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Mad Men (2007 – 2015) is an American television drama created by Matthew Weiner. The show centers around an advertising agency in the 1960s, and its creative director, Don Draper. The show is broadcast in the United States on the AMC network.

Times Zones [7.1]

Freddy: You know, I'm breaking a rule here. I haven't had one of these sausages since I quit. If this makes me have dreams about beer, I'm gonna be mad at you.

[Lee cuddles onto Don's shoulder]

Lee: If I was your wife, I wouldn't like this.

Don: She knows I'm a terrible husband.

Lee: How long have you been married?

Don: Not long enough. I really thought I could do it this time.

Lee: Did she kick you out?

Don: No. She doesn't know that much, but she knows.

Lee: Well, if she doesn't know, you should just keep it that way. That's what people do.

Don: I keep wondering, have I broken the vessel?

Lee: If you did, what can you do about it? It's done. [pause] I bet I could make you feel better.

Don: I bet you could.

Lee: There's a car waiting for me. I could give you a lift.

Don: [pause] I'm sorry, but I have to get back to work.

A Day's Work [7.2]

[Peggy thinks that a bouquet of flowers are for her from Ted]

Peggy: Shirley, I've been thinking about it, and I know it's silly, but could you please throw these flowers away?

Shirley: Why?

Peggy: They're cursed.

Shirley: No, they're not. They're beautiful.

Peggy: Look, I should have bought you flowers, out of respect, not because of some holiday. Are these some symbol of how much we're loved? It's a joke! [she grabs the flowers to throw them away]

Shirley: Please don't.

Peggy: I'll get you some new ones.

Shirley: Please. Those are my flowers. They're from my fiancée.

Peggy: Since when?

Shirley: Since this morning.

Peggy: Why didn't you tell me?

Shirley: You never gave me a chance.

Peggy: I never gave you a chance? They've been sitting there all day! Now you're just embarrassing me!

Shirley: I didn't mean to...

Peggy: You should have never told me! That would have been a great gift. Who cares about your stupid flowers? You know what, you have a ring on. we all know that you're engaged. You did not have to embarrass me. Grow up!

[Sally has just found out that Don is on a "leave of absence" from work]

Don: I was in a pitch meeting, and I told them the truth about me. But it was the wrong time.

Sally: What was the truth?

Don: Nothing you don't know.

Field Trip [7.3]

Megan: I'm not walking out of my own house, so that means you're going to have to leave.

Don: Have you calmed down?

Megan: I'm not kidding around. I want you to call a cab, get on a plane, go home. I don't want you to worry about me anymore.

Don: Stop it.

Megan: Don, it's okay. This is the way it ends. It's going to be so much easier for both of us.

Bobby: [to Betty, about his teacher] She likes you.

Betty: Yes, well, that blouse says she likes everyone.

The Monolith [7.4]

Roger: We've got a computer. It's going to do lots of magical things, like make Harry Crane seem important.

Don: LeaseTech, the company we're leasing the computer from, is a virgin. I think we should prepare a presentation while their guy is here and push 'em over the edge.

Bert: New business.

Don: That whole industry is exploding. The sky has exponential growth.

Bert: Have you forgotten the stipulations?

Don: Fine, tell somebody else. I mean, the apple is right there.

Bert: You have a fundamental misunderstanding of what went wrong here.

Don: So, that's it? You want me to be a janitor? Whistle while I work?

Bert: You thought there was going to be a big creative crisis and we would pull you off the bench, but in fact we've been doing just fine.

Don: So why am I even here? I could have gone anywhere.

Bert: Why are you here?

Don: Because I started this agency!

Bert: Along with a dead man whose office you now inhabit.

Freddy: You know, you never have to have a drink again.

Don: I don't wanna hear that.

Freddy: You're hung over, it's the best time to hear it. Are you just gonna kill yourself? Give them what they want? Or are you gonna go in your room, put on your uniform, fix your bayonet and hit the parade? Do the work, Don.

The Runaways [7.5]

Lou: Don, you've been the boss. The briefcase and the hat? It's a rookie maneuver. You got somewhere you need to be?

Don: I'm afraid I do.

Lou: How's it going to look to the others if I let you go?

Don: You could let everyone go.

Lou: Is that what you would do?

Don: No. I'd let you go, Lou.

