The Parting of the Ways [1.13]

(18 June 2005)

The Doctor [first words after regenerating]: Hello! Oka-- [gulp, nauseated expression] New teeth. That's weird. So where was I? Oh, that's right: Barcelona! [grins]

Children in Need Special

(18 November 2005)

The Doctor: [to Rose Tyler] Now, then. What do I look like? No. No, no, no-no-no. No. No. No. Don't tell me. Let's see: two legs, two arms, two hands. [flexes his right wrist] Slight weakness in the dorsal tubercle. [puts a hand on his head] Hair! I'm not bald! [runs his fingers through his hair] Oooh. Big hair. [His fingers reach his sideburns] Sideburns! I've got sideburns!! Or really bad skin. Little bit thinner. [pats his stomach] That's weird. Give me time, I'll get used to it. [realizing] I have got.. a mole. I can feel it. Between my shoulder blades, there's a mole. [sways his shoulders a bit] That's all right. Love the mole. Go on, then, tell me. What do you think?

The Doctor: Back to your mum. It's all waiting. Fish and chips, sausage and mash, beans on toast... No! Christmas! Turkey! Although, having met your mother, [sotto voce] nutloaf would be more appropriate.

Series 2 Trailer

The Doctor: Think you've seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me... nothing will ever be the same again!

The Christmas Invasion [2.X]

(25 December 2005)

Harriet Jones: [recurring line — brandishing ID card] Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.

Responder: Yes, I know who you are.

Mr. Llewellyn: [about the aliens from a space probe broadcast] So they might not be actual Martians.

Major Blake: Of course not. Martians look completely different.

The Doctor: Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?

Rose: Umm... different.

The Doctor: Good different or bad different?

Rose: Just...different.

The Doctor: Am I... ginger?

Rose: No, you're just sort of... brown.

The Doctor: [disappointed] Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! [Rose looks annoyed] Oh, that's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.

Sycorax Leader: Who exactly are you?

The Doctor: Well, that's the question.

Sycorax Leader: I demand to know who you are!

The Doctor: [mock-imitation of Sycorax Leader's voice] I DON'T KNOOOW !! [back to regular voice] See, that's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I.. I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? [winks at Rose, who looks away, embarrassed but smiling] Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor or a liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob. [notices the Sycorax blood control button in an alcove, and laughs loudly] And how am I gonna react when I see this? [we see the great big button] [flippantly and pointing at it] A great, big, threatening button. [he laughs again and runs up to it, followed by Rose, Mickey, Harriet, Alex, the Sycorax Leader and another Sycorax] A great, big, threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances. Am I right? [grins at the Sycorax Leader; seriously] Let me guess, it's some sort of... control matrix, hmm? [looks at the button] Hold on, what's feeding it? [he crouches down, looks under the button and pulls a panel out, showing a bowl containing the blood from the probe, laced with some sort of power cables going into the system] And what have we got here? [he dips the middle fingertip of his right hand into the blood, and pulls it out] Blood. [he tastes some of the blood on his fingertip] Yeah, definitely. Blood. Human blood. A+. With just a dash of iron. [he exclaims in disgust, flashes his tongue and wipes his finger tip on the dressing gown he is wearing; looks at the button] But that means... [realises] Blood control. Blood control! [excitedly] Oh! I haven't seen blood control for years! [to the Sycorax Leader] You're controlling all the A+'s.

[The Sycorax Leader snarls quietly at the Doctor. Clearly, he is annoyed that the mechanics of his plan have been discovered.]

The Doctor: Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because, I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button, which should never, ever, EVER, be pressed, then I just wanna do this! [He slams his fist on the button.]

Rose Tyler: NO!

Mickey Smith: No!

[The possessed humans on the rooftops take a step forward, as if to follow the blood control, but they stop just before reaching the edge. The blue light that indicates blood control possession flashes downwards, before dissipating. The humans look around, realise they are not safe, and step backwards, but have no idea why they are there.]

Man: What the hell am I doing up here?

Woman: Get away from the edge!

[The humans notice the Sycorax spaceship hanging in the atmosphere, seemingly for the first time.]

Alex: You've killed them!

The Doctor: [to the Sycorax Leader] What do you think, big fella? Are they dead?

Sycorax Leader: [sullenly] We allow them to live.

The Doctor: [loudly] Allow? You've no choice! [flippantly] See, that's all blood control is. Cheap bit of voodoo. [he walks away from the button] Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnosis. [He rests his forearms on the bit of stone in front of him] You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis, but you can't hypnotise them to death. Survival instinct's too strong.

Sycorax Leader: [angry and annoyed] Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!

The Doctor: Well, you could do that. Yeah, you could do that. Of course you could. But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than-- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!

The Doctor: [Harriet Jones has just ordered the Torchwood institute to destroy the Sycorax spaceship, despite the fact that they have agreed to leave Earth, never to return] Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones! 'Cos I'm a completely new man! I could bring down your government with a single word!

Harriet Jones: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met. But I don't think you're quite capable of that.

The Doctor: No, you're right. Not a single word; just six.

Harriet Jones: I don't think so.

The Doctor: Six words.

Harriet Jones: Stop it!

The Doctor: Six. [walks over to Alex and whispers to him] Don't you think she looks tired?

Jackie Tyler: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.

The Doctor: Trouble's just the bits-in-between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me-- all those planets and creatures and horizons! I haven't seen them yet, not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic!

New Earth [2.1]

(15 April 2006)

Rose: What's the city called?

The Doctor: New New York.

Rose: Oh, come on.

The Doctor: It is! It's the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York. [Rose laughs.] What?

Rose: You're so different.

The Doctor: [grins] New-New Doctor.

Novice Hame: One story says that just before his death, the Face of Boe will impart his greatest secret. He will speak those words only to one like himself.

The Doctor: What does that mean?

Novice Hame: It's just a story.

The Doctor: Tell me the rest.

Novice Hame: It is said he will talk to a wanderer, to the man without a home, a lonely god.

Cassandra-in-Doctor: Ooh, my. Well this is... different.

Rose: Cassandra?

Cassandra-in-Doctor: Goodness me, I'm a man! Yum! So many parts... and hardly used. [clutches the Doctor's chest] Oh, two hearts! [dancing to the dual heartbeat] Oh, baby, I'm beating out a samba!

Rose: Get out of him!

Cassandra-in-Doctor: Oh, he's slim. [turn to Rose] And a little bit foxy! [raises eyebrows] You thought so, too. I've been inside your head, you've been looking. You like it.

The Doctor: I got the impression there was something you wanted to tell me.

The Face of Boe: A great secret...

The Doctor: So the legend says.

The Face of Boe: It can wait.

The Doctor: [disappointed] Oh, does it have to?!

The Face of Boe: We shall meet again, Doctor. For the third time, for the last time, and the truth shall be told. Until that day...

[The Face of Boe teleports away]

The Doctor: That is enigmatic. That is-- That is textbook enigmatic.

Tooth and Claw [2.2]

(22 April 2006)

Father Angelo: We will take the house.

Steward: Would you like my wife while you're at it?

Father Angelo: If you won't stand aside then we'll take it by force.

Steward: By what power? The hand of God?

Father Angelo: No. The fist of man. [He whips the steward into submission with his cane. At the wave of his hand, his fellow monks take off their robes, and, demonstrating incredible martial skills, they make short work of the rest of the men.]

Captain Reynolds: You will explain your presence, and the nakedness of this girl.

The Doctor: [in a perfect Scottish accent] Are we in Scotland?

Captain Reynolds: How can you be ignorant of that?

The Doctor: Oh, I'm, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this... this wee-naked child over hill and over dale. Ain't that right, ya... tim'rous beastie?

Rose: Uh, uh... [adopts an extremely terrible Scottish accent] och aye, I've been oot and aboot.

The Doctor: [quietly to Rose, in the Doctor's Estuary English accent] No, don't do that.

Rose: Hoots, mon!

The Doctor: [still quiet] No, really don't. Really.

The Doctor: And, I'll tell you something else: We just met Queen Victoria!

Rose Tyler: Oh, I know! She was just sitting there.

The Doctor: Like a stamp!

Rose Tyler: I want her to say [imitating Queen Victoria] "we are not amused". Bet you five quid I can make her say it.

The Doctor: Well if I gambled on that, it'd be an abuse of my privilege as a traveler in time.

Rose Tyler: Ten quid?

The Doctor: Done.

Rose Tyler: [about the Koh-i-Noor] How much is that worth?

The Doctor: They say the wages of the entire planet for a whole week.

Rose Tyler: Good job my mum's not here, or she'd be fighting the wolf off with her bare hands for that thing.

The Doctor: She'd win.

Queen Victoria: I saw last night that Great Britain has enemies beyond imagination, and we must defend our borders on all sides. I propose an Institute to investigate these strange happenings and to fight them. I would call it Torchwood. The Torchwood Institute. And if this Doctor should return, then he should beware, because Torchwood will be waiting.

School Reunion [2.3]

(29 April 2006)

The Doctor: [posing as a teacher, introducing himself to class] So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Phyyyysics! [catches himself] I hope you're getting all this down!

[Sarah encounters that TARDIS and backs into the school auditorium. She turns and sees the Doctor.]

The Doctor: Hello, Sarah Jane.

Sarah: [softly] It's you. Doctor. Oh, my God, it's you, isn't it? [realizing] You've regenerated.

The Doctor: Oh. Half a dozen times since we last met.

Sarah: You look.... incredible.

The Doctor: So do you.

Sarah: Hm. I got old. What are you doing here?

The Doctor: Well. UFO sighting. School gets record results. I couldn't resist. What about you?

Sarah: Same.

[They both smile and laugh -- two old friends. Sarah then gets upset.]

Sarah: [emotional] I thought you died. I waited for you. You didn't come back, and I thought you must have died.

The Doctor: I lived. Everyone else died.

Sarah: What do you mean?

The Doctor: Everyone died, Sarah.

Sarah: I can't believe it's you.

[They hear Mickey cry out.]

Sarah: [her mood brightens] Okay. Now I can.

The Doctor: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay; you wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone that you-- [breaks off]

Rose: What, Doctor?

The Doctor: You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords.

Sarah: I saw things you wouldn't believe!

Rose: Try me.

Sarah: Mummies.

Rose: I've met ghosts.

Sarah: Robots. Lots of robots.

Rose: Slitheen. In Downing Street.

Sarah: Daleks!

Rose: [smugly] Met the Emperor.

Sarah: Anti-matter monsters!

Rose: Gas-mask zombies!

Sarah: Real-living dinosaurs!

Rose: Real-living werewolf!

Sarah: THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!

Rose: [stunned] Seriously?

Mr Finch: [sneers] You... bad dog!

K9: [smugly] Affirmative!

Sarah: It's daft, but I haven't ever thanked you for that time, and like I said, I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

The Doctor: Something to tell the grandkids.

Sarah: Oh, I think it'll be someone else's grandkids now.

The Doctor: Right. Yes, sorry. I didn't get a chance to ask. You haven't... There hasn't been anyone? You know...?

