The following is a list of quotes from the first season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

The Ed-Touchables

Eddy: You know what they say - a little childhood trauma builds character.

Eddy: Hey guys! What's big, round, and costs a nickel?

Ed and Edd: Jawbreakers!

Eddy: And away we go.

[Sarah and Jimmy get in his way]

Sarah: Now just a rotten minute! I found my dolly... under my bed!

Jimmy: It's true, and here she is, see?

Edd: [holding up a pair of bunny slippers] Wait, Eddy, you know the rules.

Eddy: Aw, come on, Edd, not again.

[Edd sees his magnifying glass is gone and squeals]

Edd: Eddddyyyy. Someone took my magnifying glass. I feel so violated.

Nagged To Ed

[The Eds are in the forest, only to hear echoes of some voices of some mysteriously haunting spooks that scare them]

Spooks [Off-screen]: (giggling) Ed, Edd n Eddy - sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

Eddy: [looking at the Kankers' artwork of them and the Eds] "Look! Artwork! It's 'Ed and May'! How cute!"
Edd: [saw a picture with him with Marie] "Is that me?"
Eddy: [saw a picture of Lee and himself are married] "What the-? AAAAH! That's not funny!" [crams picture into a ball]

Over Your Ed

Eddy: "Ladies and gentlemen…"
Ed: [excited] "Ladies and gentlemen!"
Eddy: "Come buy our delicious…"
Ed: "Come buy our deciduous…" [normal voice] "Uh."
Eddy: "En-O-Gee Drink."
Ed: "Hello!" [Kevin and Nazz walks by] "I'm the Sales-Ed."
Kevin: [unimpressed] "En-O-Gee Drinks?!"
Ed: [breaks the sign down] "Here, try some."
Eddy: [panicking] "Ed!" [seeing the scam fall apart] "Ed!"

Ed: [swatting flies] "Hey guys."
Eddy: "What is it, Ed?"
Ed: "I say the cheese is always twice the fence post."
Eddy: [giving Ed a dark look] "I wish I had a fence post, Ed."

Pop Goes the Ed

[The boys are trying to mingle on different ends of the table]

Ed: Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain-Munchers?

Edd: The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques....

Ed: ...by hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths!

Edd: So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination...

Ed: ...from popping eyeballs and swelling brains!

Edd: The incision was made here to relieve the tremendous pressure.

Ed: But it was too late, his head exploded...

Edd ...with the slicing and cleaving, the gnashing and the severing...

Both [Off-screen]: ...bloody gory!

Ed: Aaaaaah! Oooooh! Eeeeeh! Aaaaaah!

Eddy: Guys! GUYS! Stop talking shop! I said "...mingle."!

[The Eds are hiding in the pool after their swimsuits snap off]
Eddy: "Someone's coming! Act natural."
[The Eds splash in the pool, then Sarah and Jimmy arrive]
Sarah: "Quit hogging the pool! It's our turn!"
Eddy: "No it isn't!"
Sarah: "Yes it is!"
Ed: "We are not moving."
Sarah: "ED! GET OUT!"
Eddy: "Hit the road!" [splashes at Sarah and Jimmy] "Put an egg in your shoe and beat it!"
Jimmy: "Come on, Sarah. Let's leave these guys alone."
Edd: "Well, that was close."
Nazz: [Nazz then comes over] "Hi Ed, Edd and Eddy. You boys look cool. Mind if I join you?" [a pause and the Eds swallowed hard]
Eddy: "Uh, Ed's got three nipples like that bad guy in James Bond."
Nazz: [laughter] "You're funny." [Nazz walks away]
Ed: "What third nipple? Show me where it is."
Eddy [While pointing to one of Ed's nipples and pinches Ed's skin]: "It's right here!"
Edd [points to the cake]: "Look..."
[A large cake is taken over to the table, and Ed attempts to go over and get some]
Eddy: [whilst dragging Ed back into the pool] "Get down! Are you nuts?!?"

