List of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet episodes

Geordies Dennis, Neville & Oz leave Britain to find work as bricklayers in Germany. While meeting the agent for the jobs they meet Barry Taylor, an electrician from Wolverhampton. As they are leaving they meet Wayne Norris a carpenter from London who asks for a lift but they say no. Later, Oz's car breaks down on the autobahn and Wayne passes them in a lorry and mimics the way they turned him down for a lift. Arriving late to the site Dennis, Neville & Oz discover there are no more places at the hostel so they have to stay on the site in the hut. On the way to the hut they meet Bomber, a gentle giant of a brickie from the West Country. Barry arrives on his BSA motorbike.

Neville pesters Dennis to help him out in regards to him pretending to be a carpenter. Meanwhile Dennis receives a letter from his wife's solicitor about their divorce. After speaking with Herr Ulrich, Neville gets laid off. While playing football on his own Neville discovers an unexploded bomb and becomes a hero on the site. Neville befriends Helmut, a German working on the site, and meets his family at their home for dinner. Barry begins his quest for a leader in the hut.

Herr Pfister (the agent who hired the Brits) is late with the wages. We are introduced to the hardcase Magowan for the first time. Dennis & Oz take a trip to Liége to watch Sunderland A.F.C. even though they are Newcastle United F.C. fans. Oz's wife Marjorie meets Dennis's wife Vera as she has not heard from Oz in a month. Oz receives a letter from his wife, Marjorie. He sends it back marked 'not known at this address' to avoid sending her any money.

Dennis has to go back to England to sort out his divorce, Neville decides to tag along with him. Oz has a near miss with a German worker who falls off the scaffolding. Back in Newcastle Dennis goes to Vera's solicitor and Neville has to be evasive about the bandage on his arm which is covering up his "Lotte" tattoo. Dennis & Neville return and head straight to a new bar Wayne has found. Neville shares a cab with a German woman who imposes herself on him. He walks her back to her apartment then goes back to the site. The following morning all the British workers are rounded up for an ID parade, the girl Neville escorted home steps out of the police car, with her face all bruised and points out Neville. Neville is arrested. Dennis goes to the police station with Dagmar and they need 3000 Deutschmarks for bail. Bomber & Dennis are confronted by a group of German workers headed by Neville's friend Helmut. They agree to chip in for Neville's bail. Oz is asked to take a call from England in the site manager’s hut. It is Brenda, Neville's wife, she is worried as Neville did not call her as usual on Monday night. Oz tells her what has happened. She says she is coming over. Dennis meets the lawyer who says it won't go to court as the girl’s story "has many holes". A very emotional Neville returns to the site with Dennis & Helmut in a taxi, tearfully he says "I never thought I'd miss Oz" Back in the hut the lads mull things over and Neville remembers the girl had a boyfriend. And Barry recalls them "having a ding dong" (a row). Helmut says he'll go look for them, Bomber & Barry go with him to identify them. Dennis tells Neville that Brenda is on the way. The next day Dennis asks Dagmar to meet Brenda at the airport, she drops Brenda off at the hotel. Dennis meets her there and fills her in on the story. They go and meet Neville at the police station, as they get there the police bring in the girl accusing Neville.

It is the weekend again and Neville’s at a loose end. He asks Oz where Dennis is and Oz saw him leave early in the morning with some swimming gear. Neville coaxes Oz into going swimming and they see Dennis and Dagmar there. Dennis makes an excuse up that it is a coincidence. Wayne tries to teach Barry his technique with the ladies, Barry tries to chat up two women at a bar in the town with the line, "Would you like to come back to our hut?". On the way back, Barry and Wayne see some Swedish air hostesses in a taxi. They follow them to a hotel but get covered in mud due to Barry's shortcut. They rush back to the hut to get changed. Oz decides to stitch them up by playing a prank on them. He calls the Intercontinental Hotel and leaves the message for Wayne to come up to room 612. Wayne & Barry go up to the room but are followed by the manager of the hotel. They bump into Dennis who gives them refuge from the manager. They then start to surmise that Dennis is meeting a woman there and suggest it is Dagmar. This annoys Dennis and he kicks them out. They go to room 612 but instead of the Swedish air hostesses, it is occupied by a German couple who think that the two lads are muggers. Wayne & Barry make a sharp exit and are chased by the manager. They climb out of a window and jump off a roof. Dennis then has to spend an hour in the managers office explaining who Barry & Wayne were, thus ruining his weekend with Dagmar.

