Rape Me

"Rape Me" was written by Cobain on an acoustic guitar in Los Angeles in May 1991, around the time the band's second album, Nevermind, was being mixed.[1] It was first performed live on June 18, 1991, at The Catalyst in Santa Cruz. The earliest live versions of the song featured a guitar solo instead of a bridge.[2]

The band had wanted to play the song during their appearance at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards, but the network insisted they play their breakthrough single "Smells Like Teen Spirit" instead.[3][4] Amy Finnerty, an MTV employee and friend of the band, recalled that Cobain was initially excited when he presented "Rape Me" to MTV at the first rehearsal, and he "acted like it was a gift."[3] However, Finnerty was later lectured by the network on the band's choice of song, which they believed was about them, despite Finnerty's insistence to the contrary. The ongoing argument between MTV and Cobain escalated, with MTV threatening to cut Nirvana from the show, to stop playing the band's music videos, and even to boycott other artists on the band's management company, Gold Mountain, such as Sonic Youth or the Beastie Boys.[5] Cobain only relented after being informed that MTV would fire Finnerty if the band played "Rape Me". To the surprise of the network's executives, Nirvana appeared at the final rehearsal on the day of the show, with Cobain holding and swinging Finnerty's hand as they walked down the aisle, as a show of support for Finnerty.[3] At the start of the performance that night, Cobain played a few seconds of "Rape Me", which he later said he did "just to give [MTV] a little heart palpitation". MTV were allegedly about to switch to a commercial when Cobain stopped playing "Rape Me", and started playing their latest single, "Lithium" instead.[6]

"Rape Me" was first recorded in the studio in October 1992, during a two-day demo session with Jack Endino at Word of Mouth in Seattle, Washington. Two takes of the song were recorded, one of which was instrumental, the other featuring lead vocals by Cobain and backing vocals by drummer Dave Grohl. Cobain was holding his then-infant daughter Frances Bean Cobain on his lap when he recorded his vocals, and she can be heard crying on the demo.[7]

The final studio version of "Rape Me" was recorded in February 1993 by Steve Albini at Pachyderm Studio in Cannon Falls, Minnesota, for the band's third and final studio album, In Utero. The instruments for the song were recorded on February 15.[8] The following day, Cobain completed his vocals for the album during a reported six-hour session.[9] Cobain used his Fender Jaguar guitar plugged into a Twin Reverb amp.[10]

The song was relabeled "Waif Me" on the censored Wal-Mart and Kmart version of In Utero, released in March 1994. The chain stores had originally refused to carry the album because of the song's title, as well as the fetus collage on the back cover, which was also edited. The song's proper title was listed in the booklet, and the recording remained the same. Cobain defended the band's decision to release a censored version of the album by explaining, "One of the main reasons I signed to a major label was so people would be able to buy our records at Kmart. In some towns, that's the only place kids can buy records."[11]

On September 25, 1993, the band performed the song, along with "Heart-Shaped Box," on Saturday Night Live at NBC Studios in New York City. It was the band's first show with second guitarist, Pat Smear.

The final live performance of "Rape Me" was at Nirvana's last concert, at Terminal Einz in Munich, Germany on March 1, 1994.

"Rape Me" is an anti-rape song, written from the point of view of the victim. "It's like she's saying, 'Rape me, go ahead, rape me, beat me,'" Cobain told Darcey Steinke of Spin in 1993, "'You'll never kill me. I'll survive this and I'm gonna fucking rape you one of these days and you won't even know it.'"[12] Gllian G. Garr described the song's lyrics as "part submissive invitation, part defiant taunt, a mix that confused and disturbed many listeners", and led to Cobain frequently having to explain the song's meaning.[13]

When asked by MUCH's Erica Ehm in an August 1993 interview how the band was helping to raise awareness about sexism, Cobain replied, "By writing songs as blunt as 'Rape Me.'"[14] He stated that it was a song meant to be so blunt that no one could misinterpret its meaning.[15]

