The following is a list of quotes for the fourth season Johnny Test.

Johnny's New Baby Sisters

[Babies start crying, with stink lines coming from the kitchen]

Gill:: Johnny! The babies--they smell really, really bad, kind of like anal beads!

Johnny:: And that's why you need to change...their diapers!

[Johnny pulls out a clean diaper and gives it to Gill.]

[Gill faints from the smell]

[Babies are on the table, crying, with stink lines coming from their diapers]

Johnny:: (to Dukey) You gotta change them.

Papa Johnny

Johnny: You wouldn't last a day in my shoes.

Dad: YOU COULDN'T LAST AN HOUR IN MINE!!!!!

Dad: Being stuffed into my own locker by Bumper is still better than toilet plunging.

[A long while after Dad and Johnny swap brains.]

Johnny: I can't take it. Dad wins! I just want my horrible childhood back!

Dad: And I want my awful life back!

Johnny: I'm so sorry, Dad! And, I love you, man.

Dad: I love you too, son. And Bumper's coming here to kick your butt. I mean my butt. I mean HELP!

[When Johnny (in Dad's body) is about to shoot Bumper with a marshmallow shooter loaded with sprouts.]

Johnny: You leave me... ahem... I mean, my son alone!

Bumper: Are those Brussels sprouts?

Johnny: Boiled. No butter, no salt.

Mom: You switched their bodies?!

Susan: No! We switched their brains.

Mom: Oh. WELL, SWITCH THEM BACK!

99 Deeds of Johnny Test

Principal: Johnny, here's what I'm thinking...

Johnny: Please, don't give me a detention! My Dad'll send me to military school! That means uniforms! Atomic wedgies!... Awkward pauses!

Principal: I like you, Johnny.

Johnny: So I'm free to go?

Principal: No. But I'm gonna cut you a deal. If you perform 99 good deeds to make up for your 99 bad deeds, I'll forget every one of your detentions and erase them from your permanent record.

Johnny: Couldn't I just write something on the chalkboard a zillion time like 'I promise not to blabeddy, blah, blah, blah.' Huh? (smiles hopefully, but the principal shakes his head.) 99 good deeds it is!

Principal: And no cheating. Remember, I'm the principal. I know everything!

[Johnny tries to help an old lady cross the road. He takes her arm.]

Johnny: Hello, Ma'am. May I assist you?

Old Lady: Oh, I get it. I'm an old lady. Well, I'm also independent, lonely, but independent. BACK OFF!

Johnny: Yeah? You forgot CRAZY!

Johnny: WHAT D'YOU MEAN NONE OF MY GOOD DEEDS COUNT?!!

Principal: Solving a problem that you create is NOT a good deed. Returning the wallet was a good deed, but your dog swiped it. And giving someone their I.B. bag back is nice, but your dog shouldn't have taken it in the first place.

Johnny: Um... how did you know it was my dog?

Principal: I know everything. Plus, I have access to the city's traffic surveillance system.

Johnny: Wow. I look so guilty on camera.

Johnny's New BFF

Mom: You need a best friend, mister!

Johnny: I have a best friend, ok! A best friend who plays catch with me outside, skateboards with me and eats my table scraps. Dukey.

Dad: Dukey, is a great dog, son. But... you need to talk to someone other than yourself.

Johnny: (to Dukey) Say 'hi'. Go on, say it. Say it before they destroy me with friends!

Mom: Johnny, dogs don't talk.

[Johnny gives a gesture for Dukey to speak.]

Dukey: [Standing on his hind legs] I talk. Yeah, I'm like a really great dog. (Laughs, and Mom and Dad faint.)

Dukey: I've been dying to say that if you really want to increase sales you need to establish better relationships with your clients.

Mom: That makes sense.

Dukey: And Dad, your meatloaf is overcooked. Lower the temperature to 415, cook with foil on top for the last ten minutes and it's missing cumin and barbecue sauce.

Dad: He's right. By golly, he's right!

[When Johnny gathers the friends Mom and Dad tried to get him to play with to help him.]

Bumper: Why am I helping you? I should be beating you up!

Johnny: Because I need someone who can scare people. And Bumper, you are amazing at scaring people!

