gave you a flotation device, after all.

Dakota: [Dakota's floaty duck pops] Wait! I need a new- [Chris pulls the lever; Dakota is hurled off the island] Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Backstabbers Ahoy! [4.05]

Chris: Hey! It's my show! I can do what I want. Watch this! [snaps his fingers and Chef throws a sleeping Dakota in the water]

Dakota: Where am I? [notices mutated fish, which starts attacking her]

Scott: [dreaming] Land shark, get away... [Brick's alarm clock goes off and Scott falls from his bed]

Sam: My ears!!!

Lightning: [wakes up] I'm up coach! Lightning is up!

Scott: What's happening?!

Lightning: Outta my way!!! [Lightning crashes into Scott and Sam]

Brick: [wakes up, undisturbed by the alarm and dressed up] Rise and shine, soldiers.

Sam: Dude, sounds like a shaman warlock cast a screaming spell on you.

Lightning: Lightning was robbed!

Sam: What'd they take, your weapons or your armor?

Lightning: My protein powder!

Sam: Oh. Yeah, that is... totally worth freaking out over, probably.

Chris: Alright! Here to help us get today's competition underway, say hello to one of our classic competitors...Bridgette!

Bridgette: Let's get this over with. Remember, my contract said demonstration only.

Chris: Relax! No demo needed! Just chum the water with our intern, Dakota! And try not to get eaten!

[Dawn got voted off because she accused of being a thief after Scott framed her for stealing from the other contestants]

Dawn: I knew the universe wouldn't want me to win such a perverse game. But what the universe does want me to do is to is sell these discarded TDR piece stakes on Crug's List so I can start a sanctuary for these poor mutated creatures on this island. And to my fellow victims of reality television, I urge you to rise up against the soulless, sociopathic scoundrel hiding among you! The traitor in your midst is... [is shoved into a bag by Chef and put in the Hurl of Shame] Wait! I have to warn my teammates!

Runaway Model [4.06]

Lindsay: Yay! Don't you just love my new special fashion judgey shoes?

Jo: [After Chris says that they need a strongest member from their team] Right here!

Scott: Ditto!

Chris: Pack your bags!

Zoey: You're hurling them too?

Chris: Nah. These two are switching teams.

[After Sam failed to win the challenge for his team, seeing the challenge as a video game.]

Dakota: [As Sam was in the Hurl of Shame] Sam, wait!

Sam: Hey. You're here to see me off.

Dakota: Aww. I'm gonna miss you! Here. [Gave Sam a slip of paper] Call me, okay?

Sam: I may have lost the game, but, I win the girl of my dreams... [Gets hurled away and drops the slip of paper].

A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste [4.07]

Jo: [confessional] Hey! Chris McLame! Listen! You can make me switch, but you can't break me. Now I get the girls cabin to myself, and I can finally work out like the ancient Olympians... Naked!

Manitoba: G'day Sheila! Names Manitoba Smith! Here leave the torches to the menfolk beauty.

Zoey: They talk like that in Manitoba?

Anne Maria: Do I look like a lifeboat?!! [throws Scott off of her head]

Zoey: [holding back Anne Maria] I'm sure that it's an accident that Scott landed on you!

Scott: Yeah! An accident! I hope you both realize whose fault this is! The minecarts were Mike's idea!

Anne Maria: But he just didn't try to drown me!

[Jo and Lightning formed an alliance and both voted Brick off for helping the other team win the challenge]

Chris: Brick, it looks like your tour of duty has come to an end. DISMISSED! [throws a toxic marshmallow of losedom to Brick]

Brick: Wah! But I was large and in charge!

Lightning: Yeah. Saving the enemy, ShaTraitor.

Jo: So long soggy McGee.

[Anne Maria quit when she thought she had received a giant diamond from a feral Ezekiel. However, Chris revealed the diamond was a fake, and eliminated her with Brick and brings Dakota back to the game]

Anne Maria: [jumps on the catapult with Brick] One side. I've got a Jeweler to see and a bank account to open!

