Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

Law & Order (1990–2010) is a long-running police procedural and courtroom drama television series, created by Dick Wolf.

Fame [17.01]

[Cassady has just sworn to Carvahal that the NYPD will find her husband's killer]

Lt. Van Buren: [angry] Lesson One: Watch and learn.

Cassady: I was just offering my condolences...

Lt. Van Buren: Watch and learn!

Cassady: [to Green] How many lessons are there?

Green: 740.

Avatar [17.02]

McCoy: You can't yell "fire" in a crowded chatroom.

Cassady: I recognise the logo on this bra. Frisky Kitty. Lingerie shop off Times Square.

Green: Really?

Cassady: I went there for my sister-in-law's bachelorette gift, but thanks for assuming I have crappy taste in lingerie.

Home Sweet [17.03]

McCoy: [about Goodwyn] That's why I'll never get married again.

Connie: Whoa, she's your...

McCoy: Second ex-wife's attorney.

McCoy: Well think of it this way: instead of making a giant leap for woman-kind, you'll actually help one of your clients.

Fear America [17.04]

Imam: Which am I first, an American or a Muslim?

McCoy: You need to decide if there's a contradiction.

[Imam's mosque has been torched]

Imam: Mr. McCoy, you asked me before which I was first, an American or a Muslim. It turns out I'm neither. This was thrown through my window. [holds up a brick with the word "TERRORIST" scrawled on it] And this morning, someone did this.

McCoy: I'm sorry. [pause] What did Ben Faoud shout at you in the courtroom?

Imam: "Burn."

McCoy: And what did you say back?

Imam: "God bless the United States of America."

Public Service Homicide [17.05]

Cassady: Hannah Welch, you're under arrest for the murder of Carl Mullaly. You have the right to remain silent...

Welch: You're kidding. He's a pedophile! He strips little girls of their youth, their innocence! He's a monster!

Cassady: It's still murder.

McCoy: If people want to watch a man crawl through a tunnel full of rats, I can only shake my head. But no one gets to sell tickets to a murder.

Profiteer [17.06]

[Green and Cassady are investigating a murder that occurred at a $2 million "Sweet 16" party.]

Cassady: My sweet 16, dad wouldn't even loan me the Buick.

Green: He obviously didn't love you.

Cassady: I told him as much at the time.

Lt. Van Buren: Don't you ever talk out of turn in front of a suspect's lawyer again!

Cassady: It just came out of my mouth.

Lt. Van Buren: Then get a muzzle.

In Vino Veritas [17.07]

Carroll: Why don't you people believe me? I told you, I don't remember a thing about last night, dammit!

Cassady: Are you just saying that because you don't want to talk to a Jew cop?

Carroll: What?

Cassady: Detective Sugar Tits? Jews control the world? Any of that ring a bell?

Carroll: I never said those things.

Green: She's Irish, by the way, in case you wanna to get something else off your chest.

Green: Mitch Carroll, you're under arrest for the murder of Danielle Hertzberg.

Carroll: What? I didn't kill anyone!

Green: You have the right to remain silent.

Cassady: And you might want to try that this time.

Release [17.08]

McCoy: [to Drake] You've had quite a run for someone so young. Exploiting unsuspecting college kids, taking advantage of their youth, their innocence, their vulnerability. And if they change their minds, to hell with them. A release is a release. Like it or not, the world is going to see you naked. Unless you pay me. Or screw me. That's a lot of heartache. A lot of ruined lives. And no one can touch you. But now, you are directly responsible for a death. And I intend to make you pay for that.

Cassady: Don't they get it? Video is forever.

Green: So is anonymity and boredom if you're a teenager.

Deadlock [17.09]

Clerk: Docket #48215. People v. Leon Wayne Vorgitch. Charges are 8 counts of murder in the first degree, escape in the first degree, and criminal possession of a weapon in the second degree.

Judge Bryce: How does the defendant plead, Mr....

Leon: Kiss my ass! That's how I plead.

Judge Bryce: Control your client, counselor.

Edlund: I'll do my best, your honor. He pleads not guilty.

Judge Bryce: And since he's already serving three life sentences for mass murder, bail's not an issue.