It is Saturday morning and Neville is annoyed that no one else is up, as they all agreed to go fishing over Friday night’s drinking session. Barry decides to grow a beard. After some nagging the rest of the lads agree to go. Except Oz and Wayne, Oz seems offended that the rest of the lads want some time away from him. Wayne goes off for the weekend with a woman from the local post office. While on the journey the lads come across a hitchhiker Colin, played by Ray Winstone. He says he is a student but is very vague about where he is going and such. They reach their destination and bid Colin farewell. Barry joins them after arriving on his motorbike. The barman spots someone trying to steal Barry's motorbike. Meanwhile back at the site the vandals are back. On the way home from the local bar, where Oz has spent the evening on his own, Oz chases the vandals. He doesn't catch them but he ends up getting his suit covered in paint. In the morning the lads are walking to the fishing spot when they bump into Colin who has been sleeping rough. Dennis gives him his room key and tells him to get a bath and a hot meal. When the lads take a break from fishing the lads get to talking about Colin. Barry says Dennis's trust maybe misplaced, and they think that Colin might be stealing from them, they rush back to the hotel but all is well. Oz confides in Wayne that he is thinking of going back home as he thinks the rest of the lads are always having ago at him. Back at the hotel the persuade Colin to come back to the site with them for a labourers job. Back on the site Colin runs off when he sees the police on the site investigating the vandals. Wayne goes through his things and finds his army ID. The lads conclude that he is a deserter. On the way back from the bar, Moxey and Barry see someone sneaking into the site. Barry goes off to get the rest of the lads. They all surround the supply hut but the person escapes out of another hut. The lads catch up with him and it turns out to be Colin. Meanwhile Barry is picked up by the police. Back in the hut Colin opens up about why he is AWOL. The lads persuade him to return.

Sunday morning and Dennis, Neville & Barry are at the swimming baths and Neville thinks the lads in the hut should get a sports team together. Wayne & Moxey are visited by Herr Grunwald who says there is a problem with a British worker and asks to see Dennis "as he's your leader". Wayne passes on the message from Grunwald that if they don't sort it out they can all leave. Dennis & Neville go and bail out Magowan (Michael Elphick). Neville gets a letter from Colin the army deserter form the previous episode, he is coming over with a few mates for a darts match. Oz bumps into Magowan in the local bar, he tells Oz he has been kicked out of the Hostel. Oz brings him back to the hut, much to the dismay of the rest of the lads. The lads decide who will be in the darts team by having eliminators to find out the best four players. All the lads want Magowan out but haven't got the bottle to tell him as Magowan has a history of violence. The Lads get the booze ready for the Darts match against the army. Neville asks Magowan for his share of the bail money and Magowan beats him up. Neville has gone and the lads think he has been going to an adult cinema. So all the lads go to the cinema, with all the commotion they spot Herr Grumwald in the cinema. Meanwhile Neville has been having guitar lessons next door to the cinema.

Barry is getting frustrated about the state of the hut. Oz accompanies Wayne to an up market bar where Wayne has set up two women. They come up with the story that Oz is the heir to his fathers building empire. Oz finds love with a tasty German girl by the name of Uli. But it turns out he is not the only one being dishonest. Meanwhile Barry comes up with an idea to make the hut more homely. They all decide to steal some paint from the site to decorate the hut. Bomber goes off to a massage parlour with "one of the Erics" and finds out that Oz's girlfriend Uli is the head girl there. Dennis tells Oz about Uli. He confronts her at the massage parlour, the boss is also Uli's boyfriend and he beats her. Later on her boyfriend chases Oz around the site. The Turks who Oz has always bad mouthed, save Oz as they tell the boyfriend he is a pufta.

