A Crow Looked at Me

From left to right: American poet Gary Snyder, American musician Mark Kozelek, American singer-songwriter Will Oldham, Norwegian writer Karl Ove Knausgård, Canadian singer-songwriter Julie Doiron and American poet Joanne Kyger, each of whom inspired Phil Elverum.

Elverum and Castrée performing together in 2006.

In 2015, four months after the birth of their first child, Phil Elverum's wife, Canadian cartoonist and musician Geneviève Castrée, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She died at their home in Anacortes, Washington, on July 9, 2016.[1][2] Taking inspiration from the Gary Snyder poem "Go Now",[3] Elverum realised that he did not have to find meaning in Castrée's death but could write songs that described the experience.[4] He found inspiration in the work of Canadian singer-songwriter Julie Doiron, American poet Joanne Kyger, American rock band Sun Kil Moon, Norwegian author Karl Ove Knausgård and American singer-songwriter Will Oldham whose 1996 album Arise Therefore influenced the album's sound, in particular its sparse production.[5][6][7][8] Elverum felt compelled to make the album as he found that the art he treasured was ineffective in helping him cope. He confided to Donovan Burtan of Cult MTL that "all the things that used to bring me a sense of meaning and depth and comfort, all these books in the house of poetry, philosophy and everything — all of it was just empty and useless".[9]

After Castree's death, Elverum considered retiring from music and becoming a full-time father, but a trip to Haida Gwaii inspired him to write notes, along with those he had written during Castrée's illness and treatment, which would become the album.[11][12] Elverum recorded the album between August 31 and December 6, 2016, at his house in Anacortes, Washington.[2][13] He wrote the songs over a six-week period[8] beginning in September 2016.[11] He wrote the lyrics longhand on Castrée's notepaper,[14] and recorded the songs in the room where she died. He had previously abandoned the room, opened its window and allowed nature to take it over.[15] Elverum credits recording in her room as the reason behind the album's "immediacy" and "bluntness".[16] He originally intended to record the album with a live band in a studio. He found that the songs were too personal to have others contribute to them, however, so he opted to play them himself.[8] Elverum used an acoustic guitar, one microphone and a laptop computer[11] along with some of Castrée's own instruments.[17] Since he had become the primary carer for his daughter, Elverum recorded the songs at night while his daughter was asleep[lower-alpha 1] or during times when she was visiting friends.[11] He described his process as writing down the songs first on paper. He then practiced them rigorously until the point when he knew where each chord was in sequence—a first for him.[19] In an interview Elverum talked about how he would choose to record over self care saying he could either shower or write down ideas "bursting" in his head.[20]

Elverum said that the songs "poured out quickly in the fall, watching the days grey over and watching the neighbors across the alley tear down and rebuild their house", with him filling the pages of his notebook with a "formless, no-rhythm, no-meter, no-melody blob of words".[21][22] He made and released the record to make the intensity of his love for his wife "known" and to draw a distinction between "art and music" and the "experience of life".[9][22] While he wrote the album, Elverum intended that the songs have a "hyper-intimate" and unrestrained quality. He wanted them to be philosophical[23] but devoid of symbolism and distinct from the more existential themes of his earlier work.[24][25] Elverum said he had no goal in mind while creating the album just that he was in an "unpremeditated way going with the flow".[9] He has also said that he does not view the album as a tribute to, or being about, Castrée. He believed if he were to make a tribute it would be ineffective in capturing who Castrée was. He viewed the album instead as detached from Castrée and a documentation of his grief, "saying all the heavy stuff with no regard for other people's sensitivity or unwillingness".[9][18][21] Elverum found the album's overall creation positive, saying it was "therapeutic" and felt as if he was "hanging out" with Castrée, feeling by the end as if he had healed.[19][26]

The album cover features a photograph of the poem "Night Palace" by Castrée's close friend Joanne Kyger.[lower-alpha 2] Castrée had pinned above her desk.[23] When he was cleaning out her room after she died Elverum realised the poem encapsulated the album's theme. Castrée's copy of Hergé's Tintin in Tibet can be seen in the background.[8]