Sir Ed-a-Lot

[Nazz and Kevin notice Eddy and the car]
Nazz: "Wow, Eddy, cool car!"
Kevin: [whilst Eddy closes the window] "Hey dork! Whose car is it, you twerp?!"
[Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]

Edd: Hey, Eddy. What are you doing?

Eddy: Just buffing the wheels.

Edd: Whose car is this, Eddy?

Eddy: Beats me. Where's Ed?

Sarah: [angrily] "As I was saying, I AM THE QUEEN!"
Ed: "And we are your "serviants"!"

A Pinch To Grow an Ed

Eddy: Nice boots, Mr. Inventor Smarty Pa- [is propelled into the garage ceiling and immediately falls back down in a daze] Nice pants, Mr. Smarty Boots Nice...
Edd: "Careful, Eddy, that button is very sensitive."

Sarah: "Ed, what are you doing?"
Ed: "Making Eddy tall."
Sarah: "I'm telling mom!"
Jimmy: "I wanna be tall too!"
Sarah: "Come on, Jimmy!"

Read All About Ed

Ed: [buried beneath a mountain of papers] "Hey look, my horoscope - 'New enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?"

Edd: "Summer rains, you can never predict them."

Quick Shot Ed

[Jonny is in the park reading a book to Plank]

Jonny: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a ... [startled] oh my!

Eddy: Smile!

Eddy: "AAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad!"
The Eds: [screaming] "AAAAAAAH! Plank's gone mad! AAAAAAAH!"

An Ed Too Many

Ed: It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!

Eddy: Get off me, Ed! That's your belly!

Ed: [stares at his rumbling stomach for a few seconds and chuckles] I'm hungry.

Eddy: Let's go to my house and make some pizza!

Edd: I'll make the sauce!

Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.

Edd: [dreamily] "With good luck the daily chore of applying fabric softener would become a thing of the past!"

Jimmy: [feebly kicking Eddy] Where is Sarah?! I want Sarah! I miss Sarah! Give her back!

Eddy: [to Double-D, ignoring Jimmy] Let's get this over with...

Ed-n-Seek

[The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]
Jimmy: "...81...82...83..."
Eddy: "...24...25...26..."
Jimmy: "...27...28...29..."
[Eddy gets into a metallic bush, which is their hiding spot.]
Eddy: "Ha! This is the best hiding spot!"
Ed: [with his mouth full] "We can stay here forever."
Edd: "At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes."

[Eddy has an idea to get the kids to come out of their hiding spot]

Eddy: [in a lady-like voice] "HELP ME! HELP! SOMEBODY STOLE MY PURSE! OH, SOMEBODY HELP!"

Ed: "Hmm." "PLANK! YOUR MOMMA'S CALLING!"

[the camera zooms over to a bush and Plank pops up]

Eddy: "They must be cheating."

Look Into My Eds

Ed: "Look into the circley thing!"
Rolf: "You crazy?!"
Ed: [turning to Eddy] "It's not working, Eddy!"
Eddy: "Spin it, bean dip!"
Ed: "Thanks, Eddy!"

Lee: "Look at me! I'm a movie star!"
May: "I'm a TV star!"
Marie: "You've been cancelled. I'm a TV star."

Tag Yer Ed

Edd: "Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder." [all three of them stare at the cow's udder]
Eddy: "I ain't touching that."

Ed: "Take me to your leader!" [charges the Kankers]
Eddy: "Give 'em the Burr-Head Bump, Ed!"
Ed: "I can't Eddy, my mom says I can't fight girls!"

Fool on the Ed

Ed: Something smells good!

Edd: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.

Eddy: Yes! I stink, therefore I am!

Edd: [recoiling from the handwritten Prank Master card in Ed's hand] "He's such a horrible printer."
Ed: "You hold it, Double D."
Edd: "But I have no idea where it's been!"

A Boy and His Ed

Ed: "Hmm... Kevin's got a pretty fancy garage."
Edd: [referring to Kevin's bathroom] "Must be a built-in car wash."
The Eds: "Huh?"
Kevin: [seeing the Eds in the bathtub with him naked and taking a bath] "What are you dorks doing in here?"