Oz & Barry have overslept. Barry can't find his sock and Oz has had an erotic dream about a woman called Yvette. There is a new girl working in the office with Dagmar, Wayne says she is his as he saw her first. Dennis strings the lads on by saying her name is Yvette, the girl in Oz's dream. Oz believes it is fate or kismet as Barry says. Dennis receives a letter from Vera saying she is coming over. Dennis & Bomber are coming back to the hut from the bar when they see a rat. All the rest of the lads have been eating Brenda's sisters chocolate cake. Dennis and Bomber turn it down and tell the lads about what they have just seen. The next morning Barry is convinced they all need shots for rabies. Dennis meets Vera at the airport. That evening she introduces her to Dagmar. Later Vera tells Dennis she doesn't want a divorce anymore. Oz has bought "Yvette" some flowers, only to find out her name is Christa. Wayne buys the flowers off Oz and gives them to Christa who he has fallen for. She asks to see the hut where the live and is scared by the rat. Oz barges in hearing the girl scream thinking Wayne is ravishing her. Neville and Barry have bought some rat traps and some poison that makes rats very thirsty.

It is a decision time for the lads. A change in German law means they have to either register with the authorities and pay tax or go back to England. Oz doesn't want to go back to England but doesn't like the idea of staying in Germany on his own. So he goes around the lads trying to persuade some of them to stay. Neville & Bomber are certain they are returning home. Wayne is set on staying as he has fallen for Christa, for whom he makes a plaque out of a piece of skirting board, much to the amusement of Barry & Moxey. Dennis is torn between Dagmar & his wife Vera. He decides to go out to the town to get drunk away from everyone else. He bumps into Magowan then some Germans from the site start trouble with Dennis and a fight insuses. Oz has followed Dennis and jumps in when it kicks off. Oz is slashed by a glass and is in hospital after a blood transfusion. Oz can't believe he has got German blood in him so Dennis makes up the story that Neville gave him 4 pints of his blood. Dennis has a heart to heart with Dagmar and decides to go back to England. Barry has decided to go to Saudi Arabia and he brings his motorbike into the hut to service it. Wayne is not happy as he is the only one stopping on. The lads have a "topping off" ceremony on the last day then go over to the bar. Dennis spends the last night at Dagmar's house for drinks. The lads return from the bar and Barry & Wayne smell petrol in the hut from Barry's bike, Wayne drops his cigarette and this set the hut on fire. Neville is panicking as all the passports, money and belongings are still in the hut. Neville knocks on Dagmar's door and explains what has happened, he is invited in and all the lads follow.

After a recap of the end of series one, we see Neville on a building site being called away as Brenda his wife is giving birth. Moxey is on the run, Bomber is seen wrestling, Wayne is driving a red 1977 BMW, Dennis is drinking in a casino and Barry and Oz are in the Falklands. Two years later, Neville's looking for work on a building site, on the way home he meets Dennis at the traffic lights. Dennis is driving a Jaguar. Dennis drops his boss crook/gangster Ally Fraser off at the airport with his girlfriend Vicky for their villa in Marbella. Neville meets his wife Brenda who is now a nurse with their child Deborah and he his a little wary about her playing mixed doubles with the doctors. Barry is struggling to get his house ready in time for after his wedding to girlfriend Hazel. He has an apprentice called Trevor, who prefers to be called Trev. While reminiscing about the lads in Germany he has the idea to call them up to help with the house. Neville calls a hungover Dennis and they meet up in a bar and talk about Barry's request but Dennis doesn't fancy going down to Wolverhampton to fix up his house. Dennis changes his mind as Ally's away for 3 weeks in Spain so they decide to go down in Ally's jag, once Neville's got the ok from Brenda. Moxey's in an open prison plastering with another inmate. Oz gets strip searched at customs. Wayne calls Barry from a café on the M1 and agrees to give two students a lift.