Connie: But which cell he's returned to is, your honor. The defendant obtained the tools for his escape while incarcerated at Green Haven. People ask that corrections place him in a federal super-max facility pending trial.

Judge Bryce: Mr. Edlund?

Edlund: No objection, your honor.

Judge Bryce: So ordered. [bangs gavel]

Leon: [as the court officers escort him out] You can lock me up wherever you want, bitch.

Judge Bryce: We're done! Get him out of here!

Leon: You can lock me up wherever you want, 'cause that's all you can do. And next time I get out, I'm comin' straight for you, bitch! [to the court officers] Get your hands off me.

[McCoy discusses a plea offer with Leon]

McCoy: Murder-2 on all 8 charges.

Leon: Go to Hell, McCoy. Murder-1, 2, 3. What's the hell's that even mean? I want somethin' real. TV time. Conjugal visits.

McCoy: We're not here to offer perks, Mr. Vorgitch.

Leon: I want one of them flatscreens. That's my price. Take it or leave it.

McCoy: We'll leave it.

Leon: Fine. But every day I get on that bus and go to court is another day I don't have to spend in here. Another chance to escape.

Robert: I did exactly what you were trying to do. Everyone agreed he should die.

McCoy: I was seeking to have Vorgitch legally executed.

Robert: And I executed him. How can you come after me for that?

McCoy: Because New York doesn't have a do-it-yourself death penalty, Mr. Purcell.

Robert: I don't care what the law says.

Connie: That's hardly a defense.

Carter: [her closing summation] 9 years ago, Leon Vorgitch heartlessly murdered 5 innocent people at a restaurant. Back then, the Legislature had a chance to make sure that it never happened again, but they failed. They failed, and he escaped. And he went on to kill 8 more innocent people. And once again, the state has failed to act. 13 innocent people slaughtered, and our leaders are powerless to do anything but lock him up and hope he never escapes again? Ladies and gentlemen, the law did not protect our society from Leon Vorgitch. It couldn't even grant justice to the families of his victims. And when Robert Purcell heard that after hearing the shot that killed his daughter, he went insane. Regardless of the law, regardless of the risk, regardless of the countless witnesses, Robert Purcell felt compelled to make sure that Leon Vorgitch never killed again. Ladies and gentlemen, the state wouldn't take action, so Robert did. Now, does that make him a murderer? That makes him a man mentally undone. First, by a heartless psychopath, and second, by an uncaring system. Ladies and gentlemen, that deserves your sympathy. And also your vote of not guilty.

McCoy: [his summation] Vorgitch was a monster. No one disputes that the world is a better place without him. But this is not about who Robert Purcell murdered. It's about the simple fact that he is a murderer. Mr. Purcell is not insane. He does not believe himself to be a judge, a jury, or an executioner. And yet, by killing Leon Vorgitch, he chose to act as all 3. He may have felt morally justified, but still, he knew that what he did was wrong. So, the question before you is not: "Did Vorgitch deserve to die?". It's "Did Robert Purcell have the right to kill him?". And the answer is no. Leon Vorgitch was a danger to our society, but so is what the defense is asking of you today. They want you to look the other way. Even though Robert Purcell ignored our system of justice, took the law into his own hands, and committed murder in cold blood, they want you to give him a pass. If you let Robert Purcell get away with murder, just because you hate the man he shot, you're telling everyone out there that it's okay to kill, as long as the victim was a bad person. Judges, juries, who needs them? If you want to see insanity, let this murderer go.

Corner Office [17.10]

Weaver: You think I am guilty because I am a woman with power.

McCoy: No, I think you are guilty for the same reason you bugged your corporate headquarters - you're a person with power who couldn't bear to lose it.

[Connie is upset with McCoy over his methods to convict Weaver]

McCoy: 'Night.

[after receiving no response, McCoy walks up to Connie]

McCoy: Ask me how I sleep at night.

Connie: How do you sleep at night?

McCoy: [pause] Like a baby.

[McCoy leaves]

Remains of the Day [17.11]

Branch: Even the noblest crusaders aren't beyond a little hypocrisy and it usually involves money.

