Episode One [1.01]

Elsie: [about Chef Ramsay] He's like the Simon Cowell of the kitchen.

Jessica Cabo: He's way worse than Simon Cowell.

Narrator: The time has come for the competitors' first encounter with Chef Ramsay and his legendary high standards. They have no idea what they're in for.

[Signature dishes]

Gordon: I'm Gordon Ramsay, welcome to Hell's Kitchen. (on Andrew's dish) Whose is this?

Andrew Bonito: Andrew, Chef Ramsay.

Gordon: Andrew, step forward. And what is it?

Andrew Bonito: It's called Andrew's Absolute Penne.

Gordon: Andrew's Absolute Penne.

Andrew Bonito: Correct.

Gordon: [takes a taste of the dish and spits it out] That... is absolute dog shit. Have a little taste.

Andrew Bonito: [tastes the dish] Could use some salt.

Gordon: You think you're smart, do you?

Andrew Bonito: I have my moments.

Gordon: And how long have you been cooking?

Andrew Bonito: About ten years.

Gordon: What a waste of ten years. Get back in fucking line.

Gordon: You knew I was coming. (on Jimmy's dish) Whose is that?

Jimmy Casey: Jimmy.

Gordon: Step forward, big boy. And just explain to me what it is?

Jimmy Casey: Pan-seared chicken breast stuffed with portobello mushroom and goat cheese.

Gordon: [holding Jimmy's dish] It looks like a dehydrated camel's turd.

Jimmy Casey: Yes, sir.

Gordon: What's all that on the side, here?

Jimmy Casey: That's the tops of the carrot.

Gordon: Taste them.

Jimmy Casey: [tastes the dish] Quite bitter.

Gordon: Quite bitter? I guess you want me to eat that. Hold out your hands. [throws part of Jimmy's dish with a fork] There you go. All right, stand back. [tastes Jimmy's dish] Excuse me. [spits it out] It's dry, overcooked on the outside, raw on the inside. Back in line.

Gordon: [After tasting Ralph's dish] And what position are you?

Ralph: I'm the number one.

Gordon: You're the number one? With that shit? Back in line.

Gordon: First name?

Dewberry: Dewberry.

Gordon: Blueberry?

Dewberry: Dewberry.

Gordon: Oh, DEWberry. Bloody hell, I'm not sure which is worse.

[Ralph hands Gordon the first ticket of the night]

Gordon: [to Ralph] Now disappear.

Ralph: Yes, Chef.

Gordon: Blue Kitchen, on order four covers table 22 one risotto, two spaghetti, one soup, no cheese

Michael Wray: Yes, Chef.

[The other four stand there and say nothing]

Gordon: That was pathetic! That was absolutely pathetic! I call out the first ticket, the big excitement and you stand there like five wimps. Five bloody wimps, I'll start again: four covers table 22. One risotto, two spaghetti, one soup, no cheese.

Blue Team: Yes, Chef.

Narrator: Now the red kitchen's first entrées are about to go out. All that's left is a piece of salmon from the most experienced chef on the red team.

Gordon: Chris.

Chris North: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Come here. You're an executive chef, right?

Chris North: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Yeah? What do you think of that?

Chris North: It's a little fucked up, chef.

Gordon: [shoves the fish onto Chris' chest] There you go. Sorry. I told you fucking earlier, hello? And you knew it's fucked up.

Chris North: You're right, chef.

Gordon: Yeah? And an executive chef doesn't serve shit like that, do they?

Chris North: I apologize, chef.

Gordon: No, no, you apologise. Don't you DO it again! Okay?

Chris North: I'll start it again, chef. (interview) I haven't gotten where I am today without having skills. I think Gordon recognizing talent is going to come with time.

Gordon: Send the whole fucking table back. The executive chef has just sent me an overcooked piece of shit. (interview) Chris has a huge chip on his shoulder. He's an executive chef which basically means you sit on your arse all day long. And clearly he's been doing that for the last ten years.

[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Jimmy]

Gordon: Jimmy, come here. [shows to Jimmy that the lamb was mangled] What have you done to that? Does that look good to you?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: So if it doesn't look good to you, why are you serving it to me? That looks like a dog dinner. And you want me to serve that in there? And you want to walk away winning a restaurant?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: [dumps the lamb onto Jimmy's whites] Fuck yourself. Get it in the bin. Get that shit out of there. How can you do that? What do we talk about standards? What do we say about if it's not right...?

Jimmy: If it doesn't look right, it doesn't go out.

Gordon: So you want that to go out?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: Is that your best shot?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: And what are you going to think of me tomorrow morning if you watched me serve that? You're going to think I'm the biggest arsehole in America. Aren't you?

Jimmy: Yes, chef.

Gordon: And you expect me to serve that?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, for as long as I'm alive, big boy, I'm never going to serve that shit! (interview) My reputation's on the line. And I didn't come to America to look second-best. (to Jimmy) Start it again!

Andrew Bonito: How does this look, Chef Ramsay?

Gordon: What do you mean, "How does this look?" Hey, Andrew, get out the habit - come here, you. I'm not going to run to you, I'm trying to run the hotplate here. So would you be so kind to come and talk to me. Is that clear?

Andrew Bonito: (interview) I firmly believe that Chef Ramsay just doesn't like me.

Andrew Bonito: Is this acceptable, chef?

Gordon: Yeah, listen to me, did you hear my fucking question?!

Andrew Bonito: Yes.

Gordon: Answer it! Okay?

Andrew Bonito: Yes.

Gordon: Good! Now what are you saying?

Andrew Bonito: I'm asking if this looks acceptable.

Gordon: Right, get it on the hotplate.

Andrew Bonito: (interview) You - you want to pick on me? Pick on me, I don't give a shit!

Gordon: And you think every time you want to ask me a question, fat fuck, that I'm going to go down there and run to you while I'm trying to run a kitchen. You fucking come to me. Is that clear?

Andrew Bonito: Yes, it is, chef.

Gordon: Good! Now what was the question?

Andrew Bonito: Is this acceptable to you?

Gordon: I'll let you know. Now fuck off. (interview) Andrew, he likes to learn the hard way. Kitchens are run on emotions. I may get upset, but the most important thing is, it's not personal.

Lady: Chef? Mr. Chef?

Gordon: Yes, ladies?

Lady: You hurt my friend's feelings.

Gordon: I hurt your friend's feelings?

Lady: Yes, she's very upset.

Gordon: Why?

Lady: Because you told her to fuck off.

Gordon: Oh, really? Did I?

Lady: Yeah, you did.

Gordon: Could you tell her that I meant it?

Lady: Yeah, I'll tell her.

Gordon: Jean-Philippe, s'il vous plaît? Can you please escort these bimboes back to plastic surgery?

[After a dismal opening night, Chef Ramsay has had it]

Gordon: Blue team, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. Forget it. [crosses over to the red kitchen] Red team?

Red team: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Switch it off. I'm shutting down the kitchen. I'm so pissed off, I'm not prepared to see any more shit food coming out. SHUT IT DOWN!

Gordon: Jeff, your performance as a waiter? Nobody liked you. In fact, two out of three of your tables walked out early.

Jeff: It was just a horrific, horrific experience.

Gordon: And you want to win your own restaurant?

Episode Two [1.02]

Gordon: (interview) You can't have the meat standing there or the fish sat there waiting for the vegetables. Why should everything else suffer?

[A man comes up to the hot plate]

Gordon: You're waiting on a wellington and one bass, yes? Well I'm deeply, deeply, deeply sorry, but right now we're about seven tables behind.

Man: That doesn't do much for me.

Gordon: Yeah, right. Can I just say you do fuck all for me either.

Man: Sorry?

Gordon: You do nothing for me either.

Man: I just don't understand why it's so difficult to serve some people their food.

Gordon: Are you that arrogant you haven't got a clue of what's going on behind me?

Man: It seems like you have a lot of amateur sous chefs.

Gordon: Right. Finally your head's coming outside your arsehole. Now sit down, you fucking dick. What an arsehole!

Narrator: Nothing upsets Chef Ramsay more than when customers come to the kitchen.

Gordon: Away now, two cod, two wellington. (gets no response from Dewberry) Away now, two cod, two wellington.

Dewberry: Yes, chef.

Gordon: How long?

Dewberry: 12 minutes.

Gordon: 12 minutes? Show me your wellington's rested.

Dewberry: I have no idea.

Gordon: What?!

Dewberry: I have no idea, I am so confused.

Gordon: Oh, my god! You don't care any more do you?

Dewberry: At this point, no I don't.

Gordon: You're not interested any more?

Dewberry: No.

Gordon: No, you can't cut it?

Dewberry: No I can't.

Gordon: You're useless, you know that?

Dewberry: I am. Goodbye! [starts to leave]

Gordon: Goodbye. That's it?

Chris: Dewberry!

Jeff: Dewberry! Come on!

[Dewberry sees Elsie, and then stops by the door]

Dewberry: (interview) When I got ready to leave and I saw the look on Elsie's face, I knew I couldn't walk out.

Dewberry: [coming back] Sorry, chef. I'm confused. I don't know what I'm doing.

Gordon: Thank you for coming back. You never -- hello? Desert your section again! You understand?

Dewberry: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You stand there like a man and you face it!

Dewberry: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Because I'm standing in front of customers taking shit because of you!

Dewberry: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Get on your section and get those wellingtons out.

Dewberry: Yes, chef.

Dewberry: (interview) He was trying to get me to understand what the shortcomings were and about staying with the team and he was trying to get me to be I guess better than I am evidently. [sheds a tear]

Gordon: He hasn't cooked anything because he's standing there. Now he wants to run back to his mummy.

Narrator: After pizza was delivered and his maître d' was assaulted, Chef Ramsay has seen enough.

Gordon: Red team, shut the place down and clean down, yeah?

Red team: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Last table, shut it down. Everything off, yes? Stoves off, turn it off.

Gordon: Red team, three quarters of your diners really enjoyed the appetisers... but nearly half your diners didn't receive their main course. In fact - and this is a real first for me - one of your tables was so frustrated, they phoned for a fucking pizza. And guess what? They ate it! And the main course still hadn't come out! That is one not to forget.

Gordon: Dewberry, You're going home for one simple reason. You're a coward. You turned your back on your team after you screwed them.

Episode Three [1.03]

Gordon: Why's the spaghetti not in there yet?

Wendy Liu: The water's not at a rolling boil.

Gordon: Not boiling? Did you top it up with cold water?

Wendy Liu: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Why did you put cold water in there?

Wendy Liu: I thought that cold water was supposed to boil faster than hot water.

Gordon: What?!

Gordon: Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!

(Michael steps in and splits the spaghetti lobster for Jeff)

Narrator: Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.

Maryann: (to Jeff) Say "Thank you Mike." Say "Thank you Mike."

Jeff: Thank you Mike. (under his breath) They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.

Maryann: Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?

Jeff: What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a FUCKING line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!

Chris North: Jeff, Jeff!

Maryann: Are you fucking talking to me, right now?! Are you?

Gordon: Whoa, whoa! What is going on?

Jeff: I'm trying the best I can!

Gordon: Come here, you!

Jeff: I'm doing the best I can, but I've never been on a line before! I'm doing the best I can!

Gordon: Alright, stop shouting. Stop shouting. What are we waiting on?

Jeff: I'm working on that spaghetti right now.

Gordon: Alright, then. Move your arse, and get it done! Dear, oh dear...

Chris North: Jeff, we're gonna help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

[Jeff has been struggling throughout dinner service]

Chris North: Jeff, you heard that (last order)?

Jeff: No, I'm done man. I'm finished.

Chris North: No you're not! Come back, Jeff!

Gordon: Are you going to go then? Are you going to run?

Jeff: No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.

Gordon: Oh really. Why?

Jeff: Because I'm not a quitter.

Gordon: You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]

Jeff: (under his breath) You're an asshole.

Maryann: What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!

Gordon: Come here. What did you say?

Jeff: If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole!

Chris North: That's not cool, Jeff.

Gordon: Unbelievable.

Chris North: That is not fucking cool.

Jeff: [takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit!

Gordon: Jeff, well, I had to laugh at the end when he called me an asshole. I've been called far worse than that! Wendy, well, you know it's about time I put you out of your misery.

Episode Four [1.04]

Episode Five [1.05]

Episode Six [1.06]

[During the tasting challenge]

Gordon: Andrew, can you hear me, you jumped-up little politician, can you hear me? [contestants chuckle] Oh good, that's working. Jimmy, what's it like to be slim? He definitely can't hear me.

[Later]:

Gordon: Jimmy, don't eat my fingers.

Andrew Bonito: Feels like chicken, tastes like chicken...

Gordon: So, what is it?

Andrew Bonito: Chicken.

Jimmy: It tasted like a meat tortellini with a bit of sweated onions in the background.

Gordon: Jesus Christ! [Gordon doubles over, contestants chuckle] That was chicken, you twat!

Jimmy: Uh, okay

Elsie: Tortellini, where in the fuck does he get tortellini from?

[During the tasting of sweetbreads]

Michael Wray: It's something awful man, something from a cow that I shouldn't be eating. It tastes like a brain or something like that. I don't know. [Gordon laughs]

[The Blue team's storeroom has been locked for tonight's service. Once they unlock it and take the chickens out, Andrew tries to tape the latch of the door right when Scott passes by.]

Scott Leibfried: What are you doing? Get that fucking tape off of there. Now get the fuck back in there! You think I'm fucking stupid?! I'm not stupid like you. Come here. You fucking guys fuck it up, and you get a punishment you don't fucking break it so it works for you. You blew it, pay the consequences! Got it?

Andrew Bonito: Yes, chef.

Scott Leibfried: Why don't you try being as serious as these people are on your team instead of being a jerk? [takes the chickens back into the storeroom]

Ralph: Chef, I'm going to break those down right now.

Scott Leibfried: No you're not, because Andrew just ruined it for you because he was taping the door. When you need them you got to come in here and get one.

[Ralph and Andrew are up for elimination]

Gordon: You know, from the first day I met you, Andrew, you're not the kind of arrogant, big-headed little twat that likes to be steamrollered. Now you're telling me that Ralph manipulated your dish into becoming a poached halibut?

Andrew Bonito: Chef it's, uh, like I said--

Gordon: Andrew, give me your jacket.

Episode Seven [1.07]

Gordon: Jimmy, You won the challenge yesterday. You get to decide the person who will be serving the Caesar Salad and Fruit Flambé tableside.

Jimmy: Jesus.

Gordon: What's that? He didn't make it to the final five.

Jimmy: I'm going to go with Elsie because she came in second in the challenge yesterday.

Gordon: (to Jimmy) Why are you putting that salt on there, why are you putting chicken stock on there?

Jimmy: It's uh, fish, chef.

Gordon: Why are you putting that over there like that?

Jimmy: It - it's not - it doesn't -

Gordon: I saw you over there, I saw you going -

Jimmy: I did do it -

Gordon: Hey, hey, listen, listen. Don't fucking start shouting your fat mouth at me. Hey - hey look at me. So I'm asking you why you're putting the fucking fish stock on a fucking risotto! GET IT OFF! (as he does) Because I think it's a bit bizarre that you finished it and you get a ladle of fish stock like that and you put over the risotto! So I'm asking you and you refuse to tell me! THEN, you will open your fat fucking mouth! So why is it on there?

Jimmy: I'm sorry, chef.

Gordon: Jess - while you want to give a big attitude, I've got to go back out there and fucking tell him, unfold your fucking arms - right now - and don't dare start getting fucking chippy or lippy or fucking pissy with me.

Jessica Cabo: I'm not, chef.

Gordon: We've got a massive problem now, and we've got no fucking fillet steak.

Jessica Cabo: Okay.

Gordon: I've got twenty seven on order - how many of you got?

Jessica Cabo: I... listen, I'm trying to start work with them back there -

Gordon: HOW MANY HAVE YOU GOT?

Jessica Cabo: Two!

Gordon: Two! I hope you're fucking joking! Can I send this food here? Get back on your section and talk to me.

Jessica Cabo: All right then! (raising her arms)

Gordon: Ey Hello! What's this (repeat what she did) Get Back on your section!

Gordon: Why isn't the fish in the pan? (no answer from Jimmy) Why isn't the fish--

Jimmy: I'M TRYING TO FUCKING DO BOTH at the same time, what do you want me to do?!

Gordon: Come here you, come here you.

Jimmy: No!

Gordon: What do you mean no?

Jimmy: I'm trying to do both at the same time.

Gordon: Just calm down. Just calm fucking down.

Jimmy: I'm trying to do both at the same time.

Gordon: Are you about to crack?

Jimmy: No.

Gordon: Don't fucking shout at me. What are you going to do?

Jimmy: I'm going to stay and finish.

Gordon: Calm down - while I'm standing here pissed off - what about those fucking customers there then?

Jimmy: I'm trying for them.

Gordon: Right. Talk to me properly or fuck off! Is that clear?

Jimmy: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Right. Is the fish in the pan?

Jimmy: No, chef.

Gordon: Get it in the pan!

Jimmy: Yes.

Gordon: [sees Jessica's pan catching fire] Oh, fuck's sake! Jessica, what are you doing? Shut it down, yes? (the remaining chefs groan) Yeah, and I'm going to tell you why I'm going to shut it down, okay? Because two individuals let me down here tonight, you (Jimmy) were one of them and you (Jessica) were the other one. And you think that is bad, I'll tell you what, if you'll ever going to to make it. You'll have to take a lot more pressure than that. Shut it down. (to Jean-Philippe) Tell the customers, I'm closing the place down.

Episode Eight [1.08]

Gordon: [Jean-Philippe enters the kitchen] Right. Hello! Come here now, yeah? Yes Elsie, you're pissed off, you should see what's going through my mind right now. (to Jean-Philippe) How many tables have walked out?

Jean-Philippe: Two tables chef.

Gordon: I'm not going to agonise the pain any longer and if you think I'm going to stand here for the next hour, busting a gut, to get the filet, to get the halibut, then to get the veg, then to get the chicken without the sauce, then to get the sauce without the chicken, BANG! I've had enough! Shut it down!

Episode Nine [1.09]

Gordon: (on making a soufflé) When they work, it's a dream come true. But when they don't work, it's a huge disappointment.

Ralph: (interview) When we saw these last five tickets counted down. It was like the countdown to the new millenium.

[Michael is on the pass on Chef Ramsay's leadership test]

Gordon: (interview) Michael, he hadn't said anything to any of his team, then all of a sudden he put his head down and he turned 'round at them and said:

Michael Wray: You guys cook like old people fuck.

Gordon: (interview) And I thought, "My God! That came out of the blue." You know, I wouldn't expect something like that to come out of his mouth!

Scott Leibfried: Yes, chef!

Maryann: Thank you, chef.

[Chef Ramsay laughs]

[Michael, Ralph and Jessica have successfully completed dinner service]

Gordon: Okay, well done. Bloody well done. First time ever in Hell's Kitchen, we have completed a fully booked dining room. Starters, mains and desserts. You three did it. [high fives the three chefs] Team, team and team. And last night, none of us had any sleep. 24 hours virtually. And do you know the most important thing about tonight's service? Did you see any food come back?

Michael Wray: No way.

Gordon: No. Did you see any dishes come back? No, nothing. And do you know the most exciting thing for me from a chef's point of view? Every dish looked the same. Spot on. Well done. I am a very proud man.

Episode Ten [1.10] (Two Hour Finale)

[Jean Philippe and Ralph are discussing waitstaff uniforms for Ralph's restaurant.]

Ralph: Men are men and women are women and there's no reason to dress them alike.

Jean-Philippe: No... Do you want the ladies to wear some black panties?

Ralph: Excuse me? Leggings? Uh, panty hose?

Jean Philippe: Mm-hmm, you have to think about those things, I tell you.

Episode One [2.01]

Gordon: Jesus!

Rachel: That's mine, chef. (Step foward) (interview) I am proud of being a redneck. I don't have to be the big dog. But, uhh...I'm not going to let anybody run over me.

Gordon: What is that on there?

Rachel: It's a butterfly shrimp and chocolate sauce.

Gordon: Uh, fucking hell. Get me back to London. And what's all the little bits on the uhh...lemon?

Rachel: Uh, that's a chili pepper. I wouldn't eat it if your mouth is on fire, sir.

Gordon: No, sweetheart. My mouth's fucked. It's not on fire, it's fucked.

Gordon: Fuck me. Who is this?

Polly: It's mine. (Step forward)

Gordon: And, uh... first name?

Polly: Polly.

Gordon: How long you've been cooking?

Polly: Most of my life. (interview) I have had 6 sons, I had them all naturally and if I can endure that, Hell's Kitchen's going to mean nothing for me.

Gordon: And just explain to me what it is, please.

Polly: Um, it's an undone focaccia bread with a garlic dipping oil.

Gordon: Undone, what does that mean? Undone?

Polly: It means it's not done.

Gordon: Oh, so...half-baked? Focaccia bread? (picks up undone focaccia bread and examines it) Oh, my god. Right now, I'd rather eat poodle shit than put that in my mouth.

Gordon: And whose is this?

Maribel: That's mine, chef.

Gordon: And first name?

Maribel: Maribel.

Gordon: Maribel. What is it?

Maribel: It's a Argentine planton soup.

Gordon: (taste the soup and spits it out) I'm so sorry. It's garlicky, it's hot, and it looks like baby vomit.

Maribel: (interview) It was a disaster. He spit it out. (pretends to spit) I don't think it's too spicy, I don't think he takes the spice, he's a wimp when it comes to that.

Virginia: It's my coconut and pomegranate root salad.

Gordon: And what's cooked on the plate?

Virginia: Hmmm.... the nuts are toasted.

Gordon: (sarcastically) The nuts are toasted?

Virginia: Yes.

Gordon: Well fuck me! We've toasted nuts for 29 minutes and then grated a coconut! [tastes her food] It's fine. [Virginia smiles] As far as rabbit food goes because it's all raw and crunchy.

[During prep, Tom is sweating into the boiled tomatoes]

Gordon: Tom!

Tom: Yes, chef?

Gordon: You're sweating in the fucking food! We're in danger of being closed down before we even open. Get it in the bin and start again.

Man: [comes up to the hotplate] Gordon?

Gordon: Let me just serve this table.

Man: Why is there no pumpkin in my risotto?

Gordon: Right, can you get out of the way? One spaghetti, one risotto.

Man: I want the next pumpkin risotto.

Gordon: Oh? Are you always going to be that rude and interrupt when I'm trying to talk?

Man: I just want more pumpkin, that's all I want.

Gordon: Right, well I'll give you more pumpkin and I'll ram it right up your fucking arse. Would you like it whole or diced? Can we get security and get Knob back to the seat please, yes?

Man: I just want pumpkin.

Gordon: This has been open for an hour and a half. We have served fucking zero.

Polly: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I've put more food in the bin tonight than I've ever seen in 10 years!

[With Polly on appetizers, nothing has come out of the red kitchen in 90 minutes. Heather is now on appetizers and has brought them to the pass.]

Gordon: Service, please.

Sara: Yay!!! [Heather tries to shush Sara] Sorry. Sorry.

Gordon: What's going on?

Heather: Nothing, chef. Nothing chef.

Gordon: Who's shouting and screaming? Hey, Sara, let me just tell you something. You're not a fucking cheerleader so stop acting like one. Because we have nothing to fucking smile about. And listen, ladies, that has been one hour and forty minutes for four starters. And personally, I wouldn't laugh, or scream, or start wetting your knickers, because that is fucking embarrassing.

Heather: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Just take one good look at yourselves in the mirror, 'cause it's a fucking disgrace!

Virginia: What do you guy think we should do about the sauce?

Rachel: What have you got?

Virginia: I have a whole bunch of lamb stock and...

Maryann: This is veal stock! This isn't lamb stock, this is veal stock. There's no way in hell we can pass this off as fucking lamb sauce.

Virginia: (interview) I was totally desperate. Desperate enough to go over to the other team and ask them for some lamb stock. [crosses into the blue kitchen and goes over to Giacomo] May I have some lamb stock, please?

Giacomo: I don't think so.

Keith: [laughs] No way! Get out!

Virginia: Please, you guys?

Keith: No way.

Virginia: You guys don't want to share any with me? You guys don't know if you might need something in the future.

Keith: I don't give a fuck.

Virginia: (interview) It was horrible. It was horrible. No matter what I did, something was messed up.

Gordon: We are so fucked it's unbelievable.

Customers: [chanting] I WANT MY FOOD! I WANT MY FOOD! WE WANT OUR FOOD! WE WANT OUR FOOD!

Gordon: Listen to that shit! (to Jean-Philippe) I can't take it anymore. Shut it down. (to both teams) Stop! Turn it off!

Episode Two [2.02]

Gordon: (to the Blue Team) Okay, listen up, here we go. On order, two covers table 24. Appetisers: one spaghetti, one Salad Saint-Jacques. Entrées: one duck, one chicken. Let's go, all together.

Tom: Would you please repeat it chef?

Gordon: Move your fat arse, and read it yourself, okay?

Tom: Fair enough, chef.

Gordon: Four minutes to the window, one spaghetti, one Salad of Saint-Jacques.

Gabe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Four minutes?

Gabe: We need two quails, chef, with that?

Gordon: Two quail? Gabe--

Gabe: No, no, I know chef--

Gordon: Sh--shut the fuck up...

Gabe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Would you MIND not being so rude?!

Gabe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: There's quail nowhere on that ticket!

Gabe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Just listen!

Gabe: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Concentrate!

Gabe: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Four minutes to the window! One spaghetti of lobster, one scallops!

Gabe: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Now, would you like me to fucking e-mail that to your BlackBerry?

Gabe: No, chef.

Gordon: Move your arse!

Gabe: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Oh, my God almighty! (to Maribel after she spilled the spaghetti) Right now, here's what I suggest you do: buy a restaurant and put one table in there. Any more than that, you'd be fucked!

Gordon: One duck and one chicken!

Tom: I have a duck and a chicken ready for it's sides.

Gordon: (to Giacomo) And taste that. Taste that there. Just taste that. Why has he fried the cabbage?

Scott Leibfried: I don't know chef.

Gordon: It's like glue! Is that what you want to do is to start sneaking things in there?

Giacomo: No chef.

Gordon: So, you agree it tastes like shit.

Giacomo Yes sir, and I still served it.

Gordon: You still served it?

Giacomo: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Hey, hey, and you want a restaurant in Vegas?

Giacomo: A lot of work to do chef.

Gordon: Hey, why don't you become a hairdresser? Poncing around with women's hair?

Giacomo: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Now get the cabbage on.

Man: All I want to know is we're going to eat tonight or not.

Gordon: Honestly, for the first time in my fucking cooking career, yeah? I'm in a kitchen with Muppets. Thank you, sir.

[the customers have left Hell's Kitchen]

Gordon: Ladies, just come here. Just stand there and tell what you see in the dining room. [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Hey, you, hello? Gabe. You, (to Tom) Sinbad. Shut it. (to Giacomo) Mop-head, hello? Just come here. Just come here all four of you. Just stand there and tell what you see in the dining room. Right in front of your very own eyes: a death of a restaurant. (cuts to the empty dining room) Pathetic. Shut it down!

