Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Front cover of first edition
Author	Yahtzee Croshaw
Cover artist	E. M. Gist
Country	United States
Language	English
Genre	Young adult, Science fiction, Adventure Humor
Publisher	Dark Horse Books
Publication date	February 14, 2017
Media type	Print (paperback), Audiobook
Pages	232 (first edition)
ISBN	978-1-5067-0165-3 (first edition, paperback)
OCLC	2016045698
LC Class	PR9619.4.C735W55 2017
Preceded by	Jam

Will Save the Galaxy for Food is a science-fiction adventure novel written by British author and video-game critic Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. It is his third published novel after Mogworld in 2010 and Jam in 2012. It was announced in August 2016.^[1]

The novel is set in a universe in which the age of space exploration is cut short by the invention of teleportation technology with limitless range and focuses on a former space hero who finds himself embroiled in a dangerous conspiracy. A short excerpt from the novel was included in Croshaw's video game Hatfall, playing in the background of one of the minigames in a spoof of the Star Wars Opening Crawl.

Synopsis

The novel takes place many years in the future after the events known as The Golden Age of Space Exploration, where star pilots were needed to traverse through space. However, a new technology known as Quantum Tunneling has rendered star pilots obsolete as it allows users to instantaneously travel to any location in the universe. The novel is mainly set in the solar system, with the outer regions of uncharted space being known colloquially as The Black. Due to a non-swearing law, many characters use mathematical terms in place of swear words, such as ply (multiply), tract (subtraction), bracket, doint (decimal point) and div (division).

Plot summary

While working as a tour guide with his ship, The Neverdie, the protagonist accidentally reveals over the intercom his collaboration with space pirates and is scheduled for a court appearance. Returning to Ritsuko City on Luna (the Moon) to solicit more work, the protagonist is approached by a woman named Penelope Warden, who offers to pay him to impersonate a pilot for a private event after falling for a scam. The protagonist accepts after receiving the ensuing payment and is instructed to arrive that evening.

The protagonist arrives for the event, meeting businessman and crime boss Mr. Henderson and his muscular bodyguard Carlos. The private event is a birthday for Mr. Henderson's 16-year-old son, named Daniel. Ms. Warden introduces the protagonist as Jacques McKeown, a famous but reclusive author despised by nearly every star pilot in the galaxy for profiting off of their adventures. While Mr. Henderson believes the protagonist to be the real Jacques McKeown and hired him to be Daniel's personal space escort, he not-so-subtly threatens his life, causing the protagonist to plan to escape to an uncharted region of space known as The Black. While researching Henderson's history, the protagonist realizes his identity chip has been changed to read the name "Jacques McKeown". Accidentally attracting the attention of several bereaved star pilots, the protagonist is chased through a quantum tunnel booth and is trapped in a storage unit deep below the surface. He is forced to call Warden to rescue him, and she lets him out the next day, but not before he retrieves his blaster pistol. The protagonist begins his work as Daniel's personal pilot aboard the expensive (and pirate fodder) spacecraft, the Platinum God of Whaleshark, while Mr. Henderson promotes Warden to the head of the department and forces her to tag along.

While on board the ship, Warden discloses to the protagonist that Mr. Henderson promoted her in order to frame her for the various crimes his organization has committed. Daniel also requests to stop on Terra (Earth) to pick up a friend. Despite strict laws forbidding outsiders, the protagonist lands on the planet whereupon the ship is attacked by an anti-terrorism unit. Warden saves the protagonist in exchange for his blaster pistol. Daniel reboards the ship with a young 16-year-old girl named Jemima, intending to bring her along and names the ship after her. While cruising, Warden secretly announces her intent to kidnap Daniel and Jemima and travel to The Black in order to escape from Henderson. Daniel reveals their plan to his father, believing it all to be a setup in order to make the trip more interesting, and Henderson announces that he will hunt them down. While on the run, the publicist of Jacques McKeown contacts the protagonist, revealing that McKeown has never collected his royalties for any of his books. Impulsively the protagonist has the funds wired to his account. The ship is attacked while attempting to flee through a Trebuchet Gate, but the crew manages to escape into The Black.

While traversing The Black, the protagonist receives a call from Henderson, saying that Jemima is the daughter of the president of the United Republic, and that their military forces will be after them as well. The ship and crew are then attacked by a Zoob, an alien species that were once kept as pets before they turned cannibalistic. They are rescued by members of Salvation Station, a civilization for star pilots headed by legendary star pilot Robert Blaze, who instantly recognizes the protagonist isn't Jacques McKeown. Over dinner, a drunken protagonist reveals his theft of McKeown's royalties and subsequently blacks out.

