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The following is a list of quotes from the third season Better Call Saul.

Mabel [3.01]

Jimmy: Oh, my God. The Adventures of Mabel. I–I haven't thought about this in forev– You remember this, Chuck?
Chuck: I do. Harry Thurston Peck.
Jimmy: Yeah. Mabel goes into the mountain, and she meets the king of the Brownies and he gives her some kind of super-delicious jelly and– Holy crap, 1912.
Chuck: Yeah. It belonged to Granny Davenport. She wrote her name in it. She was reading that to her schoolkids the year the Titanic went down.
Jimmy: Damn. And Mom read it to me.
Chuck: I read it to you. You don't remember.
Jimmy: Yeah, yeah, I do now that you say it, yeah. What was I? Like, five or six?
Chuck: You had had this weird nightlight that you were so crazy about. It was, uh... It was...
Jimmy: It was Daffy Duck!
Chuck: It was some Daffy Duck ripoff with a weird red mouth–
Jimmy: –Bill. Yeah, the bill. Yeah.
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it used to get so hot we thought it would burn the house down, but you wouldn't let anybody touch it.
Jimmy: Yeah, that's– You got a great memory, Chuck. The red bill and everything. Hey, what was the name of that little girl that lived, uh, three houses up from us? She had, like, a...
Chuck: Jimmy.
Jimmy: ...painful haircut. And she was always in the dirt, always dirty...
Chuck: Jimmy.
Jimmy: ...I liked her. She was al–
Chuck: Jimmy. Don't think I'll ever forget what happened here today. And you will pay.
[Jimmy is confronted in his office by Bauer, the Air Force captain he tricked to shoot his commercial in "Fifi."]
Jimmy: Hello hello. It's so good to see you again.
Captain Bauer: I escorted you and your "clients" onto my base. I treated you with hospitality and respect. And I come to find every word out of your mouth is a damn lie.
Jimmy: Captain, please. Why– Sit down, take a load off. Hey, I'll get you a complimentary coffee or a soft drink–
Captain Bauer: And your so-called war hero, Fudge Talbot? No such person, never was.
Jimmy: Granted, some artistic license may have been taken.
Captain Bauer: You entered government property under false pretenses, sir.
Jimmy: Now, whoa, whoa, whoa– I am no expert on your procedures and your protocols and whatnot, so if we failed to cross a T or dot an I, I sincerely apologize for any misunderstanding.
Captain Bauer: No, it's not a misunderstanding!
Jimmy: Step back! Now picture this, okay? What damage was done? Hey. Who was hurt, huh? Who's damaged? The base is still there, right? The B-52 is, I presume, still at–
Captain Bauer: B-29.
Jimmy: Huh?
Captain Bauer: B-29. FIFI is a B-29.
Jimmy: [scoffs]
Captain Bauer: Oh, this is all just one big joke to you, huh?
Jimmy: You don't like the commercial.
Captain Bauer: No, no I don't. But this has nothing with do with the c–
Jimmy: Well, constructive criticism is always welcome.
Captain Bauer: But I just–
Jimmy: But you should realize that most people find it uplifting. Patriotic, even.
Captain Bauer: I–I...
Jimmy: You check your recruiting numbers, though. I think you're gonna see an uptick. And you know what? If it turns out that Fudge wasn't actually in the war–
Captain Bauer: Fudge is not a person. He wasn't in the war.
Jimmy: Well, neither was Tom Cruise. And look at what Top Gun did for you.
Captain Bauer: You lied to me. You lied to my face, and I can't let you get away with it.
Jimmy: I–I think we just– We're just gonna have to agree to disagree. So can we get you that coffee to go, or...
Captain Bauer: No, no! I'm gonna tell you what's happening now. You're gonna take that ad off the air. And if you play that ad one more time, I'm gonna go to the Judge Advocate and we will take you down – trespassing, false representation, stolen valor, the whole nine yards.
Jimmy: Seriously? For eight seconds of a TV commercial?
Captain Bauer: You take that ad down, or there'll be hell to pay. That clear enough for you?
[beat]
Jimmy: Make me.
Captain Bauer: Yeah?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Captain Bauer: Make you?
Jimmy: Yeah, let's do this! You bring your commander down here and I'll explain to him how you let us on the base, red carpet treatment.
Captain Bauer: B-b-because you lied your way in!
Jimmy: Not how I remember it, and I got witnesses to back me up! Do you like being an Air Force captain, huh? Do you think the United States wants to bring action against an old man in a wheelchair?
Captain Bauer: He was standing on TV! He wasn't even in a wheelchair!
Jimmy: Yeah, well, periodically he is. And when he shows up at court, you better believe he'll be in a wheelchair!
Captain Bauer: Because you're an ambulance-chasing piece of shit, 'cause you're always the same. You're always–
Jimmy: Always on a high horse, always trying to make me feel like I'm...
[Jimmy catches himself. He calms down.]
[beat]
Jimmy: Look, um... I'm a lawyer, and this is what I do all day, every day. So how about this. I–I won't fly jet planes, you stay out of court. Does that sound good?
Captain Bauer: You know, guys like you...you think you're so damn smart, and you think you don't have to play straight with anybody. The wheel is gonna turn. It always does.
[Jimmy opens his office door for Bauer to leave.]

