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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [5.01]

Gordon: And the name of the dish is what?
Danny: Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.
Gordon: It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.
Danny: (interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually going to get.
Gordon: So the idea came from where?
Danny: I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.
Gordon: Put it back in there because it sucks.
Gordon: Who's cooked the diapers?
Colleen: No diapers, sir. That's chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name's Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: COL-leen.
Gordon: What do you do for a living?
Colleen: I am a culinary instructor and I own a recreational cooking school.
Gordon: And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?
Colleen: No, I am not a trained chef.
Gordon: So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.
Colleen: That's correct.
Gordon: How much do you charge?
Colleen: 300 per three to four hours.
Gordon: Right. Look at the size of it.
Colleen: I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?
Gordon: No, I'll bite it myself. (tries dish, spits it out)
Colleen: Great.
Gordon: You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my arse.
Colleen: (interview) It was extremely difficult to just stand there and keep my mouth shut? (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.
Gordon: Say that again?
Narrator: Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.
Gordon: Okay, please Miss Manners, (bleep) off back in line.
Gordon: It looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.
Seth: Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.
Gordon: How long have you been cooking?
Seth: Fifteen years around.
Gordon: And what is it?
Seth: Cinnamon crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.
Gordon: The ratatouille, what's in there?
Seth: Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.
Gordon: (spits out food) How come the aubergine's so sweet?
Seth: There's some honey, uh...
Gordon: Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?
Crowd: No, chef.
Gordon: That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. (Seth laughs) Fifteen years to cook that (bleep) and you're laughing. You could make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm (bleep) serious, you know that. Back in line. (Seth goes back in line) The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.
Seth: I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I gotta prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

[Lacey and Coi are arguing during prep. Gordon approaches Coi]

Gordon: What's the matter?
Coi: This station is (bleep) up.
Lacey: Come on, Coi.
Coi: (to Lacey) Don't say a (bleep) thing! (to Gordon) I come over here, there's nothing (bleep) done, chef. Nothing.
Lacey: (to Coi) Now why don't you tell him that you're threatening me.
Gordon: (to Coi and Lacey) Oh, wait. Right. I'm just about to open the doors, okay? Don't panic. I'm not asking you to be lovebirds, okay?
Coi: Absolutely.
Gordon: Calm down, get a grip and show me some form of composure, yes?
Coi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Gordon: On order six covers, table 20. Two spaghetti, two scallops, one risotto, one Caesar. Entrées, three wellington, get them in!
Robert: [shouting over Gordon] Ben you guys, get going!
Ben: I'm coming! I'm coming!
Gordon: Hey you. Hey (bleep)-wit, Come here you. Come here! I'm calling out an order and you just shout over.
Robert: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: You (bleep) call out the order then. You (bleep, bleep) call out the order!
Robert: I need one Caesar, two scallops, one risotto and two spaghetti now! (interview) Yeah, give me the reigns man! Let me drive this bitch!
Gordon: You (bleep) interrupt me again next time, you're going for an early bath. A big one in the hot tub!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Danny]

Gordon: Danny? Come here, that's you. Overcooked scallops, let's go. It's not exactly rocket science.
Danny: Well obviously, chef. [angrily slams his pan; Gordon gives him a dirty look]
Gordon: (to Danny) Hey you, come here you.
Danny: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Okay, can you cook like a team member?
Danny: I'll wash their station and my station, chef.
Gordon: How about communicating with them?
Danny: I did, chef.
Gordon: Don't (bleep) dare start getting (bleep) pissed with me. Is that clear?
Danny: Chef, yes, chef.
Gordon: Good. Now JUST SHUT THE (bleep) UP!!!
[Power supply shuts down]