Episode Three [2.03]

[In the challenge. The blue team has three dishes while the red team only has two.]

Gordon: So, blue team. Tortellinis, but sadly, no sauce.

Tom: [slouching against the counter] May I speak?

Gordon: No tortellinis...

Tom: May I speak?

Gordon: ...from the red team. (to Tom) May you speak? May you stand up straight and stop acting like a slob?

Tom: Well I'm trying... no, I need to-

Gordon: No no. Cut the fucking bullshit, will you? Just stand up straight, at least look like a fucking cook!

Tom: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [mocks Tom] Do I slouch and slob and talk like this like some big fat fucking slob?

Tom: (interview) Who do you think you're talking to? He doesn't want to get into a street fight with me. Trust me.

Giacomo: Chef Scott, this oven is cold. It's coming out cold.

Scott: What, you're just noticing this now?

Giacomo: No, I noticed it earlier.

Scott: Dude, you don't have the fucking gas on, stupid!

Gordon: Why is the oven not on? Hello, bird-brain! Why is the oven not on?!

Giacomo: I'm not sure, chef.

Gordon: You're not sure? YOU DONKEY!!

Gordon: (with a pan of mashed potatoes) Tom, it's two turbot, yeah? There's only enough there for one, Tom.

Tom: We don't have any more mashed potato.

Gordon: Oh, get out of here! You've ran out of mashed potato?

Keith: Where the fuck did all the mashed potatoes go?

Gordon: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS, TOM?

Tom: I'm looking for them, chef.

Gordon: How many wellingtons have we sent? We've only served two fucking tables their main course, Keith!

Keith: We prepped them, I don't know where they went. He said he burned them.

Gordon: Have you burnt the potatoes?

Tom: Yes, I did.

Gordon: You've stopped caring now. I can see it in your attitude.

Tom: No, I haven't.

Gordon: Yes, you fucking have. You stopped caring now. What do you care about?

Tom: I care about making an ass of myself right now.

Gordon: Really? Hey, congratulations. Exactly what you're just doing.

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Maribel]

Gordon: Oh, come on. Come on. You're maybe there, but this is not fair! Read out the ticket for me for the wellington.

Maribel: Medium.

Gordon: IT'S RARE! Oh, come on! It's the only table that you're doing, Maribel! Christ almighty!

Woman: (to JP) We're going to leave. I don't see my food.

Gordon: (to JP) Is that the table?

Jean-Philippe: It's the two ladies.

Woman: We've waited too long. [exits the restaurant]

Gordon: Missy.

Maribel: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Table has walked out. And the sad thing about it: you've given up so FUCKING easily because you don't give a SHIT! [kicks the bins] SHIT!! (to the red team) Switch everything off, yeah?

Sara: Yes, chef.

[customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]

Lady: Alright, well thank you.

Man: Yeah, thanks for nothing.

Gordon: Everyone, shut the kitchen down.

Episode Four [2.04]

Gordon: (to Garrett) There's not even an ounce of salt in there. Are you serious? We can't send any food, Garrett... GARRETT... Unless we've tasted anything. If you haven't tasted your own fucking food, what chance have you got!?

Garrett: None.

Gordon: I'd rather fuck off for a burger!

Gordon: (on Maribel's potatoes) Maribel, what is that?

Maribel: It's mashed potatoes, chef.

Gordon: Tell me why is it gone like glue? Missy, I'd get some fresh ones if I was you.

Maribel: (to her team mates) Do we have any more potatoes, guys?

Gordon: Oh, dear. You know what? If that's the last thing in this country to eat, I'd fucking starve.

Gordon: Service please, where's the wellington?

Tom: It was a little too pink.

Gordon: Oh no, oh come on, it's a little too pink. Keith!

Keith: Four minutes chef.

Gordon: Four minutes to the window, thank you. Tom, do you realise what's going on in here?

Tom: Yes, people are communicating.

Gordon: Yeah that's right, first thing turn around and Chef four minutes to the window. You, [gets in to a chipmunk pose] "A little pink". What fucking line of communication is that on?

Gordon: (to Tom) This order here is 7:35. Hello? Stop! Hey, lis--Stop! Come here, you! You idiot. Now I've FUCKING HAD ENOUGH! What I'm trying to tell you in your fucking eyeballs that the quail in the spaghetti now and you're putting the quail in.

Tom: No, I have the ones there.

Gordon: THAT'S FOR THAT FUCKING ORDER THERE!!! [pounds the counter; the restaurant falls silent.] You're not bothered, are you? It doesn't hurt, does it? [points to his heart]There's nothing here.

Tom: No, it does. I can't yell. I can't cry. All I have to do is do it. [Tom's meat pan catches fire.]

Gordon: Oh, my God. [Tom blows on the fire and it gets bigger] THE DUCK'S BURNT!! YOU'RE COOKING IN A BURNT PAN, YOU FUCKING DICK!! Oh, my god! Leave it! Leave it! LEAVE IT!! Just fucking leave it! [places the pan off the burner and the fire goes out] You're going to blow fire in your face, you fucking donkey!! Keith.

Keith: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Get on the meat section, and stay next to him, and don't let him cook a fucking thing! And you (Tom), open those big eyes and watch what the fuck this guy is doing.

Tom: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Shut it and watch!

Tom: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Shut it!!

Tom: I'm waiting on--

Gordon: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU!! YOU DONKEY!!!

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Virginia]

Gordon: Virginia!

Virginia: Yes, chef?

Gordon: What is that there? What is the wellington requested?

Virginia: Medium.

Gordon: What is that?

Virginia: I thought it was medium, but it's my bad.

Gordon: Here we go again. What is that?

Virginia: I thought it was medium, chef.

Gordon: What is that?!

Virginia: Rare?

Gordon: Rare, that's right gold-star!

Gordon: Missy.

Rachel: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Why are you glazing it with butter and not egg wash?

Rachel: It was egg wash, sir.

Gordon: What's that in there?

Rachel: That's egg.

Gordon: Egg yolk or egg white?

Rachel: Egg white?

Gordon: Oh, no. Have they all been glazed all night with egg white?

Rachel: Wrong thing evidently.

Gordon: Oh, no. Why are wellingtons going in now?

Virginia: We ran out, chef.

Gordon: You ran out?

Virginia: Yes.

Gordon: Oh, fuck me... ladies, I personally don't want to do this anymore. (to Rachel) I'm fed up with your shit, (to Maribel) I'm fed up with your shit. (to Virginia) You've been a fucking letdown the minute you started cooking.

Virginia: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Then you LIED to me that the turbot's en route, when she (Sara) hasn't even got it out of the FUCKING fridge! Do you want to continue like this?

Virginia: No, chef.

Gordon: Fuck the lot of you! Is that clear?

Red Team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Fuck the lot of you!

Rachel: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [pounds the counter] You! Come here, you. (to Keith) Fat fuck. (to Tom) Hey, doughnut. Come here, you. Hey, ladies, come here. Let me tell you something, [takes off his apron and throws it at Tom] Here you go! [throws his towel at Tom] Here you go! I've had enough! I've had ENOUGH! I cannot believe you're actually attempting to fucking win a restaurant! Get back in your fucking dorms, and alone. By the time you get back in here, from the blue team, nominate someone that's going tonight. And from the red team, come back with someone that's leaving. NOW GET OUT! OUT!! LEAVE THE STOVES!!

Lady: I don't think we're getting dessert.

Episode Five [2.05]

Narrator: Chef Ramsey is giving the red team some polite words of engorgement.

Gordon: (To the Red Team) Please, please, please, please, please, please, please move your arses!!

[Gordon checks the quail brought up by Rachel]

Gordon: Oh, no. No, no, no. Rachel!

Rachel: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Come here, you. Come here. No, fuck it. All of you, come here right now. [pounds the counter] And eat. Eat that. Eat it. I'm, I'm, I'm--I'm dying to understand what's going through your FUCKING MIND! Now, what do you think of the quail?

Sara: It's overcooked. Little too much production on the sauce chef and you can see bones.

Gordon: What's your verdict?

Maribel: It's dry and tastes a little burned.

Gordon: Yeah, it's shit! A little burned?! Fuck me! Do you need some glasses? (to Jean-Philippe) Ask one of the customers for his fucking glasses. There, table seven, he's got them (to Rachel) And what's in it for you?

Rachel: It's overcooked.

Gordon: Pssss...fuck off will you?

Virginia: All right, let's do it again guys, come on. [Jean-Philippe returns with a pair of glasses]

Gordon: There they are. There's the gentleman's glasses. I'm serious now! Does anyone need a pair of glasses? Fuck off, Jean-Philippe. Did you really think I was going to go out there with the quail, burned to a cinder? (Rachel doesn't answer) Did you really think I was going to send that? I need to know in your mind. Did you actually think I was going to serve that? (still no answer) Come here, you, come here. [leads Rachel into the pantry] What the fuck are you doing? Do you want to go home?

Rachel: Ahem.

Gordon: No, no, tell me now!

Rachel: I will not let you down tonight.

Gordon: You already have! I want to pull it back!

Rachel: I will get you through entrées.

Gordon: I know damn well you can do it. I can see it in your eyes. I can identify with the hunger but right now, missy, there's just a blonde empty fucking head.

Rachel: I won't let you down.

Gordon: Get it together, communicate, open up and start talking to me. Now move!

Rachel: Yes, chef.

Gordon: This is your time now to step up and get your team together.

Keith: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Those two, yeah? Are cooking like donkeys. Come on! Donkey's Kitchen, should we change the fucking logo? D.K.?

Garrett: No, chef.

Gordon: Where's the cabbage? Come on, Garrett! Keith and Garrett! You just got all quiet! None of you are working as a team! Where's the lamb SAUCE?!

Heather: Come on, man!

Garrett: Just need a minute--

Gordon: WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?!

Heather: Right here, chef.

Garrett: Lamb sauce is coming up.

Gordon: There's just nothing coming together!

Garrett: Right here, chef.

Gordon: Thank you very much.

Garrett: Not a problem, chef.

Gordon: Oh, fuck off you, you fat useless sack of fucking yankee-danky-doodle shite. Fuck off will you please, yeah?

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Rachel]

Gordon: (to Maryann) How's it cooked?

Maryann: It was cold.

Gordon: Uhm, Rachel, come here.

Rachel: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Just touch that. What's the lamb?

Rachel: It's well done.

Gordon: It's requested pink. That's cooked to fuck! [pounds the counter] It's barely edible!! [sits down] Aw, for God's sake!

Rachel: Rachel, this is pitiful. Rachel, you suck.

Gordon: (to Rachel) Stop right there. I'm going to put you out of your misery. Switch it off. [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Just stop. Shut it down!

Heather: Yes, chef.

Narrator: Although dinner service is finished, Chef Ramsay is not finished with one of the chefs.

Gordon: (to Keith) You've got that spoiled brat syndrome. That huffy puffy, turn your eyes, fold your arms and you don't even look at me in the eyes.

Keith: I didn't mean that, chef.

Gordon: Deep down inside, you've got a big amount of talent there, you know that. But my biggest problem is no-one's noticed it properly. Has anyone ever told you how good you could be?

Keith: No, chef.

Gordon: You can cook, big man, you know that. The first hour and a half of service, you were running it. Then you made one stupid mistake. The quicker you get rid of the attitude, you're going to shine.

Keith: Yes, chef.

Episode Six [2.06]

Heather: (referring to herself, Keith and Garrett) We're going to be the final three.

[While unloading ice from a truck]

Keith: Heather is one tough bitch!

Heather: I'm the toughest bitch there is.

Heather: I was sweating like Tom today.

[Gordon and the red team enter Nick & Stef's Steakhouse]

Gordon: So this place is renowned for its steaks.

Narrator: Now the red team has moved onto entrées at another Hollywood hot spot.

Maribel: Nice and private, very nice.

Narrator: And Virginia has an important question for the owner...

Virginia: What's the one key thing that you can honestly say? I'm saying like right when you think of it. What can you tell me here right now? I'm saying like...

Narrator: ...if only she could ask it.

Virginia: ...What have you learned now that you did then when you opened up a place?

Joachim Splichal: You need consistency. That's it. Consistency.

Virginia: I just find it very, I love the fact that you grew so quickly. I mean that's so...

Sara: (interview) We were like "Shut up! Shut up!" At what point is Virginia not fake?

Virginia: ...so on and so forth. But, you know anyway...

Maribel: (interview) "Blah. blah. blah. Yadda. Yadda." Virginia, she annoys me.

[The chefs meet in front of Chef Ramsay]

Gordon: Garrett, yesterday when I went out with the girls, you... gave me this. (the finger) Right now big boy, you've got nothing to be brash, cocky or show such attitude over. Do you want to go?

Garrett: No.

Gordon: I never, ever want to see this in front of my face again. Let's get that clear.

[Gordon checks on sashimi brought up by Virginia]

Gordon: Virginia!

Virginia: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Look what you're sending me. Come here you. It's just... It's just getting thicker and thicker and thicker.

Virginia and Sara: Alright.

Gordon: It's just fish sliced.

Virginia: Yes, chef.

Gordon: That's what it is! It's raw fish! It's fucking sliced! We still can't get that out!

[Gordon checks on duck salad brought up by Garrett]

Gordon: What in the fuck is that? What is this?! Get me a duck salad now!

Garrett: [takes the plate back] I got another one on the way chef.

Gordon: Why did you serve me that? We're doing so well?! (to Keith) Keith, if there's a time you need to get a grip for your team, it's right now!

Narrator: The red team has moved on to entrées and Sara has brought her lamb...

[Sara delivers her lamb to the pass, Gordon checks it]

Gordon: What's that?

Narrator: ...to the slaughter.

Gordon: What the fuck is that? Missy (Sara), Just what are you doing with the lamb?

Sara: I'm learning, chef.

Gordon: You're learning?

Sara: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What do you mean you're learning?

[flashback to when the red team creates their own menu]

Gordon: Sara! What is going on? Are you... fucking blind?

Sara: No, chef.

Gordon: What is that? In your-- What are-- I don't know what the fuck you're doing!

Sara: Me neither, chef.

Gordon: That is not going anywhere, missy!

Sara: Okay.

Gordon: Except in the fucking bin!!

[Gordon asks for Sara's lamb in the red kitchen]

Gordon: Where is the lamb?

Sara: It's working, chef.

Gordon: I'm about to send the third table of entrées from the blue team and I still haven't got the lamb out from the red team!

Sara: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Now it's turning into a fucking big embarrassment!

Sara: Yes, chef!

Gordon: And I'm going to kick you out any minute now, unless you get me a fucking lamb!!

Sara: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Sara! Come here, missy!

Sara: Yes, chef?

Gordon: I don't know if you're colour-blind or you've got a problem with your fucking contact lenses, that is blood. Look, it's blood! They want it medium, it's still fucking rare! [pounds the counter]

Sara: Yes, chef!

Gordon: There's blood everywhere! We still haven't sent an entrée from the red team.

Sara: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe at the pass) Take the lamb off the menu. Stop it! I don't give a flying FUCK! (to Sara) You! Don't DARE cook any more lamb: Jean-Philippe has taken so much flak on the back of your inconsistency!

Sara: Hmm.

Gordon: If you're going to grill a salmon Sara, you don't tie it and fucking stuff it together. That is the third dish from the red team that is totally impractical. Can we just cut the salmon into a slice without fucking around?

Sara: Yeah. Consistency?

Gordon: Don't fucking dare! Don't fucking dare!! Missy, missy, come here you fat mouthed little stupid bitch!

Sara: Yes, chef?

Gordon: You're pissing around with something that's not working! Has that fucking clicked?

Sara: Yes, chef.

Gordon: IT'S FUCKING RARE!! Just stop! [calls the blue team who have just completed their service] Blue team, come here! All of you! I'm so fucking determined to have a successful completed service. I've got 11 tables waiting for main courses from the red team! You (the blue team) get on the sections and work together!

Sara: Thank you, chef.

Gordon: I personally don't want to stick around for pretty more shit. [exits the kitchen in disgust] A fucking embarrassment.

Episode Seven [2.07]

Heather: You've got to watch your scallops.

Sara: Thank you, Heather. I've got it.

Gordon: Missy.

Sara: Yes, chef?

Gordon: If you sauté scallops in a non-stick pan, they won't stick. That's why it's called FUCKING NON-STICK!!! [Gordon's voice goes falsetto on the "STICK"] I don't know what non-stick means in Texas, sweetheart, but fuck me!

Sara: Yes, chef!

Narrator: Hoping to satisfy Chef Ramsay, Garrett rushes his chicken to the pass.

Gordon: Garrett, the chicken is raw!

Garrett: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You're going to kill someone!

Narrator: Garrett has just brought a dish to the pass that is not only inedible but downright dangerous.

Gordon: You knew it's raw!

Garrett: I'm doing it because it's faster chef. It's the only reason.

Gordon: Faster?! You've always got a fucking answer for everything!

Garrett: I'm just trying to--

Gordon: SHUT IT! YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN WHITE!!

[a woman comes up to the hotplate demanding for food]

Lady: Excuse me, Mr. Ramsay.

Gordon: Yeah, just wait I'll be thirty seconds right now.

Lady: Uh... Excuse me.

Gordon: I just asked for thirty seconds, will you just be so kind, I'm in the middle of serving a table. Service!

Lady: How long do you think it might be?

Gordon: Would you mind taking your breasts off my hotplate? Look at that. How will I serve food with those fucking things there?

Lady: Oh what the fuck, you?! [flips a plate full of food on the tray; angrily pushes the tray; leaves the restaurant]

Gordon: Security, please!

Gordon: (to Sara) Missy, how many scallops are you serving per portion?

Sara: Five each.

Gordon: Are they small, big or massive?

Sara: They're medium.

Gordon: They're medium? Missy, [in a fast tone; gives her a towel] clean your fucking glasses, I'll ask you quickly, yeah? Yeah, let's do it this way. CLEAN YOUR FUCKING GLASSES!!

Sara: Alright, chef. [wipes her glasses]

Gordon: Carrots!

Garrett: Yes, chef!

Gordon: "Carrots" I said, not "Garrett".

[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Garrett]

Gordon: Look at that salmon. Is that the best piece of salmon? (Garrett doesn't answer) I'VE ASKED IS THAT THE BEST SALMON?!

Garrett: Yes, chef.

Gordon: It's chewed and buckled and... What have you done to it? (to Garrett) Mister, get a grip! I can't take it anymore!

Gordon: Virginia, what are you doing?

Virginia: I'm plating, I'm getting the tortellini, chef.

Gordon: There's not a tortellini on the order.

Virginia: But there's tortellini, chef.

Gordon: Listen, you stupid fucking fat-mouth bitch! Bring me your ticket here, bring it here! And read it out-- Come here!

Virginia: You're right, chef.

Gordon: Now, will you fucking SHUT UP! [throws the ticket at the counter] YOU JUST TALK CRAP! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! [repeatedly pounds the counter]

Gordon: Where's that Belgian?

Jean-Philippe: I would like to sit around with you, and stay with you, but I can't. [backs to the pass] Chef!

Gordon: What are you trying to do, lose your virginity? [Jean-Philippe takes a look at Gordon, then returns to his station]

Episode Eight [2.08]

Gordon: Let's go, three salmon, one turbot.

Sara: Heather?

Heather: What?

Sara: Is there any salmon left in the house?

Gordon: What's going on? What's going on?

Sara: Chef, I--

Gordon: What? Come here you! Tell me! I'm the fucking chef!!

Sara: Yes, chef. I don't have enough salmon to get through the night.

Gordon: You're not serious, are you?

Sara: I am serious chef.

Gordon: Hey, I'd fuck off and go and buy some if I were you.

Sara: May I substitute using turbot?

Gordon: Why don't you check with the maître d'? Can we serve turbot in place of the salmon?

Jean-Phillippe: On which table?

Gordon: Table 20. Please? Thank you. (to Sara) Hey, you, fuck off, will you? You useless cow.

Sara: Turbot's in here. Sorry chef.

Gordon: You know missy, you're finished aren't you?

Sara: No, chef, come on!

Gordon: Hey, what do you mean come on? I want you to come on! I want you to wake up!

Sara: Chef, I told you and they're resolving it now and all I can do is give you the turbot. I have the salmon in the fridge and there's only 2!

Gordon: That's right! And whose fucking fault was it?! Don't get fucking upset with me in my fucking kitchen when you're standing there sulking because you fucked the salmon!

Sara: I'm not sulking chef.

Gordon: Yeah, you're finished. Heather, get on the fish please and do something for her yeah?

Sara: No, chef.

Gordon: So wake up and get it back together!

Sara: I don't need to be replaced chef!

Gordon: Then tell her then.

Sara: I don't need to be replaced.

Gordon: There you go.

Sara: (interview) I screwed up one fucking table with one fucking salmon. I wasn't beat. Don't get up all about my crotch about shit.

Gordon: Virginia, you're no longer safe!

[Virginia and Sara are nominated for elimination.]

Gordon: Virginia, you won the challenge. I guaranteed you a place in the final three. If you want to go, that is your choice. If you decide to stay, I'll send Sara home.

Virginia: I understand what you're telling me that I want to be in the final three because I deserve to be in the final three, not because you're a man of your word. Not because of a friggin challenge. I want to be there because I deserve to be.

Gordon: I can't help you anymore. This is entirely your decision.

Sara: Can I ask a question chef?

Gordon: Shut the fuck up for 30 seconds.

Episode Nine [2.09]

[Virginia and Keith are nominated for elimination while Heather is advancing to the final round.]

Gordon: This...is quite possibly the toughest decision I've had to make. The person leaving Hell's Kitchen tonight and will not be advancing to the final two is........ Keith. What I am looking for is a leader. And personally big boy, you're not ready. Give me your jacket.

Keith: [gives Gordon his jacket] So you're saying that Virginia's a better leader than me? I've been leading the whole time. Whatever station you told me, through the line with people that didn't know anything.

Gordon: I personally don't think you're ready to lead.

Keith: I personally think that you have a hard on for Virginia.

Gordon: Why did you have to be so fucking rude?

Keith: Because you're rude to me all the time.

Gordon: So? Now I definitely know I've made the right decision. So your attitude does stink.

Episode Ten [2.10] (Two Hour Finale)

Episode One [3.01]

[Signature Dishes]

Gordon: And whose dish is that?

Vinnie: It's mine chef.

Gordon: What is the dish?

Vinnie: It is chorizo encrusted pink snapper.

Gordon: Where in the fuck's the snapper?

Vinnie: It's underneath.

Gordon: That's the snapper there?

Vinnie: Yes sir.

Gordon: Okay. [tastes] God, fuck. Do you think you can really seriously eat that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

Vinnie: I don't think so.

Gordon: Now you want to fucking argue. Back in line.

Vinnie: Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said "This guy's really confident." and I think I intimidated him.

Gordon: What a fucking jerk.

Gordon: Whose is this?

Josh: (interview) Food is sex and everybody likes sex and everybody likes food. I want to make people feel like they just had great sex.

Gordon: Unfortunately it's raw. Raw foie gras. Take that. [gives a piece to Josh and they both taste]

Josh: (interview) That foie gras was goddamn perfect.

Gordon: That is way way way too salty my man.

Josh: (interview) Ok, I'll give him, it was a little salty.

Narrator: Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now it's down to the final chef.

Gordon: Oh fuck me. Whose is this?

Aaron Song: (Dressed up as a cowboy) It's me chef.

Gordon: And where's your horse?

Aaron Song: I left him parked outside chef.

Gordon: I've never met an Asian cowboy.

Aaron Song: (interview) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

Gordon: You are one chunky monkey aren't you?

Aaron Song: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What is it?

Aaron Song: It's finger food chef so,

Gordon: How big are your fucking fingers?

Aaron Song: I have big hands.

Gordon: [tastes part of the dish] This is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

Aaron Song: (interview) My plate was full but, heck I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

Narrator: With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Gordon: Aaron, how are you feeling?

Aaron Song: Sorry. [starts to cry] I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Gordon: Keep it together! For God's sakes, man!

Aaron Song: I don't know what's going on... [continues to cry]

Gordon: Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

Jean-Philippe: (outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Gordon: Stop fucking crying! Stop! STOP!! Do you want to go and lie down in the dorm?

Aaron Song: No sir, I'm fine chef. I apologize.

Gordon: You can do it.

Aaron Song: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Good man.

[Gordon checks on quail eggs brought up by Tiffany]

Gordon: Who cooked these quail eggs?

Tiffany Nagel: I did chef.

Gordon: Touch that there. It's like a plastic silicon implant. Fucking bin them. Get rid of them.

Gordon: (to Vinnie) Hey, just come here you... you're putting water in the risotto.

Vinnie: Chef, I put water in the risotto, we don't have any more stock.

Gordon: Oh, for fuck's sake...

Vinnie: (interview) Well, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

Gordon: [tastes] It tastes like gnat's piss. [coughs] Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Hey, Brad! Get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

Brad: (interview) It was a relief when Chef Ramsay put me on the appetizers, because the apps station was going down. It was going down, big time.

Gordon: And create the seasoning, please, yes?

Brad: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Wash up!

[Gordon gathers the Red team at the corner]

Gordon: What is going on?

Julia: I'm trying to help her (Tiffany) with her eggs, but she don't want me to fix it. That's all I'm saying.

Gordon: Okay, let me just tell you something: There's more argument going on than there is cooking. (to Tiffany) You're coming off the section.

Tiffany Nagel: Okay.

Gordon: (to Melissa) Melissa, get on the appetisers. (to Julia) You cook the fucking quail egg and can we just work as a little bit of a team?

Red team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Right now, put it to bed, fucking concentrate!

Red team: Yes, chef!

Narrator: While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

Aaron Song: [washing his face with water] Oh, fuck.

Brad: (interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Aaron Song: Oh, fuck.

Brad: (interview) Get better at cooking.

Aaron Song: I'm kind of dizzy right now. I'll be back in five, gentlemen.

Brad: (interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

[Aaron walks into a store room and takes off his jacket. Gordon follows him in there.]

Gordon: You've gone white.

Aaron Song: [whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Gordon: Hey.

Aaron Song: But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Gordon: Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

Narrator: With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Josh: Two minutes in, Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Eddie: Yes.

Josh: Okay, two minutes!

Brad: Come on guys, no bickering, lets do it!

Josh: (interview) I was born for this.

Josh: Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself, walked into the deepest pile of the shit.

Gordon: Josh,

Josh: Yes, chef?

Gordon: How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

Josh: One, two, three, four and that's all the chicken that we have, chef.

Gordon: So we've got no chicken anywhere?

Josh: We have no chicken, chef.

Scott Leibfried: We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?!

[the customers have begun leaving]

Gordon: (to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! NOTHING'S GETTING DONE.

[cuts to the blue kitchen where Eddie's pan catches fire]

Brad: Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

Joanna: People fucked me up right now.

Gordon: Maryann, are they arguing again?

Maryann: Yes, chef, they are.

Gordon: (to the blue team) Just stop! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. The service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

Gordon: You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches.

Gordon: Vinnie, sixty minutes without any appetisers. What have you got to say?

