Episode 1.Bring It On

The Gross Sisters: We're not here to do some stupid cheer, so just empty your pockets in put the money in here.

Nubia: Now!

Suga Mama (to Penny): I told you to glitch that Dijonay!

Episode 2.Strike

Penny: How do they expect me to act like a grownup on this little bit of money they give me?

Dijonay: I don't even get the little, just the bit.

LaCienega: I hear that. I can't do anything on the 500 my parents give me.

Penny: Fifty cents? I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

LaCienega: That's fifteen dollars, Penny Pincher!

Oscar (to Penny): What have you learned?

Penny: That an allowance is not a right, but a privilege. And from now on, let Mama do the negotiating.

Oscar: What? Did you hear what she just said?

Trudy: Yes, and that's my girl.

Episode 3.Rumors

Trudy (to Penny): Ok, baby. You know the rules. No loud music.

Oscar: No boys.

Trudy: No running up my phone bill.

Oscar: No boys.

Trudy: And the most important rule of all...

Penny, LaCienega, Zoey & Dijonay: No boys.

Dijonay: Yesterday, someone spread a nasty rumor about Penny Proud and Myron Lewinski. Today, Myron is my in-studio guest and he's here to clear things straight. Welcome to the show, Myron!

Myron: Thank you, Dijonay, with your fine self.

Dijonay: Oh, Myron, you so smooth. If you weren't with Penny, I--

Penny: Dijonay!

Dijonay: So, erm, Myron, what exactly DID happen between you and Penny last Saturday night?

Myron: As usual, the ladies are all over me and... (Penny slaps Myron in the back of the head) Uh, I mean nothing happened. Penny is a nice girl and I have nothing, but the outmost love... (Penny slaps him again) I mean respect for her.

Episode 4.Tiger Whisperer

Ajay: I like antelope liver. With some fauva beans. And a nice chianti.

Episode 5.EZ Jackster

Wizard Kelly: That's Mission Impossible. Everywhere the Wizard goes, I hear a Sir-Paid-A-Lot song. "I'm gonna BEEP BEEP your BEEP!". It's just so darn catchy.

Penny (to Dijonay): Can you keep a secret?

Dijonay: Girl, you know I can't!

Penny: Good.

(After Penny is arrested)

Trudy: Well, this has to be the most embarrassing night of my life.

Oscar: So I forgot to take down the Christmas lights, I said I'm sorry.

Suga Mama: Not you, Jingle Bells, she's talking about Penny.

Episode 6.Spelling Bee

(Penny sees a photo of Oscar as a teen)

Penny: Ew! Why is your hair sticking out like that?

Suga Mama: Because it was N-A-P-P-Y.

Episode 7.She's got game

Oscar (to Penny when she wants to play boys' football): There's no pain like football pain.

Trudy: Oh, yeah. What about childbirth?

Oscar: Well, okay that's worst, but I'm not signing a permission slip for that either.

Penny: I could have won the game.

Trudy: Oh, Penny, you won so much more. You won so much more.

Episode 8.Forbidden Date

Penny (to Oscar) You always tell me to grow up, but when I try to, you treat me like a little kid! You guys don't let me do anything!

Episode 9.Teacher's Pet

Episode 10.Don't Leave Home Without It

Oscar (to Trudy): How can you be afraid of mice? You're a veterinarian. You give shots to lions and tigers, for crying out loud.

Trudy: I can't help it. It's those beady eyes, that little, those big ears and that boney tail.

Suga Mama: Do you realize you just described Oscar to a "T"?

Oscar: At least that mouse is gone. (The mouse reappears right next to him) He's standing right next to me, isn't he?

Episode 11.Seven Days of Kwanzaa

Bobby (singing): Merry Christmas y'all! And a Happy Hanukkah too. Feliz Navidad! Feliz Navidad!

Oscar: Well, Margaret, thanks to your stories about how turkeys are enslaved before they're pumped full of steriods, nobody could eat.

Suga Mama: Except for Bobby.

Bobby (singing): I ate it all, y'all. It was good, y'all. Now I need an antacid, y'all!

Episode 12.Makeover

Penny: Now you guys what to explain to Olei why you can't help her? (Dijonay, Zoey and LaCienga shake their heads) Cause y'all are gonna help me right (Dijonay, Zoey and LaCienga nod) Now give me your lunch money! (Dijonay, Zoey and LaCienga put out their money) Just kidding.