[Gordon looks for spaghetti in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the other spaghetti?
[Gordon notices Colleen starting a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan]
Gordon: Madam, come here. (gets Colleen's pan) You're starting a fresh one in dirty pan!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh!
Colleen: (interview) The pan that I've already used and I didn't have the chance to wipe it. I felt like an idiot.
Gordon: You teach people how to cook! [slams the pan down on her station]
Colleen: We have no more pans, chef.
Gordon: (gets some pans from Andrea's station) Look! Pan, pan, pan!
Colleen: Than you, chef.
Gordon: You're going to start a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan! HOLY CRAP!!
Narrator: Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.
Gordon: Why's it all (bleep) mangled?
Scott: He didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.
Gordon: Hey, Forrest! Come here, you.
Seth: (interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!
Gordon: You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardise it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?
Ben: (interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.
Gordon: Would you get excited to come here and eat that (bleep)?
Seth: Absolutely not.
Gordon: Yeah, (bleep) off will you?
Seth: (interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!
Narrator: It's two and a half hours into the dinner service, and while Colleen has finally mastered the spaghetti, she still has a lot to learn about risotto.
Gordon: Look! (tastes the risotto) Hey!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Taste!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Gordon spits out the risotto in disgust]
Gordon: That's the risotto! That, quite frankly, is the worst risotto I've ever tasted in my entire cooking career. Why's it so sweet? Who put sugar in there?
Colleen: (holding up a pot of sugar) I grabbed this. I thought it was salt.
LA: (interview) Are you (bleep) kidding me?
Gordon: That... (throws the risotto in the trash) is (bleep)! Oh, my God!
Gordon: Mashed potatoes?
Wil: [brings his garnishes to the pass; grows disappointed] (Bleep)!
Gordon: What are you doing, Wil?
Wil: Sorry, chef. I don't know if this is very hot. (to his team mates) You got a cold sizzle?
Gordon: Wil!
Wil: Yes, chef?
Gordon: You're (bleep)!
Wil: Yes, chef. I am.
Gordon: You are so (bleep), it's unbelievable!
Gordon: Are you on the garnish now, Robert?
Robert: I just want to help him out (referring Wil), chef.
Gordon: Charlie's on the garnish, Robert's on the garnish, and Wil is on planet cuckoo.
Charlie: (interview) Wil got threw on a dogs in a garnish station that I may got help him and it's ugly.
Gordon: Wil, there's no one cooking in the kitchen that helped you with the garnish tonight?
Wil: (interview) We are receiving on a Chef Ramsay's wrath. Yeah, that's we suck.
Gordon: Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Gordon: Garnish, please! (to Wil) What in the (bleep) are you two doing?
Carol: (interview; sees the customers leaving the kitchen) Oh no! When the customers got up and starting to walk out, I'm shocked.
Gordon: Let's go, 22!
Waiter: 22 just left.
Gordon: Twenty-two. 22 just left.
Giovanni: My table, god it left.
Gordon: (to Robert; catches the plates) Hey! Hey, you! Hey, catch! THEY JUST LEFT! THEY JUST (bleep) LEFT!
Giovanni: The rest of tables got walked out.
Lady: Alright. Out of Hell's Kitchen.
Gordon: Switch it off! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! (goes to the red kitchen) Come here, all of you! (calls the blue team) Come here, all of you! Yeah, take a look at there! Pathetic, absolute embarrassment utter crap! Clear down! CLEAR DOWN!!!

Episode Two [5.02]

Lacey: (interview) I can't just give up. I'm here to compete, i'm here to cook. You know, I need to be here to prove that. I can't just go home.

[Lacey enters the red kitchen]

Lacey: Sorry i'm late.
Paula: (interview) Sorry you're late? You're not late. You weren't even here.
LA: How was your nap? [everyone looks at Lacey]
Andrea: (interview) It just seems like it's everybody against Lacey. And you know, she made that bed. So, as the saying goes, lay in it.
Lacey: Good times. Good times.
Gordon: The scallops are cooked, are they?
Colleen: Yes.
Gordon: Why are they still in the pan as they cook? They're going to be overcooked, you stupid cow! Oh, my God! Who cooked the scallops last service? Who was that?
Lacey: I did, chef.
Gordon: Come here you. Show her how to cook a (bleep) scallop. By the way, she's not charging $300. This is free now. (Colleen) All you've got to do is stand back.
Carol: (interview) Colleen runs a cooking school, but she has no experience on the line and it clearly shows.
Gordon: (to Lacey) Teach madam (Colleen) here how to cook a (bleep) scallop!
Lacey: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (Bleep)!! Unbelievable!
Lacey: (interview) I almost felt honored in a weird way.
Gordon: (to Ji) Ji, is your ankle hurting?
Ji: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, so is my (bleep) head! It's throbbing!

[Lacey brings Colleen's scallops to the pass]

Gordon: Colleen!! Do you see a difference? Pink in the middle, color both sides yes?
Colleen: Yes, I do, chef.
Gordon: By the way, did she (Lacey) charge you?
Colleen: (brief pause) No, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, thank (bleep) for that. Let's go. God bless Nebraska.
Narrator: Seth and Charlie have delivered their lobster spaghetti to the pass.

[Gordon checks the spaghetti; finds out that there's no lobster in it]

Gordon: There's no (bleep) lobster in it.
Scott: Doesn't look like it, no.
Narrator: But, it's missing one key ingredient.
Gordon: (returns to the workstation and pushes pans aside) Hey, (bleep)-wit! Come here you! Come here!
Charlie: What's this?
Gordon: There's no (bleep) lobster in it!
Charlie: (Bleep)!!
Gordon: How can you give it to me with no lobster in there?!
Charlie: We're stupid, chef. Apologies.
Gordon: Wake up, Charlie!!
Charlie: Yes, chef! Yes, chef!
Gordon: And you (Seth), docile (bleep) idiot! What's the dish called?
Seth: Uhm... Uhm...
Gordon: Spaghetti of lobster!!
Seth: (interview) I feel like I just got hit by a train!