Eddy: [blows a klaxon, then chants] "Kevin, Kevin, he's our man!"
Edd: "We can't do it-"
Eddy: "But Kevin sure can!"
[Eddy plays a bass drum six times, Ed bangs his head on trash can lids; Edd blows a noisemaker that makes the sound a cow makes. The drum rolls away as Ed brings two lids, with Eddy in it]
The Eds: [Ed moons, showing his butt with "IN" on his underwear, Eddy is standing upright with the "K" painted on his front body, Edd holds a sign "EV"] "Raaaaaah, Kevin!" [ Edd realizes they spelled it as "KINEV" and fixes it, then smiles.]
[Kevin holds up a sign that says "Dorks"]

It's Way Ed

Ed: What's a fad?

Edd: When something insignificant becomes popular.

Eddy: Right! And we know the Eds are way insignificant!

[Fad Freaker has become popular, just as the Eds have given up trying]

Eddy: We're behind again!

Edd: Cheer up, Eddy! My mom always says fads go in a cycle. In another ten years, we'll be back in style.

Ed: I'm hungry!

Eddy: [Off-blank screen] "Shut up, Ed."

Laugh Ed Laugh

[Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
Eddy: "WE'LL BUY A TRUCK-LOAD OF JAWBREAKERS!"
Ed: "What do you mean?"
Eddy: "What do you mean 'What do you mean'? With all this glorious..." [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] "What the-?! It's fake!"
[Edd put his finger to his mouth]
Ed: "I drew it myself!"
[Edd looks back and forth]
Ed: "Eddy's mad."
Edd: "Correct. He's back to normal."

Edd: [sees a sign that says "Quarantine"] Oh, dear! A quarantine!

Ed: I've seen this before.

Eddy: Where?

Ed: [points] There.

[Each and every house have quarantine signs everywhere]

Edd: It must be an epidemic!

Eddy: So I guess we're the only ones not sick.

Dawn of the Eds

Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.

Edd: Uhh, actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.

Eddy: Uh, you don't know what you're talking about. What do you think, Ed? Ed? Ed? Ed? ED! HEY!!! What's clogged up your brain, Ed?

Ed: That! See? "Robot Rebel Ranch"!

The Eds: [amazed]: Ooooooh.

Ed: "'Marooned on a distant planet!'. 'Visitors in the void!'. 'No escape!!'. Huh? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! [Zooms into 'Adults Only' on the poster twice] It's not fair! Aw, if only I were older.

Edd: Don't worry Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.

Ed: Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out.

Eddy: "Hey, is this thing ready yet?"
Edd: "Well, actually Eddy, since it's just a prototype and still in need of..."
[Eddy gets on space rocket Edd made]
Edd: "Eddy!"
Eddy: "There's only one seat in this thing! Why'd you just put one seat, Double D?"
Edd: "Well, I told you this is the prototype. When this is properly tested, then I'll build the real one."
Eddy: "Yeah, whatever. Let's go, Double D. Lift-off!"
Edd: "Well, Eddy, I still need to-"
Eddy: "Double D, fire the rocket!"
Edd: [sighs] "Fine, but you... ah... you'd better wear this."
[Puts pan on Eddy's head]
Eddy: "Oh, yeah."
Edd: [sighs] "Three, two, one, ignition!"
Eddy: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!"
[Eddy goes flying on the rocket but it dissolves in the air and Eddy starts falling down]
Edd: "Oh! Better test the parachute." [presses a button on a remote. Eddy's seat spawns a parachute.] "Well, at least that worked."
[drops the remote on the ground, but lands face down, causing the button to be pressed again; the parachute then falls off and Eddy falls on Edd]
Eddy: "Hey, Double D! The rocket needs work!"
Edd: "IT'S A PROTOTYPE!!"
Ed: "THE ROBOTS ARE COMING! THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!"

Vert-Ed-Go

Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?

Ed: For protection.

[Eddy attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt]

Eddy: It's meant for your head.

Ed: It's my butt!

Eddy: It's not safe!

Ed: Eddy, stop!

