The Guns of Abalone

The Guns of Abalone is the second story arc from the fourth season of The Bullwinkle Show. It was broadcast on NBC during the 1962–1963 television season. The arc's plot and name are a parody of the novel and film The Guns of Navarone.

"The Guns of Abalone"
The Bullwinkle Show episode
Episode no.Season 4
Episode 2 (4 segments)
Directed byGerard Baldwin, Pete Burness, Bill Hurtz, Gerry Ray, Bob Schleh, George Singer, Ernie Terrazas
Written byGeorge Atkins, Chris Hayward, Chris Jenkins, Lloyd Turner
Production code229–232
Original air date1962–1963

Plot

In World War II, an artillery station is set up on Abalone, one of the Aegean Islands. In 1961, eighteen years after it is shut down, Boris Badenov has taken over the island and reactivated the station's guns as a ploy to annoy the world until they turn over Bullwinkle J. Moose and Rocky the Flying Squirrel`(a scheme that does not impress Natasha Fatale).

Back in Frostbite Falls, Bullwinkle, on a grocery trip, is duped into a mission to silence the guns. With Rocky in tow, he boards a plane that crash-lands on Gibraltar when hit by a cannonball. Severely injured, he heads for the nearest hospital, but since all the Britons on Gibraltar are perfectly healthy, the hospital no longer functions, and when he tries to get his burns treated, he is instead imprisoned in the same cell from The Count of Monte Cristo (ostensibly for damaging the staff's snooker table). Rocky finds the escape hatch that leads directly to a waiting firing squad; immediately before execution, he quickly finds a loophole in the Gibraltar constitution that forces a pardon. Rocky and Bullwinkle (his burns somehow disappeared during the episode cliffhanger) are then sent on a ship to Bayonne, New Jersey—captained by Peter Peachfuzz.

Rocky tries to get Peachfuzz to turn back to Abalone, but he inadvertently sinks the boat in a storm; they eventually reach Abalone by lifeboat. Having fallen directly into Boris's trap, Boris, having no other weapons, surrounds Rocky and Bullwinkle with the guns; because Boris mis-aimed the guns, the resulting shots instead destroy each other, leaving Rocky and Bullwinkle unharmed.

Boris, Natasha, Peachfuzz, Rocky, Bullwinkle and the ship crew return by lifeboat to North America, where Boris (and Natasha, despite having almost nothing to do with the scheme this time) gets sentenced to 20 years in prison. Rocky and Bullwinkle return to Frostbite Falls, exhausted and unaware that their alarm clock is a time bomb (intended to destroy the guns but lost during the mission). The two pay it no heed, as Bullwinkle assures the narrator the clock on the bomb runs slow and won't go off before they wake up.

Episode segments

Episode 1
  1. Guns of Abalone
  2. Fractured Fairy Tales: The Count and the Bird
  3. Mr. Know-It-All: How to Interview a Scientist
  4. Dudley Do-Right: Top Secret
  5. Falling Stars or Only a Plumber Should Plummet

Episode 2
  1. I'm Out of Bullets or Pour Me Another Shot
  2. Aesop and Son: The Country Frog and the City Frog
  3. Mr. Know-It-All: How to be an Archaeologist
  4. Peabody's Improbable History: Building the Great Pyramid
  5. Seasick Bullwinkle or How Green Was My Moose
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