The lyrics are delivered in a speaking and singing manner.[28] They deal with Castrée's illness and death,[29] Elverum's ensuing grief,[30] and the idea there is nothing to learn or gain from death.[31] Alongside the central theme of Castrée's illness and death. Themes of impermanence,[11] emptiness,[29] and disorientation[32] are present in the album as well. Many of the lyrics feature references to nature[29] with one reviewer noting that "tragedy hasn't stopped [Elverum] from noticing the world; if anything, it seems to have pried his eyes open for good."[33] The lyrics also feature references to his past work. He intended the album to "correct" his previous works in which he was "exploring the idea of death without really having a sense of the human experience of it".[25] In a press release for the album, Elverum described the songs as being about:

The brutal details of that experience,[Castrée's illness and death], from the hospitalizations to the grieving, the specific domestic banalities that become existential in the context of such huge and abrupt loss. These songs are not fun. They are pretty and they are deep, and they find a love that prevails beneath the overwhelming and real sorrow. It is unlike anything else in the Mount Eerie catalog in its unvarnished expressions of personal grief, metaphor-free.[34]

The words take the form of a diary. Elverum intended that each song reflect a time in his grieving and include references to specific events and dates. He said that "each song is anchored to a very specific moment".[10] Thomas Britt wrote that this showcases "the way that death hangs over each day that follows".[29] Each song refers to Castrée—sometimes directly by name. Elverum frequently uses pronouns such as "our" when referring to Castrée despite her absence. One critic noted that this is because Elverum "struggles to adjust to the undesired change".[14][35] The final song "Crow" is, however, addressed prominently to their daughter.[30]

Elverum's vocals were described by Tomas Guarna as "weak and shy" showing him "completely consumed by a cruel, unforgiving world".[36] The album's lyrics have been described as combining "emotional intimacy and tonal frankness to a degree rarely heard in contemporary music" and as "unspooling pieces of prose"[37][38] The songwriting has been described as "brilliant examples of breaking the fourth wall" though the term itself does not align with the style of the material. It is "too precise" because the lines are blurred "between singing, speaking and raw emotional data dump."[30][39]

Musically, the album is reminiscent of his 2008 albums Dawn and Lost Wisdom[2][40] with the songs featuring sparse instrumentation—acoustic guitar, chord changes,[41] simple 4/4 percussion, piano,[42] no choruses and "barely any melodies".[43][44] This reflects Elverum's wish to move away from his earlier, more "artistically challenging" work, which was characterised by "harsh tones" and "complicated chords".[21] Jayson Greene of Pitchfork wrote that the "difference between this album and everything else he’s done is the difference between charting a voyage around the earth and undertaking it."[11] The sparse nature of the album led Elverum to refer to it as "barely music".[33] The songs include unresolved notes and chords such as the ending of "Seaweed" which hangs on a half-step descent, major chord.[45][41] The album is less musically dark to the rest of the Mount Eerie discography.[31] Elverum wanted to release the album quickly, so he used minimal production.[46] This was his first album to be produced entirely on a computer.[47]

The opening track "Real Death" features spoken-word vocals which are "whispered from a void of hurt" with a piano, electric guitar and drum accompaniment.[48][49][50] The song describes the "impossibility of representing loss" and "the hopelessness" after death.[36][51] It features the opening lyrics, "death is real"; the theme and the phrase continue throughout the record.[30][52][53] The song also introduces the theme that the album is not an artistic statement. With the lyrics, "it's [death] not for singing about/It's not for making into art", Elverum clarifies that although the album is art, the line is about "the difference between the idea of a thing and the actual lived experience of it".[50] Phillip Green of Cisternyard Media speculated that in saying this, Elverum did not want to take "advantage of Castrée's passing".[35] The song also refers to him opening packages addressed to Castrée delivered after her death; what one critic called a moment that "limns the space between the living and the dead"[30] It opens with a major chord.[54]

Pictured: Hadi Gwaii which inspired and is referenced on the songs "Seaweed" and "Ravens".

