Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

"Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit" is a playground saying and children's song about the capacity for beans to contribute to flatulence.[1] The song is also variously known as "Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Miracle Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Mystical Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Tropical Fruit", "Beans, Beans, the Wonderful Fruit", and "Beans, Beans, they make you fart". One variation of the song (sometimes called the second verse) is titled "Beans, Beans, They're Good for Your Heart."

The basis of the song (and bean/fart humor in general) is the high amount of oligosaccharides present in beans. Bacteria in the large intestine digest these sugars, producing carbon dioxide and hydrogen. These gases are expelled from the body as flatulence.[2]

Lyrics

Various versions of the song exist.[3] These are some examples of the lyrics:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So we have beans at every meal!1

or

Pinto beans, are good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
Pinto beans for every meal

or

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
Down your pants and in your boot 1

or

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
Then you’re ready for another meal!

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So why not have beans for every meal (Also, So eat your beans at every meal)

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the happier/better you feel
So let's eat beans with every meal1

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart, the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat

or

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart
the more you eat the more you fart
the more you fart the better you feel
beans, beans for every meal. This line can also be replaced with: "So eat your beans with every meal"

1This line can also be replaced with: "So eat them beans at every meal"

Beans, beans the magical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel
So eat good beans with every meal

or

Beans, beans, they make you fart
The more you fart the more you poo
The more you poo the more you do, which makes you wee
The more you wee the happier you'll be

Or

Beans, beans the magical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot, it’ll make you fly
The more you toot, the more you cry
Then you’ll be happier like the other poem saidr> Then you won’t feel like being dead

Or

Beans, beans the magical fruit
The more you eat
The more you toot
The more you toot the better you’ll feel
The better you feel
The more fish you reel
The more fish you eat you eat beans with too.

Or

Fava Beans, Fava Beans
Poop comes out like Lava Beans
Hot, hot lava
Hot, hot steam
In more pain than I've ever BEAN

  • In two episodes of The Simpsons, "Whacking Day" and "Margical History Tour", Bart gets in trouble for singing "Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit".
  • In Salute Your Shorts Bobby Budnick twice attempted to recite "Beans, Beans..." in a camera audition for a camp play but was interrupted by Counselor Kevin "Ug" Lee both times.
  • In Skullmonkeys during a cut-scene between levels.[4]
  • A version of the rhyme appears at the beginning of Robert Crumb's comic strip, "Crybaby's Blues". [5]
  • In Rocko's Modern Life episode "Bye, Bye Birdie", as Rocko, Heffer and Filburt have a funeral for Turdy (Filburt's pet bird), Heffer sang the song before Filburt stopped him before he can finish.
  • In Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Tinker Ed", Ed sang the song before Eddy interrupted him by saying "Shut up Ed!" and drags him with his lip.
  • In Total Drama Island episode "Paintball Deer Hunter", as the kids are served canned beans for breakfast, Owen sings the song before Heather throws a can at his face.
  • A UK promo for Boomerang airing Camp Lazlo was made featuring recycled clips of episodes with the song sung by the announcer with the word "fart" censored with a flatulence sound two times before the last line of the song was played "The more you eat, the more you sit on the toilet seat". Then, a clip of Raj is shown saying "Excuse me but I am busy questioning your sanity".
  • In the Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures episode "Cosmic Contest", as Pac eats nachos with bean dip, Sir Cumfrence warns Pac by starting to sing the song, but is interrupted and only sings the first verse.
  • In the first book (The Gunslinger) of The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, the raven called Zoltan croaks "Beans beans, the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot".
  • In the 2017 film Woody Woodpecker (2017 film), Woody begins eating beans by starting to sing the song before eating everything from Tommy's parents.
  • In The Loud House episode "A Tale Of Two Tables", Lincoln sings the song in order to get banned from sitting at the grown-up table when he finds it boring after overhearing his sisters sing it.
  • A "Dot's Poetry Corner" segment on Animaniacs had Dot reciting the poem.

References

Footnotes

  1. ↑ Carey, Bjorn Scientists take the ‘toot’ out of beans MSNBC.com, April 25, 2006 (accessed November 17, 2007).
  2. ↑ "Flatulence". MedicaLook.com. Retrieved December 22, 2010.
  3. ↑ Seedy songs and rotten rhymes has several versions of the song.
  4. ↑ "Skullmonkeys: Beans". Retrieved May 1, 2013.
  5. ↑ Crumb, Robert. The Complete Crumb Comics Vol 11. Fantagraphics Books 1995, p.42. ISBN 978-1560971726. (Originally from Arcade #5, Spring 1976.)

General sources

  • Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart, ISBN 1-58008-011-1
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