Sarah: Well, there was this one guy. I traveled with him for a while. But he was a tough act to follow. [Sarah and the Doctor laugh] Goodbye, Doctor.

The Doctor: Oh, it's not goodbye—

Sarah: Say it, please. This time. Say it.

The Doctor: Goodbye... my Sarah Jane!

The Girl in the Fireplace [2.4]

(6 May 2006)

The Doctor: Don't worry Reinette, it's just a nightmare. Everyone has nightmares; even big scary monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster?

Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?

The Doctor: Me! Ha!

Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?

The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... [A horse whinnies off screen] Oh, and I met a horse.

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?

The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective

[during the mind link]

Reinette: Oh, such a lonely childhood.

The Doctor: It'll pass. Stay with me

Reinette: Oh, Doctor. So lonely, so very very alone.

The Doctor: What do you mean, alone? You've never been alone in your life.When did you start calling me Doctor?

Reinette: Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonelier now. How can you bear it?

[The Doctor breaks the link]

The Doctor: [stunned] How did you do that?

Reinette: A door, once opened, can be stepped through in either direction. Oh, Doctor. My lonely Doctor. Dance with me.

Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

[After making a heroic entrance to the besieged ballroom at Versailles]

Reinette: Oh, this is my lover, the King of France.

The Doctor: [dismissive] Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.

[Reinette's final letter to the Doctor]

Reinette: [voice-over, as the Doctor reads] My dear Doctor: the path has never seemed more slow, and yet I fear I am nearing its end. Reason tells me that you and I are unlikely to meet again, but I think I shall not listen to reason. I have seen the world inside your head and know that all things are possible. Hurry though, my love: my days grow shorter now, and I am so very weak. Godspeed, my lonely angel.

Rise of the Cybermen [2.5]

(13 May 2006)

[Mickey is gingerly holding down a button on the TARDIS console.]

The Doctor: [smiling] Umm... what are you doing that for?

Mickey: 'Cos you told me to.

The Doctor: [smile slowly fades] When was that?

Mickey: About half an hour ago.

The Doctor: [sheepish] Umm... you can let go now.

[Mickey lets go to an audible 'bleep' from the TARDIS. Rose quietly giggles.]

Mickey: How long has it been since I could've stopped?

The Doctor: Ten minutes? Twenty? Twenty-nine?

Jackie: Have a look! [she shows him a banner that says "Happy 40th Birthday"]

Pete: What's wrong with that?

Jackie: 40! It says 40!

Pete: You are forty!

Jackie: Well, I don't want the whole world telling, do I?

Pete: You're having a party tonight!

Jackie: My thirty-ninth! My official biography says I was born on the same day as Cuba Gooding, Jr., and that makes me thirty-nine, thank you very much.

The Doctor: If you want to know what's going on, work in the kitchen.

[The Doctor gestures towards one of the guests, the President of Great Britain.]

The Doctor: According to Lucy, that man over there...

Rose Tyler: Who is Lucy?

The Doctor: She's carrying the salmon pinwheels. [nods towards a waitress on the other side of the room]

Rose Tyler: Oh, that's Lucy, isn't it?

The Doctor: Yeah. Lucy says that that is the President of Great Britain.

Rose Tyler: What, there's a "President", not a "Prime Minister"?

The Doctor: Seems so.

Rose Tyler: Or maybe Lucy's just a bit thick.

Cyberman: Upgrading is compulsory.

President: And if I refuse?

The Doctor: [muttering] Don't.

President: What if I refuse?

The Doctor: I'm telling you, don't!

President: What happens if I refuse?

Cyberman: Then you are not compatible.

President: What happens then?

Cyberman: You will be deleted. [The Cyberman electrocutes the President]

The Age of Steel [2.6]

(20 May 2006)

Mickey: Ricky said he's London's Most Wanted.

Ricky: Yeah, that's not exactly...

Mickey: Not exactly what?

Ricky: I'm London's most wanted for... parking tickets.

The Doctor: I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room.

Mickey: Then let's go liberate France.

Jake: [incredulous] What, in a van?

Mickey: There's nothing wrong with a van. I once saved the universe with a big yellow truck!

The Idiot's Lantern [2.7]

(27 May 2006)

Rose: Where're we off to?

The Doctor: Ed Sullivan TV studios. Elvis did "Hound Dog" on one of the shows, there were loads of complaints. Bit of luck, we'll just catch it.

Rose: And that would be TV studios in... what, New York?

The Doctor: That's the one.

[A red double-decker bus goes by. The Doctor hits the brakes.]

Rose: Ha ha! Dig that New York vibe.

The Doctor: Well, this could still be New York. I mean, this looks very New York to me. Sort of a London-y New York, mind you, but...

The Doctor: Hold on a minute. You've got hands, Mr. Connolly. Two big hands. So why's that your wife's job?

Eddie: Well it's housework, isn't it?

The Doctor: And that's a woman's job?

Eddie: Of course, it is!

The Doctor: Mr. Connolly, what gender is the Queen?

Eddie: She's a female.

The Doctor: And are you suggesting that the Queen does the housework?

Eddie: [eyes widening] No! No, not at all!

The Doctor: Then, get busy!

Eddie Connolly: Now you listen here, Doctor. You may have fancy qualifications, but what goes on under my roof is my business!

The Doctor: A lot of people are being bundled into--

Eddie Connolly: [fiercely] I am TALKING!

The Doctor: [stands up and matches Eddie] AND I'M NOT LISTENING!!

[Eddie backs up, gobsmacked. Everyone else in the room looks completely taken aback]

The Doctor: Now you, Mr. Connolly — you are staring into a deep, dark pit of trouble if you don't let me help! So I'm ordering you - SIR! - tell me what's going on!

D.I. Bishop: We just found another one. [brings in the latest victim: Rose, her face covered by a blanket]

The Doctor: [furious] What?! They left her where?

D.I. Bishop: The street.

The Doctor: They took her face and just chucked her out in the street. As a consequence, that makes this simple... very, very simple. Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this earth that can stop me!

The Impossible Planet [2.8]

(3 June 2006)

The Doctor: [talking about the TARDIS] I don't know what is wrong with her, she's sort of... queasy, indigestion... like she didn't want to land.

Rose: [deadpan] Well if you think that's gonna be trouble, we can always get back inside and go somewhere else.

[The Doctor and Rose laugh.]

The Doctor: I've trapped you here.

Rose: [sarcastically] Oh, don't worry about me. [There is a rumble overhead.] Okay... we're under a black hole... on a planet which shouldn't exist, with no way out. Right, I've changed my mind—start worrying about me.

Ida: Well, we've come this far, there's no turning back.

The Doctor: Oh, come on! Did you have to? "No turning back", that's almost as bad as "Nothing could possibly go wrong", or "This is gonna be the best Christmas Walford's ever had!"

Ida: [frustrated] Have you finished?

The Doctor: Yeah. Finished.

The Satan Pit [2.9]

I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.

(10 June 2006)

The Doctor: [The Beast] is playing on very basic fears. Darkness, childhood, nightmares, all that sort of stuff.

Danny: But that's how the devil works!

The Doctor: Or a good psychologist.

The Doctor: You get representations of the horned beast right across the Universe. In the myths and legends of a million worlds: Earth, Draconia, Vel Considene, Daemos, the Kaled God of War: it's the same image, over and over again. Maybe that idea came from somewhere, bleeding through, a thought at the back of every sentient mind.

Ida: Emanating from here?

The Doctor: Could be.

Ida: But if this is the original, does that make it real? Does that make it the actual Devil?!

The Doctor: Well, if that's what you want to believe. Maybe that's what the Devil is in the end: an idea.

The Doctor: [about to let go of the cable and fall into the Pit, probably never to return] If you get back in touch... if you talk to Rose... just tell her... tell her I... Oh, she knows.

[The Doctor lets go of the cable and falls into the Pit.]

The Doctor: [about Rose] I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon, if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.

Toby Zed: [possessed by the Beast for the last time] I am the rage, and the bile, and the ferocity! I am the Prince, and the fool, and the agony! I am the sin, and the fire, and the darkness! [opens his mouth and breathes fire] I shall never die! The thought of me is forever: in the bleeding hearts of men, in their vanity, obsession, and lust! Nothing shall ever destroy me! Nothing!

Rose: [aiming a yellow-stripped Boltgun] Go to hell. [Rose fires at the ship viewscreen, causing it to suck Toby (and the Beast) out of the ship and into outer space.]

Love & Monsters [2.10]

(17 June 2006)

[Inside a launderette, Elton needs to befriend Jackie in in order to locate her daughter Rose]

Elton: [voice-over] I'd been trained for this. Victor Kennedy's classes covered basic surveillance and espionage. Step one: engage your target. Find some excuse to start a conversation. But how was I gonna do this? How?

Jackie: Excuse me love, you couldn’t give us a quid for two fifties, could you?

Elton: Yeah... Just a... ah, da-da!

Jackie: Oh lovely! Cheers.

Elton: [voice-over] Step two: without provoking suspicion, get on first name terms with the target.

Jackie: My name's Jackie. By the way.

Elton: I'm Elton.

Jackie: Ah, you don’t meet many Eltons, do you? Apart from the obvious!

[They both laugh]

Elton: [voice-over] Step three: ingratiate yourself with a joke or some humourous device.

Jackie: I tell you what, Elton. Here we are, complete strangers, and I’m flashing you me' knickers!

Elton: [voice-over] Step four: find some subtle way to integrate yourself into the target’s household.

Jackie: Mind you, I’m only down here because my washing machine’s knackered. I don’t suppose you’re any good at fixing things, are you?

The Doctor: [Upon appearing from the TARDIS. To Elton.] Someone wants a word with you.

Rose: [angrily] You upset my mum!

Elton: [glances at the Abzorbaloff] Great big absorbing creature from outer space, and you're having a go at me?

Rose: No one upsets my mum.

Abzorbaloff: See, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you. So passionate, so sweet: you wouldn't let an innocent man die! And I'll absorb him unless you give yourself to me!

The Doctor: Sweet, maybe... Passionate, I suppose... But don't ever mistake that for nice.

Elton: When you're a kid, they tell you it's all, "Grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it." But the truth is the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.

Fear Her [2.11]

(24 June 2006)

The Doctor:[Kneeling on the grass with his hand out, in spaced-out voice] Mmmm... tickles...

Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: [To the Doctor, who is crouched on his lawn] What's your game?

The Doctor:[Turning round quickly] Snakes and Ladders? Quite good at... squash? I'm being facetious, I... There's no call for it.

The Doctor: [Backing away] I'm a... I'm a police officer, that's what I am! I've got a badge, and a police car, and I can prove it! I've got—[shows psychic paper]

Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: We've had plenty of coppers poking around here, and you don't look or sound like any of them.

The Doctor: [indicating Rose] See? Look, I've got a colleague. Lewis.

Dame Kelly Holmes Close resident: Well, she looks less like a copper than you do.

The Doctor: Trainee. New recruit. It was either that or hairdressing.

