Sugarwood [1.01]

Marty Byrde: Scratch. Wampum. Dough. Sugar. Clams. Loot. Bills. Bones. Bread. Bucks. Money. That which separates the haves from the have-nots. But what is money? It's everything if you don't have it, right? Half of all American adults have more credit card debt than savings. 25% have no savings at all. And only 15% of the population is on track to fund even one year of retirement. Suggesting what? The middle class is evaporating? Or the American Dream is dead? You wouldn't be sitting there listening to me if the latter were true. You see, I think most people just have a fundamentally flawed view of money. Is it simply an agreed-upon unit of exchange for goods and services? $3.70 for a gallon of milk? Thirty bucks to cut your grass? Or, is it an intangible? Security or happiness - peace of mind. Let me propose a third option. Money as a measuring device. You see, the hard reality is how much money we accumulate in life is not a function of who's president or the economy or bubbles bursting or bad breaks or bosses. It's about the American work ethic. The one that made us the greatest country on Earth. It's about bucking the media's opinion as to what constitutes a good parent. Deciding to miss the ball game, the play, the concert, because you've resolved to work and invest in your family's future. And taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions. Patience. Frugality. Sacrifice. When you boil it down, what do those three things have in common? Those are choices. Money is not peace of mind. Money's not happiness. Money is, at its essence, that measure of a man's choices.

Bruce Liddell: Now be honest, when was the last time you were really truly happy?

Marty Byrde: Oh, come on... come on.

Bruce Liddell: Okay, okay, you got me. You got me. Financial adviser's not my dream job, but I am taking a fucking bite out of the apple.

Marty Byrde: Are ya?

Bruce Liddell: Yeah! [pulls out a brochure] Hey, check this out. Check this out. Liz and I went here last weekend. Amazing. Amazing. Look at this.

Marty Byrde: Lake of the Ozarks?

Bruce Liddell: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lake of the Ozarks. Southern Missouri. The Redneck Riviera, baby.

Marty Byrde: This is an intimidation audit. Yeah? I mean, you think you can just come in here unannounced and rattle some cages, and someone's gonna admit to skimming? I mean, you're fishing. And, I mean, people steal, I get it. But you got a distribution chain downstream that's run by meth heads and drug dealers. That's where you're gonna find your Aunt Carlottas. They're not in here. We've been laundering money for Mr. Navarro for ten years? That's right. The only thing you've done here is you've involved a civilian. All right? And, you know, to be honest, this, uh "Dale Carnegie - Pablo Escobar" ruse? I think that that's beneath you. Come on, Del.

Marty Byrde: [to bankers] If I want to put all $7,945,400 into a hot tub get buck naked and play Scrooge McDuck, that is 100% my business. Now, where's my money?

Blue Cat [1.02]

Marty Byrde: A family is like a small business. And with a small business, at times, there comes...

Wendy Byrde: Transition.

Marty Byrde: A bit of a transition. Thank you, Wendy. And whenever a small business transitions, it's important to stay lean and to not overextend.

Charlotte Byrde: So when did the Marriott become such a stretch?

Wendy Byrde: No, your father, he's just saying we have to prioritize our spending. That's all, Charlotte. That's all.

Marty Byrde: [pondering out loud] Why does she get so many texts every night? Why does she have to leave the room to make a call? I wonder who's fucking my wife? So that's my bad. And, no, I, I don't forget Gary. I don't forget how you emptied our bank accounts when you knew I needed that money, Wendy. You knew I needed it. And I doubt very, very much that you did that by yourself, that you did that in a vacuum. So my memory's crystal clear. I was there. For all of it. In fact, the satisfying sound of your lover smacking the pavement is the only thing that gets me to sleep every night. Open the goddamn door!

[Wendy slaps then punches him]

Records Clerk: Tell me again what it is you're doin'.

Marty Byrde: I am an angel investor. I help turn around struggling businesses.

Records Clerk: You intend to make money off of businesses that aren't making any?

Marty Byrde: In a roundabout way.

Wyatt Langmore: [holding out a bible] Manager wanted me to make sure you still had one of these in your room.

Charlotte Byrde: Yeah, we're all set.

Wyatt Langmore: Sure? It's chock-full of, uh clever-sounding, overly-judgmental one-liners.

Charlotte Byrde: Yeah, look, Wyatt, is it? I really don't wanna have to get you fired today, okay?

Wyatt Langmore: Well, if you could, I'd have to thank you. This job's my old man's idea. Something about "calluses and character."

Charlotte Byrde: [pointing at strange man in window of their new home] Who is that?

Wendy Byrde: That is Buddy Dyker.

Charlotte Byrde: Who?

