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Castle (2009-2016) is an American comedy-drama television series, airing on ABC, about a mystery writer, Richard Castle, becoming involved in investigating murders after a copycat killer uses his novels as inspiration and he decides to base a series of novels on the lead investigator, Detective Kate Beckett.

A Deadly Affair [3.1]

Ryan: [Looking at a cardboard cut-out of Castle] He really is ruggedly handsome.

Beckett: CIA’s a popular theory with you.

Castle: Yes, well, law of averages demands that I’ll eventually be right.

Beckett: I’d forgotten how helpful your insights can be.

Castle: You look good.

Beckett: You look good, too.

Castle: Yeah?

Beckett: For murder!

[Castle explaining to Beckett why he had the gun at the murder scene]

Castle: Maybe you missed the part where I said she was shot dead. When I heard the noises coming from the next room, I thought whoever killed her was coming back. So I picked up the gun to defend myself. It seemed like a very good idea at the time. That’s when you, Esposito and Annie Oakley [gestures to the viewing room] come bursting through the door.

Montgomery: Annie Oakley?

Ryan: I kind of almost shot Castle. What? He had a gun.

Castle: Do you know what these bodies are? A sign.

Beckett: A sign?

Castle: A sign. A sign from the universe telling us we need to solve this case together. You don’t wanna let the universe down, do you?

Beckett: You’re not gonna go away no matter what I do, are you?

Castle: I respect the universe.

Beckett: Okay, fine. I will let you join me on this one case as long as you promise to do what I say, when I say it, and not to do any investigating on your own.

Castle: I promise. You won’t regret this.

Beckett: I already do.

Castle: Starting now.

He's Dead, She's Dead [3.2]

Beckett: Why is it so important to you that I believe all this stuff about fates and psychics and Santa Claus?

Castle: Because if you don't believe in even the possibility of magic, you'll never ever find it.

Beckett: My gut says it’s not him. But we still have to look into his alibi.

Castle: Oh, so you don’t believe in fate, yet your gut has magical properties. That’s cool. Scully.

Martha: Richard. Whatever mistakes I’ve made in my life, I raised a good man.

Castle: Oh, let me guess, you don’t believe in fate. Soulmates?

Beckett: No.

Castle: Unicorns, fairies, double rainbows? Didn’t you ever think your dolls used to get up at night and play with your toys?

Beckett: Sorry.

Castle: Mmm… Let me guess. You were one of those annoying 6 year olds who stopped believing in Santa Claus because you figured out he couldn’t travel faster than the speed of light.

Beckett: I was 3, and we didn’t have a chimney.

Castle: I’m not saying I can speak with the dead. I’m just willing to admit that there are people in this world who are more sensitive than me.

Beckett: Now, that’s not hard to believe. [Walks away]

Castle: [To Ryan] Walked right into that one.

Ryan: [nodding] Mmm.

Alexis: Can either of you look back on a relationship that ended because the thrill was gone and admit that maybe you gave up on love too soon? Dad, you’re back with your ex-wife.

Castle: Ooh! No, she’s right. Yeah, with Gina, the thrill was long, long gone, but now, it is back with a vengeance. Of course, it brought along its friends, high-maintenance and shopaholic.

[Reading a letter from the victim that had just arrived]

Beckett: “To whom it may concern, I feel that my murder is imminent-

[Castle squeaks and the others turn to glance at him briefly]

Beckett: [Continuing with the letter] “And although I have no idea yet where or when this event will occur, I have had a vision of my death. In the vision, I could not breathe. I saw a man dressed in black, the number 7-5-1-8 and I could hear a furious pounding from what seemed to be far away. I’m sorry I cannot be more specific

Castle: [Excitedly] The psychic predicted her own murder!

Under the Gun [3.3]

Alexis: [Bringing Castle breakfast in bed] Breakfast time!

Castle: Oh! What did I do to deserve this? Other than, you know, being... me.

Alexis: Isn't that enough?

[Alexis kisses him on the cheek, Castle chuckles]

Castle: Okay, what do you want?

Alexis: Nothing! Why do I have to want something?

Castle: March, 1999, you wanted a Hello Kitty backpack. I got French toast with a whipped-cream smiley face. October, 2004, you wanted a set of mint condition, Empire Strikes Back lightsabers. I got an omelet shaped like Darth Vader.

Castle: You were a girl once.

Beckett: [Smirks] Still am...

Castle: [Holding up a picture of Alexis sitting on a Vespa ] Can you tell me why my daughter wants one of these so badly?

Beckett: Oh, bikes are what girls want when we realize we're never gonna get a pony.

Beckett: [About Alexis wanting a scooter] You know what this means, though?

Castle: No. What?

Beckett: Well, Alexis is entering her "wild child" phase.

Castle: [Smiles indulgently] My daughter? Hah, I don't think so.

Beckett: Oh yeah, Castle, all girls go through it. And the good girls are the worst.

[Castle's smile slides off his face]

Random: I wasn't running away! I was jogging.

Beckett: So what were you doing climbing down the side of a building?

Random: Uh, Cross-training. [Nods sagely] Better cardiovascular workout.

Beckett: Did you kill Carver for the map?

Royce: Oh, come on, kid, you know me better than that.

Beckett: [Coldly, hurt] I don't think I do. Because the man I knew wouldn't betray me like this.

Royce: I gotta go.

Beckett: Mike. I was in love with you.

Royce: Oh, Kate. Don't.

Beckett: You were the only one who understood the obsession that drove me. Who didn't tell me that I would get over my mother's murder and that she wouldn't want me to do this.

Royce: [Shaking his head, sadly] Just — just trying to do right by you, kid.

Beckett: I dreamt about you. The night I shot the guy that killed my mother, I dreamt that I was the one who was on the ground dying, and that you came up to me and told me to stand up, 'cause there was still work to be done. [Longingly] When I woke up that morning I just wanted to call you, but we hadn't talked in so long.

Royce: You should've called. I never forgot.

Beckett: I'm going to catch Carver's killer, Royce. And then I'm going to recover Lloyd's score. And when I arrest you, you're going to realize that what you destroyed today was worth a hell of a lot more than money. [She hangs up. Speaks to Ryan, suddenly distant, and unemotional] Did I keep him on long enough?

Ryan: [Shocked] Uh, uh...

Esposito: Yeah, we got an address.

Beckett: All right, let's go.

Castle: Wh-what? All of that was just an act, to get a trace?

Beckett: Of course. [She turns and walks out, her face contorting with silent tears]

[Beckett finds a bug in the victim’s calculator]

Castle: A wireless RF transmitter, to be precise. Not to be confused with the more advanced infrared signal burst device.

Beckett: Book research?

Castle: Nanny Cam.

[Searching for the suspects in a cemetery]

Ryan: You know, if this were a horror movie, we’d be the first ones killed, splitting off like this.

Esposito: Yeah, except we are not a couple of top-heavy coeds out looking for fun. We’re highly trained officers of the law with enough firepower to take out a horde of undead.

Ryan: Hispanic and cocky. Yeah, you’d definitely die first.

[A standoff at the cemetery…]

Beckett: Well, then maybe we should make sure the treasure’s even there before we start shooting. Castle, do you mind?

Castle: Why me?

Beckett: ‘Cause you’re the only one without a gun.

Castle: [Looks around at everyone else] Good point.

Punked [3.4]

Ryan: He didn't kill Goldstein, but he did kill squirrel-stein. [Holds up a dead squirrel] What're the odds, huh?

Castle: Oh no, they took his clothes too!