Kel: You just took a council axe from a council van, and now you're digging up a council road! I'm reporting you to the council!

Rose: You know what, they keep trying to split us up, but they never, ever will.

The Doctor: Never say never, ever.

Rose: Nah, we'll always be all right, you and me. Don't you think? Doctor?

The Doctor: Something in the air. Something's coming. A storm's approaching...

Army of Ghosts [2.12]

(1 July 2006)

Rose (voice-over): Planet Earth. This is where I was born. And this is where I died. The first nineteen years of my life, nothing happened. Nothing at all, not ever. And then I met a man called the Doctor. A man who could change his face. And he took me away from home in his magical machine. He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end.

The Doctor: [with Rose on an alien planet] How long are you going to stay with me?

Rose: Forever.

Rose (voice-over): Well, that's what I thought. But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood and the war. That's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died.

Jackie: You're always doing this, reducing it to science. Why can't it be real? Just think of it, though. All the people we've lost, our families, coming back home. Don't you think it's beautiful?

The Doctor: I think it's horrific.

Yvonne Hartman: You always travel with a companion. There's no point hiding anything. Not from us. So where is she?

The Doctor: Yes. Sorry, good point. She's just a bit shy, that's all.

[The Doctor opens the door to the TARDIS, where Rose and Jackie are hiding and grabs Jackie, pulling her out.]

The Doctor: But here she is, Rose Tyler! Hm, she's not the best I've ever had. Bit too blonde. Not too steady on her pins. A lot of that [makes a movement with his hand to indicate she talks too much] And just last week she stared into the heart of the time vortex and aged 57 years. But she'll do.

Jackie: I'm forty!

The Doctor: Deluded. Bless. I'll have to trade her in. Do you need anyone? She's very good at tea. Well, when I say "very good" I mean not bad. Well, I say "not bad"—anyway, lead on. Allons-y! But not too fast. Her ankle's going.

Jackie: [enraged] I'll show you where my ankle's going!

Yvonne Hartman: Her Majesty created the Torchwood Institute with the express intention of keeping Britain great and fighting the alien horde.

The Doctor: But if I’m the enemy, does that mean I'm a prisoner?

Yvonne Hartman: Oh, yes. But we'll make you perfectly comfortable.

Yvonne Hartman: [confused] Well, if that's Rose Tyler, who's she?!

Jackie: [indignant] I'm her mother!

Yvonne Hartman: Oh, you travel with her mother?!

Jackie: He kidnapped me!

The Doctor: Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history, don't tell people I travelled through time and space with her mother!

[Yvonne chuckles]

Jackie: [annoyed] Charming!

The Doctor: I've got a reputation to uphold!

The Doctor: So you find the breach, probe it, the sphere comes through. Six hundred feet above London, bam. It leaves a hole in the fabric of reality. And that hole, you think, "Oh, shall we leave it alone? Shall we back off? Shall we play it safe? Nah," you think, "let's make it bigger!"

Yvonne Hartman: It's a massive source of energy. If we can harness that power, we need never depend on the Middle East again. Britain will become truly independent. Look, you can see for yourself. Next Ghost Shift's in two minutes.

The Doctor: Cancel it.

Yvonne Hartman: I don't think so.

The Doctor: [more angry] I'm warning you, cancel it!

Yvonne Hartman: Oh, exactly as the legends would have it. The Doctor, lording it over us, assuming alien authority over the Rights of Man!

The Doctor: Let me show you. Sphere comes through. [points the sonic screwdriver at a glass wall, creating a hole with cracks spreading around it] But when it made the hole, it cracked the world around it. The entire surface of this dimension splintered. And that's how the ghosts get through, that's how they get everywhere - they're bleeding through the fault lines! Walking from their world, across the Void, and into yours, with the human race hoping and wishing and helping them along. But too many ghosts, and... [taps the glass, and it shatters]

Doomsday [2.13]

(1 July 2006)

Dalek Thay: Identify yourselves.

Cyberman: You will identify first.

Dalek Thay: State your identity!

Cyberman: You will identify first.

Dalek Thay: IDENTIFY!!

Mickey: [muttering] It's like Stephen Hawking meets the speaking clock.

Cyberman: Our species are similar, though your design is inelegant.

Dalek Thay: Daleks have no concept of elegance.

Cyberman: This is obvious.

Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.

Dalek Sec: This is not war. This is pest control!

Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?

Dalek Sec: Four.

Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?

Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.

Cyber Leader: What is that?

Dalek Sec: You are better at dying.

Dalek Jast: This male registers as enemy.

Dalek Sec: The female's heartbeat has increased!

Mickey: [wryly] Yeah, tell me about it.

Dalek Sec: Identify him!

Rose: All right then. You really want to know? That's the Doctor.

[The Daleks recoil at the mention of the Doctor.]

Rose: Five million Cybermen? Easy. One Doctor? Now you're scared.

Pete: Look at it, a world of peace. They're calling this the Golden Age.

The Doctor: Who's the President now?

Pete: A woman called Harriet Jones.

The Doctor: Ooh, I'd keep an eye on her...

Pete: But it's a lie. Temperatures have risen by two degrees in the past six months. The ice caps are melting. They're saying all this is going to be flooded. That's not just global warming, is it?

The Doctor: No.

Pete: It's the breach.

The Doctor: I've been trying to tell you - travel between parallel worlds is impossible! The Daleks break down the walls with their sphere...

Pete: "Daleks"?

The Doctor: ...then the Cybermen travel across, then you lot. Those discs - every time you jump from one reality to another, you rip a hole in the universe! This planet is starting to boil! Keep going and both worlds will fall into the Void!

Dalek Sec: The Doctor will open the Ark!

The Doctor: [chuckles] The Doctor will not.

Dalek Sec: You have no way of resisting!

The Doctor: Mm, you got me there. [pulls out his sonic screwdriver.] Although, there is always this.

Dalek Sec: A sonic probe?

The Doctor: That's screwdriver!

Dalek Sec: It is harmless.

The Doctor: Oh, yes. Harmless is just the word. That's why I like it! Doesn't kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do. It is very good at opening doors. [The Doctor activates the screwdriver and the doors explode inwards; Jake's squad and some Cybermen enter and open fire.]

[The Doctor is projecting a hologram into the parallel world containing Rose]

Rose: Where are you?

The Doctor: Inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection; I'm in orbit around a supernova. I'm burning up a sun, just to say goodbye.

The Doctor: Rose Tyler. Defender of the Earth. You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day, and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have.

Rose: I... I love you.

The Doctor: Quite right, too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler...

[The transmission cuts]

The Runaway Bride [3.X]

(25 December 2006)

Donna: Oi! No stupid Martian is gonna stop me from getting married. To hell with you!

The Doctor: [tiredly] I'm... I'm not... I'm not-I'm not from Mars...

[Donna and the Doctor try to hail cabs. With no success.]

The Doctor: Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?

Donna: They think I'm in fancy dress.

Taxi Driver: Stay off the scotch, darlin'!

Donna: They think I'm drunk.

[Another car passes.]

Driver and Passenger: You're fooling no one, mate!

Donna: They think I'm in drag!

Donna: You had the reception without me?

The Doctor: Hello. I'm the Doctor.

Donna: They had the reception without me!

The Doctor: Yes, I gather.

The Doctor: Oh, is that what she's offered you, the Empress of the Racnoss? What are you, her consort?

Lance: [glances at Donna] It's better than a night with her.

Donna: But I love you.

Lance: That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor. The big picture. What's the point of it all if the human race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to... to go out there to see it, the size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?

The Doctor: Guess what I've got, Donna? [holds up the roboform remote control] Pockets!

Donna: [surprised] How did that fit in there?

The Doctor: They're bigger on the inside.

Smith and Jones [3.1]

How does it do that? It's wood! It's like a box with that room just crammed in. It's... bigger on the inside!

(31 March 2007)

Mr. Stoker: There's a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by—anyone?

The Doctor: Benjamin Franklin.

Mr. Stoker: Correct.

The Doctor: My mate Ben. That was a day and a half: I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked...

Mr. Stoker: Quite.

The Doctor: ...and then I got electrocuted!

Mr. Stoker: [now ignoring him] Moving on. [to a nurse] I think perhaps a visit from Psychiatric.

The Doctor: You're talking like you're some sort of alien.

Florence: Quite so.

The Doctor: [feigning shock] No!

Florence: Oh, yes.

The Doctor: You're joshing me!

Florence: I am not.

The Doctor: I'm talking to an alien? In hospital?! What, has this place got an E.T. department or something?

The Doctor: Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks.

Martha: [bewildered upon entering the TARDIS] How does it do that? It's wood! It's like a box with that room just crammed in. It's... [The Doctor mouths the next few words along with her] bigger on the inside!

The Doctor: [sarcastically] Is it?!?! I hadn't noticed!

The Shakespeare Code [3.2]

To be or not to be... Ooh. That's quite good.

(7 April 2007)

Martha: [After travelling to 1599] But are we safe? Can we move around and stuff?

The Doctor: Of course we can. Why do you ask?

Martha: It's like in the films! You step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race!

The Doctor: [Bemused] I'll tell you what, then: don't...step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you?

Martha: What if...I dunno! What if I kill my grandfather?!

The Doctor: Are you planning to?

Martha: No.

The Doctor: Well, then.

The Doctor: Come on! We can all have a good flirt later!

William Shakespeare: Is that a promise, Doctor?

The Doctor: Oooh, 57 academics just punched the air!

Martha: So, magic and stuff. That's a surprise. It's all a little bit Harry Potter.

The Doctor: Wait 'til you read Book Seven. Oh, I cried.

Shakespeare: To be or not to be... Ooh. That's quite good.

The Doctor: You should write that down.

Shakespeare: Maybe not. Bit pretentious?

The Doctor: ...Meh.

Shakespeare [on the stage as the Carrionites are materializing, to save the world he is improvising a speech to send them back.]: Close up this din of hateful dire decay. Decomposition of your witches plot. You thieve my brains, consider me your toy — my doted Doctor tells me I am not!

Lilith: [shrieks in pain] Words of power!

Shakespeare: Foul Carrionite festers, cease your show! Between the points... [looks over at the Doctor questionably]

The Doctor: Seven-six-one-three-nine-oh!

Shakespeare: Seven-six-one-three-nine-oh! Vanish like a tinker's cuss, I say to thee--[looks back at the Doctor questionably.]

The Doctor: Um... [looks to Martha desperately.]

Martha: Expelliarmus!

The Doctor: Expelliarmus!

Shakespeare: Expelliarmus!

The Doctor: Good old J. K.!

Queen Elizabeth I: Doctor!

The Doctor: [surprised] What?

Queen Elizabeth I: My sworn enemy!

The Doctor: [confused] What?

Queen Elizabeth I: Off with his head!

The Doctor: What?!

Martha: Never mind "what" - just run!

Gridlock [3.3]

(14 April 2007)

Martha: When you say "last time", was that you and Rose?

The Doctor: Um, yeah. Yeah, it was, yeah.

Martha: [looking put out] You're taking me to the same planets that you took her?

