A Day at the Races is a 1937 comedy film, starring the Marx Brothers, about a veterinarian posing as a doctor, a race-horse owner and his friends who struggle to help keep a sanitarium open with the help of a misfit race-horse.
- Directed by Sam Wood. Written by Robert Pirosh, George Seaton, and George Oppenheimer.
More howls, more girls, more song hits than "A Night At The Opera"! Oh boy!
(taglines)
Dr. Hackenbush
- [giving a pill to a horse] Take one of those every half mile and call me if there's any change.
- [after examining Stuffy] Either he's dead or my watch has stopped!
- [to Stuffy] Don't drink that poison! That's four dollars an ounce.
- Will you have the bellhop hop up with some hop scotch?
- It's the old, old story. Boy meets girl - Romeo and Juliet - Minneapolis and St. Paul!
- Emily, I have a little confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me, and I'll never look at any other horse.
- [the racetrack trumpet sounds] So it's WAR! I'm off to the battlefield!
Tony
- If she wants a Hackenabuss, she's gonna get a Hackenabuss.
Mrs. Upjohn
- I'm going to someone who understands me, I'm going to Dr. Hackenbush!…Why, I didn't know there was a thing the matter with me until I met him.
Dialogue
- Hackenbush: Here boy. Take these bags up to my room, and here's a dime for yourself.
- Mrs. Upjohn: Oh, no, no, no. This is Mr. Whitmore, our business manager.
- Hackenbush: Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Here's a quarter!
- Hackenbush: At the age of fifteen I got a job in a drugstore filling prescriptions.
- Whitmore: Don't you have to be twenty-one to fill prescriptions?
- Hackenbush: Well, uh, that's for grown-ups. I just fill them for children.
- Whitmore: No, no, Doctor. I mean, where did you get your training as a physician?
- Hackenbush: Oh, well, uh, to begin with I took four years at Vassar.
- Mrs. Upjohn: Vassar? But that's a girls' college.
- Hackenbush: I found that out the third year. I'd 've been there yet, but I went out for the swimming team.
- Whitmore: The doctor seems reluctant to discuss his medical experiences.
- Hackenbush: Well, medically, my experiences have been most unexciting. Except during the flu epidemic-
- Whitmore: Ah, and what happened?
- Hackenbush: I got the flu.
- [Dr. Hackenbush hands a large pill to Mrs. Upjohn]
- Whitmore: Just a minute, Mrs Upjohn. That looks like a horse pill to me.
- Hackenbush: Oh, you've taken them before.
- Mrs. Upjohn: Are you sure, Doctor, you haven't made a mistake?
- Hackenbush: You have nothing to worry about. The last patient I gave one of those to won the Kentucky Derby.
- Whitmore: May I examine this, please? Do you actually give those to your patients? Isn't it awfully large for a pill?
- Hackenbush: Well, it was too small for a basketball, and I didn't know what to do with it. Say, you're awfully large for a pill yourself.
- Tony: Hey, boss! C'mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!
- Hackenbush: I notice he wins all the time.
- Tony: Aw, just because he comes in first.
- Hackenbush: Well, I don't want 'em any better than first.
- …
- Tony: Here your ice cream. [offering a hint book for betting on the horses] One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.
- Hackenbush: That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had. [buys code book]
- Tony: Here your ice cream. Tootsie-frootsie ice cream. [code book says that horse Z-V-B-X-R-P-L will win the next race; Tony offers a free code book to decode the letters] …just a one dollar printing charge.
- Hackenbush: Well, uh, give me one without printing. I'm sick of printing.
- Tony: …just a two dollar delivery charge.
- Hackenbush: What do you mean delivery charge? I'm standing right next to you.
- Tony: Well, for such a short distance, I make it a dollar.
- Hackenbush: Couldn't I move over here and make it uh - fifty cents?
- Tony: Yes, but I'd move over here and make it a dollar just the same.
- Hackenbush: [after buying many guidebooks] All I wanted was a horse, not a public library.
- …
- Hackenbush: [after realising he was swindled by Tony] Get your Tootsie-Frootsie. Nice ice cream. Nice Tootsie-Frootsie ice cream.
- Hackenbush: Record department. Col. Hawkins talkin'.
- Whitmore: Col. Hawkins, did you get a wire for me regarding Dr. Hackenbush?
- Hackenbush: [turns on a fan and blows a paper against it] I'm sorry sir. There's a hurricane blowin' down here, and you have to talk a little louder. Woo! It's certainly the windiest day we ever had! WOO! Certainly is windy!
- Whitmore: I want to find out about Dr. HACKENBUSH! (Hackenbush calls him on the intercom, pulling him away from the phone) Yes?
- Hackenbush: Whitmore you'll have to cut out that squawking! The patients are all complaining! [on the phone, posing as Colonel Hawkins]...I hope, sir, that's the information that you require.
- Whitmore: I'm sorry, Colonel. I didn't hear it. I was called to the dictagraph.
- Hackenbush: What was that you said sir?