Barry is fretting about being breathalysed, Wayne has found a Motel so he goes off there with the two student hitchhikers, Bomber and Dennis go with him. Norma, Dennis's sister, calls in the morning and tells Neville about Ally Fraser coming back early. So Dennis has to go back to Newcastle. The two girls Wayne was with have left him the bill at the motel reception. Barry goes off to find Hazel and gets mistaken for a computer salesman at a conference. Hazel has gone round to the house and tells the lads they've knocked down the wrong wall. Dennis is in trouble with Ally so he goes home, Norma tells him some right bruiser has been looking for him, it turns out it is Oz. Oz finds out Dennis is working for Ally Fraser and goes with Dennis to meet him in case of any trouble. After a row with Ally, Dennis reveals he was helping Barry fix up his house, this gives Ally an idea to fix up a house he is buying from fellow Ex-pat criminal Kenny Ames. Oz follows big Baz (one of Ally's heavies) into his office thinking Dennis is in trouble. He "chins" Big Baz but he was only going to get some food for Ally and Dennis. Back at the house Barry returns to the house and the lads tell him Hazel's been round and Wayne took her home. At Hazel's she has a heart to heart with Wayne, and Wayne reveals he has split from his wife in Germany, Christa, the typist from the site from series one.

The lads are on their way to Ally's house. They stop off at a service station where they discuss who each of them are in regards to The Magnificent Seven. Ally arrives at the house then meets Kenny Ames's solicitor at a local hotel called the Cross Keys. The lads turn up the house "Thornely Manor". Oz breaks in around the back with Moxey but they are spotted by a local who calls the police. The lads turn up at the local village pub, the Barley Mow, run by landlord Arthur Pringle. On the way back Moxey sees a police car and runs off. When scouting for a bed and breakfast, Dennis picks the Barley Mow and the lads ask him to check the landlord as he didn't like the lads who were in the pub earlier. The following morning the lads make a start on the house and discover Moxey has slept there overnight. There are two plain-clothed policemen in the Barley Mow asking Dennis questions about the house, so he lets Ally know, who advises the lads to start smashing the place up to show that it is undervalued, as the Fraud Squad think a back hand deal has been done with Kenny Ames who is in exile in Spain. Mrs. Bellamy, the local who called the police on them earlier, makes the lads stop work as Thornely Manor is a listed building.

Dennis makes a call to Ally to inform him about Thornely Manor being a listed building. Moxey in a transport café hitchhiking and a truck driver offers him a lift. Ally is on the golf course in Spain with Kenny and is very annoyed as he thinks Kenny didn't inform him of this before the sale, Kenny persuades him to turn it into an old folk’s home, which would avoid the issues with the house being a listed building. The lads are playing football in the car park of the Barley Mow when an attractive woman, by the name of Carol, arrives. Wayne helps her with her bags and it turns out to be Arthur Pringle's daughter. Dennis's sister, Norma, arrives at the Cross Keys. While enjoying a meal together, the lads show up in the bar. Oz has a row with the upper-class drinkers. The next day Neville is asked by a local land owner to take a look at a barn he wants converting. Barry and Oz go for a drive, then Oz decides to poach some trout but they are almost caught by a gamekeeper but they manage to drive off. In the local town Oz and Barry are in a local café and the gamekeeper has followed them. Oz hides the fish in a woman's coat and they are about to get away with it until in the car park the woman puts her hand in her pockets. The landowner that Neville is working for is called into the police station about the poachers. Neville has a word with him and he agrees to drop any charges.

After being kicked out of the Barley Mow the lads can't get any new accommodation as it seems Arthur Pringle has put the word about. Barry suggests they kip in the mansion and when Wayne tries to comment they shout him down. Moxey tells the lads he hass changed his name to Brendon Mulcahy, or Brendan Mulachy as he claims because he can't pronounce Mulcahy properly. Ally is with Kenny in Spain and is annoyed about the delay with the building work. They agree on the idea of turning Thornely Manor into an old people's home. Oz, Neville, Moxey, Barry go to the supermarket to stock up on food, beer and toilet paper. The lads are at a loose end and Barry suggests brass rubbing but the lads try the Barley Mow. While brass rubbing Barry meets the local vicar who tells him about the ghost at Thornely Manor. Barry can't sleep due to the thought of the ghost, he goes to the toilet and sees what he thinks is a ghost. Ally speaks to the architect who gives him 3 different coatings for the building work and Ally picks the cheapest one.