Witness [3.02]

[Jimmy sticks his head in the trash bin at Los Pollos Hermanos, believing that a drop guy has left something inside.]
Gus: Can I help you?
[Jimmy, taken by surprise, hurriedly takes off his watch and deliberately drops it in the bin.]
Jimmy: Uh... My watch, uh, clasp is loose–it falls. I tried to reach it.
Gus: Oh, well, I'm sorry. Allow me.
[Gus takes the trash can out of the bin.]
Jimmy: Yeah, they say a nice watch band is as the watch. That's what they get for cheapin' out.
[Gus puts on a latex glove.]
Gus: We'll find it for you.
[Gus sifts through the trash can as Jimmy hovers his shoulder.]
Jimmy: Where the heck is it?
Gus: Oh, don't worry. If it's in here, I'll– Ah, there it is.
[Gus retrieves Jimmy's watch from the trash.]
Gus: Oh. May I clean this for you? We have alcohol wipes.
Jimmy: Uh, no. It's been in worse places. Thank you. That was very nice of you.
[Gus hands Jimmy the watch.]
Gus: No problem. It's my pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jimmy: No. Uh, thanks.
Gus: You take care.
[Howard visits Chuck's house, where Chuck and a hired private investigator named Dave are waiting for Jimmy to show up and steal the audiotape in which he confessed to doctoring the Mesa Verde documents.]
Chuck: What's up?
Howard: Chuck, this has been going on for eight days now, and really no indication that it's going to work.
Chuck: It will work.
Howard: I think I've been very patient. But the cost of these round-the-clock private investigators is really starting to add up.
Chuck: Howard, this is our duty as officers of the court. We have an ethical obligation to–
Howard: Yes.
Chuck: My brother broke the law. We can't just sit back and do nothing.
Howard: I'm not talking about doing nothing. I just want to...free up our minds. And be open to alternate strategies. Please, meet me halfway here.
Chuck: [sighs] I suppose... I suppose we can limit the investigators to just nighttime hours.
Howard: Nighttime?
Chuck: Yes. Jimmy will most likely break in when he thinks I'm sleeping. I mean, I wouldn't put anything past him. It just makes the most sense he'll try to steal the tape under cover of darkness.
[Jimmy's car can be heard screeching to a halt outside.]
Howard: You really think he's going to do that?
Chuck: I do indeed.
Howard: How can you be so sure?
Chuck: Howard, I know my brother.
[Jimmy begins angrily banging on Chuck's front door. Chuck goes to the door while Howard and Dave hide in an adjoining room.]
Jimmy: Chuck! Chuck! Open the damn door, Chuck! Open the door, dammit! Open it, Chuck!
Chuck: Jimmy, go away.
Jimmy: Open the door! Open it now!
Chuck: I'm not opening the door. I'm not opening the d–
Jimmy: I swear to God, Chuck!
Chuck: Jimmy–
[Jimmy breaks in the door and pursues Chuck to his study.]
Jimmy: You taped me?! You asshole!
Chuck: Jimmy!
Jimmy: You pulled that heartstrings con job on me?! You piece of shit! "Oh, my brain used to work, I'm sick, I don't know what to do!" Asshole! No wonder Rebecca left you! What took her so long?!
[Jimmy reaches Chuck's desk and finds the locked drawer where his audiotape of Jimmy's confession is being kept.]
Jimmy: There it is!
[Jimmy tries and fails to pry the drawer open with a pair of scissors. He spots a poker next to the fireplace.]
Jimmy: Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!
[Jimmy takes the poker and pries open the drawer. He finds the tape player and pulls out the cassette.]
Jimmy: Oh, is this it? Is this it? Is this it? Huh? For this, you destroyed our family? Are you happy now?! For what?! For nothing!
[Jimmy corners Chuck and rips the cassette apart with his bare hands.]
Jimmy: Is that all there is, Chuck? Is that all there–all there is? Did you make copies? Huh, Chuck? Huh?! You tell me or I'll burn this whole goddam house to the ground!
[Howard and Dave step into the room.]
Howard: Jimmy! Jimmy! That's enough!
[Jimmy, seeing Howard and Dave, deflates and calms down.]
Howard: You need to step away.
Chuck: [shaken] Howard? You were a witness to what happened here?
Howard: I was.
Chuck: [to Dave] And you?
Dave: I'm a witness.
[Long beat as all three men stare in silence at Jimmy, who is now at Chuck's mercy.]