Wendy Byrde: Mr. Dyker will be living in the basement for a year...give or take.

Charlotte Byrde: Mom, what are we doing here?

Wendy Byrde: Your father's laundering money for a Mexican drug cartel. [pause] I shit you not. Hello, Mr. Dyker...

My Dripping Sleep [1.03]

Russ Langmore: A predilection for sour mash doesn't make a man stupid.

Ruth Langmore: Doesn't inspire confidence either.

Russ Langmore: Point taken.

Russ Langmore: You gotta be kidding me.

Ruth Langmore: If I was kidding, I would've said you're witty and handsome.

Marty Byrde: Listen, we need to increase traffic. Um what do we have that no other place does?

Rachel Garrison: Uh, an investor that knows absolutely nothing about the Ozarks.

Ruth Langmore: You know, Wyatt, in our world, it's good to be one of the smart ones. Remember that. Okay?

Roy Petty: Your money's on the table.

Male Prostitute: You got issues, dude.

Roy Petty: So I've been told.

Tonight We Improvise [1.04]

Marty Byrde: [narrating] Okay. Money Laundering 101. Say you come across a suitcase with five million bucks in it. What would you buy? A yacht? A mansion? A sports car? Sorry. The IRS won't let you buy anything of value with it. So you better get that money into the banking system. But here's the problem. That dirty money is too clean. Looks like it just came out of a bank vault. You gotta age it up. Crumple it. Drag it through the dirt. Run it over with your car. Anything to make it look like it's been around the block. Next, you need a cash business. Something pleasant and joyful with books that are easily manipulated. No credit card receipts, etcetera. You mix the five million with the cash from the joyful business. That mixture goes from an American bank to a bank from any country that doesn't have to listen to the IRS. It then goes into a standard checking account and voila. All you need is access to one of over three million terminals, because your work is done. Your money's clean. It's as legitimate as anybody else's.

Marty Byrde: It closed. Forty over asking.

Wendy Byrde: Jonah was born in that house.

Marty Byrde: And Charlotte was born in another one. We sold that, too. You sentimentalize property, you can kiss profits goodbye.

Wendy Byrde: [sighs] I've been thinking about this a lot. And I, I know that we're not in the best...I know that trust isn't at its, you know, zenith.

Marty Byrde: Spit it out, Wendy.

Wendy Byrde: If we were to unsentimentally consider how to protect this little nest egg, for the sake of the kids, given that the Feds have been to our house.

Marty Byrde: Are you saying you wanna put the assets in your name?

Wendy Byrde: Seems like the smart thing to do.

Marty Byrde: That's never gonna happen.

Wendy Byrde: If you get arrested, they can freeze everything.

Marty Byrde: That's not gonna happen, either.

Wendy Byrde: What if I, uh What if we did something with the money? Maybe real estate?

Marty Byrde: Real estate.

Wendy Byrde: As an investment.

Marty Byrde: Wendy, I'm trying to save our fucking lives here, not help your new career.

Jonah Byrde: Does it hurt?

Buddy Dyker: What?

Jonah Byrde: Dying.

Buddy Dyker: [chuckles] Life hurts.

Jonah Byrde: Last year, a 12-year-old kid from my school died. He had cancer.

Buddy Dyker: Well, "We're born astride the grave." [sighs] You know what that means?

Jonah Byrde: No.

Buddy Dyker: Sit down. It means that we're all dying the minute we're born. Goes fast. Don't waste it. Don't waste it.

Camino Del Rio: [on the phone] How's my money, Marty?

Marty Byrde: Um, it's good. Uh, it's better than expected. It's starting to move.

Camino Del Rio: I haven't even seen a million yet. So when you say "It's starting to move," what do you mean, like, it's "Check is in the mail"?

Marty Byrde: Uh, you're gonna have, um, 500 small in 48 hours.

Camino Del Rio: The deal was eight large, okay? This is feeling like a slow trickle.

Marty Byrde: You know, it's not even, uh, Fourth of July.

Camino Del Rio: Ah, American Independence Day.

Marty Byrde: That's right.

Camino Del Rio: You know what else comes in July?

Marty Byrde: Uh, I don't, no.

Camino Del Rio: My birthday. You wanna know what I want for my birthday?

Marty Byrde: No.

Camino Del Rio: I want a good night's sleep a good shit and several million clean from you.

Marty Byrde: I can help with the last.

Camino Del Rio: Just admit it, Marty. You're fucked. We're gonna kill your family, gently, and be done with all this madness.

Marty Byrde: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that.

Camino Del Rio: This is your clinical trial. This is your experiment and, truth be told, I don't like experiments. They constipate me.

