The Sidekick

Sonic the Hedgehog: [chasing Eggman in the Eggmobile] You can't lose me, Egghead!

Doctor Eggman: Eggman! You know my name is "Dr. Eggman"! You do that on purpose!

Sonic: Do what, Egghead? [The chase continues, but Sonic is eventually forced to stop, teetering on the edge of a cliff.] Who-o-oa! [manages to get back to safety. The camera zooms out to reveal Eggman WAY up above]

Dr. Eggman: It all ends here, old friend. Prepare to be destroyed by Burnbot! [the camera shifts to reveal Burnbot]

Sonic: So what, he's gonna burn me with flamethrowers or something?

Eggman: Flamethrower? Well, no…

Sonic: Oh! Uh... acid, incendiary grenades!?

Eggman: No no no, the li– Claws! He has claws, very painful claws!

Sonic: Well, then you should have called him "Clawbot" or "The Lacerator" or "Pinch-a-tron 9000", but "Burnbot"? I mean, that's just false advertising–

Eggman: I name the robots, Sonic! [to Burnbot] Burnbot, ATTACK! [Burnbot jumps down and starts speeding towards Sonic. Sonic runs in the same direction, keeping directly across from Burnbot. Overhead, Tails flies by in his plane.]

Miles "Tails" Prower: Blue Leader, this is Yellow Sky. I have eyes on Burnbot. He's on the move, over!

Sonic: Thanks, Tails. Initiate "Speeding Swing Surprise". [Tails dives his plane into the canyon, sending Eggman into a spin. Tails activates his Enerbeam. Sonic and Burnbot leap at each other as the scene goes into slow motion. Tails flies by, throwing the beam to Sonic. Sonic catches the beam, swings around on it, and delivers a kick to Burnbot, launching him into the canyon wall. Sonic lands on the canyon floor across from Burnbot.]

Eggman: [flies down to Burnbot] Get up, get up, get up! [Burnbot climbs to its feet, then notices Tails' plane flying overhead. It fires one of its claws at the plane, damaging the wing. The plane goes into a spin.]

Sonic: Bail, Tails! Bail! [Tails pulls the eject lever, only for it to break off in his hand. Sonic prepares to rush to help, but is cut off by Burnbot. Sonic dodges one of Burnbot's claws, then sees a large rock poised over it. Sonic jumps over another of Burnbot's attacks, and spins into the rock, dropping it on Burnbot. Sonic leaps up to the top of the canyon.] Tails, no!

Amy Rose: I'm Amy Rose, and I'm auditioning for the role of sidekick.

Sonic: Ugh, Amy, I know who you are.

Amy: Okay, great. Because I am fine with nepotism. Oh, and under Special Skills, you can add juggling and singing! [starts doing just that] Oh, when the saints go marching in...

Sonic: NEXT!

Knuckles the Echidna: I think you'd be a great sidekick for me.

Sonic: No, Knuckles. I'm looking for someone to be my sidekick.

Knuckles: We have to change your name, though. I'm thinking... "Knuckles Junior".

Sonic: Tails… I didn't really wanna fire you, I was just trying to protect you.

Tails: How, by putting me in more danger?

Sonic: The plan had holes! [helps Tails up]

Eggman: Oh, Sonic. I have 1 last surprise for you - I took your advice, Burnbot can burn things!

Amy: Lemme in! I demand a call-back! [sees Knuckles walking past and looking depressed] Knuckles, what's wrong?

Knuckles: [sighs] That "Knuckles, Jr." isn't workin' out.

Amy: Oh... so you're saying you need a... [follows Knuckles; mocks Italian voice] I'm a crazy pizza man! Who juggles and sings! [sings When The Saints Go Marching In]

Knuckles: Knuckalina!

Can an Evil Genius Crash on Your Couch for a Few Days?

Sonic: That's it! I've had enough of Eggman! Lair or no lair, he's outta here!

Amy: You can't just throw Eggman out. Sure, he might be a difficult roommate, but it's only because you guys have a communication problem.

Tails: "Communication problem"? He whacked me with a pillow. Hard! I'm dizzy, and I have serious short-term memory loss. [beat] And I have serious short-term memory loss.

Amy: Why don't we settle this... with a roommate meeting? [later] Now, Sonic. So you have something you'd like to share with Eggman?

Sonic: Yes. Uh, how to say this delicately... You're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you.

Amy: Let's frame our statements with "when you do this, it makes me feel this".

Sonic: Fine. Let's see. Uh... When you live here, it makes me feel... angry because you're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you.

Eggman: [starts crying] You're right. I am the worst roommate. It-it-it... I've never lived with other people before!

Cubot: What about us?

Eggman: [normal voice] You don't count. [starts crying again]

Amy: Sonic, I think someone here could go for 2 spoonfuls of forgiveness, washed down with a tall glass of friendship. What do you think?

Sonic: Ugh... Eggman, if we give you a second chance, will you promise to shape up?

Eggman: [stops crying, snaps his fingers] You bet!

Translate This

Sticks: Wait, this thing reads minds?

Universal Translator: "Wait, this thing reads minds?".

Sticks: Get it out of my head!

U.T.: "Get it out of my head!".

Knuckles: [stopping Sticks from trying to destroy the robot] No, no. Calm down, Sticks.

UT: "Take it easy, Whackjob."

Sticks: Hey!

UT: "I am displeased."

Knuckles: Sure you didn't. [to Sonic]

UT: "I'm stupid."

Knuckles: Hey, I'm not stupid.

UT: "Oh, and I'm ugly too, but not as ugly as Sticks."

Sticks: Hey!

Buster

Sonic: Dr. Eggman's evil fireman robot is running loose!

Eggman: [seated on a nearby bench] Why does everyone assume every evil robot is mine?

Sonic: [bounces off Fire Bot again] I dunno. Experience? [leaps up to avoid another burst of fire]

[Knuckles, armed with a large stick, and Amy, armed with her hammer, step up.]

Knuckles: You're "fired", pal. Ha ha ha! Get it? [A burst of flame turns his stick to ashes] Ah, I guess not.

Amy: Shouldn't firemen put out fires?

Eggman: Ah, hello? That's the irony? It's the evil opposite of a fireman. [Sonic glares at him] Ah, uh... I assume...

Sticks: Sonic, the evil anti-fire bot is putting a baby walrus into a burning house!

[Sonic races over and snatches the baby walrus away before Fire Bot can do so, returning him to his mother.]

Tails: Sonic, Evil anti-fire Bot is putting a kitten in a tree!

Eggman: Go, evil fireman! [sees Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks looking at him] Okay, I admit it. It's mine. Evil robots are what I do. Why stop if you're good at it?

[Fire Bot is now shooting flames at some of the other citizens.]

Sonic: This has gone on long enough. [races over, running circles around Fire Bot and wrapping it in its own "fire hose"]

[Fire Bot's flamethrower explodes, destroying it.]

'Eggman: I, um... left the oven on. [flees]

Sonic: Heh. Looks like that robot is "fired"!

[Tails, Sticks, and Amy laugh.]

Knuckles: Hey! No one laughed when I said it...

[The kitten, which is still in the tree, meows pitifully.]

Sonic: Sticks, could you get that kitten out of the tree?

Sticks: Sure thing, Sonic. [runs over and starts shaking the tree, terrifying the kitten]

Sonic: Um, Sticks? Sticks? Sticks!

[The kitten falls out of the tree and bounces off Sonic's head. Sonic catches it.]

Sticks: What?

Sticks: Buster, it turns out you were an evil robot. So, maybe you're not pet material. I guess this is goodbye. [puts a hobo pack on Buster, who walks off] Have fun out there in the big world. [watches Buster go, waving goodbye]

Tails: Hey guys, I found a giant octopus! Think I can keep him? [the giant octopus suddenly eats him, and spits out his goggles] Changed my mind. Help!

My Fair Sticksy

Sticks: Someone left this at my house.

Sonic: Yeah. The mailman. It's a letter?

Sticks: [sniffs it] Letter, huh? I dunno. Paper folded over itself? What's it hiding, what's it hiding?!

Amy: [reads it] Sticks, you've been nominated for an Awardy Award!

Tails: They really need a better name for that thing.

Knuckles: Ooh, let me see! [grabs letter, and puts on glasses to study it] Oh, wait. I can't read…

Sonic: [grabs the letter] Gimme that. [reads] "In honor of saving our village, the Mayor cordially invites you to the Awardies." Huh, conveniently, you can also bring your 4 closest pals. [Everyone looks at Sticks with anticipation, including Comedy Chimp, who is there for some reason.] Sorry, Comedy Chimp. [CC sighs and leaves] Now, where was I? [clears his throat] "The Awardies will be at the Mayor's Mansion. You'll dine on", ooh, "elegant food and mingle with elegant guests. After which, the Awardy Award will be awarded to the winner." [to Sticks] Which could be you.

The Meteor

[Team Sonic is watching a meteor shower over it near a campfire.]

Amy: Tails, what are you doing?

Tails: [laying down on a rock looking at the sky] Just enjoying this beautiful meteor shower.

[Colorful meteors rain down from the sky.]

Knuckles: That one's flying beautifully toward us!

[A meteor flies over Team Sonic and it crashes nearby.]

Tails: This could be a major find! We need to approach it cautiously and with great care so that–

Sonic: Race ya! [speeds off while Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks follow behind]

Tails: [sighs] Wait for me!

Sonic: [as the others catch up] Hah! First!

Eggman: Think again, Sonic!

Sonic: Eggman!?

[Team Sonic notice Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot in the Eggmobile, which had been hovering over the crater.]

Eggman: That's right, and as the intrepid explorer that first discovered this regal rock, I hearby call "dibs"!

Sonic: What? You can't call "dibs".

Eggman: Oh, so now you don't respect "dibs"? What's next? Are you gonna allow "cutsies", flout the 5 second rule, step on a crack without any regard for your mother's spinal column?

Knuckles: Not cool, Sonic!

Sonic: Of course I respect "dibs", but you can only call "dibs" if you are touching the thing you desire to "dib".

Eggman: Ohhh! Well, in that case… [he and Sonic both race to the meteor and touch it at the exact same time]

Sonic and Eggman: Dibs!

Sonic [in Eggman's body]: [wakes up] Ugh... [looks around] What am I doing in Eggman's lair? [looks at a mirror and sees Eggman] Gah! Eggman! [jumps at the mirror and is knocked backwards] What the…? [with the doctor's voice] What am I doing in Eggman's body?!

