Season 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 | Main

Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000-present) is an American television sitcom on HBO starring Seinfeld writer & co-creator Larry David. The series is loosely based on David's life as a semi-retired multi-millionaire in the world after Seinfeld. It was inspired by a 1999 one-hour mockumentary titled Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, which David and HBO had envisioned as a one-time project.

The Divorce [8.1]

Marty: I'm excited. I'm single.

Leon: Get out there, and get some new ass. Know what I'm saying, huh? You done ran the other ass in the ground, right?

Marty: I don't want to talk about my wife like that.

Leon: You ran that ass in the ground, and you're movin' on, right?

Marty: Well, I didn't run any—we had a nice marriage for twenty…

Leon: You ran that other ass in the ground…

Marty: I don't run people's ass in the ground.

Leon: All men do!

Larry: It's not a negative thing to run an ass in the ground.

Larry: (to Cheryl's bald lawyer) I can call you bald. It's like black people calling each other nigger. Hey, baldie.

The Safe House [8.2]

Richard: If it wasn't for burlesque we wouldn't have Chaplin, or The Marx Brothers…

Marty:Oh, Chaplin was a hell of a pole dancer!

Palestinian Chicken [8.3]

Larry: [Larry is talking about his attraction to a Palestinian woman at a restaurant] You know what it is? You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? Well, here you have somebody who not only doesn't want you... doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist, wants your destruction! That's a turn-on.

Marty: [Marty is meeting Larry and Jeff at the Palestinian chicken restaurant] You know, I thought all last night, 'If Rabin can break bread with Arafat, I can have chicken at this antisemitic shithole.'

Shara: [Dirty talk while having sex with Larry David] Fuck me you fucking Jew! You Zionist pig. You occupying fuck. Occupy this. I'm going to going to fuck the Jew out of you. You want to fuck me like Israel fucks my country? Fuck me you Jew bastard! Fuck me like Israel fucks my people! Show me the promised land. You circumcised fuck!

Marty: [expressing astonishment after meeting Larry David and Shara just after they had very loud sex] Fuck me Jew bastard?

Larry: Yeah. Small price to pay for the best sex that I ever had, anywhere! This woman is amazing.

Marty: So when did you orgasm. When she said she'll fuck the Jew out of you?

The Smiley Face [8.4]

Vow of Silence [8.5]

Matt: I am the world's fastest prep as a director. You know that?

Larry: I know that.

Matt: I once did a Silver Spoons on 48 hours.

Jeff: Seriously, how much would it take for you to see Eat, Pray, Love?

Larry: $3,000.

The Hero [8.6]

Larry: So, how's your marriage?

Hank: What the hell? Why would you ask me that?

Larry: I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

The Bi-Sexual [8.7]

Leon: You god damn right I'm livin large! I just had a croissant filled with mutha fuckin' champagne!

Rosie: You know how lesbians are. You know what a lesbian brings on a second date, right? A U-Haul.

Car Periscope [8.8]

Jeff: Dementia has nothing to do with racism.

Larry: My grandfather had dementia. He wasn't a racist. He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

Jeff: I don't like trainers—not into 'em. I don't like being told what to do.

Larry: Yeah, right. That's why you married Susie?

Mister Softee [8.9]

Larry vs. Michael J. Fox [8.10]