Sunk Costs [3.03]

[Mike kicks the gas cap and answers the ringing cell phone in the middle of a deserted road.]
Mike: Yeah.
Gus: May I assume that you are armed?
Mike: Yes.
Gus: I do not wish to see your gun. And if I don't, I promise you won't see mine. Are we in agreement?
Mike: We are.
Gus: Expect two cars momentarily.
[Mike is approached from two directions by two SUVs. Victor emerges from one car, while Gus Fring and Tyrus Kitt emerge from the other. Mike presents the "DON'T" note to Gus.]
Mike: You care to elaborate?
Gus: It's not in my interests for Hector Salamanca to die...at this time.
Mike: Who is he to you?
Gus: An associate of an associate.
Mike: Hm. How very specific.
Gus: Who is he to you?
Mike: We had a disagreement. He threatened my family. I'm not gonna let that go.
Gus: But you had let it go. You'd taken his money. Your family was no longer in danger. And yet, still, you robbed his truck. Shouldn't that have settled the matter? Most men would have walked away. But instead, you made an attempt on his life. Why?
[beat]
Gus: I understand that a civilian found the driver after you robbed the truck. Hector murdered this civilian, correct?
Mike: He wasn't in the game.
Gus: I can't allow you to kill Hector. However, I am not completely unsympathetic to your sense of justice. You hurt Hector when you robbed that truck. You hurt his business. His pride. Quite effectively. And if you were to hurt him in the same manner again, I would not stand in your way.
Mike: You want me to rob another truck.
Gus: If you feel so inclined.
Mike: I'm done with that.
Gus: Then our business here is finished.
Mike: That's it?
Gus: That's it.
Mike: No more tracker, no more of your minions following me? Just like that?
Gus: Just like that. Of course, I trust that you are done with Hector Salamanca.
[Mike nods.]
Gus: Goodbye, Mr. Ehrmantraut.
[Gus turns to leave.]
Mike: Wait.
[Gus turns back to face Mike.]
Mike: You want his trucks hit because you wanna disrupt his supply line. Hector's your competition.
Gus: Why do you ask?
Mike: Because I'm not done with Hector Salamanca.
[Jimmy is smoking a cigarette, waiting for the police to arrive to arrest him after Chuck's entrapment.]
Chuck: You won't want to hear it, but this is for the best. Please, Jimmy. Whatever you think of me, whatever colorful names you're calling me in your head right now, please understand I'm trying to help you. Here's what's going to happen. The police will arrest you. And I'm sorry, but I will be pressing charges. I told you there would be consequences. But I have to believe that you'll face those consequences and you'll come out the other side a better man. I know it's hard to see right now. But Jimmy, this is an opportunity. That's why I'm doing this, not to punish you. To show you – truly show you – that you have to make a change before it's too late. Before you destroy yourself, or someone else. And I believe you can change. You'll find your path. And when you're ready, I will be there to help you walk that path.
Jimmy: Here's what's gonna happen. One day you're gonna get sick – again. One of your employees is gonna find you curled up in that space blanket, take you to the hospital, hook you up to those machines that beep and whir and hurt. And this time, it will be too much. And you will die there. Alone.
Jimmy: I fucked up. Chuck bamboozled me, again. That tape? He made sure that Ernie heard it, right? 'Cause he knew Ernie, bless him, would tell me about it and I would come over, try to destroy it or steal it or whatever. Howard was there, and a P.I. if you can believe that. Just waiting for me to lose my shit and bust in. Chuck played me like a fiddle, and schmuck that I am, I fell for it. Moron. I'm sorry. I didn't call you, which is stupid, and I'm sorry about that too. But I didn't call you for a reason, okay? 'Cause this is my screw-up. I own it, okay? It's my responsibility to fix it. I know you wanna help, of course you do, 'cause you're wonderful. But you're up to your ears in Mesa Verde, and I can't – I won't – load this onto you too. We have worked too hard to let Chuck's bullshit vendetta threaten everything we're building. I won't allow him to endanger our business, no. I will fix this. Myself, me, Jimmy McGill – okay? You have gotta let me do this on my own.
Kim: Okay.
[beat]
Jimmy: Thank you.

Sabrosito [3.04]