Orbot: [he and Cubot enter the room and approach "Eggman"] Dr. Eggman, you're awake!

Cubot: We had to drag you back home. It was Spring Break all over again!

[A series of illustrated photos are shown: Eggman playing beach volleyball with his robots; Eggman singing to an audience that consists of his robots; Eggman posing with a sand castle; Cubot, snickering while placing suntan lotion on the forehead of a napping Eggman; Orbot and Cubot dragging a still-unconscious Eggman back to the lair, his body sunburned, save for a Sonic-shaped mark on the forehead.]

Sonic: I'm not Eggman, I'm Sonic!

Orbot: [to Cubot] He's pretending to be Sonic again.

Cubot: Well, I'm not gonna be Amy this time!

[Inside, Amy is tending to "Sonic", who is lying on a hammock.]

Amy: Sonic, you rest here.

Eggman [in Sonic's body]: [with the hedgehog's voice] Yes, Amy dear. I won't move, for I am Sonic - heh - and this is my humble shack. [Amy walks to the exit, glances at Eggman, then leaves the shack. Eggman stands up afterwards.] Alright, don't freak out, play it cool. You're Sonic now. [laughs maniacally]

Amy: [reappears] Did you say something?

Eggman: Uh, no! I was just thinking of something funny that red imbecile we both know said! [nervous chuckle]

Amy: You mean Knuckles?

Eggman: Yes, "Nuffles", that's the guy! [Amy gives a puzzled look, but leaves again regardless.] This... is... delicious. With my genius mind and Sonic's speed, I'll finally be able to destroy those pesky rodents once and for all! Time for a test drive. [starts running in place and then speeds away, but ends up crashing into a wall] Ow… Uh, this might take some getting used to.

Sonic: I'm telling you, I'm Sonic! Eggman switched brains with me... I mean, I switched bodies with Eggman!

Cubot: Uh, hang on. Did you switch brains or did you switch bodies?

Sonic: Both! (I think.)

Orbot: Well then, nothing's changed.

Sonic: Listen, Gear-brain-

Cubot: [to Orbot] Definitely Eggman. [Orbot nods in agreement.]

Sonic: Look. I'm not Eggman. I'll prove it! [attempts to use his speed, but cannot access it in Eggman's body, and now he quickly exhausts himself] Hoh, boy... can't... breathe. What is this awful feeling... in my lungs?

Orbot: [sarcastically applauses] Good show, sir.

Cubot: [sarcastically] Real impressive stuff, boss.

Sonic: [still out of breath] Need to... find Tails. He'll know what to do!

Eggman: Did you see the look on his face when he ran off?

Knuckles: He looked ridiculous! Especially with that stupid mustache!

Eggman: All right, Noodles. That's enough.

[Thumping is then heard which shakes the ground.]

Sticks: Whoa. Did you guys feel that?

[The thumping continues and is soon revealed to be coming from the Mega knocking down trees and then arriving at the shack with Sonic, Orbot, Cubot and the other robots. Eggman and the others get into position, ready to fight.]

Sonic: Remember, warning shots only. I don't want anyone hurt. Got it? [notices the robot's aren't listening] Well, what are you waiting for?

Orbot: We are programmed only to obey orders after being threatened.

Sonic: [realizes this and sighs] All right, then. Nobody gets hurt or somebody's gonna get hurt! (Got it?)

Orbot and Cubot: Yes, sir!

[The robots begin to move forward and attack. Amy and the others begin to destroy the robots.]

Eggman: Aw, come on! Do you have any idea how much those cost? I mean, between the parts and labor... [Amy destroys a robot with her hammer.] Aw, geez! [Knuckles and Sticks destroy a few robots.]

[Sonic tries to dodge the Mega, but it knocks him to the ground causing him to land on Eggman.]

Cubot: He's gonna be feeling that tomorrow.

[2 Bee Bots circle around Sonic and Eggman.]

Amy: Hey, Eggman crushed Sonic!

Knuckles: Get him!

Eggman [now back in his own body]: [watches Team Sonic on a monitor] So close! I was so close to finally defeating Sonic! [Orbot and Cubot laugh behind his back.] What are you two laughing at?

Cubot: Nothing, boss.

[Eggman growls and turns around, showing the same Sonic-shaped mark from earlier.]

Late Fees

[Tails is working on a device. Sonic runs in.]

Sonic: Tails, I need jumper cables. [Tails reaches into his toolbox without looking and grabs a pair of jumper cables, which he holds up. Sonic grabs them and runs off. Tails goes back to work. Sonic runs back.] You got any duct tape? [Tails once again reaches into his toolbox, and holds up a roll of duct tape. Sonic grabs it and runs off, but comes right back again.] How about a battery?

Tails: Antimatter or self-generating?

Sonic: I don't know. Something with a lot of juice.

Tails': Antimatter's on the top shelf, behind the video games.

Sonic: Thanks. [runs over, grabs 2 batteries, then runs off again]

[Tails stops short, seeing the Tailsmobile wedged between some rocks, the fan pointing upwards. Knuckles is sitting on top, in a bucket that's duct-taped to the fan, while Sonic is next to a battery, holding the jumper cables.]

Sonic: Ha! Initiate "Spinning Blades of Death"!

Knuckles: "Spinning Blades of Death"? I guess that sounds safe.

[Sonic connects the jumper cables to the battery. The fan begins to spin, spinning Knuckles with it.]

Knuckles: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Sonic: Activating Hyper Mode. [flips a switch on the side of the battery. The fan starts spinning even faster]

Knuckles: Yeaaaaah!

Sonic: [hears his Communicator beep] Oh. [activates it] Sonic here.

Amy: Sonic, did you return the book I lent you to the library?

Sonic: Um... not... yet?

[Knuckles goes flying off the fan in the background]

Amy: It's due today! If you don't return it on time, I'll have to pay late fees, Sonic!

Chez Amy [Amy's Restaurant]

Amy: Present spatulas! [looks at Tails'] Good. [looks at Sonic's] Very nice. [looks at Sticks' boomerang] Sticks, that's not a spatula. Lose it. [Sticks throws her boomerang and glass shattering is heard and looks at Knuckles' hat] Knuckles, your hat is on backwards.

Knuckles: [turns his hat and himself forwards] Where'd everyone go? [Tails turns Knuckles around]

Amy: I'm teach Dave the Intern a lesson he'll neeeeever forget!

Knuckles: Every teacher I ever had said that, and they were all wrong. I forgot every lesson... and how to feed myself. [puts a carrot in his ear] Oh, false alarm. I do remember.

Just a Guy

Sonic: I QUIT hero-ing and I QUIT this stupid group!

2 Good to Be True [Knuckles & Knuckles]

[In a Mirror Dimension, a broken Mirror Crab Bot is seen flying across the land. Mirror Tails is chasing a Mirror Motobug, but Mirror Amy breaks it with her hammer. Mirror Sticks throws her boomerang towards a Mirror Crab Bot and destroys it. An Mirror Octopus Bot emerges out of the bushes. It shoots ink at Team Sonic. The ink touches the ground and Mirror Sonic slips on it.]

Mirror Sonic: I could use some help here.

Mirror Dave: I'm all over it. [Sonic falls over] Anyone order a butt-kicking with a side of pain and extra humiliation sauce?

[fires hamburgers towards the Mirror Octopus Bot]

[They mess up Mirror Eggman's windshield. The Octopus Bot shoots a laser that directly hits Amy at her feet, blowing her up in the air.]

Mirror Knuckles: [riding on a pair of Hoverboards, catches her before she falls to the ground] I always knew you'd fall for me.

Mirror Amy: Ahh...

Mirror Eggman: Knuckles the Echidna, my arch-nemesis.

Mirror Knuckles: You never learn, do you, Egghead. You'll never defeat my team!

Mirror Sonic: We're a team? We should get matching uniforms!

Mirror Knuckles: Oh, Sonic. Uniforms by definition match. [Pats Sonic's head] Now, if you'll excuse me, the grown-ups have some work to do. [releases one of his Hoverboards that destroys a Mirror Crab Bot and tries hitting the Octopus Bot with the other Hoverboard, which hits Mirror Octopus Bot on the underbelly.

[The Mirror Octopus Bot catches smoke and falls to the ground. Knuckles unleashes the ground pound to finish it off. The shockwave blows back a few more Mirror Crab Bots and blasts the Mirror Octopus Bot up in the air, which then crashes back to the ground. It then emits a red and blue energy beam that merge together and directly hit Knuckles.]

Mirror Sonic: Nooo! [tries to save Mirror Knuckles, but he is too late, as Mirror Knuckles gets warped away before he can reach him]

Sonic: [catches a chili dog with a body dive before it hits the sand] Oh, got it! That was almost the worst disaster imaginable. [eats the chili dog] Mmm…

[Team Sonic is having a baroque outside Sonic's Shack. Tails and Amy sit at the table while Sticks works the grill. Suddenly, Mirror Knuckles appears out of thin air]

Sticks: Yargh! Kill it with fire!

Tails: Calm down, it's just Knuckles.

Sticks: Oh. [shouting] Kill Knuckles with fire!

Sonic: Cool entrance, Knux.

Amy: You were supposed to get hamburger buns.

Mirror Knuckles: In mid-battle? Sweet Amy, there will be time for your delicious burgers after we've defeated that dastardly deviant Eggman.

Sonic: Nice vocab.

Tails: And impressive alliteration. You've been taking night classes?

Knuckles: Hey guys! [walks in, carrying a tray full of burger buns and looks at his Mirror doppelganger; they stare at each other] Who's the beefcake?

Sticks: They really look alike. We need to figure out how to tell them apart.

Amy: I know. Our Knuckles can wear something to distinguish himself, but which one's our Knuckles?

Knuckles: Well, that depends. What does distinguish mean? [Amy runs off and returns with a blue party hat.] No way! I'm not wearing that!

Mirror Knuckles: I'd be honored to wear your ridiculous hat my dear. [puts the hat on]

Amy: Ahh...

Sonic: He may look like Knuckles, but he sure doesn't talk like him.

Knuckles: Hey! I talked gooder than you.

Tails: [thinking] There's a perfectly rational explanation for this. [Everyone looks and listens to Tails, but after a long wait, he shrugs.] I just haven't figured it out yet. [Everyone groans at Tails.]

Mirror Knuckles: Worry not, young Tails. Be diligent. In time, the answer will seek you.

