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The following is a list of quotes from the first season of the 2012 series, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Rise of the Turtles

Part 1 [1.01]

Splinter: [after Raphael wins a sparring contest] Yame! You all did very well.
Raph: But I did better.
Splinter: This is about self-improvement, Raphael, it is not about winning and losing.
Raph: I know, sensei, but I won and they lost. [Splinter pinches a painful pressure point on Raph's neck] Aah, aah, aah! But, what's really important is that we all did our best. GOOD JOB, EVERYONE!
Splinter: Heh, heh, heh.
Splinter: You were not fully prepared for what was up there. I trained you to fight as individuals, not as a team. And as your teacher, your father, the responsibility for that is mine. Perhaps in another year we can try again.
Donnie: A another year!? Has everybody forgotten that people were kidnapped!? They don't have a year! Sensei, we have to do something now! You weren't there, Sensei. You didn’t see the way that girl looked into my eyes. She was scared and she's counting on me- I mean us- to save her.
[Splinters turns to stare at the black-and-white picture of himself, his wife Tang Shen, and their infant daughter Miwa]
Splinter: Yes. You must save her.
Leo: I agree, Sensei, but in that fight we weren't actually a well-oiled machine.
Mikey: Like that robot with the brain thingy.
Raph: Give it a rest.

Part 2 [1.02]

The Turtles: Whoa.
Leo: So is that the...?
Donnie: mutagen that turned us all into what we are now.
Mikey: Lets drink some!
Raph: What!? Why would you do that!?
Mikey: 'Cause if you mutate a mutant, you get a super mutant.
Donnie: Or a pile of goo on the sidewalk.
Raph: Either way, it's an improvement.
Leo: Guys, this is huge. Whoever kidnapped those people are somehow connected to what happened to us 15 years ago.
Leo: There's so much riding on this. What if something goes wrong?
Splinter: Failure is a possibility all leaders must face, Leonardo. It is something I had to face in Japan during my battle with my old enemy, the Shredder. Years ago, Oroku Saki, as Shredder was called then, had been my friend. But the love of a woman came between us. He could not accept it and his jealously turned outward in a vengeful attack. And although he could not defeat me that day, my world burned and crumbled around me, as the battle took the life of my beloved Tang Shen. And I lost my baby daughter, Miwa.
Leo: But that's my point, Sensei. You lost everything.
Splinter: I lost many things - my family, my home, my name. But I gained many things as well, like the 4 of you.
Leo: Don't worry. We can do this.

Turtle Temper [1.03]

Splinter: Not only did Raphael alert the Kraang, but you got caught... on video!!
Raph: Sensei, he was the angriest, nastiest guy you ever met!
Mikey: Except for you.
Raph: You should've heard the insults this guy was throwing at us! They were so...insulting!
Splinter: Oh, I did not realize he said mean things! Of course, you had no choice but to jeopardize your mission! You are ninjas. You work in the shadows, in secret. This becomes difficult if there is proof of your existence in high definition!
Raph: Look, we know where this guy lives! All we gotta do is find him and shake him 'till the tape pops out!
Donnie: Oh, there's no tape! Video phones use flash memory and...! (Raph glares)
Splinter: Anger is self-destructive.
Raphael: I always thought it was others-destructive.
Splinter: Raphael! Stand up!
Raph: You understand me, don't you, Spike? Chew on your leaf if you understand me. [Spike chews on leaf] Yeah, I thought so.
Splinter: [Suddenly appearing behind him] I understand you, too.
Raph: Seriously, you gotta knock or something!
Splinter: Let me tell you a story.
Raph: Sensei, I'm not really in the mood for a story.
Splinter: Spike, chew on your leaf if you're in the mood for a story. [Spike chews on leaf] Very well. When I was a young man, I fell in love with a woman.
Raph: Oh, is it that late already? [Tries to leave]
Splinter: Sit! [Raph sits down and he continues] Her name was Tang Shen, and I was not the only one who loved her. There was another man competing for her attention: Oroku Saki.
Raph: Shredder.
Splinter: One day, he insulted me in front of her. He called me many things. I felt I couldn't let those insults go unanswered. I lost my temper, and over time, our rivalry festered into hatred. Until Shredder sought to finish me, and I lost my beloved Tang Shen.
Raph: But it wasn't your fault. Shredder insulted you. You had no choice!
Splinter: No choice? I could have chosen to ignore him. I could have chosen to let his words wash over me, like a river over stone. But I let him anger me. It was I who turned his words into weapons. That was the choice I made. What choice will you make?