Marty Byrde: Just trust me.

Camino Del Rio: No, Marty, I used to trust you. [sighs] Now I don't know.

Wendy Byrde: I've been trying to tell you since yesterday about that half-built house on Sunrise Beach.

Marty Byrde: Mm-hmm. What about it?

Wendy Byrde: Well, I used the money from the Chicago house and I bought it. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can inflate construction costs and launder money through it. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit if you like it or not. 'Cause I feel pretty good about it. It's a good idea, and I did it for our family. What'd you do today - for our family?

Marty Byrde: Bought a strip club.

Ruling Days [1.05]

Buddy Dyker: Don't swim past that red buoy. Boats come out of nowhere, they'll sweep you up in their wake. Take a month to fish out all your tender little bits and pieces. Not that I'd miss you, but if you cost me the last good month of boating in my life, I promise I'll piss on your grave every last day until I die.

Charlotte Byrde: Yeah, well, what makes you think they'd find enough to bury me before you drop dead?

Marty Byrde: Well, obviously, I didn't kill anyone.

Ruth Langmore: I know. If you're a killer, then I'm fucking Snow White. And I don't see any dwarfs around.

Buddy Dyker: [teaching Noah to shoot] Now that's what I love about watermelon. They approximate the water content of a human body. [shoots the watermelon] Not that I advocate that, but... [chuckles]

Jacob Snell: Man cannot tame what God wishes to be wild.

Book of Ruth [1.06]

Russ Langmore: [to Ruth] The fact is, you ain't nothing but a Jheri-curled nancy, just using mind games to fucking buy more time. Fact is we should have never let a little bitch do a man's job.

Wyatt Langmore: You know, they always leave, Charlotte. That's the difference between us and them. And you guess you're one of us now.

Wendy Byrde: Hi, this is Wendy. Leave me a message.

[voicemail beeps]

Marty Byrde: They put up a cross. Jesus fuck! They put up a cross.

Nest Box [1.07]

Charlotte Byrde: I want our old life back.

Wendy Byrde: I'm so sorry. It doesn't exist anymore, sweetheart. We have to stay together as a family.

Charlotte Byrde: I miss my friends.

Wendy Byrde: Your friends are always gonna be your friends, no matter what.

Charlotte Byrde: You don't know that. You made it so that I can't tell them anything. I have to pretend like the worst, scariest, most damaging thing in my life is actually fucking awesome.

Ruth Langmore: They're gonna be fuckin' late on the first day again.

Wyatt Langmore: School's a waste anyway. They read all the wrong shit.

Ruth Langmore: Oh, that'll play great in a job interview.

Mason Young: Peter came to me last night in a dream and told me that this community wants a church.

Marty Byrde: Peter?

Mason Young: Peter, the apostle. The rock on which the church was built.

Marty Byrde: Right.

Mason Young: Well, sewage was so different back then, you know?

Grace Young: We have a child to worry about now.

Mason Young: That God will protect. Just like he did in St. Louis.

Grace Young: Mason...

Mason Young: That bullet was three-tenths of an inch from rupturing my aorta. But it went clean through. That is not a coincidence.

Grace Young: God wasn't protecting you. The kid had shitty aim.

Kaleidoscope [1.08]

[Buddy Holly is singing on the car radio]

Marty Byrde: Here we go. Buddy Holly's a perfect example. Buddy Holly, the day he died, uh...

Wendy Byrde: Yeah, I know, he won a coin flip, or he wouldn't have been on the plane.

Marty Byrde: No, it was actually Valens that won the coin toss. It was Buddy Holly that chartered the plane. Do you wanna know why?

Wendy Byrde: 'Cuz he was tired of riding in shitty buses?

Marty Byrde: No, he was tired of shitty underwear. So he decided that he wanted to get to wherever he was going as quickly as possible, so he could do laundry.

[Wendy Byrde chuckles]

Marty Byrde: It's true.

Wendy Byrde: So you're saying "The Day the Music Died" was because of soiled briefs?

Marty Byrde: Another good example is D-Day. The Nazis knew that we were coming, so they wanted to line the beach with tanks so they could literally blow us out of the water. But Hitler decided that it was a good day for sedatives. So they couldn't wake him up to get the final sign-off for the tanks, and the rest is history.

Wendy Byrde: What the hell are you talking about?

Marty Byrde: I'm talking about decisions.

Wendy Byrde: What, I'm Hitler in this analogy?

Marty Byrde: No.

Wendy Byrde: I would hope not.

Marty Byrde: [chuckles] Uh, I'm just saying that any decision made, big or small, has an impact around the world. It's difficult.

Wendy Byrde: Marty, I just don't need a theoretical analysis right now.