Knuckles: Whoa. I sound like a fortune cookie! [tries to eat his right arm] Yeah, but I don't taste like one.

Mirror Knuckles: There's only one person smart enough to unravel this enigma.

Dave: Welcome to Meh Burger. Can I take your order?

Mirror Knuckles: Dave! I'm glad I found you, friend. We need your brilliant mind.

Dave: I'm sorry. We're all out of that. May I recommend the Meh Rib Sandwich? They're only available for a limited time.

Mirror Knuckles: [clenches his fist] What's going on here?! Everyone seems to be the opposite of their normal selves.

Tails: Hmm... I think I understand what's happening. They say it's available for a limited time to create a false demand.

Sticks: That's how they get ya.

Tails: Also, I just figured out that this guy is from another dimension!

Sonic: Another dimension? You mean with duplicates of each of us?

Sticks: [nervous] What if another of me shows up? I can't trust me. I'm a loose cannon! [screams and runs away]

Eggman: Imagine the look on Sonic's face when he sees I have Knuckles trapped. [hears the wall being barged open]

Sonic: You don't have to imagine, Egghead. Cuz here I am!

Eggman: That was a bit of a letdown. I was expecting a bigger reaction, maybe shocked, outraged, perhaps even a little ennui. Anywho, Motobugs, attack!

[A group of Motobugs charge at Team Sonic. Sonic spin attacks a Motobug. Mirror Knuckles watches the debris fly across the room and into the hole in the wall.]

Mirror Knuckles: Look who broke down the wall. The non-aggressors.

Sonic: [punches another Motobug] Dude, this is more of a rescue than an attack!

Mirror Knuckles: Excuses are easy to manufacture, but hard to sell.

Eggman: Why is Knuckles talking like a fortune cookie?

Amy: That's (because it's) not Knuckles, it's his double from another dimension.

Eggman: Oh. That explains the hat, so you can tell them apart. Great idea.

Amy: Thank [hammers a Motobug] you.

Eggman: Wait a minute. There are multiple Knuckles in this dimension? That could cause some kind of catastrophic anomaly. I do not want a dimensional explosion in my lab. I just had the floors waxed. [releases Mirror Knuckles from the trapping cage and Mirror Knuckles flickers] Well, what are you waiting for? Get him out of here! (And why is his counterpart here anyway?)

Sonic: Well, actually, the reason Alternate Dimension Knuckles is here is because Alternate Dimension Eggman (which is your dimensional counterpart) shot him with lasers from Alternate Dimension Octopusbot.

Eggman: That is so Alternate Dimension me!

Sonic: Is there any chance we can borrow your laser to send this guy back where he came from and prevent the destruction of pretty much everything?

Eggman: [chuckling] Sure! You should have just asked me in the first place! Oh, but I'll need it back by Thursday.

Sticks: What happens on Thursday?

Eggman: I'm gonna attack your– Uh, um, I'm having a party. [Sticks makes "I'm watching you" gesture at him]

[Mirror Sonic falls on his head in the sand.]

Mirror Knuckles: [warped in to his world and notices Mirror Sonic on the ground] Here, buddy. Let me help you. [helps Sonic up]

Mirror Sonic: Oh. Thanks, Knux.

Fire in a Crowded Workshop

[Sonic's flashback]

Sonic: Everything okay, miss?

Perci: Are you...?

Sonic: [responds] Yep, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Fastest hero in the World, purveyor of justice, righter of wrongs, eater of chili dogs.

Perci: [squeals, then turns around to talk to herself] Calm down, Perci. It's just all your dreams coming true. [turns back around to Team Sonic] I'm so sorry.

Sonic: Don't worry, I'm used to it. Just breathe slowly and tell Uncle Sonic what happened.

Amy: Clearly, she fell off her bike and hurt her arm.

Sonic: Oh, Amy. Don't be jealous because I'm paying attention to another. [Amy growls; to Perci] Don't mind her, she kinda has a thing for me.

Perci: Who wouldn't?

Sonic: Exactly, now let's see what we can do about that bicycle. [walks over to Knuckles] Knuckles, bring it over here. [Knuckles walks off and comes back with a boulder] That's a boulder. I said bicycle, but I'm not angry because I know that you're a simpleton.

Knuckles: Thank you, Mr. Sonic. [throws the boulder away and walks off]

Amy: Oh my, Perci. You've been injured. I know what to do about that. Lecture you on bicycle safety. First, never ride a bi–

Sonic: [cutting Amy off] Amy, what Perci really needs is a splint for her arm.

Perci: Wow. You sure know how to take charge of every situation. [Sonic winks.]

Amy: ...And voila! [Sonic notices Perci's arm is in a mechanical sling and nods in disapproval as Knuckles walks up to Sonic.]

Knuckles: I couldn't find a bicycle, but maybe one of us could ride this to get one. [holds up Perci's bicycle and throws it in the mud, splashing Amy and Perci] Sorry about your scarf. I should've known I'd mess it up. I always do when I'm not under Sonic's direct supervision.

Sonic: [walks over to Perci's bicycle] Huh. As a man, I could fix this with my bare hands. However, it would be quicker with the proper tools. To Tails' workshop! [The 4 head over to Tails' workshop just before Sticks pops up.]

Sticks: Hey! Watch out for that robot! I'll bet she's a spy! Broadcasting our secrets to her mechanical overlords! You know, the ones that make the microwaves blink 12:00! Even though you just did it yesterday! [runs off screaming]

Sonic: [to Perci] Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice.

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, flashback.]

Sonic [opens the door] Tails? I guess he isn't here. No matter. I'll heroically repair this bike with only my bare hands! [picks up Tails' welding laser] And a welding laser. Amy, you tend to poor Perci's injury.

Amy: Mmm-hmm.

Sonic: Knuckles, you clean the scarf that you so carelessly ruined. [puts the bike on the table and starts to fix it. Amy puts a heating pad on Perci's arm]

Knuckles: [looks for a place to dry the scarf such as a drying rack, blow dryer, drying machine, and a lab kiln] Tails' industrial strength lab kiln seems like a perfect place to dry a really delicate scarf. [puts it in the lab kiln, closes the door, and turns it on]

Amy: This heating pad isn't enough. [to Knuckles] Knuckles, get Perci a pillow.

Knuckles: You're not the boss of me, Sonic is! (No, wait…)

Amy: But I'm bossy and overbearing and I need everyone to do as I say to compensate for my own insecurity! [Knuckles angrily throws the pillow at her.] Don't throw it at me, hand it to me nicely! [throws the pillow back at Knuckles which exchanges in a pillow fight with the pillow ending up in Perci's face]

Sonic: Kids, behave yourselves! This is why we can't have nice things! [smells smoke and a fire starts as Amy and Knuckles do a tug of war for the pillow. Sonic puts out the fire using buckets of water.]

[Knuckles' flashback]

Sonic: Hi. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.

Perci: Never heard of you. [notices Knuckles walking up to them still in his blue naval cap. The wind blows through his dreadlocks] ...But who's your friend? [walks over to Knuckles pushing Sonic aside]

Knuckles: I'm just a humble echidna… which is why I won't brag about my boyish charm, unimaginable strength, and ability to think real good. You know, smartnesswise.

Sonic: [struggles to pick up Perci's broken bicycle, just before Knuckles picks it up over his head using only one arm] Wha...?!

Perci: Wow. Muscles and brain smartness.

Knuckles: I know. [Sonic falls] Medic! Splint up this pretty lady's arm!

Amy: I hope I can live up to your expectations, Captain Knuckles. [puts the splint on her leg instead of her arm]

Knuckles: Oh ho, Amy. You forgotten what an arm is. This is an arm. [flexes his left arm]

Perci: Wow. You are the whole package.

Knuckles: And here's the gift-wrapping. [starts flexing his arms. Amy sighs dreamily]

[Sonic flexes his arms too and ends up leaning on Perci's broken bicycle, causing it to fall in the mud, splashing Amy and Perci. Sonic gasps.]

Knuckles: Sonic, You clumsy oaf! Perpetual second banana! Look what you've done! [to Perci] Come, my lady! We must go to Casa Del Tails to repair your bicicleta before Sonic does any further damage. [takes Perci's arm leaving Amy angry and the 4 head over to Tails' workshop with Sonic behind them]

Sonic: [whiny voice] Come on, guys! Wait for meeeeeee!

[The keep walking just before Sticks pops up.]

Sticks: Hey, be careful of that alien! She'll abduct our livestock, phone home from our houses, and turn us all into pie people! She's... a goodful! A goodful! [runs off screaming]

Knuckles: [to Perci] Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sonic fixes the bike with a wielding laser and suddenly burns his finger at Tails' Workshop (flashback). He screams in pain and starts blowing on it.] Sonic, can't you do anything right? [to Perci] Your scarf will look brand new, but it'll never look as lovely as its owner.

[Perci blushes. Knuckles puts the scarf in the kiln. Meanwhile, Amy struggles with a heating pad.]

Amy: How does this heating pad work? Mmm. [throws the heating pad on a pile of newspapers]

Knuckles: A pillow for my maiden fan?

Amy: Hey, I'm the medic! I'll give her the pillow!

Sonic: I want to give her the pillow, so I could be more like my hero - Knuckles. [he and Amy fight over the pillow when suddenly a fire starts. Sonic jumps in Amy's arms scared. Knuckes uses his ice breath to put the fire out. Perci leans against his arm]

[Amy's flashback]

Perci: [Southern Belle accent] I've seem to have fallen from my bicycle and injured my little old arm. If only there was some heroic gentleman who would rescue poor little me.

Sonic: [he and Knuckles stare at Perci all lovey-dovey and chuckling] You're pretty.

Perci: [Southern Belle accent] Would one of you handsome young men kindly retrieve my bicycle?

[Sonic and Knuckles giddily run over to do so. Amy crosses her arms, unimpressed. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bicycle, when they suddenly fall over. The pieces of the bicycle fall into the mud, splashing it over Perci's scarf.]

Amy: [voiceover] Even with my friends under the spell of a wicked siren, I selflessly administered medical care to the foul temptress. [to Perci] Oh, you poor sweet thing! Allow me to tend to your wounds. [binds Perci's arm in a sling, which sparkles] Now, let's see to your bicycle. I know where to get it fixed!

[The 4 of them walk towards Tails' workshop, with Knuckles carrying the bicycle pieces. Sticks suddenly runs up]

Sticks: Watch out for that government agent! It starts with jury duty, and zoning ordinances, and before you know it, boom! Our tax dollars are benefiting others, and not us!