Elverum discusses scattering Castrée's ashes, the house they intended to build in Haida Gwaii and the fear of forgetting of the small details of Castrée's life such as her favourite flowers on "Seaweed".[48][55][56] Elverum revealed in an interview that the first version of the song was created on a hike with his daughter and he recorded the bare bones of the song into his phone.[19] The song is composed of "warm" guitar plucking, "discordant" piano and "hollowed" bass.[49] It also introduces the themes of Castrée's "Spiritual omnipresence", Castree "surviving" through their daughter and Elverum remembering her beyond the physical, choosing to immortalize her as the sunset, instead of as ashes.[lower-alpha 3][35][53][57] Writer Molly Beauchemin wrote that the song "stands apart for its crushing invocation of nature as a place of solace and refuge – a place to see purpose in the midst of loss".[58]

"Ravens" describes Elverum giving away Castrée's clothes. It details from her final days when he was splitting wood and witnessed two "big black birds", understanding them to be an omen but unclear of what.[30][48][59] Elverum expressed in an interview regret over having to repeatedly describe and sing Castrée's final days.[60] The song was inspired by Elverum's trip to Hadai Gwaii, his illness during the trip and the presence of ravens throughout the area.[61] "Ravens" and "Soria Moria" stand apart from the other songs in that they feature multiple tempo changes.[49] "Ravens" has been described as the centrepiece of the album with its "hushed acoustic guitar, ominous piano notes, and stark reminders of Geneviève's absence".[62] Sam Sodomsky of Pitchfork called the song a "seven-minute exploration of the horrors of this world".[63]

The track "Forest Fire" describes Elverum's feelings about death, decay, and absurdity in relation to the world around him.[64] He apologizes to Castrée for attempting to move on, for going through her things and wondering how he will live without her.[31][36][65] The fire represents a sort of "cleansing", although of what is unclear.[17] Nitsuh Abebe of The New York Times described the song as a "perfectly accurate description of our actual world".[64] "Swims" details Elverum's experiences with grief counselling and the sudden death of his counsellor.[40] It was described by one reviewer as "one of the most heart wrenching songs created".[66] It features minimal guitars, simple piano chords, bass guitar, "lo-fi soundscapes" and what has been described as "Elverum's most naked vocal performance".[49][40]

"My Chasm" demonstrates Elverum's difficulty in talking about his loss in public and has been described as "a tribute to [the couple's] everlasting love".[22][30] It features electronic instrumentation with piano accompaniment.[49] Elverum's vocal performance was described as having "identifiable pain" which is almost palpable.[49] "When I Take the Garbage Out At Night" invokes mundane imagery with one writer drawing comparisons to Sun Kil Moon's Benji.[28]

"Emptiness pt. 2" deals with the idea of "conceptual emptiness" with Elverum comparing his grief to "climbing up a mountain in complete loneliness".[36][2] The phrase "conceptual emptiness" is a reference to his song entitled "Emptiness" from his 2015 album Sauna.[39] At one point in the song Elverum sings the lyrics "Your absence is a scream". The word scream is deliberately drawn out. Jayson Greene compared listening to this moment to "pressing your hand against ice and leaving it there."[11] Thomas Britt of PopMatters wrote that the song's "self-reflexive commentary reframes even the most powerful pictures of wind-hewn, frosted, blackened solitude in the past Microphones/Mount Eerie songbook as products of comparative comfort; luxuries of imagination".[29]

Elverum discusses the fading familiar memories of Castrée in the song "Toothbrush/Trash" which has been described as a "horrible realization that time will not relent".[30] Conversely the song has been described as the "most uplifting track" on the album which conveys "the paradoxically happy and miserable state of acceptance".[67] Its sudden sound cue of a door closing, recorded by Elverum, was described by Brian Roesler as "a haunted chamber of memory and connection that now seems more real than ever".[49]

Soria Moria by Theodor Kittelsen (1881) inspired the track by the same name.

The track "Soria Moria" takes its name from the eponymous painting by Theodor Kittelsen, incorporates elements of black metal[53] and details Elverum's relationship with Castrée before her death. It also references his time in a Norwegian cabin where he wrote his 2008 album Dawn and interpolates the lyric, "I went back to feel alone there" from his 2001 song "The Moon".[52][68] The song's lyrics "[associate] a foggy, impassable distance with the taut sense of limbo associated with plain-facedly dealing with hospital chores".[57] "Soria Moria" is the only song on the album to have anything that resembles a refrain.[40] Musically the song is reminsent of his 2009 album Wind's Poem.[40] Thomas Britt of PopMatters described the song and its use of natural imagery as "one of the most vivid illustrations of Walter Benjamin's concept of 'aura' that I've ever encountered".[29][lower-alpha 4] A live version of the song was used as the lead single for his 2018 live album (after).[70]