Ryan: Could you...? [hands dead squirrel to officer]

Esposito: Awwwww!

Ryan: Yeah I know, I'm sorry.

Castle: Wonder what’s up with Alexis. She seems a little out of it.

Martha: Isn’t it obvious?

Castle: What?

Martha: Oh, she’s in love.

Castle: Alexis?

Martha: Oh, come on, darling. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s not a little girl anymore.

Castle: Thank you, mother. I think if Alexis were in love she would’ve told me.

Martha: Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. The fact that she hasn’t told you is how we know it’s real.

Castle: [Warningly] Mother.

Martha: Okay. And the fact that she mentioned it to me last night.

Castle: Who is he? Where did she meet him?

Martha: Oh, I don’t know. She wouldn’t say. No, diva's honor. She didn’t tell me anything. She didn’t even tell me his name.

Castle: [Sulkily] Can’t believe she told you and not me. I’m supposed to be her go-to guy.

Martha: Oh, darling, of course you are. It’s just, you know, it’s first love. It’s magical, ethereal. It defies logic.

[Castle’s phone rings. He ignores it, still sulking]

Martha: Richard, your phone.

Castle: [He shrugs] Mmm.

Martha: [Picks it up] Ah, Beckett. Maybe it’s a nice murder, darling. Brighten your day.

[Castle starts to smile]

Martha: Good boy.

Castle: [Answers] Castle.

Castle: So, I wear boxers. What do you wear? Thong? Cheekies? I told you mine! Bloomers? Granny panties? [Eyes opening wide] Commando?

Castle: How do you know you're in love?

Beckett: All the songs make sense.

Castle: [ as the suspect runs away] Quick! He's heading for the time machine!

[Trying to identify the gun with the aid of an expert in antique guns]

Beckett: And how many people would own that kind of antique pistol?

Abe Sandrich: They’re considered collectibles, so they don’t have to be registered.

Castle: Making it pretty smart to kill someone with one.

Abe: Oh, yeah. Guns may be old, but they got plenty of killing left in ‘em

Anatomy of a Murder [3.5]

Beckett: Are you getting mail here now?

Castle: Only when I don't want my daughter to see it. [opens the envelope to show 2 tickets for Taylor Swift concert] Laa...

Beckett: You're a Taylor Swift fan?

Castle: They are for Alexis. Cost me an arm and a leg, but Alexis will be thrilled. Apparently she and Ash have a song.

Beckett: Yeah, well we have a song as well.

Castle: We do?

Beckett: Uhuh. "You Talk Too Much" by Clarence Carter.

Esposito: That was a nice thing you guys did in there.

Castle: Well, I just thought that after everything Greg did for her, they deserve a chance. Besides, if it were you and I in Amy's shoes, we'd still be rotting in prison.

Esposito: Huh, speak for yourself, bro. I'd escape.

Castle: What, you'd just leave me in there?

Esposito: It's the law of the jungle. I gotta look out for numero uno.

Castle: Wow. Nothing like a hypothetical prison term to let you know who your friends really are.

Beckett: Don't worry Castle, I'd get you out.

Castle: Don't we usually get to the victim before the funeral?

Beckett: What have we got?

Esposito: Mourners found a body in the caskett

Castle: And that's unusual how?

Esposito: Well, the family was bidding a fond farewell to Mr. Mank here and discovered that he wasn't going to the grave alone.

Castle: Is it just me, or is Mr. Mank smiling?

Esposito: I found something unusual. Almost every morning she bought coffee.

Ryan: A doctor that drinks coffee, wow that is unusual.

Esposito: It is. The coffee shop is twenty blocks from her apartment.

Castle: Maybe it was on her way to work?

Esposito: Nope, complete opposite direction.

Castle: Boyfriend in the neighborhood?

Esposito: Only one way to find out. (walks away)

Ryan: Great, now he's mad at me.

[Ryan telling Castle what he found after checking up on Greg’s alibi]

Ryan: …So I spoke to more members of the staff and that’s when I found…the others.

Castle: The others?

Ryan: The other women in what I call... [pulls out a second board] the Galaxy of Greg. Each one of these women orbits Greg and considers him to be her special friend.

Castle: Well, that totally makes him McSteamy!

3XK [3.6]

Montgomery: An FBI profile was as close as we came to ID-ing a suspect. Feds say he's a white male, 25 to 45 years old,

Castle: [To Beckett] Could be me.

Montgomery: Has a dysfunctional relationship with his mother,

Castle: Still me.

Montgomery: He has a menial, unimportant job.

Beckett: [To Castle] Definitely you.

Castle: Just for that, I'm basing my next book on Esposito. [Beckett glares at Castle]

Martha: It's like when I was doing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and I thought my understudy was trying to poison me.

Castle: Oh, yeah, the daily blood tests I paid for. Wait, she did poison you. The Swiss chocolate she gave you was a laxative.

Martha: Eh, added a certain urgency to my performance. But the point is, you indulged my paranoia. So therefore I'm going to be in the park - five 'o clock - at a discreet distance to make sure that Alexis' secret admirer is not an axe murderer.

Castle: Tell me you've arrested Gates

Beckett: Not even close. I mean, I don't know how, Castle, but he killed Kim Foster and he's gonna do it again.

Castle: There's been no developments? Usually you call me with news. [He stops in realization, his eyes grow wide. Beckett cringes, knowing she's been caught] You called to seek my counsel!

Beckett: [Very slightly sheepish] I wouldn't say it exactly like that...

Castle: No, no, no! You're hoping I had some wild theory. Some sort of penetrating insight that would lead us to a breakthrough.

Beckett: Well... do you?

Castle: [Stops, as if trying very hard to come up with something. Exhales exasperatedly] Gah! I got nothing.

Castle: Oh, it's really not complicated. You were raised by a single mother. She was blonde, she was beautiful, but she never wanted you. When you were, what, twelve? She died, suddenly. Let's say drug overdose. You went foster care, the bad kind. You've so much hate. So much hate towards your mother for abandoning you that you kill these women to get back at her. But you leave them looking peaceful because as much as you hated your mother, you loved your mother. Am I getting warm?

Jerry: You're drawn to death. You like to be around it, because it thrills you. Now, where does that come from? Your own suppressed impulses? [Leans forward] How close to death do you want to get, huh?

Beckett: Tell me something, Castle. Why did he let you live?

Castle: As punishment, for me ruining his plan. Now he's gonna kill again, all 'cause I couldn't stop him. And I feel so... [shakes his head despairingly]

Beckett: I know the feeling.

Castle: I know you do.

[Beckett puts her hand on his knee. He clasps her hand in his own, his thumb stroking the back of her hand.]

Lanie: That was fast

Castle: 911 has that effect on people

Almost Famous [3.7]

Castle: You know, ever since I’ve been following you I’ve been dreaming of the day you’d say, “Let’s go to the strip club and get this dirt bag.” Just never imagined it would feel like this.

Beckett: Let me know if you need any singles.

Martha: This is... the best thing that has ever happened to you. Rejection is the bedrock of a great acting career. Until an actor has suffered, he hasn't really lived.

Alexis: Thanks, gram.

Martha: You're welcome. And besides, auditions are like men. There's another one right around the corner.

Castle: Ladies, I am not a stripper. Though I can understand how you’d make that mistake.

Beckett: Castle?

Castle: [surrounded by women] Hey, honey. Oh, you found me. I was just telling Denise here about you. [The women start to disperse.] This is, uh, my girlfriend, whose idea it was to come here tonight. She’s very adventurous, you have no idea... there’s... [The women leave. Kate sits down.] Thank God you found me. Oh, my God, these women are like piranhas.