Amy: Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sticks runs away screaming]

[at Tails Workshop (flashback)]

Amy: [holding Perci's scarf] Sweetie, you rest here. I'll get a heating pad to make you more comfortable. Knuckles, will you please clean this scarf? [Knuckles reaches in and grabs the scarf] And Sonic… maybe it'd be best to just wait for Tails.

Sonic: No way! I can totally fix this! [darts over to Perci] Watch this, babe. [runs back over to the bike, and picks up a welding mask and laser. He puts on the mask, but drops the laser] Ahh...

Perci: [Southern Belle accent] My poor little arm is achin' so. If only I had a cushion on which to rest it.

[Knuckles, who is washing Perci's scarf in the background, runs to get a pillow. Sonic looks up from his welding, seeing this, and drops the still-active laser and runs over and fights with Knuckles over the pillow.]

Sonic: Let me give it to her!

Knuckles: She wants me to give it to her!

[Smoke rises, followed by flames. Sonic and Knuckles see this, drop the pillow, and panic. Amy grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.]

[Perci's flashback]

Perci: [voiceover] I had a minor accident with my bicycle, when… [Sonic sees Perci and runs over]

Sonic: Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Hero extraordinaire.

Perci: You don't happen to have a wrench or some tools I can use to fix my bike?

Knuckles: No, but maybe I can interest you in some "gift-wrapping"?

Perci: That's okay.

Sonic: Don't worry. I can fix your bike. [runs to it]

Knuckles: No, I will! [follows]

Amy: You're just loving this, aren't you? Having men fight over you? A modern woman can take care of herself.

Perci: I can take care of myself, but like I said, "I don't have any tools" and I hurt my arm.

Amy: I suppose you need me to bandage that up for you.

Perci: Nah, just a bruise. [Amy growls, but wraps Perci's arm in a sling. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bike, when they suddenly fall. The bike pieces drop into the mud, splashing it over Perci.] Look, I need to get moving. Do you know where I can find some tools? [As the group walks towards Tails' Workshop, Sticks runs up with a yell.] Nice to meet you. [Sticks runs away screaming. Sonic, Knuckles and Amy hold each other in the background, shaking.] She seems nice.

[At Tails Workshop (flashback), Perci is about to use the welding laser to fix her bike, but Sonic cuts in.]

Sonic: Allow me. You just sit back and relax, while Sonic saves the day.

Perci: Okay, I'll just wash my scarf.

Knuckles: [grabs Perci's scarf] Please, the honor is all mine. [starts washing it]

Perci: Well then, I'll just rest my arm.

Amy: All right, all right. I'll get you a heating pad. Talk about a drama queen.

Knuckles: [puts Perci's scarf in the kiln] Would you like a pillow?

Sonic: [looks up from his welding] No, I'll give Perci a pillow! [runs over, dropping the welding laser, which ignites]

Amy: Oh, now the princess wants a pillow. [tosses the heating pad onto a pile of newspapers]

Tails: Hold it! [ending Perci's flashback] How did you guys get in here in the first place?

Perci: We just walked in.

Tails: And there weren't lasers or cages or anything like that?

Sonic: Nope, just a popping sound and some electrical buzzing.

Tails: [sighs] I know what happened. My new defense system must've short-circuited, which means I'm the one responsible for the fire.

Designated Heroes

Sonic: Man! You guys got totally schooled by Eggman! That's lame!

Amy: The guy's a lot trickier one-by-one.

Sticks: He's actually pretty smart! He sometimes forgets he's a doctor!

Knuckles: Hey, you guys will never believe what I found in this hole!

Tails: Dirt?

Knuckles: Lucky guess!

Cubot: You know, you sometimes forgot he's a doctor!

Cabin Fever

Sonic: Uh! There's got to be something fun to do around here. [opens a drawer and discovers a hand bound manuscript] Huh? [picks up the manuscript from the drawer] Well, well, well. "A Rose without Thorns" a play in 3 acts, and guess who wrote it...

Knuckles: Me?

Sonic: No, not you. Amy.

Knuckles: Oh…

Sonic: [coughs] "An empty stool sits under a spot light as the lovely, charismatic and super popular, Annie Rose appears from the curtain and pours herself a glass of lemonade."

Sticks: [snatches the manuscript from Sonic] "'Twas years since I first met the mysterious stranger, the one with the fur, the colour of the ocean." Who do we know with ocean coloured fur?

Knuckles: Me?

Sonic: Well, it can't be me though I am mysterious, I'm more of a royal blue. [takes the script from Sticks and reads from it] "Sonar enters, pitter pattering across the stage in his scarlet loafers." Sonar. [coughs; as "Sonar"] "Hey, Annie! I'm gonna play volley ball. I only play against myself because nobody else can keep up." See? He doesn't sound anything like me! He's an egomaniac without the incredible awesomeness to back it up.

Sticks: [takes the script] "Thump, thump, thump, a knock at the door like the sound of some one big and strong, but unable to figure out a simple doorknob. Annie Rose sautés to the door and answers revealing Shoulders, the hulking dullard of a farm hand."

Knuckles: Me…?

Sticks: "Shoulders strides towards Annie, but is distracted by a shiny object."

Knuckles: It doesn't say that! [snatches the script from Sticks] Give it here! [distracted by the "shiny" metal bands held by the manuscript] Wait, what was I about to do?

Tails: [takes the script from Knuckles] "But before Annie can reply, a naïve young fox named Taylor enters, cowering beneath the legs of Sonar." Hey! I don't cower! [cowers the lightning and hides beneath Sonic's legs] Curse you, irony!

Sticks: [takes the script from Tails] "Just when all hope is lost, enter Twigs the crazy eyed feral badger." [as Twigs] "Miss Annie, the robot apocalypse is nigh! I intercepted a transmission from my toaster!" This is just ridiculous! Everyone knows when the roboapocalypse arrives, it's the can openers that would transmit signals! Toaster. [Amy stares nearby and dropped the tray of pop opers.]

Amy: [furiously] What... are... you... DOING?! You're reading my play!? That's an invasion of my privacy! [Sticks gives the script back to Sonic]

Sonic: We have a right to read it since we happen to be all the characters!

Amy: It's not based on you guys!

Sticks: Oh, no…? [holds up a shiny object in front of Knuckles]

Knuckles: Ooh, gimme, gimme, gimme! [comes running after the shiny object and takes it from Sticks] Oh, like Twigs isn't exactly like you!

Sticks: She'd be wiped out by the roboapocalypse in 2 seconds, taking advice from toasters! Can you believe these people?

Tails: Guys, stop fighting! Right, Sonic?

Knuckles: Was that you talking, "Taylor"? I couldn’t see you in Sonic's shadow!

Sonic: Good one, Knux!

Tails: At least I'm not an egomaniac, "Sonar"!

Sonic: That character wasn't like me at all! He was nearly as awesome as I am!

Amy: You know what's not awesome? Rummaging through my drawers and reading my personal manuscript!

Knuckles: When this storm blows over, maybe we should all go our separate ways!

Amy: Why wait? I'm going to the kitchen, where I will make and consume all the dainty hors d'oeuvres I want... without ketchup! [snatches the script from Sonic and walks off]

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Sticks: FINE!

Counter Productive

[Sticks, Knuckles, Tails and Amy sitting whilst Sonic is running around a table.]

Tails: We're approaching hour 23 of Sonic and Knuckles' stay awake challenge and it's still anybody's game. Sticks, what do you make of their strategy so far?

Sticks: It appears Sonic is jogging in circles to stay awake while Knuckles keeps his focus by watching late night TV. Both strong approaches, but personally, I find the grim knowledge that our freedom is slowly eroding enough to keep me awake at night.

Sonic: Give it up, Knuckles. I can keep moving all night. The second you find something boring on TV, you're going to be out like a light.

Knuckles: Don't be silly, Sonic, TV is never boring. [changes channels]

Comedy Chimp: So, Soar. Tell us more about your dried, dense and complicated new book about introspection and selfbetterment.

Knuckles: Aww...

Soar: My new book, counter productive, is about fixing your old mistakes, times when you made a mess of things. [Knuckles watches him interested] When you were a bad apple, active like a basket case.

Knuckles: [starts to have a flashback at a market where Charlie works] Hey, Charlie. Can I borrow your basket? It's really important! [grabs and puts the baskets on his feet] Haha, neat! I'm all tall and stuff!

[Back at Tails' House]

Sticks: [waving her hand in front of Knuckles] His eyes are open, but his brain is definitly asleep. Sonic wins!

Knuckles: [wakes up] Gah! Am I... counter productive?

Sonic: Nope, just someone who can't stay awake for 23-hour straight.

Knuckles: Awww…!

Soar: If you don't go back to the people you've wronged and make up for your misdeeds, then you're basically a monster and that's science.

Knuckles: [Screaming] Don't look at me! I'm a monster, a monster!

Sonic: [sighs] Hope this turns out better than when he thought he was a ballerina.

[Flashback at Sonic's Shack]

Knuckles: Don't look at me! I'm a ballerina, a ballerina! [Starts dancing]

Knuckles: [to Fennec Shopkeeper] I'm looking for Charlie. (Have you seen him?)

Fennec Shopkeeper: You mean that guy who kept dropping my apples? Fired him years ago. Last I heard, he was working at a dig-sight just outside the village. Probably mocking that up too.

Knuckles: Thanks, and as a token of my appreciation, I will buy 1 apple. [grabs an apple out of a basket and all baskets fall down] Now that those baskets are empty, you mind if I borrow some? [walks away with 2 baskets on his feet]

Charlie: Careful... careful

Knuckles: [runs to and startles Charlie] Charlie! [Charlie almost drops the artifact] (Sorry.) Remember me? The guy that turned those apple baskets into stilts at your old job? Man, that was fun, but it turns out it wasn't fun! It was counter productive. So I'm here to make it up to you.

Charlie: Oh. Wow. I totally forgot about that. Don't worry about it, my life is great now. I've got a wife, a nice house, this wonderful job, (and) digging up ancient artifacts.

Knuckles: Doesn't matter, I gotta make this right.

Charlie: Honestly, you really don't have to.

Knuckles: Can it! I'm trying to be nice to you. We'll start with your lunch order.

Charlie: [gets a sandwich out of his pocket] But I brought my lunch.