The architect meets Dennis and tells him Ally wants the cheaper option on the re-build. This doesn't go down very well with him as he sees this as a cowboy job. The following night the lads return from the pub and there are lights on in the house and someone has been in the house. Harry the plumber joins the lads who is a big country and western fan and he invites the lads to his local pub that put on a country and western night. Ally comes up with a plan to buy ex-pats homes for quick cash due to a rumour that Spain will be extraditing all British criminals. Neville goes home for the weekend and Dennis's sister Norma tells Nev about Dennis's debt will Ally Fraser. Upon returning to the Manor, Neville asks Dennis about this and he reveals he owes him six grand. At the country and western bar Wayne pulls a woman and Oz gets up to sing and to the astonishment of the other lads he is very good. When the lads return the "ghost" has been caught by Oz with super glue on the fridge. It turns out it is a tramp.

In this episode the lads go to the Barley Mow to celebrate their victory over Ally's thugs and Wayne lets slip that he didn't pay the import tax on his German registered BMW, unaware that Arthur is listening. Ally works out a compromise on the building costs and goes for the middle option and also agrees to wipe the slate clean on Dennis's debt if he can get the lads to work on his next project in Spain. He tells the lads about the Spanish job and they are all up for it. Wayne sees someone looking over his car and it is an officer from Customs and Excise who impounds the car, with a bill of £800. It is pay day and Wayne, Oz, Bomber and Moxey are going out on the pull. They get all dressed up then realise they don't have a car. So they end up going to the Barley Mow where Oz chats up a mature lady who asks him to do some work on her garage. Dennis and Neville have gone back to Newcastle for the weekend, Dennis tells his sister Norma about the debt with Ally. Oz goes to the mature lady's house to work on her garage but it turns out she does want any work done on her garage, instead she wants him for sex. Oz returns to the lads in the afternoon and regales them with the story. The job is finished and Ally turns up with bonus money and booze for the lads. Oz goes off with Wayne to get his car back and Oz realises the customs man's wife is the mature woman which he has just had sex. While he waits for a receipt Wayne finds out it was Arthur Pringle the landlord of the Barley Mow who "shopped" him.

Dennis, Oz and Neville all return to Newcastle after the job and bring Bomber, Wayne, Moxey and Barry with them awaiting the Spanish job. Oz returns to his old address with Moxey and finds someone else living there. They turn up at Dennis's sister's doorstep and they kip in her living room. Oz meets his son at school and Rod tells him that they are moving to Italy with his mother's Italian boyfriend, Sandro. Oz meets his wife Marjorie and they row about moving to Italy. Wayne is stopping with Neville and Brenda. While Neville is out Wayne has a chat with Brenda and tells her about his wife Christa back in Germany, who is pregnant but doesn't want him back. Barry arrives on Tyneside and turns up at Oz's old flat to the annoyance of the occupant. Neville takes the phone off the hook so he and Brenda can have "an early night" while Wayne is out for the night. However Barry turns up after phoning Dennis as he can't get through to Neville. Barry keeps Brenda up that night chatting about his situation with his fiancée Hazel.

The lads are waiting to fly so they a do a bit of clothes shopping. While in the departure lounge Dennis gets a call from Ally and things have been delayed. Ally invites the lads around to his house for some hospitality due to the delay in plans. The night before they go to one of Ally's clubs and Oz pulls a woman whose boyfriend turns up and sees Moxey chatting to her. He gets the wrong end of the stick and starts a fight with Moxey and Oz saves the day. Moxey runs off again as there was a copper in the club. Wayne and Barry are in a Chinese restaurant and Wayne tells him about splitting up with his wife Christa. The night they go to Ally's house and Neville is miffed as Dennis has brought his girlfriend and he told Neville no wives. Wayne flirts with Ally's girlfriend Vicki, and Ally sees it. Ally tells them the good news that they are going on Saturday but with one hitch, they must go as tourists due to them not having Spanish work permits. Because they are short handed due to Moxey doing another runner, Ally suggests a man he knows who owes him from his casino. While the lads are having a final drink the extra guy turns up, it turns out to be the angry boyfriend from the nightclub. The lads are on a downer because of the extra bloke, then Moxey returns and the lads raise their glasses to him.