- Whitmore: [loudly] I was called to the dictagraph!
[Hackenbush turns on the intercom again]
- Hackenbush:: Whitmore, one more yelp outta you and I'll have you bounced out of here! (on the phone)...And I trust, sir, that that answers your question.
- Whitmore: I'm sorry, Colonel, I didn't hear you!
- Hackenbush: I can't hear you, you will have to talk a little louder.
- Whitmore: I want to find out something about Hackenbush! (Hackenbush calls him on the intercom again) Well, what is it now?!
- Hackenbush: Whitmore, that's the last time I'm gonna warn you about that yowling! (on the phone) And in conclusion, let me say…
- Whitmore: I'm sorry Colonel. What was that you said about Hackenbush?
- Hackenbush: Hack- you mean, Dr. Hackenbush? Oh, no, he's not here.
- Whitmore: (with mounting impatience) I know he's not there. He's here!
- Hackenbush: Then what are you botherin' me for, Yankee?
- Whitmore: But I want to know something about his Florida record-
- Hackenbush: (in a female telephone operator's voice) Here's your Florida call, Mr. Whitmore-
- Whitmmore: Operator, will you get off the line! Hello, hello, Colonel?
- Hackenbush: Yes?
- Whitmore: Are you sure you're speaking about Hugo Z. Hackenbush?
- Hackenbush: Who?
- Whitmore: Hugo Z. Hackenbush!
- Hackenbush: Who's calling him?
- Whitmore: (barely controlling his temper)...The Standish Sanitarium.
- Hackenbush: Yeah! That's where he works! Say, I understand he's doing a mighty fine job up there.
- Whitmore: I... I want to get some information regarding his qualifications for the job.
- Hackenbush: What job?
- Whitmore: As head of the sanitarium!
- Hackenbush: Who?
- Whitmore: Hackenbush!
- Hackenbush: [on the intercom] Whitmore, are you calling me?
- Whitmore: No, you sap! (picks up the phone)... Hello.
- Hackenbush: Yes, now, uh, now what was that name?
- Whitmore: Hackenbush. HACK-EN-BUSH!
- Hackenbush: Uh-huh. Well, as soon as he comes in, I'll have him get in touch with you.
- Whitmore: [slamming down the phone] No!
- Hackenbush: [examining Stuffy with an auriscope] I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde.
- Tony: Told you he was sick.
- Hackenbush: [pointing to Stuffy's neck] That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%.
- Tony: That's bad.
- Hackenbush: With a 1% mentality. [Stuffy grins] He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at.
- Tony: Hey doc. Hey doc!
- Hackenbush: Huh?
- Tony: You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself.
- Hackenbush: I knew it all the time. That was a good joke on all of us, wasn't it?
- Flo: Why, I've never been so insulted in my life!
- Hackenbush: [after looking at his watch] Well, it's early yet.
[Tony enters, wearing a pitiful disguise]
- Tony: I'm O'Reilly, the house-detective.
- Hackenbush: Don't talk so loud, your mustache will drop off.
- Tony: Have you got a woman in here?
- Hackenbush: If I haven't, I've wasted thirty minutes of valuable time.
- Tony: Well, ya better get her out. This is the last time I'm goin' to tell ya.
- Hackenbush: The last time? Can I depend on that?
- Tony: Yes, because this time I'm goin' to stay here all night.
- Flo: I want you to hold me. Oh, hold me closer! Closer! Closer!
- Hackenbush: If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of ya!
- Mrs. Upjohn: Dr. Hackenbush tells me I'm the only case in history. I have high blood pressure on my right side and low blood pressure on my left side.
- Steinberg: There is no such thing. She looks as healthy as any woman I ever met.
- Hackenbush: You don't look like as though you ever met a healthy woman.
- Steinberg: WHAT?!!
- Judy: Doctor, may I have one of your photographs?
- Hackenbush: Why I haven't one. I could let you have my footprints, but they're upstairs in my socks!
Taglines
- Three Great Laff Stars ! . . . more gags and gals . . . more songs and dances !
- as the barrier goes up on the Whopper of all Musical Fun Shows!
- America's Joy-Friends are back again in the grandest entertainment gallop of 1937!
More howls, more girls, more song hits than "A Night At The Opera"! Oh boy! - The Year's BIG Laugh, Music and Girl Show!
Cast
- Groucho Marx — Dr Hugo Z. Hackenbush
- Chico Marx — Tony
- Harpo Marx — Stuffy
- Allan Jones — Gil Stewart
- Maureen O'Sullivan — Judy Standish
- Margaret Dumont — Emily Upjohn
- Leonard Ceeley — Whitmore
- Douglass Dumbrille — J.D. Morgan
- Esther Muir — Flo
- Sig Ruman — Dr Leopold X. Steinberg
- Robert Middlemass — Sheriff
External links
This article is issued from
Wikiquote.
The text is licensed under Creative
Commons - Attribution - Sharealike.
Additional terms may apply for the media files.