Amy: [to Don] You know what would make you feel better? Drugs.

The Strategy [7.6]

Bonnie: [reaching her hand into Pete's pants] Meet me in the ladies' room in 60 seconds.

Pete: [breathlessly] I have always wanted to do that!

[Peggy and Don are brainstorming an ad strategy]

Peggy: Moms love Burger Chef because it's the answer to a crisis. What if mom's coming home from work?

Don: [skeptically] What's her profession?

Peggy: You are surrounded by all kinds of mothers who work, Don.

Don: It's too sad for an ad.

Peggy: Fine. She burned the roast, she dented the fender...

Don: Keep going.

Peggy: She backed over the dog, little Katie's pregnant, Bobby got drafted, but there's still a burger and fries on the table.

Waterloo [7.7]

Bert: No man has ever come back from leave, not even Napoleon.

Don: How did you get in here?

Roger: Money.

Don: No.

Roger: May I speak with you? ... What's going on? You got this letter this morning and it's very upsetting news.

Don: Are they firing you?

Sterling: I don't know.

Don: What does that mean, "breach of contract"? They are either firing you, or not. This is coming from the agency's attorney.

Sterling: Why didn't they call me?? -- Look at you.

Don: Isn't this something? [Talking about the moon landing]

Sally: I guess.

Don: So you're unimpressed?

Sally: It's such a waste of money.

Don: You don't really think that, do you?

Sally: We'll be going there all the time while people go hungry down here.

Don: Don't be so cynical. You want your little brothers to talk that way?

Sally: [thinks] No.

Severance [7.8]

Pete: I've secured Birdseye. I think Ferguson Donnelly is one happy man.

Roger: More like a man-and-a-half. As my father would say, he really puts the "Mick" in "McCann".

Ken: Roger, I just wanted to let you know I won't be collecting severance.

Roger: You got another job? Good for you. But you're still entitled.

Ken: It wouldn't be right. My signing bonus from Dow is so big it feels like a second helping.

Roger: What the hell are you talking about?

Ken: See, I wasn't just Ed's son-in-law. They actually value their relationships.

Roger: Well, I suppose they need a guy in fertilizer.

Ken: I'm taking Tom Schaeffer's old post. Head of Advertising.

Pete: So, you're going to fire us.

Ken: No, it's going to be way worse than that. I'm going to be your client. And I hate to tell you, but I'm very hard to please. Until we meet again. [leaves]

Pete: Shit.

New Business [7.9]

Meredith: How do you go to sleep at night with those Manson Brothers running around?

Harry: ...Manson Family.

Rich Torkelson: Gentlemen, I'll be strict, but this is Torkelson's Law: You got your models, you got your bottles. If you can make it to lunch without bothering anyone, we'll let you have whichever you want.

The Forecast [7.10]

[Don is doing Peggy's performance review]

Don: What do you see for the future?

Peggy: Well, ah... is that on there?

Don: No. I'm just curious.

Peggy: I'd like to be the first woman creative director at this agency. [Don smiles] Is that funny to you?

Don: No, I'm impressed that you know exactly.

Peggy: What else is there?

Don: That's what I'm asking. Let's say you get that. What's next?

Peggy: Land something huge. Create a catchphrase.

Don: So you want fame.

Peggy: Yes.

Don: What else?

Peggy: I don't know.

Don: Yes you do.

Peggy: Create something of lasting value.

Don: [chuckles] In advertising.

Peggy: This is supposed to be about my job, not the meaning of life.

Don: So, you think those things are unrelated?

Peggy: [stands up] I didn't know you'd be in a mood.

Don: Do you want me to do this or not?

Peggy: Why don't you just write down all of your dreams, so I can shit on them? [leaves]

Don: [to Sally] You're a very beautiful girl. It's up to you to be more than that.

Time & Life [7.11]

Don: How do I describe California in a way that doesn't make them jealous?

Ted: Tell them my ex-wife lives there.

Pete: I just talked Secor Laxatives into joining us.

[Don smirks]

Roger: Do you want to?

Don: Were they difficult to move?

Pete: The thing to do is not make that joke.

Roger: No more Sterling Cooper, and no more Sterlings. Margaret is the only daughter of an only son of an only son.

Lost Horizon [7.12]

[Don is hallucinating that Bert Cooper is in his car]

Don: I must be tired.