[Gus confronts Hector, who is sitting behind Gus's desk in his back office at Los Pollos Hermanos.]
Gus: Don Hector.
Hector: Took you long enough.
[Hector rests his feet on Gus's desk.]
Gus: Don Hector, mine is a cartel business. But it is mine. And it is legitimate. My employees are civilians. Your actions here today have endangered them, my interests, and those of the cartel.
Hector: I am the cartel. And from now on, you are my mule. You are going to bring my product north.
[Hector notices what looks like dog feces stuck at the bottom of his shoe.]
Hector: Mierda.
[Hector takes a pen and picks the feces off on Gus's desk.]
Gus: I understand that your supply line has been compromised, and this is most unfortunate. However, my trucks are already at maximum capacity.
Hector: Make room.
Gus: Don Hector, you must understand that I answer to Juan Bolsa.
Hector: You want to cry to Bolsa, cry to Bolsa. Or hell, Eladio.
Gus: Adding more product will threaten the reliability of the entire operation. May I ask, did Don Eladio approve this?
Hector: I approve this.
[Hector rises from his seat and approaches Gus.]
Hector: You are doing it.
[Hector leaves the office.]
Gus: Excuse me, everyone. Could you all please take a moment and join me out here? Please, come. Come come come.
[Gus's employees gather around him.]
Gus: I would, uh...I would like to apologize to each and every one of you, who yesterday had to endure the behavior of those men. It was unacceptable. Despite the difficult circumstances, you all acquitted yourselves impeccably. That said, if any of you wish to seek counseling due to lingering trauma, speak with me privately and it will be arranged. Also, you will all be receiving twenty-four hours of overtime, as I am sure, in one way or another, each of you brought this incident home with you. Yes, Lyle?
Lyle: Mr. Fring, uh...who were those guys?
Gus: Well, some of you know that many years ago I opened my first Los Pollos Hermanos in Michoacán. Shortly thereafter, those same men showed up. They wanted money. And I-I...I'm ashamed to say that I paid them. You see, in that place, at that time, if I wished to conduct my business, I had no choice. But yesterday...yesterday, they came here. Here. They intimidated my customers. They threatened my employees. And, again, they wanted money. Now my friends, I-I must confess that I almost gave them what they wanted. But then, I thought, "No. No. This is America." Here, the righteous have no reason to fear. Here, those men have no power. And when they saw that I had no fear of them, they ran like the cowards they are, back across the border. They will not return. We will move on from this. My friends, I promise you that together, we will prosper.
[Gus's employees applaud.]
Gus: You sent back the payment we agreed upon.
Mike: What I did, I didn't do for you.
Gus: The man. The one killed for helping the truck driver. If I may make an observation, perhaps you were trying to correct something which cannot be corrected.
Mike: It's not the kind of thing I want to take money for.
Gus: But the fact remains that your actions benefited me more than you can know.
Mike: That's your business. I'm just glad to have Salamanca out of my head.
Gus: Well, perhaps in the future, you will consider working for me.
[Mike considers]
Mike: Could be. That'd depend on the work.
[Gus nods and turns toward his car, then turns back around.]
Gus: Would you care to know why I stopped you from killing Hector?
Mike: Like you said, it wasn't in your interest.
Gus: A bullet to the head would have been far too humane.
Kyra Hay: The confession you've written is adequate, but, frankly, I-I sense a lack of remorse. And I, for one, would like to hear an apology. Charles deserves at least that much.
Jimmy: Uh - Now?
Kyra Hay: Yes, Mr. McGill, now.
Jimmy: Okay. [Clears throat] I was wrong.
Kyra Hay: Mr. McGill, could you at least look your brother in the eye?
Jimmy: Chuck, I'm very sorry. I lost my temper, and I did some things so many things that I regret. I shouldn't have broken down your door. Doesn't matter how I was provoked. I-I shouldn't have done that. There's no excuse for that. Or for the things that I said. I regret it all, all of it more than you can imagine, because 'cause you're my brother, and no one should treat his own brother like that. Not ever.

Chicanery [3.05]