Episode 13.The Party

LaCienega: Bam! Because I'll be hosting my party that night.

Penny: Bam! I got MC Sticky.

Trudy: Okay, everyone. Now it's time for everybody's favorite part of the night.

Penny: Everybody goes home?

Penny (crying): I can't believe I have such fake friends!

Trudy: You mean like you're being right now?

Nubia: No, you about to get got.

Suga Mama (to Myron): Slow your roll, Urkel. We playing Pretzel.

Episode 14.Love Thy Neighbor

Penny (to Oscar): You and Mom tell me all kinds of things I think are stupid until I hear them from somebody else.

Michael (about LaCienga's feet): Hey, everybody, it's Flipper!

Penny : It's LaCienga. We had to take our swim test the other day and... Well.

It's the foot thing again isn't it. Everybody laughed at her. Foot thing. What foot thing? LaCienga's a little special. She's got feet like a duck. Felix! But it's true.

Episode 15.I Had a Dream

Mr. Webb: Every year, we do the same things for Black History Month, but this year, it's time for a change.

Dijonay: Are we still going to have George Washington Carver peanut butter cookies?

Mr. Webb: Of course we are. Now there are some traditions you just don't mess with.

Mr. Webb: A person who doesn't understand his history won't have a future.

Penny: Why is everyone at school separated?

Zoey: What do you mean?

Penny: You know, the Whites, the Blacks. LaCienega.

Episode 16.I Love You, Penny Proud

Suga Mama: I'm glad the restaurant lost our reservation.

Papi (in Spanish): Lost? I canceled them. I couldn't risk being seen with you in public.

Penny (to Johnny): That's it. I've had it with you. It's over.

Johnny: Wait, what's over?

Penny: We're over!

Johnny: I thought you liked me. I thought you were my girlfriend. I know, it's my wheels, isn't it?

Penny: No. Your wheels aren't the reason I don't like you. But they are the reason I said I'd be your girlfriend. That and because I felt sorry for you. But I don't anymore. You need a personality check, Johnny. You're rude, obnoxious, inconsiderate. You disrespected my parents, my grandmother, me. You're not a nice person, Johnny. But my family, they are nice people and I'm sorry I ever brought you around. So why don't you break?

Episode 17.Puff's Magic Adventure

LaCienega: I'm here for the reward.

Oscar: Where is Puff?

LaCienega: Oh, you want the dog? So that's how that works.

LaCienega (to Penny): Look, Proud. Bebe's Kids and Snoopy will be fine, okay?

Episode 18.Enter the Bullies

Dr. Payne (to Oscar): According to my record, you missed a flu shot.

Oscar: Is that all? Just hook me up with a vaccine pop, preferrably cherry.

Dr. Payne: You don't get a sucker, sucker!

(Oscar blinks his eyes in surprise and Dr. Payne pulls him with his stethoscope)

Oscar: Trudy, help me! Mama, give me something!

Suga Mama: Stop acting like a baby. Be a man!

Penny: I'm just gonna find some common ground.

Dijonay: Oh, you gonna find the ground, all right.

Suga Mama: Fifty Dollars? Tell me where these hooligans live. (karate sounds while making a karate move) Nobody steals from my grand baby.

Episode 19.The Altos

Suga Mama (talking to Trudy about Oscar): I thought you said hero, not zero.

Episode 20.Hip Hop Helicopter

Oscar (to Penny): If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

Penny: If it was fun!

Oscar: Fun?!!

Penny: Mommy, Daddy, can I go with my girls to go see the Hip-Hop Helicopter?

Oscar: Nope.

Penny: Why not, Daddy?

Oscar: Cause I've seen that show and I know there will be boys there.

Trudy: Oh, Oscar, you're impossible! Do you know there are boys at church too?

Oscar: Fine. She can't go there either.

Sunset: We need to respect our elders.

Oscar: No; we need to bury them.

Oscar: You need a spare to win. Don't choke.

Episode 21.Romeo Must Wed

Dijonay (to Penny): Ooh, let's go over and check out the "Other woman". Oh, wait a minute. Technically, you're the Skeezer!

Episode 1.A Star is Scorned

Wizard Kelly: Everybody say Penne 'cause it rhymes with money!