The lads touchdown in Spain and go looking for some action but because it is not holiday season, they find it almost deserted. So they end up back at the hotel with the old folks. The next day they go off to Ally's villa, no one is in, so they decide to go skinny dipping in the pool (except for Bomber who can't swim, but Oz pushes him in the pool anyway). It turns out to be the wrong house as the real owners show up to discover seven naked men in their pool. They get to Ally's house and begin work on the pool, meanwhile the old couple report them to the local police, and the local police make a call at Ally's. The police inspector is on the payroll of a British journalist, Nick Wheeler, who chats to them in the hotel. He thinks he has the "Sheffield Payroll" gang. The journalist meets with Kenny Ames and asks him about them. Kenny turns up at Ally's and meets the lads. He invites them to his yacht and the journalist has a photographer with him who takes pictures of the lads on board Kenny's yacht.

Ally has given the lads two days off work to reinforce the impression that they are just tourists. But five of them are heckled on the beach by two men who claim that they are aware they aren't villains, and want to clear the air. The lads are in no mood to listen, feeling they've had enough grief already. The same men talk to Dennis and Neville (who are staying at the villa) that night, Dennis tells them that they are all on a special reunion after Germany. The next day, the lads who are staying at the hotel all ponder what to do, Barry suggest hiring two cars and head to Gibraltar, they all agree. But this turns sour when Barry gets clamped.

This last episode has an introduction by Tim Healy, (Dennis) about the death of Gary Holton, (Wayne) and the episode is dedicated to his memory.

Barry stops Hazel from phoning home about the wedding then he worries about who he’ll ask to be best man. Oz, Bomber and Moxey are in hotel bar talking about the lottery and Oz says he’d get Moxey a new face due to him being a fugitive from the law. Oz then gets a call from Vicki as she’s lonely, Ally walks in mid phone call and then they have a row about staying in Spain. Ally and Kenny discuss a contact of Kenny’s who’ll ship Ally and his money from his bank in Switzerland, from Tangiers to Spain, and then he’ll meet up with the Wedding party on Kenny’s yacht. During this conversation between Ally and Kenny, Kenny gets a call from Hazel saying the wedding is off again. Ally meets up with Barry and persuades him to go ahead with the wedding. On his return to the villa, Vicki tells Ally she won’t be there when he gets back from Switzerland. They have a big argument and Ally slashes all her designer wardrobe.

Ally tells Dennis he’s away for a couple of days. Dennis tells him he’ll keep the money that Ally tried to get him to smuggle into Spain, if anything happens to him or his ex-wife or kids, the lads will all come back for revenge. Oz Goes to see Vicki and sees what ally has done to the flat and her clothes and wants to smash his face in. Dennis stops him and tells him and Neville, that he has Ally over a barrel with his money. They finally finish the job at Ally’s villa and to celebrate they all jump into the pool. Barry decides to pick all 6 as best men for the wedding.

Oz is with Vicki in the apartment when the police arrive asking about the whereabouts of Senõr Fraser. While there the lottery is drawn and the police check their numbers, and so does Oz. It turns out that Oz has won 1,000,000 pesetas (about £35,000).

The first episode begins with a Native American meditating over the Grand Canyon he has a vision of The Angel of the North It cuts to Dennis who is driving a minicab for a local drug dealer. Neville is running his own building company and is worried over the tax man. Moxey is working in a nightclub as a cleaner. Barry is driving around in a Bentley. Neville picks up Dennis at the railway station. Bomber is already at Oz's wake in Middlesbrough. Neville & Dennis are waiting for the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge when they see Moxey have a motorcycle accident with the motorcycle ending up in the River Tees. They all meet up, except Wayne, and swap stories. Then Oz turns up, to the outrage of the others. He explains about the death of the old Oz and that the new Oz has a plan. They go off to see the Transporter Bridge and Oz fills them in about the plan to dismantle the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge. Wyman (Noel Clarke) turns up being Wayne's son. He tells the others his dad died of a Congenital Heart Defect. This news shatters the lads but Wyman is welcomed into the group.

