My Man (Tamar Braxton song)

Tamar Braxton wrote "My Man" about her parents' divorce and one of her past relationships.

Tamar Braxton co-wrote "My Man" with Cory Rooney for her fifth studio album Bluebird of Happiness (2017).[1] The song was produced by Bob Robinson Jr.,[1] who had previously worked with Braxton on her eponymous debut album (2000).[2] Braxton based "My Man" on her parents' marriage and their divorce following her father's infidelity.[3][4] While developing the lyrics, she imagined her mother's perspective and sought to convey her emotions "as a woman and not just as [a] mom".[3] She was also inspired by a past relationship that caused her to question her self-worth. According to Braxton, the single was developed and recorded quickly; she explained that it "just rolled out of me".[5]

While promoting "My Man", Braxton identified it as her most personal song due to its content. Calling it a "personal anthem where people can relate if you've been cheated on before", she said that she wanted to be a voice for those who have been hurt.[6] Braxton described the single and overall album as "the first time you see an X-ray vision of Tamar and everything I've been through".[5]

Prior to the song's release, Braxton had played it for her father, whom she told that she had forgiven him for his past affair. Braxton's father was initially flattered that she wrote a song about him, although he did not pay attention to the lyrics.[4] She had also included the track in an episode of the reality television series Braxton Family Values in late April 2017.[5] Entertainment Tonight's Latifah Muhammad said Braxton's frank discussion about her parents' divorce and her current relationship with them are examples of how the Braxton family include "some tough moments on camera for their reality show".[4]

"My Man" was released on April 27, 2017 as the album's lead single,[5][7] which Braxton promoted through an announcement on her Instagram account.[8] The explicit and radio edit versions were released for digital download[7][9] and streaming.[10][11] It is the only song on Bluebird of Happiness to be marked for explicit content.[1] The single was sent to urban radio stations on July 18, 2017.[12] It was the first song Braxton released from her independent record label, which she created in partnership with eOne Entertainment.[5] She left Epic Records, which released three of her albums, to have more control over her career as an independent artist.[13][14] When discussing this switch, she said she was happy about not having to "sell people on things that I want to do".[3] For the release of "My Man", Braxton named her label Tamartian Land, a reference to her fans' nickname as "Tamartians";[5][15] this was changed to Logan Land for Bluebird of Happiness to represent how her son, Logan, is the center of her life.[1][16]

"My Man" is a four-minute, 11-second R&B and soul ballad,[7][17][18] performed in the style of a slow jam and a torch song.[19][20] The instrumentation features a piano and an electric guitar.[21] In an Uproxx article, Elias Leight said the single was an example of how "updates of the Southern soul sound" are being incorporated in R&B music.[17] Leight wrote in the Rolling Stone that "My Man" was a part of a "long line of fraught, theatrical soul ballads".[22] SoulBounce's D-Money characterized the single as having a "slow R&B groove".[21]

The lyrics are about infidelity,[4][19] with a central message that the Los Angeles Times' Mikael Wood summarized as "never trust a lonely woman with the one you love".[23] While writing for Vibe, Da’Shan Smith found the song to be "suspiciously auto-biographical" for Braxton.[24] Media outlets identified the overall tone as sad, specifically when compared to the more upbeat composition of the promotional single "Pick Me Up".[25][26]

In the first verse, Braxton sings the lyrics, “Stood right by your side through everything that you went through…Why is she around?”, to convey the uncertainty felt when a partner has an affair. SoulTracks' Justin Kantor compared her voice to her sister Toni Braxton's "rich low alto".[19] A writer for Rap-Up said that Braxton addresses the "heartache of deception" through these lines.[27] The chorus includes the lyrics: "I don't want to hear no bullshit stories about my man, I just can't believe that you're with her / I just can't believe she stole my man."[27] D-Money wrote that this part is about "the initial denial and eventual acceptance that her man has been stolen by another woman".[21] For the lyrics, “Is this my life? It cuts me like a knife.”, Kantor remarked that Braxton is "belting grittily on the higher end of the scale".[19] Near the end of the song, Braxton refers to the other woman as a "heffa", which media outlets said added to its emotional quality.[19][20][21] Kantor defined it as a "blunt acknowledgement of pain".[19]