Knuckles: [grabs the sandwich] Not good enough. [throws it into a nearby lake] I'm gonna get you something special! [runs off, one of the baskets falls off and hits Charlie on the head who let go of the artifact which breaks]

Knuckles: [arrives as Charlie tries to fix the artifact] Soups on! [grabs everything on the table and throws it off, the artifact breaks again] I got braised short-rib on focaccia toast with a dollop of garlic chaiaboly and just a hint of lime.

Charlie: Actually, that sounds pretty good.

Knuckles: I thought so too. That's why I ate it on the way here, but don't worry. Look what I found. [holds up Charlie's wet sandwich] Can you believe some dope just tossed this in the lake?

Charlie: (Um... Thanks? Anyways...) I really should get back to work. [turns around and starts collecting the things from the floor]

Knuckles: Oh, let me get those for you, because I'm helpful and not counter productive.

Charlie: No, really. It's o– (Wait… W-what, "counter productive"?)

Knuckles: Charlie, come on! It's me! [throws the sandwich away, takes a pickax and a shovel falls on Charlie's foot]

Charlie: Ah, ouch! [jumps around and steps on the sandwich which makes him fall down] (I'm alright, I'm okay.)

Knuckles: The working conditions here are dangerous! I'm gonna go talk to your union rep.

Charlie: Phew. Honey, you would not believe the day I had. [notices Knuckles who sits at the table] (What the…?)

Knuckles: Hi, Charlie!

Charlie: [sits down] Sweetheart, what is he doing here?

Belinda: (Who, Knuckles? Oh.) I invited your friend for dinner.

Charlie: But honey… we have that thing tonight?

Belinda: I don't recall any thing. If you're trying to imply that you don't want someone here, perhaps you should just say it!

Knuckles: What are you guys talking about? (Know what? Never mind.)

Knuckles: [arrives] I wanted to be helpful, so I picked up all those tiny flags you carelessly left scattered around in the dirt.

Charlie: Those flags were marking the locations of valuable artifacts. I'm going to have to redo all that work now.

Knuckles: Aw, man. You should probably put flags by those flags, so no one picks them up, but don't worry. I'll fix it. [puts a flag on an artifact that activates and destroys a part of the construction sight]

Charlie: Oh, no. It's my boss, Mr. Slate.

Mr. Slate: What's the meaning of all this

Charlie: But–

Knuckles: [to Charlie] I'll handle this. [to Mr. Slate] You can't talk to Charlie like that. You're not the boss of him!

Mr. Sleight: Not anymore I'm not. [to Charlie] You're fired!

Charlie: [he and Knuckles walking through the rain] How am I going to break this news to my wife?

Knuckles: Ah, don't worry about that. I already called her!

Charlie: You did what?! [runs to his house, a suitcase is thrown near his feet]

Belinda: When are you going to stand up for yourself? [throws a bundle to the suitcase, walks inside the house and closes the door]

Knuckles: What's her problem?

Charlie: [screaming] You did this, you ruined my life! (So you're the problem!)

Knuckles: (Oh, boy…) No worries, Charlie. I’m gonna make it up to you... as soon as I finished making up for that other thing I did, whatever that was.

Charlie: You’re a menace. I’m not gonna let people like you cause problems for me anymore! [laughs maliciously and runs off to the construction sight works on something] You’ll see. They’ll all see. [laughs]

Sonic: Knuckles, this is going on long enough. You gotta stand up to him.

Knuckles: No, this is my own fault. I got him fired, remember? And like Soar the Eagle probably says in that book I didn’t read, I can’t rest until I’ve made it up to him.

Amy: Can you at least stop letting him taking your lunch money?

Knuckles: Fine, Amy. I’ll try to avoid letting Charlie take my lunch money... for you.

Charlie: Let’s see that lunch money.

Knuckles: Charlie, as things aren’t going well between you and I, I have decided to enlist the help of a local police officer to act as a go-between. I think his experience in dealing with tense situations will proof valuable to both of us. [Charlie reaches out his hand, the frightened the Beaver Policeman drops his money in it and leaves. Charlie reaches out once more and Knuckles drops his money too. Charlie is sitting in his armor, Knuckles sneaks up to him] Charlie is not letting up, but I can’t go back to being counter productive, so I’ll take the high road and stay out of his way until he cools off. [Charlie notices him, takes a huge ice cream and smashes it onto Knuckles] I figured it out! All Charlie really wants is a friend. Yeah, he is practically crying out to me for help! [reaches to Charlie] Hello, pal! I baked you this pie! Perhaps we can see a movie together and/or enjoy a frosted beverage.

Charlie: [grabs the pie and smashed it into Knuckles’ face, then grabs him and throws him into a dustbin] See the wrath of my super villain powers! [Knuckles falls screaming and stops in front of Sonic, Tails and Amy]

Tails: Great news, Knuckles! I think Charlie just let you off the hook.

Knuckles': Really? Because from my perspective, it didn’t go so well.

Sonic: No, what Tails means is that Charlie just called himself a super villain.

Amy: [looks into Counter Productive] Page 235 of Counter Productive - "If the person you’re trying to make up to turns into a super villain, you can forget all that stuff I said about fixing your past mistakes. In that case, knock yourself out."

Knuckles: I know what I have to do now!

Eggman: Let’s go, Charlie! [claps his hands, no one joins in] Really, nothing? Am I the only one on the side of evil here?

[Charlie attacks Knuckles with the ray, Knuckles can hit him and Charlie falls on the stairs, the civilians are cheering. Charlie gets up and attacks again, he can hit Knuckles]

Belinda: Alright, Charlie! Crush him!

Charlie: Let’s finish this, Knuckles! [Knuckles looks around and sees a dustbin. As Charlie attacks again, he takes the cap of the bin and reflects the ray, which freezes his robot arm] What the…? [Knuckles destroys the arm, Charlies armor falls down. He throws some dust at Knuckles, Eggman and Belinda cheer. Charlie attacks Knuckles again with the ray, but he can reach the armor and demolish it. The Civilians are cheering]

Knuckles: Truce? (And... no hard feelings?)

Belinda: [walks to Knuckles] Truce. (And not all.)

Eggman: Aw, come on! It was just starting to get good!

Sonic: Great job, Knuckles! You stood up for yourself and stopped a super villain.

Knuckles: Thanks, guys. Who’s up for some burgers? My treat! [runs to Charlie] Give me all your lunch money! [laughs] Ah, just kidding! [Team Sonic walks off laughing]

Belinda: Great job, Charlie! You stood up for yourself and got a new job... as a super villain.

Charlie: But what about the truce? [Belinda shows him her crossed fingers]

It Takes A Village To Defeat A Hedgehog

Shadow the Hedgehog: [off-screnn] So this is why you called me here.

Eggman: [gasps and drops the cheese tray] Shadow the Hedgehog… Hey everybody, look! Shadow's here! I knew springing for those embossed invitations would impress!

Weasel Bandit: Who's he?

Eggman: He's only the second most popular character in the whole canon! Let me get you a chair, Mr. Shadow. [pulls the chair out from under Dave the Intern, sending him crashing to the floor]

Dave: Ow...! [Eggman pushes the chair over to Shadow]

Shadow: Hm. I prefer to stand.

Eggman: You never know what's going to happen on the battlefield. Which is why it's important to think on your feet. This is a little game I used to play with my old improv troupe, The Gigglesnorts. It's called "Zip Zap Zop". We pass around an imaginary ball, saying "zip", "zap", or "zop" as we go. I'll start. [passes the "ball" to T.W. Barker] Zip!

T.W. Barker: [catches the "ball," and passes it to Shadow] Zap! [Shadow just stands there, doing nothing.]

Eggman: Eh… that's to you, Shadow. You wanna zap that one over to Dave, or maybe zap that bad boy back to me? Heh… no?

Shadow: Pft.

Eggman: He pfted it! We'll count that. Great job, Shadow!

Shadow: Silence, fool! [The other villains gasp.] I suffered your presence long enough. [turns to leave]

Eggman: N-no! Don't go! We're not done bonding yet! We were gonna roast wieners and play flashlight tag. We're making history here! A collection of villains like this has never been assembled before!

Shadow: [turns around] I see no villains, just some fools whose only ability is wasting time!

Eggman: That's something, isn't it?

Shadow: No, not really. (I determent my own destiny.) [disappears; Eggman sighs]

Shadow: You fool! I had him just where I wanted him!

Eggman: Sorry! That one's on me, Shadow. Forgot to turn off the flash. Pic looks great, though, if it's any consolation.

Shadow: Enough! How's a guy supposed to destroy his foes with dolts like you wandering around? [to Sonic] We'll fight again soon, Sonic, but next time, on my terms. [disappears as the rest of Team Sonic run up and do a group fistbump]

Cubot: What a swell adventure! I sure hope there's more next year.

Orbot: Just think of all the hundreds more stories to be told using the same 8 characters and 4 locations. The possibilities are limitless!

Cubot: Just to be on the safe side, maybe we should start an internet petition.

Tommy Thunder: Method Actor

Knuckles: I can't believe we're about to meet Tommy Thunder! He's my favorite movie star! He's got it all. Strength, muscles, ability to lift stuff!

Amy: Not to mention eyes you could get lost in for days!

Tails: Hey, remember when Tommy was being chased by ninja pirates while skiing down Haunted Mountain?

Knuckles: What movie was that again?

Tails: "Ninja Ski Pirates on Haunted Mountain"?

Knuckles: I don't think that was it.

Sonic: Tommy's movies are great, but his heroics can sometimes seem unrealistic.

Sticks: Oh, come on! It doesn't get any more realistic than the underwater bear fight in "Mutant Commando 3"!

Tommy Thunder: Tommy is happy to be here. [whispering to himself] Ugh, this place is a dump.

Walrus Child: Tommy, you're our hero.

Thunder: That's great. Maybe you can be a hero someday too! [hands an awkward photo of him with his signature to the Walrus Child. The crowd walks away, allowing Team Sonic to go the front]

Sonic: Hi, Mr. Thunder. We're all big fans of your work–

Tommy: [interrupts Sonic's sentence] That's great, maybe you can be a hero someday too!

Tails: Did you hear that, Sonic? He said I could be a hero someday!

Sonic: You are a hero, Tails.

Tails: Thanks. Though it means a lot less coming from you.

Tommy: Knock, knock! [imitates knocking] I have to say that because you don't have a door. It's... kinda pathetic actually. (No offense.)