[Jimmy visits Dr. Caldera at his veterinary clinic, holding a goldfish in a plastic bag.]
Dr. Caldera: Jesus, what are you doing, man? There's barely any oxygen in that bag! You're suffocating her!
Jimmy: "Her?"
Dr. Caldera: Yeah, just because you don't see swinging dicks doesn't mean you can't tell a boy fish from a girl fish.
Jimmy: Oh yes, now I can see the lipstick.
Kim: Did you consider taking [Jimmy] on as an associate?
Howard: We did. Briefly.
Kim: Sounds like you didn't hire him. Why not, with that kind of grit?
Howard: The partners decided it would be best to avoid the appearance of nepotism. We felt hiring Jimmy might damage morale.
Kim: Nepotism, hmm? Your firm is Hamlin, Hamlin & McGill, right? Who's the other Hamlin?
[beat]
Howard: My father.
Jimmy: Earlier you talked about other diseases. Physical conditions, you said. So, okay, if you had – I dunno – lung cancer, would you have told Rebecca then?
Chuck: If that had been the case, maybe I might have.
Jimmy: So how is this different?
Male Committee Member: Mr. McGill, move it along.
Jimmy: You don't have to answer that. I wanna get down to brass tacks. I want to be very, very specific here. This illness, what does it feel like? You mentioned it's painful.
Chuck: It is. There's a tightness in my chest, difficulty breathing – and pain, burning pain. Pain spreads everywhere.
Jimmy: Sounds horrible. Does it hurt right now?
Chuck: There's always some discomfort, yes. Electricity is everywhere in the modern world. But I very much appreciate the indulgence of the panel for their accommodation here today. I can handle this fine.
[Jimmy makes a signal to Francesca, who leaves the courtroom.]
Jimmy: Right. So with the lights out, you don't feel them?
Chuck: If the current's not flowing, no.
Jimmy: I'm sorry about the exit signs. I guess they couldn't kill those for you.
Chuck: Well, they're not drawing much current and they're far away.
[Francesca comes back into the courtroom, followed by Huell. They take their seats.]
Jimmy: [sighs]
Chuck: Intensity drops off with distance, per the inverse-square law.
Jimmy: Oh, whoa. Inverse-square? I'm not a physicist. Could you dumb that down a shade for me?
Chuck: The farther away it is, the stronger the source needs to be to have an effect.
Jimmy: Got it, got it. So, if I had a small battery – say, from a watch or something – and I got it close to you, close to your skin, you'd know?
Chuck: I would feel it, yes.
Jimmy: Can you feel more current coming from any particular direction right now? From the back wall, or from over there? Or up through the floor– Can you tell us where the nearest source is, right now?
[beat]
Chuck: Jimmy, do you have something in your pocket?
Jimmy: Yes I do, as a matter of fact.
[Jimmy pulls a cell phone from his breast pocket and places it in front of Chuck.]
Jimmy: My cell phone. From this distance you should feel it, and you don't, do you?
Chairman: Mr. McGill, you were warned to leave your electronics outside.
Chuck: It's all right. It's all right. May I?
[Chuck takes the cell phone and opens the back.]
Chuck: Just as I thought. There's no battery in here. You removed the battery. That's a sorry little trick, isn't it?
Jimmy: Yeah, you got me, Chuck. Dead to rights. I removed the battery.
Robert Alley: Objection.
Chairman: Sustained. Y-you've taken all the leeway you're getting, Mr. McGill. Wrap it up fast.
Chuck: God, Jimmy! Don't you know by now this is real, I feel this? It's a physical response to stimuli. It's not a quirk. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Jimmy: I don't know, Chuck. Could you reach into your breast pocket and tell me what's there?
Chuck: [scoffs] What now?
[Chuck reaches into his pocket and retrieves the battery to the cell phone. Startled, he drops it on the floor.]
Jimmy: Can you tell the court what that was?
[Jimmy picks up the battery.]
Chuck: A battery...
Robert Alley: Mr. Chairman, please–
[Huell stands up from his seat.]
Jimmy: Do you recognize that man in back? His name is Huell Babineaux, he's on our witness list. You bumped into him in the stairway. He'll testify he planted this fully-charged battery on you over an hour-and-a-half ago.
Huell: Hour and forty-three minutes.
Jimmy: An hour and forty-three minutes. Thank you, Mr. Babineaux. [to Chuck] And you felt nothing.
[Jimmy turns on the cell phone and holds it to Chuck's face.]
Chuck: No, no, no. No no, it's a trick, it has to–
Robert Alley: Enough is enough. I submit that Mr. McGill's mental illness is a non-issue. If he were schizophrenic...
Chuck: Schizo– ?!
Robert Alley: ...it would not take away from the fact that the defendant–
Chuck: I am not crazy!
[beat]
Chuck: I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers, I knew it was 1216! One after Magna Carta, as if I could ever make such a mistake! Never! Never! I just–I just couldn't prove it! He–he–he covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him...
Robert Alley: Mr. McGill, please. You don't have to go into–
Chuck: You think this is something? You think this is bad, this–this chicanery? He's done worse. That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No, he orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof, and I saved him! I shouldn't have! I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He'll never change. He'll never change! Ever since he was nine, always the same! Couldn't keep his hands out of the cash drawer! "But not our Jimmy! Couldn't be precious Jimmy!" Stealing them blind! And he gets to be lawyer?! What a sick joke! I should have stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you have to stop him! You–
[Chuck stops when he sees everyone in the courtroom – Jimmy, Kim, Howard, Rebecca, the panel – all staring at him in shock and dismay.]
Chuck: I apologize. I lost my train of thought. Got carried away. Do you have anything else?
Jimmy: No. Nothing further.

Off Brand [3.06]

