Episode 1

Pat: I guess it was not till 2 or 3 years ago when the boys had left home, and I thought "What are you doing with your life, Pat?" I said "Get out there and take on the world. Get out in public and say 'Yes I'm disabled, but I can roll'".

Daniel: But I'm like pretty much the smarter one, like Nathan is not as smart as me, like he had to repeat year 3 and that. Mum reckons Nathan's 3 percent spastic, like he's just got the tiniest bit of it in him.

Phil Olivetti: ...this whole Australian of the Year thing. I laughed at the suggestion when I nominated myself.

Episode 2

Phil: (answering machine) Talk about a rough day at work! G'day, you've reached Phil Olivetti. I'm not here right now, so I must be out rescuing kids or something. Only kidding. Just leave me a message. Bye.

Pat: (Talking about her relationship with Terry) We sometimes make up our own games. We've got a game, which I call The Staring Game, which absolutely drives this guy mad. The object of the game is that I stare at Terri with big wide eyes, just stare at him for hours and hours and eventually, he'll crack.

Daniel Sims: That's the weird thing about Nathan, like heaps of chicks in town are like fully into him and that cause he's like slightly retarded, and I think chicks are totally into… like attracted to spastic qualities in blokes so… that's what I'm thinking, once I give up my ear and that I might be more attractive to chicks and that cause I'm sort of a little bit handicapped.

Episode 3

Ricky Wong: We are very similar. If you had a naked aboriginal man and a naked chinese man, they would be exactly the same… except the naked chinese man would have a smaller penis.

Episode 4

Ja'mie King: I don't appreciate you guys being inconsiderate, and I basically think you're all slack bitches

Episode 5

Ja'mie King: Are you a manager? Because you so don't sound like a manager, you sound like a dumb-ass fat bitch.

Episode 6

Sonali: I'm sorry you lose.

Ja'mie King: You don't have to be a sarcastic bitch about it.