Shining Time Station (1989–93) was an American PBS spinoff of the Thomas and Friends series, although it was co-created by Britt Allcroft. The series returned with Family Specials in 1995 and later as Mr. Conductor's Thomas Tales in 1996.

Season 1

A Place Unlike Any Other [1.1]

[Matt cleans by Mr. Conductor's signal house]
Mr. Conductor: Here. You missed a spot. It's the window over here. You did the others, but don't miss this one. That's a good lad.
[appears out of nowhere and Matt is surprised]
Mr. Conductor: Onto a job half way, but worth doing is worth doing well, I say. And that goes double when you're doing my windows. Because they're double pains. A pain in the neck, and a pain to clean. Do you know what I see when I look at that clean window?
Matt: No.
Mr. Conductor: The inside of the switch house. What else would I see? Well done, lad. What's your name?
Matt: Mat--Matthew--M-- Matt!
Mr. Conductor: Or is it Matthew-Matt-Matthew? And you may call me Mr. Conductor. Well, you're a good worker. You know who'd like you? My friend Thomas.
Matt: Thomas lives in there with you?
Mr. Conductor: Dear me, no! Thomas is a steam engine, and he lives on the Island of Sodor. You are interested in trains, aren't you?
Matt: Yes, sir.
Mr. Conductor: Splendid. Then I'll tell you a story about my friend Thomas. You do like stories, don't you?
Matt: Oh, yeah.
Mr. Conductor: Very well. But first, I have to find my whistle.
[he looks in his pockets for his whistle and finds it]
Mr. Conductor: Ah! Here we go!
[he blows his whistle and the first story begins]
Mr. Conductor: If you've come back to clean the windows, they haven't had a chance to get dirty!
Matt: Where'd you go before?
Mr. Conductor: Railroad work takes me everywhere, Matt. You don't spend a lot of time in one place. It's a traveling business. I was just off traveling with Edward.
Matt: Who's Edward?
Mr. Conductor: You don't know Edward?! Of course you don't know Edward! If you didn't know Thomas, how could you know Edward? I'll tell you a story about Edward.
Harry: There's just something about this place.

Does It Bite? [1.2]

Mr. Conductor: [views the new schedule] Impossible! Ridiculous! And foolishness! This new train schedule is tommyrot, balderdash, and cuckoo. There isn't a train on Earth that can go from Point Pokey to Cloggyville in 11 seconds. It's 14 miles, and look here-- From Doodletown to Turley in 18 hours. Well, it's impossible. Why, I can walk from Doodletown to Turley in 15 minutes, and I'm only 18 inches tall! I'll just have to write the correct times in here.
[as he is about to, Stacy enters and notices]
Stacy: What are you doing? Stop that! Those are the new train schedules from the railroad company. I am the only one who can change those schedules.
Mr. Conductor: Well, it may be new, but it's not a train schedule.
Stacy: Give me that pencil!
Mr. Conductor: Never! You can't get from Buttertown to Chubby Corners in four seconds! [disappears]

Promises Promises [1.15]

[Mr. Conductor appears on the elephant ride from the arcade]
Matt: Mr. Conductor, what can we do?
Mr. Conductor: We can think. We must think. Come on, I've got my thinking cap. Now let's think.
[they start thinking until they hear Stacy and Mr. King]
Stacy: Matt, Tanya, we're back. This way, Mr. King.
Mr. King: I know the way out of a train station, Miss Jones.
Mr. Conductor: Oh, no! Mr. J.B. King, Esq., and I'm not wearing my conductor's hat! See you later, kids. [disappears]
Mr. King: Please, remove all of this equipment at once! Good day. [leaves]
Schemer: Boy, oh, boy. Who does he think he is?
Harry: He is J.B. King, Schemer! Superintendent of the whole railroad!
Schemer: Yikes. Open foot, insert in mouth.

Too Many Cooks [1.17]

Mayor Flopdinger: The name is Osgood Bob Flopdinger. I'm the mayor of East Shemp. And I'm looking for a man called Schemer. I never saw him before, but I know his voice. Have you seen him?
[Stacy notices Schemer directly behind the mayor and turns the mayor around to distract him while Schemer goes into hiding elsewhere]
Stacy: Oh. Mayor Flopdinger! We spoke on the phone earlier.
Mayor Flopdinger: Earlier than who?! [calmly] Never mind. The point is this. Have you tried that sandwich spread of his?
Stacy: Yes, I have tried it.
Mayor Flopdinger: Well, then I don't have to tell you that this stuff is inedible by man nor beast. My shaving cream tastes better than this.
Stacy: I'll tell Schemer you stopped by.
Mayor Flopdinger: Thank you very much. And tell Mr. Schemer that if he doesn't have a new, improved version of his sandwich spread in time for lunch, he's in big trouble! And not only with me, but also with every one of the Friends of the Flowering Cactus Ladies' Auxiliary. And that's not funny. Believe me, I speak from experience.
Matt: Mr. Conductor, how can Schemer make such a big mistake and still be like he always is? He's not sorry or anything.
Mr. Conductor: Well, he may not have learned anything. But you have learned about helping people. And Gordon has learned the same thing. Lucky thing for Thomas that he did too. But let me begin at the beginning.