Oz goes off to meet Geoffrey Grainger, (Bill Nighy) the former disgraced MP who Oz saved from being gang raped while in jail. He is the head of the Haversham consortium who are regenerating the area around the old Transporter Bridge. He told Oz about this while inside. Oz organizes the labour with a gang master called Yorgo. Moxey is asked by the police to get some dirt on Mickey Startup, the gangster who owns the nightclub he works in. Dennis tells the lads he can't be part of Oz's deal as he has no money. Barry has dinner with Grainger to see if the deal is legit. Barry returns home via his business and discovers Kadi(his brother-in-law) is smuggling cocaine in Ladas.

The lads are at the British embassy in an un-named city in central Africa. The embassy is under siege from locals and the staff are preparing to evacuate. While Oz & Hazel are "shagging" there is an explosion and Oz is injured by some shrapnel in his bum. Four months later he rejoins the lads in Vientiane in Laos. Oz meets Neville & Dennis outside the embassy and notices it is Australian. Dennis explains that they're on secondment. He meets the rest of the lads and apart from Bomber who it is said is still in Arizona with his new family. Moxey has a girlfriend, an Australian called Elena. Barry has a heart to heart with Oz and reveals he has reconsilded with his ex-wife Tatiana. He has booked them in on the Eastern and Oriental Express. Dennis reads out a letter he received from Bomber to the lads. He says he will not be re-joining them. Then Moxey tells them he is going to emigrate to Australia with his girlfriend. Neville books himself on the orient express to go with Barry, then Barry reveals to the rest of the lads his reconciliation with Tatiana. As a farewell from the Australian embassy, the Aussies take on the Brits in a drinking darts game. Barry meets up with his ex-wife who reveals she is pregnant. The rest of the lads wonder off into Bangkok. Barry meets Neville at the station for the orient express, he tells Neville about Tatiana being pregnant. On the train they bump into Tarquin Pearce from the Cuban embassy. Oz, Dennis, Moxey and Wyman are in a sports bar and it hits Oz that the lads are history as everyone wants to go their own way. On the train Tarquin has dinner with Barry, Tatiana & Neville and explains he is developing a high class hotel but he has a problem with some local bandits.

The lads get a call from Neville and he tells them that Barry has been kidnapped. Tatiana gets in a taxi to go to a drug store but is taken to the kidnapper’s middle man. They want £50,000. The lads go to the police with Tarquin. Tatiana returns to meet the lads & Tarquin and she gets a call from the kidnappers. While shopping in a market Moxey & Wyman are approached by a man who works with the kidnappers. He offers to take then to Barry for £550, they agree and head off into the jungle. The lads travel through the jungle by land rover then by elephant. Tarquin meets the kidnapper’s middle man who he is working with. In the morning the lads are grabbed by the kidnappers and taken to the camp, where all the lads are thrown into another hut! Oz & Dennis break out of their hut and find Barry in another hut stoned on opium. They are both caught and tortured. Dennis comes up with a plan after the lads are talking about prisoner of war films. Dennis speaks to Two Dragons (the leader of the bandits) and offers to build a wash house for the villagers. Barry joins them in their hut. While building the wash house Neville sees an opportunity to pinch a satellite phone that the kidnappers are using. The only person they could phone is Neville's wife Brenda. Nev gets her to call the OED for them to speak to the British consulate in Chiang Mai. The lads have a fight to create a diversion so Wyman can get the phone back. As he puts it back there is a text message from Tarquin and the lads realise that he has set them up. The Australians who the lads worked for in Laos come and rescue them, Oz uses the opportunity to knock out Two Dragons, the leader of the kidnappers. As they go to leave with the Australians, Dennis says they should finish the wash house as they've never not finished a job. Meanwhile the middle man Tarquin was arranging the kidnapping with takes him hostage. After a final photo we see the lads have gone their separate ways.