The Doctor: What's wrong with that?

Martha: Nothing! Just, ever heard of the word "rebound"?

Doctor: [determined to go after Martha] I'm finding my own way. I usually do. [opens hatch with sonic screwdriver] There we go [takes off coat and tosses it to Valerie] Look after this. [looks down hatch, then up again longingly] I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.

The Face of Boe: Everything has its time. You know that, old friend, better than most.

Hame: The legend says more.

The Doctor: Don't, there's no need for that.

Hame: It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveler.

The Doctor: Yeah, but not yet; who needs secrets, eh?

The Face of Boe: I have seen so much, perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind, as you are the last of yours, Doctor.

The Doctor: That's why we have to survive, both of us. Don't go.

The Face of Boe: I must, but know this, Time Lord: You are not alone. [He dies.]

Martha: He said, "last of your kind". What does that mean?

The Doctor: It really doesn't matter.

Martha: You don't talk. You never say! Why not?

[The whole city starts to sing "Abide With Me"]

Martha: It's the city. They're singing.

The Doctor: I lied to you, 'cos I liked it. I could pretend, just for a bit, I could imagine they were still alive... underneath that burnt orange sky. I'm not just a Time Lord, I'm the last of the Time Lords. The Face of Boe was wrong. There's no one else.

Martha: What happened?

The Doctor: There was a war. A Time War. The Last Great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks... for the sake of all creation. And they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now. My family. My friends. Even that sky. [reminiscent] Oh, you should have seen it, that old planet! The second sun would rise in the south, and the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver. When they caught the light, every morning it looked like a forest on fire. When the Autumn came, a brilliant glow though the branches...

Daleks in Manhattan [3.4]

(21 April 2007)

Foreman: So these, uh, these new bosses. What's their names?

Mr. Diagoras: I think you could say they're from out of town.

Foreman: Italians?

Mr. Diagoras: A bit further than that.

Foreman: How much further?

Mr. Diagoras: Beyond your imagination.

Foreman: Aw what's that supposed to mean? Who are they? Mr. Diagoras, who are we working for?

Mr. Diagoras: Behold your masters. [the lift doors open to reveal Dalek Caan]

Tallulah: Hey, you're lucky though. Got yourself a forward thinking guy with that hot potato in the sharp suit.

Martha: Oh, he's not... We're not... together.

Tallulah: Sure you are! I've seen the way you look at him, it's obvious.

Martha: Not to him.

Tallulah: Oh, I should have realized. He's into musical theatre.

Dalek Caan: We are the only four Daleks in existence. So the species must evolve. A life outside the shell. The children of Skaro must walk again!

Dalek Sec: [emerges from his casing in a new Human-Dalek hybrid form] I... am... a Human-Dalek. I... am your future!

Evolution of the Daleks [3.5]

(28 April 2007)

Martha: I wish the Doctor was here. He'd know what we're looking for.

Tallulah: So tell me, where did you and him first hook up?

Martha: It was in a hospital, sort of.

Tallulah: Of course, him being a doctor.

Martha: Actually, I'm a doctor. Well, kind of.

Tallulah: You're a physician? Really?

Martha: I was training. Still am, if I ever get back home.

Tallulah: You could be doctors together. Oh, what a partnership! Oh, it's such a shame. If only he wasn't so...different. You know what I mean?

Martha: Oh, you have no idea of how different he is.

Tallulah: Yeah, he's a man, sweetheart, that's different enough!

The Doctor: Daleks are bad enough at any time, but right now they're vulnerable, and that makes them more dangerous than ever.

Dalek Thay: You saved the Doctor. Why?

Dalek Sec: He's a genius, and we can use him. The future of the Daleks may well depend upon the Doctor.

The Doctor: Removing the emotions makes you stronger. That's what your creator thought, all those years ago.

Dalek Sec: He was wrong.

The Doctor: He was what?

Dalek Sec: It makes us lesser than our enemies. We must return to the flesh, and also the heart.

The Doctor: Then you wouldn't be the supreme beings anymore.

Dalek Sec: That is good.

Dalek Caan: That is incorrect!

Dalek Thay: Daleks are supreme!

Dalek Sec: No! Not anymore.

Dalek Caan: But it is our purpose!

Dalek Sec: Then our purpose is wrong! Where has our quest for supremacy led us? To this! Hiding in the sewers on a primitive world, just four of us left. If we do not change now, then we deserve extinction.

The Doctor: So you want to change everything that makes a Dalek a Dalek.

Dalek Sec: If you can help me.

Tallulah: [her lover, Laszlo, is dying] Doctor, can't you do something?

The Doctor: Oh, Tallulah with three Ls and an H... just you watch me. What do I need? Oh, I dunno, how about a great big genetic laboratory? (big grin) Oh, look, I've got one. [he gathers equipment.] Lazlo, just you hold on! There have been too many deaths today, way too many people have died. Brand new creatures and wise old men and age-old enemies. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now, I am not having one more death! You got that? Not one! Tallulah, out of the way! The Doctor is in!

The Lazarus Experiment [3.6]

(5 May 2007)

The Doctor: Black tie...Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens.

Martha: That's not the outfit, that's just you. But anyway, I think it suits you. In a... James Bond kinda way.

The Doctor: [surprised] James Bond? Really?

The Doctor: Using hypersonic sound waves to create a state of resonance - that's inspired.

Lazarus: You understand the theory, then?

The Doctor: Enough to know that you couldn't possibly have allowed for all the variables.

Lazarus: No experiment is entirely without risk.

Lazarus: I find that nothing's ever exactly like you expect. There's always something to surprise you. "Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act--"

The Doctor: "Falls the Shadow."

Lazarus:: So the mysterious Doctor knows his Eliot. I'm impressed.

The Doctor: I wouldn't have thought you had time for poetry, Lazarus, what with you being busy defying the laws of nature and all.

Lazarus: You're right, Doctor. One lifetime's been too short for me to do everything I'd like. How much more I'll get done in two or three or four.

The Doctor: It doesn't work like that. Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person.

Lazarus: But if it's the right person, what a gift that would be.

The Doctor: Or what a curse. Look at what you've done to yourself.

Lazarus: Who are you to judge me?

The Doctor: Really shouldn't take that long just to reverse the polarity. Must be a bit out of practice!

Martha: Oh God, he seems so... human again. It's kind of pitiful.

The Doctor: Eliot saw that too. "This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper."

The Doctor: What about the other people who died?!

Lazarus: They were nothing. I changed the course of history!

The Doctor: Any of them might have done too. You think history is only made with equations?! Facing death is part of being human; you can't change that.

Lazarus: No, Doctor. Avoiding death is being human! It's our strongest impulse: to cling to life with every fiber of being! I'm only doing what everyone before me has tried to do. I've simply been more... successful. [Lazarus groans in agony as his bones crack and contort]

The Doctor: Look at yourself! You're mutating! You've got no control over it, and you call it a success?!

Lazarus: I call it progress! I'm more now than I was; more than just an ordinary human.

The Doctor: There's no such thing as an ordinary human.

Lazarus: You're so sentimental, Doctor. Maybe you are older than you look.

The Doctor: I'm old enough to know that a longer life isn't always a better one. In the end, you just get tired; tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything you love turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you'll end up alone.

Lazarus: That's a price worth paying.

The Doctor: Is it?

42 [3.7]

(19 May 2007)

Martha: [over the intercom] Doctor?

The Doctor: What is it now?!

Martha: Who had the most number ones, Elvis or the Beatles? That's pre-download.

The Doctor: Elvis. No! The Beatles. No! Wait, um... um... awww, that remix... um... I don't know, I am a bit busy.

Martha: Fine, I'll ask someone else.

The Doctor: Now where was I?... Here comes the sun... No, resources.

Riley: The wonderful world of space travel... The prettier it looks, the more likely it is to kill you.

Human Nature [3.8]

(26 May 2007)

Hutchinson: [to Martha] Tell me then, Jones. With hands like those, how can you tell when something's clean? [Baines and Hutchinson laugh and leave]

Martha: That's very funny, sir.

Jenny: Careful, now. Don't answer back.

Martha: I'd answer back with my bucket over his head.

John Smith: Mankind doesn't need warfare and bloodshed to prove itself. Everyday life can provide honor and valor. Let's hope that from now on this country can find its heroes in smaller places. In the most ordinary of deeds.

Joan Redfern: It's all becoming clear. The Doctor is the man you'd like to be, doing impossible things with cricket balls.

John Smith: Well, I discovered a talent, that's certainly true.

Joan Redfern: And The Doctor has an eye for the ladies...

John Smith: The devil!

Joan Redfern: A girl in every fireplace.

John Smith: Ah now, there I have to protest Joan, that's hardly me.

Joan Redfern: Says the man dancing with me tonight!

The Family of Blood [3.9]

(2 June 2007)

[Rocastle and Mr. Phillips confront Baines (Son of Mine) and Jenny (Mother of Mine)]

Headmaster Rocastle: You speak with someone else's voice, Baines. Who might that be?

Son of Mine: We are the Family of Blood.

Headmaster Rocastle: Mr. Smith said there had been deaths.

Son of Mine: Yes, sir. And they were good, sir.

Headmaster Rocastle: Well, I warn you, the school is armed.

Son of Mine: All your little tin soldiers. But tell me, sir - will they thank you?

Headmaster Rocastle: I don't understand.

Son of Mine: What do you know of history, sir? What do you know of next year?

Headmaster Rocastle: You're not making sense, Baines--

Son of Mine: 1914, sir. Because the Family has traveled far and wide looking for Mr. Smith and, oh, the things we have seen! War is coming. In foreign fields, war of the whole wide world, with all your boys falling down in the mud. Do you think they will thank the man who taught them it was glorious?

Headmaster Rocastle: Don't you forget, boy. I've been a soldier. I was in South Africa. I used my dead mates for sandbags. I fought with the butt of my rifle when the bullets ran out, and I would go back there tomorrow for King and Country--

Son of Mine: Et cetera, et cetera. [casually vaporizes Mr. Phillips]

Tim: [describing The Doctor] He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time, and he can see the turn of the universe. And... he's wonderful.

Martha: All you have to do is open it and he's back.

John Smith: You knew this all along, and yet you watched while Nurse Redfern and I--

Martha: I didn't know how to stop you! He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn't included.

John Smith: Falling in love? That didn't even occur to him?

Martha: [she hesitates] No.

John Smith: [teary-eyed] Then what sort of a man is that?! And now you expect me to die?!

Martha: It was always going to end, though! The Doctor said the Family's got a limited lifespan, and that's why they need to consume a Time Lord. Otherwise, three months and they die. Like mayflies, he said.

The Doctor: So your job was to execute me.

Martha: People are dying out there! They need him, and I need him! Because you've got no idea what he's like. I've only just met him, it wasn't even that long ago, but... he is everything. He's just everything to me, and he doesn't even look at me, but I don't care. Because I love him to bits. And I hope to God he won't remember me saying this.

[The Doctor has masked his identity from the Family by faking his John Smith persona.]

