May I Have This Ed?

Eddy: It's mine! Gimme my donut! [Ed crashes through the janitor's closet door.] I saw it first! [Ed, binded up in rope, runs the other way.]

Edd: Eddy, calm down. You know you're only encouraging him. [Eddy catches up to Ed and spins him around, drilling him into the floor.] Oh, Eddy. Now look what you've done!

[Ed comes up underneath Edd, still spinning. He spins into a row of lockers, knocking their doors off and destroying them. He eventually stops, and Eddy grabs the donut that Ed is holding and bites into it, biting Ed's hand in the process.]

Ed: YOWCH! [throws Eddy off. Ed still has the donut]

Edd: Goodness gracious! Have you two no respect for the sanctum of school property? Honestly, I– [Eddy clutches at him as he climbs down from the school wall on which he is plastered. A poster floats down, and Edd sweats as he gazes at it.] Oh, um, I withdraw my last statement. No harm done, yes?

Eddy: What you got there?

Edd: [folding up the poster] Nothing. Righto. Let's say we make our way to– [Eddy grabs the poster.]

Eddy: School dance, tonight? How'd we miss this?!

Edd: Isn't it a shame? Why, if only we had known sooner. Oh well. There's always next year. [pulls the blinds down in front of him, hiding himself from view. Ed and Eddy join him]

Eddy: Only losers stay home on a school dance night, and we ain't losers. Right, Ed?

Ed: Sure ain't, Eddy!

[Eddy shivers, noticing Edd is gone. The window is open, and Edd is crouched underneath it, hiding. Eddy pulls him back inside.]

Eddy: Check this out! [puts up a sheet reading "Win a Date with Eddy! Sign up heer!"]

Edd: "Win a date with Eddy! Sign up here!"? [darts over to Eddy] You're not seriously thinking of going to this– [stops talking. Someone has signed up. Eddy looks at the sheet. The name on it is Ed's] Do you realize that it's customary for a boy to ask a girl to attend? [points Eddy towards Sarah, who is talking to Jonny]

Nazz: Way to bust a move, Double D! Let's twist! [she drags him onto the dance floor]

Eddy: Hey! That's my move he's busted! He didn't even want to be here!

Nazz: [guiding Edd] Like this, Double D. Let's boogie! Whee!

Eddy: [to Kevin] Ha! Way to get burned, shovelhead!

[Kevin punches Eddy and stomps out of the gym. Marie angrily watches Edd dance with Nazz and tears the cover off the speakers.]

Lee: You gonna let that hussy steal your man, Marie?

Marie: [grabbing Eddy] Get up, shorty! We're dancing! [grabs Eddy and slams him into Nazz. Edd looks at them] Quick, he's looking! Make like an octopus and suck face!

Ed: [dancing with Rolf's pig, Wilfred] Wilfred sure has some fancy footwork, huh, Jonny?

Rolf: Ed-boy, you have broken the customary laws of Rolf's traditions! [grabs Ed] You must first ask permission if you shimmy-shake the swine! Have you no shame?

[Lee grabs Ed]

May: Hey!

[Lee forms Ed into a mallet and runs behind Marie and Eddy]

Lee: Get your claws off my man, Marie!

May: How 'bout you get your claws off my man, boyfriend-stealer?!

Eddy: That stunk! I'm done with dames. Who can figure 'em?

Ed: [as they watch the schoolhouse collapsing] NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!

Edd: Seems I did learn something from your brother's book, Eddy. After all, I did get to dance with Nazz!

Ed: And I got Wilfred's phone number, guys!

Eddy: You're an idiot, Ed.

Look Before You Ed

Jimmy: You better not drop that!

Eddy: What is it?

Ed: A poopdeck?

Edd: Not quite, Ed. This is an official Safety Club de-icer machine. Using the salt off of discarded cafeteria pretzels, we can render treacherous icy footpaths safe. [uses the machine, and it almost magically clears away the snow covering a path]

Ed: Salt is like magic!

[last lines of the series]

Edd: Ironic, isn't it? Us being singled out as a liability.

Eddy: [realizing his tongue has frozen] What the–?! My tongue's stuck to the stupid ice, and I gotta go to the bathroom!!

Ed: Do not fear, Eddy! Hibachi Man is here! Right, Double D?

Edd: Yes! Release this tongue-troubled citizen with your blast-furnace breath, Hibachi Man!

Eddy: Hey! Wait a minute, Ed [Ed exhales, blowing Eddy through the bars enclosing the Eds.] Hey! I don't gotta go anymore!