New Friend, Old Enemy [1.04]

Raphael: Are you an idiot? Wait, let me rephrase that. You're an idiot!
Donatello: You can't show yourself to a human.
Michelangelo: Why not?
Don: Because they'll freak the heck out, that's why not.
Mikey: No they won't. I'm not so scary.
Raph: You're an ugly, green mutant armed with ninja weapons.
Mikey: Look, this guy is gonna see that I'm just a regular cat-loving dude like him. We'll be best buds! This is gonna be awesome!
[jumps down, despite his brother's protests, to the owner of the cat's balcony]
Mikey: Hi! Here's your--
Cat Owner: Gah! Ugly, green mutant freak!
Mikey: But I got your cat!
Cat Owner: Help! He's got my cat!
Splinter: Where did you learn that!?
Leo: Mikey learned it from his new friend.
Splinter: The man who taught him that kata is no friend! It comes from the Shredder.
Donnie: Shredder?
Leo: You mean Bradford is one of his students?
Splinter: He must be!
Leo: So Bradford's just pretending to be Mikey's friend to get to you!
Raph: Oh, man. Everything makes sense again. Mikey's in trouble!

I Think His Name is Baxter Stockman [1.05]

Splinter: How many times have I told you 'not to skateboard in the lair'?!
Michelangelo: None, Sensei.
Splinter: I shouldn't have to tell you!
Mikey: Excuse me, Sensei, but ninjas never had to go up against guys in armor. [Sees paintings] Oh, I mean ninjas always had to go up against guys in armor.
Raph: Nice save.
Leo: Sensei, what was their secret?
Splinter: They understood that you do not fight the armor, you fight the man inside.
Mikey: [Turtles stare at him who looks at them] Why are we all looking at each other?

Metalhead [1.06]

[Splinter brings Donatello a new Bo-Staff]
Raphael: Look, Spike. Donnie got a new stick to break.
Don: With all due respect Sensei, I can't keep fighting alien technology with a six-foot staff. I was hoping to upgrade my weapon.
Splinter: Hm... a seven foot staff. Interesting.
Donnie: No, I meant using modern technology.
Splinter: Ah, a solar-powered staff.
Donnie: I'm serious, sensei.
Splinter: I know. And yes you may upgrade your weapon.
Donnie: That's totally unfair! You can't just--Did you just say yes?
Splinter: Ninjas have improved their arsenal for decades. We are masters of adaptation.
Donnie: [Watching April through the monitor] Look at her. She's so beautiful. On this monitor, she can't even tell I'm staring.
April: You do know that's not muted, right?
Metalhead (Donnie): Ahh! Of course. I mean, if it was muted, you couldn't hear me joking. [Smacks his head and presses a button on the controls. Metalhead's megaphone activates] Man, I hope she bought that.
April: That's the megaphone.
Metalhead (Donnie): [With the megaphone] I know![Turns megaphone off] So, how do you think the fight's going?

Monkey Brains [1.07]

April: Careful, Donnie, that's a dangerous mutant!
Donatello: That makes two of us!
Splinter: April, it seems you have a rare gift - a sensitivity I have trained my entire life to develop. I would like to train you to be a kunoichi, a female ninja.
April: Wow. That's quite an honor. If I do this, does that mean I can kick everybody's butt?
Splinter: We do not believe in using our abilities that way.
April: Oh, sure. But I could, right?
Splinter: Yes. But it will the most difficult challenge you have ever faced. It will drain you physically, mentally and spiritually.
April: Can't be worse than high school.

Never Say Xever [1.08]

Donatello: Are you saying turtles are slow?
Michelangelo: That's a hurtful stereotype.
Leonardo: Trust us, April, we are better keeping a low profile. We figured out people treat us better if they don't know we exist.
April: Sorry, I'm just so excited to finally get you out of the sewer for a change.
Raphael: What are you talking about? We go out all the time.
April: Yeah, but tonight your gonna do something besides hitting people.
Raph: [disappointed] Awe...
April: Don't worry. You're going to love this noodle place a found.
Don: [nervous] And you're sure we'll be welcome?
April: Oh, yeah, Mr. Murakami doesn't care what you look like. In fact, he won't even know what you look like. He's blind.
Mikey: Awesome! [Raph slaps him] I mean, for us, obviously.