Vinnie: I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

Gordon: You two faced lazy little fucker!

Vinnie: Lazy?

Rock: (interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up! Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

Gordon: What do you want me to do? Wipe your arse?

Episode Two [3.02]

Aaron Song: (to the customers) My name's Aaron. I'm a chef. I'm one of your chefs tonight. And welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Customers: Thank you.

Gordon: (to Jean Philippe) What in the fuck is Aaron doing in the dining room?

Aaron Song: My name's Aaron, and I'm a chef in Hell's Kitchen. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Jean Philippe: He's talking to customers.

Gordon: He's talking to customers.

Aaron Song: My name's Aaron. Well, you already know my name because it's on my shirt!

Gordon: Get that fucking donkey out of there!

Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Gordon: Spaghetti, scallops how long?

Bonnie: 3 minutes, chef.

Gordon: [sees what Bonnie is doing] What are you doing? What are you doing?

Bonnie: I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

Gordon: See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

Bonnie: I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Gordon: Are you a dumb blonde?!

Bonnie: (interview) I feel like I'm the one that everybody sees as the idiot in the group, so I'm always trying to prove everybody wrong.

Gordon: Fucking Barbie.

[Gordon checks on Dover soles brought up by Vinnie]

Gordon: Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef?

Gordon: I thought by this stage you'd tell me the truth. I'm telling you, one nicely cooked there, yeah? And one that is cooked to fuck.

Vinnie: Yes, chef.

[Gordon tastes Eddie's risotto at the pass]

Gordon: Eddie! Oh, no. Oh, no! [returns to the workstation] ALL OF YOU! Taste it! It's inedible! [spits it out] It's way too peppery and you wouldn't even serve it to a fucking PIG! (to Eddie) Get off the section!

Eddie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Get off!

Eddie: Yes, chef.

[Gordon tastes Brad's risotto at the pass]

Gordon: Taste that. It's overcooked and peppery, Brad! Fucking wake up will you please, yes? That's the second one by two different cooks. One fucking risotto, as quick as possible please.

Brad: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Josh, what are you doing there, what are you doing there with that chicken there? Is that dry?

Josh: No, chef.

Gordon: It looks dry from here. Just touch that, that's the skin, my man. Yeah. Yeah.

Josh: Yes, chef. Yes, chef. [Gordon smashes the chicken from the plate] (interview) Did that honestly just happen? What just happened?!

Gordon: That's it, fuck it! [throws the chicken on the floor] That's dry.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You, you, you, you! Hey, you, you! Come here! You, come here! Hey, you! Fucking come here, you! [calls out Aaron] Where's that fucking cowboy? Aaron! [Aaron enters the kitchen] Now you've (Josh) got dry chicken. You fucking donkey! You (Eddie) can't even do a fucking risotto, you know that? You (Aaron) can't even filet a fucking fish! You, you, you, you, you, you, fuck off out of here. Get out! GET OUT!! The fucking girls will finish the meal service! Get out!!

Gordon: Aaron, you're in the dining room like the President of the United States of America shaking hands with people. What the fuck was that all about?

Aaron Song: I apologize, chef. Obviously, I didn't do that great of a job.

Episode Three [3.03]

Bonnie: (interview; when troops wake up the chefs) I'm in the shower with conditioner in my hair. I was like run through the house half naked and I look like a drowned rat and I'm not happy.

Vinnie: (interview) It's was very disheartening to not to be able to serve the people that serve us.

[Gordon checks on risotto brought up by Joanna]

Gordon: Joanna!

Joanna: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Taste it quickly.

Joanna: Okay. [tastes the risotto]

Gordon: Come on, taste it. Let's go. [spits risotto out] It's soft, it's salty, yes? And it's just.. It's crap.

Joanna: Yes, chef.

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Bonnie]

Gordon: Who's coo... Who?...

Bonnie: I did the scallops, chef. What's wrong?

Gordon: What's wrong?

Bonnie: Are they raw?

Gordon: Oh, come on! Fucking hell! You just asked me are they raw. Why don't you tell me what the fuck they are?

Bonnie: They're raw, chef.

Gordon: [angrily throws a scallop in the bin] Fuck off!

Gordon: Gentlemen, today is about consistency. Brad.

Brad: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Are you consistently shit?!

Brad: No, chef!

Gordon: You're about to sink the navy, you dick-head!

Gordon: [smelling the crab] Hey, missy (Joanna), is that crab high to you? Anyone else smell that? Where's the crab? [picks up the container and smells it] Ugh! Maryann, smell that-- [seeing Joanna trying to leave] hey you, don't you fucking dare! Come here you! Hello!

Maryann: [smelling the crab] Oh god.

Gordon: Can you not smell that? The crab is off. It's fucking rancid! How can you do that?

Joanna: I did not smell the crab chef.

Bonnie: (interview) I can't believe Joanna had been using that. I mean, it just made you sit up and go "Whoa!"

Gordon: Have you sent one out already?

Joanna: No, chef, we haven't.

Gordon: Thank God for that! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!! [throws the crab in the bin] Hey... get off! Get off! Julia, take over.

Julia: Yes, chef.

Jean Philippe: Should I recommend something else?

Gordon: Oh, you fuck recommend. Yeah, recommend a new restaurant!

[Rock delivers his scallops to the pass with eggs cooked by Vinnie]

Gordon: Hey, hello! Come here, donkeys! Here we go. We started. Come here! What is that?

Brad: It's a raw egg.

Gordon: What is that? [shows the egg to Josh] Wha-what is that? What is that? [slams the raw egg in Vinnie's whites] Fuck off, will you? Fuck off! Okay?!

Rock: (interview) He slammed that shit right in Vinnie's... chest and Vinnie tensed up and he was about to bust and all I could think was, "Oh, my God. Do not lose your head."

Gordon: Fuck off!! Hey, why did you let it go when you know it's not fucking ready?

Vinnie: I screwed up again chef.

Gordon: Hey, look at me now. You've now just confirmed to my mind you're not trustworthy! So fuck you!

Vinnie: (interview) It's tough to bite your tongue. I just figured take it, it's the only way to win and you'll be alright.

Gordon: Start the fucking table again.

Jen Yemola: Julia, what you got in here is enough for two orders.

Julia: Okay.

Jen Yemola: I'm going to toss all this (spaghetti) out. [dumps it in the garbage]

Gordon: Away next, scallop, risotto, spaghetti yes?

Julia: Ladies, spaghetti!

Jen Yemola: You need more spaghetti Julia? Oh, I fucking just tossed it! Let me just get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. (interview) We had an order for spaghetti and I threw out what we had and I just decided to retrieve the spaghetti from the top of the garbage and washed it. 212 (degrees) kills the bacteria and I decided to serve it.

Julia: Where did you get it from?

Jen Yemola: The garbage on top.

Julia: Oh no, no, no. No way. (interview) Who in the world picks food out of the trash? You can't just do anything in the heat of the moment.

Gordon: (not having seen what Jen did) How long Julia?

Julia: Six minutes chef.

Gordon: Oh dear.

Narrator: Julia's quality control kept garbage from being served and Jen should consider herself lucky Chef Ramsay didn't witnessed her mistake. Meanwhile in the blue kitchen, the pressure is on Josh and Brad to get out some entrées.

Gordon: Let's do two wellingtons, one turbot. Lets go.

Brad: Josh, did you hear that? I'm going on two wellingtons. Can you, I need you guys to go.

Josh: That's not a problem. How long on the wellingtons?

Brad: I can go right now.

Josh: No, I can't.

Brad: You can't? I need to pull this out then.

Gordon: Hey, JOSH!!

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Fucking little bastard! Hey, are you just trying to sabotage them?

Josh: No way, chef.

Gordon: So that it makes you look good?

Josh: No way, chef.

Gordon: Who's the first person you should be telling?

Josh: I should talk to him (Brad), chef. I should talk to meat station. It was my fault, chef. (defensively) No sabotage. (interview) I wasn't trying to sabotage. Are you crazy?

Gordon: You deserve a kick in the nuts.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, start the fucking table again.

[Gordon notices Brad scraping off the bottom of a burnt wellington]

Josh: Brad, two minutes.

Brad: Yes, no go in two minutes 45 seconds.

Gordon: Hold on, there's someone being dishonest. Lift the bottom of the wellington over. [Brad does so] Oh come on. You give me them anaemic bits of shit, I'll fucking throw them up your arse sideways. [kicks a bin] Where's your fucking brain? I just cannot believe this! Can we have the two main courses TOGETHER?!!! [kicks the bins] SHIT!!! (groans)

[Gordon asks for wellingtons in the red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the wellington? How long?

Jen Yemola: [comes up to Gordon] My wellingtons are going to be overdone.

Gordon: Oh, for fuck's sake! Oh, come on!!

[cuts to the dining room]

Male diner: I'm not waiting another minute for my main course.

Gordon: Seventeen (wellingtons) on order and you've got three to send. We're fourteen short!

Jean-Philippe: (to a female diner) You don't want to stay a bit longer?

Female diner: Uhm, no.

[the customers have begun leaving. Jean-Philippe returns to the pass]

Jean-Philippe: Chef, they are all walking out. To the left and 12, 14, from both sides, chef.

Gordon: (to the red team) Stop! (calls the blue team) Come here! Hey, hello, chef (Josh), sabotage! Your tables are now getting up and leaving! Fuck off, will you, yeah?! [gets the tickets from the pass, crumples them and throws them away] Get out! GET OUT!!!

[after the service in which the Red team lost]

Gordon: Fucking hell! I still smell that (rancid) crab!

Gordon: Not only did Joanna serve rancid crab that could've seriously made a customer ill, she completely gave up, screwed her team, and if you can't handle one individual section, you got no chance of running a business.

Episode Four [3.04]

[During the blind taste test.]

Gordon: Ready? Brad, you sack of shit.

Later...

Gordon: Come on, what is that? Hello?

Brad: Papaya?

Gordon: Fucking carrot, you doughnut.

[the Blue team lost and was forced to eat various organ meats]

Gordon:: Your palates are shit, so taste everything on this platter.

Gordon: You, Melissa? You're running the appetisers, yes?

Melissa Firpo: Yes.

Gordon: You're running ahead, and no-one's with you. You're not a team player. Right now, I need some team fucking spirit!

Red team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: I might kick you out and I'll do the fucking section myself!

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef!

Gordon: I know what your game is. You just want to get all the appetisers out.

Melissa Firpo: No chef, I swear to God that's not true.

Gordon: Look good, [pretends to put makeup on] Oh, fuck me. [pretends to adjust his boobs] Oh, fuck me! Fuck off. Piss off. Fucking bimbo.

Gordon: We're waiting on you Bonnie! Is that just sliced in half there and put back in the pan?

Bonnie: [points at chicken on the cutting board] This chef?

Gordon: Oh no, Bonnie, not that. You're fucking here, you stupid cat. D'you know what? Every time I've asked you a sensible question, you give me a dumb blonde answer.

Bonnie: Sorry chef.

Gordon: Right, let's go back to the beginning shall we?

Bonnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Have you just sliced the chicken in half and stuck it back in the oven?

Bonnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Is it dry?

Bonnie: It doesn't feel dry but I'll start over.

Gordon: It's fucking lost its texture. Right now, you're all screwing your fucking selves. Is the chicken in for the langoustine?

Bonnie: [points to the same chicken] Yes, chef. Right here.

Gordon: Fuck me. No that's the main course one.

Bonnie: It's right here.

Gordon: Listen, Hey, listen, it's not in.

Bonnie: It's not in but I'm putting it in now.

Gordon: Right so - here we go again. - When are you going to fucking shut up? I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW! Stop lying to me! You're saying yes all the fucking time YET NOTHING'S DONE!!! WORK TOGETHER!!

Red team: Yes, chef!

[A tall lady comes to the hotplate demanding for food]

Gordon: Jean-Philippe, what table is the lady from, please? So we can find out where food is, please?

Jean-Philippe: 23 chef.

Gordon: 23, blue, yes?

Jean-Philippe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Take the giraffe back to her table please. Service please, let's go.

Lady: Excuse me?! I'm asking for service and he's being rude.

Gordon: Let's go. (to the tall lady) Fuck off, will you? Move your fucking arse, will you?

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Vinnie]

Gordon: Is that medium there?

Scott Leibfried: He was flashing them in the oven after they were cooked.

Gordon: [returns to the workstation] Okay guys. Just stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!!! Blue donkeys, come here! Touch that, touch that. IT'S RARE!! You (Vinnie), look at me. You don't care anymore, you know that?

Gordon: (checking Vinnie's wellingtons) Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Vinnie, come on chef. Look, raw pastry's trimmed off the bottom. That's the shit you don't send to the customers. It's still left on. Tell him to trim them please?

Rock: Trim them real quick.

Gordon: Chef Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Look at me. Can you trim it properly?

Vinnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: And bring it to the hotplate and cut the pastry with a straighted knife. Donkey! Is it every other one is right? Or is it one in three is right?

Vinnie: No, chef. This one's perfect.

Gordon: This one's perfect. What have you overcooked? How much have you binned?

Vinnie: I fucked a lot up but I'm on it now.

Gordon: [seeing Vinnie's wasted meat] Oh, no!

Vinnie: (interview) I kept my own private garbage bin on my station and I had six wellington orders and one chicken in my bin.

Gordon: Hey, a restaurant wouldn't even open with that. You'd close it before you got anywhere. [slams the tray on Vinnie's station]

Vinnie: (interview) It was a mistake. It's an expensive mistake.

Gordon: Oh, fuck me senseless!

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]

Jean-Philippe: Table 20, spaghetti undercooked chef.

Gordon: Blue, yes?

Jean Philippe: Oui chef.

Gordon: Where's fucking pretty-boy sushi man (Josh), where is he?

Josh: Right here, chef.

Gordon: Complaint: raw spaghetti. No don't fucki-- [grunts] The fuck you call that? What do you think you are? WWF Wrestling?! DICK! Taste it!

[Gordon gathers both teams to the pass]

Gordon: Let me just tell you something: The customers are deciding which team is winning this evening. Your fate is in their hands, yet you still send crap! One more dish back, and I'm going to fucking shut it down. Now, get a grip!

Gordon: Oh, God. Fucking hell. I'm just getting so fucking wound up. It's not going anywhere. We're not getting anything out. Everything's fucking done, clearly given up, and it's fucking embarrassing.

Red Team: No, chef!

Jean-Philippe: [returning with a dish] Chef?

Gordon: Aw, fuck off! Oh, fuck off! [kicks a bin] Fuck off! What did they say?

Jean-Philippe: Chicken being cold, chef.

Gordon: Ah?

Jean-Philippe: Chicken being cold.

Gordon: Right, hey, gentlemen. Hey, ladies, yeah, all look good well over. Hey, Barbie! (Bonnie) Do your hair before you come over! Stone-cold chicken, fucking salty fucking garnish, yeah? And fucking - there you go chef, there you go. [drops the dish on the floor] Fucking clear down.

Josh: (interview) Chef was furious. He dropped the plate, he said "Fuck off! Shut down!" And we were SO goddamn close again! Damn it.

Gordon: Vinnie talks the talk, but he doesn't walk the walk. The bottom line with Vinnie is he's a crap cook.

Episode Five [3.05]

[During the cooking challenge, while cooking the duck breast]

Julia: Bonnie, do I sear it until it gets really, really crispy?

Bonnie: No, you have to do it very slowly. It's not a sear.

Melissa Firpo: [pushing in next to Julia] What's the problem? Julia, ask me if you have any questions.

Bonnie: Alright...

Julia: What is your problem, Melissa?

Melissa Firpo: You're supposed to listen to me, not Bonnie.

Bonnie: (interview) Excuse me?!

Melissa Firpo: Check in on your duck, Julia. You took it out of the oven.

Julia: Yeah, so it won't burn.

Melissa Firpo: I think you should stick it back in, just for a little while.

Julia: But it's already medium.

Melissa Firpo: Guys, all the food has to be plated hot. I'm assuming that you have just a little bit of knowledge of how to cook...

Julia: Don't assume!

Melissa Firpo: ...otherwise, you shouldn't be here.

Julia: I thought that you knew how to cook, too!

Bonnie: (to herself) I am above all this.

[cut to Rock, who is standing in the storeroom by the red kitchen]

Rock: Argue, argue. Hell's Bitches, Hell's Bitches. Yes!

[Both teams have been cooking meals for a wedding reception in Hell's Kitchen]

Gordon: This menu is a crucial, critical menu. Did you use the time wisely?

Red Team: No, chef.

Gordon: What? No?

Bonnie: Too many people were arguing on our team chef.

Gordon: Oh, come on, ladies. Why are we arguing Julia on such an important occasion?

Julia: Because there was one person who wanted to run around and do every single thing.

Gordon: Who was in charge?

Melissa: I'm in charge, but unfortunately I can't do everything at once. I need help.

Gordon: Stop. I didn't put you in charge, madam. You're standing there acting like some jumped up little cavewoman. Today's challenge quite frankly was a team effort. Let's hope what you have produced in the last hour is delicious.

[The teams are tied one to one in the wedding reception challenge]

Narrator: Now it all comes down to the meat entrée.

Rock: (interview) Tied 1-1. All the pressure is riding on...me.

Gordon: Third and final dish. Please present the meat entrées.

Melissa: (to Jen) We shouldn't send it.

Gordon: Please present the meat entrées together.

Rock: Ready, Jen?

Melissa Firpo: Jen, don't send it. Don't.

Gordon: Melissa, I don't know what you're trying to do, or whether you're trying to upset our guests. But right now, I'm starting to get pissed. Now will you send your food?!

Rock: Let's go. [Rock and Jen bring the meat entrées to the table.]

Gordon: Right. Domes off. [Rock and Jen reveal their dishes, Jen's dish is a small dried up duck breast on a bare plate.] Alright... okay... ahem...

Bonnie: (interview) There are no words to say how humiliating it was serving a piece of shit duck to a husband and wife to be. I really wanted to disintegrate.

Gordon: Oh dear. Jen.

Jen Yemola: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Describe the dish.

Jen Yemola: That's a duck breast... um...

Gordon: First of all, I'm deeply embarrassed.

Jen Yemola: I am as well. (interview) I was so embarrassed you know. They probably think I cooked it. I had nothing to do with that!

Gordon: Rock, please explain.

Rock: We have a dry aged rib eye that's been pan seared and served with wild mushroom cream sauce.

Gordon: Thank you. [gives Carlotta the rib eye and Cyrus the duck breast]

Cyrus: [trying to cut through the duck] Oh wow, this is really tough.

Gordon: I'm so sorry. Nobody's going to be eating that, are they? [takes the duck away and covers it with a napkin, then looks at the Red Team in disgust]

Carlotta: [tasting the rib eye] This is delicious. That's great.

Cyrus: Definitely.

Narrator: Rock's rib eye easily beats the women's lame duck and the men win their first challenge in Hell's Kitchen.

Josh: (interview) Two things are happening right now. Number one, we finally got a win and we feel great about it. Number two, it's open hunting season on chicks and we're about to start picking them off one by one.

Gordon: My, er, apologies, and we'll do all that we can to make sure it's a very special day. Thank you for joining us for the tasting.

Carlotta: Thank you. [she and Cyrus leave]

Gordon: (to the Red Team) You four Hell's Bitches, I am embarrassed. I don't think I've ever, EVER been so embarrassed inside this restaurant in my entire life. That was a joke! You should be ashamed. All four of you are going to work your arses off. Get. Out. My. Sight!

[During preparation for the wedding reception, Melissa has burned a potato dish and has to redo it]

Gordon: They are getting fucking married! I can't stop the church!

Gordon: (to Josh) You still look fabulous by the way, yeah? You should be covering GQ: you, front cover, "Captain Dick".

Josh: (interview) Chef wants to put me on the cover of GQ. That's fine and good. But what I'm waiting for is for him to put me in charge of Green Valley Ranch.

[During the wedding reception, the wedding MC (Francisco) comes to the pass to demand faster service from Gordon]

Francisco: Gordon?

Gordon: [calls the waiters] Service, please! (to Francisco) Can you get out of the fucking way? I'm trying to serve food. You get out of the way. Stand out of the fucking way!!

Francisco: Okay, I think that went well.

Gordon: Unbelievable.

[Melissa has been struggling throughout service]

Gordon: Just come here. Can you stop pissing around? Stand up straight. What is your game here today? What is your fucking game? Something just happened to you. You just switched off completely. You're turning into a right little bitch!

Melissa Firpo: No, chef.

Gordon: Wake up!

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Fucking pathetic!

Gordon: Where is the sauce for the sea bass?

Josh: It's right here, Chef. [brings his sauce to the pass]

Narrator: Josh is moving fast to get entrées to the pass.

Gordon: Hey you, come here.

Narrator: ...maybe, a little too fast.

Gordon: Heat the sauce up! IT'S STONE-COOOOOOOLD!!!

Episode Six [3.06]

[The blue team has lost the lobster challenge]

Gordon: Losers, unfortunately, your punishment is at the other end of the spectrum. It's incredibly unglamourous. I can't think of any worse place to be. Today, I'm looking for everything that's possible to be recycled from every garbage bin inside this restaurant.

Rock: I've never seen anything inside of a garbage can that should be taken out. I might find this a little difficult.

Gordon: I can guarantee that within one hour, you'll find something.

Rock: (interview) Chef Ramsay tells us that they get to go to In Touch magazine and we have to dig through some fucking trash. I grew up in the ghetto in the hood. I ain't never been in no trash.

Brad: Let's take our punishment like gentlemen.

Gordon: Brad, thank you for being a man.

Brad: Thank you chef.

Rock: I guess I'm not a man. [starts throwing and slamming stuff as the blue team cleans up the kitchen] (interview) I'm pissed off! That was the dumbest fucking decision I've seen! That was bullshit!

Brad: (interview) Rock, he was pissed. Pissed to the point where I thought he was going to flip out.

Rock: What kind of shit is that?

Brad: (interview) I'm sorry, "thought". He flipped out.

Rock: Lobster bisque.You can get that shit at motherfucking Corner Bakery! (interview) You can go everywhere and get a fucking lobster soup! A grilled bullshit salad with some fucking apple! ORIGINALITY!! BE CREATIVE!!

Rock: And they get the fucking win! (interview) They're not creative over there and we lose?! What the fuck is original about a crab and lobster bisque?! NOTHING!!!

Melissa: Does Rock always get that mad?

Brad: I've never seen Rock that mad.

Josh: Never.

Gordon: Brad?

Brad: Yes, Chef?

Gordon: Two appetisers, you served me three. It's not a good start, guys. Water's not boiling properly for the fucking pasta, I call away a spaghetti and a fucking sea bass, I get a risotto as a little gift I don't fucking need. Stop panicking!

Gordon: Is the mashed potatoes ready yet?

Josh: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Hey, Scott. It looks like gloopy and runny, it's like he's pouring it into a fucking bowl! [bangs the overhead] (to Josh) Hey, come here. Do we put salt in the potatoes?

Josh: Uhm, not at all, chef.

Gordon: Get some potatoes on you.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [kicks a bin and throws his spoon away] Fuck off! Fuck off! It's like a bunch of fucking babies here!

Gordon: Melissa?

Melissa Firpo: Yes, Chef?

Gordon: It's like paper scallops.

Melissa Firpo: I'll get new ones, Chef.

Gordon: [handing Melissa's scallops to Brad and Josh] There you go.

Josh: (interview) Some of the scallops she did, they were, like, thin as a paper; there's like nothing there.

Gordon: Pass it back to Chef Melissa, the fucking gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws, there you go.

Melissa Firpo: Sorry guys.

Gordon: Hey, madam, this is not our first night?

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef. No, chef.

Gordon: "Yes, chef. No, chef?" Fucking gremlin.

Melissa Firpo: Monkfish chef.

Gordon: Eh, right. Uhm, Fish King, (Josh) come here you. There's the monkfish.

Melissa Firpo: Overcooked?

Josh: It's overcooked.

Gordon: Oh, god almighty. You don't know that's overcooked?

Melissa Firpo: Sorry chef.

Gordon: Hey, Brad, she doesn't know that's overcooked. Rock, she doesn't know that's chewed to fuck and overcooked. Scott, she doesn't know that's overcooked?

Scott Leibfried: Oh, my God. Completely.

Rock: (interview) Melissa was nervous, I could see it in her eyes and she fell apart. The monkfish was overdone. Pressure busts pipes, baby!

Gordon: It looks like regurgitated dog shit. Where's other monkfish gone?

Melissa Firpo: I have one left chef.

Gordon: Oh, no! So the six top on order are all shit?

Melissa Firpo: Yes.

Gordon: No, no, nooooo! Right Rock, listen to me, no choice now. Stop the veg, get on the fish. You! (referring Melissa) Oi, oi! Get on the garnish. Get the fuck off of there! GET OFF!!

[An entire table of entrées has returned to the blue kitchen and Gordon has had it]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe: Lobster's chewy, chef. And the beef overdone.

Gordon: Ohhhh, no. The whole fucking six top returned. Hello, look at me. Thanks (Melissa) for overcooking the monk-fish. Thanks (Josh) for shafting me on the mashed potatoes, and thanks (Brad) for being a twat on the appetisers. It's just so sad. Shut it down! Clear down.

Man: What about dessert?

Jean-Philippe: When it's closed, it's closed.

Man: Fuck that!

Gordon: Brad, tonight you were shit. In fact, you were worse than shit. You complemented shit.

Gordon: With Melissa, she's very assertive, and she sounds like a leader, but unfortunately, she doesn't cook like a leader.

Episode Seven [3.07]

Gordon: Hello! Hey, hey, hey! We haven't got the garnish now! The team's not working together and I'm getting a little bit pissed now! Not one of you talking, see what's happening!

Julia: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You're just screwing your fucking selves!

Julia: I see what's happening.

Gordon: NO-ONE'S EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!! [kicks the bins]

Gordon: (to Josh) Where's the lamb? How long please? HOW LONG, PLEASE?!!

Josh: Lamb's coming right now, chef.

Gordon: Let's go.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, you. Hey, donkey.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: One's nicely cooked, yeah, coloured, one's boiled. Fuck off, will you? So we're under pressure now and this is where it separates the fucking chef from a donkey! Come here! Let me tell you something.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Let me tell you something in your ear: YOU CAN'T COOK! That's what's just been confirmed to me.

Josh: Good to go? We're coming, Rock.

Gordon: Yeah, you're coming. So is your fucking elimination. Come round. Just look what you're doing here, you DOUGHNUT! Look, BOILED, BOILED, BOILED, BOILED! DONKEY!

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I expected perfect!

Gordon: Hey, Josh.

Josh: Yes, chef?

Gordon: I wouldn't trust you in a hotdog stand.

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (to the Red Team) They've (The Blue Team) overtaken you now! Two turbot, One New York strip. Bonnie, you're cooking and your fucking gas isn't even on!

[Bonnie gives a shocked face]

Gordon: [makes fun of Bonnie] OH IS IT? Oh! Don't panic Bonnie, if we go at your pace we're fucked - no-one's going to get fed - let's go -

Bonnie: I don't even know what I'm doing right now chef

Gordon: Hey missy, turn the fucking gas on, it would help!