[After Castle is awakened by Alexis’ and Martha’s voice exercises early in the morning]

Alexis: I mentioned to Gram last night that I was thinking about trying out for Grease at my school.

Castle: Oh! The ol' “Gram goes overboard because acting is in your bones” routine.

Alexis: Apparently.

Castle: Yeah. Yeah. Rookie move, telling her about the audition.

Alexis: I wasn’t sure I’d have time with all my other clubs, so I thought it might be fun. I didn’t know she’d wake me up when it was still dark outside.

Martha: An actor learns to make sacrifices for his craft. Besides, we’ll all have plenty of time to sleep when we’re dead.

[Both Castle and Alexis yawn]

Castle: Tell me again why Ryan and Esposito couldn’t come with you?

Beckett: We all agreed as Volunteer Assistant Homicide Detective, you could really sink your teeth into this avenue of investigation. And they called “not it.”

Murder Most Fowl [3.8]

Beckett: Okay Castle, I'm here; what's so important?

Castle: Your first clue is: "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime".

Beckett: Oh, Jeez, Castle, I haven't even had my coffee yet - (he hands her a cup of coffee) Thank you.

Castle: From the Sherlock Holmes stories, Silver Blaze. Holmes unmasks the murderer because of what didn't happen. The dog didn't bark. That's how he knew: the dog must have known the killer.

Beckett: Okay, yes, I remember the story.

Castle: Then you know that the hardest form of detection is looking for the thing that isn't there. Byron said that Len was going to verify the hawks. Verify, as in provide proof, which means...

Beckett: He would've had a camera!

Castle: Which we didn't find. And if he was taking pictures...

Beckett: We should be able to figure out what he was up to!

Castle: You know, I understand ferrets as a pet. Snakes, spiders, even a hairless mole. But a rat?

Beckett: There are probably kids in the city who keep cockroaches as pets.

Castle: You’re probably right. Strangest pet you ever had?

Beckett: You.

Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind [3.9]

Castle: [holding a DVD] Wait! That's it? I mean, no pomp? No circumstance? What's on this could shape the foundations of our very existence. We need to pause and savor-

Beckett: [taking the DVD] Please, let's just stick it in and get this over with. I mean, the fact of the matter is there probably nothing of any value on that CD to our investiga-

[image of a craft in space comes up on the screen]

Castle: You were saying?

Beckett: [in whisper] No way!

[Castle and Beckett had been captured, interrogated and injected by government agents the night before]

Beckett: Those men knew who killed Marie and they refused to tell us.

Castle: They also refused to confirm that J. Edgar Hoover liked to wear dresses.

Esposito: [walking up and checking out the injection marks on their necks] Abducted by government agents, huh? [grins] Come on. What were you two really doing?

Beckett: [rolls eyes] It's not a hickey, Esposito.

Esposito: You both have one.

Castle: I wish it was a hickey. [Beckett looks up with a small smile] It's from the injectors.

Esposito: Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Castle: They were Men in Black!

...

[Ryan walks up to Castle, Beckett and Esposito]

Ryan: Hey. Are those hickeys?

Esposito: Yes.

Beckett: No.

Castle: I wish.

Beckett: [Showing a photo to two Chinese men she holds at gunpoint] Have you seen this man?

Castle: [In Chinese] My partner is crazy and may start firing at any moment.

[They point]

Beckett: Go. Go! [They run] Semester abroad?

Castle: No. A TV show I used to love.

Beckett: Huh. Nice job.

Castle: Thanks.

[A captured suspect begins chewing on something]

Castle: Cyanide capsule! [pries the object from the suspect's mouth, inspects it with a flashlight, sees it's chewing gum] ...Ew!

[Examining the altitude chamber]

Beckett: What would happen if a person went inside?

Ms. Holder: Without protective gear?

Beckett: Mmm-hmm.

Ms. Holder: Your lungs rupture from gas expansion, and all the liquid in your body evaporates.

Castle: So, all the horrible effects of outer space, without the view.

Castle: Where do you come down on deficit spending during an economic downturn?

[Hands Beckett her coffee]

Beckett: [Taking the coffee] Thank you. I take the theory that’s held by most economists, that deficit spending is acceptable as long as it focuses on public investment, like infrastructure, defense, education, research.

Castle: Wow! Where did that answer come from?

Beckett: A semester of Economic Theory at NYU. Where did that question come from?

Castle: Trying out conversation starters.

Last Call [3.10]

[After entering a sewer discovered next to a basement.]

Beckett: This must be part of the old sewer system.

Castle: Probably the exact sewer system --- This is incredible, isn't it?

Beckett: Yeah! Aside from the fact that it's damp, cramped, dark, and we're almost certainly walking in rat poop. [high pitched] Awesome.

[Examining a body they found in the river]

Lanie: …so I’d say no, this was no boating accident.

Castle: [Bending down] Then we’d better close the beaches.

[Lanie and Becket give him confused looks]'

Castle: “No boating accident”? Chief Brody? Hooper? [The women are still confused and Castle rises back up annoyed] Seriously?

Nikki Heat [3.11]

[Castle walks into the station carrying two coffees. Natalie is writing on the "murder board", Beckett eyes at her uneasily]

Natalie: [Takes a coffee] Thanks, Castle!

Castle: [Stunned at her audacity] Tha—that's, I was— uh... you're welcome?

[Beckett looks shocked and distraught]

Castle: So, where are we?

Natalie: Ryan and Esposito are digging into Tanya Wellington.

Castle: [Directly addressing Beckett] Mmm, what about Duke Jones? Did his neighbor confirm his romantic evening?

Beckett: He—

Natalie: [Cuts her off] So did a couple of other neighbors, who complained about the noise. So it looks like Duke Jones allibis out.

Beckett: [Put out] What she said. [To Castle] Can we talk for a second?

Castle: Sure.

[Beckett loops her arm through his and quickly leaves the room, ending up frantically dragging him into another room]

Beckett: She took my coffee, Castle!

Castle: It's just coffee.

Beckett: Then what's next? My soul?! Everything I do, she does. Even when I'm thinking I can feel her in my head like some kind of a brain-eating parasite from one of her movies!

[Natalie walks in dressed up as Beckett, with a brunette wig and similar suit. Castle's and Beckett's jaws drop.]

Castle: Just like I dreamed it! [They both stare at him] Did I say that out-loud?

Natalie: Is Castle gay?

Beckett: [So shocked that she spits out her coffee] I'm sorry, what? No. No!

Natalie: Then you two are an item, but you're sworn to secrecy, right?

Beckett: No, we are not an item. Why?

Natalie: [Sighs] Last night I invited him back to my place. And he said something to me I have never heard from a man before.

Beckett: What?

Natalie: "No."

Beckett: [Raises her eyebrows] No?

Natalie: I don't get it! He's into you, but you're determined not to give into these feelings that you clearly have for him. So he fantasizes about you through his writing. It's literally verbal masturbation.

Beckett: Uh—okay, so what does this have to do with me?

Natalie: [Indicates her "Beckett costume"] I am not wearing this getup for my health. You're Nikki Heat, he's Jameson Rook. I need to sleep with him in the name of character research. Can you talk to him?

Beckett: And say what?

Natalie: [Shrugs] I dunno, give him permission or something.

[Beckett is momentarily speechless]

Beckett: I have to go. Over there. [She disappears in a random direction]

Beckett: [Watching Natalie at the murder board] Do I really do that?