Hector: So your father, his shop. Where does he get his upholstery?
Nacho: ...From, uh, the distributor.
Hector: And where is the distributor?
Nacho: ...Jalisco.
Hector: Jalisco. Uh, I want a new way to get my stuff over the border, a legitimate business.
Nacho: Right, but the chicken man...
Hector: Temporary. I want a new front, my own.
Nacho: Don Hector, my father is a simple man. He is not in the business.
Hector: You will teach him.
Nacho: Don Hector, please...
Hector: Don't worry about it, I take good care of Poppy. He make good money, a lot more than with his little sewing machine.
[Jimmy plays a videotape of his first commercial using the Saul Goodman moniker.]
Jimmy [in ad]: What's that I see? Albuquerque's next TV star? It's you, small business owner! Struggling to make it in today's fast-paced economy? Thought television advertising was too expensive for you? Well you better think again! You can't afford not to be on TV! Look at you, you're a triple threat: great services, great products, and most of all, that face! You're a star! Wrap it all up in your natural charisma, and bam — you belong on TV! Better watch out for autograph hounds and paparazzi! And it gets better! I can have you on the air tomorrow! Yeah, you heard me right — tomorrow! Better get ready to be famous, Albuquerque! I can make you a TV star for a price you can afford! Call me, Saul Goodman! The world needs to know about you and your business! Call me now!
[Jimmy and Kim finish watching the video of the "Saul Goodman Productions" commercial. Kim is taken aback.]
Jimmy: The guy at the station said he's never seen so many star wipes in a row. It's never been done.
Kim: "Saul Goodman."
Jimmy: Yeah. It's like, "S'all good, man."
Kim: That guy has a lot of energy.
Jimmy: Nah. It's just a name.
[beat]
Kim: ...Huh.

Expenses [3.07]

Mike: I need to know what you're planning.
Nacho: What's it matter to you?
Mike: I know they're for Salamanca. Nitro pills. Your boss has heart problems.
Nacho: You already got it all figured out. Why are you asking?
Mike: How are you going to make the switch?
Nacho: [sighs] Hector keeps the pills in his coat pocket. When he hangs up his coat, I'll make the switch.
Mike: Hm. He goes down, then what?
Nacho: His heart goes out, that's it.
Mike: Lot of eyes on Salamanca. You do this, how are you going to stop them from finding out it was you?
Nacho: Are you trying to tell me not to do this?
Mike: I'm not telling you anything. Just want to make sure you know what you're getting into.
Nacho: I'm not "getting" into anything. I'm in it. I've got no choice. Hector wants to use my dad's business. My dad is a straight-arrow, he won't stand for it. Which means he goes to the police, which means he's a dead man. And that's not happening.
Mike: You get caught, it could get worse.
Nacho: You don't think I know who I'm dealing with?
Mike: No. I don't.
[Jimmy makes an appointment at the Santa Rosa Insurance Group to meet with Ms. Valco, a malpractice insurance agent.]
Ms. Valco: Hey there. Come on in.
Jimmy: Yeah, hi. I called quite a few times about an issue I'm trying to address.
Ms. Valco: Do you know your policy number?
Jimmy: No. Can you just look up my name, McGill?
[Ms. Valco types into the computer.]
Ms. Valco: Charles McGill of Hamlin Hamlin McGill?
Jimmy: No, that's my brother. Um, I'm Jimmy. James McGill, solo practitioner.
Ms. Valco: Hmm, there you are. Looks like you're all paid up through the year.
Jimmy: That's sort of the issue. Long story short, through a series of unfortunate events, my license has been suspended.
Ms. Valco: Yes, I see that here.
Jimmy: Right. Well, I was hoping I could get a refund for the time I won't be a lawyer. Now that's only fair, right?
Ms. Valco: I'm sorry, Mr. McGill. It doesn't work like that. We don't refund for unused malpractice insurance.
Jimmy: [sighs] But it's—it's a lot of money, for nothing.
Ms. Valco: I understand it seems that way, but if one of your clients decides they want to bring a suit against you, this continues your coverage.
Jimmy: [snaps his finger] That's the thing. My clients, they love me. And they would never bring a suit against me. I'm extremely lovable.
Ms. Valco: I can see that, but it's company policy.
[beat]
Jimmy: What about we put the insurance on hold? And then if someone were to try to sue me – which they won't – then we just, uh, kick that old policy back into gear?
Ms. Valco: I understand your situation. I do. But there are rules preventing us from stopping and starting coverage. And I regret to inform you that when your license is reinstated next year, because of the suspension, your premiums are going to go up. Considerably.
Jimmy: How considerably?
Ms. Valco: [pulls open a file drawer] Ummmm... Looks like roughly 150%.
[Jimmy is visibly shocked by this news. He stuggles to contain his emotions. Tears start to well up in his eyes.
Ms. Valco: Mr. McGill?
[Jimmy exhales and begins to weep.]
Ms. Valco: Oh, I... Mr. McGill, I'm sorry. I wish we could help you, but we just can't.
Jimmy: I'm sorry. It's hard. Very, very hard. I'm just having a rough time. I just need a break. Just one break. I know...I know you can't do anything. I'm getting run out on this community service, and getting ripped off left and right, and my car won't start. My gal is disappointed in me. My brother... my brother is sick. And he's alone. I spent years caring for him, and now he hates me. The only family I got left and he hates me. He hates my guts.
Ms. Valco: Is this your brother Charles?
[Jimmy nods.]
Ms. Valco: Oh...
Jimmy: I pretend not to care, but he's my brother. How can I not? He's mentally ill. He's...he's holed up in a house with no electricity. He's working by the light of gas lanterns, wha—? He's making mistakes with his clients, he's mixing up numbers on important documents, he...he...he had a complete mental breakdown at the bar hearing.
Ms. Valco: Your brother, had a breakdown in court?
Jimmy: It's in the transcripts...
[Jimmy continues sobbing as Ms. Valco reaches for post-it notes and begins writing something down.]
Jimmy: I...I'm really worried. I just... If he screws up with one more big client, I... It's just gonna destroy him. No, don't...don't write. What are you writing? No, don't write...
[Ms. Valco gestures and puts down her pen.]
Jimmy: I...I didn't mean to say that. I don't want him to get in trouble with you guys 'cause of me.
Ms. Valco: Right.
Jimmy: I... Um, sorry. I'm gonna go. You're not gonna do anything, are you?
Ms. Valco: I–I wouldn't worry about it, Mr. McGill. Please feel better.
Jimmy: I'm sorry. Just, um, forget...
[Jimmy leaves Ms. Valco's office. As he walks away, a smirk grows on his face.]