The Gauntlet [1.09]

Shredder: Your skills are impressive. But they will not save you.
Donatello: Oh, man. You think that's the Shredder?
Raphael: Well, it's definitely a Shredder.
Shredder: There is undoubtedly a fascinating story as to how my old nemesis came to teach ninjitsu to four mutant turtles. Perhaps I will one of you live long enough to tell it.
Leonardo: You're gonna have to catch us first! Mikey!?
Mikey: So long, sucker!
Splinter: You were all very lucky.
Raph: I think we define that word differently, Sensei.
Mikey: He was just so fast.
Donnie: It was like he was everywhere at once.
Leo: You were right about us being overconfident, Sensei. There's just some things we're not ready for.
Splinter: Shredder knows I'm alive, and worse, he knows about you. It's my worst nightmare come true. Prepare yourself, my sons. We are at war.

Panic in the Sewers [1.10]

Donatello: [Panting, turns to Master Splinter] Sensei, can we rest for a sec?
Splinter: Rest? Hm. The Shredder will not rest... until you are all dead!
Leonardo: Mikey! Throw the water balloon!
Michelangelo: Uh, what water balloon?
Leonardo: The one you were gonna hit me with!
Michelangelo: [Looks at water balloon] Dude! You are good. [Throws the water balloon, Leo and Mikey take cover, and the van explodes in seconds.]
Leonardo: Nice shot, M - [Gets hit by Mikey's water balloon.]
Michelangelo: Doctor Prankenstein for the win!
Leonardo: You had two? Where do you keep them?

Mousers Attack! [1.11]

Leonardo: Look, guys, Raph and I may be better fighters, but you´re still an important part of this team.
Donatello: [annoyed] As important as you two?
[Leo and Raph look at each other.]
Leo: Humm... Very important. We shouldn't compare ourselves. It's like apples and oranges.
Raphael: [Muttering] Yeah, if apples were way better, which they are.
Don: So, the truth comes out.
Michelangelo: You guys think of us as some kind of... B Team!
Raph: Good one, Dr. Namenstein. We'll call you "The B Team"!
Mikey: Thanks. I mean, hey!
Fishface: If I weren't stuck in here, I would have caught Splinter by now!
Dogpound: But you are stuck in there. [starts tapping the glass in Fishface's fish tank, creating vibrations]
Fishface: No-no-no-no! Stop that! Stop that! Ow! Ow! Stop it! Ow! Stop it!
Dogpound: [laughs] I'm sure you'll have your chance to shine one of these days. Master Shredder might get hungry for sushi.
Fishface: Why don't you get in the water and say that!
Shredder: Enough, Xever! Bradford is right, you are useless to me this way! [to Dogpound] I'm counting on you, find me information I can use, or Xever won't be the only one missing his legs.

It Came From the Depths [1.12]

Leonardo: We are not taking that monster home with us!
Michelangelo: He's not a monster! He's a giant, Kraang-crushing, mutant alligator monster! [Mikey realizes what he just said] I just said "monster", didn't I?
Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: Yeah.
Mikey: Well, you know what I meant!
Raph: I thought you meant "monster".
Donatello: Yeah.
Leo: Mm-hm.
Donnie: But we're still chaining him up, right?
Splinter: Of course, I am compassionate, not insane.

I, Monster [1.13]

Splinter: No, Leonardo. I am not. It seems your enemy, Dr. Victor Falco, has returned and he now calls himself "the Rat King." He will not stop until he has total control over every rat in the city...and my mind.
Leo: Sensei?
Splinter: Everything I knew is gone- my wife, my daughter, even my humanity. You four are all I have left.
Leo: Mikey, poke him.
Mikey: No way! I'm not poking him! You poke him!
Leo: OK, we'll put it to a vote.
Raphael, Donatello and Leonardo: Mikey!
Mikey: I want a re-count!

New Girl in Town [1.14]

Karai: You always talk to yourself?
Leonardo: Sometimes I'm the only one who'll listen.
Karai: I'll listen...when you beg for your life.
Leonardo: Let's see how well you do against someone who can see.
Karai: Let's see how you do against someone who's better than you.
Leonardo: Let's see how you do against- Let's just go!
[The two start sparring playfully with their unique fighting styles]
Leonardo: Judikai-interesting.
Karai: Kojokiri- predictable.
Karai: You're good. No wonder we haven't wiped you out yet.
Leonardo: It's not like Shredder hasn't been trying.
Karai: I know. It's all he ever talks about! Revenge, revenge. Vendetta, vendetta.
Leonardo: Really. I take it you don't approve.
Karai: No, I'm fine with it. I'm just saying, he needs a hobby.