The Doctor: Oh, I think the explanation might be you've been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection, a little bit like ventriloquism of the nose. It's an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy. [He moves to look at one of the ship's machines] But it has gotta be said: I don't like the look of that hydrokinometer. It seems to be indicating you've got energy feeding back all the way through the retro-stabilisers feeding back into the primary heat converter. [gives a patronising gasp] 'Cos if there's one thing you shouldn't have done, you shouldn't have let me press all those buttons. But, in fairness, I will give you one word of advice: Run!

Son of Mine: [voice-over] He never raised his voice. That was the worst thing -- the fury of the Time Lord. And then we discovered why -- why this Doctor, who had fought with gods and demons, why he had run away from us and hidden: he was being kind.

[We see the fates of the Family as they're described]

He wrapped my father in unbreakable chains forged in the heart of a dwarf star. He tricked my mother into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy to be imprisoned there, forever. He still visits my sister once a year, every year. I wonder if one day he might forgive her, but there she is. Can you see? He trapped her inside a mirror. Every mirror. If ever you look at your reflection and see something move behind you just for a second, that's her. That's always her. As for me, I was suspended in time and the Doctor put me to work standing over the fields of England, as their protector. We wanted to live forever. So the Doctor made sure we did.

Blink [3.10]

(9 June 2007)

Kathy Nightingale: Why did you come here anyway?

Sally Sparrow: I love old things. They make me feel sad.

Kathy Nightingale: What's good about sad?

Sally Sparrow: It's happy for deep people.

The Doctor: This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes "ding!" when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 30 paces, whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

[Larry starts the DVD with the "Easter Egg" video of the Doctor.]

Sally: He's The Doctor.

The Doctor: Yep, that's me.

Sally: Okay, that's scary.

Larry: No, it sounds like he's replying, but he always says that.

The Doctor: Yes I do.

Larry: And that.

The Doctor: Yep, and this.

Sally: He can hear us! Oh, my God, you can really hear us!

Larry: Of course he can't hear us. Look, I've got a transcript, see? Everything he says. "Yep, that's me," "Yes, I do," "Yep, and this," next is...

The Doctor and Larry: [in unison] Are you going to read out the whole thing?

Larry: [sheepishly] Sorry.

The Doctor: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but, actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

The Doctor: Don't turn your head, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!

Sally: Okay, boys. You know how this works. You can't move so long as I can see you.

Hologram of the Doctor: This is security protocol 712. This time capsule has detected the presence of an authorized control disc, valid one journey. Please insert the disc and prepare for departure.

Larry: They're trying to get in!

Sally: Well, hurry up, then!

Larry: What's happening?

Sally: Oh, my god! It's leaving us behind! DOCTOR, NO YOU CAN'T!

Sally: Look at them! Quick! Look at them!

Larry: I don't think we need to! He tricked them! The Doctor tricked them! They're looking at each other! They're never gonna move again!

Utopia [3.11]

(16 June 2007)

Captain Jack: [to Martha] Captain Jack Harkness... and who are you?

Martha: Martha Jones.

Captain Jack: Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.

The Doctor: [Irritated] Oh, don't start!

Captain Jack: I was only saying 'hello'!

Martha: [flattered] I don't mind.

Martha: But the thing is, why'd you leave him behind, Doctor?

The Doctor: [dismissively] I was busy.

Martha: Is that what happens though, seriously? You just get bored of us one day and disappear?

Captain Jack: Not if you're blonde.

Martha: [sarcastically] Oh, she was blonde! Oh, what a surprise!

The Doctor: [spinning around, irritated] You two, we're at the end of the universe. Okay?! Right at the edge of knowledge itself! And you're busy... [struggling to find the right word] BLOGGING!

The Doctor: :[speaking on human evolution and the refugees] Oh, might have spent a million years evolving into clouds of gas... and another million as downloads, but you always revert to the same basic shape: the fundamental human. End of the universe and here you are. Indomitable, that's the word! Indomitable! Ha!

The Doctor: And... Utopia is...?

Professor Yana: Oh, every human knows about Utopia! Where have you been?!

The Doctor: Bit of a hermit.

Professor Yana: A hermit? With... friends?

The Doctor: Hermits United. We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.

The Sound of Drums [3.12]

(23 June 2007)

Albert Dumfries, MP: Excuse me, Prime Minister, but do you mind my asking, what is that?

The Master: [muffled from his gas mask] A gas mask.

Albert: I beg your pardon?

The Master: [lifts gas mask] It's a gas mask. [lowers the mask over his face]

Albert Dumfries, MP: Yes, but why are you wearing it?

The Master: [muffled] Well, because of the gas!

Albert Dumfries, MP: I'm sorry?

The Master: [lifts up his mask] Because of the gas! [lowers it]

Albert Dumfries, MP: What gas?

The Master: [muffled] This gas.

[Toxic gas sprays from the speakers on the table]

Captain Jack: So, Doctor, tell us. Who is he? How come the ancient race of Time Lords created a psychopath?

Martha: Yeah, and what is he to you? Like a colleague or...?

The Doctor: He was a friend, at first...

Martha: I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something.

The Doctor: [pause] You've been watching too much TV.

Captain Jack: But all the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.

The Doctor: Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight, to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of Time and Space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad. Oh, I dunno.

Martha: What about you?

The Doctor: Oh, the ones that ran away! I never stopped.

[Explaining the perception filter on the TARDIS keys.]

The Doctor: [grinning, seemingly ignorant.] Oh! I know what it's like. It's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist. That's what it's like. [he runs off.] Come on!

[Martha looks despairingly after him, then glances at Jack.]

Captain Jack: You too, huh?

Last of the Time Lords [3.13]

(30 June 2007)

There's someone else. The man who sent me out there, the man who told me to walk the Earth. And his name is The Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him, I know him... I love him... And I know what he can do.

Martha: I travelled across the world. From the ruins of New York, to the fusion mills of China, right across the radiation pits of Europe. And everywhere I went I saw people just like you, living as slaves! But if Martha Jones became a legend then that's wrong, because my name isn't important. There's someone else. The man who sent me out there, the man who told me to walk the Earth. And his name is the Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him, I know him... I love him... And I know what he can do.

The Doctor: You wouldn't listen. Because you know what I'm going to say...

[The Master huddles in a corner, hiding his face. The Doctor descends to the ground and puts his arms around the Master soothingly...]

The Doctor: I forgive you.

[The Master has just been shot by his wife]

The Master: Dying in your arms. Happy now?

The Doctor: You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet. Just regenerate.

The Master: No.

The Doctor: One little bullet, come on.

The Master: I guess you don't know me so well. I refuse.

The Doctor: Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please! Just regenerate! Come on!

The Master: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?!

The Doctor: [crying] But you've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. [beginning to cry] Axons, remember the Axons? And the Daleks? We're the only two left. I have no one else. REGENERATE!

The Master: [weakly] How about that? I win! Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?

[The Master dies. The Doctor screams in anguish.]

Jack: [worried] But I keep wondering...what about aging? 'Cause, I can't die, but I keep getting older...The odd little grey hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?

The Doctor: [amused] I really don't know.

Jack: [laughs] Okay, vanity, sorry. Yeah, can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid, living on the Boeshane Peninsula. Tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me...The Face of Boe, they called me. [The Doctor and Martha look at him in shock]

Time Crash

(16 November 2007)

The Tenth Doctor: [Offering his sonic screwdriver.] Need this?

The Fifth Doctor: No, I'm fine.

The Tenth Doctor: Oh, no, of course. You liked to go hands free, didn't you? Like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor. I can save the universe using a kettle and some string. And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

The Tenth Doctor: You know, I loved being you. Back when I first started, at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important — like you do, when you're young. And then, I was you. And it was all dashing about and playing cricket and my voice going all squeaky when I shouted. I still do that, the voice thing, I got that from you. Oh, and the trainers. And... [puts his glasses on] snap! 'Cos you know what, Doctor? You were my Doctor.

[Five beams and tips his hat to his future self.]

The Fifth Doctor: To days to come.

The Tenth Doctor: All my love to long ago. [bows]

Voyage of the Damned [4.X]

(25 December 2007)

[The Doctor stares in disbelief at the ship that has crashed into the TARDIS.]

The Doctor: What? What?!

[He picks a fallen life ring up off the floor. Emblazoned on it is the word: TITANIC.]

The Doctor: What?

Mr. Copper: I shall be taking you to Old London town in the country of UK, ruled over by Good King Wenceslas. Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Eve, the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey. They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner, like savages.

[Knowing full well that that is not the truth, the Doctor raises his hand.]

The Doctor: 'Scuse me? [Mr. Copper looks at him.] Sorry, sorry, but, um... where did you get all this from?

Mr. Copper: Well, I have a First Class Degree in Earthonomics.

Rickston Slade: Hang on a minute. Who put you in charge? And who in the hell are you, anyway?

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm nine hundred and three years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below.

[Everyone looks at him in awe]

The Doctor: You got a problem with that?

Slade: [stunned] ...No.

The Doctor: In that case... allons-y!

Mr. Copper: [on the subject of Christmas] It's a festival of violence! They say that human beings only survive depending on whether they've been good or bad! It's barbaric!

The Doctor: Actually, that's not true. Christmas is a time of, of peace, and thanksgiving, and... ohh, what am I on about? My Christmases are always like this!

[The Doctor is cornered by four Angel Hosts in the kitchen.]

The Doctor: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Security protocol one! Do you hear me? One! One-ah! [The Hosts pause their attack.] OK. That gives me three questions. Three questions to save my life, am I right?

Host: Information: Correct.

The Doctor: No, that wasn't one of them! I didn't mean it! That's not fair! Can I start again?

Host: Information: No.

The Doctor: No! No, no, no, no! That wasn't a question either! Blimey... One question left. One question. All right. So. You've been given orders to kill the survivors but survivors; therefore, must be passengers or staff. But not me. I'm not a passenger, I'm not staff. Go ahead, scan me. [The Hosts do so.] You must have bio-records. No such person on board. I don't exist. Therefore, you can't kill me. Therefore, I'm a stowaway; and stowaways should be arrested and taken to the nearest figure of authority. And I reckon... the nearest figure of authority... is on deck 31. Final question - am I right?

Host: Information: Correct.

The Doctor: Brilliant. Take me to your leader. [excitedly] I've always wanted to say that!

[The bay doors of an advanced chamber on Deck 31 open, revealing the Angel Hosts' authority figure. The Doctor is impressed by the chamber type, as a robotic figure rolls out of it.]

The Doctor: Ohh, that's clever. That's an omni-state impact chamber. Indestructible! You could survive anything in there! You could sit through a supernova... or a shipwreck. Only one person can have the power and the money to hide themselves onboard like this, [sing-song, quoting the advertisement seen before the crash] and I should know, because...

[The robotic figure is revealed as Max Capricorn, now just a head connected to a life-support system.]

Max Capricorn: [smiling fiendishly] My name is Max! [his golden tooth goes ding!, just like in the ad]

The Doctor: [caught off-guard] It really does that?!?