Castle: Yes, and it's adorable.

Beckett: If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me? [Castle looks momentarily puzzled] Her me, not me me.

Castle: Oh, well a fictional character that I wrote, based on you, played by Natalie Rhodes? It's just way too... meta.

Beckett: [mouthing] Meta?

Ryan: [walks in] We should have a code word so we all know what Beckett to kill when the clone army attacks.

Beckett: Unless we make a preventive strike.

Castle: Get through to Jenny yet?

Ryan: She's still not picking up.

Beckett: Don't worry, you'll be laughing about it soon enough.

Castle: We are.

Ryan: Thanks. So I've been running through all Stacy's clients files. Three couples had filed for divorce within the last month, can you believe it? You marry the love of your life and next thing you know they're cheating on you.

Beckett: Ryan.

Ryan: Sorry, anyway two of the guys have rock-solid alibies and the third divorce has nothing to do with cheating.

Esposito: [walks in] What you guys doing?

Ryan: Hiding from creepy Beckett.

Beckett: We are not hiding!

Poof! You're Dead [3.12]

Castle: I never pegged you for a magic fan. You know any good tricks?

Beckett: I do this one thing... with ice cubes.

Castle: I wonder how Zalman did it. Must’ve whipped something from Jerome’s pocket with a receipt for his weekend of sin.

Beckett: Like this? (Holds up Castle’s phone.)

Castle: (Gasps.) You had your hand in my pocket and I didn’t even feel it? Do it again.

Beckett: [To a suspect who is also a street magician] We need to talk to you about Zalman Drake.

Chuck: Abracadabra. [throws smoke bomb at his feet, vanishes]

Beckett: [Opens the lid of the platform he was standing on, pulls him out] Alakazam, jackass.

Beckett: So where’s Esposito?

Ryan: Ha, take a wild guess.

Beckett & Castle: Lanie.

Ryan: Can’t believe they still think that none of us know.

Castle: Well, let’s let em keep thinking that a while longer. The bubble bursts soon enough.

Beckett: Not if you’re in it with the right person.

Knockdown [3.13]

Raglan: [Indicates Castle] Lady, what part of "no cops" did you not understand?

Beckett: He's not a cop.

Raglan: Well, who the hell is he, then?

Beckett: Someone I trust.

Martha: I Heard about the shooting on the news. Could have been you. You know that, don't you?

Castle: Yeah, but I'm fine, wasn't me.

Martha: Richard, this isn't one of your books, you don't know the ending! You were just lucky yesterday.

Castle: [Somewhat nonchalant] You're overreacting, mother. Where is this coming from?

Martha: [Shocked and furious at his flippant attitude] How the hell can you ask me something like that? Think about how much you love Alexis, and that is how much I love you, and don't you dare ask me where this is coming from! You have gotten through most of life on your wit, and charm and no small amount of talent. But that is the real world out there, and you can't charm your way out of a bullet.

Castle: You think I should quit?

Martha: I think you should be honest with yourself about why you're doing this. You had written 22 novels before you met her, and you didn't need to spend every day in a police station in order to finish them.

Castle: It's not about the books anymore.

Simmons: You painted since the last time I was here. You'd have been about 16 wrestling some pimply kid in the back of his daddy's wagon. Wondering if you were gonna give it to him or not.

Castle: Hey that's enough!

Simmons: He's sweet on you. Makes him brave.

Beckett: There is no statute of limitations on murder Mr. Simmons.

Simmons: And here begins what is known as the initial confrontation. During this phase of the interrogation the interrogator may invade the suspect's personal space in order to increase his discomfort. You want to invade my personal space?

Beckett: Look at me. 12 years ago Johanna Beckett led a big take back the neighborhood campaign in Washington Heights.

Castle: That musta pissed you off.

Simmons: And this would be theme development. Presenting the crime through the eyes of the suspect.

Beckett: Johanna Beckett was murdered, along with two of her colleagues. They were professional hits, carried out on your orders and you had your pet homicide detective John Raglan bury them. Look at her face. Tell me you don’t remember her.

Simmons: You know Detective Beckett, I think I do remember her. Bled out in an alley like the trash she was.

Beckett: Mr. Simmons, you’d better watch it…

Simmons: Rich bitch from uptown on safari in the Heights. Somebody should’ve warned her not to feed or tease the animals.

Beckett: You…

Simmons: If they had, she might not have gotten eaten. From what I hear though, she was pretty tasty.

Beckett: Ah! [Grabs Simmons by the jacket and slams him against the glass, shattering it]

Castle: Whoa, Beckett!

Beckett: Back off Castle! Remember your old life Vulcan. Savour it. Because I am gonna take it all away.

Beckett: Castle, there's something I need you to do

Castle: Name it.

Beckett: Go home.

Castle: Forget it. Fear does not exist in this dojo.

Beckett: Look, I signed up for this when I put that badge on, you didn't. It's not your fight.

Castle: [Suddenly incensed] The hell it isn't! [Calmer, but completely serious] I don't hang around you just to annoy you, I don't ride off to murder scenes in the middle of the night just to satisfy some morbid curiosity. If that was all this was I would've quit a long time ago.

Beckett]: Well, then, why do you keep coming back, Rick?

Castle: [Swallows] Look, I may not have a badge—unless you count the chocolate one Alexis gave me for my birthday—but I'll tell you this: like it or not, I'm your plucky sidekick.

Beckett: Plucky sidekick always gets killed.

Castle: Partner, then.

Beckett: Okay.

Beckett: There was, uh, a lawyer named Johanna Beckett, Are you familiar with her? She was murdered in the alley about seven years into your incarceration.

Pulgatti: [Wistfully] You look just like her, you know. When you first walked in here, it was like I was looking at a ghost. The way she talked about you, I should've known you'd become a cop. I sent letters to every lawyer I could find, and your mother was the only one who wrote me back, the only one willing to take a chance on me. She didn't care that I was a thug.

Beckett: [Smiles weakly] All she cared about was the truth

Beckett: How’s the hand?

Castle: Uh, excruciating. How’re Ryan and Esposito?

Beckett: Hmm. Mild hypothermia. Wounded pride. Guess which one’ll heal first? [She finishes bandaging.] Thank you. For having my back in there.

Castle: Always.

[Sniper shoots Raglan]

Beckett: Everybody on the ground now! Back away from the window! Away from the window!

Castle: You're hit.

Beckett: I'm fine. It's not my blood. (into radio) One Lincoln Forty, I have shots fired on 4th and Main. I need backup and an ambulance.

Dispatch: One Lincoln Forty, repeat your last transmission; you were broken. One Lincoln Forty, repeat.

Beckett: Castle?

[Castle shakes his head, Raglan's dead.]

Dispatch: Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty, repeat. Dispatch to One Lincoln Forty. One Lincoln Forty, are you there?

Beckett: One Lincoln Forty. Please be advised, this is now a homicide.

[After Lockwood abducts Ryan and Esposito]

Hal Lockwood: Now, I’m going to make you a deal. You tell me what I need to know, one pro to another, and I will put a bullet in your brain. You don’t, you jerk me around, and you will be begging me to before this night is up.

[Ryan and Esposito turn to each other briefly]

Esposito: I’m going to have to go with option B.

Ryan: Oh, yeah. We’re definitely going to jerk you around.

[While torturing Ryan]

Lockwood: Yeah, you know, they always start off with bravado. The begging comes later. See, this is ice cold water. It’ll burn like hell when it hits his lungs, but he won’t lose consciousness right away. But all this stops when you tell me how much the cops know!