Episode Eight [3.08]

Gordon: On order, four covers table 32: Scallops, Mullet, Langoustine straight after yes?

Josh: Yes, chef! (interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I'm totally 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang. (to his team mates) Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Gordon: [finds that Josh has cooked risotto ahead] Why is the risotto on? We haven't given one away. How long has that been on there for?

Josh: That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

Gordon: [finds that Josh has cooked five other risottos] Fucking h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? You've started panicking, my ma. How many fucking risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What is going on? Let me just tell you something: we've opened, we haven't served anything yet, and we've lost money. What a fucking doughnut!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Rock; they're badly overcooked]

Gordon: Rock!

Rock: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Yeah, you can fuck yourself! Look at that there, look at that. There you go. Come on! Oh, fucking hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Rock: Not at all, chef.

Gordon: We're going from fucking bad to worse, man.

Bonnie: (interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh aren't doing well.

Gordon: Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

Josh: This is one of the pulled--

Gordon: Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? [sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket]

Josh: Starting over. Starting over.

Gordon: Oh, fuck me. In your restaurant when you come in here do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Josh: Never, chef.

Gordon: So why are you doing it here?

Josh: It was wrong.

Gordon: Fuck. Oh was it really wrong? Even my mum cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

[Deleted Scene]

Gordon: Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck. Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

Josh: I heard two spaghetti.

Gordon: It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Josh: Going in the bin right now chef.

Gordon: Oh fuck me.

Narrator: While Julia struggles to keep her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

Gordon: What the fuck is he doing? [sees more spaghetti in the basket] Wha? More spaghetti in there! [dumps it in the bin]

Josh: Sorry.

Gordon: We cook spaghetti to order! Even the fucking, dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order you donkey!

Josh: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I'm just wondering what the fuck you're doing?

Josh: I'm here chef.

Gordon: You're pushing me to the fucking limit big boy. Huh?

[7:04 PM]

Narrator: More than a hour into dinner service, guests are finally getting a taste of Josh's appetizers.

Jean-Philippe: How is everything?

Lady #1: [whispers in JP's ear] It's under-cooked.

Lady #2: Oh, my God!

[Jean-Philippe returns the risotto to the pass]

Jean-Philippe: Risotto is under-cooked, chef.

Gordon: Sorry?

Jean-Philippe: It's under-cooked, chef.

Gordon: Oh, my God almighty! [tastes the risotto, then spits it out] Ugh! Ugh! Oh, fuck off! oh, fuck-- come here! Come here! Come here, you! What are you doing? Just what the fuck are you doing?! Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me, and you're fucking useless! What are you doing?!

Josh: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, do me a favour.

Josh: Yes, chef?

Gordon: [rips Josh's jacket open] Take that off and FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT!! Hey, you! leave the jacket and GET OUT!! GET OUT!!! [throws a spoon at Josh, then follows him to the back area; Josh takes his jacket off]

Gordon: Give me the jacket! Give me the fucking jacket! [Gordon takes the jacket from Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom] Fucking useless sack of shit! Get out!!! GET OUT!!!

Josh: (interview; imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would've given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting. I came here with a dream to win. And it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over guys.

Narrator: The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

Rock: What is this? Is this yours?

Jen Yemola: That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] Asshole!

Rock: You a fucking asshole!

Gordon: Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

Jen Yemola: No, chef.

Gordon: Yeah the fucking weak link is gone, now you should start fucking working as a team!

Rock: Don't jump when you say jump!

Bonnie: Stop, stop, stop.

Rock: Who the fuck you think you're talking to.

Bonnie: Stop!

Gordon: I can not run this kitchen like this!

Jen Yemola: Big man. Big man.

Rock: Big man shit.

Gordon: SHUT THE FUCK UP!! [bangs the overhead] Enough's enough.

Rock: Big man shit!

Bonnie: You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee, one panna cotta, and then we're done.

Narrator: Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Rock: Simple ass broad.

Jen Yemola: You're crazy.

Narrator: ...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.

Episode Nine [3.09]

[Gordon has introduced his mother to the three remaining chefs]

Gordon: Rock, no cursing.

Rock: No, chef.

Gordon: Never ever in front of your mum.

Episode Ten [3.10]

Episode Eleven [3.11]

[Deleted Scene]

Scott Leibfried: (to Josh right before dinner service) You two need to get it together right fucking now! Don't make any of your stupid fucking things for Rock or I will take you outside and beat the shit out of you! You fuck him over and I'm coming after you! You got it? You got it?

Josh: Yes, chef.

Scott Leibfried: You understand me? Look at my eyes, I am coming for you if you fuck him over! You got it?

Josh: I will not fuck him over.

Scott Leibfried: (to Vinnie) You too!

[Deleted Scene]

Vinnie: How long on the garnish? Chef Scott?

Scott Leibfried: Am I in charge of the garnish now because you two fucking dickheads can't handle it? Green beans are coming right up. How long on the garnish? Because you two douchebags can't handle it. "How long on the fucking garnish?" I love that. What's the next pickup?

Rock: Surf and turf snapper?

Scott Leibfried: I'm not fucking talking to either one of you schmucks! Shut your fucking mouths, alright?

Episode One [4.01]

[the fifteen chefs enter Hell's Kitchen and meet Jean Philippe. Among them is Gordon in disguise.]

Jean Philippe: Welcome to Hell's Kitchen. You must be all very excited to meet Chef Gordon Ramsay. Actually, I'm quite good at doing an impression of him. "ONE SPAGHETTI! ONE RISOTTO! ONE CRAB! WHAT IS THIS?! NOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S OVERCOOKED!!" What about you? Can you do a little impression of Gordon?

Shayna: "WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE?!!"

Jean Philippe: How about you?

Jason: "Come on! Where is it?!"

Jean Philippe: I think you're going to have to work on it. What about you big guy?

Gordon: (steps up front) Jean Philippe, it's time to open Hell's Kitchen.

Bobby: (interview) Damn, he's doing it real good.

Gordon: Come here, you! You donkey!

Shayna: (interview) Wait a minute.

Gordon: STOP! Shut it down!

Louross: (interview) I know that voice.

Gordon: That's right. It's me. (removes his disguise. The chefs start screaming and hollering.)

Rosann: (interview) Oh, my God! I've been sitting next to the chef on the bus the whole fucking time!

Dominic: (interview) Whoo! Didn't know it was coming.

Gordon: Halt! Let's see if you guys can actually cook as well as you shout off on the bus. And you, the black Gordon Ramsay right?

Bobby: Yes sir. Four star general.

Gordon: Time to button it now and start cooking. Get in there and cook me your signature dishes. Let's go!

[Signature Dishes]

Gordon: Please god, let there be something on the next plate. [reveals Matt's signature dish] Woah.

Matt: (interview) My signature dish is going to help me stand out, because I'm a true culinary. I understand what Gordon's looking for.

Gordon: What is it?

Matt: I call it Exotic Tartare. Because it's with venison and diver scallops, with caviar and white chocolate and...

Gordon: Whoa stop. Let me get this right again. Either that or I'm just about to be Punk'd. Diver scallops chopped up, caviar and white chocolate. Do you smoke?

Matt: Cigarettes?

Gordon: No. Raw venison, raw quail egg, lime zest, olive oil, scallops, caviar and grated white chocolate. [takes a taste] Capers as well. [chews for about 15 seconds then throws up in the bin.]

Narrator: After a disastrous start to the signature dish tasting, Chef Ramsay has lost more than just his hope.

Gordon: That must be one of the worst combinations I've ever tasted in 21 years of cooking. Piss off will you?

Matt: (interview) I really don't understand what Chef Ramsay didn't like about the dish. I'm a little boggled on that.

Gordon: [picks up the platter and throws it into the trash can] Unreal!

Narrator: With Rosann's dish receiving a good review from Chef Ramsay, things might be looking up.

Gordon: [reveals Petrozza's dish, which is a whole pumpkin] Oh, fuck me...

Narrator: ...Or are they?

Gordon: What in the fuck? Happy Halloween?

Petrozza: (interview) People ask me what my speciality is. But, I don't have a speciality; I can cook anything.

Gordon: What is that?

Petrozza: There's a Cornish hen inside, Chef.

Gordon: A Cornish hen? What'd you do to it to get it in there?

Petrozza: It got in there-- I got it in-- I got it in there.

Gordon: Holy shit. [removes the pumpkin] These are potatoes?

Petrozza: Yes, sir.

Gordon: In how much grease and fat and oil did you fry them?

Petrozza: There's some butter in there.

Gordon: [holding up the potatoes, letting a ton of grease run off his arm] Some butter in that?

Petrozza: That's a lot of butter.

Gordon: Well, just stop there. That goes in there. [scrapes the potatoes into the bin] And let's see what we got for trick-or-treat, shall we?

Petrozza: Okay.

Gordon: [removes the top of the pumpkin] Oh, my god... How do you get in there and eat it? I mean, am I missing a trick?

Petrozza: It's plated tableside.

Gordon: Oh.

Petrozza: It's- it's presented like that.

Gordon: Alright, off you go. [Petrozza splits the pumpkin open, revealing a greasy blob of food] Oh, my god. Okay, stop right there. I don't think I'll get through that, do you?

Petrozza: Okay, no.

Gordon: So, what's the, uh... dish called?

Petrozza: "Hen in a Pumpkin."

Gordon: Right now, looking at that mess, I'd like to stick your fucking head in there, you know that. [tastes the dish] It's dry.

Petrozza: Yeah, well...

Gordon: And the pumpkin's not even seasoned inside, it's bland! You'd have a better chance of sticking a candle in there for Halloween to make me happy than you would sticking a hen in there. Fuck off.

Petrozza: (interview) Chef Ramsay said he was looking for something memorable. And you know, I believe my dish was memorable.

Gordon: Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?

Bobby: Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.

[Gordon puts his hand over his face and Christina raises her hand]

Gordon: Matt, what are the five entrées?

Matt: Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.

Gordon: WHAT!? Petrozza WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?

Petrozza: Um... um...

Narrator: Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...

Ben: (interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!

Gordon: My God! Christina what are the five entrées?

Christina: We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.

Gordon: Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)

Christina: (smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!

Gordon: Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!

Matt: (interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.

Gordon: Sharon, enough's enough! Fuck off and go put some more makeup on!

[Petrozza is performing tableside flambés in the dining room.]

Gordon: Petrozza, don't set the room on fire you donkey!

Gordon: Scallops, risotto, how long?

Jason: Right now, right now. [brings his risotto to the pass]

Gordon: Where's the scallops? [Dominic is still holding raw scallops in his hand] What's he done?

Scott Leibfried: They're like little burnt bits of something here.

Gordon: Oh, my God. The rice is overcooked.

Jason: Ow, that's hot!

Gordon: Hey you, come here! I've had enough! You can't even get two fucking dishes together. That's how shit you've been! I don't want any more embarrassments. I JUST WANT TO GO WITH SOME FOOD!!

Narrator: It's over an hour into the first dinner service, and Jason is about to get an invitation.

Gordon: Sit down and eat that! I want you to taste what you are trying to serve Hell's Kitchen. Sit down. Let me know when you're done. I'll get dessert!

Jason: (interview) I am horribly embarrassed at myself. I should've fucking stayed home.

Gordon: Stuff your face, you bastard!

Gordon: [returning Sharon's eggs to the workstation] Who turn the eggs around like that? You served eggs like that?

Christina: (interview) Hello! I know it thinks that hard to fry an egg.

Gordon: [sees a fried egg with in disgust] I want them up! OH, COME ON!!! (to Rosann) Rosann, can you take control?

Rosann: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Vanessa, get the captain's badge on from your fucking arm will you?!

(Gives the badge to Rosann)

Gordon: Rosann, away!

Rosann: Okay ladies, come on let's get one scallop, one caesar to this window, how long?

Vanessa: (interview) I sat out as captain and its pretty bad.

Gordon: (to Dominic and his scallops) Touch that. Rubber. They're rubber! They're like a ball elastic bands. It's like a fucking golf ball. Golf ball!

Dominic: (interview) I couldn't sauté a scallop to save my ass tonight.

Gordon: Everything you cooked, you screwed. Have you ever cooked a scallop before?

Dominic: (interview) Whooooo! What a disaster!

Gordon: He hasn't got the tuna in! Why are you putting more scallops in there? And you're like this on the scallops. [mocks Dominic, holding out his right hand with a shocked face] Oh, fuck ME! SHIT! Bobby.

Bobby: Yes?

Gordon: I'm looking for someone to take control of this disgusting, embarrassing mess. He (Jason) doesn't give a fuck, he's (Dominic) dreaming, he's (Matt) standing there pissing his pants looking for his tartare, caviar and white chocolate crap! And he's (Louross) just running around like a toilet brush. IS ANYONE GOING TO TAKE CONTROL?!!

Dominic: Jump in there, Bobby. Jump in there, baby.

Bobby: I don't want to jump in! You guys, you guys got it over there! It's going to make so much confusion if I get in over there. You've got six sets of hands over there, you don't need eight sets. I don't want to join the chaos.

Craig: (interview) He's the captain. I mean, to just be like, "Yeah, uh, I don't want to get in this chaos," that's like saying "Fuck you, I quit!"

[After yet another failed attempt by the blue team to serve their first appetizers]

Scott: (with some bland sauce) Yeah, that's bland. It looks terrible.

Gordon: (to the blue team) Come here! Taste that, all of you! [the men come over and start tasting the sauce] Run Dominic! You lazy fucker! And you put your fingers in there. Aw, my God! [takes a spoonful out, lets it drip] Look. Snot! [tosses the sauce away] Fuck off. [kicks the bins] USELESS FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT!! YOU ALL KNOW IT'S CRAP, NOT ONE OF YOU HAVE GOT THE BALLS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

Jason: I haven't tasted it yet.

Louross: Guys, it's just simple! Go man, come on, just redo it! Season it with a bit of salt and pepper, that's all. (interview) I didn't see anyone taste their food today. You just need to get into your groove, as if you're making love to the kitchen.

Gordon: (to Bobby) Hey, you, take that badge off, give it to that little fucker over there! Thank god someone's got a set of balls!

Bobby: (interview) I'm not the type to be like, "Oh, my God, I'm a bad chef now." No, no, not at all! Louross can have that captain's position. I'm still a general. To me, he's still a private.

Narrator: As Louross tries to whip the blue team into shape, the red team has served appetizers to three more tables.

Rosann: Are we ready now with that beef?

Corey: We're ready.

Narrator: And are starting their first entrées.

Gordon: (with a piece of chicken) Who cooked this chicken?

Corey: I did chef.

Gordon: Come here! Let's get all together now.

Rosann: Come on, ladies!

Gordon: You hold the chicken.

Rosann: Yes sir. Oh shit!

Gordon: Pass it around.

Corey: (interview) I thought either a pan was going to get thrown, glass was going to get shattered. Someone was getting hurt.

Gordon: Throw me the ball. [Sharon throws the chicken to Gordon] Let's fucking play rounders! [throws the chicken hard against the oven]

Corey: (interview) It happened to be the chicken so, sorry to the chicken.

Gordon: It's rubber! Plastic dry shit!

[the customers have begun leaving. Jean-Philippe returns to the pass]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe: They are leaving, chef.

Gordon: What?

[cuts to the leaving diners]

Jean-Philippe: It's going empty.

Gordon: (to both teams) STOP!! Look out there! Your customers have gone! SHUT IT DOWN! Clear down...

Episode Two [4.02]

Gordon: Good morning!

Contestants: Good morning, chef.

Gordon: Bright and breezy!

Contestants: [groaning] Yes, chef.

Gordon: With everything you all wasted last night, any restaurant would've gone out of business. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU PUT IN THE TRASH LAST NIGHT hey guys hup! [garbage truck drives up] I've never seen so much fantastic produce wasted. NOW EVERY rubber chicken breast, EVERY overcooked risotto, EVERY rock hard potato you binned last night. Get it out and put it back in the cylinders, move!

[Contestants head towards the garbage truck]

Jason: (interview) We're fucking playing through garbage this is going to suck!

Gordon: You should be ashamed of yourselves. We're not talking about a couple hundred dollars, we're in for thousands of dollars there just carelessly put in the trash as if no-one gives a fuck. You all better start giving a damn. Now go and get showered and meet me in the kitchen. You stink!

Bobby: (interview) I've never been on a yacht before. The only boat I've gotten close to was The Love Boat on TV.

Gordon: Petrozza

Petrozza: Yes?

Gordon: The menu, five appetisers, what are they?

Petrozza: The appetizers... Caesar salad with... with fresh anchovies and seared uh... tuna the um... the um... the um... [chuckles quietly]

Gordon: Stop! Do me a favour: get out.

Petrozza: Okay.

Gordon: Hey, look at me. UPSTAIRS! HEY! AND READ THAT FUCKING MENU! And listen, you're station stands unmanned until you get your fucking shit together!

Petrozza: Okay.

Gordon: Hurry up! [Petrozza leaves the kitchen to memorize the menu] Is it really too much to know the menu inside and out? Eat, drink, sleep, breathe it? I've got 3,000 dishes between my ears. Pathetic.

[Gordon checks on tenderloins brought up by Petrozza]

Gordon: I's not even fucking hot! [calls Petrozza] Come here, Petrozza! Oh, here we fucking go. Touch that. You, touch that. (to Bobby) Please touch that. There you go. Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch.

Petrozza: It's rare. It's rare. It needs more fire.

Gordon: Awwww, [throws spoon] SHIT! SHIT!

[Sharon brings her meat to the pass]

Gordon: (to Sharon) Where's the beef?

Sharon: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: (reads a ticket) Two salmon, one beef, one wellington. Unbelievable. Have you asked Christina?

Sharon: No, I didn't. I thought it was coming. She (Christina) just yelled that it was coming.

Gordon: You're not really a chef, aren't you? You're just a showgirl with a big feather coming out of your arse.

Gordon: You (Christina) and you (Sharon) are putting the kitchen to shit. Can you move and wake up a bit, please, yes?

Christina: Yes, chef!

Gordon: You're both pissing around like a pair of Barbie twins! [Sharon sticks her tongue out] Sharon, you're scaring me. You look like the female version of fucking Hannibal Lecter. Put your fucking tongue in and concentrate.

Sharon: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hannibal!

[Matt's garnish pan catches fire]

Gordon: Watch, he's going to set this place on fire. What the fuck are you trying to do? You can't fucking win in here so you set the place on fire!

Matt: No, chef.

Gordon: Is that your little motive?

Matt: No, not at all chef.

Gordon: Yeah? I've never seen such fucking flames from gnocchi!

Matt: Sorry chef, won't happen again.

Jean-Philippe: (to a customer) It's raw? Okay, we'll do another one for you. (brings the dish to the pass)

Gordon: Oh, fuck off...

Jean-Philippe: That's Table 31, Chef. This is not cooked.

Gordon: Blue? Come here, you!! Oi, all of you, come here!! (to Sharon) You've stopped! (to Christina) You've given up! (to Matt) You're setting the place on fire! (to Jason) And you're sending me raw fish, that's fucking cold and fucking raw! [angrily throws the fish in the bin]

Jason: It's not mine.

Gordon: "It's not mine." How dare you. It's just come back from the table!!

Jason: Oh, okay.

Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN!! (to Jean-Philippe) GET THE FUCKERS OUT!!!

[Corey has nominated Christina and Jen for elimination and they have stepped forward for elimination]

Gordon: Christina, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen? Truthfully?

Christina: I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I am intelligent chef. If I am being condescending to someone like Corey, she needs to come tell me, it's not something I'd do to her to be personal. I will get better and I will [starts crying] fight for it... that's why I should stay.

Gordon: Thank you. Jen, why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

'Jen Gavin: It's unfortunate for you, that you don't get to see what goes on when we do prep chef. I'm a beast back there. I know what I'm doing, I work hard and I get the food out, [abridges Jen's absurdly long plea and shortened clips of some of her sentences] There's so much creativity and I really ask you to give me the opportunity chef because this is not the end for me, it's really not.

Gordon: Breathe!

Jen Gavin: I'm breathing chef... May I say one last thing?

Gordon: Oh fuck me!

Jen Gavin: Alright.

Gordon: Before I make my decision, there's something I'd like to say. This is one of the most important prizes ever! An executive chef's decision in my own restaurant. I am not just gonna give this job to someone who I do not believe in. And there's someone here that I just don't believe in. [brief pause] So, the person leaving Hell's Kitchen is... Sharon!

Corey: (whispers) Fuck!

Gordon: Sharon clearly showed great attention to detail. Unfortunately, it wasn't for her cooking. It was for her makeup.

Episode Three [4.03]

[In the last episode, Corey nominated Christina and Jen and this made Christina angry and tearful due to how blindsided she felt]

Christina: (interview) I'm feeling really angry. Corey is threatened by me and she should be (to Corey) You threw me under the bus

Corey: So what, you might think I'm a bitch. I don't care.

Christina: [shouts back in tears] What you said was vindictive and it's evil!

Corey: (interview) The whole team hated me. I don't care, it doesn't matter to me whatever they think. If they do alienate me that's fine that's probably going to make me stand out even more as a stronger player.

[Ben, Bobby, Petrozza, Matt and Louross are down at the patio talking about Corey's strategy]

Ben: Corey played that too early in the game.

Petrozza: (interview) I think Corey has evil tendencies I truly do. She's put scars on that team that will not heal.

Bobby: Yeah, she played a dangerous game and she lost that game.

[during the chicken cutting challenge]

Jason: (interview) We're going to win because we're men. This ain't the dusting housekeeping challenge here.

Gordon: Jason

Jason: Yes, chef. (interview after the Red team had cut all but 4 acceptable pieces of chicken) The girls surprised me. They did good but we're going to win because we're fucking men here. Come on. I've been butchering meat. That's what men do. There's no way we're losing.

Gordon: (to Jason) Hands off my desk, please. (showing a poorly cut chicken from Jason) Holy Mackerel, did you fucked the chicken? What did you do to that?

Jason: That one was a little messed up

Gordon: A little messed up. It's fucked. My god.

[Craig has single-handedly lost the challenge for the Blue Team and they're all angry at him and Ben plans to throw peppers at Craig on the corn field]

Ben: (to Bobby and Petrozza) Tell you what we're going to get on that field, I'm going to start throwing motherfucking peppers at Craig.

[Matt angrily slams items on to his bed and throws his jacket in to his wardrobe. Followed by slamming his farm work clothes on his bed and angrily putting his clothes on and angrily kicks an item]

Matt: (interview) For someone that's been in this industry for thirteen years Craig phoning that chicken. I felt like I was watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and he just had shock treatment. (imitates shock treatment) I don't get it! (angrily throws his shoe in the wardrobe)

Narrator: As the men go off for a day of hard labor, Chef Ramsay and the women are off to the Sunset Strip. Little does Chef know...

Gordon: Okay. Off we go.

Narrator: One of Hell's Kitchen's former chefs is a regular at the Saddle Ranch.

[The mechanical bull turns around, and it reveals that it's Aaron on the mechanical bull]

Aaron: Yee-hah! Howdy, Chef Ramsay!

Gordon: Oh, my God.

Aaron: [goes over and hugs Gordon] Good to see you, Chef.

Gordon: I feel like crying. [pretends to cry] [flashback to season 3 where Aaron cried minutes before service]

Aaron: [laughs] Don't cry, Chef!

Gordon: Jason, you're on desserts. Don't eat any.

Ben: Salmon, medium.

Scott: [spots that the salmon is burnt] What's wrong with that salmon?

Ben: It's a little, uh...

Scott: WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME IF IT'S BURNT?!?

Ben: (interview) I sent up, you know, perfect medium salmon, and he sent it back. It had a little, uh, tiny burnt edge on the side. I mean, this is craziness.

Gordon: You can't cook a fucking salmon?

Ben: I can cook a salmon, chef. Yes I can. Just a lot of pressure, different kitchen, different... different cooking techniques than I'm used to.

Gordon: Cook me a salmon, medium. Can you do that?

Ben: Yes, chef.

Gordon: "Different techniques?"

Narrator: While General Bobby feeds his troops in the Blue dining room, customers on the Red side are sending out distress signals.

[Cut to a table, where customers have spelled "S.O.S" with pieces of bread.]

Narrator: ...But the diners aren't the only ones in need of rescue.

[Cut to the Red kitchen, where Rosann's meat pan catches fire.]

Gordon: Oh, no. Oh, no, come on. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stand back! Stand back! Stand BACK!! [removes the meat from the pan] There's cooking, and there's fucking bonfire-- STAND BACK!! Same shit, different day. [throws the pan in the sink, where the fire blows up, then dies.] This is fucking embarrassing!!

Rosann: (interview) My mind is racing, my heart is pounding...

Gordon: That's not a fucking sauté pan, that's a FURNACE!!! LOOK AT THE MEAT!!

Rosann: (interview) I blew four pieces of meat on there. It was just really horrible for me. I'm hoping I'm never going to have that happen again.

Gordon: IT'S SCORCHED!!! Cooking, my arse!!

Narrator: As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrées, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.

Jason: Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is. (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, you know? It ain't my thing. (to Louross) ...5 minutes for the crème brûlée, so I have two of those in.

Louross: Your crème brûlée's done already!

Jason: No, it's not. That's not cooked.

Louross: That's cooked!

Jason: Oh, Jesus Christ. (interview) The soufflés looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, because I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!

Gordon: Jason!

Jason: Yes?

Gordon: What's happening with the desserts?

Jason: The soufflés are not coming out at all; they're sticking!

Gordon: Come here a minute.

Jason: Okay. [goes over to Gordon] I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.

Gordon: (in a fast tone) So, are we going to take it off the menu, are we going to do something constructive, are we going to do anything about it...

Jason: I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm going to take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.

Gordon: You're going to get some sugar and rub it around the rim?

Jason: Sugar-- no, no-- sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. :[Gordon goes over to the hotplate and repeatedly bangs his head on the counter]

Scott: Salmon, chef.

Gordon: I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Ben: Oh, maybe a little under.

Gordon: It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT!! What in the fuck is GOING ON? [kicks the bins] All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Ben: Different techniques.

Gordon: [throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED?! Christina, you made an effort to get all the appetisers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear. The attitude was strong. Get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Red and Blue team: Yes, chef.

[Bobby waves to some ladies that he served tableside]

Gordon: [calls out Bobby] Bob! Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!!

Bobby: Yes.

Gordon: Jack-arse waving at them! What do we got to wave about?! I DON'T CARE! GET OUT!!!

[after Jason's been eliminated by Chef Ramsay]

Gordon: You gave up before we started tonight. I call you back in the kitchen and you haven't got the balls to stand there and put yourself back there. [slapping his wrist] GAME OVER!

Jason: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Good night.

Jason: (interview after elimination) You know the last girls (Christina & Vanessa) that got put up on the block they start crying and maybe if I would cry like some old pansy, some chick you know, maybe I would be back upstairs chilling right now but I can't do that. I'm a man and I'm sure as hell I'm ain't going to cry about it. I am however going to go get drunk.