Sonic: [annoyed] What do you want, Tommy?

Tommy: You're right (about one thing) - being a hero isn't about ego, it's about... elaborate gifts! [goes out and comes back in with a tray with a basket of a carved watermelon of Sonic's head, Sonic comes forward] It's your visage in melon form. So, now can I follow you on your action packed adventures?

Sonic: [unamused] Slam! I have to say that because I don't actually have a door.

Tommy: Knock, knock! Still no door, huh?

Sonic: [uninterested] What do you want, Tommy?

Tommy: I just wanted to thank you for teaching Tommy how to think, feel and behave like a real hero. Now Tommy's got the whole thing done cold!

Sonic: Wait a sec, Tommy dosen't– [Stops and changes his sentence] I mean, you don't think you actually captured those Weasel Bandits, do you?

Tommy: Eh, Tommy sees what's going on here, you're jealous! Tommy be jealous of Tommy too.

Sonic: What?! I'm not jealous!

Tommy: Tommy dosen't have time to argue, he's late for his appearance on the Comedy Chimp Show. Tommy Thunder, out!

Tommy: Hey, be honest with me. How'd Tommy look on camera? [squeaky responses] He-he. Yeah, those shoelifts really help. [The call is interrupted by Obliterator Bot stomping the ground, followed by the appearance of Motobugs, Crab Bots and Bee Bots who surround him.]

Eggman: [taunting] Well, well. If it isn't Tommy "Blunder" - international superstar, and hurter of feelings.

Tommy: Uh, Malcolm. Gotta call you back. [closes mobile phone; to Egman] Hey, big E! Don't take any of that stuff Tommy said too seriously, it's all part of the show! [laughs nervously]

Eggman: Well you make an interesting point, but on the other hand... [to Obliterate Bot] Obliterator Bot, obliterate! [Obliterator Bot charges up and fires several lasers]

Tommy: [barely dodges them] Ahh! Mommy! [Kneels to Sonic, who is watching him. He turns to Sonic and begs.] (You were right all along, Sonic.) I'm not really a hero, I'm just an actor! [whispers] An "A-list" actor, but still...! [grabs Sonic's foot] My name's not really Tommy Thunder either. It's... Irwin Fertelmeister! (Please, don't tell anyone.)

Sonic: Well, Irwin. In that case… [fights Obliterator]

Eggman: Hey, what did Obliterator Bot ever do to you, other than try to obliterate you…? [Sonic pulls out a blue Enerbeam and then ties it around Obliterator Bot's legs. The robot loses it's balance and falls on a Crab Bot, destroying it.] Grrr! [his Wrist Communicator starts beeping] Ah, you're lucky my muffins are ready. [drives away]

Tommy: Tommy did it all! And now that his hero research is finished, Tommy's ready to deliver a complicated nuance performance in his most realistic film to date, "Attack of the Giant Hand People... in Space"!

Spacemageddonocalypse

Eggman: Our planet is about to be hit by a giant asteroid. Come with me if you want to pay! [Orbot puts his hand to his mouth.] I mean, live.

Sonic: [sarcastically] Really? That we're about to be obliterated by a giant asteroid scheme?

Eggman: This asteroid is real which, I'll admit, takes some joy out of a scheme, but you gotta dance with the girl what brung you. [Villagers laugh] Go on, laugh, but you won't be laughing when you're crushed by a giant meteor. That's only funny when it happens to someone else! Comedy 101 people!

Tails: I can spot anything coming at us with my "Tail-escope"!

Sonic: Uh, how is a "Tail-escope" different from a telescope?

Tails: [sadly] It's not. [looks through his "Tail-escope" seeing giant asteroid in outer space appears] A giant asteroid coming to destroy us!

Sticks: This is just an alien invasion cover-up! I hope it's the aliens who help us build stuff, not the ones who eat us!

Tails: If my calculations are correct, the asteroid is on the direct course for this planet. [displays a chart with drawings of planets]

Mayor Fink: Oh, asteroids fly by all the time. What are the chances it will actually hit us?

Tails: 100%.

Mayor Fink: I can live with those odds.

Tails: I think the best move would be to deflect the meteor–

Eggman: So is it a meteor or an asteroid?

Mayor Fink: That's a good question!

Sonic: No, it's not! He's just trying to distract us so he can sell spots in his bunker.

Tails: Our best bet is to blow up the asteroid and send it off its current course.

Eggman: ...Or we could let it hit us, and by "us", I mean "anyone who hasn't paid to live in my bunker".

Professor Cluckins: I suggest we have everyone jump at the same time and throw our planet off its orbit!

Sonic: I'm thinking Tails should figure this out by himself.

Mayor Fink: In the meantime, I'm going to hide in Eggman's secret bunker.

Prof. Cluckins: I was just going to suggest that myself. [he and the mayor run out to Eggman's bunker]

Sonic: Okay, ground control. I'm ready for my mission.

Amy: Um… Sonic, we think Knuckles should go.

Sonic: [disappointed] What? No way! (Why him?)

Tails: [enters holding Knuckles' spacesuit] He's the only one strong enough to lift the machine if something goes wrong!

Sonic: But how often do I get to literally save the world?

Knuckles: [pulls out a newspaper, breaking the 4th wall] According to the TV listings, about once a week.

Amy: Sacrificing your glory for the common good is also very heroic.

Sonic: Okay, then I guess Knuckles and I will both be heroes!

Knuckles: But I'm the hero going into space to save the day!

Tails: [hands Knuckles his spacesuit] Knuckles, the Solar Convergence Device, or as I'd like to call it, the "Solar Convergence Device", has been loaded into the Egg Rocket. When it comes up alongside the asteroid, you'll have to activate the Solar Convergence Device.

Amy: Tails, we don't have a lot of time here. Can you shorten the name of that thing?

Tails: Fine. The SCD.

Knuckles: The what?

Tails: The SCD.

Knuckles: The what?

Tails: The SCD. [A few minutes of confused silence from Knuckles.] The Solar Convergence Device.

Knuckles: Oh, why didn't you say so?

Tails: (I just– Never mind.) You'll need to activate it, then get away from the asteroid as quickly as possible (if you can).

Knuckles: Got it!

Tails: The first step is to set the calibration lever to 47 degrees.

Knuckles: [confused] What's the opposite of "got it"?

Tails: It's okay. [pulls out a paper] I wrote it down for you... with pictures! [Knuckles takes the paper]

[Knuckles, now in his spacesuit, comes out of Tails' Workshop plays in slow motion. He has a serious look on his face.]

Amy: [concerned tone] Knuckles, the asteroid is about to crash into us. You need to hurry!

Knuckles: Oh, sorry. I was trying to be dramatic. [walks faster]

Knuckles: Grr, gah! What are you–?! [Suddenly, one solar panel shatters.] Whoops! That's 7 years bad luck, but who gets it, me or the machine? [Suddenly the SCD starts spinning rapidly.]

Knuckles: Hey, Tails...! [The others are relieved.]

Tails: Knuckles, you made it! Did my Solar Convergence Device work?

Knuckles: (What, the machine? Oh, yeah. Well… funny story.) It kinda broke, but being a hero, I took care of the asteroid - smashed it to bits!

Tails: Eggman's rocket sent back some great pictures. [his computer shows a picture of Knuckles on the asteroid in space] I can't believe Knuckles landed on the asteroid!

Sticks: Me neither, that was obviously shot on a sound stage.

Sonic: Knuckles might've gone to space but I kept 30 pieces of the asteroid from destroying us.

Tails: I counted 31 pieces.

I Can Sea Sonic's Fear from Here

Sonic: So, what do you guys wanna do after this? Catch the new Tommy Thunder flick, play some volleyball, maybe master every instrument in the orchestra?

Tails: I was thinking maybe we'd stop Eggman. (Maybe we'll do them later.)

Sonic: Safety first, Tails! What is it they say? "You can't swim for at least 3 hours after a meal."

Amy: Sonic, you're stalling. (But that is a good point.)

Sonic: Stalling? Why would I stall? I hate stalling. In fact, here's a list of the things I like better than stalling. Root beer, coloring books, bean burritos, 1st day of Spring, 2nd day of Spring, 3rd day of Spring–

Amy: Ahem.

Sonic: Fine, I admit it - I still can't swim. I never took those lessons at the community pool. (All right?)

Amy: Sonic, you promised. (Why didn't you do it?)

Sonic: They wanted to put me in the beginners' class with the little kids! I can't be swimming around with a bunch of 5-year-olds! They can be so cruel when they sense weakness...

Knuckles: That's why, on the first day, you have to beat up the biggest one in the yard.

Amy: Knuckles, that's prison.

Knuckles: Only if you let it be!

Multi-Tails

Tails: Alright, everyone, I've got something very special to share with you.

Sonic, Knuckles, Sticks & Amy: [with their eyes covered with their hands] Please be ice cream, please be ice cream, please be ice cream!

Tails: Introducing my latest invention!

[Sonic, Knuckles, Sticks and Amy uncover their eyes, revealing Tails' invention. They groan.]

Knuckles: So help me Tails, that better be an ice cream maker.

[A horn honks. Eggman and his Bee Bots arrive.]

Eggman: Minions, attack!

Tails: Perfect timing! Behold, the cutting edge of defensive technology!

[Tails presses a button on his invention which then emits a blue beam that creates a protective dome around the village. The Bee Bots, in vain, try to get into the dome.]

Tails: I call it the Village Fortifying Electromagnetic Protective Hemisphere!

Sonic, Knuckles, Sticks & Amy: Meh.

Tails: I mean, uh... Dome-pocalypse?

Sonic, Knuckles, Sticks & Amy: [applauding] Yeah!

Sonic: Alright!

[Eggman tries to shoot lasers into the dome, but they keep on bouncing off the shield and hitting his own robots.]

Eggman: What is this? Some sort of “Village Fortifying Electromagnetic Protective Hemisphere”?

Tails: No! It's “Dome-pocalypse”!

Eggman: Ooh, good name! But it won't stop me - and by me, I mean Obliterator Bot.

[Obliterator Bot appears. Obliterator Bot tries in vain to chainsaw through the shield. It then tries to shoot a laser through the dome, which causes the laser to bounce off and hit Eggman. Obliterator Bot tries shooting another laser, which bounces off the dome and shoots Obliterator Bot's head off. Obliterator Bot falls and the villagers applaud.]

Tails: Sonic's right. I can't think of every possible outcome because I am only one guy, but if I could split myself into five, I can form a brain trust of super scientists!