Lucky Stiff [3.14]

Castle [Shows up in Beckett's apartment]I know what you would do if you won the lottery. [He lets himself in].

Beckett By all means, please come in. So, what is your big insight into a financial decision I will never have to make?

Castle You would use the money to honor your mother's legacy. On the way over here I called the dean of your mom's old school and we talked about starting a scholarship in Johanna Beckett's name. One that will provide a full ride for students planning on dedicating their careers to those in the legal system without a voice, the kind of people your mom championed. And, with your blessing, I would like to host a fundraiser to fund it.

Beckett [Soft angry voice and face expressionless] You just can't stay out of my personal life, can you?

Castle [Looks at her with fearful eyes]

Beckett' [Suddenly smiling and showing great emotion in her face] Thank you, it's really sweet.

Castle Definitely have to invite The Mayor, and all his campaign contributors...[He walks off towards the dining room]

[With teary eyes, Beckett smiles and follows him]

[Interrupting the Page brothers song recording]

Page: What the hell, yo? That was slamming.

Castle: [Speaking into the intercom]

Three armed cops and a writer makes four.

You’re under arrest, so get on the floor.

Castle: The butler really did do it!

The Final Nail [3.15]

[As Castle and Beckett argue in the room]

Ryan: What’s going on?

Esposito: Mom and Dad are fighting.

Ryan: Who’s winning?

Castle: I don’t care about statistics. I am telling you Damian is not capable of murder.

Beckett: You know, I could say that about maybe three people that I’ve met in my entire life. What is it about this guy that warrants this unshakeable faith that you have in him?

Castle: When I was 14, my mom sent me to Edgewick Academy. I was homesick and I didn’t have any friends, so I wrote about it. One day I submitted a story to the literary magazine. Damian Westlake was the editor.

Beckett: And he published it.

Castle: More than that. He called me down to his office. He sat me down and he said, “Ricky... you have a great talent.” No one had ever said anything like that to me before. Damian, he encouraged me, he critiqued me, he always made me dig a little deeper. Without Damian Westlake, I’m a lawyer, I’m a grifter, I’m a rodeo clown, but I’m not a writer. Without him, I’m not me.

[After telling Damian that they also found the man who killed his father years ago]

Damian: Wow, this is… It is pretty overwhelming. I got a plane to catch, so maybe we should just talk about this later.

Castle: Michael told the cops you got in touch with him. Asked him if he wanted to make a lot of money for one night’s work. You gave him your Rolex and your car as a down payment. When your inheritance came through, he got a half million dollars and a one-way ticket to Los Angeles. He still has your Rolex…and a map that you drew of your father’s house, with a path leading straight to his bedroom.

Damian: Rick, he’s lying.

Castle: [voice hardening] Tell me you didn’t do it.

Damian: Ricky, I…

Castle: Tell me I haven’t been believing in you all this time for nothing.

[doorbell rings]

Castle: That’s them. Detective Salazar and some New York detectives. They’re here to take you in. [rising up from his seat] I told them you’d be a gentleman.

Beckett: "Show me a hero and I’ll write you a tragedy." F. Scott Fitzgerald said that.

Castle: Then it must have been Ernest Hemingway who said, "Man, I sure could use a drink right about now."

Beckett: Lead the way. I’m buying.

Setup [3.16]

[As Esposito, Beckett and Castle move toward the body]

Esposito: Everything points to him being popped for cash and car parts.

Lanie: Not everything, baby

Beckett: [whispering] Did you just call him “baby?”

Lanie: Ooh. Did I?

Castle: [mouthing] You did.

Lanie: He was killed at 11:15

Castle: So specific. I’m impressed.

Lanie: His watch broke when he fell.

Castle: You shouldn’t have told me. Less impressed.

[Lanie gives him an annoyed glance]

[As they open Amir’s storage unit]

Castle: What do you think is in there?

Beckett: I don’t know. May be empty, like Al Copone’s vault.

Castle: No, think of all the amazing things that are found in storage units at times like this. [spreading his arms out] "Ark of the Covenant, Dr. Jones?"

[Speaking with Homeland Security agent Fallon about the case]

Montgomery: Just so I’m clear, are you taking over?

Fallon: This is your case. I’m just here to lend support however I can.

Esposito: Yo, Cap. ICE just sent over the immigration papers for Amir Alhabi. He got a degree in electrical engineering from a school in Damascus.

Fallon: What was he working on in Syria?

Ryan: I got that one. I just spoke with the State Department. They debriefed Amir when he first landed here. They say he was working on a weapons program for the Syrians.

Montgomery: Nuclear weapons?

Ryan: Yeah

Fallon: Okay. Now I’m taking over

Castle: How's Josh?

Beckett: Fine. He's He's on his way to Haiti to do another Doctors Without Borders mission.

Castle: How long?

Beckett: I don't know. It's so funny, Castle. You know, at first, I loved that he was so busy. It just It just gave me an opportunity to keep one foot out the door, just in case.

Castle: But with one foot out the door, it's hard to know where you stand.

Beckett: And even if I did, I mean, what does it mean? He's out there, he's saving people. How do you even compete with that?

Castle: You can't. No. No one can.

Beckett: That's one of the things that attracted me to him the most. That passion. That drive. Why is it that the thing that attracts you to a person always ends up being that thing that just drives you crazy? I just wish that it I wish that I had someone who would be there for me, and I could be there for him, and we could just dive into it together.

Castle: What’s your take on Fallon?

Beckett: Smart cop, driven, killer instinct. As a person, kind of a douche.

Countdown [3.17]

[As they are freezing to death]

Beckett: Castle.

Castle: Yeah?

Beckett: [Reaching up to him] Thank you for being there.

Castle: Always

[Explaining how they found Beckett and Castle]

Ryan: We thought you must be out there doing something incredibly stupid against orders, so we sent patrol units everywhere we figured you’d be moronic enough to go. Found Beckett’s car, and we searched the area until we found the light from the storage container. [Bumps fists with Esposito]

Castle: Well, I’m glad my stupidity’s predictable.

Fallon: You two. Are you always this stubborn and insubordinate?

Castle: Only when we’re trying to save the world.

Castle: He’s not wrong, you know. Used to be we go to war, everybody sacrifices, everybody pitches in. Now, you don’t even see it on the news. [Montgomery gives him a critical look] I’m not defending him. I’m just saying I understand the anger.

[Fallon and Beckett interrogating Radford in order to find the bomb]

Fallon: Do you see yourself as a great hero, doing this for a mighty cause? You think that’s how people are going to see you? Because, I’ll tell you right now, brother, if you let this happen, you’re going to go down in history as America’s greatest mass murderer. Is that what you want?

Radford: When this bomb goes off, do you think they’re going to be looking at me? People will see this as an act of terrorism, so they will be looking for a terrorist. Not a patriot. Not one of their own.

Fallon: Is that what you think you are? A patriot? There’s a word for people like you, it’s not “patriot.” It’s “traitor”.

Radford: The powers that be have no use for a traitor. So when they find their terrorist, and they will find their terrorist, what do you think will happen to me? [Fallon shrugs] Well, let me tell you, because I know them, I know how they think. I will become a footnote in one of your files, buried so far back no one will ever find it, because anything more would be an inconvenience to their self-serving, rabble-rousing narrative.

[After the failed interrogation]

Fallon: We needed him to break, I saw an opening, I took it.

Beckett: You violated his rights.