The final song "Crow" is addressed to his daughter. Elverum details a hiking trip in the Pacific Northwest where a crow was following them.[30][19] "Crow" was the final song to be written and was not going to be included on the album. Elverum decided to include the song to reflect the events of the world at the time. It is the only song that refers to events beyond Elverum's life. He describes the world as "[s]moldering and fascist", comments inspired by the 2016 United States presidential election.[19] The titular crow is used in the song as a symbol of death's encompassing grasp.[66] The song has been described as an epilogue which "offers a new and hopeful perspective" and "one of the more poetic tracks on the album".[30][35]

Elverum had considered not releasing the album at all, or changing his band's name entirely but did neither.[10] He had planned originally for a small-scale release of the record on his website, but as the album took shape he felt that it was good and wanted it to reach a wider audience.[71] He found releasing the album and promoting it to be "gross and weird from a lot of perspectives".[10] On January 6, 2017, he announced that he would go on tour and release a new album.[72] The next day, he played his first concert since September 2014 at a record store in Anacortes, Washington, called The Business.[73] The concert lasted 45 minutes and he played the album in its entierty.[74] He had to ask fans to stay away because the response was "overwhelming" and the store held only 50 people.[75] Elverum performed the show with his eyes closed in the corner of the room, leaving immediately afterwards.[73][76] The show was noticeably sparse, featuring no mic or amplification with Elverum using only his acoustic guitar.[73] Music critic Eric Grandy described the show as "heavy and awkward and weird" but also that it "felt supportive and cathartic and necessary" noting the crowd's emotional reaction.[73]

The first song to be released was "Crow" on a charity album entitled "Is There Another Language?" on January 20, 2017.[77] The first single from A Crow Looked at Me, "Real Death", was released on P.W. Elverum & Sun, Ltd.'s SoundCloud page on January 25, 2017,[5] to widespread acclaim, netting the "Best New Track" distinction from Pitchfork[78] and appearing on The Fader's list of "13 Songs You Need In Your Life This Week"[79] and Stereogum's list of the 5 best song of the week.[80] Complex and Pitchfork both included it on their lists of the best songs of the month (January 2017).[81][82] The A.V. Club included it on their list entitled "The A.V. Club’s songs of the summer 2017 for indoor kids".[83] The second single, "Ravens", was released on February 15, 2017, along with a music video uploaded to Mount Eerie's official YouTube account.[84] The video consists of old camcorder recordings of natural landscapes[85] and Elverum and Castrée.[84] It once again earned the "Best New Track" distinction from Pitchfork[63] and appeared on their list of the best songs of the month (February 2017).[86] It was ranked number 1 on Stereogum's list of the 5 best song of the week.[87] Elverum also did several interviews[lower-alpha 5] which he found to be "mentally draining". He did admit that he treated them as pseudo-therapy sessions, noting they were different from a typical PR campaign.[60]

Tour

Following the release of the album, Elverum embarked on a short North American tour in April 2017.[84] This was followed by another North American tour in September 2017, playing solo shows accompanied only by his acoustic guitar in intimate venues that included "concert halls, churches, and theaters".[88] The tour was extended to include Europe in November 2017.[89] While performing at Jacobikerk as part of Le Guess Who? festival in Utrecht, a sound engineer recorded Elverum's set without his knowledge. Elverum liked the recording so much that it was subsequently released as the live album (after) in 2018.[90]

The April, September-November tour received critical acclaim. Aaron Sharpsteen of SSG Music praised the show played at Mississippi Studios, calling it a "sea of collective melancholy".[91] Jochan Embley of The Independent awarded the show performed at St John on Bethnal Green church five stars and wrote that Elverum "plays and sings with such softness and space that you can hear the hum of his monitors as he does so".[92] Adam O'Sullivan of the Evening Standard described the show as "something truly remarkable, truly honest and something that those in attendance are unlikely ever to see again".[93] Woody Delaney of Loud and Quiet praised the show performed at Left Bank, Leeds calling it an "experience so human, it serves to remind the audience to cherish the fragility of life, and more immediately the person sat next to them".[94]