Things That Go Ga-Hooga! in the Night [1.19]

Schemer: It's the real man with his head on backwards! It's the real man with his head on backwards! (screams and jumps over the desk)
Stacy: Was that Schemer?
Harry: I do believe it was.
Stacy: Were his clothes on backwards?
Harry: I do believe they were.

Is This the End? [1.20]

Mr. Conductor: Now, I think it is getting time for me to leave.
Matt: Not yet. Please, not yet.
Mr. Conductor: Now, let me tell you both something. (he removes his hat and dries his forehead with his hankerchief) No matter what happens, we will always be friends.
Tanya: Promise?
Matt: Promise?
Mr. Conductor: It's a promise! Good-bye, now. Good-bye. (he leaves without his hat)
Tanya: Wait! You forgot your hat.
Matt: It's too late. Now he's gone forever.

'Tis a Gift

Mr. Conductor: Oh! There's Midge Smoot! Don't tell her a secret. She's sure to leak it!

Season 2

Scare Dares [2.1]

Matt: Dear Cousin Dan, I can't wait for you to get here. Shining Time Station is busier than ever.
Tanya: Dear Cousin Kara, guess what? Our grandfather Harry is transferred to Fort Farley, so Shining Time Station has a new engineer. His name is Billy Twofeathers.
Matt: But Schemer is still Schemer, and you know what that means. And Aunt Stacy's fine, and she's really happy running the station. A man named Mr. Nicholas came to visit us at Christmas Time. Mr. Nicholas needed help at his workshop, so when he went back to his home at the North Pole, Mr. Conductor went along with him.
Tanya: But then, Mr. Conductor's cousin arrived. There's always a Mr. Conductor living here, or else it wouldn't be Shining Time Station. See you on Halloween. Love, Tanya.
Matt: When you get here. Your cousin, Matt.
Mr. Conductor: Tanya Lasanya and Matt the Hatt!

Oh, What a Tangled Web [2.2]

Mr. King: What, may I ask, is the meaning of this?
Schemer: [sleepily] Do be a love and scratch my foot, won't you? [notices Mr. King] Ah, hello, J.B. [suddenly reacts and is now wide awake] Mr. J.B. King, Esq., exalted head. The meaning of this! Yes. Uh, ah, yes. The meaning of this is that it is a managerial retreat. Yes. It's especially restful for important business-type people like yourself and I.
Mr. King: Put a sock in it, Schemer!!

The Magic is Believing [2.3]

Becky: Neat! How does a doll like that run? On batteries?
Mr. Conductor: STOP IT!! I don't come with batteries!
Becky: Yikes! It's a real little man!
Dan: We've been telling you, it's Mr. Conductor!
Kara: Now do you believe in magic?
Becky: I do. I do. I do!

Sweet and Sour [2.5]

[Midge and a group of women form a picket in front of Schemer and Schemee's stand]
Midge: All right, ladies. Just keep going around in a circle.
Schemer: Ah! My dear Midge Smoot.
Midge: Don't you dare "Midge Smoot" me! Why, you're lucky my dog is better. After eating two of your cookies, he was sick all afternoon.
Midge: Kids, we'll see ya at the garden party.
[she turns to Schemer]
Midge: As for you, Schemer, if you ever, ever, EVER try, or even THINK of trying, or consider, pulling such a stunt again, I personally will bring every member of the Friends of the Flowering Cactus Ladies' Auxillary down here to picket your arcade! And that is no JOKE!
[she and her troops drop Schemer to the floor, then march out of the station]
Schemer: Wait a minute. "Friends of the Flowering Cactus Ladies' Auxiliary"?! My mommy is in that group!
[he and Schemee run quickly out of the station]
Schemer: Hey, Midge! MIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Field Day [2.8]