Dijonay (to Penny): Since when are we your background singers?

Penny: Since you've been standing in the back.

Episode 2.A Hero for Halloween

Oscar (about his Proud Snacks): What's wrong with them?

Garrett Krebs: Your face on the wrappers probably scared them.

Oscar: Hey! Nobody insults Oscar Proud in his own house.

Garrett Krebs: Where do they go to insult you?

Garrett Krebs (to Oscar about the Prouds) Silence! You have a wonderful family, a pretty wife, three lovely kids and a cute little doggy!

Episode 3.Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thingy, Baby

Oscar: Thingy went AWOL and these babies are about to go off the wall and I don't mean like Michael Jackson.

Episode 4.Poetic Justice

Dijonay (while reciting one of her poems): Rip, rip, ree, kick em' in the knee! Rip, rip, rass, kick him in the...other knee!

Penny (while reciting her poem): Life is a cool breeze on a hot summer night. Or a hug from your mom that feels just right. Life is fun like playing in the sun. Life is real, you know the deal. Enjoy every minute, don't let it pass you by. Because life is a gift. So you better, fly high.

Gangster: For the last time: Where's the money?

Oscar: What money? I don't know what you're talking about!

Gangster: Okay, boys. Help him remember.

Oscar: Trudy! I'm sorry! Please change the channel! (screaming as he gets beaten up)

Episode 5.Behind Family Lines

Ray Ray (to Dr. Parker): If you call me one more name that I don't understand, you ain't gonna have to worry about no baptism, you gonna have to worry about a slap-tism!

Trudy (to Penny & her cousins): What on Earth were you kids thinking?

Oscar: Trudy, we know what they were thinking. That's how you drive the truck!

Episode 6.Hooray for Iesha

Oscar: Trudy!

Suga Mama: What now?

Oscar: I asked for Trudy, not Howdy Doody. Ha-ha!

Suga Mama: Trudy, this probably isn't a good time to tell you, but Oscar is scared of heights, water, his shadow...

Voice: Warning these flames are real.

Oscar: Those flames are not real. Watch. (sticks his hand in the flames and is burned to a crisp) See, nothing happened. (disintegrates from the flames) Trudy, call the doctor.

Episode 7.Camping Trip

(A sign reads "There Are No More Gas Stations" )

Oscar: Oh, come on, they just say that to scare you!

(Another sign reads "No, Really, There Are No More Gas Stations" )

Episode 8.Crouching Trudy, Hidden Tiger

Suga Mama: You know what I could have bought for a hundred and twenty five dollars in my day?

Oscar: A chariot? A painted wagon? A brontosaurus burger! (laughs)

Suga Mama:You better find my Sons Car

Episode 9.Pulp Boot Camp

Penny: So what you gonna do, Trudy? Ground me as usual? I don't care. I'll do the time.

Oscar: Oh, you'll be doing the time alright, but you won't be doing it here like I am. You're going to boot camp!

Episode 10.Tween Town

Penny: Wait! Why are we tripping? There's no way our parents are going to let us go to a teen nightclub. Shoot, my daddy won't even let me join the Glee Club. (imitates Oscar) "I don't want you singin' with no boys. Trudy!!!!!"

Dijonay: This club is the bomb!

LaCienega: Yes I am!

Dijonay: I said the club is the bomb. Not you!

Episode 11.One in a Million

[After Dijonay speaks in Italian to Kobe Bryant]

Zoey: Dijonay, I didn't know you speak Italian.

Dijonay: I was speaking Italian?

Episode 12.Hmmm... Tastes Like

SUGA MAMA: Where's my grandbaby?

( Penny moaning ): Here, grandma .youre son Daddy made me siiiiiiick! ( sobs )

Suga Mama: I know he did, baby. Your daddy makes everybody sick.

Oscar: Hmm, maybe because it's two million dollars more than I thought I'd ever see in my pathetic life!

Episode 13.There's Something About Rene

Episode 14.Adventures in Bebe Sitting

Dijonay (to Penny): I'll be back before you can say duck!

(Penny gets hit on the head with a book)

Penny: Hey!

Dijonay: I told you to duck!

Penny (to Dijonay): Can't you control your brothers and sisters?

Dijonay: No, can you?

Nutmeg (to the limo driver): At least my Daddy don't have a big old head.