Episode Four [4.04]

[Ben has to clean up all the manure outside the restaurant.]

Scott: This is what happens when you don't win challenges, Ben.

Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service, blue diners are enjoying their appetizers.

Boy: The onion rings are good. I like them.

Narrator: The onion rings are getting positive reviews.

[Cut to a blue table where a boy is biting into a raw chicken wing cooked by Matt]

Narrator: The chicken however...

Gordon: (As Jean-Philippe returns the chicken.) Oh no. Oh no! Raw chicken?

Jean-Philippe: Yeah, raw chicken chef.

Gordon: Oh fucking hell. GENTLEMEN!! [slams the plates down] RAW CHICKEN! Matt! [kicks the bins] Pink and bloody! [throws the chicken in the bin] Come here you. Fucking prick!

Matt: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What the fuck are you doing?

Matt: Yes, chef. Sorry chef, it won't happen again.

Craig: (interview) Oh, my God. That's pretty major. If a kid is biting into a chicken wing that's raw, that's just fucking nasty.

Gordon: It's the tartare again with you isn't it?

[Flashback to day 1 where Matt's Exotic Tartare made Gordon vomit.']

Gordon: That's what it is, isn't it? That's what you can do?

Matt: No it's not chef. (interview) I was this close to his face and I didn't even blink at him.

Gordon: You can manage to fuck up raw food. WAKE UP!!

Matt: Yes, chef! (interview) I'm not going to break. I'm not here to break. He's not going to break me as a person.

Gordon: [angrily pushes pans on the workstation] DONKEY!!

[Gordon checks on burgers brought up by Matt]

Gordon: Why's the fucking burger's so small? [calls Matt] Hey you, Matt!

Matt: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Come here with those burgers. Why are we cooking the burgers off so early on? They're like ice hockey pucks! [throws the burgers to Louross, Petrozza and Bobby] Catch. Catch, catch, there you go. Hey look, there you go. Up, up. Are we a fast food joint now?

Blue team: No, chef!

Gordon: And you're standing there with your little balls of fucking, look at them, fucking SHIT! [flings a burger against the refrigerator] (to Bobby) Bobby? Can someone get a grip in here?! CAN WE NOT COOK A BURGER TO ORDER?!

Blue team: Yes, chef!!

Gordon: Then DO IT!! [kicks the bins]

Ben: This is what we've been talking about!

Bobby: Go big Ben!

Ben: What's up? [high fives Bobby] They can't break us! Not tonight! Not tonight!

Gordon: Ben, I can see it from here. Glad you think it's one big old fucking jolly!

Ben: (interview) I was just telling Bobby, "Hey man, good job!" You know.

Gordon: Wasting my fucking time, effort and fucking money. Okay, what's the joke?

Ben: We were just congratulating each other, because we're getting the food out. That's all we were doing.

Gordon: [points at the blue team's remaining tickets] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 tables of entrées to go, they've got two tables to go. So, if I was you, I'd dig deep, touch your balls, and wake up!

Gordon: Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a fucking meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clams?

Craig: Right here, chef.

[Gordon eats a piece of spaghetti, and instantly spits it back out]

Gordon: Fuck! [kicks a bin] Raw!

Ben Caylor: Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.

Craig: I got it, I got it, I got it.

Gordon: So, how long?

[Craig tries to snatch a pair of tongs from Bobby]

Craig: I got it.

Bobby: [pulling the tongs back] These are mine.

Gordon: He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.

Ben Caylor: Craig, answer the chef already!

Craig: TWO MINUTES!!

Narrator: While the men wait two minutes for Craig's spaghetti...

[After completing service, the red team comes in to help the blue team.]

Gordon: Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.

Ben: (interview) The thing is, it's embarrassing that chef called them in to come help.

Gordon: (to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.

Ben: I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.

Gordon: You thought you were fucking close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic. Shayna.

Shayna: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Stay next to Chef Craig.

Shayna: What do you need?

Craig: I got it. I got it. I got it.

Shayna: (interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."

Shayna: What do you need?

Craig: I got it.

Shayna: Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.

Louross: Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.

Gordon: Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.

Louross: (to Craig) How long?

Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?

Shayna: You're burning, you're burning.

Gordon: He's not even giving me an answer.

Matt: Come on, answer him, please!

Gordon: He's making me feel fucking nervous!

Craig: [burns his hand] Fuck!

Gordon: Hello?!

Ben: Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!

Gordon: How long for the fucking clam?

Craig: It's coming up right NOWWWW! Fucking listen! [angrily throws a pan to one side]

Gordon: Oh, my fucking god.

Rosann: You got some attitude, son!

Gordon: Ben, what you've done and the ambitions, you do seriously surprise me.

Ben: Thank you, chef, I-I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.

Gordon: You surprise me to how shit you are!

Ben: Oh... thank you.

Gordon: I was expecting more. Hey, maybe you shouldn't have quit your fucking day job so early!

[Matt, Craig and Ben are nominated for elimination]

Gordon: All three of you should walk through that door.

Ben: I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.

Matt: I'm going to give you 125%.

Craig: I don't know percentages but just over that.

Gordon: I can teach someone how to cook but Craig was a bad cook with an even worse attitude. There was no hope for him.

Episode Five [4.05]

Gordon: [checking Rosann's runny mashed potatoes] Oh come on! You, fucking piss cream. What is that shit?

Rosann: Oh, I'm sorry.

Gordon: Fuck off, will you yeah? Is that how you're going to fucking respect these tables?

Rosann: Absolutely not chef.

Gordon: "Absolutely not chef."

Rosann: (interview) I started getting really fucking frustrated because I couldn't catch up and I was just falling behind. So it was only just getting more and more hectic for me.

Gordon: I don't know when you're going to think about waking up but hey, soon I would appreciate it madam.

Rosann: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Pathetic. This is what you're doing... [taps the spoon on the veg pan] Would you stop tapping and start concentrating?!

Rosann: Okay, my mistake, chef.

Gordon: Oh, fucking right it was your mistake! I need the mashed and the carrots now!

Rosann: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Mashed, carrots now! I can't go unless I've got the veg! What is going on Rosann? Oh my god, almighty. This is fucking meltdown. Out of the way please. [tastes the mashed potatoes] Oh, fucking hell! No salt. (to the servers) Go, go, go. Send the vegetables separate. She gets confused over a fucking vegetable [Rosann now brings the garnish to the pass] Fuck off will you yeah? FUCK OFF! They're gone! Get away! The lamb, wellington's already gone! Fuck all! [sits in fetal position] Rosann!

Rosann: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Not good enough!

Gordon: Hey guys. Louross, come here!

Louross: Chef!

Gordon: Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!

Louross: Still kind of lukewarm, chef.

Gordon: What did I request, temperature?

Louross: Medium well, chef.

Gordon: Get it back in the pan!

Louross: (interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?

Gordon: The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?

Louross: I know how to cook a steak, chef!

Gordon: So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?

Louross: (to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!

Gordon: Come on, Louross!

Louross: Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

[Louross brings his steak to the pass]

Scott: (checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?

Louross: I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -

Scott: No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?

Louross: Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?

Petrozza: Nah I.. No. That one won't work?

Louross: No, that one's not going to work.

Narrator: With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.

Louross: Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're gonna do.

Narrator: But Petrozza has a plan.

Petrozza: [notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.

Louross: It's not going to work, it's not going to work.

Petrozza: This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!

Louross: It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

[Petrozza slices a thin part of the beef off to show the center]

Louross: (interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!

Petrozza: How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.

Scott: Hey Louross, where's that beef?

Petrozza: Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]

Scott: Much better.

Episode Six [4.06]

[Christina brings up the risotto for the birthday girl for Melissa]

Christina: Two risotto in my hands, chef!

Gordon: [notices that there are no mushrooms in the risotto] Where are the mushrooms?

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: No, where are the mushrooms? [places the pan back on the stove] Just look, they're white!

Christina: Putting them in right now. [takes the pan off the stove]

Gordon: Put the pan on the stove please!? Thank you, more mushrooms!

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Come on, Christina!

Christina: Yes, chef! [places the mushrooms in]

Gordon: There's not any mushrooms in there!

[Gordon notices Bobby is on the fish station which is Matt's station]

Gordon: Why's Bobby on the fish? What's going on there?

Matt: He's helping me out, we're working as a team.

Gordon: Well there's a big difference between helping him out and running the section!

Bobby: (interview) If we left it up to Matt. We would've done very very poorly so I caught it before it got to that point.

Gordon: Bobby, little fine for the team spirit helping them out, but did you listen to what I said? You're cooking it, he's (Matt) running around wiping your arse (to Matt) and the said thing about you, hey, you let him. If I was running this section and I was in Hell's Kitchen running the fish, give me this give me that, I'm staying here, I'm cooking!

Matt: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [whispers in Matt's ear] You can only hide for so long.

Matt: I'm not hiding, chef. I'm not hiding at all. I wasn't trying to hide, chef.

Gordon: You're doing a fucking good job of hiding. [Matt still tries to argue he wasn't] Look at me! I'VE MADE IT FUCKING CLEAR! Do you want to argue now or are you going to run your station?

Matt: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Every 16 year-old girl filled out these comment cards this evening. Gentlemen, out of all the customers you cooked for tonight, 98% of them said they'd come back. Brilliant! Ladies, on the other hand... 99% of your customers would come back. [the women cheer loudly, while the men look dismayed] Actually, tonight, there's no losing team. I can't seriously decide on a winning team on a difference of 1%.

Matt: Thank you, chef, for your generosity...

Gordon: Fuck the generosity, Matt. Both teams think of one individual, up for elimination, to leave Hell's Kitchen tonight. Now, piss off.

Matt: (interview) Chef Ramsay still wants two people chosen, and I'm going to be the one chosen for the blue team, and now I'm packing my bags.

Gordon: Matt, you've peaked, right?

Matt: No, chef, I haven't peaked yet.

Gordon: So why should you stay in Hell's Kitchen?

Matt: Chef, I should stay in Hell's Kitchen because I was pushed and bullied off of my section tonight, while others on my team was hiding behind one person.

Gordon: Who pushed you off your section?

Matt: Bobby pushed me off of my section.

Gordon: You hid behind Bobby!

Matt: Ben hides behind Bobby! Not me.

Gordon: He took over your section!

Matt: He pushed me off my section, would not let me back on...

Gordon: Look at the size of you! There's 250 pounds in there. Louross's balls are bigger than yours!

Matt: I don't even have a voice in my kitchen, no one listens to me. I guarantee you, if you put me on the red team, you will see the failure in the blue team.

Gordon: You want to cook with the girls?

Matt: I have no shame in working with women in the kitchen chef.

Gordon: Un-fucking real.

[After eliminating Shayna]

Gordon: Oh, and by the way, "Mattie."

Matt: Yes, chef?

Gordon: First thing tomorrow morning, you're cooking with the girls.

Matt: Thank you, chef. [Corey whispering a profanity]

Episode Seven [4.07]

[Before the final round of the blind taste test]

Gordon: Now, listen up. There's been some great rivalries out there. Yankees versus Red Sox.

Matt: Go Yankees!

Gordon: Tyson versus Holyfield, yes? Now, ladies and gentlemen, Matt versus Ben! Let's go.

Gordon: Ben! Quickly, here. [Ben slowly comes to the pass] Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. Fucking hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!

Ben: Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.

Gordon: Hey, do you know what? You are so fucking sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.

Ben: I'm just being honest with you.

Gordon: Yeah, I know that. I'm being fucking honest with you!

Matt: (to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.

Gordon: You're one of the most fucking saddest I've ever met in a fucking kitchen. "It takes a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr Phil!

Gordon: (to Petrozza) Hey, you! Just come over here!

Petrozza: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Come here a minute, yeah? Just turn around...

Petrozza: Yeah.

Gordon: ...and look at the fucking mess!

Petrozza: It's a mess.

Gordon: No, come here. Come here! Crap on top of crap on top of crap on top of crap!

Petrozza: (interview) My station was messy, there's no question about it.

Gordon: Just look here! Look, look. From there to there! (throws washcloth at Petrozza) GET IT CLEAN!

Petrozza: Yes, chef! (interview) Wasn't as organized as I could have been. Period! Usually I have people cleaning up after me, but certainly not here.

[Gordon checks on langoustine brought up by Rosann]

Gordon: Oh, fucking hell, what is she doing? Put the pan down! Put it down! Put the pan down! Just fucking let go. Look, this-this is where you are. Just-just stop, this is where you are. Touch that. [Jen walks away] Hey, hey, just come here! Fucking come here! All of you. That's you as well, stroppy face. I don't know what it is with you, but you've given up and it fucking shows! Just the way you mope, the way you turn, and the fucking chips on your shoulder. I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

Jen: (interview) Well, what the fuck? You don't want me say nothing so I'm not going to say shit! Now, that I'm not saying nothing, you're pissed off because I'm not saying nothing. I just can't win for losing!

Gordon: Touch that!

Rosann: It's shit.

Gordon: Yeah, it's shit. [throws the langoustine at Matt] Fucking right, it's shit! (to Matt) Did it hurt?

Matt: No, chef.

Gordon: Fucking sue me! Hey, look at me, hey. Because the response is fucking shocking. No one gives a damn! Now I've got raw, stone-cold, fucking langoustine! Raw, stone-cold LANGOUSTINE!

Rosann: Yes, chef.

Gordon: How long for those two wellingtons?

Ben: I have that wellington, chef.

Gordon: Come here, you. What is going on? You've got one. Which one have you got?

Ben: I've got both of the wellingtons.

Gordon: Listen to me. Which one is ready?

[long pause]

Ben: There is nothing ready on that ticket yet.

Gordon: I'm aware you've GOT them! I need to tell the customers how fucking long.

Ben: Give me six minutes, please, chef.

Gordon: For a well-done wellington?

Ben: Yes, chef. (interview) Back at home, I ran kitchens for years and, you know, no problem. It's just that he comes over there and gets so fucking riled up, and then he gets you all fluster-fucked, and you don't know what you're doing! (to Petrozza) Petrozza, where's the mise-en-place for the lamb? Because I'm going to be three short.

Gordon: What?!

Petrozza: I'll wrap you some lamb, just as soon as I-

Gordon: (to Ben) Hey, come here you! SAY THAT AGAIN?! What time did that ticket come on?

Ben: 6:30.

Gordon: And what time is it now?

Ben: [looks at the wall clock] 8 o'clock.

Gordon: You're joking are you? We ran out of lamb? They've fired the fucking entrées, and you're telling me now?

Ben: I got it, chef. I'll take care of it.

Gordon: Ohhh, fucking hell...

Matt: Damn, Jen. And I was the problem over there? (interview) Ben wanted to use me as a scapegoat and put me out there. Said that I'm the weakest, and I hide behind everyone. The scapegoat's there, and you got no-one to blame. You can't cook, buddy!

Gordon: (to Ben) Can you fucking wake up? I'm coming to the end of it, now!

Gordon: [to Rosann] How long for that salmon?

Rosann: I need five minutes, Chef.

Gordon: [to Jen] Have you got the garnish for the salmon?

Jen: [with her back turned to Gordon] No, I didn't hear that either.

Gordon: Hey, you! Don't look at me when you talk to me!

Jen: I just said, "No!" I was putting my food in here, Chef.

Gordon: Hey, Jen, look at me. You're one fucking cocky lady, for someone who knows jack-shit, you know that?

Jen: Yes, Chef.

Gordon: You're so far up your own arse you don't know how fucking cocky you are.

Jen: (interview) He said I was cocky, but it's like, "What the fuck?" I-I combo every time I see him so how the fuck am I cocky?

Gordon: (to Jen and Rosann) That's there beef sliced, sourced, ready garnish there, salmon not ready. It's the story all the night you can't even get two fucking dishes together. That's how shit you've (Rosann and Jen) been. Yeah fuck, fuck off! (slams the table's entrées on to Jen's station) Start THE FUCKING TABLE AGAIN!!! I've had enough for me okay? It's not good enough for me, I've had ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

Jen: (interview) I-I can't please that man and for him to turn and throw a fucking full ass tray of food on my station like I'm some kind of dog. Don't nobody disrespect me like that! I'm getting tired of this shit right know, I really am!

Gordon: [to Jen] I've had enough. I can't tell you anything anymore, I can't even give you any directions, do you know why? You're undirectable, because it's like [mocks Jen] muh. Oh, really? [to Rosann] And you!

Rosann: Yes, Chef?

Gordon: Yeah?

Rosann: (interview) I don't know if I even deserve to stay because after tonight's performance, I know I let the chef down and I let myself down and I let my daughter down and that's what's hurting me the most right know. [tries to hold back tears and puts her hand over her face]

Gordon: [throws his pencil across the Red kitchen] Fuck it... pathetic bunch of fucking women... [leaves the Red kitchen]

[Jean-Philippe has just returned some food to the pass]

Gordon: What table is that?

Jean-Philippe: Uhm, blue side, chef. They're requested well done, and it's blood all over.

Gordon: Oh, fucking hell. Ohhh... (to Ben) There you go, there you go! (dumps the plates on Ben's station) Requested well done! Now look at it, then! SCHMUCK!! JERK!! (kicks the bins)

Ben: (interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just going to keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.

Gordon: Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem! You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.

Matt: (to the Red Team) Karma really bites you in the ass.

Gordon: All fucking night you've taken it easy. (Matt snickers) And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you deserve it. You've had a hard night.

Ben: Are we done? Cause if we're not, I'm going to complete my station tonight, chef.

Gordon: SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! (Matt snickers again) STOP IT!

Episode Eight [4.08]

Gordon: Okay, two beef, one wellington, one salmon.

Red team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: (points to Matt) You, come here you! Come here, round here! Look at those pieces of meat there. You've got one fucking large one, one medium one and one small one. What are you doing?

Christina: (interview) Matt's meat, all three were totally different. Are you serious?

Gordon: That's not good enough for me. So there you go. There's the daddy, there's the mummy, there's the fucking baby. Supposing that's the critic's table; one has that (large piece of beef) and another's got that (small piece of beef). [Picks up the small piece] Supposing that's medium-well. What happens?

Matt: It'll definitely shrink. (interview) The tenderloins really do shrink when they cook. I know better than that. I'm an idiot.

Gordon: Look at it! We're fucked! [pounds the counter] What did I say to you? I'm looking for everything.

Matt: Yes, chef. Got it, chef.

Gordon: Don't piss around now, yeah? That's bullshit!

Matt: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, Mr Inconsistent. Wake up.

Matt: Yes, chef!

[Gordon checks on the salmon by Christina]

Gordon: Christina!

Christina: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Salmon nice that side [flips it over with a spatula] turn it round you got a big dry overcooked piece of shit! Salmon how long?

Christina: I might need seven minutes.

Corey: (interview) Salmon is a very quick process, it only takes a couple of minutes.

Gordon: Christina can you do two things at once?

Christina: Urf, I've got two entrées & some scallops!

Gordon: If you can't control two things at once, you shouldn't be here.

Christina: No I-I!

Gordon: Shut up, will you? I really fucking mean it from the bottom of my heart!

Christina: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Get your salmon on now!

Corey: One minute, Christina!

Christina: (interview) My timing was so wrong, it's like all a sudden I hit a train wreck

Gordon: Christina, I want it now!

[Christina brings up the salmon]

Gordon: Finally, you fucking lazy cow. Tonight's not your night is it!?

Christina: No, chef!

Christina: How are you doing Rosann?

Gordon: Where's the fucking garnish? [Rosann's garnish pan catches fire] That's burned! Hey madam, come here. Why are you burning veg?

Rosann: It was an accident chef.

Corey: (interview) Rosann just doesn't know how to organize herself. She gets herself worked up and burns garnishes...

Gordon: The beef is cooked and I still haven't got the garnish.

Corey: (interview)...and it screws up the rest of the team.

Gordon: You're not trustworthy on service! I'm nervous with you in the kitchen! We haven't got the garnish, Rosann!

Rosann: I'm have to tell you as a profession, this is the last order of gnocchi that I have and I'm going to be short on the last order.

Gordon: Oh...fucking shit.

Rosann: I'm sorry. Sorry, chef.

Gordon: I'm sorry you're here. Oh fucking hell. Carrot purée! How long?

Matt: Chef's calling for carrot purée.

Rosann: Carrot purée?

Gordon: Carrot purée!

Corey: Carrot purée, let's go.

Gordon: Where's the carrot purée? Where is it? Rosann!

Rosann: I'm running out of c...carrot purée.

Gordon: Oh, my God almighty. [goes over to the glass window and repeatedly bangs his head] Fuck me.

Rosann: How about some carrots chef? I'll give you baby carrots chef. Carrots or mash? I've got plenty of mash!

[Matt is cutting his beef]

Gordon: Matt, from here, they look raw. THEY LOOK RAW!!

Merrill Schinder: The Red kitchen is a disaster.

Matt: I got it, chef.

Gordon: Can you get the beef back in the fucking oven?!

Christina Machamer: (to Matt) How long, Matt?

Matt: I don't know anymore.

Christina Machamer: Come on, Matt! Bounce the fuck back!

Matt: I fucking hear it!

Corey: Let's go, Matt. Let's get that up.

Matt: Fuck!

Gordon: Beef, chicken, wellington. How long?

Matt: Coming to the pass. (brings his meat to the pass)

Gordon: [checking Matt's tenderloins] Oh, fuck. Here we go. Chef Matt, there's the beef. THAT LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF SHIT! And you have the nerve to give me that with the critics out there. Hey, hey, fuck, you serve it. See what standards you got. Serve it!

Matt: No chef.

Gordon: Stand there and look at the customers.

Matt: Chef, I won't serve it.

Gordon: Hey come here, you as well, and you, you're just as bad. Hey, would you serve that to a critic?

Corey: Definitely not.

Gordon: Would you serve that to a critic? [Rosann shakes her head] Would you serve that to a critic?

Christina: No, chef.

Gordon: Would you serve that to a critic?

Matt: No chef.

Gordon: So, let's get this right, you wouldn't serve it. But you'd give it to me. [Throws the beef on the stove] GET OUT!! GET OUT! GET OUT!! Upstairs! Fuck off will you?!

[The four members of the red team exit the kitchen and cry about it]

Episode Nine [4.09]

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with filet mignon]

Gordon: Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on. Louross! Raw steak!!

Louross: Ohhhhhh.

Gordon: And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented, you dick!

Louross: (interview) It started off good and then all of the sudden, it fucking went downhill.

[Jean-Philippe returns again with filet mignon]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe: Twenty-three. They're all medium rare.

Gordon: Oh fuck me! Ohhhhh. Louross! Come here, you! Let's go and you touch it well. Come on, touch! (touches the raw steak on his hand)

Jen Gavin: Blue, chef! BLUE!

Gordon: Yeah, it's raw. How could I get down on my knees. Yeah, it's fucking raw! Hey, look at me! Is that better? It's raw, you fucking idiot!

Jen Gavin: (interview) Louross is really just dropped the ball to horrific, horrendous, it's just horrible. He just could not handle meat station at all.

Gordon: Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on.

Louross: (to himself) This is not good at all.

Gordon: [after Jean-Philippe returned again with filet mignon] Hey, you, you, you, come here! Look at that... look! Three of the have come back! You put your team into shit!

Louross: (interview) I hate the word "filet mignon" out, I do seriously. If I ever see another filet mignon, I will like throw it. Oh like, that someone's face.

Gordon: (to Louross) One more fucking steak returns to the kitchen, I'm closing your kitchen.

Narrator: With the threat of a shut down looming, Louross tries again on the meat station.

Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) What about the lady on [table] 41 with the filet mignon?

[cuts to table 41]

Jean-Philippe: They just left, chef.

Gordon: They just left? (calls out Louross) Hey, come here you! The customer's gone! Customer's fucking GONE. (tears the ticket then throws it to Louross) SHIT!! (kicks the bins)

[Sous-Chef Scott checks on a dessert brought up by Jen Gavin]

Scott: It's not even cooked.

Gordon: Is it raw?

Scott: Yeah.

Gordon: (to Jen) Watch, watch. There you go. (drains some liquid from the dessert and drops the dessert on the plate, breaking it) HEY--FUCK--OFF! Dumb Jen, turn your stove off!

Gordon: Louross was never short on energy. He was just short on cooking ability.

Episode Ten [4.10]

Gordon: Fire a wellington, chicken, john dory [notices that Christina is cooking beef and chicken in the same pan] uh excuse me [to Christina] why are we cooking chicken and beef in the same pan?

Christina: Sorry chef there just wasn't a lot of room up here on these burners

Gordon: Supposedly someone doesn't like red meat!

Christina: (interview) I thought hot pan, plenty of room let's just cook it, it'll be cool.

Gordon: Get it out!

Christina: Yes, chef. (interview) No, not cool!

[Gordon notices that Bobby is cooking salmon and scallops in the same pan]

Gordon: Bobby, they've (Christina) got beef and chicken in a pan. Now you've got salmon and scallops in the pan.

Bobby: Uh... I needed this time to fly (interview) Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I didn't really have an excuse.

Gordon: Hey, aren't you allergic to shellfish?

Bobby: Yeah. (interview) Chef was right! Woo!

Gordon: Oh, my God!

Gordon: [sees Matt eating] Why are you eating?

Matt: I'm not. I'm ta -.

Gordon: COME HERE, YOU! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'm standing here struggling to get food out, I just watched you turn and eat!

Matt: I'm tasting my wellingtons, chef.

Gordon: (points to the customers) They're struggling and you're going to be the one fucking eating!

Christina: (interview) Matt, are you kidding me?

Gordon: Can I get some meats out here, please?

Matt: Yes, chef!

Narrator: With food finally leaving the kitchen, all Chef Ramsay wants...

Gordon: Why are we going with this table?

Matt: I'm coming up with it, chef! (brings his meat to the pass)

Narrator: ...is to keep it going.

[Gordon returns to the workstation with meat brought up by Matt]

Gordon: All of you, just fucking come here! You (Corey) as well with your burn! This is why I'm pissed off! Touch that. That's (wellington) fucking raw, and that's (beef) fucking what? Look at the colour of it. [Matt tries to retrieve the meat; Gordon knocks his hand away, gets a filet and wellington and angrily throws them in the bin] I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION! SHIT!! I'm asking you the question, what is it?! It's overcooked!!

Corey: (interview) Matt seems to be like a 5-year old trapped in a 35-year old body. He doesn't know when to stop.

Matt: (gets a ticket at the pass) Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Oh, please. Don't touch me.

Matt: I have a migraine.

Gordon: Oh, can you fuck... I need the ticket here! (Matt leaves the pass, Gordon asks him) What's going next?

Matt: I'm busy getting yelled at.

Gordon: Fucking idiot, come here! What did you say then? You're busy getting what?

Matt: No, chef.

Gordon: You just gave me overcooked meat, overcooked fucking filet, overcooked. Now you're saying "I'm getting yelled at!"

Matt: (interview) It wasn't my fault when everyone else fell behind. I'm the big team player, I just don't team players around me.

Gordon: So don't start acting fucking smarmy with me while we're standing here in the shit, whereas you put me in the shit!

Matt: I can't fucking concentrate anymore.