Dr. Vaughn: He expected me to save his legs, so I did!

McCoy: You saved his legs. You lost the patient!

Dr. Vaughn: And given the odds, I'd do it again.

McCoy: Which is why, Dr. Vaughn, you cure is worse than any disease.

Charity Case [17.12]

[McCoy and Connie are investigating an actress whose adopted child died of mistreatment]

Connie: So, adopting a baby was just a publicity stunt?

Archer: I was giving Christopher a better life, and I was drawing attention to a region of the world that is buckling under an AIDS pandemic.

McCoy: Save that for the press, Mrs. Archer.

Archer: Was he going to be raised by the nanny? Yes, but so is my daughter, and so are the children of a lot of working women.

McCoy: Not to the extent that their children are unrecognizable to them.

Connie: [over a scotch with McCoy] I wanna have kids, you know? I wanna wake up with them in the morning, make them breakfast, see them off to school, and tuck them in at night. I just can't imagine seeing them as a burden.

McCoy: Some people are wired wrong. Ugliest part of our work.

Connie: Babies... babies as fashion... pour me another.

Talking Points [17.13]

Green: [about Barlow] No wonder they call her 'the most hated bitch in America.'

Cassady: You mean woman, right?

Green: No, I mean bitch.

Barlow: People love me.

Branch: I'm sure some people love spiders, too.

Barlow: They eat flies, don't they?

Branch: And we know what flies eat.

Church [17.14]

Lt. Van Buren [to Green about Reverend Sterling's arrest]: Hey, Ed. Make this one public. I want that hypocritical preacher to feel some pain.

Dawn: My husband is a minister! A man of God! I mean, do you really think he'd be involved in the murder of a homosexual prostitute? Look, why do you hate us so much? Well, is it because we have the courage to worship the Lord? Because we believe in the sanctity of marriage? Because we renounce homosexuality?

McCoy: Dawn Sterling is a terrific liar.

Branch: Yeah. Too bad she's not our witness.

Melting Pot [17.15]

Connie: I used to think this was about an immigrant chasing the dollar, but maybe it's just good old-fashioned American greed.

[McCoy confronts the lieutenant about Julio's testimony]

McCoy: I don't like surprises, lieutenant.

Lt. Van Buren: And I have better things to do than to hold your hand through a defendant's hearing testimony.

McCoy: Why didn't you get this out of Rodriguez during his interrogation?

Lt. Van Buren: Did you ever consider he's lying to wiggle out of the murder charge?!

Connie: He's denied the hanging from the very beginning.

Lt. Van Buren: Look, it's one thing to say you shoved someone. It's a big leap to say you strung 'em up.

McCoy: Or your people didn't push Rodriguez hard enough.

Lt. Van Buren: So what? We should've broken out the waterboard? After all, Rodriguez is here illegally.

McCoy: It was a sloppy interrogation!

Lt. Van Buren: My people worked Rodriguez appropriately! If you don't like it, call the Chief of D's. Anything else?

McCoy: CSU never worked up the stairwell in Erin Garrett's building. They need to now. [to Connie] And you should talk to Julio's boss. If everything's riding on this kid's credibility, I'd like to know exactly who we're dealing with.

[Easton is about to be charged with Garrett's murder]

McCoy: Do you wanna roll the dice, Mr. Easton?

Easton: Why would I kill her?

Connie: To protect your profit center in illegal workers. Over half of your employees are underpaid, undocumented aliens.

Easton: Look, maybe I cut a few corners. But it's still my word against the word of this illegal Spanish kid.

Connie: And who do you think the jury's gonna believe? A kid who busts his ass 60 hours a week to send $75 to his mother, or a man who flouts the law and parlays his desperation into a small fortune?

McCoy: If you're convicted of staging Erin Garrett's suicide, I promise, you'll do 40 to life. I'm offering you 15.

Easton: I have a family. A wife and kids.

Connie: So did Erin Garrett.

[after Easton consults with Oscar about McCoy's plea offer]

Oscar: 10 years. No property forfeiture.

McCoy: The deal is 15 to life.