Fallon: I can think of probably a dozen federal lawyers that would disagree with that. He was never in any real danger. I removed the bullets from my clip. The gun wasn’t even loaded.

Beckett: Well, mine was.

Fallon: Yeah, well, I was pretty sure you weren’t going to shoot me.

Beckett: You know, next time I wouldn’t be so sure

Beckett: You should have seen his face. Because he stopped, he looked at me, he grabbed all the wires, and then he just yanked them.

[Laughter]

Ryan: All of them?

Castle: I figured one of them had to be the right one...

Montgomery: You know, the Mayor wants to give you guys a medal. I didn’t have the heart to tell him you had no clue what you were doing.

Fallon: ...But thanks to you two, we won’t have to add the murder of innocent New Yorkers to that allegation

Beckett: Well, we were just doing our job. [pause] Actually, I was doing my job - I don’t know what the hell he was doing.

Castle: Hey! [beat] But that’s true.

One Life to Lose [3.18]

Martha: Did you say 1777 21st Street?

Castle: Yeah. There was a murder there. Why?

Martha: Oh, I know that address. That's Gemstar Studios. That's where they film "Temptation Lane".

Castle: The soap opera you used to be on.

Martha: Oh, I hope it's nobody that I know. Maybe I should go with you.

Castle: It’s a crime scene, Mother. For trained professionals

Martha: Richard Castle, you are neither trained nor a professional

Castle: I'll text you with updates.

[Checking Mandy’s alibi with Peter Connelly]

Connelly: Yeah, she showed up at my apartment last night. She was wearing a fur coat.

Beckett: So?

Connelly: Just a fur coat. And I nearly had a heart attack when she let it slip open.

Johnny Dimes: Sarah Cutler was a client. What do you mean, she’s dead?

Castle: She’s dead. Only really has the one meaning.

Beckett: …Maybe Sarah was having an affair.

Castle: Well, that makes perfect sense. Sarah was separated from her husband, Vince. And after long, grueling days at work, she’d go home to a cold, empty apartment. Feeling lonely, betrayed, she seeks comfort in the arms of this mystery man.

Beckett: And she decides that she wants her husband back, so she writes his mistress, Mandy Bronson, off the show in order to save their marriage.

Castle: And her next step would be to get rid of the other man.

Beckett: So maybe the other man didn’t go off quietly into the night.

Ryan: Do you two practice this when we’re not around?

Castle: You know, I can see why she fell for Gloria’s con. Sarah was motherless, childless. She was taking young writers under her wing. She was looking for family.

Beckett: Wow, Castle. That’s a refreshingly down-to-earth theory.

Castle: Just trying to keep you on your toes.

Castle: …Except he has an alibi. Everyone has an alibi.

Beckett: Yeah, well, somebody out there doesn’t, and we are gonna find them.

Castle: [looking at his watch] Maybe we should sleep on it.

[Beckett looks up at him]

Castle: [feigning outrage] Separately. Katherine Beckett, I never…

Law & Murder [3.19]

[Seeing a suspect on surveillance footage giving a coffee to the victim]

Castle: Looks like he makes a killer Cappuccino! [Beckett gives him a glance] Too soon...

[The D.A. is furious about his administrative assistant is being called in without informing him]

Montgomery: You called the D.A.'s personal assitant without informing him?

Beckett: Sir, I'm sorry, I was...

Montgomery: Smart move! Well you see what just happened? He could have called and asked why his assistant was here, but he came in personally.

Beckett: He wanted to stop the interview!

Castle: He's hiding something!

Castle: Ordell Williams was right, it's a consp... [seeing Beckett writing "Conspiracy" on the murder board] ...iracy...

Beckett: I agree. I know, weird...

Castle: Yeah, weird, but ... good, because that's just the tip of the iceberg. Are you ready for the Titanic?

Slice of Death [3.20]

[Seeing the victim’s body in the oven.]

Beckett: Okay. That is really…

Castle: Well done.

Lanie: Another couple of hours, maybe. But luckily for me he’s only half-baked.

[Beckett gives her a look]

Ralph Carbone: You gotta be kidding me!

Nick Jr.: Dad, these are the cops.

Castle: You must be Authentic Nick.

Ralph: The one and only.

Beckett: Nick? I have the proprietor listed as Ralph Carbone.

Ralph: Yeah, that’s me. Everybody calls me Nick.

Beckett: Why?

Ralph: Because that’s what everybody calls me.

Ralph: They’re thieves. They live off of our name. And they’re not even real Nicks. I’m the only real Nick.

Castle: And your real name is Ralph.

Ralph: Exactly.

Beckett: You had a lot of imaginary friends growing up, didn’t you?

Castle: Still do.

Beckett: Castle, never underestimate the power of a woman on a mission.

Castle: No, I don’t. And I have the alimony checks to prove it.

The Dead Pool [3.21]

Montgomery: You really think she (Bridget McManus) could overpower Zack (Zack Lindsey)?

Ryan: Uh, no, but her brothers could. In grand Irish tradition, she has four of them, each over 6 foot, each with his own claim to fame... Assaults...

Castle: Oh.

Ryan: Ag. Assault...

Castle: Bad.

Ryan: A.D.W.,

Castle: Ee.

Ryan: Battery...

Castle: Mm.

Ryan: Assault on a city employee, parking enforcement.

Castle: Doesn't count.

Montgomery: Easy.

Ryan: Dude.

Castle: I... just jokes.

Castle: He wants to learn more about my writing process.

Martha: And by "writing process" you mean your procrastination until the very last second...

Alexis: And then writing out of a desperate panic in a caffeine-induced haze.

Martha: That one?

Castle: No, not that one. [Alexis giggles] The one where I find authenticity by doing hands-on research with the NYPD.

Castle: This place looks like my first apartment. We used to have cockroach races. I wonder if that's how Kafka got the idea?

Beckett: For all we know, Bridget was lying.

Ryan: [Walks in, looking vaguely disheveled] Well, she wasn't lying about her brothers. Talked to all four of them, one Irishman to another... and another. Anyway, they alibied out, they were in New Paults when Zach was killed.

Beckett: All of them? [Ryan nods] For what?

Ryan: [Furtively] They were at a sporting event, of sorts. [Starts to leave]

Beckett: [Stopping him] Which was...?

Ryan: Leprechaun toss. [Esposito smirks] Don't ask! Anyway, the, uh, older brother, he got first place. [Realizes his jacket sleeve is torn] Aww, man!

Castle: Well, the "merits" of Irish culture aside...

Ryan: Hey!

Castle: Sorry. Perhaps this suggests Bridget was telling the truth about our elusive Estonian.

Alex Conrad: Hey, uh, if it's not overstepping, just in the interest of keeping it real, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for the case I'm coming up with for Seriously Dead.

Beckett: [Hands him her card] Why don't you just give me a buzz when the two of you are done.

Conrad: [To Castle] I mean, if it's okay with you.

Castle: [Glares at Beckett] Why wouldn't it be okay?

Beckett: Okay.

Conrad: Okay.

[Cut to Castle at home with Martha and Alexis]

Castle: It's so not okay! After everything I've done for him, he goes and tries to steal my muse!

Alexis: Muse thievery, what's the punishment for that? Five to ten in mythology jail?

Beckett: Yeah, speaking of mentor, I heard that you guys were pretty hard on Conrad last night.

Castle: Hard on him? No, no, it was just a little friendly hazing.

Beckett: To hear him describe it, it sounds like someone was trying to teach him a lesson.