Gordon: Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!

Christina: Guys, how long now?

Matt: I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.

Corey: (interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?

Matt: (to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.

Gordon: You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?

Matt: Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).

Christina: No!

Gordon: No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!

Bobby: (laughs) Oh, fuck!

Matt: Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.

Gordon: He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?

Matt: I have no feeling in my hands--.

Gordon: No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [holds Matt out to the kitchen] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.

Matt: But I want to work through it.

Gordon: [turns around] GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT!! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off! Fucking useless piece of shit!

Jen: (interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen

Gordon: FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE!! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!

Christina: Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?

Gordon: What is that?

Christina: It's burnt rice, chef.

Gordon: Who put that on there?

Christina: I don't know, chef.

Jen: Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.

Gordon: Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]

Christina: (interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."

Gordon: (quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!

Jen: (interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.

Gordon: (to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!

Christina: Yes, chef.

Petrozza: (interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!

Gordon: Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT!! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah?! [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!

Gordon: There once was a boy named Matt, whose kitchen performance fell flat. He was far from neat, miserable on meat, so I kicked him out and that's that.

Episode Twelve [4.12]

[Christina brings carrot purée to the pass]

Gordon: Yeah, anything piping hot-- [grabs the handle of the pan and burns his hand] Ah, shit! Fuck! Ah shit! Don't stop and look stupid like some thick cow!

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Aw, fuck! Fuck's sake! [cools his hand with cold water] Christina, the handle was over the flame. The fucking handle's over the stove, at least say something to somebody.

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Now, you're just acting like a fucking idiot. Yes?

Christina: No, chef.

Jen: (interview) Chef Ramsay was burning bad by Christina today. I know he was pissed!

Gordon: SHIT!

Jen: (interview) Ooh, Christina messing up over there for real.

Gordon: Fuck me!

Corey: Do not burn the chef!

Gordon: Fuck! Look at me and I'm fucking serious now. If a handle is over the fucking flame, say something, will you please, yes?

Christina: Yes, chef.

Gordon: One more time and you're fucking finished!

Christina: (interview) I just burned Chef Ramsay. That's really not cool. My mistake. Not going to happen again, trust me.

Gordon: Garnish, please!

Christina: Coming right now, chef. Coming, chef.

Gordon: [grabs the handle and burns his hand again] Aw, shit! Fucking hell! I'm getting fucked here again! Christina, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!

Jen: (interview) When Chef Ramsay burned himself twice, you can smell his skin all across the room burning. I'm like DAMN!!

Gordon: [cools his hand again] SHIT! Hey look, come here you look. [pours cold water over the handle and steam comes off] You're not even fucking telling me.

Christina: (interview) He poured water over the handle of the pot and it sizzled. It was really hot.

Gordon: That's unbearable now.

Christina: I was just like oh, shit!

Gordon: Now I think you're doing it on purpose to fucking wire me up. Hey, you're doing it really well because I'm getting fucked off! If a pan handle is over the fucking flame, say something! Will you please, yes?

Christina: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Wake up!

Christina: Yes, chef. (interview) (sighs)

Episode Fifteen [4.15]

Gordon: Over the last three months, it has really been a roller coaster ride. We've had plenty of highs and lows, but this season ended on a high. Now it's time for me to get the fuck out of Hell's Kitchen.

Episode One [5.01]

Gordon: Alright, grilled banana?

Danny: That's mine, chef. (interview) I'm a redneck. I like to hunt a lot, like duck or... gators or whatever. You know, it's fun because then I get to bring that home and cook it.

Gordon: And the name of the dish is what?

Danny: Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.

Gordon: It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.

Danny: (interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually going to get.

Gordon: So the idea came from where?

Danny: I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.

Gordon: Put it back in there because it sucks.

Gordon: Who's cooked the diapers?

Colleen: No diapers, sir. That's chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name's Colleen.

Gordon: Corinne.

Colleen: Colleen.

Gordon: Corinne.

Colleen: COL-leen.

Gordon: What do you do for a living?

Colleen: I am a culinary instructor and I own a recreational cooking school.

Gordon: And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?

Colleen: No, I am not a trained chef.

Gordon: So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.

Colleen: That's correct.

Gordon: How much do you charge?

Colleen: 300 per three to four hours.

Gordon: Right. Look at the size of it.

Colleen: I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?

Gordon: No, I'll bite it myself. [tries dish, spits it out]

Colleen: Great.

Gordon: You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?

Colleen: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my arse.

Colleen: (interview) It was extremely difficult to just stand there and keep my mouth shut? (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.

Gordon: Say that again?

Narrator: Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.

Gordon: Okay, please Ms Manners, fuck off back in line.

Gordon: It looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.

Seth: Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.

Gordon: How long have you been cooking?

Seth: Fifteen years around.

Gordon: And what is it?

Seth: Cinnamon crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.

Gordon: The ratatouille, what's in there?

Seth: Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.

Gordon: [spits out food] How come the aubergine's so sweet?

Seth: There's some honey, uh...

Gordon: Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?

Crowd: No, chef.

Gordon: That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. [Seth laughs] Fifteen years to cook that shit and you're laughing. You could make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm fucking serious, you know that. Back in line. [Seth goes back in line] The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.

Seth: I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I got to prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

[Lacey and Coi are arguing during prep. Gordon approaches Coi]

Coi: how dare you saying that shit to me?

Gordon: What's the matter?

Coi: This station is fucked... up.

Lacey: Come on, Coi.

Coi: (to Lacey) Don't say a fucking thing. (to Gordon) I come over here, there's nothing fucking done, chef. Nothing!

Lacey: (to Coi) Now why don't you tell him that you're threatening me.

Gordon: (to Coi and Lacey) Oh, wait. Right. I'm just about to open the doors, okay? Don't panic. I'm not asking you to be lovebirds, okay?

Coi: Absolutely.

Gordon: Calm down, get a grip and show me some form of composure, yes?

Coi: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Oh, my God!

Gordon: On order six covers, table 20. Two spaghetti, two scallops, one risotto, one Caesar. Entrées, three wellington, get them in!

Robert: [shouting over Gordon] Ben you guys, get going!

Ben: I'm coming! I'm coming!

Gordon: Hey you. Hey fuck-wit, Come here you. Come here! I'm calling out an order and you just shout over.

Robert: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: You fucking call out the order then. You fuck, FUCKING call out the order!

Robert: I need one Caesar, two scallops, one risotto and two spaghetti now! (interview) Yeah, give me the reins man! Let me drive this bitch!

Gordon: You fucking interrupt me again next time, you're going for an early bath.

Robert: Yes.

Gordon: A big one in the hot tub!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Danny]

Gordon: Danny? Come here, that's you. Overcooked scallops, let's go. It's not exactly rocket science.

Danny: Well obviously, chef. [angrily slams his pan; [Gordon gives him a dirty look]

Gordon: (to Danny) Hey you, come here you.

Danny: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Okay, can you cook like a team member?

Danny: I'll wash their station and my station, chef.

Gordon: How about communicating with them?

Danny: I did, chef.

Gordon: Don't fucking dare start getting fucking pissed with me. Is that clear?

Danny: Chef, yes, chef.

Gordon: Good. Now JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

[power supply shuts down]

[Gordon looks for spaghetti in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the other spaghetti? [notices Colleen starting a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan] Madam, come here. [gets Colleen's pan] You're starting a fresh one in dirty pan!

Colleen: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Oh!

Colleen: (interview) The pan that I've already used and I didn't have the chance to wipe it. I felt like an idiot.

Gordon: You teach people how to cook! [slams the pan down on her station]

Colleen: We have no more pans, chef.

Gordon: [gets some pans from Andrea's station] Look! Pan, pan, pan!

Colleen: Thank you, chef.

Gordon: You're going to start a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan! HOLY CRAP!!

Narrator: Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.

Gordon: Why's it all fucking mangled?

Scott: He didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.

Gordon: Hey, Forrest! Come here you.

Seth: (interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!

Gordon: You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardise it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?

Ben: (interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.

Gordon: Would you get excited to come here and eat that shit?

Seth: Absolutely not.

Gordon: Yeah, fuck off, will you?

Seth: (interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!

Narrator: It's two and a half hours into the dinner service, and while Colleen has finally mastered the spaghetti, she still has a lot to learn about risotto.

Gordon: Look! [returns to workstation and tastes the risotto] Hey!

Colleen: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Taste!

Colleen: Yes, chef.

[Gordon spits out the risotto in disgust]

Gordon: That's the risotto! That, quite frankly, is the worst risotto I've ever tasted in my entire cooking career. Why's it so sweet? Who put sugar in there?

Colleen: [holds up a pot of sugar] I grabbed this. I thought it was salt.

LA: (interview) Are you fucking kidding me?

Gordon: That... [throws the risotto in the trash] is shit! Oh, my God!

Gordon: Mashed potatoes?

Wil: [brings his garnishes to the pass] Fuck!

Gordon: What are you doing, Wil?

Wil: Sorry, chef. I don't know if this is very hot. (to his team mates) You got a cold sizzle?

Gordon: Dear, oh dear! Wil!

Wil: Yes, chef?

Gordon: You're shit!

Wil: Yes, chef. I am.

Gordon: You are so shit, it's unbelievable!

Gordon: Are you on the garnish now, Robert?

Robert: I just want to help him out [Wil], chef.

Gordon: Charlie's on the garnish, Robert's on the garnish, yeah? And Wil is on planet cuckoo.

Charlie: (interview) Wil got thrown to the dogs on the garnish station. By the time I got around to help him, it was ugly.

Gordon: Wil, there's not one cook in the kitchen that hasn't been with you on the garnish tonight!

Wil: (interview) Being on the receiving end of Chef Ramsay's wrath...yeah, that sorta sucked.

Gordon: Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Gordon: Garnish, please! (to Wil) What in the fuck are you two doing?

Carol: [interview; sees the customers leaving the kitchen] Oh no! When the customers got up and starting to walk out, I'm shocked.

Gordon: Let's go, 22!

Waiter: 22 just left.

Gordon: Twenty-two. 22 just left.

Giovanni: My table got up and left.

Gordon: [to Robert; tosses the plates to him] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, catch! THEY JUST LEFT! THEY JUST FUCKING LEFT!

Giovanni: The rest of tables got walked out.

Lady: Alright. Out of Hell's Kitchen.

Gordon: Switch it off! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! [goes to the red kitchen] Come here, all of you! [calls the blue team] Come here, all of you! Yeah, take a look at there! Pathetic, absolute embarrassment, utter crap! Clear down! CLEAR DOWN!!!

Gordon: I found it quite strange that Wil didn't even have the will to succeed. He clearly did not belong in Hell's Kitchen.

Episode Two [5.02]

Gordon: The scallops are cooked, aren't they?

Colleen: Yes.

Gordon: Why are they still in the pan if they're cooked? They're going to be overcooked, you stupid cow! Oh, my God! Who cooked the scallops last service? Who was that?

Lacey: I did, chef.

Gordon: Come here, you! Come here! Show her how to cook a fucking scallop. Hey, by the way, she's not charging $300. Hey, this is free now. Free lesson! Stand back!

Carol: (interview) Colleen runs a cooking school, but she has no experience on the line and it clearly shows.

Gordon: (to Lacey) Teach madam [Colleen] here how to cook a fucking scallop!

Lacey: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Shit!! Unbelievable!

Lacey: (interview) I almost felt honored in a weird way. (to Colleen) It's okay. It's alright.

Gordon: Ji!

Ji: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Is your ankle hurting?

Ji: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, so is my fucking head! It's throbbing!

[Lacey brings Colleen's scallops to the pass]

Gordon: Thank you, Lacey.

Lacey: You're welcome, chef!

Gordon: Colleen!! Do you see a difference? Pink in the middle, colored both sides, yes?

Colleen: Yes, I do, chef.

Gordon: Hey, did she charge you?

Colleen: (brief pause) No, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, thank fuck for that. Let's go. God bless Nebraska.

Narrator: Seth and Charlie have delivered their lobster spaghetti to the pass.

[Gordon checks the spaghetti; finds out that there's no lobster in it]

Gordon: There's no fucking lobster in there.

Scott: Doesn't look like it, no.

Narrator: But, it's missing one key ingredient.

Gordon: [returns to the workstation and pushes a pan aside] Hey, fuck-wit! Come here you! Come here!

Charlie: What's this?

Gordon: There's no fucking lobster in it!

Charlie: Shit!!

Gordon: How can you give it to me with no lobster in there?!

Charlie: We're stupid, chef. Apologies.

Gordon: Wake up, Charlie!!

Charlie: Yes, chef! Yes, chef!

Gordon: And you [Seth], docile fucking idiot! What's the dish called?

Seth: Uhm... Uhm...

Gordon: Spaghetti of lobster!!

Seth: (interview) I feel like I just got hit by a train!

[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Colleen]

Gordon: Oh, my God! [returns to the workstation] Come here you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here! (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?

Colleen: (brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.

Gordon: You don't have it. Hey, look, come here. Hey, there you go, look at that. [holds up the salmon] Look, look, hold on, hey, don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's fucking raw in the middle.

Colleen: Yes, chef.

[Gordon angrily throws the salmon away and kicks the bin]

Gordon: Fucking useless, fucking shit. You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?

Colleen: No, I'm not joking, chef. I am a--

Gordon: Tell me, tell me you're pumping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?

Colleen: No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.

Gordon: Your fucking business is not like my business. Hey, madam, let's get that fucking right.

Colleen: You're right.

Gordon: You're robbing people! You're a thief!! I'm concerned for the poor bastards that you've taken money off of!! [sees another piece of salmon burning] Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.

Colleen: It IS black!

Gordon: GOD!!!

Colleen: Both of them!

Gordon: SHIT! [Gordon and Coi look physically shocked] SHIT!!!! IT'S BLACK!

Colleen: Yes, chef!

Gordon: OH, MY GOD!!

Carol: These are burning.

Colleen: I know.

Gordon: Hey, madam, madam! GET OUT!! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! LACEY! Get on the fish!

Lacey: Yes, chef!

Colleen: (interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not going to break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not going to break me.

[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Giovanni]

Gordon: Giovanni! [returns to the workstation]

Giovanni: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Hey, all of you come here! [points to Danny] He's cooking his arse off, surrounded by five muppets, yeah? The temperature's perfect, and I get that bit of shit there, look. I got given that! Would you eat that? [throws the salmon to Seth] Go on, eat it, eat it. (to Seth) Would you eat that?

Seth: No, chef.

Gordon: (to Giovanni) Would you eat that?

Giovanni: No, chef.

Gordon: [comes up to Giovanni] Hey, you can be pissed off. You got every fucking right to be pissed off. You know that, yes?

Giovanni: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Fucking RAW!!

Giovanni: (interview) I've never had a chef come that close to me in my life. He can yell at me from across the kitchen, he doesn't have to get 2 inches away from my face.

[After the end of service]

Gordon: Colleen, you know what they say in the industry. With the people that can't cook? Psst. They teach!

Colleen: That's not true, chef.

Gordon: Well it fucking was tonight!

Colleen: Chef, I know how to cook fish. You made me nervous, I started doing things that I don't normally do, and you have every right to be angry at me for wasting the fish.

LA: (interview) It's like she's talking out of her ass sometimes. I'm like, seriously, just shut the fuck up.

Gordon: You... you frazzle my mind. Every time I look at you, I think of "headache."

Gordon: Ji showed great courage. Unfortunately, her injury got in the way of her dream. She had a chance to win this, but sadly we will never, ever know.

Episode Three [5.03]

[during the meat labelling challenge, with both teams both having five correct labels so far]

Seth: (interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.

Ben: Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!

[Seth lightly taps the bell]

Gordon: I can't hear that!

Ben: Ring the fucking bell!

[Seth hits the bell harder]

Gordon: Seven wrong for blue, let's go.

Charlie: Holy shit! We're working backwards!

J: (interview) SETH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Narrator: Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.

Carol: Come on, Lacey!

Lacey: (interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.

Colleen: Come on! We can do this!

LA: Move it, Lacey!

Andrea: (interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.

[Robert rings the men's bell]

Gordon: Six wrong.

Narrator: Robert has only improved on Seth by one.

Carol: (to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

[Lacey rings the bell]

Gordon: Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!

Gordon: Why aren't the shrimp on? Get them on! Come on, Charlie.

Charlie: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Unbelievable. A Caesar salad and we're in the shit! [spots that Charlie's cooking cloth has caught fire] Your cloth's on fire! YOUR CLOTH'S ON FIRE!

J: (interview) Charlie, wake the fuck up, man.

Gordon: Get it in the water please, Scott, before he burns the place down.

Charlie: I'm doing my best, chef.

Scott: (throws the cloth in the sink) If that's your best, you might want to rethink your best a little bit.

Narrator: It's thirty minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.

Ben: [bringing some chocolate brownie desserts to the pass] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts...

Narrator: Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.

Gordon: Dick-head, put them down. [calls entire team] Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate fucking brownie. [tosses one dessert on the counter] WHAT'S GOING ON?!

Seth: (interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he brought up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid shit, but that's embarrassing.

Gordon: So, let's do it this way, then. There you go. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve a chocolate brownie before we serve the appetisers.

Ben: No, chef.

Gordon: What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!

Ben: No, chef.

Gordon: You've got cheesecake made as well!

Ben: Yes, chef.

Gordon: We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out fucking appetisers!

Ben: It was my fault, chef. (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but fuck me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"

Gordon: Have you been drinking or sniffing?

Ben: No, chef. No, chef.

Gordon: Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.

Ben: No, no, chef!

Gordon: Go upstairs for a lie-down! [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben quickly returns into the kitchen]

[Lacey returns a Caesar salad to the pass]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Lacey: She just didn't know if there were anchovies on it.

Gordon: You got what you asked for.

Lacey: I know, chef.

Gordon: So what did you fuck up? I know you find this is, yeah I know you laugh and it's funny.

Lacey: I'm not laughing! I'm trying not to cry.

Gordon: You're fucking worse than Britney Spears, you jumped-up bitch!

[Carol returns to the pass with filet mignon]

Carol: They say they want to brighten it up a little bit, chef.

Gordon: Giovanni, Robert come here! Robert, bounce your way down here. Let's go. [portions the beef] (pounds the counter) Touch it! Touch it!

Giovanni and Robert: It's cold.

Gordon: FUCKING SHIT!! [throws the beef away] It's still walking, that fucking piece of beef!

Danny: (interview) It pisses me off. We have the executive chef of a steakhouse running our grill. Wake up, get it together and put out some decent food.

Gordon: Giovanni!

Giovanni: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Thank fuck I've never been to your steakhouse! It's fucking blue!

Giovanni: Yes, chef!

Narrator: With just 30 minutes left, Jean Phillippe is looking for Lacey.

Jean Phillippe: Table 23. The Table you forgot.

Lacey: I have to go up there and tell them to fire it?

Jean Phillippe: Who el...Who else is going to do it?

Lacey: Jean Phillipe I never waited table before!!!

Jean Phillippe: (Gobbles) Can you just go and ask the chef to fire It (Trying to do Lacey Voice), (Gobbles)

Lacey: I need the main course for 23 fired. Thanks Chef.

Gordon: Hey Madam (Lacey), We just taking the order in now??? Why did it take so long???

Jean Phillippe: She forgot the Table.

Gordon: (Shakes Head and angrily swats Lacey away)

Lacey: Yeah, "Fuck off with me!" I know.

Gordon: (To the Blue Team) Lacey forgot the ORDER!!!

[after Seth's attempt at butchering the filet mignon, Ramsay has discovered a huge amount of wasted meat]

Gordon: Hey, all of you, here! Quickly! There's the filet, yes? Look at the fucking waste! [empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet. LOOK AT THE FILET!

Giovanni: (interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for worse, but it looked like he went at it with a jackhammer.

Gordon: We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts to Seth] LOOK AT IT! What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one?

Narrator: With only fifteen minutes of dinner service left, Seth has butchered the filet. And possibly the Blue Team's hope of winning dinner service.

Gordon: How can you do that?

Seth: I never butchered a filet before chef.

Gordon: Congratulations, you just have.

Seth: [smiles] Thanks, yes...

Gordon: Ay-ey, hey smart-arse. Not in the right way, you fucking bozo!

Seth: (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I'll know for next time.

[two minutes remain of the Blue team's half of the service]

Gordon: Where's the New York strip?!

Giovanni: Chef, I'm four minutes away!

Gordon: Oh, my God. SWITCH IT OFF!! We're now over two hours, he (Giovanni) fucks the filet! (to Charlie) The shrimps go down! (to Ben Walanka) This dick sent me dessert before the appetisers! [throws his apron] Fuck off! (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, shut it down, yes? Two hours over. Clear down!!!

Robert: (interview; tonight was originally planned to have been his wedding) I've embarrassed myself, my family, my girlfriend. [throws his buff off angrily]

[Customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]

Ben Walanka: Here we go. Here comes the pain.

[The Red team is now inside the kitchen and is about to start the second half of Steakhouse night service. While the Blue team is now in the dining room taking orders]

Andrea: (shouts to the Blue team) Come on guys, we need orders! (customers overhear) The ladies are ready to kick your-- (pauses out of shame and tones her voice down) butt. [she and LA giggle] I forgot there are customers out there.

Gordon: Where's the four Caesar salad, two shrimp?

Colleen: Coming chef. These were two, one and one.

Gordon: Where's the fucking four I asked for?

Coi: Four Caesar salad, two shrimp!

Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey!

Colleen: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You're doing this on purpose.

Colleen: No I'm not, I swear. You said two. One and one.

Gordon: Look at me! Look at me! Four fucking salads.

Colleen: (interview) There's always the person in your life that's being grumpy and you know not being nice. Then there is one that Chef Ramsay whose the arrogant vicious attack dog.

Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey, Madam, you're fucking pathetic!

Colleen: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Four salad, three shrimp, one plain! (Colleen) Oh no, come here! What's going?

Colleen: Four Caesar salad, three shrimp, one plain!

Gordon: One more!

Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!

Gordon: One more!

Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!

Gordon: And last time!

Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three...

Gordon: (visibly shocked) Oh, m - OHH, GOD!

Colleen: ... SHRIMP, ONE PLAIN!

Gordon: Oh you fucking - hoo, shit! She's not normal... she can not be normal...

Lacey: (interview) My God! Colleen, if we lose tonight and I go home, I swear to God, I hope you can't sleep at night because you deserve to go home more than I.

[The Blue team lost the night's service; J has been asked for the nominees]

J: First nominee would be Seth.

Gordon: Why?

J: His kitchen etiquette? He doesn't really have much kitchen etiquette. His experience? Unfortunately, he doesn't really have that much experience. He's got a lot to learn.

Gordon: Second nominee and why?

J: Second nominee would be Charlie. Execution tonight was a little off, he definitely didn't meet the par that we needed to...

Seth: [interrupts J] Chef! If I could just say something? If we could just go down the line and ask, because I don't know that J is allowed to speak for everybody.

J: The chef asked me. So I answered the chef.

Seth: Yes, that's your opinion...

J: So keep your mouth shut.

Episode Four [5.04]

Colleen: How could we lose with cheerleaders on our side? Yeah! V, V-I, V-C-I-T-O-R-Y! (a caption reading "Vcitory???" appears)

[The Blue Team have lost the challenge and Ben believes that Danny was responsible for it even though it fell on Seth]

Ben: Imma tell you one thing. I don't like fucking losing and Danny, I was over there helping you then I jumped over to eggs.

Danny: You should've been on eggs the whole time.

Ben: You were the one drowning on the pancakes buddy, that is correct.

Danny: Look you gave me a hand walking up pancakes and thank you for that.

Ben: Wait a minute Danny, [J laughs] come on man are you serious right now?

Danny: What? You-you helped me plate some pancakes and I appreciate it, thank you, I-I'm not a-

Ben: It's cool.

Danny: I'm not a hero here, I never said I was.

J: You said that earlier, you said you were the best cook.

[Flashbacks to Gordon asking who the Blue Team's best cook is with Danny calling himself the Blue Team's best cook]

Danny: I am obviously the best cook on the team.

Ben: You want to hear something dude, I will put circles around you! I will circle you like a fucking moon!

Danny: Where have you been?

Giovanni: Hey, hey come on! Danny, come on! Hey, Ben!

Ben: [over Giovanni] Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my cock!

[The women walk past as Danny and Ben's argument starts escalating]

Giovanni: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ben: Are you joking me? I AM SO FUCKING-

Danny: Where have you been!?

Giovanni: [stands between Danny and Ben] Be quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

Ben: We'll see you on garnish.

Danny: Shut the fuck up.

Ben: I mean- you know what, I need two minutes, I need two minutes bro.

Danny: Take your two minutes Bro because I haven't seen you kitchen yet.

Giovanni: HEY!

Danny: Where have you been!?

Ben: [heads down to the patio] (interview) Danny's ego is getting the better of him and he needs to come back down on this planet.

Danny: YOU'VE GOTTEN A COMPLIMENT YET BEN!!?

Gordon: On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.

Blue Team: Yes, Chef!

Danny: (to Giovanni) Is it [the water] boiling?

Gordon: How long?

Giovanni: I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.

Gordon: You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?!

Giovanni: Oh, I'm sorry.

Ben: (interview) Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?

Gordon: Hey, look at me! There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!

Giovanni: (interview) Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.

Gordon: Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...

Narrator: While Giovanni is in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi is trying to get ahead.

[Gordon notices Coi cooking pasta]

Gordon: (to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti? We haven't even fired it! DAMN!!!

Coi: Fuck!

Gordon: Why?!

Coi: I'm sorry, chef.

Gordon: I can't believe this!! Why can't you just drop it to order?!

Coi: I will, chef.

Gordon: Tell me why you can't!!

Coi: I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.

Gordon: You can't get ahead! You're not that good!

Coi: (interview) I was trying to take so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass so, if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.

Gordon: Coi? Put some more spaghetti in to make yourself...

Coi: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, I'm joking you stupid cow!

[Gordon checks on lobster spaghetti brought up by Coi]

Gordon: Oh, my God. [returns to the workstation and slams the pan down] All of you! OH, COME HERE!! Taste that all of you. Hurry up! (to Colleen) Come on, Colleen! Stick your fucking fingers in there! What is that? Dry, bland, under-seasoned, undercooked!

Coi: I should have tasted it better, chef.

Carol: (interview) I honestly thought that Coi was going to be strong on that station.

Gordon: Now I'm up to FUCKING HERE! [raises his hand; kicks the bin] HERE!!

Coi: (interview) Oh... I got my ass handed to him. I never thought cooking pasta could be so hard.

Gordon: (to Coi) Madam, don't send me shit, yes?!

Coi: Yes, chef!

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with Caesar salad]

Gordon: What's going on on there?

Jean-Philippe: That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.

[Gordon checks the salad, then finds a butt of lettuce in it]

Gordon: Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the Caesar salad?

J: I did chef. [Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the members] (whispering) Jesus Christ!

[Gordon returns the butt of lettuce to the plate and angrily throws the plate onto the floor]

Gordon: Oi, bozo! Are you fucking stupid?!