Marty Byrde: I know. I'm just saying this is tough.

Wendy Byrde: I know... Marty, watch out!

[truck hits them]

Bruce Liddell: Marty, you can't blame yourself for what happened.

Marty Byrde: I know.

Bruce Liddell: Do you?

Marty Byrde: Yeah.

Bruce Liddell: I'm serious; there's nothing you could do about it. Like my dad always said, "Everything happens for a reason."

Marty Byrde: Your dad sounds like he was full of shit. With all due respect.

Bruce Liddell: Yeah, well, perhaps.

Marty Byrde: You really believe that? You really think that there's some preordained chart, floating around up in the ether, with our fate all figured out?

Bruce Liddell: I don't know about a preordained chart...

Marty Byrde: That's a bunch of crap. Things happen because human beings make decisions, they commit acts, and that makes things happen. And it creates a snowball effect with the, you know, their world around them, causes other people to make decisions. Cycle continues, snowball keeps rolling. And even when that's not the case, when life's events are not connected to other people's decisions and actions, it's not some bullshit fucking test sent down from the universe to check your resolve, you know.

Bruce Liddell: Okay.

Marty Byrde: I mean, what would the reason be for some healthy five-year-old to get a brain tumor? Or why would a tsunami wipe out a village? You tell those families everything happens for a reason. No, sometimes people make decisions, shit happens, and we gotta act accordingly. Or you can... crawl in a hole and die, you know?

Bruce Liddell: Well, it was a shitty thing for me to say and I'm sorry, bud.

Camino Del Rio: Grab what you can while you can.

Marty Byrde: I, just, uh, you know...

Camino Del Rio: What? The risks?

Marty Byrde: Yes.

Camino Del Rio: Well, I understand, but you only really have to worry about the risks if you are careless or dumb. And you're neither.

Camino Del Rio: [to his bookeeper] You see, the feds were snooping around, which caused you to make some piss-poor attempt to cover your tracks. Which allowed a shrewd person like Marty Byrde to identify your shoddy work and thieving ways. Which then inspires me to pursue Mr. Byrde, and this allows me to dispense with you. Isn't that something, huh? The wonderful convergence between cause and effect, and a bit of good luck. Bad luck in your case, Louis. The universe is a funny, funny place with all of its chaos.

Marty Byrde: [having just witnessed a murder and mutilation] Jesus Christ!

Henchman: [holding up eyeballs] What d'you want me to do with 'em?

Camino Del Rio: Save them for a rainy day. [to Marty] You don't know how wonderful it is to have someone on board that I can trust.

Coffee, Black [1.09]

Wendy Byrde: What, Buddy?

Buddy Dyker: Oh, nothing. I was just thinking, if my ex-wife and I had had it out like that, we might still be together. Anyway the two of you are up to your ballsacks in drama, tell you that.

Marty Byrde: How'd that Sam thing go?

Wendy Byrde: We own a funeral home now.

Marty Byrde: Of course we do.

Wendy Byrde: [about their latest cash influx] Skip wrapping it. Just get it out of sight.

Marty Byrde: No, I can't just stack bills in a wall and call it a day. There's rot, and there's termites, there's rats. First year I did this, Bruce lost 300K in two days to squirrels.

The Toll [1.10]

Sheriff Nix: I passed Martin Byrde on the road coming in. So, what sort of business you have with him?

Jacob Snell: He owes us a debt.

Sheriff Nix: How big?

Jacob Snell: Bigger than yours.

Marty Byrde: You know, by shooting him, you basically signed my death warrant.

Buddy Dyker: Well, remind me, next time, I'll let him kill your family.

Agent Trevor Evans: Are you drunk?

Roy Petty: Nope. I'm enlightened.

Agent Trevor Evans: Del Rio's got a clean sheet. That that's why they use him to travel back and forth. We can't touch him.

Roy Petty: Jesus, what fucking box factory are you working in?

Agent Trevor Evans: The same one that'll take away your badge if you try to make a bust without cause.

Roy Petty: You need to stop worrying about the law.

Agent Trevor Evans: That's a joke, right?

Roy Petty: Right now, the only things that matter are leverage and perception.

Jacob Snell: Legend goes that when they flooded my people out to make way for this lake, they swallowed a church up whole. You can still hear the bell from under the water. Certain people believe it's a sign. A call to worship. Others think it's a sign that someone's gonna die. Today, it was both. Next time, it's up to you.

Charlotte Byrde: Look, I know you're just trying to take us somewhere safe, but that place doesn't exist. I mean, we should at least stay together.

Game Day [2.05]

Wendy Byrde: Well, grow the fuck up, because it's game on. Do you understand?