Bumper: You... you think I'm amazing? (tearfully) Nobody's ever said that to me. (Hugging him) I am so there for you, buddy!

Sissy: What do we do now, Test?

Johnny: Well... what do friends do?

Bumper: Er... I think they play Tag.

Johnny's Big Sisters' Smackdown

[After Susan and Mary are too scared to ask Gil out on a date.]

Johnny: You guys are pathetic!

Dukey: No, totally pathetic!

Susan: We know.

Johnny: You know, the only thing missing is my dad telling me that I have to have them back to normal by dinner or I'm in big trouble and- he's standing right behind me, isn't he?

(Dukey nods nervously and Johnny turns around.)

Johnny: I'd like to start this conversation with; I didn't do it.

Dad: I don't know what "it" is, Johnny, but you better have Susan and Mary home and normal by dinner or you're in big trouble, BIG!

King Johnny

[When explaining to Johnny about the King's Madness.]

Susan: People go looney when they get power.

Mary: It happened to George III, Henry VIII and Napoleon. And he was short and crazy just like you.

Susan: You'll get the power, enjoy it way too much and try and take over Europe. So forget it!

Johnny: Europe? I'm not gonna take over Europe today.

Susan: I knew I was gonna regret this.

Johnny: And now my chess army... LET'S TAKE OVER EUROPE!

Johnny: Way to go, my army! We have captured Spain, and their flan!

Dukey: Freeze, King Johnny! Your reign and this game are over!

Johnny: I say when the game is over and PAWNS ATTACK!

[When Agents Black and White try and storm the Toy Castle Johnny has taken over.]

Black: Attention, crazy person!

White: Come out with your royal hands up or massive force will be... used... on... you...

(They notice Susan, Mary and Dukey.)

Black: Oh, for the love of... is that Johnny in there?

Susan, Mary & Dukey: Yep.

White: Why can't you guys be like normal kids and play board games?

Dukey: That's kind of what we're doing. (Laughs.)

Johnny: You think you can stop me?! The king with your blasters?!

Dukey: Actually we're gonna use the turbo soaker. Check and mate!

[Shoots cold water at Johnny. He splutters and shakes his head.]

Johnny: Who? What? Where? What happened?

Dukey: You went crazy with the King Madness and took over the Toy Castle.

Johnny: Did we have fun?

Susan & Mary: We had a blast!

Johnny Re-Animated

[When cartoon characters Dawg and Bone enter the real world.]

Johnny: OW! You hit us with frying pans!

Dawg: Since when does that hurt? [He and Bone hit each other with frying pans and their faces are completely flat. They shake their heads and they return to normal.] That is always funizle!

Dukey: Oh, no. They're from a squash and stretch cartoon!

Johnny: And that means?

Dukey: They can't get hurt in our world, but we can!

[When Dawg and Bone are about to be blown up with dynamite.]

Dawg: This is a new one.

[Johnny and Dukey hit Dawg and Bone with frying pans to which onlookers laugh.]

Woman: Hey, that was kinda funny!

[Dawg and Bone shake their heads to return normal and then pull out large laser guns.]

Woman: Not funny anymore! Run!

[When Johnny, Dukey, Susan and Mary enter the cartoon world.]

Dukey: And you still don't see anything familiar about this cartoon?

Johnny: Nope. Ok, Dawg. Do it!

Dawg: You got it, Johnny.

[He and Bone hit Johnny and Dukey with frying pans and their faces are completely flat.]

Johnny & Dukey: Awesome!

Johnny X Strikes Back Again!

[When Johnny and Dukey are mutated back into Johnny X and Super Pooch. Dukey opens his mouth furiously.]

Johnny: If you don't have anything nice or encouraging to say, then don't say anything.

[Dukey covers his mouth resignedly.]

Johnny: Good boy. Now, to Pork Belly!

Johnny: What do these mutant dorks look like anyway?

[An explosion blasts away part of Johnny's room, revealing two mutant agent robots.]

General: They look like that. Oh, and the capes were their idea, not mine.

Johnny: Knock, knock?

Super Mutant: Who's there?

Johnny: Super Duper Power Poots!

Super Mutant: Oh, crud!

Johnny: Ok, everyone say "Power Poots!"

Everyone: POWER POOTS!!!

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