Stacy: [looks at the new uniforms] "The Schemer Team"?
Matt: Well, Schemer did pay for the uniforms. (Mr. Conductor appears on his baseball bat)
Tanya: Maybe they'll look better when they're on. (Matt moves his bat, but Mr. Conductor falls, but a baseball mitt breaks his fall)
Kara: Mr. Conductor, are you okay?
Matt: Sorry, Mr. Conductor. I didn't see you there.
Mr. Conductor: [gets back on his feet] Oh, that's all right, Matt. Yes, Kara. I'm as right as rain. I landed as a soft pop fly, you might say.
Mr. Conductor: Weren't you supposed to be out playing baseball?
Kara: The game's not for a while yet.
Dan: And anyway, we're gonna lose.
Mr. Conductor: Well, you certainly will with that attitude. Imagine if Thomas had felt like that in the story of a famous race against Bertie.
Kara: Did Thomas win?
Becky: Tell us, Mr. Conductor.
Mr. Conductor: I will.

Crackpot [2.11]

Mr. Conductor: I don't think it matters on what we'll collect. All of it was not straw.
Kara and Becky: Straw?
Mr. Conductor: Haven't I told about the time Percy ended up with a big straw collection and didn't want it? No? Well, then I'll tell you now. [blows whistle]
Mr. Conductor: Stacy, are you calling me a crackpot?!

Double Trouble [2.16]

Mr. Conductor: He's not me!
Evil Mr. Conductor: Yes, I am!
Mr. Conductor: I'm much taller!
Evil Mr. Conductor: No, you're not!
Mr. Conductor: You're fatter, though.
Evil Mr. Conductor: No, I'm not! We're the same!
Mr. Conductor: We're not the same at all!
Evil Mr. Conductor: Yes, we are!
Mr. Conductor: No, we're not!
Evil Mr. Conductor: Yes, we are!
Mr. Conductor: I can prove it! That cutout fits my outline perfectly. It won't fit yours.
Evil Mr. Conductor: Will too!
Mr. Conductor: Will not!
Evil Mr. Conductor: Will too!
Mr. Conductor: Be my guest!
(the Evil Mr. Conductor runs over to the cut out space where he used to be a picture and lies down in it)
Evil Mr. Conductor: You'll see that I'm you, then you'll know that it's true.
(Mr. Conductor throws his magic dust on the Evil Mr. Conductor)
Mr. Conductor: GOTCHA!
(the Evil Mr. Conductor turns back into a picture)

Is Anybody There? [2.17]

(Schemer sees Mayor Flopdinger glaring at him and remembers something)
Schemer: Hello, everyone, we got a special birthday announcement for the mayor; it's the mayor's birthday today-
Mayor Flopdinger: No, it's not my birthday, it's my wife's birthday!
Schemer: I'm sorry, it's his wife's birthday- her name is Tuna Melt, and she's crispy on the outside, and she's soft on the inside. That's her name, and-
Mayor Flopdinger: Her name is Twylene! Hello, Twylene, dear. It's me, Twylene, yes, your husband!

Season 3

Becky Makes a Wish [3.1]

Billy: You know, Becky, Midge has a great heart, but sometimes I wish she'd zip her lip.
[unbeknownst to him, the wishing star passes him]
Billy: [having seen all the disaster the wishing star has caused] This is just one of those days I wish I'd stayed in bed.
[the star passes him; in an instant, he is in bed]

Schemer's Alone [3.2]

Mr. Conductor: Well, I'm here to work. What's our first step?
Billy: Uh, your first step, Mr. Conductor, is to watch your step. That shelf hasn't been... [the shelf comes off, and Mr. Conductor slides down] ...Nailed in.
Stacy: Mr. Conductor, are you all right?
Mr. Conductor: All right?! I appear for work and fall off a shelf? I've had better jobs, I'll tell ya.

Bully for Mr. Conductor [3.3]

Buster: We'll see how tough you are after I tell my dumb uncle what happened. Then I can draw on the walls all I want.
[he stops and looks at Mr. King, who glares at him]
Buster: Oh, hello, Uncle J.B. I was just telling them about how well you run the railroad.
Mr. King: You're already in enough trouble, Buster. Don't make it worse by lying to me.
Buster: Oh, but whatever do you mean, Uncle J.B.? We were just having fun.
Mr. King: Buster, we'll talk about it later. [points to the exit] Wait for me outside.
Buster: [upset] I never get to have any fun. [points to Dan] It's all his fault.
Mr. King: Outside!
[Buster exits the station]

Stacy Cleans Up [3.4]

Billy Saves the Day [3.6]

Mr. Conductor: Everyone has something special to offer, but you never know it unless you give them a chance to show you.