The Alien Agenda [1.15]

Mikey: So...
Don: We're thinking somebody should start talking!
Leo: I should have told you about Karai sooner, but I really thought there was a chance she would be good. And I guess I... sort of liked her. Go ahead, laugh.
Mikey: Dude, I can't believe you trusted her.
Donnie: I can't believe you didn't trust us enough to tell us.
Leo: I was wrong, I'm really sorry.
April: I tried to warn him.
Raph: You too, huh?
Raphael: Glad you came to your senses, bro.
Leonardo: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
Raphael: I can see why you think she's hot...in an evil kind of way.
Leonardo: Don't worry. I am so over that.
[After Raph leaves, Leo looks dejected]

The Pulverizer [1.16]

Michelangelo: [on the phone] Donnie, we need help!! Raph's been bit by a giant poisonous fish!!
Donatello: That's not possible! If he was bitten, then it's venom, not poison.
Michelangelo: Interesting, interesting. Get over here!!
Donatello: What are his symptoms?
Michelangelo: He keeps telling me I'm the smartest guy he knows.
Donatello: Okay, okay, he's delusional.

TCRI [1.17]

Donatello: I know I've seen this symbol; it's so familiar.
Michelangelo: The Olympics!
Don: No!
Mikey: I got it! The Olympics!
Donnie: Stop guessing! Obviously it's a Kraang signal.
Leo: But from where?
Mikey: The Olympics!
Donnie: QUIT IT!!
Donnie: It's beautiful. Uh, Scientifically speaking.
Raph: Well, if you love it so much, why don't you marry it?
Mikey: Do you, Donatello, take this portal to be your lawfully wedded....
Leo: Knock it off!

Cockroach Terminator [1.18]

Leo: Halt, Kraang!
Kraang Droid: The halting of Kraang would not be what the turtles shall be doing to Kraang.
Leo: Wrong! The halting of Kraang would be exactly what the turtles... Just halt!
Mikey: Alright, Roachie! Time to meet your maker!
Donnie: Wait, isn't that me?
Mikey: Exactly. Go get 'im, tiger!

Baxter's Gambit [1.19]

Mikey: Hey, Baxtin!
Baxter: It's Baxter.
Mikey: I was wondering, what made you so interested in a career of super villainy?
Baxter: Well, since you won't be around to read my autobiography, I'll tell you. I was a frail, and delicately sensitive young child.
Dogpound: Well, there's a surprise.
Splinter: I had intended to one day pass this on to my daughter. But I would like you to have it.
April: It's beautiful.
Splinter: Yes. And...
[throws the Tessen fan at the Sacred Tree]
April: I think we found my weapon.

Enemy of My Enemy [1.20]

Karai: I thought you were better than this!! I thought you were my friend! How could you betray me! You're just as shortsighted and obsessed as Shredder!!
Leonardo: You said yourself how bad Shredder is! Why are you protecting him!? You said he's driving you crazy!
Karai: He drives me crazy because he's my father!
Leonardo: What!? Shredder is your father? You're Shredder's daughter?
[The Kraang ship flies closer]
Leo: We gotta stop that thing!
Karai: Our deal's off! You wanna a feud? You got one!
Donatello: Leo, it's not that bad. You blew up the Kraang ship.
Leonardo: [dejected] But I also blew our chance to get Karai on our side.
Raph: Look, she's Shredder's daughter! His blood! She was never gonna be on our side!
Leo: Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I just was believing what I wanted to.
Mikey: I've been there, dude. For me, it was leprechauns.
Leo: Are you seriously comparing what I am going through to the time you found out leprechauns aren't real?
Mikey: Leprechauns aren't real!?

Karai's Vendetta [1.21]

Shredder: Let's try this again! Why were you hunting the Turtles!?
Kraangdroid: The Turtles are protecting the life-form that is needed by Kraang. The one known as April O'Neil.
Shredder: Who is this April O'Neil?
Kraangdroid: She is the one known as "the one." She is the link that is missing in the plan of Kraang.
Karai: So this April O'Neil is at the center of everything.
Shredder: Then perhaps we can use her to bring the Turtles out of hiding. Karai, find this girl and bring her to me.
Karai: What makes you so special!!? You're the center of an alien conspiracy, protected by mutants, and trained by a great ninja master!! Why!!
April: I don't know!! I'm flunking trig! My friends are mutants! Aliens got my dad! And I lost my mother!
Karai: What? You lost your mother?
April: [recalls what Splinter had told her about unbalancing her opponent] AHHH!! [Flips Karai down the subway steps] Not bad for a nobody.

The Pulverizer Returns! [1.22]

Mikey: Look, I'm Leo. [deeper pitched voice] Guys, shh. We have to be quiet. Ninjas are quiet. Quiet down.
[Raph and Donnie laugh]
Leo: I sound nothing like that!
Raph: [sarcastically] Yes. That's why we're laughing, because you sound nothing like that.
Pulverizer: This is my chance to be like you guys. Once I mutate I'll unleash all my awesome mutant powers on Shredder.
Donnie: Uh, doing the mutation thing is notoriously unpredictable and really stupid!