Aaron Badgley of Spill Magazine praised the show at the Great Hall, Toronto, Canada, calling it "one of the most memorable performances" he has seen and concluding that "the opportunity to see him do this live was one of those rare instances in life when you witnessed something truly important on stage".[95] Sarah Greene of Now Toronto echoed similar sentiments describing the show as "painfullly intimate", saying that, "In his solo performance, Phil Elverum showed that both songwriting and grieving are an ongoing process".[96] Braeden Halverson of Spotlight Ottawa wrote in his review of the show performed at St Albans Church that "seeing Phil live was one of the most unique, serene and emotionally impactful concert experiences I have had, and probably will ever have" but noted that it was "difficult" to say he enjoyed it.[97] Anna Alger of Exclaim! rated the show performed Christ Church Cathedral, Vancouver 8/10 saying that "The intimacy of Elverum's offering at Christ Church Cathedral was welcomed, as difficult as it was to confront A Crow Looked at Me's stark lyricism."[98] Zach Buckner writing for Tiny Mix Tapes, noted in his review of the show performed at the Murmmr Theatre that the audience "listened attentively, awaiting the next dictum of living with death. No one had their phones out. No one dared murmur during a song."[99] David Farrow described the show as "A whisper to the audience. A secret that I feel compelled to share." writing that

As I grasp for conclusions, I want to wander to a comment on care or community, but that would miss the point. There cannot be a conclusion derived from pure absence. There can only be the experience. Thank you [Elverum] for the gift of this experience.[100]

Pitchfork writer Quinn Moreland named the show as her favourite of 2017. Describing the concert as "a wake—a spiritual sensation that was amplified by the venue, a temple."[101]

Elverum found that because of the personal nature of the songs touring was difficult, saying it felt like he was "going out there and re-enacting a trauma and charging people money for it" and criticising the sense of voyeurism the audience part took in.[21] He did admit though that he would "probably be in the audience too, if it were somebody else doing it. It's hard to look away from a car accident."[32]

List of concert dates, cities, states, venues, support bands and references

Date (2017)[102][103][84]	City[102][103][84]	State[102][103][84]	Country[102][103][84]	Venue or event[102][103][84]	Support	Reference
April tour
April 4	Eugene	Oregon	America	WOW Hall	—	[84]
April 6	Big Sur	Califonia		Henry Miller Library	—
April 9	Santa Ana			Observatory (When We Were Young Fest)	—
April 10	San Diego			Irenic	—
April 11	Los Angeles			The Masonic Lodge at Hollywood Forever	—
April 14	Oakland			Starline Social Club	—
April 17	Portland	Oregon		Mississippi Studios	Lori Goldston[91]
April 18	Olympia	Washington		Obsidian	—
April 27	Portland	Oregon		Amp Fest	—	[104]
May 12-14	Arcosanti	Arizona		FORM	—	[84]
September tour: Leg 1 — North America[102]
August 18	Vancouver	British Columbia	Canada	Christ Church Cathedral	Nicholas Krgovich[98]	[102]
September 5	Chicago	Illinois	America	Thalia Hall	—
September 7	Raleigh	North Carolina		Fletcher Theatre (Hopscotch Music Festival)	—
September 8	Washington	—		St. Stephen and the Incarnation Episcopal Church	—
September 11	Brooklyn	New York		Union Temple of Brooklyn (Murmrr Theatre)	—
September 13	Boston	Massachusetts		Arts at the Armory	—
September 15	Providence	Rhode Island		Columbus Theatre	—
September 16	Burlington	Vermont		Winooski United Methodist Church	—
September 17	Montreal	Quebec	Canada	Ukrainian Federation Hall (Pop Montreal)	—
September 20	Toronto	Ontario		Great Hall	—
September 21	Sandy Hill	Ottawa		St Alban's Church	Amanda Lowe	[97]
Leg 2 — Europe[103]
November 3	Krakow	—	Poland	Małopolski Ogród Sztuki	—	[103]
November 5	Berlin	—	Germany	Silent Green	—
November 6
November 7	Copenhagen	—	Denmark	Jazzhouse	—
November 8
November 10	Utrecht	—	The Netherlands	Le Guess Who! Festival	—
November 11	Brussels	—	Belgium	Les Brigittines	—
November 13	London	—	England	St. John at Bethnal Green	—
November 14
November 15	Leeds	—		Left Bank	—
November 16	Glasgow	—	Scotland	Saint Luke's	—
November 18	St. Denijs	—	Belgium	St. Dyonisus	—
November 20	Oslo	—	Norway	Kulturkirken Jakob	—
November 23	Kristiansand	—		Vaktbua	—
November 25	Stavanger	—		Kunsthallen	—
November 26	Bergen	—		Landmark	—