[The camera angle changes, revealing that Tails was saying that to Male Fennec.]

Male Fennec: I don't care. So you going to gonna buy a set of encyclopedias or what?

[Tails does not say anything to Male Fennec and Male Fennec decides to leave with the encyclopedias. Tails activates into his machine, steps into it and gets split into five copies of himself. All 5 Tailses walk out of the machine.]

Tails Clone #1: Okay, brain trust. What do we do now?

Tails Clone #2: [raising his hand] Ooh, ooh ooh ooh!

Tails Clone #1: Yes?

Tails Clone #2: I don't know.

Tails Clone #3: [laughs] You're dumb!

Tails Clone #2: Am not!

Tails Clone #4: Hey! This wall tastes like dirt!

[All five clones lick the wall.]

Tails Clone #1: Sonic, want to see my new invention? [holds up a gum wrapper with bottle caps glued to it]

Sonic: Tails, that's not an invention. That's some bottle caps stuck to a gum wrapper.

[Clone #1 looks at the gum wrapper confusedly.]

Sonic: You seem off today, buddy. Maybe you just need something to eat. I'll run and get you a Meh Burger.

[He runs to Meh Burger and notices Clone #2 sitting down and already eating a burger.]

Sonic: Uh, Tails? How did you get here so fast?

[Clone #2 shrugs.]

Sonic: Well, since you've eaten, meet you back at my place?

[Sonic runs back to his shack and notices that Clone #1 is sleeping on his hammock.]

Sonic: Tails?

Amy: Oh, good. Help me hang this picture.

[Clone #3 smashes a hole in the wall with a hammer, throws bolts into the hole, and puts the picture on the wall in front of the hole. Since the picture is not bolted to the wall, it falls.]

Tails Clone #3: I like helping!

[Amy grunts.]

Sticks: Hey, Tails. Wanna play volleyball?

Tails Clone #4: Why?

Sticks: Because I wanna play.

Tails Clone #4: Why?

Sticks: [annoyed] I don't know!

Tails Clone #4: Why?

[Sticks screams and pounces him.]

[Knuckles and Clone #5 are each lying on their own lounger and are each holding a can of whipped cream.]

Knuckles: Okay, on the count of three. Three, two, one, go!

[Knuckles sprays whipped cream into his mouth and expects Tails to do the same. He speaks at Clone #5 and notices that he is doing nothing.]

Knuckles: Aww, why didn't you do it?

Tails Clone #5: You didn't say "Simon Says!".

Knuckles: We're not playing Simon Says.

Tails Clone #5: Then who is?

Knuckles: I don't know. We better find out before we miss all the fun!

[Knuckles gets up and starts to run off. He looks back and notices that Tails is still sitting in his lounger.]

Knuckles: Simon Says?

[Clone #5 gets up and walks with him.]

[Sonic chases a clone through the Village Center, only to stop when he notices another clone swinging around the pole of a well. He swiftly grabs the clone and carries him to safety. To his horror, he looks up at the roof of the mayor's mansion, where two more clones are running around on the roof. Meanwhile, Amy chases Tails' plane, which has two more clones riding it, around on the ground. She screams and runs away when the plane turns around and starts chasing her. Meanwhile, Sticks digs a hole in hopes of trapping a clone. She jumps out of the hole and places a sheet of leaves over the hole. At the same time, Knuckles tries to catch the clone, but he falls into Sticks' trap instead. Another clone is stuck in between the fence, with another clone trying to push him through it to no avail. He then kicks him. At Meh Burger, another clone is having a bowl of soup. He laughs as the soup keeps falling through his fork. Next to him, another clone flies up into the bamboo fence around Meh Burger and falls down repeatedly. Back in the Village Center, Sonic, Amy and Sticks watch on as four more clones play with a wheelbarrow, while another clone runs around in the background. Knuckles makes a whistle-call.]

Knuckles: You guys wanna see a cheese puff that looks like the mayor?

[All of the clones get excited and run towards Knuckles. Sonic, Amy and Sticks watch on as the clones and Knuckles march in a straight line. They give Knuckles a confused look, and he then turns to the rest of the team.]

Knuckles: I'll keep them busy. You guys find that cheese puff that looks like the mayor.

Sonic: Listen, buddy. You've been acting a bit weird. You need some rest.

Amy: [walks Clone #3 into Tails' house] Let's get you to bed. [she and Sonic start to get surprised when they realize that there are two copies of Tails]

Sticks: [runs to Tails' house with her ears covered and Clone #4 following her] Stop asking me "Why?"!

Tails Clone #4: Why?

[Sticks looks around and notices that there are multiple Tails. She then screams and jumps onto the counter.]

Knuckles: [walks into Tails' house with Clone #5] Simon's gotta be around her somewhere. [to each other Tails clone, not realizing that there are multiple Tails] Oh, hey, Tails! Hey, Tails! Hey, Tails!

Amy: Knuckles, anything seem odd to you?

[Another one of Tails' clones falls off of the top of the refrigerator.]

Knuckles: Hmm... I'm starting to think there might be more than one Tails.

[Tails' clones gasp in amazement.]

Tails Clone #4: Why?

Sonic: Tails must've used this to split himself.

Tails Clone #1: That guy's a genius! I'd sure like to meet him someday.

Sticks: I guess each one only has one fifth of his brain power. That explains why they're all so dumb.

Knuckles: They seem pretty smart to me.

Fiendbot

Sonic: Look what I found at the flea market! [holds up a game cartridge]

Knuckles: Dude, is that Tomatopotamus 2?!

Tails: That's the best one in the entire series! Tomatopotamus never worked in 3D.

Knuckles: Game companies are always screwing up their beloved franchises.

Sonic: They never should have changed the color of Tomatopotamus' legs.

Knine-to-5 Knuckles

Amy: LET me see that! These terms are ridiculous. "Bananaganza, Rofflecutter, Dingleflax?" Also, the details of this contract are quite unfavorable to Knuckles.

Barker: Hey, a deal's a deal.

Amy: Oh, yeah? Well let me make YOU a deal, bozo. I'm gonna be watching you. People think I'm the cute one, the girly one. "Oh, sweet little adorable Amy Rose, wonder what kind of cake she's baking today?" I blend in, buddy. (gets angry) But I carry a big hammer and I NEVER forget!

Tails: Whoa, Amy, take it easy!

Amy: Do you know what I do to my enemies? I crush them and I eat them for breakfast! Even when I already ATE breakfast and BRUNCH! So do not push me, and don't mess with my friends! (growling)

Barker: Fine! You're out of your contract! Just keep that pink nutjob AWAY from me!

Give Bees a Chance

(Amy whimpers, sighs)

Knuckles: Maybe it's the mother in me, but I can't stand to see Amy so sad. (puts a party hat on Amy, she sniffles) Ah, that's better.

Sonic: I'm worried about Amy. She really seems out of it.

Knuckles: What are you talkin' about? She's the life the party! Just look at her hat! (Amy whimpers)

Sonic: Okay, Ames, this has gone on long enough. We're gonna cheer you up!

Sticks: It's been 3 hours. Think the cupcakes are done yet? (opens the tray)

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles & Sticks: (Screaming)

(Amy puts out the fire and she whimpers again.)

Sonic: No, no, no, no, no!

Tails: Don't cry! Oh, no!

Knuckles: Man, she must really hate cupcakes.

Tails: How about we look through your scrapbooks?

(Sonic, Knuckles and Sticks except Amy agree with Tails.)

Sticks: I like that.

(Amy opens the scrapbook, reads the next few pages. Eventually, she breaks down and cries.)

Sonic: There's one thing we haven't tried. (Walks to Amy who is sad.) Let's talk about our feelings.

Eggman's Brother

Steve: [looks around the lair and touches some of Eggman's weapons] Wow. Nice place you got here. Does that couch fold out into a bed?

Eggman: [snaps] No! [normally] I mean, yes, but you're not staying. I can't be bothered with highly improbable family reunions. I've got a lot of evil plans to hatch against Team Sonic.

Steve: Oh I can help. I've got some special abilities that might come in handy.

Eggman: Here's the thing… Steve is it? There's only 2 ways this can go. A - you're a fake and can't be trusted or B - you're really my brother and you're definitely can't be trusted, so scram. [pushes Steve towards the door]

Steve: You're making a big mistake. I'll prove it to you, you'll see!

Eggman: [slams the door in his face] Sure sounds like he could be my brother.

Fennec Shopkeeper: Oh look. It's the guy who broke into my shop and devoured all of my vegetables. [shows Sonic, Knuckles and "Sticks" an empty shop with a few turnips left] What, did you realize you missed a turnip?

Knuckles: Who me?! That's crazy talk! I don't even eat vegetables.

Glue Merchant: That's the guy who stole half the merchandise at my glue store!

Knuckles: That's ridiculous! I don't even eat glue!

"Sticks": There are too many allegations around Knuckles for my taste. Where there's smoke there's fire! We gotta cut him loose.

Sonic: No way! Knuckles wouldn't have done those things. What are you saying, Sticks?

Knuckles: No, Sonic. She's right. When there's smoke, there's fire, and where there's fire, there's... camping! I can pitch a tent outside town until this all blows over. [miserably walks away]

[Sonic wants to come with Knuckles, but "Sticks" holds him back and shakes his head. As Knuckles and Sonic part ways, Steve morphs from Sticks into himself.]

Steve: Hahaha.

[Steve knocks on the lair door. Eggman opens it.]

Eggman: You again. (What do you want?)

Steve: Look. I owe you a "My bad". I'm not (really) your (actual) brother.

Eggman: I knew it!

Steve: I'm (actually) Morpho, a shape-shifting robot from another dimension.

Eggman: I didn't know it.

Morpho: [morphs into Sonic] Boo-ya! [then into Dave and a moose before morphing back into himself] Wha-hah!

Eggman: So (your name is Morpho, and) why are you here?

Morpho: My creator accidentally blew up our dimension.

Eggman: He sounds like a dunce.

Morpho: I was created by Dr. Eggman.

Eggman: Well, lovable dunce. So, you're not my brother.

Morpho: Nope. Negatory. Nuh-uh. Nah. I'm in no way, shape or form your or anyone else's brother. Not in this or any dimension. I am so totally not your brother.