Parasitica [1.23]

Mikey: Hey, Raph! Fire the weapons!
Raph: I don't think so.
Mikey: See, that's your problem. If I were in charge of weapons, I'd be firing at things all the time. That mailbox, blam! That newsstand, boom! That port-a-potty, splat!
Leo: And that's why you're not in charge of weapons. Now get back to your station and tell me which way to go.
Mikey: Hmm... okay. Uh, you should turn right... three blocks ago. [Leo, Donnie and Raph groan.]
Raph: Let's trash the place.
Leo: Hold on, Raph. This is a recon mission. We go in there, find out what the Kraang are up to, and then we trash the place.
Raph: Fine. Wake me when we get to the trashing part.

Operation: Break Out [1.24]

Donnie: What the heck was that?
Raph: I was just having some fun. You know how much Mikey loves the Donnie puppet.
Donnie: Dude, April was watching.
Raph: I'm pretty sure she liked it... too. Wait. You still think you have a shot with her?
Donnie: Well... er, I mean-
Raph: Wow. That's adorable and sad. It's "sadorable". Look, if you wanna impress April, better leave me out of it.
Leo: Why would Donnie try to rescue April's dad by himself?
Raph: Maybe because I told him he has no shot with April?
Leo: What? Why would you say that?
Raph: Because he has no shot with April!
Leo: Well, yeah, but you don't tell him that!
Mikey: The heart's a soft muscle, man. A soft muscle. Squish.

Showdown

  • Karai is revealed to be the presumably dead biological daughter of Hamato Yoshi/Splinter and his late wife Tang Shen. Her true name being Miwa.

Part 1 [1.25]

Karai: Hey, there, Princess. Miss me?
April: Yeah, actually. Last time I saw you, I forgot to give you this! [kicks Karai in the stomach]
Karai: You've done well. Now take the message to Splinter.
April: Dad, what are you doing?! Dad!? You brainwashed him!
Karai: I know. Pretty cool, right?
Shredder: Hamato Yoshi, so glad you could accept my invitation.
Splinter: What have you done with April!?
Shredder: Now that you are here, Miss O'Neil is no longer any use to me. I gave her to my new friends- the Kraang.
Splinter: You fool!! Do you have any idea what you've done!?
Shredder: Yes. I took your family away and I now I can put an end to you once and for all.
[Hamato Yoshi reveals his mutated rat face to his adopted brother]
Shredder: What, a rat? I see you are as hideous as those turtles that surround you.
Splinter: Look closely at this face, Shredder. For it is the last thing you will ever see!!

Part 2 [1.26]

Splinter: [to Shredder] Oroku Saki, you were once my friend. I thought of you as my brother. 15 years ago, I was a different man. I had everything I could want - a loving wife and a beautiful daughter. And you, my loyal friend, jealousy consumed you. You sought that which was mine! You took everything that I love! Everything! And still you hunt me down! So I fight you now to end this!
April: Sensei, I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier.
Splinter: No need. You spoke what was in your heart. I am just relieved you made it home safely.
Leo: What's wrong, sensei?
Splinter: I learned some things from the Shredder.
Leo: Like what?
Splinter: That is a story for another time, Leonardo. Tonight is for celebration. After all, it's not everyday you save the world from an alien invasion.

Characters

Supporting

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
  CREATORS     Kevin Eastman · Peter Laird  
  COMICS     Mirage comic series  (1984–2010) · Tales  (1987–2010) · Adventures  (1988–1995) · Mighty Mutanimals  (1991 spin-off) · Daily comic strip  (1990–1997) · Dreamwave comics
  series  (2003) · IDW comic series  (2011–present)  
  TELEVISION     Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue  (1990) · Turtles Forever  (2009)  
  SERIES     1987–1996 series · Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend  (1996) · Next Mutation  (1997–1998) · 2003–2010 series · 2012–2017 series  
  FILMS     Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (1990) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze  (1991) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III  (1993) · TMNT  (2007) · Turtles
  Forever  (2009) · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014) · Out of the Shadows  (2016)  
  FAN-MADE     Casey Jones  (2011)  
  DOCUMENTARY     Turtle Power: The Definitive History of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  (2014)  
  VIDEO GAMES     Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battle Nexus  (2004)  
  SEE ALSO     Leonardo da Vinci · Donatello · Michelangelo · Raphael  
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