The Doctor: Yes! No... Yes! Your business isn't failing, it's failed. Past-tense.

Max Capricorn: [visibly unhappy by past events] My own board voted me out. Stabbed me in the back!

The Doctor: If you had a back.

The Doctor: What's your first name?

Midshipman Frame: A-Alonso.

The Doctor: You're kidding me!

Midshipman Frame: What?

The Doctor: There's something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonso!

The Doctor: Astrid Peth, citizen of Sto. The woman who looked at the stars and dreamed of travelling. Now you can travel forever. You're not falling, Astrid... You're flying!

Partners in Crime [4.1]

(5 April 2008)

[After spending all day hiding in a toilet stall, Donna emerges, but then gets a call from her mother, and hides back in the stall.]

Donna: Not now!

Sylvia: I need the car. Where is it?

Donna: [whispering] The car went missing!

Sylvia: Why are you whispering?

Donna: I'm in church.

Sylvia: What would you do in church?

Donna: I'm praying.

Sylvia: [scoffs] A bit late for that, I imagine.

The Doctor: [mouthing] Donna?

Donna: [also mouthing] Doctor!

The Doctor: Wha... Wha... What?

Donna: Oh! My! God!

The Doctor: How?

Donna: [pointing at herself] It's me!

The Doctor: I can see that!

Donna: Oh this is brilliant!

The Doctor: What the hell are you doing there?

Donna: You! I was looking for you!

The Doctor: What for?!

Donna: [miming in a surreal sense while the Doctor looks more and more confused] I was reading... on the internet. This place is weird. Crept along... Heard them talking. [She mimes peeking through the window] You! [Donna gestures and looks toward Miss Foster, who is staring at her]

Miss Foster: [out loud] Are we interrupting you?

The Doctor: [mouthing] Run!

Penny: Oi, you two! You're just mad, do you hear me? Mad! And I'm going to report you for... madness!!

The Doctor: With Martha, like I said, it got... complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.

Donna: You just want to mate?!

The Doctor: I just want a mate!

Donna: You're not mating with me, sunshine!

The Doctor: A mate! I want A mate!

Donna: Well, just as well, cos I'm not having any of that nonsense! You're just a long streak of nothing! Alien nothing!

The Fires of Pompeii [4.2]

(12 April 2008)

Lucius Caecilius Iucundus: Who are you?

The Doctor: I am...Spartacus.

Donna: And so am I.

Lucius Caecilius Iucundus: Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?

The Doctor: Oh, no-no-no-no-no, we're not married.

Lucius Caecilius Iucundus: Oh, brother and sister? Yes, of course, you look very much alike.

[The Doctor and Donna look at each other.]

The Doctor/Donna: [together] Really?!

[on announcing that they are to escape into the heart of Mount Vesuvius]

Donna: No way!

The Doctor: Yes way, Appian Way!

[Donna is tied to a sacrificial altar.]

Spurrina: This prattling voice will cease forever!

The Doctor: [sardonically] Oh, that'll be the day.

Spurrina: No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sybil!

[Note: Keep in mind that the original Sybil was a soothsayer.]

The Doctor: Oh that's all right. [mocking] Just us girls. You know, I met the Sybil once. Hell of a woman! Blimey, she could dance a tarantella! Nice teeth... Truth be told, I think she had a bit of a thing for me. I said it would never last, she said "I know". Well, she would. [to Donna, who is still tied to the altar.] You all right there?

Donna: [sarcastic] Oh, never better.

The Doctor: I like the toga.

Donna: Thank you. And the ropes?

The Doctor: Eh, not so much.

Caecillius: [discussing the earthquake of AD 62] After the great earthquake seventeen years ago... An awful lot of damage, but we rebuilt.

The Doctor: Didn't you think of moving away? On, no, then again, San Francisco.

Caecillius: That's a new restaurant in Naples, isn't it?

Donna: But if there's aliens setting off the volcano, doesn't that make it all right? For you to stop it?

The Doctor: Still part of history.

Donna: Well, I'm history to you. You saved me in 2008, you saved us all. Why's that different?

The Doctor: Some things are are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed.

Donna: How do you know which is which?

[The Doctor turns around and looks Donna right in the eye.]

The Doctor: 'Cause that's how I see the universe. Every waking second, I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not. That's the burden of a Time Lord, Donna. And I'm the only one left.

Planet of the Ood [4.3]

(19 April 2008)

[Ood Delta 50 returns to Mr. Bartle and places a binder on his desk]

Mr. Barle: I said military figures. That's the domestic file. [hands back the file]

Delta-Fifty: [slams the file back down on the desk, as he has an onset of Red Eye] The file is irrelevant, sir.

Mr. Bartle: Oh, and why is that?

Delta 50: [kills Mr. Bartle via electrocution from its translator] Have a nice day.

Solana Mercurio: And you would be...

The Doctor: The Doctor and Donna Noble.

Donna Noble: Representing the Noble Corporation, PLC Limited, Intergalactic.

Solana Mercurio: Must have fallen off my list. My apologies, it won't happen again. Now then, Dr Noble, Mrs Noble, if you'd like to come with me.

The Doctor: Oh, no, no, no. We're not married.

Donna Noble: We're so not married.

The Doctor: Never.

Donna Noble: Never ever.

Solana Mercurio: I'd now like to point out a new innovation from Ood Operations. We've introduced a variety package with the Ood Translator Ball. You can now have the "Standard Setting". [to Ood 1] How are you today, Ood?

Ood 1: [ordinary Ood voice] I'm perfectly well, thank you.

Solana: Or perhaps, after a stressful day, a little something for the gentlemen. [to Ood 2] And how are you, Ood?

Ood 2: [husky female voice] All the better for seeing you.

Solana: And the "Comedy Classic" option. [to Ood 3] Ood, you've dropped something.

Ood 3: [voice of Homer Simpson] D'oh!

Ood Sigma: Will you stay? There is room in the song for you.

The Doctor: Oh, I've, I've... sort of got a song of my own, thanks.

Ood Sigma: I think your song must end soon.

The Doctor: [unnerved by this] Meaning?

Ood Sigma: Every song must end.

The Sontaran Stratagem [4.4]

(26 April 2008)

The Doctor: Name?

General Staal: General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet. "Staal The Undefeated!"

The Doctor: Oh that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? "Staal The Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind"?

The Doctor: Ross, just one question: If UNIT think that ATMOS is dodgy...

Private Ross: How come we've got it in the jeeps? Tell me about it. They're fitted as standard on all government vehicles. Can't get rid of them until we prove something's wrong.

ATMOS Navigation System: Turn right.

Private Ross: Drives me around the bend.

The Doctor: [noticing they are indeed driving around a bend] Oh, nice one!

Private Ross: Timed that perfectly!

Martha: Donna, do they know where you are? I mean, your family, that you're travelling with the Doctor?

Donna: Not really, although my granddad sort of waved us off. I didn't have time to explain.

Martha: You just left him behind?

Donna: Yeah.

Martha: I didn't tell my family. I kept it all so secret, and it almost destroyed them.

Donna: In what way?

Martha: They ended up imprisoned. They were tortured, my mum, my dad, my sister. It wasn't the Doctor's fault, but you need to be careful, because you know the Doctor's wonderful and he's brilliant, but he's like fire. Stand too close, and people get burned.

The Poison Sky [4.5]

(3 May 2008)

Colonel Mace: Latest firing stock. What do you think, Doctor?

Doctor: [wearing a gas mask] Are you my mummy?

Colonel Mace: [annoyed] If you could concentrate...

Staal: The planet is going nuclear! I admire them; the bravery of idiots is bravery nonetheless!

Staal: You impugn my honour, sir.

The Doctor: Yeah, I'm really glad you didn't say belittle, 'cos then I'd have had a field day.

Commander Skorr: [as the UNIT forces flee the factory] This isn't war! This is sport! [chuckles]

Martha (Clone): [having trouble speaking] My heart... is getting slower.

Martha: [apologetic] There's nothing I can do.

Martha (Clone): In your mind you've got so many plans. There's so much that you want to do.

Martha: And I will. "Never do tomorrow what you can do today," my mum says, "'Cos—

Martha (Clone): [finishing the quote] —"'Cos you never know how long you've got, Martha Jones... all that life..."

[Her heart finally gives out; the Clone's head drops as she dies.]

The Doctor's Daughter [4.6]

Hello, Dad.

(10 May 2008)

[While the TARDIS is spinning out of control.]

The Doctor: I don't know where we're going, but my old hand's very excited about it!

Donna Noble: I thought that was some bloody alien thing! You're telling me it's yours?!

The Doctor: Well...

Martha Jones: It got cut off. He grew a new one!

Donna Noble: You are completely impossible!

The Doctor: Not impossible. Just a bit unlikely.

[The Doctor's hand is forced into a machine.]

The Doctor: It's taken a tissue sample, and extrapolated it. Some kind of accelerator?

Donna: Are you alright?

The Doctor: Well that, that's just... [Jenny appears out of the machine]

Cline: [handing Jenny a weapon] Arm yourself.

Donna: Where did she come from?

The Doctor: From me.

Donna: From you? How? Who is she?

The Doctor: Well, she's... Well, she's my daughter.

Jenny: [smiling] Hello, Dad. [cocks gun]

Donna: [to Jenny, about the Doctor] He saves planets, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures... and runs a lot. Seriously, there is an outrageous amount of running involved.

The Doctor: You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up "genocide". You'll find a little picture of me there, and the caption'll read "Over my dead body".

[The Doctor grabs a gun, walks over to General Cobb and points the gun at his head]

The Doctor: I never would. Have you got that? I... never... would. When you start this new world, this world of Human and Hath, remember that. Make the foundation of this society a man who never would!

The Unicorn and the Wasp [4.7]

(17 May 2008)

[The TARDIS materializes outside a country estate.]

The Doctor: [Stepping out of the TARDIS] Ah! Smell that air! Grass and lemonade! And a little bit of mint. Just a hint of mint. Must be the 1920s.

Donna: You can tell what year it is just by smelling?

The Doctor: Oh, yeah.

Donna: Or, maybe, that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.

[In the library. Professor Peach is confronted by a figure in the shadows.]

Professor Peach: I say, what are you doing with that lead piping?! It can't be! [The mysterious person bludgeons the luckless professor with the lead pipe.]

Agatha Christie: You make a rather unusual couple.

The Doctor: Oh, no-no-no-no, we're not married.

Donna Noble: [at the same time] Yeah, we're not a couple.

Agatha Christie: Well, obviously not. No wedding ring.

[Donna and the Doctor exchange admiring glances.]

The Doctor: Oh, oh! You don't miss a trick.

Donna: It's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie!

The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.

Donna: I know but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. That's like meeting Charles Dickens surrounded by ghosts at Christmas!

Doctor: Well...

Donna: Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy! Could we? Noddy's not real—is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!

The Doctor: There's no Noddy.

Donna: When I say "giant", I don't mean "big". I mean "FLIPPIN' ENORMOUS"!