"My Man" received a positive response from music critics. Justin Kantor commended Braxton for conveying the song's varying emotions.[19] While praising the single for its relatability, a We TV writer described it as "the next best break-up remedy since ice cream".[8] AllMusic's Andy Kellman selected "My Man" as a highlight from Bluebird of Happiness, writing that album "crest[ed] with the two-timed belter" and its final song "Empty Boxes".[28] In an article about the 60th Annual Grammy Awards nominations, Da’Shan Smith said Braxton's single was snubbed.[24]

"My Man" peaked at number three on the Adult R&B Songs Billboard chart for the week of August 19, 2017, and stayed on the chart for 22 weeks.[29] The song also reached number 21 on the Hot R&B Songs Billboard chart for the week of August 26, 2017.[30] According to the Houston Chronicle, the single was successful on adult R&B stations.[31] However, Elias Leight said while songs like "My Man" are popular on R&B radio, they are never able to crossover to be played on pop radio or in feature films.[17]

The music video for "My Man" was released on June 25, 2017. Filmed in black and white, it depicts Braxton confronting her lover and his mistress over his infidelity.[32][33] After finding her lover's hotel room, Braxton sees him in bed with another woman.[32] She pushes the mistress to the bathroom floor before confronting him, taking back her coat, and leaving the hotel. A writer from Rap-Up believed a future music video would continue the story.[33] A portion of "Blind", the second single from Bluebird of Happiness, was included at the end of the video.[34]

Braxton first performed "My Man" during a show in Houston on May 5, 2017.[35] During the BET Awards 2017 on June 25, 2017, she sang it while accompanied by a group of back-up dancers.[18] These performers were four sets of couples, who were interrupted by the arrival of the men's mistresses.[36] Braxton was also accompanied by a band,[22] but she performed the song without backing vocalists.[37] Wearing a sheer gown and blonde wig, she stood on a raised platform, which was placed before a backdrop resembling a starry sky.[23][36] Throughout the performance, Braxton shook her hair around and bent over while singing the low notes.[23] She pushed away the microphone stand,[22] before ending the song by doing a mic drop and walking off stage.[23][36]

Critics praised the performance as one of the award show's highlights.[38] Mikael Wood and D-Money said that it added energy to the event,[23][36] which was criticized as having technical and pacing issues.[22][23][36] Describing Braxton as a "glorious drama queen", Elias Leight enjoyed her "series of well-honed, highly dramatic gestures"; he wrote that "the force of her stagecraft" kept the attention on her rather than the dancers.[22] In an article for Billboard, Dan Rys praised Braxton's vocals, and highlighted her mic drop as a "fitting exclamation point" to the performance.[39]

Despite this positive response, Twitter users believed Braxton was lip-syncing;[40][41] Michael Arceneaux also thought this, and jokingly asked why she kept "aggressively moving her wig like it was dipped in a fire ant bed before she glued it to her head".[42] In response to these reports, Braxton uploaded an Instagram video in which she was rehearsing the song a cappella prior to the BET performance.[41] During an appearance on the game show Hip Hop Squares, Braxton had an argument with host DeRay Davis when he joked that she had lip-synced for the BET performance.[43][44] Lil Mama, one of the episode's celebrity contestants, had informed Braxton about the joke since she did not hear it the first time.[43] In an interview with the radio show The Breakfast Club, Braxton said she is close friends with Davis, and added that Lil Mama "needs the spirit of the hush sometimes".[45]

Credits adapted from the liner notes of Bluebird of Happiness.[1]

• Songwriting – Tamar Braxton, Cory Rooney
• Production – Bob Robinson Jr.

• "My Man" music video on YouTube
• Lyrics of this song at MetroLyrics