Chris: Uh, the catapult is for exits only.

Anne Maria: Good. I quit. I don't need this stupid show anymore. Look at this thing, I'm rich!

Chris: Not unless cubic zirconia has suddenly become priceless.

Anne Maria: What? It's not a real diamond?

Chris: Nope, practically worthless. Lamest mine ever. Why do you think I dumped all that waste in here?

Anne Maria: Wait, I changed my mi- [she and Brick scream as Chris catapults them off]

The Treasure Island of Dr. McLean [4.08]

Mike: What? Where are we?

Zoey: No! Chris must've set us adrift when we went to sleep!

Scott: Yeah...wait, I don't remember anything after dinner.

Cameron: Dinner. That's it!

Chris: [as he and Chef Hatchet pull up to the campers on personal watercraft] Morning, suckers! How did you enjoy your turkey butterlini?

Dakota: Hey, Chris. How many times did you call your mommy today? [Chris and Chef both start noticing to see that she is starting to grow taller] I had no idea that Tabasco was used as a thumb-sucking deterrent until I started interning for "Sippy-cup" McLean!

Chris: Uhh... [the other campers start to notice Dakota's "growth spurt"]

Dakota: What? What are you all staring at?

Mike: Uh, your hair is already growing back. [Dakota now has short, spiky, bright green hair]

Dakota: [gasps] Really? [touching the top of her head] Yay! [notices that she is towering over her teammates] Um, when did you all get shorter?

Chris: [after explaining the episode's challenge] Hey, Dakota! Catch! [throws her a compact]

Dakota: [opens the compact] What's this? Oooh, a picture of a scary monster? Big deal!

Scott: Dude, that's a mirror.

Dakota: [looking into the compact] Ahhhh!! I'm a monster!! [growling while breaking the compact; angrily, to Chris] When I get my hands on you, I'LL TEAR YOU APART!!

Chris: [panicked] Ahh!! Game on!! [backing up his watercraft away from Dakota]

Chris: Now, the second part of today's challenge started off as a practical joke involving classic Total Drama competitor, Gwen. But, it's turned into more of a rescue mission.

Gwen: [hits her head against the treasure chest] Uh! What the?! [realizing she is buried alive] Oh no! I'm buried alive?! AGAIN?!! CHRIS-SSSSS!!! [bangs her fist against the treasure chest]

Mike: [to Chris] Burying someone alive is seriously dangerous. Even by your standards!

Chris: That's why we're using the buddy system and instead of letting last year's losers have all the fun. We bought in one of this year's duds.

Gwen: Where's my? [pulls out her cell phone and calls Chris] Ugh! Lousy Chris with his stupid game on his crummy show! [Chris' cell phone rings]

Chris: [answering the phone] Hello-oooh?

Gwen: You've gone too far this time, McLean! You can't... [Sam passes gas]

Chris: Ewww-ugh!

Gwen: That wasn't me! This guy won't stop farting...ugh! I can't breathe... [passes out due to Sam's flatulence]

Chris: Eh, I'm sure she's fine.

Sam: [confessional; after seeing Dakota's mutated form] Whoa. The girl of my dreams just got a thousand times more awesome!

[Scott was voted off, but he used the immunity idol to save himself; therefore, Dakota was eliminated instead. Zoey voted Dakota because their friendship was hazardous to her health.]

Chris: Okay players. The votes are tallied and by a narrow margin tonight's loser is none other than-

Cameron: Wait! What about the marshmallows for the people that are staying?

Chris: No can do. Someone ate all of them when she was in the infirmary.

Dakota: [laughs] Me got munchies.

Chris: As I was saying the person going home tonight is... Scott.

[Zoey gasps]

Scott: Sorry, but I ain't going nowhere. [holds up the immunity idol]

Mike: What?!