Castle: [Laughs in a forced manner] What? Why would I want to do that?

Beckett: Because you didn't want him to spend time with me?

Castle: That is completely-

Beckett: True?

Castle: [Drops his false humor] Yes. Fine, it's true. I'm jealous. There, I said it. I-I want you all to myself, and to have you spending time with another writer? That upsets me! And if that makes me petty, so be it. Guilty as charged.

Beckett: [Smiles] Actually, I kinda think it's sweet.

Castle: You do?

Beckett: I do. And that's why you don't have to worry about me hanging around with Conrad anymore. From now on I'm a "one writer" girl.

Castle: Thank you.

Beckett: Always.

To Love and Die in L.A. [3.22]

[Castle and Beckett have been caught breaking into a house in L.A.]

Beckett: Are you arresting us?

LAPD Detective Kyle Sieger: Much worse. Somebody wants to have a word with you. [pulls out his phone] You're on speaker sir.

Montgomery: [via phone] Breaking into people's houses, that's your idea of a vacation, Beckett?

Beckett: Sir, I can explain, I was...

Montgomery: No you cannot. What you can do is get your ass on the next flight out.

Castle: Uh, we have a dinner reservation at Sebago, is the morning ok?

Montgomery: Oh this is all a big joke to you, isn't it Castle? But when Beckett is working mall security, I guess following her around isn't going to have quite the same allure. Both of you, come home now.

[after a failed meeting with the killer]

Castle: So what happened? [Beckett stomps up and pokes him hard in the chest] Ow!

Beckett: I was trying to keep him from seeing you, and so I pushed too hard and he made me. He called me green Castle, what the hell were you doing?!

Castle: I saw his phone in the cabana, I thought it was worth the risk.

Beckett: You took his phone?

Castle: No! No, I took a picture of his recent call list.

Beckett: What? Where is it?

Castle: Don't...don't poke me.

Beckett: Poke you? I want to kiss you.

Montgomery: [to Ryan and Esposito] Gentlemen. Where are we with Violet Young?

Esposito: Just got off the phone with her mother. She says she remembers Violet having a roommate who lives near Canal Street.

Ryan: Ya, we're gonna head over there and see if Violet reached out to her.

Montgomery: Well let me know. You heard from Beckett?

Esposito: No sir.

Ryan: Ya, me neither.

Montgomery: She's not answering her cell?

Esposito: Maybe she's airborne.

Ryan: Hmm, that would explain her phone being turned off.

Montgomery: You know, I'm trying to decide who is the worse liar...him [Esposito] or you [Ryan]. Go find Violet Young and help Beckett put this thing to bed, alright?

[Beckett is calling Mannis' cell phone, unaware that Ryan and Esposito have already encountered him]

Esposito: [over phone] Yo.

Beckett: Esposito?!

Esposito: Beckett?

Beckett: Are you with Mannis?

Esposito: Ya I just shot him. Why are you calling him?

Beckett: Look, we need to know where and when Gans is selling those bullets.

Esposito: Done. Where's the deal going down?

Mannis : I'm hit, man. Call an ambulance.

Esposito: Oh, my partner's on that.

Ryan: Nine. One. What-- what comes after that one?

Mannis : I'm in pain here, man!

Esposito: It's over, Mannis. You give us the meet location, I'll tell the D.A. in L.A. that you cooperated.

Mannis : Ah!!! Santa Monica pier! Six o'clock! Now call an ambulance!

Ryan: Who shot Royce?

Mannis: It was Ganz.

Esposito: You get that?

Beckett: Yeah, we got it. Thanks. Got to get to Santa Monica pier.

Castle: It's quarter after six now.

Beckett: This is gonna be our last chance to get Ganz.

LAPD Detective Kyle Sieger: Okay, let's roll.

Ganz: You should have stayed out of this, Royce.

Royce: You have no idea the hell that’s about to rain down on you.

Ganz: Scary. [Shoots Royce, killing him]

[After they are left alone in the hotel suite]

Beckett: I’d like to start the investigation.

Castle: We haven’t even ordered room service yet.

Beckett: Castle, I’m not here for room service. I’m here for justice. [Walks past him and out the door.]

Castle: Wow. In L.A. for all of a minute and already she’s sprouting cheesy movie dialogue. Must be something in the air.

[After meeting with Gene Simmons]

Castle: This is so weird.

Beckett: What?

Castle: I’ve dressed up as him for Halloween.

Beckett: [scratching the back of her head] I did, too.

[After Montgomery orders Beckett to return to New York]

Castle: Would Montgomery really fire you?

Beckett: Yeah.

Castle: So we’re going back to New York.

Beckett: Hell no.

Esposito: [via phone] What’s up, girl? How’s the weather in your world?

Beckett: Sunny, chance of ass-kicking.

Castle: You know what I thought when I first met you?

Beckett: Hm?

Castle: That you were a mystery I was never going to solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed at the depth of your strength and your heart... and your hotness.

Beckett: You're not so bad yourself, Castle.

[After shooting Ganz in the leg and cornering him under the beach walkway]

Ganz: I knew you were a cop.

Beckett: My name is Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. Michael Royce was my friend. You shot him and left him in an alley like a piece of garbage. Consider this poetic justice.

Ganz: He said something about hell raining down on me. I never imagined hell looked like you.

[Beckett reading Royce’s last words in his letter to her]'

Royce: “And now for the hard part, kid. It’s clear that you and Castle have something real. And you’re fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we’re alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, ‘if only’”.

[Beckett glances over at a sleeping Castle]

Pretty Dead [3.23]

Montgomery: It’s my 30th anniversary

Beckett: Oh, sir, congratulations.

Castle: Thirty years of marriage and you don’t know what to buy her?

Montgomery: If you stayed married long enough, you’d know it’s hard to stay original after the first 10.

Castle: That’s fair.

Castle: Still no luck on the gift?

Montgomery: I keep coming up empty.

Castle: The best thing to give a woman is something she said she wanted when she didn’t think you were listening.

Montgomery: What if I wasn’t listening?

Castle: Gift certificate?

Beckett: Bad boyfriends and pageant queens? This is like Debbie Winnekar all over again.

Castle: You having flashbacks?

Beckett: It was my own private Vietnam. Our place smelled of hairspray, perfume and cigarettes. I’m surprised that we didn’t spontaneously combust.

Castle: I love the smell of hairspray in the morning. Smells like…victory.

[Speaking to Alexis about the possibility of a long-distance relationship with Ashley]

Castle: I think that nothing is certain. And that you could be ending something that might’ve worked if you’d just given it a little more time.

Alexis: What if I’m just cutting my losses on something that was never meant to be?

Castle: Then we can be the father-daughter version of Grey Gardens. Life is a journey. And there is no predicting the outcome. The only thing you can control are your choices. And they’ll… They’ll define who you are. I would just hate to see you so focused on the problem right in front of you that you completely miss the entire picture.

[After the killer, Justin, attempts to flee and crashes into a clothing rack]

Castle: A word of advice, Justin. When the lady says stop… Stop.

[Beckett smiles]

Beckett: Justin confessed to everything. His last three clients were losers. Amber was supposed to be his comeback and, if she didn't win, he was through. And, apparently, he found the same naked photos that we did and thought that her ex-boyfriend was trying to exploit her.

Castle: He was worried if they called the cops that her secret would get out and they'd both be ruined. So, he decided to handle it on his own. Unfortunately, Jeremy was drunk, he got violent, and Justin ended up killing him.