From left to right: Anacortes, Washington, The Business, Utrecht, Jacobikerk, Le Guess Who?, Church of St. John on Bethnal Green, Left Bank, Leeds, St Albans Church and Christ Church Cathedral.

Reception

Professional ratings

Aggregate scores
Source	Rating
AnyDecentMusic?	8.8/10[105]
Metacritic	93/100[106]
Review scores
Source	Rating
AllMusic	[53]
The A.V. Club	A−[107]
Consequence of Sound	A−[17]
Exclaim!	9/10[108]
Mojo	[109]
Paste	9.2/10[110]
Pitchfork	9.0/10[33]
PopMatters	10/10[29]
Uncut	9/10[111]
Vice (Expert Witness)	A[112]

Simon Kirk of the music review site Getintothis called the album and its companion piece Now Only "seminal".[167] Adam Nizum of Paste magazine described the album as "Historic".[168] Thomas Britt of Popmatters called A Crow Looked at Me "one of the most remarkable folk albums ever produced".[169] David Connolly of Odyssey wrote that "no other [album] really captures loss of a loved one in quite the same manner".[170] Sean Nelson of The Stranger called A Crow Looked at Me "an astonishing artistic and human achievement" which "makes beggars" of similar art that deals with bereavement and grief such as Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking, Lou Reed's Magic and Loss and Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven by its frank and literal depiction of death and grief.[171] Music Critic Brendan Frank called the album a "must-listen" "for anyone who was ever remotely interested in Mount Eerie or The Microphones".[172] Jacob Nierenberg writing for Treblezine listed the album as one the of "10 Essential Home-Recorded Albums".[173] The album was included on Discogs' list of the "most miserably sad" albums of all time.[174] Donovan Farley of Willamette Week chose the opening track "Real Death" as one of Elverum's "essential" songs; Morgan Enos chose "Swims" in his ranking of Elverum's essential songs for Billboard.[175][176]

From left to right: Danny Brown, Michelle Zauner, Giles Demolder, Kero Kero Bontio and Ben Walsh

American rapper Danny Brown called the album as his favourite of 2017. Elverum thanked Brown and said that his recommendation was "more valuable (in real money sales) than The New York Times[']."[177] Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast fame chose A Crow Looked at Me as one of the five albums that changed her life telling Tidal: "I've never heard something so personal, so vulnerable and just very sad. I related to it so much, and I felt like he expressed things and described moments between [his wife and him] that resonated with me and my own experience losing my mother".[178]

Writer Max Porter praised the album saying, that "[It] is so immaculately beautiful. It is so caring and sweet and soft and sad. There could not have been a better pairing [with Grief Is The Thing With Feathers.]"[179] Gus Lobban of Kero Kero Bonito compared the central theme of A Crow Looked at Me to the central theme of Time 'n' Place, the band's second studio album: "It's an example of a record by an artist who is exploring darker themes in front of a wider audience, defining this zeitgeist of people talking about depression. Time 'n' Place is informed by similar things to a record like that."[180] Gilles Demolder of black metal band Oathbreaker praised the album, looking to it for inspiration and crediting the album with helping him see that "acoustic guitar and words can be so much heavier than anything I've heard before".[181] Ben Walsh of Tigers Jaw described the album as "a crushingly real account of coming to terms with the death of a loved one" and its lyrics "soul-crushingly honest".[182]

All tracks are written and produced by Phil Elverum.[117][183]

Credits adapted from the album's liner notes and Cult MLT.[9][184]

• Phil Elverum – songwriting – vocals – production – acoustic guitar – electric guitar – drum machine – bass – piano – accordion
• John Golden – Mastering, Lacquer Cut
• Other [Poem By] – Joanne Kyger

• A Crow Looked at Me at Discogs (list of releases)