Chris: The invincibility statue! Nice! That means Scott is safe. Whoever has the next most votes is taking a ride on the Hurl of Shame and tonight. Thanks to Zoey, Dakotazoid is going home for good this time.

Zoey: [after Dakota's elimination] Her friendship was hazardous to my health. I had to vote her off.

[cut to the Dakota and Sam in the Hurl of Shame]

Chris: Ready to fly Dakota? Hello?

[Chef catapults Dakota and Sam off]

Grand Chef Auto [4.09]

Chris: [on roof, waking the campers up with an alarm] Good morning, campers! Today we have a very special treat

Lightning: [gasp] Fantasy football?

Zoey: [gasp] Expressoes?

Scott: Helicopter bear hunt?

Chris: Nope, it's merge day. No more Team Rat and no more Team Maggot. [jumps off roof and walks to Jo and Lightning] For now on, it's every man, woman, and Cameron for himself.

Chris: I give you Total Drama's Favourite Juvenile Delinquient, Duncan! [Chef brought Duncan, tied to a dolly] Duncan owes me some camera time for skipping out on Total Drama World Tour. So, I save an extra painful challenge demo, just for him.

Duncan: Eat dirt, McLean!

Chris: No, that's your job.

Chris: And the winner of Grand Chef Auto is...Where's everyone?

Lightning: Gone for that last landmark, the extra one that you added.

Chris: What last landmark? Ah.. [checks GPS] Mount Chrismore!!! DUNCAN!!!

Chef: That Duncan is one baaaaaaad dude.

Mike: Zoey, listen. My characters... there not just for show. I... I have multiple personalities.

Zoey: Yeah, I know, Cameron just told me.

Cameron: [off-screen] Sorry!

Mike: I should've told you first. I just didn't want you to think I was a total freak, Because, the real me... really likes you. A lot.

Zoey: [giggles] Are you kidding? I love oddballs! And you're officially the coolest one ever! Multiples just means there's more Mike to love.

Chris: [to Lightning who thinks he has won] No. No vote for you!

Lightning: What?

Chris: You fell for an obvious prank by Duncan.

Duncan: [show up behind a rock] Sorry, bro. That wasn't me. [detonate Mt. Chrismore] Now that, that was me! [laugh maniacally with Chef]

[Scott won immunity, and his reward was to vote off a contestant of his choice. In the end, he chose Mike]

Chris: The real final landmark was the totem pole. So immunity and today's sole vote got to the first person who completely tagged it. Scott!

Scott: Yeah!

Chris: Scott. Eliminate the player of your choice. [whispers] Choose Lightning.

Lightning: No! Eliminate Jo! He's a rat!

Scott: Eeny-meeny-miny-mo, who's the biggest lose-o? [chooses Mike to be eliminated] It's Mike! [Zoey gasps] Thanks for telling me to victory! [laughs]

Chris: Mike, the toxic marshmallow of loserdom is yours! [the toxic marshmallow is facing Mike's face, then the scene cuts to Mike to the Hurl of Shame] Well, Mike is was nice knowing ya! All four of ya! Or is it five? So hard to keep track.

Zoey: [to Mike, as he is about to be eliminated] Aww. And we were just getting to know each other.

Mike: I have something for you to remember me by. [gives Zoey a medallion with his face on it]

Zoey: Aww, it's beautiful! I wish we had more time together.

Mike: Well, I probably have time for a goodbye kiss. [leans in to kiss Zoey, but is catapaulted off the island] WAAAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

Up, Up & Away in My Pitiful Balloon [4.10]

Lightning: Lightning, taking to the sky! Sha-bam! [punching Scott]

Chris: Uh-huh. And here to demonstrate, put your hands together for a Total Drama classic contender, Heather!

[Heather gives an evil glare and everyone reacts negatively to her presence]

Zoey: Wow! You're the Heather?

Heather: [to Zoey] Sorry, I have this policy of not talking to losers.

Zoey: Oh, I'm not a loser, you know unless everyone else think I am.