American musician Tori Amos commented on the song in a 1994 interview with the NME, saying that she "thought it was very clear what it was about....It's a defiant song. But the scariest thing to a rape victim are the words 'rape me'. When I first heard it I broke out in a cold sweat, but when you get over that you realize he's turning it back on people."[16]

The song has also been interpreted as an attack on the media for its perceived mistreatment of Cobain and his wife, Courtney Love. While most of the song was written before Nevermind was released, the bridge, which was written later, contains lyrics that address his occasionally contentious relationship with the media.[17] As Cobain explained to Nirvana biographer Michael Azerrad, "It was actually about rape ... but now I could definitely use it as an example of my life for the past six months or year, easily."[18] In line with this interpretation, Azerrad suggested that the chorus lyric "I'm not the only one" was Cobain's way of saying that Love and their infant daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, were being hurt along with him by the media and public attention.[18] According to Azerrad, the bridge lyric "My favorite inside source" was a reference to the manager of an unnamed Seattle band Cobain and Love suspected of being anonymously interviewed for a controversial Vanity Fair profile of the couple published in September 1992.[18]

"Rape Me" was released as a double A-side single with "All Apologies" on December 6, 1993 on CD, cassette, and 7" and 12" vinyl record formats.[19] The single was not released commercially in the United States.[19]

In her Spin cover story on the band, Steinke described the song as carrying a "quiet biblical angst."[12] David Fricke, in his review of In Utero for Rolling Stone, wrote that "'Rape Me' opens as a disquieting whisper, Cobain intoning the title verse in a battered croon, which sets you up beautifully to get blind-sided by the explosive hook line."[20] Cobain biographer Charles R. Cross described the song as having "the same catchy soft/loud dynamic as "Teen Spirit," which "created a perfect Cobain aesthetic – beautiful, haunting and disturbing."[3]

In 1999, "Rape Me" was voted number 90 in Kerrang!'s 100 Greatest Rock Tracks Ever!.[21] In 2015, Rolling Stone placed it at number 31 on their ranking of 102 Nirvana songs, with Julianne Escobedo Shepherd calling it "the closest to an actual Bikini Kill song that [Cobain] would ever write, using the lyrics as a woman-empowering taunt to show would-be rapists that their victims' spirits would not be tamped."[22] In 2019, The Guardian ranked it at number 17 on their list of 'Nirvana's 20 greatest songs'.[23]

In November 1993, "Rape Me" was voted the third "Most Wanted to be Heard" song by listeners of the Hawaii Free Radio.[24]

"Rape Me" has occasionally received criticism for its intentionally blunt handling of sensitive subject matter. John Mulvey of the NME wrote that "while you can't doubt Cobain's personal political correctness, there's a distinct moral dubiousness about welding the words "RAPE ME!" to 'In Utero''s best sing-along chorus."[25] Will Bryant of Pitchfork wrote that the song, despite its victim-empowering intent, "comes off as a shallow and transparent attempt to court controversy."[26]

In 2019, Jenna Bush Hager revealed that her father, George W. Bush, prior to becoming U.S. President, broke one of her Nirvana CDs due to the lyrics of "a really bad song" implied to be "Rape Me."[27]

"Rape Me" was re-released on both of Nirvana's greatest hits albums, Nirvana (2002) and Icon (2010).

Released as a double A-side with "All Apologies".

• Kurt Cobain – vocals, guitar
• Krist Novoselic – bass guitar
• Dave Grohl – drums

In The Simpsons episode "That 90's Show", guest star "Weird Al" Yankovic sings a parody version called "Brain Freeze". Homer also creates a band called "Sadgasm", a parody of Nirvana, and is seen singing "Shave Me".[43]

In the South Park episode "Hummels & Heroin", Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and Butters perform a Barbershop Quartet cover of "Rape Me" for a retirement home.

• Azerrad, Michael. Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana. Doubleday, 1994. ISBN 0-385-47199-8.
• Cross, Charles. Heavier Than Heaven. Hyperion, 2001. ISBN 0-7868-6505-9.
• Gaar, Gillian G. In Utero. Continuum, 2006. ISBN 0-8264-1776-0.

Wikiquote has quotations related to: In Utero (album)

• Lyrics of this song at MetroLyrics