The Doctor: Salt! I was miming salt! I need salt! I need something salty!

Donna: [showing him a bag] What about this?

The Doctor: What is it?!

Donna: Salt!

The Doctor: That's too salty!

Donna: [mocking him] Oh, that's too salty!

Silence in the Library [4.8]

(31 May 2008)

The Doctor: The Library. So big it doesn't need a name, just a great big "The".

[Donna takes a book in her hands, but the Doctor takes it away from her immediately]

The Doctor: Spoilers!

Donna: What?

The Doctor: These books are from your future. If you read ahead, it will spoil all the surprises. Like peeping at the end.

Donna: Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?

The Doctor: I try to keep you away from major plot developments. Which, to be honest, I seem to be really bad at.

The Doctor: Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists.

River Song: Got a problem with archaeologists?

The Doctor: I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

The Doctor: Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark, but they're wrong, because it's not irrational. It's Vashta Nerada.

Donna: What's "Vashta Nerada?"

The Doctor: It's what's in the dark. It's what's always in the dark.

Forest of the Dead [4.9]

(7 June 2008)

Strackman Lux: Oh, for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you, we're all going to die here and you're just squabbling [[Eleventh_Doctor#The_Wedding_of_River_Song_[6:13]|like an old married couple]]!

[The Doctor and Professor River Song look at each other in emotional surprise.]

Vashta Nerada: These are our forests, they are our meat. [Spreads out to attack the Doctor]

The Doctor: Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked and that is not a safe place to stand! [The Vashta Nerada continue to spread] I'm the Doctor and you're in the biggest Library in the universe. Look me up.

Vashta Nerada: [retreating] You have one day.

The Doctor: Why am I handcuffed? Why would you even have handcuffs?

River Song: [Playfully flirtatious] Spoilers.

River Song [speaking to the handcuffed Doctor, as she realizes she must sacrifice her own life to keep the Doctor from sacrificing his]: Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you, the real you — the future you, I mean — you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the singing towers. Oh, what a night that was! The towers sang, and you cried. You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the Library. You even gave me your screwdriver; that should've been a clue. [The Doctor tries unsuccessfully to reach their sonic screwdrivers] There's nothing you can do.

The Doctor: You can let me do this!

River Song: If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you!

The Doctor: Time can be rewritten!

River Song: Not those times. Not one line! Don't you dare! It's OK. It's OK, it's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run!

[River starts to weep.]

The Doctor: River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear! There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could...

River Song: [Smiling sweetly at the Doctor as the countdown reaches zero] Hush, now... Spoilers!

River Song: [Voice-over, as the Doctor and Donna walk away] When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.

[The Doctor runs back and picks up River's sonic screwdriver]

The Doctor: Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver? Why would I do that? The thing is, future me had years to think about it. All those years to think of a way to save her, and what he did was give her a screwdriver! Why would I do that?! [peels back a panel to reveal a set of green lights like on the suits, realizing why his future self has given River the screwdriver] Oh, oh, oh! Look at that! I'm very good!

Donna: What have you done?

The Doctor: Saved her! [runs with River's consciousness in the screwdriver] Stay with me! You can do it! Stay with me! Come on!! You and me, one last run!

Midnight [4.10]

(14 June 2008)

The Doctor: Ah, I'll be fine. Taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight... What could possibly go wrong?

Hostess: Please be aware some contents may contain nuts.

The Doctor: That'll be the peanuts.

The Doctor and Sky Silvestry: Roast beef. Bananas. The Medusa Cascade. Bang! [Rapidfire] Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, TARDIS! Shamble-bobble-dibble-dooble. Oh, Doctor, you're so handsome. Yes, I am, thank you.

Turn Left [4.11]

(21 June 2008)

Private Harris: We found a body, sir. Over.

UNIT Command: Is it him? Over.

Private Harris: I think so. He just didn't make it out in time. [As the stretcher is lifted, a limp hand falls to the side, dropping a sonic screwdriver] The Doctor is dead. Must have happened too fast for him to regenerate.

Rose Tyler: Just remember: when you get to the junction, change the car's direction by one minute past ten.

Donna: How do I do that?

Rose Tyler: That's up to you.

Donna: Well, I just have to run up to myself and have a good argument.

Rose Tyler: I'd like to see that!

Donna: [remembering Rose in her parallel world] But she told me... to warn you. She said two words...

The Doctor: What two words? What were they? What did she say?

Donna: Bad Wolf.

[The Doctor looks incredibly panicked]

Donna: W-What does it mean?

[Without responding to her, The Doctor immediately rushes out of the fortune teller's shop to see any and every visible text rendered as "Bad Wolf". Horrified, he runs to his TARDIS, only to find that it too displays only the words "Bad Wolf". He enters the TARDIS, which is bathed in a red light and is ringing the Cloister Bell.]

Donna: Doctor, what is it? What's Bad Wolf?

The Doctor: It's the end of the universe!

The Stolen Earth [4.12]

(28 June 2008)

Rose: [walks into an electronics store when two people are looting it] Right! You two! You can put that stuff down, or run for your lives. [powers up her big gun] Do you like my gun? [The looters take one look and leg it]

Mr Smith: I'm receiving a communication from the Earth-bound ships. They have a message for the human race.

Sarah Jane Smith: Put it through. Let's hear it.

Daleks: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!

[The transmission continues. Jack Harkness, Sarah Jane Smith and Martha Jones all hear it, and react in horror.]

Jack: No. Ohhh, no!

Gwen: What is it? Who are they? Do you know them, Jack?!

Sarah Jane Smith: [whispers] No...

Jack: [clutching Ianto and Gwen to him and kissing them on the forehead] There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry, we're dead.

Sarah Jane Smith: [crying] No, not them. You're so young! [hugs Luke]

Harriet Jones: Captain, I'm transferring the subwave network to Torchwood. You're in charge now. And tell the Doctor from me: he chose his companions well. It's been an honour. [Three Daleks break in. Harriet stands up, dignified, and faces the Daleks] Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister!

Daleks: Yes, we know who you are.

Harriet Jones: Oh, you know nothing of any human, and that will be your downfall. [dies]

[The Doctor gets shot. Rose keeps running towards him. Jack appears and shoots the Dalek.]

Rose: [cradling the Doctor] I've got you. I missed you. Look, it's me, Doctor!

The Doctor: [weakened and in pain] Rose! Long time, no see!

Rose: Yeah, well, I've been busy, you know...

[Rose looks distraught. Captain Jack pulls her away.]

Jack: Here we go! Good luck, Doctor!

[The Doctor, wracked with pain, hauls himself on to the TARDIS control panel.]

Donna: [hysterical] Will someone please tell me what is going on?!

Rose: When he's dying, his body... it repairs itself, it changes... but you can't!

The Doctor: I'm sorry, it's too late! I'm regenerating! [his head snaps back as the regeneration energy blasts out of his arms and head]

Journey's End [4.13]

I just want you to know, there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble. A thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. But for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.

(5 July 2008)

Donna: It's you!

The New Doctor: Oh, yes.

Donna: [awkwardly looking to her side] You're naked!

The New Doctor: Oh, yes.

Dalek Caan: The Doctor's soul is finally revealed. [laughs sinisterly] See him. See the heart of him. [laughs some more]

Davros: The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun. But this is the truth, Doctor. You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this.

The Doctor: They're trying to help.

Davros: Already I have seen them sacrifice today for their beloved Doctor. The Earth woman who fell opening the Subwave Network.

The Doctor: Who was that?

Rose: Harriet Jones. She gave her life to get you here.

[Flashback]

Davros: How many more? Just think! How many have died in your name?

[Several flashbacks - Jabe, the Controller, Lynda Moss, Sir Robert MacLeish, Angela Price, Colin Skinner, Bridget Sinclair, Ursula Blake, the Face of Boe, Chantho, Luke Rattigan, Jenny, River Song, and the Hostess]

Davros: The Doctor. The man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you... yourself.

The Doctor: Davros, come with me! I promise I can save you!

Davros: Never forget, Doctor, you did this! I name you forever! You are the destroyer of worlds!

The Doctor: [positioning the others around the console] Sarah, hold that. Mickey, you hold that. 'Cos you know why this TARDIS is always rattling about the place? Rose: that, there. It's designed to have six pilots and I have to do it single-handed- Martha, keep that level- But not any more! Jack, there you go, steady that. Now we can fly this thing- N-no, Jackie, no, no, not you. Don't touch anything, just... stand back. Like it's meant to be flown! We got the Torchwood rift looped around the TARDIS by Mr Smith. We are gonna fly Planet Earth back home. Right, then, off we go.

The Doctor: I just want you to know, there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble. A thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. [visibly upset] But for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.

Sylvia: She still is. [insistently] She's my daughter!

The Doctor: Then maybe you should tell her that once in a while!

Wilf: I'll watch out for you, son.

The Doctor: [insistent] You can't ever tell her!

Wilf: No, no—but every night, Doctor, when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky, and think of you.

The Doctor: Thank you.

The Next Doctor [4.14]

(25 December 2008)

The "Next" Doctor: I'm the Doctor! Simply "the Doctor"! The one, the only, and the best! [winks] Rosita, hand me the sonic screwdriver!

The Tenth Doctor: The what?

The "Next" Doctor: Now quickly, get back to the TARDIS.

The Tenth Doctor: Back to the what?

The "Next" Doctor: [gesturing for the Doctor to move back] If you could stand back, sir, this is a job for a Time Lord.

The Tenth Doctor: Job for a what-lord?

[A Cybershade bursts through the door.]

The Tenth Doctor: Oh, that's different. [reaches into his coat]

The "Next" Doctor: [at the same time as the Doctor] Oh, that's new.

Both Doctors: [brandishing sonic screwdrivers silmultaneously] Allons-y!

[Both Doctors turn to each other incredulously]

The "Next" Doctor: It's strange, though. I talk of Cybermen... from the stars... and you don't blink, Mr. Smith.

The Doctor: Ah, don't blink, whatever you do, don't blink, remember that? The blinking and the statues and... Sally and the angels? No?

The "Next" Doctor: You're a very odd man.

The Doctor: Mmm... I still am.

The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.

Cyberman: Incorrect: You do not correspond to our image of the Doctor.

The Doctor: Yeah, but that's cause your database got corrupted. Oh, look, look, look. Check this. [produces an infostamp] The Doctor's info stamp. [throws it at the Cyberman, who catches it in mid-air and opens and examines the core] Plug it in, go on, download.

Cyberman: The core has been damaged. This info stamp would damage Cyber units.

The Doctor: [defeated] Ah, well, nice try!

Cyberman: The core has been repaired. [The Cyberman plugs the infostamp into its chest. It sees various images of the Tenth Doctor] You are the Doctor.

The Doctor: [happily] Hello!

Cyberman: You will be deleted!

Planet of the Dead [4.15]

(11 April 2009)

The Doctor: Come on, allons-y!

Lady Christina de Souza: Oui, mais pas si nous allons vers un cauchemar. ["Yes, but not if we're going into a nightmare."]

