- For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).
Bart's Not Dead
- Dolph: Hey, Martin Princess. If you like that cello so much, why don't you marry it?
- Chalmers: No heckling!
- Skinner: Way to crush him, sir.
- Kearney: Hey, Skinner! If you like Chalmers so much, why don't you marry him?
- Skinner: Well, as the superintendent, he's married to all the principals.
- Chalmers: Thank you. You've made the anniversary of my wife's death even more depressing.
- Milhouse: She loves me, she loves me not. Oh, why do I always use flowers with two pedals?
- Ralph: I'm turning my back on you. [does a 360] Hi, Bart!
Heartbreak Hotel
My Way or the Highway to Heaven
Genevieve Bouvier: 'My husband is a collaborator!' US Paratrooper: 'Well I've got a screenplay I've been looking for someone to help me write.' Genevieve Bouvier: 'Not zat kind.' US Paratrooper: 'If I just get something on the page, that's progress.'
Treehouse of Horror XXIX
- Sea Captain: Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.
- Homer: SpongeBob?
- Sea Captain: No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!
- Sea Captain: An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.
- Lisa: Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.
- Cthulhu: Uh-oh.
Baby You Can't Drive My Car
From Russia Without Love
- Moe: I'm putting on pants for this!
Werking Mom
Krusty the Clown
- Principal Skinner: I come bearing the thing you journalists hate most. News.
Daddicus Finch
- Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman. I'm here with three local blue-collar men who voted for Trump. How do you feel now?
- Blue-Collar Man: Please stop interviewing us.
- Kent Brockman: Never!
'Tis the 30th Season
Mad About the Toy
The Girl on the Bus
- Ralph: I have five face holes!
I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can
- Ned: Diddly? They can't say that on TV.
The Clown Stays in the Picture
101 Mitigations
I Want You (She's So Heavy)
- Ralph: [inside the lobster tank] I'm expensive!
E My Sports
Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy
Girl's in the Band
I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh
D'oh Canada
- Homer: While the children are bouncing around why we don't do a little bouncing too.
- Marge: That it's even more romantic than what you said at quarter backs.
Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion
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