Slip [3.08]

[Mike visits Los Pollos Hermanos and talks to him in his backroom office.]
Mike: I've got a problem I think you can help me with. I've got cash I can't spend, about $200,000. If anything happens to me, my family will never see it. Now, it seems to me you opened this place to solve a similar problem.
Gus: And you think that solution could be applied to you?
Mike: It's a one time arrangement.
Gus: It would be unwise for us to be publicly associated, wouldn't you agree?
Mike: Because of the Salamancas.
Gus: If they were to take notice, there will be consequences for both of us.
Mike: I'm thinking a paper transaction.
Gus: Even so. Perhaps there is a way. One with a degree more difficulty, but one I may be able to arrange.
Mike: Would twenty percent overcome this difficulty?
Gus: I will not take money from your family.
[After a beat, Gus stands up and extends his hand. Mike shakes it.]

Fall [3.09]

Mike: This is a very nice office.
Lydia: Thank you.
Mike: You seem to be risking a lot for a drug dealer.
Lydia: "Drug dealer." If that's all you think he is, then you don't know Gustavo Fring.
[Hector and Gus face each other at an industrial location, flanked by their respective henchmen: Victor and Tyrus on Gus' side, and Arturo and Nacho on Hector's side. Hector communicates with Juan Bolsa via a cell phone placed on the table in front of him. The dialogue is in Spanish.]
Hector: What's so important?
Bolsa (over cell phone): Had a conversation with our friend by the pool. He's very pleased with our progress. He feels our consolidated transportation method is working. In fact, it works so well that our friend says this will be the only way, moving forward. Of course, your territory will stay yours forever. But this system has less exposure. Less risk. Everything moves through the Chilean.
[beat]
Bolsa (over cell phone): Can you hear me?
[Hector gets up and angrily throws the cell phone to the ground.]
Hector: I hear you.
Gus: Don Hector. I never asked for this. I do not want it.
[Hector keels over, on the verge of another coughing fit. Arturo tries to come to his aid.]
Arturo: Don Hector...
[Hector pushes him away and reaches for the vial of pills in his coat pocket, unaware that Nacho has tampered with them. He downs the whole vial, but he seemingly recovers with no ill effect. He turns to Gus.]
Hector: Fuck Eladio, fuck Bolsa, and fuck you.
[Hector, Arturo, and Nacho leave.]
[Nacho is sitting at a table in his father Manuel's kitchen with a glass of milk. His father approaches him. The dialogue is in Spanish.]
Manuel: Ignacio?
Nacho: Hey, Dad.
Manuel: I was falling asleep to the news.
Nacho: Yeah, I know.
Manuel: Are you all right, mijo?
[Manuel sits across from his son]
Nacho: Papa. A man is going to come to your shop. Soon. A bad man.
Manuel: What?
Nacho: He'll want to run the place for a while. And you'll have to let him. Do you understand?
Manuel: And who is this man?
[beat]
Nacho: ...Hector Salamanca.
Manuel: Salamanca?
Nacho: I've been working for them again. I know what you're thinking. You can scream at me, disown me, never speak to me again. But whatever happens, you must do what he says. I know what you're gonna want to do. But you can't. You can't, Papa. Do what he says, this will blow over in a few weeks. If you don't... I swear. I swear it will be over soon.
Manuel: How can I believe anything you say?
Nacho: Promise me you won't do anything stupid. Promise me, Papa. Please.
[beat]
Manuel: Get out of my house.
[Nacho quietly gets up, empties the glass of milk into the sink, and leaves.]
Howard: You're suing Hamlin Hamlin McGill?!
Chuck: Come on in, Howard.
[Howard steps into Chuck's kitchen while he's cooking. He notices that Chuck has restored the electricity.]
Howard: You turned the lights on?
Chuck: I told you, I'm back to normal. And yes, I am suing HHM for breach of contract.
Howard: Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Chuck: I believe I do. I'm calling your bluff. This is my firm – I built it. Your father was working in a two-room office when I joined him. And you, I tutored for the bar exam. You're not kicking me out. If you can't trust my judgment as you say, so be it. But you're gonna have to pay me for my share. I believe it comes to around $8 million. We both know the firm doesn't have the money.
Howard: You'd rather tear down HHM than retire?
Chuck: You think I'm trouble now, as your partner? Imagine me as your enemy.
Howard: Chuck. The damage that you're going to do...
Chuck: If you'd like to discuss this further, we can in court. Until then... [shrugs] ...what else is there to say?