Cameron: [in the Confessional] I am a 90 pound weakling. Okay, 89 and a half. With all of the Scotts and Lightnings out there, sometimes, I need to stay as invisible as possible. So, I'll hide behind Jo, then when it comes time to vote people off, everyone will target the serious competition, like Scott, or Lightning or, heh-heh, Jo!

Jo: Cam's a good kid. I'll carry him a few rounds, then I'll dump him! But first, Jockstrap's getting a ticket to the Hurl of Shame! He's got this silly "grudge" against me.

Lightning: Yeah! Because that Jo guy kicked me right into that shark's mouth! It was tenderizing me like a T-bone! Jo's gonna pay! Hmm. Man! I could really go for a T-bone right now. Anyway, I'm...

Scott: ...gonna whup...

Zoey: ...everybody else and...

Cameron: ...take home that million...

Jo: ...dollars for myself!

Lightning: Sha-licious!

Chris: [referring to Scott and Zoey's rivalry] Man, they really hate each other now, huh? [laughs while Heather walks up behind him, smiling evilly with a Gemmie statuette in her hand] I feel another Gemmie coming on! [Heather hits Chris and Chef Hatchet on the head and throws both of them out of the zeppelin] Whoa-ah!!!

Chef Hatchet: [as he's falling] Ahhhh!!!

Heather: [holding up the Gemmie statuette] One Gemmie for you. [holding up the prize money case] And one million for me! [closes zeppelin door]

Chris: [after he and Chef Hatchet land on the ground] Ugh! I think I sprained my stubble.

Cameron: Um, Chris?! Heather's stealing your Mobile Air Command Center.

Chris: [nonchalantly] Whatever, got it at the Air Force garage sale.

Jo: [knocks Cameron out of the way] And my million dollars!

Chris: Whatever, not my million bucks.

Zoey: And all your Gemmie Awards.

Chris: [now sounding worried] My Gemmies? [gets up assertively] Cancel the Obstacle Course of Doom! Your new challenge is to stop that zeppelin!!

Heather: [at the zeppelin's door, holding up Gemmie statuettes] Don't try to stop me! I've got gold statuettes, and I'm not afraid to use them!! [throws the statues]

Chris: [chasing after his awards] I've got you my precious-es! [gets hit by the statuettes]

Lightning: [after crashing into the Zeppelin] Yes, that cool mil, it's mine! [to Heather] Alright girl, hand it over.

Heather: [fakes crying] Oh, I'm sorry. All I wanted was the money. But this is just gone too far. Here, just take it. [smashes Lightning with the case]

Lightning: [after being smashed by Heather] What is wrong with you? [gets smashed for the second time] You crazy! [gets smashed for the third time]

Heather: [screaming to Lightning] I was robbed!! I deserve that money!!

[Jo got eliminated because Cameron and Lightning voted her off due to their mutual dislike of her.]

Jo: [to Cameron] You traitor! You backstabber! [Chef grabs her by the arm]

Cameron: I learned from the best.

Jo: You...! [calmly] You know? You're right. Good technique kid. [to Lightning] But you, you're an idiot. You couldn't even tell I was a girl.

Lightning: [shocked] You're WHAT?!

Chris: [the scene cuts to Jo to the Hurl of Shame] Any final words to your fellow competitors?

Jo: In your face- [gets catapulted] Lightnnnnnnnnning!

Eat, Puke & Be Wary [4.11]

Chris: Challenge time! And since you've been abused so flagrantly, today's challenge is a super, safe, fun challenge! [the contestants cheer] Get ready for bubbles! Flowers and cotton... [gets caught in one of Scott's snares] WHOA-WAHHHHH!!! [lands in the communal washroom hard and the contestants painfully react]

Scott: My snare...I mean, Cameron's snare threw Chris into the outhouse! [Cameron glares at him]

Chef: [opens the communal washroom's door, repulsed by the smell] Woo-wee! I need 5 interns and a fire hose, ASAP! [to Chris] We'll get you out soon!

