Soulmate

The feet of Saint Guénolé (Winwaloe, Guignolé) statue, in a Prigny (Loire-Atlantique) chapel, are pierced with needles by local girls who hope to find their soulmates.

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity.^[1] This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust.^[2]

Historical usages of the concept

Current usage

In current usage, "soulmate" usually refers to a romantic or platonic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond.^[6] This is to say, the word is used with more rarity than other terms associated with 'romantic' or 'platonic' partner. It is a very versatile term, being defined differently by different individuals, as it is related to the concept of love. It commonly holds the connotation of being the strongest bond with another person^[7] that one can achieve. Soulmate is not used as often as other terms representing the same idea, and this is likely to lead to its perceived rarity in meaning. The definition ranges widely and cannot be pinpointed. It is commonly accepted that one will feel 'complete' once they have found their soulmate, as it is partially in the perceived definition that two souls are meant to unite. The term "soulmate" first appeared in the English language in a letter by Samuel Taylor Coleridge in 1822.

Speculated term confusion

According to spiritual teachers like Mark L. Prophet and Elizabeth Clare Prophet, one’s true love, perfect match, or literal other half is a twin flame; a soulmate is something else. Twin flames are actually a single soul that was created at the beginning of time, but then divided, as in Plato's idea. The soulmate is a separate entity with whom one has spent many lifetimes as a friend, lover, co-worker or partner, and to whom one is usually drawn to fulfill a specific mission.^[8]

According to Mark Prophet: "A soulmate relationship has to do with the seat of the soul chakra, that chakra just above the base" (this refers to the Svadhisthana center, which believers locate in the lower back or about three inches below the navel, above the Manipura "base" chakra) at the genitals). "The connection is one of parallel and mutual evolution rather than origin."^[9] Believers describe Svadhisthana as "the creativity and sexual chakra".^[10] However, the Prophets claim that a true "literal other half" relationship doesn't center around energies or activities believed to be related to the sacral chakra, but is a "profound" relationship with your direct counterpart -- the twin flame you have known as your other self from the first moment of your creation."^[9] similar to what Plato describes: he says "the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover's intercourse, but of something else."^[3]

In the 1988 released The Ascended Masters on Soulmates and Twin Flames,^[11] Mark and Elizabeth Prophet describe the "one true love" or "origin" based twin flame relationship that is oftentimes referred to as a soulmate relationship by saying "They are called twin flames because they came out of the original single ovoid. The Electronic Presence of each soul is the exact duplicate of the other. And when they descend into form, one assumes the positive or masculine and one assumes the negative or feminine polarity."^[9] The Prophet’s ideas about the physical nature of a "true love" relationship are not completely inconsistent with the words and ideas expressed by ancient philosophers and in various religious traditions. The Greek philosopher Aristotle is quoted as saying "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies"^[12] and the Zohar states that "Each soul and spirit prior to its entering into this world, consists of a male and female united into one being. When it descends on this earth the two parts separate and animate two different bodies. At the time of marriage, the Holy One, blessed be He, who knows all souls and spirits, unites them again as they were before, and they again constitute one body and one soul, forming as it were the right and left of one individual."^[13] In Hinduism, the gods Shiva and Parvati fit the "right and left of one individual" description given in the Judaism related Zohar when represented in their composite androgynous form Ardhanarishvara. It is said that Ardhanarishvara "represents a synthesis of masculine and feminine energies of the universe".^[14] In Christian literature, there is mention of an Ardhanarishvara like "two into one" union in the Gospel of Mark and the Gospel of Matthew "the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh".^[15][16] Additionally, in the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus reportedly describes a "two into one", yin and yang like or Ardhanarishvara like relationship to his disciples as the way to enter the Kingdom. "Jesus said to them, "When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the kingdom].".^[17] In Islam, it is believed that the Prophet Muhammad once said "women are the twin halves of men".^[18]

The Prophets and other spiritual teachers around the world teach or have taught that one can have many soulmates but only one true love or twin flame. Spiritual teachers like Mark and Elizabeth Prophet ultimately define or describe a soulmate as one of many potential spiritual brothers or sisters "even though there may be a great attraction and bond between soulmates, fundamentally, in the ultimate sense, you could define it more as a brother/sister relationship, even though soulmates have great marriages and a great union of hearts."^[9]

Bashert: Jewish view of soulmates

Bashert (Yiddish: באַשערט‎) is a Yiddish word that means "destiny".^[19] It is often used in the context of one's divinely foreordained spouse or soulmate, who is called "basherte" (female) or "basherter" (male). It can be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.

The idea of basherte or basherter comes from statements found in classical rabbinic literature. A proverb that "marriages are made in heaven" is illustrated by a story in a midrash collection:

A Roman matron, on being told by Rabbi Jose ben Halafta that God arranges all marriages, said that this was an easy matter and boasted that she could do as much herself. Thereupon she assembled her male and female slaves and paired them off in couples; but on the morrow they all went to her with complaints. Then she admitted that divine intervention is necessary to suitable marriages

— (Genesis Rabba lxviii. 3-4).

Even God Himself finds it as difficult an undertaking as the dividing of the Red Sea. Forty days before a child is born its mate is determined upon

— (Genesis Rabba lxviii 3-4; also Babylonian Talmud, tractates Soṭah 2a; Sanhedrin 22a; comp. M. Ḳ. 18b; "Sefer Hasidim," § 1128).

In modern usage, Jewish singles will say that they are looking for their bashert, meaning they are looking for that person who will complement them perfectly and whom they will complement perfectly. Since it is considered to have been foreordained by God whom one will marry, one's spouse is considered to be one's bashert by definition, independent of whether the couple's marital life works out well or not.

Criticism

Some psychologists state that believing that a soulmate exists specifically for a person is an unrealistic expectation.^[7][20][21]

See also

• Astrological compatibility
• Bromance
• Interpersonal relationship
• Queerplatonic relationship
• Red thread of fate
• Romantic love

References