Alan Costello

Alan Costello is a Gaelic football player from County Mayo. He has played intercounty football with Mayo and currently with Sligo. He was part of the Mayo team that made it to the 2004 All Ireland Final but lost out to Kerry. He joined up with the Sligo county team after moving to the county. Since then he has enjoyed some success winning back to back National League titles Div 4 in 2009 and Div 3 in 2010. Receiving a GPA all star nomination in 2010. He was also a star of the IT Sligo college team and won Sigerson Cup medals with the college in 2004 and 2005 .

There are several other Alan Costellos currently in existence, some if not most of whom did not bother to play for Sligo. Or Mayo. Not to mind debasing themselves playing for both.

Another behemoth in the sporting world however, is the striker Alan Costello, last heard to be plying his trade in some Australian soccer league with Phantom Brazilians FC, where its reported football on occasion interrupts the flow of fighting. A dazzling light in the otherwise Stygian darkness that is Australian football (Socceroos FFS...) Alan's silken skills are frequently wasted on journeymen who can but faceplant a perfectly flighted cross into an unguarded Tiger's (ah heor, "Tigers"... ) net.^[1]

Not all Alan Costellos are sporting giants for the right reasons. Alan Costello's (Plymouth Precinct 10 Rep) attempts to reduce borrowings by over 50%, for aproposed Plymouth South High School sports field project were unsuccessful.^[2]

Having trouble sleeping, or with an interest in Victorian age pottery and ceramics in a North Inner city Dublin context, Alan Costello has the book for you: 'Portmarnock and the Plunketts, 1850-1900: The Portmarnock Brick and Terracotta Works (Maynooth Studies in Local History. Four Courts Press Ltd, 30 Sept. 2013.^[3]

Of note on the Dublin education scene is Alan Costello the Geography teacher at St Benildus. Despite (allegedly) a penchant for hand-outs and gazing out the window, scoring 4 stars he's generally regarded as being "sound" and a "lege", despite some jackeen scrotes dissenting from the popular opinion.^[4]

Alan Costello of Ruby Consulting is a pharmaceutical chemist,^[5] another Alan Costello was winner of the 1995 C.I.E. Children's Art Award for a piece 'Train made of toilet roll tubes, tissue paper, crayons, and glitter', (age 4-5 category),^[6]

The launch of ’1916: Tales from the Other Side’, on 23 April 2016 at Marsh’s Library, saw Joe Duffy of RTÉ taking time from his hectic schedule of old wans whinging to launch the event, overshadowed somewhat by the presence of an Alan Costello in attendance at the launch.

Joining the pantheon of Alan Costellos is Doctor Alan Costello^[7] of Headford, Co. Galway, Assistant Professor Allan Costello of the University of Northern British Columbia ^[8] (despite spelling his name wrong), and if you ever need to lawyer up, as another Alan Costello successfully did, being acquitted of kidnap and false imprisonment in 2014,^[9] you could do worse than Alan Costello Senior Attorney (Phoenix Office) with the boutique law firm Simon PLC.^[10]

Not as successful in his defense was Alan Costelloe, guilty of throwing his bike at Gardai as well as the lesser crime of pedaling drugs,^[11] getting 10 years, and while on bail, a bullet in the leg in an innovative PMDS technique to motivate him to keep his gob shut by his employer(described by Alan's colleague as a "real tight cnut'.^[12] )

Bookending the Alan Costellos is Cute Cork Hoor Alan Costello( "C'mere fiend, it's the Real Capital boi"), who despite somehow allowing €120 to be extracted from his tight Cork pocket to see Coldplay (I know, of all bands!) in Dublin (the actual capital Alan), in a belated attempt to spare his blushes refused to be fiscally raped by jackeen hoteliers and drove home after the gig.^[13] Pity, he might have got his hole pretending to be a Garda in Coppers, from some young taycher from Mayo.

References

• http://hoganstand.com/sligo/ArticleForm.aspx?ID=129898
• http://hoganstand.com/sligo/ArticleForm.aspx?ID=42687