Limo Driver: My head's big. You better look in the mirror. Oh, but you can't cause your head's so big. It's so big you need an IMAX theater to see it.

Episode 15.Surf and Turf

Dijonay (to Sticky): Who are you?

Sticky: I'm Sticky. Sticky Webb. The man you stalk.

Suga Mama: Papi, if I don't make it, tell my family that I love them!

Papi (translated): If you don't make it, lots of fish will eat well tonight!

Episode 16.Johnny Lovely

Johnny Lovely (to Penny): I'm just being polite.

Penny: Like I said, nobody acts like that anymore.

Penny (to Johnny Lovely): Haven't you ever heard of Oprah? J-Lo? Janet Jackson? Kim Possible?

Episode 17.The Camp, the Counselor, the Mole and the Rock

Peabo (to Oscar): Remember what happened last time you asked me to spy on Penny?

Oscar: Hey! Those charges were dropped!

Dijonay: Hey, Mr. Proud!

Oscar: Don't "Hey, Mr. Proud" me!

Episode 18.It Takes a Thief

Trudy: Get up, Oscar. We're going to take the twins to the zoo.

Oscar: Come on, Trudy. The twins don't wanna go to Suga Mama's house!

Penny (to LaCienega): So, are we girls again?

LaCienega: We never were.

Episode 19.Wedding Bell Blues

Suga Mama: Don't worry. Suga Mama's got figgity-fat pockets.

Oscar: No, you got pockets of figgity-fat!

Suga Mama: I have to tell you something. It's bad news.

Papi (translated): You have a twin sister?

Episode 20.Penny Potter

Oscar: In with the spice and out with the not-so nice.

Wizard Kelly: Suga Mama, what are you doing?

Suga Mama: Trying to watch the movie if you'd shut up!

Episode 1.Monkey Business

Oscar: I can do anything a monkey and a 9 year-old can do.

Episode 2.Thelma and Luis

Sunset: I'll set out a APB!

Oscar: I'll do better than that! I'll send out a I.G.L.O.O! My man, Igloo!

Trudy: Oscar! He's a mall cop!

Suga Mama: I don't know who that man was on the massage table, but it wasn't Papi. His feet have NEVER been that small.

Penny: Then you believe us?

Suga Mama: Of course, now come on, I got the girls and Sticky down in the car, we're going to break Papi out!

Episode 3.Culture Shock

Penny:What's that.

Sticky:Who ask you.

( Zoey laughs )

Dejonay:This is Cold

Oscar:Oh Damn

Suga Mama:Can I tell you a Story.

Oscar & Trudy:What Suga Mama?

Episode 4.Election

Penny: I wanna win this election fair and square.

Nubia: Fair? The last person who said fair was Al Gore.

Penny: I can't show that tape. It will hurt Wizzie's feelings.

Zoey: He's rich, he can buy new feelings

Oscar:Hell with Y'all

Episode 5.The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Oscar: (singing) LaCienega is the winn-ega!

Penny: (singing) But the contest-a was a-rigged-a!

Episode 6.Smackmania 6: Mongo vs. Mama's Boy

Trudy: Hot Mama, meet Baby Mama!!!

Trudy: I'ma get you Oscar! I'll get you and your monkey too!

Episode 7.Suga Mama's Believers

Suga Mama: You can do anything if you put your mind to it!

Oscar: Roses are red, violets are blue, today, you'll be playing in your underoos!

Episode 8.Twins to Tweens

Trudy: Penny!

Penny: What? You need me to iron Bebe and Cece's clothes?

Trudy: No, that can wait.

Zoey (to Penny): Bebe and Cece are hot and you're not!

Episode 9.She Drives Me Crazy

Oscar: You can't hurt anything that old! Suga Mama survived some of the greatest disasters in the history of mankind: The Hindenburg, the Titanic, that meteor that took out the dinosaurs and 30 years of "The Jeffersons" reruns.

Episode 10.Who You Callin' a Sissy?

Penny: Daddy, do you know where a thesaurus is?

Oscar: No, but I know where a dino-sarus is. We call it Suga Mama. Ha, ha!

Suga Mama: I heard that!

Episode 11.Psycho Duck (A.K.A. Duck Story)

Dijonay: I want to kiss my Sticky, not something icky.

Oscar: I know evil! I would know! Evil gave birth to me!