Chris: [trapped in the septic tank, coughing] Ugh! [furious] Those ungrateful puppets JUST CROSSED THE LINE!! Remember your nasty challenges, Chef? The one's that got the red light? Yeah! The light just turned GREEN!

Chef: I'll bring the pain! [laughs manically as thunder and lightning effects] Okay, cool it.

[an intern brings DJ who is tied in a dolly]

Cameron: Hey! It's DJ!

DJ: [after his blindfold is taken off] No, not here! I vowed never to come back as long as there was breath in my lungs!

Chris: [attempting to get out of the septic tank] Hello-oh?! Someone gimme a hand; I'm almost free! [as he is losing his grip] Uh-oh! Oh no! [falls back into the tank] Ah, why-ee?! [he sobs while an Intern outside enjoys her coffee, smiling]

Chef: 3, 2, 1! Spatulas down! Well, dish it up cupcakes! Move! Move! Move!

Cameron: Today, I've made a delicious quiche. [shows DJ his meal] with toxic mushrooms.

[DJ whines after Cameron shows him his meal.]

Chef: Next!

Zoey: I present... the living salad! [spiders come out of the salad and land on DJ] Hey! [Chef takes her away]

Lightning: I went with an Italian thing, a ginormous maggot cannelloni, in a cream sauce. [the maggot screams but Lightning knocks him down] What did I tell you? Stay down! Uh? Fresh pepper?

Chef: Next!

Scott: I've made southern quiche surprised. If you managed to keep it down, surprise! [an eyeball pops out of the pie]

[DJ unties himself and runs away in fear]

Chef: Well, looks like we lost our taste tester. Rule change! You've got to eat all of your own weird grub.

[Cameron and Zoey voted Scott off in retaliation for being a jerk and causing so many eliminations, including the elimination of Mike.]

Chef: [reviews the votes] Now, to the votes! Let's see. Got one vote for Scott, one for Zoey, one for Lightning. And the final vote goes to...Scott!

Scott: What?! You've gotta be kidding me! [The Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdome lands on his lap and he screams in agony and pain]

Chef: [at the Hurl of Shame] I've been waiting to be the Hurl Master of this game!

Chris: [showing up on his jetpack] And you're gonna keep waiting.

Cameron, Lightning, and Zoey: Chris!

Chris: Yep! I'm the Hurl Master around here. You see, Scott, the Hurl of Shame is both shameful and painful, so I arranged for a friend to join you on your journey. [Fang jumps out of the water, startling Scott and takes his tooth back] This is my way of saying thanks, for flinging me into a pit of poo! [catapults Scott and Fang]

Scott: [last words before being placed inside the Trauma Chair by Fang] WOOOOAAAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

The Enchanted Franken-Forest [4.12]

Lightning: [in confessional with a Cameron dummy, mocking him] Hello, my name is Cameron, and I'm a sneaky challenge stealer! [in his normal voice] I made this Cameron-looking punching bag to give me extra motivation! What's that, you want me to punch you again? SHA-BAM! [Punches the dummy]

Cameron: Lightning is furious at me for winning the last immunity. He's focused all his energy on pumping iron and psyching me out, me! The guy who gets phsyched out by feathers and big drinking cups. [Chef puts two large drinking cups in front of Cameron as he falls] Are you even listening to me?

Zoey: You got to grab your fear at the throat and throttle it into courage! The thing that can turn a passive, small town teen who sews her own clothes into a hardened, extermination machine! [Uses a slingshot to shoot at Chef, dropping all his dishes] Besides, whatever Lightning's thinking can't be that bad.

Cameron: [in confessional, placing an ice pack on his hand] What happened to Zoey? Eh, no big deal, as long she protects me from Lightning. [screams as Lightning punches through the outhouse]

Lightning: End game is near. Bottom of the ninth, bases are loaded! Entering the storm corridor now, and it is time for the LIGHTNING TO STRIKE!! [lifts the outhouse] SHA-BAM!! [his pants drop down, and he drops the outhouse upon realization]

[Lightning won immunity, and his reward was to vote off a contestant of his choice. In the end, he chose Zoey.]

