Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian is a 2009 film about when former night guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institute in order to retrieve Ahkmunrah's tablet, which has been shipped to the museum by mistake. Directed by Shawn Levy and written by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon.

Jedediah

  • [to Kahmunrah] Two words come to mind when I hear you speak: delusional and weirdo. And If I had to pick a third... goofy. Just plain goofy.
  • [to the fleeing Underworld army] Adios, Birdbrains!

General Custer

  • We're Americans. We don't plan, we do!

Kahmunrah

  • [when the tablet doesn't open] I'm afraid Mother and Father might have slightly changed the combination on me.
  • [to Darth Vader] Is that you breathing? Because I can't hear myself think! (Vader is trying to force choke kamunrah) What is this? (Kahmunrah imitates the gesture) You've lost me. Can I give you advice? Just simplify; there's just too much going on. You're evil, you're asthmatic, you're a robot. And what is the cape for? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Sorry. Goodbye.
  • (When his army of the Hawkmen gets wiped out by Lincoln) Well, this is awkward.

Dialogue

Larry: I'm sorry. Last time I checked, I thought we lived in a free country. So...
Brundon: No, we don't.
Larry: No?
Brundon: It's the United States of "Don't Touch That Thing Right in Front of You."
Capone: How come you're wearing a dress?
Kahmunrah: It's not a dress. It's called a tunic. It was the latest fashion 3,000 years ago. Are there any other questions?
Ivan: About this dress, do we have to wear one too?
Kahmunrah: No. I've already explained to Mr. Al Capone. It's not not a dress; it's called a tunic. There's quite a difference.
Larry: You know how you were telling me that the key to happiness was something, but then the sun came up? I think I figured it out. It's doing what you love, with the people you love, isn't it?
Teddy: Well, I was going to say physical exercise, but the love thing's good, too.
Kahmunrah: [defeated by Larry] What are you?
Larry: I'm the nightguard. [pushes Kahmunrah into the Underworld]
Kahmunrah: NO!!
Tuskegee Airman #2: Ma'am, I'd just like to thank you.
Earhart: For what?
Tuskegee Airman #2: Well, a lot of people didn't think we could fly, either. Thanks for clearing the runway. [salutes]
Earhart: Do you know why I became a pilot?
Larry: I have no idea.
Earhart: For the fun of it. Why else would anyone do anything?
[after defeating Kahmunrah]
Custer: The Battle of the Smithsonian. The greatest battle the world will never know.
Larry: We'll know.

Cast

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