J: No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freaking lettuce. I should have seen it, it's a disgrace. It really is.

Gordon: Did you see that?

J: I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.

Giovanni: (interview) Pretty hard to believe that butt of lettuce went out there. It's pretty hard to miss that big lettuce when you try to toss it in a small salad.

Gordon: Un-fucking-believable.

[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Ben Walanka]

Gordon: Come here! All of you, come here! Put it down! (to Ben) Put it fucking down! What is that?

Ben Walanka: Lamb chop, sir.

Gordon: Lamb chop, yeah? Eat it. (gives the lamb to Ben and he eats it) Happy now? Now it's getting thinner and thinner and thinner. Look, there's another one that's ripped to fuck there now. Too thin, cowboy!

Robert: (interview) I'm like. "Oh, why are sending that out?" It looked like a piece of carppacio on a bone, man.

Gordon: (to Ben) How can someone so fucking fat slice something so fucking thin?!

Ben Walanka: Sorry, chef. It won't happen again, chef.

Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to my fucking dog!

Ben Walanka: I'll fix it right now, chef.

Gordon: Garnish please :[Danny doesn't respond] Where's the garnish?

[Danny still doesn't respond]

Ben: (interview) We're going to see how Danny produces on the garnish station, as long as he's talking the talk I'd certainly like to see him walk the walk

Gordon: Where's the fucking MASHED POTATO!? I NEED THE GARNISH DANNY!! [Danny still doesn't reply] He's not even answering me now

Danny: (interview)It's just a difficult station, Chef Ramsay like's always calls you and you're just heating up vegetables but i-it was rough man

Gordon: Where's the fucking garnish? Thirty seconds, I'm going to fucking kick you out personally! Danny?

Danny: It's working chef

Gordon: How long?

Danny: It's going to be a minute chef

[Colleen brings her wellingtons to the pass]

Gordon: Hey, stay here you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?

Colleen: The medium one's here, Chef.

Gordon: Where's the medium-well?

Colleen: The medium-well's here, Chef.

Gordon: Where's the well done one, then?

Colleen: It's right here, Chef.

Gordon: So what the fuck is this one?

Colleen: I don't know.

Gordon: You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"

Gordon: On order, four covers, table three. One scallops, one spaghetti, one risotto, one caesar...

Seth: (to Giovanni) Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!

Gordon: Entrées: One Dory, one chicken, one lamb, one wellington.

Giovanni: It's coming.

Seth: Right here.

Gordon: Seth! SETH!

Seth: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Come here! What did I just call out?

Seth: [wiping his face with a cloth] I... I don't know, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, I know you don't know because you weren't even fucking prepared to listen. No wonder you're struggling.

[Seth uses the same cloth he just wiped his face with to clean a pan, then wipes his face with it again]

Gordon: What is he doing? Hey you, hey you, come here... [takes the cloth from Seth, and looks at him in disgust]

Seth: Sorry, chef.

Gordon: I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe the pan. If this one's for your fucking nose, where's your cooking cloth?

Seth: Uh, I'll get one, chef.

Gordon: [throws the cloth back to Seth] Fuck off will you?

[after Jean-Philippe returned to the pass with more food, Gordon has had it]

Gordon: (disappointed) What is going on? Oh no! Oh! [cuts to Coi accidentally dropped her spaghetti on her station] Fuck off - oh, no! Shit! Look at that! You, guy! (Robert) Come here, you fat fuck! Come here! All of you, come here! COME HERE! Hey, hey, look at me. You are pathetic. NO-ONE'S WON! Fuck off! Both teams, start thinking about two of you to fucking go home. (to Coi) You, pathetic! I don't want anymore! (to Ben) I don't want to wait for your shit anymore, (to Danny) I don't want your shit anymore, (to Seth) I don't want you drying your face, and then fucking cooking with a cloth. [throws his cloth towards Seth] YOU SCUMMY FUCKER! GET OUT!!! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben; he approaches him] GET OUT!!!

[The chefs have entered the dining room and are ready to give out the nominees for elimination]

Gordon: Something's really bugging me, you know that? And I can't stop thinking about it and here's why. If a customer goes out for dinner and their steak is overcooked or undercooked, it gets redone. And they move on and enjoy the evening. But if a customer goes out for dinner and they get served a butt of lettuce, that's how reputations get destroyed in minutes, butt-head! [to J]

Gordon: Seth showed that he had all the passion in the world, but the bottom line is he's a crap cook.

Episode Five [5.05]

[Gordon asks for wellingtons in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the wellington, please?

Andrea: Chef, I'm re-firing the wellington. The bottom's burning.

Gordon: [begins searching] Where's the medium-well wellington?

Andrea: I'm putting projector paper.

Gordon: [finds that Andrea has hid her burnt meat underneath her station] Oh, shut up you, yeah? Shut up. What is this? [starts getting the meat]

Andrea: They burned. I'm not quite sure why.

Gordon: Watch. There you go, look. (to the members) Hey, come here! Oy, oy, oy! There you go. There you go. There--Oh, dear! [throws a burnt wellington against the refrigerator] Fucking pile of shit!!

Andrea: (interview) I'm screwed. I'm fucking screwed.

Gordon: Anything else you hid? What else did you hid?!

Andrea: No, chef. That's it, chef.

Gordon: That's it? Is it?! WHY'D YOU DO IT?!

Andrea: Trying to get it together, chef.

Gordon: I just don't-- I just don't understand it!

[Gordon checks on chicken brought up by J]

Gordon: J! The chicken's RA-AW! J.

J: Yes, sir!

Gordon: No entrées have left this kitchen in nearly fourteen minutes! Nothing! FOURTEEN MINUTES, NOTHING'S GONE OUT!!

J: (interview) I fucked up everything. Everything! Every god-damn thing!

Gordon: Do you want go?

J: No, chef.

Gordon: Get a grip! GET A GRIP!!

J: Yes, chef!

Robert: (to J) J, can I go to the pass? Yes or no?

Lacey: J, can you go?

J: What do you need?

Lacey: Lamb.

Gordon: He's asking you now what you need, he doesn't even know.

Lacey: Come on, guys. How long on that lamb?

Gordon: Oh, J. You forgot it, yes?

J: Yes, chef.

Gordon: COMMUNICATE!! [kicks the bins]

Blue team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Oh, my God.

Lacey: (interview) I know J was really having a bad night. But he like forgot an order.

Gordon: Hey look at me, hey. You are shit!

Gordon: (misreferred to Robert) Let's go, Bobby. [Robert doesn't answer] I'll say this once. Move Bobby, yeah? You can do lose a few pounds. Let's go.

Robert: Fucking asshole. (interview) First of all, my name is not Bobby, it's Robert. So when he says "Bobby", who the fuck is that?

Gordon: Bobby? [Robert doesn't answer] No answer.

Robert: (interview) My father's name is Bobby and I had a fucked up childhood.

Gordon: Bobby look at me.

Robert: (interview) Every time I hear that, it brings you back. He's touched the nerve with me.

Gordon: Bobby? Dory, tuna! Where is it?! [finds that Robert has thrown his Dory in his bin] Why is he throwing stuff in the bin?

Robert: Because it's fucking... Here it comes.

Gordon: [approaches Robert's station and gets his bin] What's going on?! All this food in here! How much are you throwing away?!

Robert: Too much, chef.

Gordon: You can't just trash it like that!

Robert: I could see that you wouldn't take it, if I put it up there... Put... Whatever.

Gordon: Say that again, please?!

Robert: No, I can't.

Gordon: Why can't you look at me when I talk to you?

Robert: Sorry, chef. Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Robert, come here you. Come here you, fucker! Get out! GET OUT!! Get in there! [leads Robert into the pantry]What are you doing?!

Robert: I'm trying to do the best I can for you.

Gordon: Why didn't you serve it?--Fuck me! It's not about me, it's about you!

Robert: I refuse to put that thing up there that you're going to send back, chef.

Gordon: Look at me, concentrate, stop picking on me as an excuse. That's not good enough! You can't trash all that!

Robert: I fucked up and I'm not going to put it up to you.

Gordon: Wake up, Robert!

Robert: (interview) It took a lot from me to fucking hold back, son. I'm telling you that.

Gordon: (to Robert) Hey, have you given up?

Robert: Fuck no, chef.

Gordon: (mocks Robert) "Hey, I'm not doing that to you, chef! It's going to the trash can again!"

Robert: (interview) I ain't trying to make him proud of me anymore. [stands and pulls his trousers down, showing his bottom] Chef Ramsay, KISS MY ASS! That's what I'm saying to him.

Gordon: (comes up to Robert) Hey, if you've got any comeback, I'll do it now if I was you, yeah? Because you look like one sulky, pissed off cook! Find some form of passion. Cook your heart out. Stop fucking around!

Robert: Yes, chef.

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with dessert]

Jean-Philippe: Red, [Table] 53. Tanya Steel.

Gordon: Not done? (returns to the workstation) There you go. Now I've had enough. [slams the plate on the stove] Come here! There you go. (to Carol; gives her a piece of pear) Take a bite and pass it along. (to LA) LA, wake up, yeah?

Coi: It's hard as a fucking rock.

Gordon: Raw pastry, raw pear. That's her! [kicks a bin]

Andrea: (interview) Chef Ramsay wasn't kidding when he said it was raw. It was raw. That's just, "Sorry. Poor judgement."

Gordon: (to Colleen) You didn't know that's raw pastry with a raw pear?

Colleen: No, chef.

Andrea: (interview) Everybody else was just looking around like, "You've got to be kidding me."

Gordon: Un-fucking-believable! [goes to the blue kitchen and sits in fetal position]

Narrator: Tonight, dinner service has totally collapsed.

Gordon: Oh, Christ almighty! Two and a half hours of bullshit.

Narrator: And Chef Ramsay is at the end of his rope.

Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe; after returning to the pass with raw desserts) Oh fuck off! I'm... I've had enough! [goes to the red kitchen] Hey, when I say, I've had enough! I've had enough! Stoves off! [calls both teams] Come here! That was pathetic! And you were absolutely useless! CLEAR DOWN! I can't take it anymore! It's been the worst performance so far! SWITCH IT FUCKING OFF!!! [throws his spoon away]

Gordon: There was no place in the kitchen I could put Colleen where she wasn't a disaster. It's time for her to go back to where she belongs, teaching. Because she certainly can't cook.

Episode Six [5.06]

Narrator: As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...

J: Off to the spa we go...

Narrator: ...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know that he'll be working with someone to plan the party.

Brenda: This gentleman is very recommended.

Jean-Philippe: Yes.

Brenda: So, um...

Francisco: Bonjour, darling!

Brenda: Oh, here he is now.

Narrator: ...Someone he knows all too well.

Francisco: Oh, it's so good to see you! [hugs J.P.] I'm so happy to be here. Are you thrilled to see me?

Brenda: Alright, well, see you tomorrow.

Francisco: Thank you.

Jean-Philippe: (to Francisco) Listen, you. You are not interfering with my job.

Francisco: I respect your boundaries.

Jean-Philippe: Alright, I'll do my thing, and then you do your little thing.

Francisco: "My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.

Jean-Philippe: Good.

Francisco: Oh, here they [the Red Team] come.

Jean-Philippe: Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.

Francisco: I'm so excited to be here, this is so fabulous! [the ladies laugh] Wait until you see what we're doing. We are going to go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's going to be so festive!

Coi: (interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.

Francisco: We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...

Andrea: (laughing) Twinkly!

Coi: (interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.

Francisco: We are going to make this the most beautiful sports arena!

LA: (interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

Episode Seven [5.07]

J: (to Lacey) You didn't take the a...this part off?

Lacey: No

Robert: You're supposed to take the paper off...

Lacey: Robert, trust me!

Robert: You're not a supposed to do that, Lacey.

Lacey: Then I fucked up, it's not your fucking problem...

Robert: (little bit of high-tone) You need to stop right now and listen what we try to tell you! (interview) I'm so sick of Lacey, I'm about to use a Jedi mind trick and choke the shit out of that bitch mentally...

Lacey: I'm sick of Robert yelling at me!

Robert: You're not...

Danny & J: He's trying help you, Lacey.

Lacey: I know but...hmmm...never mind...

Robert: (under his breath) That bitch got to go, man.

Lacey: (interview) I don't care what that fatass has to say to me, he needs to say in front of my face instead of mumbling under his fucking breath.

Lacey: I'm not fighting, If I fight with anybody right now, I'm leaving i swear to God.

J: You're what?

Ben: Oh My God...

J: You're leaving?!

Danny: That's the last thing we need to know...

J: Lacey, if you got to go, then just go

Lacey: I don't understand why are you sticks with people who yelling at me?

J: No, No, No don't fought back, I'm serious, this is the professional kitchen, If you want to fucking go, go...I'll fucking do everything.

J: (interview) Just shut the fuck up, get out of the kitchen and let me do my job

Lacey: Ben,what else? cause I can't find fennel at the moment?

Ben: Lacey, Oh God. (interview) 1,2,3,4... Use your head, baby. Come on, push this back...

Lacey: i don't know what's in the fucking dish?! aw! i hate you guys!

Ben: (interview)7,8,9...

Lacey: I'm sick of taking shit from you people, it's stopping now...i quit (interview)i get treated like a donkey of the team and I'm supposed to help these people? fuck that, I'm not going to compromise my health and happiness for fucking 250000,no fucking way! it's not worth it!

Danny: where the hell did lacey go man?

J: I,I don't know...

Robert: That bitch needs her ass-kicked man...(interview) Lacey sucks,she needs to get some Psycho ward so she can get some free therapy

Ben: I can't tell her every time to wipe her ass man (interview)i am...literally losing a fraction from Lacey but blue team needs extra-pair of hand,and Lacey is and extra-pair hand

(at the terrace):Ben: Let me ask you a serious question...can you go back to the kitchen and produce? we need you.

Lacey: (interview) ah...here we go again.

(at Episode 5...)

Ben: We need you!

Lacey: I know but i don't understand, I don't usually like this.

Ben: You know what i'm saying? we need you.

(back at now)

Ben: We need...we need you, as much as we ride you, we need you.

Lacey: (interview) Only need you, OK you don't want me you want me here,you don't want to men down from the Red team.

Lacey: I,I understand, I'm sorry

Ben: Can you go back to the kitchen and produce?

Lacey: Yeah

Ben: (interview) Kind of push the little bird off the edge so make sure it can fly

Giovanni: How long for the risotto and pasta?

Paula: Plating up the pasta right now.

Andrea: How's your risotto?

Carol: I'm going. I'm going.

Gordon: Where's the risotto?

Carol: Right here chef.

Gordon: Carol!

Carol: Yes, chef!

Gordon: [tastes the risotto then spits it out] Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.

Carol: Right here.

Gordon: Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?

[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pan]

Andrea: The blue team.

Gordon: The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?

J: I did, chef.

Gordon: Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?

J: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Aw, fucking hell! Oh, come on! You can't do this!

Lacey: (interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.

Gordon: It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?

J: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Oh, fuck me! Oh, come on, fuck off J!

J: I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, because he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.

Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!

Robert: (interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you fucking suck, man.

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]

Jean-Philippe: Pasta undercooked, chef.

Gordon: Is it?

Jean-Philippe: Yeah, it's really undercooked, chef.

Gordon: (to Carol) Hey, you, madam. The pasta's raw! Who's running the appetisers?

Carol: I am, chef!

Gordon: Well, then run it, then! Does she [Andrea] wipe your arse?

Carol: No, chef. (interview) I get fucking yelled at because this stupid bitch can't fucking cook?! What the hell is up with that?! (to Ramsay) There's must be some mix-in because it's...

Gordon: What?! Why aren't you tasting?

Carol: I was tasting it chef.

Gordon: So you tasted it and you knew it's raw, yet you still sent it!

Carol: (interview) That stupid bitch doesn't fucking say anything when Chef Ramsay's yelling at me, FUCK THIS SHIT!

Gordon: Madam, come here you mouthy little bitch! You [Andrea] come here!

Andrea: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Hey, give me that table out there! (to Carol and Andrea) And sit on that table and eat that! Both of you, fuck off out there! It's not undercooked, it's raw! RAW, Carol! [gets ticket from Jean-Philippe]

Andrea: (to Carol) Let's eat it. Yeah, let's get this fucking over with.

Gordon: (to Carol and Andrea) Hey, you're not coming back to this clear until you let me know how it tastes!

Narrator: While Carol and Andrea chew on their mistakes, in the blue kitchen, J is hoping to redeem himself.

Gordon: (with a piece of undercooked salmon) J! Come on, then! Look, it's still stone-cold. Back in the oven! Fucking hell...

Ben: J, I know you're busy buddy, but how long on the salmon, my man?

J: Five minutes.

Robert: Give me the tuna!

Ben: He said four minutes out. Can you make it four?

Gordon: Everything you've touched tonight, so far, has been screwed.

Robert: (interview) J just lost his shit, man. He was just clamming up, didn't take control. He was burning the seafood, he was sending raw seafood.

Gordon: That's called burnt salmon, not seared salmon!

Robert: (interview) It takes a real good chef to recover. (to J) You can really turn this around if you want to.

J: I know.

Robert: Wipe your face, wipe your face. [J wipes his face with his sleeve] With a rag!

Gordon: J, where's the salmon?

J: Coming around. Right here chef.

Gordon: [finds out that the salmon is overdone] Hey, bozo, SAUCE!! Come here you. Put that down, come here you. Come here you! Get in there! GET IN!

[leads J into the pantry and slams the door]

J: Fuck!

Gordon: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

J: I'm here chef.

Gordon: It's not good enough J!

J: I know chef. I got no fucking excuse.

Gordon: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

J: I don't know. I'll fucking turn it on right now chef.

Gordon: I can't fucking go any further! Please, wake up!

J: Yes, chef!

Gordon: I've got sauce on one, and two Dory on. LA?

[LA is standing still and staring into space]

Paula: (interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.

Gordon: Come on, LA!

Gloria: Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping?!

LA: No, I'm...

Gordon: She's dreaming. Come on, more sauce, you silly cow!

LA: (interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.

Gordon: Don't cook all the fucking Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?

LA: Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cos if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the head.

Gordon: How long for the beef, please?

LA: 30 seconds chef.

Narrator: As LA tries to get up to speed, over in the blue kitchen...

Gordon: J! Where's the other scallop?

J: Right here, chef.

[J brings the scallops to the pass; they're badly overcooked]

Gordon: Have you seen this shit?

Scott: Disastrous, isn't it?

Gordon: I have had enough. [calls the blue team] Come here, you! Leave it, PUT THAT DOWN! You, come here! You come here!

Ben: Yes, chef.

[the team members gather around the pass]

Gordon: What is that? What IS that? What is that? That's us at our best, WHAT IS IT?! Wait, it gets better! Look, touch that!

Ben: It's rubber, chef.

Gordon: T-Oh, my GOD! Unbelievable-- [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Ramsay knocks his hand away] No, no no no no! NO! GET OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT! Get out! OUT, GET OUT! Take your jacket off, and fuck off!!

J: (interview) I guess I don't belong here, so... I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. (in the dorms) Oh...that's fucked up bro. (interview) My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion anymore, I've got it. [entering the taxicab] Tomorrow's another day! Let's do it. (interview) It's time for J Maxwell to do his own thing.

Gordon: Where are the Wellingtons?

Ben Walanka: Five and a half minutes, chef.

Gordon: I'm watching you like a fucking hawk.

Ben Walanka: I know you are, chef.

Gordon: You know why? Do you know why?

Ben Walanka: I don't-I don't know, chef.

Gordon: I want you out. You're not cutting it. You're dreaming.

Ben Walanka: (interview) It hurts. It hurts when someone goes at you like that.

Gordon: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Put that down. [finds that Ben has put fresh Wellingtons in a tray filled with burnt bits of pastry] Oh, my god! Look! Look!

Danny: (interview) Ben was struggling, just getting beat up by chef. Ben's just like J, in dinner service he just falls apart.

Gordon: Come here, you! Get in there, get in! [Gordon leads Ben into the pantry] What's your fucking game?

Ben Walanka: No game, chef.

Gordon: Tell me something straight. What are you doing?

Ben Walanka: Chef, I'm doing everything I can...

Gordon: Why are you putting them on a dirty tray?

Ben Walanka: Chef, only because I was doing Wellington on them before, and I could not find any more...

Gordon: And that's good enough for you?

Ben Walanka: No, it's not, chef.

Gordon: Is it fucked?

Ben Walanka: It's not. I don't want to do it in a...

Gordon: YOU DIRTY PIG!

Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.

Gordon: CLEAN THE FUCKING TRAY!!

Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.

Gordon: One more, and you're fucking history. GET IN!

Ben Walanka: (interview) Today, it took everything I had not to go up in my little coccoon. I just had to push forward.

Gordon: DIRTY PIG!

Robert: You know as much as you've done well, I can't forgive that shit happened today.

Lacey: Oh, god

Robert: When you left the Red team, you fucking done it great job, not taking out of away from you, but I was constantly stressed dealing with your FUCKING emotional bullshit!

Lacey: I know how you guys are feeling... but that's fine...

Robert: No, you don't!

Lacey: You just sit out here and fucking "blab" shit to me...

Robert: If all you hear is all the negative,y our a moron.

Lacey: What did you just say was positive?

Robert: That you gave a FUCK since you've been here! When you fucking left your team, up there when they're busting their ass! (interview) Lacey is not a team player, she doesn't find it serious, she blames everybody but herself, that girl is FUCKED! In the head man!

Robert: You care what you want of that's convenient for Lacey, that's not how it team works, if you don't give a fuck, beat it! (Lacey surprises)

Lacey: (interview) Robert is just an asshole. Maybe I'll put Robert up there,chef ramsay did say...go back and nominate the person who don't want on your team

Robert: (to Lacey) I swear to God if you win this I will hang up my coat and become a crack whore!

Gordon: that was painful in there tonight, each of you, know who you voting for?

Blue team: yes,Chef!

Gordon: good, tell me who you don't want on your team any longer and why, Robert?

Robert: I don't want to lacey on my team anymore chef, cause i believe my heart to tell she is a cancer, i don't appreciate holding our team for ransom of threat of quitting and...

Gordon: on service?

Robert: yes! and i refuse to accept quitter,we tried to help her but,she constantly blaming everybody else,i'm serious in a emotion of passionate...because...in a long run,she doesn't care what would happen,and if a was running my restaurant...see you later

Gordon: Holy crap!

Robert: sorry

Gordon: is that one off your chest?

Robert: yes, chef

Gordon: huh? but you got a big chest?

Robert: (giggles) yeah...yes chef

Gordon: ok Danny,tell me who you don't want on your team any longer

Danny: Lacey, chef

Gordon: why?

Danny: she has a piss poor attitude,she threaten walk out on this today...i think that's bullshit

Gordon: okay, Ben...who's your nominee and why?

Ben: my nominee is Lacey,chef (Robert laughs it sign of good riddance) she is not a team player and,she is pulling our team back than pushing us forward

Gordon: well,not exactly 'bonding', are we?

Blue team: yes chef!

Episode Eight [5.08]

Ben: Lacey, talk to me.

Lacey: I don't know! I honestly don't know!

Ben: (interview) Boy, oh boy. Lacey had no clue what she was doing.

Danny: [to Lacey] You got your lamb reheating?

Lacey: No! I can't–guys I'm...

Danny: Hey, it's cool, man. Just breathe, girl.

Ben: Come on, keep focused.

Danny: Get your lamb in the oven. Grab a pan. (interview) Lacey on the meat station was like... Oh, man! [to Lacey] That's gonna be up in four minutes, okay? (interview) Just spoon-feeding her, like... Relax, calm down. It's not that bad. [to Lacey] You're fine! Just tell me what you need.

Lacey: I don't know! That's the problem!

Gordon: How long, Ben?

Ben: I believe we're gonna need some more time for the meat station, chef.

Lacey: Ahhh...

Gordon: Talk to me, madam!

Lacey: I don't know how long, chef! Really, I don't!

Gordon: WHAT?!

Lacey: (interview) What do you want me to do, lie to him? Fuck it! I didn't know, I didn't lie to him!

Gordon: [to Danny] Get in there and help her!

Lacey: I'm no good at meat, guys! I told you that!

Danny: That's fine! Which one is your well done?

[Lacey's meat pan catches fire; Gordon approaches her station]

Gordon: Leave it! Fucking hell, what is that?!

Lacey: Wha-I...

Gordon: What is that, I said! Look at it! It's on fire!

Danny: Is this your well-done?

Lacey: (tearfully) I don't know.

Ben: (interview) She was lost. [makes a crying impression of Lacey] "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HUHU!!"

Gordon: What's the matter with you?!

Lacey: I CAN'T COOK MEAT, CHEF!

Gordon: What do you mean you can't cook meat?!

Lacey: Obviously I'm weak and confused...

Gordon: Hey madam, madam! Get out! GET OUT!!

Robert: (interview) Can't handle the heat, get out the kit-CHEN!!

Gordon: [follows Lacey to the pantry] "I can't cook meat?!"

Lacey: I–I'm sorry. I just got really confused.

Gordon: If you got confused, why didn't you say something?!

Lacey: I did and then Robert put the chicken and the chicken went on fire and...!

Gordon: Why can't you just make the effort?

Lacey: I'm trying to make an effort.

Gordon: Do you want to come back in there and make an effort?

Lacey: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Well, wake up and get a grip!! Come on! [leads Lacey out of the pantry]

Narrator: It's over an hour into dinner service, and while Ben and Lacey struggle to get out entrees...

Ben: Okay, I need you right now.

Lacey: You need to put me on something easier than fucking wellingtons.

Narrator: Robert has managed to handle the appetizers on his own.

Robert: C'mon, guys! Let's fucking do it!

Ben: Yeah, move!

[Robert bends over and a ripping sound is heard. As Ben and Lacey look on in shock, we see that Robert has split open the seat of his trousers. He carries on, unconcerned.]

Robert: Come on guys, keep pushing! (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"

Scott: (to Gordon) Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.

Robert: (interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit.

Gordon: Damn!

[Gordon checks on meat brought up by Lacey; finds that the lamb was badly carved]

Gordon: Oh, my God!

Lacey: Hmm... Fuck me!

Gordon: Come here, all of you! What is that? Fucking bone's thicker than the meat! WHAT IS THAT?!

Lacey: I DON'T KNOW CHEF!

Gordon: [throws the lamb in the bin] 'It's not good enough! GET OUT! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! PISS OFF!! [follows Lacey into the pantry] Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!

Lacey: I agree.

Gordon: Give me your jacket, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.

Lacey: [to the blue team] Thank you for everything!

[Danny quickly waves to Lacey and then resumes cooking; Ben and Robert ignore her altogether]

Robert: (interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, bee-yatch.

Gordon: Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.

Lacey: (interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. [packing her suitcase] Now I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I fucked up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.

[After Lacey was eliminated, the Blue team rallied and completed their service, while the Red team was nowhere completing theirs]

Gordon: Three of them in there cooking, they've [Blue team] sent all of their entrées. Five of you and we're still waiting on two wellingtons [points to Carol] from Ditsy. She [points to Andrea] gives me a rubber John Dory, she's [points to Carol] shouting at me about the oven, and she [points to LA] can't even give me hot mashed potatoes! One, two, three pathetic excuses from three pathetic women! I've had enough. Stoves off!