Lantern [3.10]

Howard: Seventeen years. Eighteen in July, actually. All those years we built this place together. And all that time I've supported you. Looked up to you, deferred to you. Because I always thought you had the best interests of the firm in mind.
Chuck: I have!
Howard: Mnh. You did. For a long time. But you've let personal vendettas turn your focus away from what's best for HHM. You've put your needs first. To our detriment.
Chuck: I don't think that's accurate.
Howard: And the moment that I mildly suggest, with empathy and concern, that maybe it's time for you to consider retirement... the first instinct you have is to sue me?! To sue the firm? Well, I... I-I don't even know. I-In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of everything we worked so hard to accomplish? In what world is that anything but the deepest betrayal of our friendship?
Chuck: Howard, I could argue that you're the one who betrayed me.
Howard: That's bullshit. And you know it. This is pointless.
[Howard hands Chuck an envelope]
Howard: Here. Just take this.
Chuck: $3 million?
Howard: The first of three payments, as per the partnership agreement.
Chuck: The firm can't afford this. Are you– You're not shutting down, are you?
Howard: I would never endanger the firm. This is mostly from my personal funds. And a few loans.
Chuck: [astonished] You're paying me out of your own pocket.
[pause]
Howard: You won.
Chuck: What was it you wanted, beyond proof of life?
Jimmy: Oh. Uh, s-something happened, and it made me think about what–what went down between you and me. And so I wanted to say in hindsight, I could have made different choices.
Chuck: Is that so?
Jimmy: Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying it's all on me. It's not. But if I had to do it all over again, I would maybe do some things differently. I just thought you should know that.
Chuck: That you have regrets.
Jimmy: Yeah. I have regrets.
Chuck: ...Why?
Jimmy: Why? Because you're my brother. There aren't that many of us McGills left and, uh, I think we should stick together.
Chuck: No, why have regrets at all? What's the point?
Jimmy: What do you mean?
Chuck: Well, look at you. You're in so much pain. Why are you putting yourself through all this?
Jimmy: Because I wanted to tell you—
Chuck: That you have regrets. And I'm telling you, don't bother. What's the point? You're just going to keep hurting people.
Jimmy: That's not true—
Chuck: Jimmy, this is what you do. You hurt people over and over and over, and then there's this show of remorse.
Jimmy: It's not a show.
Chuck: I know you don't think it's a show. I don't doubt that your emotions are real. But what's the point of all the sad faces and the gnashing of teeth? If you're not going to change your behavior, and you won't...
Jimmy: I can change—
Chuck: ...why not just skip the whole exercise? In the end, you're going to hurt everyone around you. You can't help it. So stop apologizing and accept it, embrace it. Frankly, I'd have more respect for you if you did.
Jimmy: What about you, Chuck? Hm? You didn't do anything wrong? You're just an innocent victim?
Chuck: Let me put your mind at ease, Jimmy. You don't have to make up with me. We don't have to understand each other. Things are fine the way they are. Hey...
[Chuck puts his hands around Jimmy's shoulders.]
Chuck: ...I don't want to hurt your feelings. But the truth is, you've never mattered all that much to me.
[Hector, Nacho, Arturo, Gus, and Juan Bolsa confront each other in the lot of the upholstery shop belonging to Nacho's father.]
Bolsa: Don Hector. Don Eladio wanted me to speak with you face-to-face so there's no misunderstanding. From now on, there will be only one route over the border for our product: the chicken trucks. And that is final. But you must understand, this is for efficiency only. There's no disrespect to you or your family.
Hector: [gestures to Gus] What's he doing here?
Bolsa: The boss wants you to settle this.
Hector: I settle it right now, okay?
Bolsa: [sighs] You have to work together. It's what the boss wants.
Hector: The boss can sock me!
Bolsa: I'd watch what I say if I were you.
Hector: Who you think you are? You should be kissing my ass right now! Me and my family, we built this whole business!
Bolsa: We all did, together.
Hector: No, no! Salamanca did! Salamanca money! Salamanca blood!
Bolsa: You have to calm down.
Hector: That hacienda, I pay for it! And you treat us like dogs!
Bolsa: Hector, this isn't personal!
Hector: It is! It is personal–
[Hector begins having a heart attack. He tries to take his pills, not knowing that Nacho spiked them. He falls over and loses consciousness.]
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