The Doctor: [impressed] Oh, we were made for each other!

Captain Erisa Magambo: [on the phone] Doctor, this is Captain Erisa Magambo. [salutes] Might I say, sir, it's an honour.

The Doctor: Did you just salute?

Capt. Magambo: [embarrassed] No.

Carmen: You take care now, Doctor.

The Doctor: You, too! Chops and gravy, lovely!

Carmen: No, but you be careful, because your song is ending, sir.

The Doctor: [visibly unnerved] What do you mean?

Carmen: It is returning, it is returning through the dark. And then Doctor... oh, but then... he will knock four times.

The Waters of Mars [4.16]

(19 December 2009)

Adelaide: [Pointing her gun at the Doctor] State your name, rank, and intention!

The Doctor: The Doctor. Doctor. Fun.

Tarak: What the hell? It's a man. A man on Mars! How?

Steffi: He was wearing this thing. (His orange spacesuit) I have never seen anything like it.

Tarak: What did Mission Control say?

Steffi: They're out of range for ten hours with the solar flares.

Adelaide: If we could cut the chat, everyone.

The Doctor: Actually, chat's second on my list, the first being gun pointed at my head. Which then puts my head second and chat third, I think. Gun, head, chat, yeah. I hate lists. But you could hurt someone with that thing. Just put it down.

Adelaide: Oh, you'd like that.

The Doctor: Can you find me someone who wouldn't?

Adelaide: Why should I trust you?

The Doctor: Because I give you my word. And forty million miles away from home, my word is all you've got.

Andy: [Holding a pair of carrots he's just washed] The very first garden off Earth. Everything brand new. Eden. That's what we should have called this place. [Takes a bite of one of the carrots]

Maggie: It's the Philippines. I bet. If there's someone else on Mars, it's got to be the Philippines. All those stories about them building a rocket. Adelaide's going to love that. Stealing her thunder. Mind you, worth it to see her face. [Behind her back, Andy starts jerking] Or it could be the Spanish. They kept that Spacelink project under wraps. Didn't your sister work for them? [Sees Andy on his knees completely still] Are you all right, mate? Come on, stop mucking about. Andy? Are you okay?

[Andy turns around, revealing that his eyes are white and the skin around his mouth has grey cracks in it and water is dribbling out. Maggie screams]

Adelaide: [The Flood] can't be stopped! Don't die with us!

The Doctor: No, 'cos someone told me just recently, they said I was going to die. They said, "he will knock four times," and I think I know what that means, and it doesn't mean right here, right now, 'cos I don’t hear anyone knocking, do you?

[The Flood-possessed Andy, in response, knocks three times on the door in response]

The Doctor: Three knocks is all you're getting! [electrifies the door] Water and electricity: bad mix! Now then what else have we got?

Adelaide: But there’s no way to fight them!

The Doctor: Heat! They use water; we can use heat! Works against the Ice Warriors, works against the Flood. Ramp up the environment controls and steam them!

Adelaide: But you said we die! For the future! for the human race!

The Doctor: But there are laws. There are laws of time. Once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws, but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realise the laws of time are mine, and they will obey me!

The Doctor: We're not just fighting the Flood, we're fighting Time itself! And I'm gonna win!

Adelaide: No one should have that much power!

The Doctor: Tough.

Adelaide: [nervous] You should have left us there.

The Doctor: Adelaide, I've done this sort of thing before. In small ways, save some little people, but never someone as important as you-oh, I'm good!

Adelaide: [furious] "Little people"!? What, like Mia and Yuri? Who decides they're so unimportant!? You!?

The Doctor: [cold and triumphant] For a long time now, I thought I was just a survivor, but I'm not. I'm the winner! That's who I am. The Time Lord Victorious!

Adelaide: And there's no one to stop you?

The Doctor: No.

Adelaide: [disgusted] This is wrong, Doctor! I don't care who you are: the Time Lord Victorious is wrong!

The Doctor: [arrogantly] That's for me to decide.

[Adelaide has killed herself to prevent the Doctor from altering time. A projection of Ood Sigma appears before the Doctor.]

The Doctor: I've gone too far. Is this it? My death? Is it time!?

[Sigma fades away. The Doctor enters the TARDIS, and the Cloister Bell sounds].

The Doctor: [defiantly] No!

The End of Time [4.17–4.18]

(25 December 2009 - 1 January 2010)

Narrator: It is said that in the final days of planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams. To the west of the north of that world, the human race did gather, in celebration of a pagan rite to banish the dark and the cold. Each and everyone of those people had dreamt of the terrible things to come, but they forgot... because they must. They forgot their nightmares of fire and war and insanity. They forgot, except for one...

The Doctor: Ah, now! Sorry, there you are. So, where we? I was summoned, wasn't I? The Ood in the snow, calling to me. Well, I didn't just have to come straight here; had a bit of fun. You know, traveled about, did this and that, got into trouble, you know me. But it was brilliant. I saw the phosphorous carousel of the Great Magellan Gestadt, saved a planet from the Red Carnivorous Maw, named a galaxy Alison. Got married! That was a mistake. Good Queen Bess. And let me tell you, her nickname is no longer-- [clears throat] anyway, what do you want?

Ood Sigma: You should not have delayed.

The Doctor: Last time I was here, you said my song would be ending soon. And I'm in no hurry for that.

Ood Sigma: You will come with me.

The Doctor: Hold on. Better lock the TARDIS. [points the TARDIS key at the TARDIS, which chirps like a sports car as its light flashes. He looks back at Ood Sigma] Eh? Like a car. I l— locked it, like a car. [Ood Sigma looks unamused] That's... funny. No? Little bit? [exhales] Blimey, trying to make an Ood laugh...

The Doctor: [bluntly] I'm going to die.

Wilfred: Well, so am I one day.

The Doctor: Don't you dare!

Wilfred: Alright, I'll try not to! [chuckles]

The Doctor: But I was told: "He will knock four times". That was the prophecy: knock four times and then...

Wilfred: Yeah, but I thought, when I saw you before, your people could change like your whole body...

The Doctor: I can still die. If I'm killed before regeneration, then I'm dead. Even then, even if I change, it feels like dying. Everything I am dies. Some new man goes sauntering away... and I'm dead.

Narrator: And so it came to pass that the players took their final places, making ready the events that were to come. [The Master sits alone in an abandoned warehouse, gnawing on a bone] The madman, sat in his empire of dust and ashes, little knowing of the glory he would achieve, [The Doctor is shown outside, looking into the warehouse] while his saviour looked upon the wilderness, in the hope of changing his inevitable fate. [Cuts to Joshua and Abigail Naismith, drinking champagne and observing the Immortaility Gate] Far away, the idiots and fools dreamt of a shining new future... a future now doomed to never happen. As Earth rolled onwards into night, the people of that world did sleep, and shiver, somehow knowing that dawn would bring only one thing: the final day!

Narrator: And so it came to pass on Christmas Day, that the human race did cease to exist. But even then, the Master had no concept of his role in greater events. For this was far more than humanity's end! This was the day upon which the whole of creation would change forever!

[The Narrator is revealed to be Lord President of the Time Lords, addressing the Panopticon, packed with fellow Time Lords.]

Lord President: This was the day... the Time Lords returned. For Gallifrey!

Time Lords: For Gallifrey!

Lord President: For victory!

Time Lords: For victory!

Lord President: For the end of Time itself!

Time Lords: For the end of Time itself!

The Doctor: It's not that I'm an innocent. I've taken lives. I got worse, I got clever. Manipulated people into taking their own. Sometimes, I think a Time Lord lives too long...

Rassilon: Now the High Council of Time Lords must vote whether we die here today, or return to the waking world and complete the Ultimate Sanction. For this is the hour when either Gallifrey falls, or... Gallifrey rises!

Time Lords: Gallifrey rises!

Rassilon: Gallifrey rises!

The Doctor: There's an old Earth saying, Captain. A phrase of great power and wisdom and consolation to the soul in times of need.

Addams: What's that, then?

The Doctor: [shouts] Allons-y!!

[Wilf is trapped in a control booth. He knocks four times, unknowingly reminding the Doctor of the prophecy of his death]

Wilf: They gone, then? Yeah, good-o. If you could, uh, let me out?

The Doctor:: [quiet, choked] Yeah.

Wilf: Only, this thing seems to be making a bit of a noise.

The Doctor: The Master... left the Nuclear Bolt running. It's gone into overload.

Wilf: And that's bad, is it?

The Doctor: No... because all the excess radiation gets vented inside there. Vinvocci glass contains it. All five hundred thousand rads, about to flood that thing.

Wilf: Oh. Well, you'd better let me out, then.

The Doctor: Except it's gone critical. Touch one control, and it floods. [holding up the sonic screwdriver] Even this would set it off.

Wilf: I'm sorry.

The Doctor: [quietly] Sure.

Wilf: Look, just leave me.

The Doctor: [angrily walking around the room] Okay, right, then, I will. 'Cos you just had to go in there, didn't you?! You had to go and get stuck, oh yes! Because that's who you are, Wilfred. You were always this. Waiting for me, all this time.

Wilf: Oh, really, just leave me. I'm an old man, Doctor, I've had my time.

The Doctor: [still angry] Well, exactly, look at you! Not remotely important! But me... I could do so much more! So much more! But this is what I get, my reward. And it's not fair! [pushes papers off a table in an outburst, but then looks back at Wilfred, remorseful and resigned] Oh... lived too long... [walks towards the booth]

Wilf: [realizing what he means to do] No. No, no, please, please don't. No, don't, don't! Please don't! Please!

The Doctor: Wilfred... it's my honour. [enters the booth] Better be quick: three, two, one...

[The Doctor locks his booth, letting Wilf out, and collapses in agony as his body absorbs the radiation]

Ood Sigma: We will sing to you, Doctor. The universe will sing you to your sleep. This song is ending, but the story never ends.

The Doctor: [Last words in his 10^th incarnation]: I don't want to go.

The Day of the Doctor

(23 November 2013)

[England 1562, The Doctor and Elizabeth I stride out of The TARDIS on a horse]

The Tenth Doctor: Allons-y! There you go, Your Majesty, what did I tell you? Bigger on the inside!

Elizabeth I: The door isn't. You nearly took my head off. It's normally me that does that.

The Tenth Doctor: Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm 904 years old. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am The Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness and you are basically just a rabbit, aren't you?

The Tenth Doctor: [comparing sonic screwdrivers] Compensating?

The Eleventh Doctor: For what?

The Tenth Doctor: Regeneration. It's a lottery.

The Tenth Doctor: (observing the Eleventh Doctor's TARDIS) Oooh, you've redecorated! (pause) I don't like it.

Clara: You told me the name you chose was a promise. What was the promise?

The Tenth Doctor: Never cruel or cowardly.

War Doctor: Never give up, never give in.

The Tenth Doctor: Trenzalore... We need a new destination, 'cos... I don't want to go.

[The Tenth Doctor leaves in his TARDIS.]

The Eleventh Doctor: He always says that.