Bert: You've been driving for 7 hours... in the wrong direction. Where are you going?

Don: Racine, Wisconsin.

Bert: What's in Wisconsin? Some waitress who doesn't care about you? Don't do that.

Don: That's not going to stop me.

Bert: You like to play the stranger.

Don: Remember On the Road?

Bert: I've never read that book. You know that.

Don: I'm riding the rails.

Peggy: What are you doing here?

Roger: I told Caroline I wanted to pack my personal things. Which I will eventually do, once I figure out why she thought my bar wasn't personal.

Peggy: Did you try Don's office?

Roger: All I found was lighter fluid. I'm not there yet.

Peggy: We had our drink. You clearly don't need help. You need an audience.

Roger: McCann made you wait. You can make them wait.

Peggy: I'm not enjoying this. [He holds up painting] Oh, my God. What is that?

Roger: It's an octopus pleasuring a lady.

The Milk and Honey Route [7.13]

Betty: [to Sally about her cancer diagnosis] Henry shouldn't have scared you. I wanted to tell you myself.

Sally: He doesn't know you won't get treatment because you love the tragedy.

Betty: Sally, I've learned to believe people when they tell you it's over. They don't want to say it, so it's usually the truth.

Sally: Henry says you could have a year.

Betty: And what would that year be like?

Sally: I'll be with you. I won't let you give up!

Betty: I know that. But I watched my mother die. I won't do that to you. And I don't want you to think I'm a quitter. I've fought for plenty in my life. That's how I know it's over. It's not a weakness. It's been a gift to me. To know when to move on.

Pete: I was offered a job tonight. Because its origins were supernatural, I realize its benefits might be as well. I want you and Tammy to come with me. I want you to relocate to Wichita, pick out a house, and be my wife and family again.

Trudy: Peter, I'm not dismissing you, I'm just saying, with respect to whatever is happening with your eyes right now, that we both know the past can't be undone.

Pete: Says who? We're not even through half our lives. Even if we are, we're entitled to more!

Trudy: Of what?

Pete: [pause] Then we're entitled to something new. I wanna start over, and I know I can! I'm not so dumb anymore. I'm not ignoring the fact that I could lose your love.

Trudy: [gently] You never lost it. But I will not allow you to hurt me again.

Pete: [smiles] I love you, too.

Trudy: You think you can just come in here when I'm all disoriented and say the things I wanted you to say 2 years ago, and I'll just run away with you?

Pete: I said it to you 10 years ago, and I'm saying it now: I do.

Betty: [in her letter to Sally] I used to worry about you because you marched to your own drummer. But now I realize that's a good thing. You life will be an adventure. I love you. Mom.

Person to Person [7.14]

Joan: [after trying cocaine] Ooh, that's fast! I feel like someone just gave me some very good news.

Marie: [in French] What will I do when you disappear? I'll starve! I'll be walking the streets of Manhattan with a tiny suitcase and a dollar in my pocket!

Roger: All I got was "suitcase". Yell at me slower, or in English.

Don: I messed everything up. I'm not the man you think I am.

Peggy: Don, listen to me. What did you ever do that was so bad?

Don: I broke all my vows. I scandalized my child. I took another man's name and made nothing of it.

Peggy: That's not true.

Don: I only called because I realized I never said goodbye to you.

Leonard: My name's Leonard, and, uh, I don't know if there's anything that complicated about me. Which is why I should be happier, I guess.

Vince: Do you remember what I said to Daniel about 'should'?

Leonard: Well, it's good for him. He's interesting. But I've never been interesting to anybody. I, um, I work in an office. People walk right by me, I know they don't see me. And I go home and I watch my wife and my kids. They don't look up when I sit down.

Vince: How does it feel to say that?

Leonard: I don't know. It's like no one cares that I'm gone. They should love me. Maybe they do, but I don't even know what it is. You spend your whole life thinking you're not getting it, people aren't giving it to you. Then you realize they're trying. And you don't even know what it is. I had a dream I was on a shelf in the refrigerator. Someone closes the door and the light goes off. And I know everybody's out there eating. And then they open the door and you see them smiling and they're happy to see you. But maybe they don't look right at you and maybe they don't pick you. Then the door closes again. The light goes off.

[Leonard breaks down crying. Don walks across the room, hugs Leonard, and cries with him]