Eddy:It's not meant--

Ed and Eddy: Aaaah! [They both fall down]

[the Eds follow Jonny to look for wood]

Jonny: [points] "There!" [The camera zooms over to a trash can full of garbage and Eddy picks up a popsicle stick from it]

Eddy: "A dirty popsicle stick?"

Ed: [grabs the popsicle stick from Eddy] "Got it, Eddy."

Eddy: [groans] "We need large pieces of wood, Jonny. Tell Plank to quit fooling around."

Jonny: "Okay, okay! He said follow him!"

Who, What, Where, Ed

[Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]
Sarah: "Hey!"
Eddy: "Give me your racket, Sarah!"
Sarah: "My serve!" [She uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then bounces back. Sarah steps out of the way, and Eddy breaks through a fence.]
Sarah: "Don't ever touch my racket!"

Ed: [Ed is running round the entire cul-de-sac asking for a cup of clams] "Can Eddy come out to play?"
Eddy: [exasperated] "I'm right beside you Ed!"
Ed: [surprised and pleased] "HI EDDY!"

Keeping Up With The Eds

Ed: THE GOAT ATE SARAH! THE GOAT ATE MY SISTER!

Eddy: Ed looking for the goat?

Edd: I think he found it.

Ed: "How did you get out of the goat, Sarah?"

Sarah: [swipes her doll from Ed] "Gimme my dolly, you big lummox!"

Ed: [to Eddy and Edd] "Sarah's fine."

Eds-Aggerate

[After Jimmy tripped in Ed's big footprints]
Rolf: "Look at the size of this footprint, I haven't seen feet this big since my great-grandmother!"

Ed: [with a hammer on the side of his face after eating the cake] "Aaaah, my itch is gone."

Eddy: "Ed, it's on your face."

Ed: "What's on my face?"

Eddy: "The hammer."

Ed: [panicking] "A TARANTULA! AAH! GET IT OFF, EDDY!"

Oath to an Ed

Rolf: [after the microwave exploded and drenched Rolf and the Eds with food] "Such waste and disrespect to the fast food stuffers is not allowed in the Urban Rangers! But, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge."

Rolf: "Those Ed-Boys are crazy like chickens. Except they lay no eggs! Ah, candied beets to calm my nerves."

A Glass Of Warm Ed

Eddy: [blearily] Who turned off the sun?

Edd: Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?

Ed: Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed.

Edd: "Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all its good people of their food!"
Eddy: [unmoved] "Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that."

Flea Bitten Ed

Ed: "How's it look, Eddy?"
Eddy: "Ed, you put the sign on upside-down!"
Ed: "No, I put the sign on the garage!"
Eddy: "Just flip it over, Ed."
Ed: "Flip it? Got it!"
Edd: "Ah... I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes."
[Ed flips the entire garage over]
Ed: "I flipped it, Eddy!"
Edd: "Well, I can read it..."
Eddy: "Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business!"
[Ed laughs, as the camera focusses on the sign, before fading to the next scene]

Eddy: "Anything good on Double D?"
Edd: [scouring TV listings] "Ooh there's a documentary on molluscs."
Ed: "Boring! How about 'Bot: Defender of the Bullyah People'?"

Button Yer Ed

Edd: "It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk!"
Ed: [yanks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head, Eddy squeals in pain] "Eddy can't talk!"

[Edd and Ed are sitting on the front porch as Eddy is calling out to them from a distance]

Edd: "The brain is an amazing organ, Ed. It's actually fooling me that Eddy's calling out to us."

Ed: "Were Rolf's fish sticks good, Double D?"

Avast Ye Eds

Eddy: Is this thing on?

Edd: Eddy, just speak into the mic.

Eddy: What, this?

Edd: Yes!

Eddy: Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward.

Edd: This instrument is so annoying. [starts to play the instrument perfectly]

Rolf: Hello, Ed-boys! When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat! [Edd hands Rolf the deflated inner tube] What? Huh?

Edd: I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.

Eddy: Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.

Ed: I'm stuffed!

Jimmy': [floating by in the background] Hair emergency! Hair emergency!

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