Gordon: LA was a real workhorse in the kitchen. I kicked her out of Hell's Kitchen because she lacked two crucial skills to be a great chef - leadership and creativity.

Episode Nine [5.09]

[The Blue Team are designing their menu for the upcoming service and Ben had came up with an idea that Danny and Robert have no clue and interest about]

Ben: I'm thinking halibut gentleman and I think that if we go ahead and we take a halibut and we really try and go out there and do a method for instance shallow poached

Robert: (interview) I'm thinking of three old rich fuddy-duddies and there like "I'll have the poached halibut"

Ben: Poached Alaskan halibut

Robert: (interview) "and please make it extra poached".

Ben: and pomme fondant (interview) neither one of them are used to doing refined methods of cooking

Danny: Pomme fondant like... I mean

Ben: Pomme fondant is going to be something that's done very old school French

Danny: (interview) I've worked in a lot of kitchens but uh... some of these terms that Ben says I have no idea what he's talking about

Ben: Pomme fondant

Danny: [tapping ash off a cigarette] Pomme fondant?

Ben: The beautiful potatoes uh... fondant and pomme fondant

Robert: (interview) Pomme fondant

Ben: Pomme fondant

Danny: (interview) I don't ever want to hear that term "pomme fondant" again I don't even know what it is

Ben: Shallow poached Alaskan halibut with confit tomatoes and pomme fondant, comma natural poaching liquid [Danny and Robert are still clueless about the dish]

Danny: [to Robert] What do you think?

Robert: (interview) I wouldn't order that! [to Danny and Ben] Sounds good

[Gordon checks on sauce brought up by Ben]

Gordon: Oh Ben!

Ben: Chef!?

Gordon: [returns the sauce to the workstation] Right, all three of you [Ben, Danny & Robert] come here. Here we go. [with spoons] Taste time! Quick, quick, dig in there, yes? Dig in. Make sure you take a nice big mouthful. Big mouthful. Mmmmmm. [spits out the sauce as does Robert]

Robert: (interview) I spit it right out. It was disgusting.

Gordon: Hey, salty soup! You're just reheating it!

Ben: Yes.

Gordon: So how can you fuck it?!

Ben: It was bland before I over reduced it, it's my fault, I should've tasted it chef.

Gordon: You're clumsy! You salted it!

Ben: Yes chef.

Gordon: You over seasoned it!

Ben: Yes I did, chef.

Gordon: You didn't over reduce it!

Ben: (interview) I'm a soldier, that's why I say yes chef.

Gordon: Hey clumsyfuck-

Ben: Yes, chef. I'm going to put one up right now, chef.

Gordon: Why are you always looking for excuses, you!?

Ben: No no, no excuses, chef. It was my fault! It's coming out right now!

Ben: (interview) I don't-I don't tuck my head in my fucking oven and cry! [sauce in the pan overflows]

Gordon: Oh my God, look at him, look at fucking him!

Gordon: One beef salad. Entrées: one bass, one New York steak.

[a woman comes up to the hotplate to reorder food]

Lady: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Yes, madam?

Lady: Totally flat. No flavor on the carpaccio. This the second time I've had to reorder.

Gordon: Okay, thank you. (to the blue team) Hey, get the veal along please, yes? Let's go.

Lady: Chef! [whistles to Gordon]

Gordon: (to the woman) Right! Don't whistle at me, I'm not your fucking dog, yeah? You look more like a dog than I do. Fuck off, will you?

[Gordon checks on potatoes brought up by Carol]

Gordon: Oh dear. Excuse me! Oh, dear! Let's go, come down! Hurry up! Taste them. There, there you go, there's a nice big slice for you. Aw, fuck it!

Carol: Hard and raw chef.

Gordon: Fucking hell! [throws the potatoes away] Why are the potatoes crunchy? Who cooked them then?

Carol: I did chef. If they go in the oven when the order comes in, they should be fully cooked. (interview) I don't know why they didn't cook. I never cooked potatoes that long before I sliced that thin.

Gordon: (To Jean-Philippe) Hey, come in here you! Have I got news for you, yeah? Tell him then, tell him! HE'S GOING TO GO AND EXPLAIN TO THE CUSTOMER!!

Jean-Philippe: What's happening?

Carol: The potatoes are undercooked. If they go in when the order comes in, they should be fine.

Jean-Philippe: What's undercooked?

Gordon: Say that again?!

Carol: If she [Andrea] fires it when the order comes in, when it's ready to go -

Gordon: Au-gratin dauphinois need to be cooked before service!

Carol: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Now you're blaming her.

Carol: I'm not blaming her chef.

Gordon: Hey, Andrea, she's trying to sabotage. She can't even tur -

Carol: I'm not.

Gordon: What?

Carol: I'm not sabotaging.

Andrea: (interview) I was embarrassed for Carol. She's pointing out other people's mistakes. Point me out! I dare you!

Gordon: Here's the next question, how long then til they cook?

Carol: Maybe ten minutes.

Gordon: Oh, look how cool she is! She said "maybe ten minutes"!

Carol: (interview) They should've been done. Why didn't they cook?

Gordon: (to the customers) MAYBE TEN MINUTES EVERYBODY, FOR YOUR AU-GRATIN DAUPHINOIS!! Look at them! The poor souls! Are you stupid?!

Carol: No, chef. I'm not.

Gordon: Bullshit! [throws his towel away]

Andrea: (interview) Those potatoes! I was embarrassed for Carol.

Gordon: Why didn't they cook to begin with?

Carol: Chef, yes, I cooked them in the cream for an hour.

Gordon: WHAT?!

Carol: Yes.

Gordon: You cooked them in the cream for an hour?

Carol: In boiling cream for an hour.

Gordon: Crunchy gratin dauphinois. Useless.

[Carol pours more cream over her potatoes]

Gordon: What is that on there?

Carol: I just poured more cream on it and I'm going to put it back in.

Gordon: My God! Oh, Jesus Christ! [gets the potatoes dumps them in the bin] Are you mad?

Carol: No, chef.

Andrea: (interview) There were no saving those potatoes. None whatsoever. They just looked like shit. They looked like fucking shit! It was awful.

Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to a fucking pig farm, madam. Forget it. [throws the tray into the sink] You don't care do you? Because if you did care, you wouldn't serve me that crap! This is supposed to be your exciting menu! Really?

Carol: (interview) I feel completely awful. This is such a great dish and I fucking ruined it!

Gordon: Carol knew she was out of her depth in Hell's Kitchen. I just put her out of her misery.

Episode Ten [5.10]

Gordon: On order, six covers table 20. Entrées: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one Dory. Wellington's medium, yes?

Final 6: Yes, chef!

Gordon: (to Andrea) Right Andrea, what's going? [gets no answer] No answer. I'm not in the best of moods, ah? I don't like being ignored in my own fucking kitchen. What's going?

Andrea: I have no idea, chef.

Gordon: Oh, my God almighty.

Robert: (interview) On garnish, you've got to be thirty seconds before everybody else. If she's not checking the tickets for us, we're screwed.

Gordon: Come here you. Story of your fucking life. Yeah, you have no idea.

Andrea: Absolutely not, chef.

Gordon: Hey, she's running the section, yet she has no idea of what's going. (to Giovanni) Tell her, chef.

Giovanni: Two wellingtons one medium, one medium-rare and lamb medium? I'm sorry, lamb medium-rare. Two lamb medium-rare.

Gordon: Oh, my God.

Robert and Ben Walanka: Two chicken.

Paula: Two chicken and a Dory.

Giovanni: Two wellington, Two chicken and a lamb.

Gordon: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one fucking Dory.

Final 6: Yes, chef!

Gordon: One wellington's medium, the rest is fucking nor-MAL.

Final 6: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Unlike us! (to Andrea) What's going, madam?

Andrea: I have no idea, chef.

Gordon: You have no idea.

Andrea: I have no idea, chef.

Gordon: Hey, come here you. Hey... fuck off! Hey madam, (points to the front entrance) through the door there! Fuck off!

Gordon: Dory, salmon, lamb, wellington!

Robert: Two minutes, chef!

Gordon: [notices Robert putting the bacon into the John Dory] Robert, just come here!

Robert: Oh, shit!

Gordon: Why have you put the bacon inside the Dory?

Robert: To crisp it up, chef, real quickly.

Gordon: What's the bacon with?

Robert: For the scallops.

Gordon: So why have you put it with the Dory? Suppose he's allergic to bacon! You can send somebody to the hospital on the back of that!

Robert: Oh, you're right.

Gordon: Oh, come on! [kicks a bin] "You're right"? Course, I'm fucking right! Get the bacon out!

Robert: (interview) Yeah, I fucked up and you know what? I know in my heart, I got it. I'm a bull.

Gordon: Come on, Mr Bacon Man!

Narrator: While Robert tries again on the John Dory, Chef Ramsay is counting on Giovanni on the meat station to get out the first entrée of the night.

[Gordon checks on chicken special at the pass]

Gordon: (with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?

Scott: Giovanni's best.

Gordon: Hey, Ben.

Ben Walanka: Chef?

Gordon: Is that a chewed up bit of chicken from the dog? Here. [gives the chicken to Ben] That's your special. Yeah, have a word with him, yeah? He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you wish with it. Your special has now become not very special thanks to dick-face there. Hurry up, Giovanni!

Giovanni: Yeah, but I'm not dick-face, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, say that again?!

Giovanni: I said I'm not dick-face, chef!

Gordon: Yeah, you're pissed, are you? Not as fucking- Look at me, LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES!! NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!! YOU FUCKING ARE!! DONKEY!!

Giovanni: No.

Ben: (interview) Whooo! Boy, oh boy!

Gordon: Because right now, I don't give a fuck! Dick-face!

Giovanni: (interview) I'm an emotional person, but he can get in my face all he wants, he will not break me.

Gordon: You're sending shit, and you're trying to get away with it! Now I'm ready for an argument! SENDING ME THAT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!

Robert: (interview) You know, he just wants you to pop off.

Gordon: And you want to get all sensitive! You want to get all fucking negative! Look at me, look at me, you send me shit like that, take your jacket and FUCK OFF!

Giovanni: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I'm not sending that shit, "chef!"

Giovanni: No, chef. Sorry, chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and... and he said something to me.

Gordon: That's the well done one. And look at me, I think you're too fucked to get upset with me, you don't give a fuck what I call you. This is not personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of shit, now pull it back!!

Giovanni: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Dick-face!

Gordon: Ben, why are you cutting the chicken and putting it back in?

Ben: It was not cooked all the way when it was cut chef.

Gordon: Doesn't it go dry when you cut it and put it in?

Ben: It's juicy chef.

Gordon: Oh, my God.

Ben: (interview) Every single service, Chef Ramsay finds something to really just nail my ass to the wall about.

Gordon: All the goodness is running out of it 'cause you cut through it, you thick cunt! Let's just stand back, and watch that chicken and the juice piss out of it. See all that there? Taste. It's delicious. Unfortunately, it should be the customer tasting it, not you. I think you've tasted enough.

Ben: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Fucking idiot.

Gordon: Giovanni, Robert! Hey Andrea, come here you! [gathers them at the corner] All three of you are pathetic! You (Giovanni) don't care...

Giovanni: I care, chef.

Gordon: You're (Robert) way behind, and you (Andrea) haven't got a fucking clue! Can we work together as a team?!

Giovanni, Robert and Andrea: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Two wellington. One well-done! Get it ON!!!

Danny: (interview) One station failed...

Scott: [Andrea's one pan catches fire] Pan's on fire! Pan's on fire!

Danny: ...and another station failed. It's no joke.

Gordon: We're going up in flames. [pick Andrea's pan]

Paula: (interview) First night with the Black team, one big cluster fuck.

Gordon: Same shit, different day! (throws the pan into the sink)

Scott: [Ben's pan also catches fire] What about the rest of the table? We need cover-up.

Gordon: Dynamic six, yeah. My fucking arse. Fuck off the lot of you! [walks out of the kitchen and throws his towel away]

Gordon: [calls the five chefs back in the kitchen after Giovanni's elimination.] I just spent the last hour upstairs in my office thinking. It just doesn't make sense! How can the final six be so shit? I called you all down here because on the back of that performance, I'm now going to do something I have never ever done before. I'm shutting down Hell's Kitchen.

Episode Eleven [5.11]

Narrator: After a couple of days without any word on how Robert is doing, Chef Ramsay calls the chefs down for a meeting.

Gordon: So you're feeling fresh, very relaxed. Did you enjoy the whole atmosphere at the Borgata Resort?

Danny: Very much so.

Ben: Incredible, Chef.

Gordon: Sadly, you came back minus one individual. Clearly, you're all deeply concerned. I'm not going to tell you how he's doing, I'm going to let him tell you himself. Chef Robert.

[Robert appears and everyone applauds and smile]

Gordon: Okay, big boy. Let me just say how pleased I am to see you.

Robert: Thank you.

Gordon: How are you feeling?

Robert: Not good.

Gordon: Ah?

Robert: Not good.

[Ben stops smiling.]

Gordon: What did the medics say?

Robert: I have pericarditis, which is the swelling of the sac around the heart which leads to heart disease.

[Gordon shakes his head in dismay, Andrea and Paula fight back tears.]

Gordon: Oh dear. Are you coming back?

Robert: No.

Gordon: No?

[Danny's face drops]

Robert: I'm not coming back.

[Ben has been struggling on the garnish station]

Gordon: What's going, Ben? (gets no response) Oh, my God almighty! Oh, come on. Three Dory, two salmon, one chicken. (sees what Ben is doing) Why is he putting the lettuce there like that? He's trying to sauté it.

Scott: I don't know, chef.

Gordon: Look at the mess of this guy.

Scott: He throwing everything in a pot.

Ben Walanka: (interview) I was just absolutely... just mind-boggled.

Gordon: [picks up a pan and a piece of lettuce] You've got a pan here like that and you're throwing lettuce on top like that... you're shit. You are so shit, you don't realise what you're doing!

Danny: (interview) Oh, man Ben! Like, come on. You know better than that.

Gordon: Hey, come here a minute. Why are you doing this? You're just adding the lettuce to the tomato and cucumber, you're not sautéing the lettuce?

Ben Walanka: Chef, I was in a side pan s-sautéing the tomatoes and the cucumbers, chef. But I did it wrong, chef.

Gordon: Yeah, you're fucking up, you're cutting corners, and you're slipping big time! Do you know what? Do you know your biggest problem? That'll always be the downfall of your career: you're full of fucking shit! Because every time you got fucking something wrong, you give a bullshit fucking excuse, but right now, I'm fed up with your bullshit excuses!

Ben Walanka: (interview) There's really nothing that I can do to please Chef Ramsay, and I'm slowly but surely being able to accept that.

Gordon: FUCK OFF!!

Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You're too dangerous to have on service. I asked you what you're doing, you said you're sautéing tomatoes, ARE YOU FUCK! YOU DIRTY PIG! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! Un-fucking-believable!

[Ben returns to the kitchen after a quick break]

Gordon: Yeah, right. Hey, you! Come here you! What's going through your mind now? You still going to fucking butcher me and slice me and serve shit to them?

Ben Walanka: No, chef!

Gordon: Where's your fight, man?

Ben Walanka: It's here, chef!

Gordon: Where is it?!

Ben Walanka: I got it, chef!

Gordon: Then wake up, you doughnut!

Ben Walanka: YES, CHEF!

Episode One [6.01]

(Louie has brought up his signature dish)

Gordon: What is that?

Louie: Sausage gravy over biscuits.

Gordon: Sausage gravy?

Louie: Yes.

Gordon: Over biscuits?

Louie: Yes. I sell about five gallons of it a week.

Gordon: Gallons? What, you sell this to pigs?

Louie: No, actually, I own a diner.

Gordon: Uh-huh, okay. And how much do you charge for that?

Louie: $4.75.

Gordon: $4.75?

Louie: Yeah. With coffee.

[Gordon tastes some of the dish, and quickly spits it out in disgust]

Gordon: Fuck me.

Louie: What's wrong with it?

Gordon: What's wrong with it? It tastes like gunk.

Louie: [glares at Gordon] (interview) Hundreds of people eat that in my diner each week. I don't think it was worth spitting out!

Joseph: (interview) I feel like a dog that's been taken off his leash. I'm hungry, I'm hungry and I want this, and I'm going to get it. None of them will get in my fucking way.

Gordon: So, this is...?

Joseph: This right here's a roasted veal chop, with roasted root vegetables.

Gordon: Uh-huh. Lovely colour on there.

Joseph: Thank you.

Gordon: What a shame the Brussels sprouts are rock hard. Are they supposed to be that crunchy?

Joseph: No, they're not.

Gordon: (gives a sprout to Joseph) Will you have a little taste for me please?

Joseph: Absolutely. You got a fork? (interview) I ain't no animal. If there's a fork available, I like to fucking use it.

Gordon: You can bite that. You're a big boy.

Joseph: I'm not an animal. (interview) Do I look like a caveman? Do I eat with my fucking hands?

Gordon: Don't get defensive. Relax.

Tony: (interview) I was like "Damn! Throw it down, Chef Ramsay!"

Gordon: Are you mad?

Joseph: (interview) Me and him, we're going to go head to head, without a fucking doubt. I will drag him out to the parking lot by his fucking jacket and stomp the shit out of him. That's bullshit! I nailed that fucking dish. He knew it and I knew it! No fucking way!

Gordon: (to Tony and Amanda) Let's go.

[Tony and Amanda went in front of Gordon to present their dishes]

Amanda: Two seconds chef. I need to grab one thing.

[Amanda returns to the pass to get two shots of tequila]

Gordon: What's that?

Amanda: Tequila.

Gordon: Tequila.

Amanda: (interview) I'm definitely asking Chef Ramsay to do a shot of tequila with me. It goes with the dish.

Gordon: And what's your dish?

Amanda: Margarita French toast with tequila lime butter.

Gordon: Show me? [looking at Amanda's dish] I thought you were joking. You're cooking a slice of fucking toast dipped in egg with...

Amanda: Tequila.

Gordon: ...to get me drunk.

Amanda: (interview) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four... (cuts to Amanda took a shot of tequila) Give me a lot more! Keep on going!

[Gordon was shocked at Amanda]

Lovely: (interview) Are you kidding me? (laughs) Why would you do that?

Gordon: [raises a piece of toast with a knife] That's it? (brief pause) What the fuck were you doing for 42 minutes? Because that takes literally 3 minutes. SHOCKING!

Melinda: We have a poached lobster and savory portobello mushrooms. (interview) My dish is very rich and succulent and luscious and velvety. You just feel what's happening on your mouth and the satisfaction that comes. [laughs]

[Melinda lifts the lid off her dish, revealing that the mushrooms make up most of the dish, with just a few small chunks of lobster scattered around; Gordon is shocked]

Gordon: Where's the lobster tail? [portions her dish] Where's the fucking tail?

Melinda: During the cooking process, I had some challenges.

[Gordon raises the "tail"]

Gordon: Poached lobster tail, where's the fucking tail? [grabs Melinda's plate and throws it in the trash] ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PATHETIC!

Sabrina Gresset: (interview) Dang... That's another zero.

[Before dinner service started]

Narrator: But moments from opening, his optimism...

Gordon: [sees some fondants at the pass] Oh, dear. Who cooked these?

Narrator: ...begins to fade.

Gordon: Who cooked the fondants?

Sabrina Gresset: Lovely.

Gordon: [calls out Lovely] Lovely!

Lovely: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Which they're not... come here! Why these are cooked? We put it in the oven when the order comes on.

Lovely: Yes, chef.

Gordon: We haven't even opened yet and you cooked them.

Tennille: (interview) That's all we have to work with. We're fucking screwed.

Gordon: [raises one fondant] Look at that! [scoops the fondant and drops it] Look. It's like a fucking hockey puck. Oh, my God! We're not even opened yet and you screwed it up! What a fucking disaster!

Sabrina Gresset: (interview) That's it. The end.

Gordon: Get fffucked!!

Suzanne: (interview) Obviously I was thrown in a kitchen with a bunch of circus clowns!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Jim]

Gordon: Jim!!!!!

Jim: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Look at me. Three scallops cut in half means what?

Jim: Six pieces.

Gordon: I've got four! Are you doing this on purpose to get me going?

Jim: No.

Dave: (interview) Don't insult Chef Ramsay's intelligence.

Gordon: So look at me. Count to six for me.

Jim: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Gordon: Louder!

Jim: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6!

Gordon: THEN WAKE UP!!

Jim: Yes, chef. (interview) I just wasn't paying attention. Ones and twos, and threes and twos, and I thought I had yahtzee at one point.

Gordon: Jim, one minute out, drop six pieces of scallop.

Jim: Yes, chef.

[Gordon checks the scallops on Tek's station]

Gordon: Look at this. I swear to God, [gets some scallops] it's the kind of shit you'd expect Tiger Woods to tee off with. Look at it. Rubber, rubber, RUBBER!! [throws the scallops away]

Narrator: But, they have to start over.

Gordon: (on Melinda's cappelini) It's limp and shit!

Narrator: And over.

Gordon: (on Tek's scallops) It's fucking raw!! [throws the scallops away]

[Gordon notices Louie putting an unseasoned lamb in the oven]

Gordon: Louie? Did you just put the lamb in the oven?

Louie: Yes, sir.

Gordon: OH, MY GOD! [calls out the entire team] Hey guys come here quick! At least you know, Louie's on entrées and the fucking lamb goes in the oven like that. No salt, no pepper, no seasoning, not even seared! [slams the lamb on the plate] (to Louie) Louie, why do we sear meat?

Louie: To lock in the juices, sir.

Gordon: To give it colour, to improve the flavour!

Louie: Sorry, sir.

Jim: (interview) You're a man. There's a primary instinct inside you that knows how to cook meat. You need to find it.

Gordon: Fucking hell!

[Gordon returns to the Red kitchen for the Red team's appetizers]

Gordon: For the eighth time, can I have one fucking scallops and a fucking beautifully cooked capellini?!

Gordon: (on Melinda's capellini) Is that cooked? It looks undercooked.

Melinda: Is it cooked?

Gordon: (tastes the capellini) Not cooked.

Melinda: Not cooked?

Gordon: Nah, that's not cooked. Not cooked. (Melinda throws the undercooked capellini away) Oh, my God! Why did you throw that away, Melinda? Just put it back on the stove, put the lid on the top and, 30 seconds cooking it! What do you do, you just... trash it straight away!

Sabrina Gresset: (interview) Melinda... she had that deer-in-the-headlights look and that'll kill you.

Gordon: (Discovers a capellini thrown in the bin) Look at all this fucking... who's putting all this in the bin?! How many portions are you putting in there? How much is in the bin?! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

Narrator: An hour into dinner service and the red team has cooked ten appetizers. But unfortunately, none of them have made it to the dining room.

Gordon: (to Melinda) Hey, madam, how much capellini are you throwing away? (Melinda doesn't reply) Look at it! What are you doing, Melinda?! What are you doing?!

[Melinda begins attempted interview and doesn't speak]

Gordon: You're making me mad!

Melinda: Yes, Chef.

Gordon: Fucking mad!

Melinda: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Salmon, lamb please, how long?

Tennille: Seven minutes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, what's that piece of shit there?

Suzanne: It's supposed to be the salmon.

Gordon: Holy fuck! Look at that. It's like a... bison's penis - what is that shit? [opens up the salmon wrap, revealing the interior to be totally frozen] Look at that! Stone-cold, frozen salmon. Who put the salmon in the freezer?

Amanda: Me. I fucked it up. (interview) The salmon was my fault because I stuck it in the freezer instead of the fridge, and it was frozen.

Gordon: Yeah, you fucked up, big time!

Tek: All the salmon's the same, I think we should try and fix it.

Gordon: Yeah, 'cos she's wrapped it frozen.

Heather: And we have five on order.

Gordon: We've got five on order?

Heather: Five on order.

Gordon: (to Amanda) Hey, ditzy! Great job!

Amanda: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Oh, fuck off.

[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Louie]

Gordon: Louie! [raises a chewed up piece of lamb] Wha... what is that?! What is that?! Did you bite that? Look! That's one, that's the other! It's on the same fucking table!!

Joseph: (interview) Louie's lost. He's out of his league.

[Gordon discovers that Louie has wasted a huge amount of lamb]

Gordon: What's all that lamb here? Look at this! Hey, Van! You, hey, Joseph! Stop! Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! LOUIE!

Louie: Yes, sir?

Gordon: Fuck off back there! GET OUT! Yes! Get FUCKED! Pile of SHIT! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed...

Louie: Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?

Gordon: Yeah, you can help me! GET OUT!!

Louie: (interview) You want me out? You want me to pack my fucking bags? I'm out. My bags are packed. YOU CAN KISS - MY - FUCKING - ASS!!

Narrator: With the kitchen at a complete standstill, Chef Ramsay is left with no choice.

Gordon: (to Joseph) Switch it OFF!

Joseph: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (to the red team) Fuck off!

[Gordon sits with Robert at one of the tables]

Gordon: First of all, it's bloody good to see you. Yes.

Robert: Thank you chef, thank you.

Gordon: You lost your opportunity due to health reasons... right now, I'd love you to seriously consider [pause for effect] coming back into Hell's Kitchen.

Robert: (interview) I've a second chance, and you know, you don't get many second chances in life! (to Gordon) I would love to take that offer. [applause from the other tables]

Gordon: Melinda was completely lost in space. So I sent her back to whatever planet she came from.

Episode Two [6.02]

[During the Blue Team's reward where they are having Shrimp Cocktails with Gordon]

Gordon: Enjoy it.

Dave: It's a treat to be sitting here by Chef and not being screamed at.

Gordon: Trust me, each and every service, you're going to get stronger. Have you any idea how much shit I've taken in the kitchen? And the more I took, the better I became.

Joseph: (interview) What am I learning by shooting shit? Nothing. What gets accomplished by running your mouth? Not a thing.

Joseph: I didn't come here for lunches you know. That's not what I'm here for. I'm not going to lose my eye on the prize.

Dave: Well, we're fired up too, man. I'm not relaxing because I get to have a good nice lunch with the chef.

Joseph: It's good to get out but I don't really care.

Dave: (interview) Joseph, he's a complete dick. He's a little hotheaded, and he's being a little too intense in the way he disrespects Chef Ramsay.

Narrator: Lovely is having trouble getting started.

Gordon: [sees some scallops on Tek's station] Stop, stop! What's the scallops doing down here?

Lovely: It wasn't hot enough, Chef. I won't get a nice sear on it.

Gordon: What?! [goes to Lovely's station; finds that the stove is not on] It's off! Turn the fucking gas up! You can't cook with no gas!

Lovely: (interview) Well, duh? I thought they were on. (to Gordon) Tek told me they were on.

Tek: (interview) It's your responsibility to turn on the flame. I mean, come on.

Gordon: Now, it's on!

Lovely: I apologize, Chef.