Beckett: And he staged it like it was a suicide. Once Amber found out, she threatened to turn him in and he killed her.

Montgomery: That's a whole pageant of bad choices. Good work you two.

[Ryan and Esposito clear their throats in the background.]

Montgomery: Uh, good work, you all.

Esposito: Thank you.

Castle: Mmm, I see a beauty queen worthy of a crown.

Evelyn: Always the charmer, Rick.

Montgomery: Hey, what you doing here? You know I was just coming to swoop you up.

Evelyn: Yeah, well, I know how you lose all sense of time when you're working. I figured I'd meet you here.

Montgomery: Mm-hmm.

Beckett: Do you guys have any big plans?

Evelyn: Dinner and dancing with the best husband in Manhattan. Especially since he gave me that gift this morning.

Castle: Oh, what did you end up giving her?

Montgomery: I followed your advice, Castle. I thought about some of the things Evelyn said she wanted the past couple of years. And my gift to her is next year I'm retiring from the force.

Evelyn: We're going to go traveling. We're going to go to all of the romantic places.

Ryan: Wait, you serious, Boss?

Esposito: You really want to retire?

Montgomery: I haven't accomplished everything I wanted to on the job, but I've done enough. It's time for me to move on.

Evelyn: Best gift ever. More Roy.

[The Montgomerys kiss.]

[After Montgomery tell the team he plans on retiring next year]

Montgomery: Mm-hmm. Look, I taught you guys everything I know about doing this job, alright? You're going to be fine without me And for crying out loud, lose the long faces. Smile please? That’s an order.

[All laugh]

Montgomery: Hey, you kids take care, alright? You guys behave now.

Esposito: You have a good time.

Beckett: Congratulations you guys. Goodnight.

Montgomery: Thank you.

Evelyn: Bye.

Castle: Happy anniversary.

Montgomery: Goodnight.

Ryan: Goodnight, Captain. [Turns To Castle] What the hell did you say to him?

Castle: Nothing. No, I-- I just told him to listen to what his wife wanted.

Esposito: Damn, Castle.

Castle: How can you think-- I didn't-- There's no way--

Beckett: Castle, let me let you in on a little secret. Captain Montgomery retires all the time, just give it a week or two. He's like the Brett Favre of the NYPD. Trust me. He's not going anywhere.

Castle: Not going anywhere.

Castle: Ashley. What are you doing here?

Ashley: Hey, Mr. Castle.

Alexis: Hey, Dad, guess what?

Castle: [Smiling] What?

Alexis: I’m going to Stanford.

Castle: [Blinks in confusion] What?

Alexis: I’m applying for early admission. And since I’ve been taking extra classes each semester since my freshman year, I have enough credits to graduate in the fall.

Castle: [Sitting down, stunned] …What?

Alexis: Yeah. This way, Ash and I will be together in January, in college!

Castle: [In greater confusion] What?

Ashley: That was actually her idea, sir.

Castle: [In disbelief] What?

Knockout [3.24]

[At Lockwood’s arraignment after he killed McCallister]

Beckett: I don’t know what you think you accomplished, but this doesn’t change a thing. You hear me? Whoever hired you, he can’t hide from me.

Lockwood: No, sweetheart. You’ve got it ass-backwards. You can’t hide from him.

Beckett: So this third cop wasn’t Lockwood’s target. His third cop was the one who was holding Lockwood’s leash. He’s the one who’s behind this whole thing. Okay, I want us to pull reports with Raglan and McCallister’s name on it.

Ryan: We did all that already.

Esposito: Months ago. There’s nothing.

Beckett: No, no, no. I’m not talking about arrest reports. I’m talking about performance evaluations…

Esposito: We went through everything. We looked at every cop we could find who could have worked with them. None of them were our third guy.

Beckett: [Angrily] Well, then check it again. And when you’re done with that, check it again.

Ryan: Beckett, we want him as bad as you.

Beckett: The hell you do! Nobody wants him as bad as I do, okay? Nobody. So check it again!

[When Castle tells Montgomery his concerns about Beckett]

Montgomery: Castle, did Beckett ever tell you how we met?

Castle: No.

Montgomery: I was working late one night, went down to archives to locate some old reports, and there she was with a flashlight and a bankers box open on her lap, studying this unsolved. She was a patrol cop then, she wasn’t even authorized to be down there. When I asked her what the hell she was doing, she told me this was her mother’s case. And she’d found some things that didn’t add up. Now, I could’ve written her up right then.

Castle: Why didn’t you?

Montgomery: Because I knew it wouldn’t stop her. It was there in her eyes, man. And I thought, “With this kid’s tenacity and some training, I mean, she’d make a hell of a Homicide.”

Castle: That tenacity’s gonna get her killed.

Montgomery: I cannot make Beckett stand down, Castle. I never could. And the way I figure, the only one who can is you.

Beckett: Castle, if you’ve got something to say, just please say it.

Castle: Beckett, everyone associated with this case is dead. Everyone. First your mom and her colleagues, then Raglan, then McCallister. You know they’re coming for you next.

Beckett: Captain Montgomery’s got a protective detail on me. [Walks toward the window] Wasn’t that hard to spot.

Castle: That’s not going to be enough to stop Lockwood, you know that. Think about what they’re up against. Professional killers? I’ve been working with you for three years, you know me. I’m the guy who says we can move that rubber tree plant, but you know what, Beckett? I don’t think we’re gonna win this.

Beckett: [Voice rising] Castle, they killed my mother. What do you want me to do here?

Castle: Walk away.

[Beckett in disbelief at his words]

Castle: They’re going to kill you, Kate. If you don’t care about that, at least think about how that’s going to affect the people that love you. You really want to put your dad through that? And what about Josh?

Beckett: And what about you, Rick?

Castle: Well, of course I don’t want anything to happen to you. I’m your partner. I’m your friend.

Beckett: Is that what we are?

Castle: [Anger rising in his voice] All right, you know what? I don’t know what we are. We kiss, and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other’s arms, but we never talk about it. So, no, I got no clue what we are. I know I don’t want to see you throw your life away.

Beckett: Yeah, well, last time I checked, it was my life, not your personal jungle gym. And for the past three years, I have been running around with the school’s funniest kid. [walks past him] And it’s not enough.

Castle: You know what? This isn’t about your mother’s case anymore. This is about you needing a place to hide

[Beckett stops and turns to him]

Castle: Because you’ve been chasing this thing so long, you’re afraid to find out who you are without it.

Beckett: [Yelling] You don’t know me, Castle. You think you do, but you don’t.

Castle: [Moving toward her] I know you crawled inside your mother’s murder and didn’t come out. I know you hide there. The same way you hide in these nowhere relationships with men you don’t love. You could be happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy. But you’re afraid.

Beckett: You know what we are, Castle? We are over. Now get out.

Montgomery: We speak for the dead. That’s the job. We are all they’ve got once the wicked rob them of their voices. We owe them that. But we don’t owe them our lives.

Beckett: He [Castle] said that we can’t win this.

Montgomery: He’s right. I’ve spent most of my life walking behind this badge, and I can tell you this for a fact. There are no victories. There’s only the battle. And the best that you could hope for is that you find some place where you can make your stand. If this is your spot, I will stand with you.

Lockwood: [To Montgomery] Look at it this way, if you and Raglan and McCallister hadn’t sinned so spectacularly, then God wouldn’t have sent a punishment like me.

Montgomery: This is my spot, Kate. This is where I stand.

[After Beckett is shot]

Castle: Kate… I love you. I love you, Kate.