The protagonist wakes up to find his identity chip has been cut out of his hand, and that he has been stranded with Jemima and Warden on Cantrabargid, the home planet of the Zuviron race that he had saved before in a previous war. The protagonist meets a native girl named Alice, who lives with a sloth-like species called Ruggels. She claims her village is under siege by the Malmind, an evil hive-mind race that the protagonist faced before in the Golden Age of Space Exploration. The protagonist agrees to help defeat the Malmind in exchange for a spacecraft that Alice had used to land on the planet. Warden confines to the protagonist suspicions that there is something wrong about the situation, having noticed several inconsistencies, but he ignores her. The protagonist and Warden journey to disable the Malmind, but discover it to be a decoy. Returning to the village and finding it ransacked and the inhabitants gone, including Jemima, they discover a secret entrance leading to the Malmind central control center. Encountering the creator of the Malmind, the protagonist prepares to shoot him until it is revealed the whole situation was merely a simulated event created by Blaze designed as a tourist attraction. Angered, the protagonist takes the ship and flies back to Salvation Station to save it from the UR assault.

Back at the station, Blaze admits to the events, explaining he merely wanted to honor star piloting and returns the protagonist's identity chip. The others reunite with Daniel and prepare to hand over Jemima to the UR, however she and Daniel sneak off and take The Jemima into space. Under threat of UR siege, Warden and the protagonist chase after them, only to discover that the ship has been boarded by a Zoob ship. The two sneak on board in order to rescue Jemima and Daniel from the ravenous Zoobs. The protagonist manages to save the kids by attracting the Zoobs with his blood, but is attacked by a group of them. At that moment, Carlos bursts on board in order to kill the protagonist, as several star pilots surround the ship to kill McKeown. The protagonist tricks the Zoobs into attacking Carlos and leaves his chip behind as the four escape. The star pilots fire and destroy The Jemima, along with Carlos and the Zoobs, leading to the belief that Jacques McKeown died on the ship.

Returning to Salvation Station, they find it under attack from the UR. The president arrives and demands her daughter, however Jemima reveals that she is fine, and claims that Warden and the protagonist had saved her life. This forces the UR army to retreat, and Jemima returns home with her mother. Henderson also arrives to reclaim Daniel and to kill Warden and the protagonist, however he changes his mind once Daniel (for the first time ever) shows gratitude towards his father for the trip. Henderson attempts to threaten the duo, but Warden shoots off his leg and threatens back him in response. The protagonist speaks to Blaze, who tells him that he knows the real identity of Jacques McKeown but will not disclose who it is. The protagonist demands Blaze return the funds in order to set a plan into motion.

The protagonist returns later to Ritsuko City with a new identity chip and under a new name. The protagonist has been secretly delivering McKeown's funds to the star pilots whom were subjected by his books. Warden, now an important figure in Salvation Station, returns to the plaza in order to ask the protagonist to join the station, but he refuses. She also has discovered McKeown's identity and will not disclose it either. As the protagonist is about to board his ship, he is stopped by a guard with a warrant for arrest due to missing his court date. Despite having a new identity, the protagonist decides to hand himself over, claiming he had "stopped remembering."

Characters

The Protagonist: A former star pilot who is hired to impersonate Jacques McKeown, a famous author. Originally a war hero for several different planets, the protagonist has become jaded over the invention of quantum tunneling and longs to return to the glory days. He is a talented pilot who boasts that he is able to fly any ship with at least one wing. He is shown to have several identities, and is referred as McKeown throughout most of the novel. He is 37 years old.

Jacques McKeown: A pen name for an anonymous author who has become well known for their books set during the age of space exploration. Despite a widespread popularity from younger readers, they are virtually despised by every star pilot for profiting off of their war stories. The protagonist assumes this identity throughout most of the novel.

Penelope "Penny" Warden: A woman hailing from Earth who originally was Mr. Henderson's personal assistant. She initially hires the protagonist to impersonate Jacques McKeown in order to appease Mr. Henderson's son for his birthday, and is later forced to partner up with him in order to flee from her former boss. She is mostly cold, calculative, and possesses a sharp mind and wit, which frequently clashes with the protagonist.

Mr. Henderson: An orange skinned man who is the head of Henderson Lunar and Extrasolar Enterprises. Despite his company's reputation, Mr. Henderson is in reality the boss of a notorious crime organization, and has committed many atrocities throughout the galaxy. Despite his outwardly cheerful demeanor, he is very dangerous and uses whatever means necessary to get his way, although he cares deeply for his son Daniel.

Carlos: Mr. Henderson's right-hand man, a humanoid alien who possesses innumerable strength and durability which he inflicts on whoever Mr. Henderson orders him to.

Daniel: Mr. Henderson's spoiled and undisciplined son. His father had hired "Jacques McKeown" to be Daniel's personal pilot. Daniel is constantly whining and proclaiming his father to be "embarrassing". He is also rather oblivious, believing most of the events to be the work of his father trying to impress him.

Jemima: Daniel's friend who hails from the United Republic. She has pink hair and is 16 years old. Jemima is much more level headed than Daniel, and is intelligent and comprehensive. She is also the daughter of the president of the United Republic, who Jemima believes doesn't care for her.

Robert Blaze: The "original" star-pilot, he is a war hero who has saved numerous planets before retirement, and is the current leader and founder of Salvation Station.

References

External links

• Will Save the Galaxy for Food at Dark Horse Books