Chris: Elimination time! Lightning, by refusing to help rescue a fellow contestant from the jaws of a monster...

Lightning: Yeah, Baby!

Chris: ...You secured yourself a place in the finale! And you get to choose your opponent, in said finale!

Lightning: Sweet me! The Lightning is surprised that he's win!

Chris: Who will get the Hurl of Shame? Will it be Zoey, the formerly savaged commando, or will it be...

Cameron: Me! It will be me!

Zoey: Cameron!

Cameron: Yes! Today, I mistrusted the very person who saved my life! A person who taught me the true meaning of friendship!

Chris: Umm. Cam! Yeah! That's nice and all. But, it's not your choice!

Cameron: No! It's my time! I know it! And I embrace it! I've entered this competition, a boy in a bubble. But, I will return home a man in a bubble! Chris! You may hurl when ready!

Lightning: Actually, I'm hurling Zoey!

Cameron and Zoey: [shocked upon hearing this] What?

[Chef drags Zoey away]

Cameron: But Zoey is a more a worthy oppponent.

Lightning: Yep! That's why she's gone! I'm taking you to the finals, so I can eat you alive!

[Cameron gulps nervously]

Chris: Bon appetit! And Bon voyage! [catapults Zoey off the island, suddenly, realizes something] Whoops! She forgot her Toxic Marshmallow of Loserdom! Oh, well. Chef! Dispose of it so it's not dangerous! [Chef makes a confusion look on his face] Well. I for one am relieved, having Cam and Zoey compete for the million would've been a friendly, huggy, snooze fest!

Lightning: [confronts Cameron] Oh. There will be no snoozing and definitely no huggin'.

Chris: Yep! Just un-relenting, death-defying brains vs brawns mortal combat next time on Total Drama Revenge of the Island.

Brain vs. Brawn: The Ultimate Showdown [4.13]

Cameron: [points to something offscreen] What happened to Scott?

Chris: Yeah, Fang had a little too much fun with him after he took the Hurl of Shame. So, we got him this nifty trauma chair! [pan to Scott who is put inside the Trauma Chair after being mauled by Fang from his elimination] Even it has lights that blink yes and no. [the red light beeps]

Cameron: Is that a yes or a no?

Chris: No idea. But does anyone really care? It's Scott! [he and eliminated contestants laugh at him]

[Cameron's ending]

All: [except Scott] 1...2...3! [cheers]

Chris: He's done it! Cameron has done it! Cameron wins Total Drama: Revenge of the Island and the million dollar prize!

Cameron: Yes! I did it! [everybody cheers for him expect Scott]

[Lightning's ending]

Mike: Oh my gosh! Cam, get up!

Cameron: [tries to get up] I can't! The suit's out of power! It won't budge!

Jo: Come on Megajock! Pin him!

Lightning: [In a daze] Lightning's going to the Super Bowl! Sha-Baaam! [falls to the ground].

[everyone gasps except Scott]

Chris: 1...2...3! He's done it! Lightning has done it! Lightning wins Total Drama: Revenge of the Island and the million dollar prize!

Jo: [every contestant besides Jo groans] Yes! Brawn over brains. Thank you. I taught him that, by the way.

Chris: Well. That's it for another season! Except for one last surprise I hid on their boat! First word of show biz. Always go out with a bang! [Presses a button, but, gets blasted out of the docks, while, the other contestants cheer, lands in the water and realize that Chef was behind it] Chef! Until next time! I'm Chris McLean and this has been Total Drama: Revenge of the Island!

Guards: You're busted, McLean!

Chris: For what?

Guards: Creating an environmental disaster, that's what! Residents of Wawanakwa! Your island is under government protection! You're hereby quarantined! Prepare for heavy scrub decontamination!