Billy's Party [3.7]

Stacy: Ginny, please, just try to calm down and tell us what happened.
Ginny: Well, you know my dog.
Stacy: Yes. The one you renamed Mr. Filthy?
Ginny: Well, this time, he's really gone and done it. I took the turkey outta the oven, and he's lookin' at it like a pointer. And I thought: "That's kinda cute", when all of a sudden, he lunged, attacked, ran out the back door with it and tore it to shreds! [frets] And now, I don't have a turkey.
Kara: Mr. Filthy is a bad dog.
Ginny: From now on, his new name is Mr. Get-Outta-There. What am I gonna do? My nephew and his wife are comin' for dinner.
Stacy: You know something? There's a place in Dillylick that has pre-cooked turkeys, and I'm sure they're open for at least another half an hour.
Ginny: I can't make it to Dillylick.
Billy: You could if I took you there.
Ginny: You'd do that for me?!
Billy: Sure.
Ginny: [sets to leave] Oh, come on. Let's go. Time's a-wastin'!

Schemer Goes Camping [3.10]

Becky: Stacy, we're not going camping in the rain, are we?
Stacy: No. I think we're gonna have to camp out in the station tonight.
Schemer: [laughs] Camp out in the station. Talk about survival!
Stacy: Well, what are you gonna do? You haven't packed any sleeping bags or blankets.
Kara: No food, no lanterns.
Becky: No raincoats, no flashlights.
Schemer: [through his bullhorn] Who cares? Real men know how to survive in the w--
[Stacy stuffs something in Schemer's bullhorn; Schemer lowers it]
Schemer: Real men know how to survive in the woods using their basic instincts. For example, if we get hungry, we'll just eat bugs and bees and bark like the bears do. And if it starts raining, why we'll just build a log cabin. In short, Miss Jones, we'll be living off the land like that great American frontiersman: Pat Boone.

Mr. Conductor's Evil Twin [3.11]

Evil Mr. Conductor: I won't go back! Not this time! A broken promise is not a crime.
Kara: Well, then, I'll tell on you.
Evil Mr. Conductor: Tell. Go ahead. They'll just get angry and sent you to bed.
Evil Mr. Conductor: Stick him quick! He'll get away!
Mr. Conductor: Wait! I'm me! He's not!
Evil Mr. Conductor: Stick him with that gluey pot!
Kara: Which one of you's Mr. Conductor?!
Evil Mr. Conductor: ME!
Mr. Conductor: ME!
Kara: Your whistle!
Evil Mr. Conductor: My whistle?!
Mr. Conductor: My whistle!
[the evil Mr. Conductor blows his whistle, which sounds like it used to be for the real one's whistle, and the real Mr. Conductor blows his whistle, which is still at its low toot from earlier; Kara pours the glue on the evil Mr. Conductor]
Evil Mr. Conductor: NO!!!!
[he turns back into a picture]
Mr. Conductor: YES! Thank you, Kara. If you hadn't recognized my whistle, we'd have never gotten out of this mess!

Bad Luck Day at Shining Time Station [3.12]

Schemer: [after finding out Schemee took his technique too far] Come on. He's just a child, and he's my nephew. I don't think it's appropriate that you punish him.
Midge: Why not?
Schemer: Because I'm going to.

Stacy Forgets Her Name [3.14]

Stacy: Tell me, do I know you?
Dan: Of course you know me. I'm your nephew, Dan.
Stacy: Oh, hi. Nice to meet you, Dan. [they shake hands as Mr. Conductor appears]
Mr. Conductor: Hi, Dan. Hello, Stacy. [Stacy looks at him]
Stacy: AAH! A little man! [hides behind the information desk]
Dan: Aunt Stacy, come back! It's only Mr. Conductor! [Mr. Conductor disappears, then reappears on the information desk. Stacy reacts]
Mr. Conductor: You don't have to be afraid of me. My name is Mr. Conductor, and I've known you since you were Dan's age. I knew your parents when they were Dan's age. I live here in the signal house on that mural.

Mr. Conductor's Movie [3.16]

Stacy: Ladies and gentlemen, cast and friends, Shining Time Station is proud to present... Oh. Mr. Conductor, what's your title?
Mr. Conductor: Producer/director.
Stacy: No, no, no, no. I mean, the title of the movie.
Mr. Conductor: Oh. A Little Light Madness.
Stacy: ...Proud to present, A Little Light Madness, starring... starring everyone.

The Joke's on Schemer [3.17]

Schemer: Oh, Miss Jones, you're such a smellerific sort of woman!
Schemer: (to lady passenger) I know what's going on here, and you know what's going on here. That means that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know what's going on here!

Cast

Series regulars

The Jukebox Band

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