Easton: If I didn't hire these people, what else were they gonna do?! How else are they gonna support their families?!

McCoy: That might be a defense in a labor violation. Not a murder. 15 years or a trial, Mr. Easton.

[after Easton agrees to a McCoy's offer and is sent to prison]

Connie: Ali had his card pulled for tampering with Erin's movie. He's on his way to Pakistan, and Julio, to Colombia.

McCoy: And Easton Construction filed with the Attorney General's office for dissolution.

Connie: You're a one-man border patrol, Jack.

McCoy: You give me way too much credit.

Connie: I don't think so. You cleaned house.

McCoy: Not really. You're forgetting Erin Garrett had a Jamaican nanny.

Murder Book [17.16]

Branch: I think you oughtta figure out who to charge with this, and do it fast.

McCoy: My bet's on Lange.

Branch: Okay. Reassure me that this is not colored by your history with him.

McCoy: I want to convict him, Arthur. It happens to coincide nicely with the fact that he's guilty.

Lange: What do you wanna hear from me, McCoy? That I killed my wife? That I cut her throat? That I gutted her?

McCoy: I read your book. I heard it already.

Lange: Yeah, and you're pissed off that you can't do anything about it.

McCoy: Contrary to what your attorney says, Mr. Lange, that's not why you're on trial here.

Lange: I'm not gonna say I killed Serena, either.

Carsley: An Alford plea is still justice served, Jack. It's win-win.

McCoy: It's still 15 years too light. Forget it, we'll finish the trial.

[McCoy and Connie get up to leave]

Carsley: You know all that talk in the press about a vendetta? It was just that, it was talk. But I wasn't far off the mark, was I?

McCoy: Show yourselves out.

Good Faith [17.17]

Melnick: Mind if I crash your little arm-twisting party?

Reese: I was just trying to protect my daughter.

McCoy: By breaking the Fifth Commandment, Mr. Reese. You not only killed, you killed the wrong man.

Bling [17.18]

Cassady: [about the victim who is a rapper] Too violent for me. Sex, guns and a nasty mouth.

McCoy: Maybe Blair's right. Maybe it is always a black and white thing.

Connie: He did have an attitude.

McCoy: Maybe he's got a right.

Fallout [17.19]

Connie: He would get a fair trial here.

Karpovich: Yes. Well, Guantanamo detention camps can lead one to think otherwise.

Cassady: [to Green] It's all in Russian, can you make it out?

Green: I'm actually not fluent. I just know enough to get a date.

Captive [17.20]

Connie: We're getting our ass kicked.

McCoy: Thanks for sugar-coating it. Any suggestions?

McCoy: [to Kraslow] Enough of your treacly mea culpas!

Over Here [17.21]

McCoy: When we send our soldiers - no, strike that - when we send our children to fight in a war of choice, don't we have the moral obligation, the patriotic duty, to care for those who come home alive, whatever the cost?

Branch: [to McCoy] I just got off the phone with the U.S. Attorney's office. They're seeking contempt charges against you. Talking about jail time.

Connie: I'm gonna go bake you a cake. Put a hacksaw in it.

McCoy: Make it chocolate.

The Family Hour [17.22]

Connie: [her closing argument] There is nothing imagined about the wrongs of Trina's childhood. Whatever she was in her adult life, she learned from a master. Randall Bailey had a pathological need to abuse his daughter. A need that he finally took to its logical, deadly conclusion. And thanks to a tricked-up claim of self-defense that has been a staple of crime fiction for decades, he thinks he can get away with it. But consider this. 6-foot, 180 pounds vs. 5' 5", 110 pounds. Consider 13 deep, devastating stab wounds vs. 8 pin pricks. Consider what it took to drive this knife through meat and bone into the body of his own daughter. [stabs a book with Senator Bailey's knife repeatedly] Not once. Not twice. But 13 times! This was not paternal love, or instinct! No! It was murderous rage! [stabs once more]

Senator Bailey: [after his conviction] You're a hack, Dilwynn! You're a pinheaded idiot! I'm gonna make it my business to see you thrown off the bench!

McCoy: I'm no politician, Arthur.

Branch: Yeah, everybody says that.

External links