Eggman: It might have been fun and interesting to have a brother, but I guess a shape-shifting robot is almost as good. Come on in! [walks with Morpho inside the lair]

Morpho: I decided to prove my worth to you by infiltrating Team Sonic. I gained their trust and then slowly drove them apart.

Eggman: An actual brother couldn't have come up with a better plan.

Morpho: Now, Sonic's all alone, weakened by self-doubt. [he and Eggman laugh among themselves]

Robots From the Sky

In between "Planes, Trains and Dude-Mobiles" + "Sticks and Amy's Excellent Staycation"

Amy: Have fun on your trip, guys! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Sonic: I thought you said to have fun. [Amy growls. Tails starts up the Dude-Mobile and the boys drive off.]

Sonic: Amy, please tell me you're having as miserable a time as I am.

Amy: Actually, Sticks and I are having a relaxing spa weekend, but come on. I'm sure your trip isn't that bad. (Isn't it?)

Old Timer: Now over here is the official letter from the Book of Records, asking me to stop contacting them.

Amy: [heard that] (Oh… You know what?) I stand corrected. Well, have fun on your vacation. Take lots of pictures.

Old Monkey: No pictures!

Sonic: Amy, no time to explain. Tails, Knuckles and I are in jail. We need you to bail us out!

[Amy and Sticks dodge fireballs fired from an unseen source.]

Amy: Sonic, I am really not in the mood for your practical jokes right now! (Whoa!) [ducks under another fireball] Sticks and I have got our hands full! We'll talk later.

Mister Eggman

[Dr. Eggman, Orbot and Cubot walk towards the DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse to do some shopping.]

Eggman: I love the DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse! Look at this pack of ion diffusers. I only need one, but it's such a bargain.

[With the aforementioned pack, Eggman walks up to the clerk to check out.]

DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse Worker: All right, I just need to see your credentials. You know you need a doctorate in evil science to shop here.

Eggman: Yeah, last time I kinda sweet talked the guy - and by "sweet talk," I mean "threaten his family".

DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse Worker: I know, it was me. But since then I've got divorced, so your threats are meaningless. You're looking at a man with nothing left to lose.

Eggman: All right, fine. Orbot, print out my transcript.

[Orbot prints out Eggman's transcript. Eggman tears it off and gives it to the worker.]

DangerCo Deadly Equipment Warehouse Worker: [reading the transcript] According to this, you're two credits short of the graduation requirement. You're not a doctor.

Eggman: You know, for a guy with nothing left to lose, you sure care a lot about the ins and outs of academic bureaucracy. [To Orbot and Cubot] Let's go, knuckleheads. This other knucklehead doesn't want our business.

[As Eggman and the bots leave the warehouse, the focus turns to Staci, who has overheard the conversation.]

Staci: Eggman's not a doctor? [taking out her cellphone and dialing] I gotta spread the word - in song.

[A musical number begins while Perci answers her ringing telephone.]

Staci: [over the phone] Hi, Perci

Perci: Hi, Staci

Staci: [over the phone] Here's the rumor, in good humor

Perci: Here's the tale, Walrus Male

Walrus Male: Tell me all about Mister Eggman

[The focus shifts to Amy's house.]

Dave's Mom: [over Amy's communicator] Hi, Amy

Amy: Hi, Dave's mom

Dave's Mom: [over Amy's communicator] Here's the babble, on the rabble

Amy: Here's the word, anchor-bird

Soar: Have you heard about Mister Eggman?

Amy, Perci, Staci & Beth: He's no longer a doc

Sonic & Knuckles: No way!

Amy, Perci, Staci & Beth: His degree is a crock

Sonic & Knuckles: Oh, word!

Amy, Perci, Staci & Beth: He was once feared a lot

Sonic & Knuckles: Sort of...

Amy, Perci, Staci, Beth, Sonic & Knuckles: Now he's just a crackpot!

[The focus shifts to Meh Burger.]

Dave: Hello, Lady Walrus, this is Dave the Intern, can I talk to your annoying kids?

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: [counterpart] Not a doc, not a doc

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: [counterpart] Back to school, boy, you're a fool, boy

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: [counterpart] Not a doc, not a doctor

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: [counterpart] Academia can be cruel, boy

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: [counterpart] Not a doc, not a doc, not a doc

[Both groups return to singing one before another.]

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: His whole life is a lie

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: So true

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: What a miserable guy

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: So blue

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: Everyone, sing along

Sonic, Tails & Walrus Male: All right!

Amy, Sticks, Beth & Rabbit Girl: To this parody song!

[The whole village begins to sing and dance, one gender before another.]

Female Villagers: He's no longer a doc

Male Villagers: No way!

Female Villagers: His degree is a crock

Male Villagers: Oh, word!

Female Villagers: He was once feared a lot

Male Villagers: Sort of...

All: Now he's just a crackpot!

[Eggman shows up just as everyone finishes singing.]

Eggman: Why do you all look like you just finished a musical number?

Return of the Buddy Buddy Temple of Doom

[Sonic, Amy and Tails continue forward until they arrive at a cliff. The trio look down from the cliff. Down from the cliff, Eggman is being fed grapes. However a coconut hits his head.]

Eggman: Ow! Why was that grape a coconut?

Priest: [raises his arms and screams at Eggman, with Eggman returning the call] Great Lord Metal Butt. The Tummel Crystal is within our reach.

Eggman: Once I have that, my power will be limitless.

Sonic: Sounds like it's time for old Sonic to step in.

Tails: We should be fine, as long as there aren't any booby traps. [triggers a booby trap]

[The trio are caught in a net high up in the caves.]

Sonic: Smooth move, fox boy.

Eggman: Ah, Sonic the Hedgehog. Snooping as usual, I see? Seize them!

Vector Detector [Amy's Missing Hammer]

Amy: [laughs] Good morning, world. Good morning, chair. Good morning, plant. Good morning, hammer. [gasps] Hammer? Hammer!? HAMMER! [later] I can't believe my hammer's gone. It's who I am. It's like Sonic without his speed.

Knuckles: Or me without my fists. Aah! Where are they?

Sticks: They're on your hands.

Knuckles: [sighs] Oh, thank goodness. For a moment there, I was as useless as Amy without her hammer.

Sonic: Who would want to steal you hammer anyway? [sees Eggman]

Eggman: [whistling] Morning, losers!

Amy': Eggman, you stole my hammer!

Eggman: If I wanted a hammer, I'd make one myself. [groans] I was having such a lovely morning, and now I got all worked up.

Sonic: So, what are you gonna do about it, attack us?

[later]

Tails: "What are you gonna do about it, attack us?" Nice calling, Sonic.

Amy: Knuckles was right - (without my hammer,) I am useless! [runs away, crying]

Knuckles: What? I can't help that I'm insightful.

Sonic: Well, I guess I need to deal with this. Sorry, Egghead. Need to make this a quick one.

Eggman: [grunts] I completely understand…!

Sonic: Amy, your worries are over.

Knuckles: We didn't find your hammer, but we did find this crate of hand-to-hand combat weapons.

Sticks: And the best part is they're all unregistered with a serial number scratched off.

Amy: I appreciate your help everyone, but I called a professional.

Vector the Crocodile: [slams the door open] In this matter, some would call tragically a small hobble, I, Vector the Detector, will begin my investigation of "The Case of the Missing Hammer".

Sonic: Vector, what are you doing here?

Dixon: Cut! No, no, no. You're excited that Vector's here.

Amy: Sonic, have you seen his show? He'll find my hammer for sure.

Sonic: When did you get a reality show?

Vector: When they paid me big time TV do-re-mi. [[[Sonic Heroes|his eyes turned into dollar signs]]]

Tails: You should probably see an optometrist about that.

Vector: I'm here outside the Vic's domicile, looking for clues.

Sonic: I'm looking for clues, too, and I can do it 50 times faster than Vector! [sped around Amy's house and finds nothing] Nope, nothing, that criminal mastermind left no trace.

Vector: Yeah, no trace. Except these footprints.

[Grassy footprints appeared, and it ended near a bush. Vector looks through the bush and finds a card.]

Sonic: A Meh Burger VIP card? I've never seen one of those before.

Vector: They're reserved for the cultural elite. We have our first clue.

Return to Beyond the Valley of the Cubots [D-Fekt and the Cubots]

Tails: Shifting spanner. [D-Fekt grabs it using his telekinesis and gives it to Tails.] Why did Eggman ever get rid of you? You're the greatest helper I've ever had! [Hearts flow around D-Fekt's head, showing his affection.] Hand me that hammer. [D-Fekt telekinetically gives Tails the hammer, and Tails begins pounding, but the force from doing so causes one of the inventions on a shelf above him to shake and approach the shelf's edge. D-Fekt tries to warn Tails, but cannot verbally warn him.] What's the matter, did Timmy fall down a well? [The device falls onto Tails' head and breaks.] Why didn't you catch it using your powers? [The hearts around D-Fekt break, showing guilt and regret.] Don't worry about it. I'll clean this up while you run into town and get me the parts for a new one.

Male Fennec: What is it, boy, did Timmy fall down a well? [D-Fekt continues making strange hand motions.] I see. If you want to use the restroom, you have to buy something.

Amy: [off screen] Hey, D-Fekt, what's up? [walks onscreen with Sonic and Knuckles; D-Fekt tries to tell them as well, but none of them understand him]

Knuckles: He's either looking for a loaf of bread or a penguin wearing a top hat. I'm leaning toward penguin. [D-Fekt continues his strange motions.]

Sonic: No, no. Uh, it's a book. It's a movie! Oh, it's a… it's a movie based on a book! [D-Fekt jumps up and down in frustration.]

[Sonic, Amy and Knuckles dropped a bunch of parts behind Tails.]

Tails: What's all this? I just sent D-Fekt out to get parts for a new Trans-seismic Marco Accelerator.

Sonic: This would've been a whole lot easier if D-Fekt could just talk.

Tails: Maybe I could install a voice chip. I know I have one around here somewhere.

Amy: You had a voice chip the whole time? Why didn't you install it earlier?

Tails: Guess I needed an inciting incident. [Later, he installs the voice chip into D-Fekt.] That should do it. [to D-Fekt] Say something.

D-Fekt: What should I say? I want my first voice to be meaningful, and I... [depressed] I already blew it, didn't I?

Sonic: It's okay, you're new at this.

D-Fekt: Finally, I can express complex thoughts and emotions. For example, I hate being a lab assistant. I mean, uh… Tails is great, but I want to find my true purpose. Something that will give my life meaning.

Eggman: The Video Game