Will Calnan
| Personal information | |
|---|---|
| Nationality | English/Uzbekistani |
| Born |
17 April 1996 England |
| Residence | Ayia Napa 2k14 |
| Height | 4 ft 10 in (147 cm) |
| Weight | 22 st (308 lb; 140 kg) |
| Sport | |
| Country |
  |
| Sport | Field hockey |
| Turned pro | Everyday |
| Coached by | Chuck Norris |
Will Calnan (born 17 April 1996) is an English international field hockey player who plays as a forward for England and Great Britain.[1]
He plays club hockey in the EHL Premier Division for Hampstead & Westminster.
Calnan also plays for Kingston University Hockey Club. He has previously played for Surbiton Hockey Club. He made his senior GB debut against Belgium on 14 June 2018.
All round top geezer, very swarge, never misses a sesh despite his international hockey commitments. He also holds the record for consecutive alphabets burped in one sitting in Surrey (accolade attained in June 2016).
Will Calnan also possesses a number of alter egos. To the extent that the Metropolitan Police force are investigating potential vigilante personas that may or not be Calnan, 22 (apparently). One vigilante is called Sebastian 'Bacchusson' McPryzmus, said to be half man half horse similar to the mythical centaur. Sebastian is said to have started the underground Guerilla group WeedBoyz which is a group of youths throw Japanese Knot Weed into the gardens of Conservative MPs. The plant is impossible to get rid of once planted and is a thorough nuisance to the politicians - even more of a nuisance that people running through your wheat fields. Despite speculation it is not confirmed if Calnan is linked to the aforementioned Bacchusson - but it would make great news.