[Gordon checks the salmon brought up by Colleen]

Gordon: Oh, my god! (comes back to the workstation) Come here, you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here. (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?
Colleen: (brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.
Gordon: You don't have it. Hey, look, come here, there you go, look at that. (holds up the salmon) Look, look, hold on, hey! Don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's (bleep) raw in the middle.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Gordon angrily throws the salmon away]
Gordon: (Bleep) useless! (Bleep, bleep)! You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?
Colleen: No, I'm not joking, chef.
Gordon: Tell me, tell me you're pumping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?
Colleen: No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.
Gordon: Your (bleep) business is not like my business. Hey, madam, let's get that (bleep) right.
Colleen: You're right.
Gordon: YOU'RE ROBBING PEOPLE! YOU'RE A THIEF! I'M CONCERNED FOR THE POOR BASTARDS THAT YOU'VE TAKEN MONEY OFF OF! (spots another piece of salmon burning) Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.
Colleen: It IS black!
Gordon: GOD!!!
Colleen: Both of them!
Gordon: (Bleep)! (Bleep)!!!! IT'S BLACK!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Carol: These are burning.
Colleen: I know.
Gordon: Hey, madam, madam. GET OUT! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! Lacey, get on the fish.
Lacey: Yes, chef!
Colleen: (interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not going to break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not going to break me.

[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Giovanni]

Gordon: Giovanni! (returns to the workstation)
Giovanni: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Hey, all of you come here! (Pointing to Danny) He's cooking his arse off, surrounded by five muppets, yeah? The temperature's perfect, and I get that (bleep, bleep) there, look. Yeah, i'm not giving that. Would you eat that? (throws the burnt salmon to Seth) Go on, eat it, eat it. (to Seth) Would you eat that?
Seth: No, chef.
Gordon: (to Giovanni) Would you eat that?
Giovanni: No, chef
Gordon: (Walks up to Giovanni) Hey, you can be pissed off. You got every (bleep) right to be pissed off. you know that, yes?
Giovanni: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (Bleep) raw!!
Giovanni: (interview) I've never had a chef come that close to me in my life. He can yell at me from across the kitchen, he doesn't have to get 2 inches away from my face.

Episode Three [5.03]

[during the meat labelling challenge, with both teams both having five correct labels so far]
Seth: (interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.
Ben: Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!
[Seth lightly taps the bell]
Gordon: I can't hear that!
Ben: Ring the (bleep) bell!
[Seth hits the bell harder]
Gordon: Seven wrong for blue, let's go.
Charlie: Holy (bleep)! We're working backwards!
J: (interview) SETH, WHAT THE (bleep) ARE YOU DOING?!
Narrator: Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.
Carol: Come on, Lacey!
Lacey: (interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.
Colleen: Come on! We can do this!
LA: Move it, Lacey!
Andrea: (interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.
[Robert rings the men's bell]
Gordon: Six wrong.
Narrator: Robert has only improved on Seth by one.
Carol: (to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!
[Lacey rings the bell]
Gordon: Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!
Gordon: Why aren't the shrimp on? Get them on! Come on, Charlie.
Charlie: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: Unbelievable. A Caesar salad and we're in the (bleep)! [spots that Charlie's cooking cloth has caught fire] Your cloth's on fire! YOUR CLOTH'S ON FIRE!
J: (interview) Charlie, wake the (bleep) up, man.
Gordon: Get it in the water please, Scott, before he burns the place down.
Charlie: I'm doing my best, chef.
Scott: (throws the cloth in the sink) If that's your best, you might wanna rethink your best a little bit.
Narrator: It's thirty minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.
Ben: [walking to the pass with some chocolate brownie desserts] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts...
Narrator: Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.
Gordon: (Bleep)-head, put them down. Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate (bleep) brownie. [tosses one dessert on the counter] WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Seth: (interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he brought up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid (bleep), but that's embarrassing.
Gordon: So, let's do it this way, then. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve a chocolate brownie before we serve the appetizers.
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: You've got cheesecake made as well!
Ben: Yes, chef.
Gordon: We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out (bleep) appetizers!
Ben: It was my fault, chef. (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but (bleep) me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"
Gordon: Have you been drinking or sniffing?
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.
Ben: No, no, chef!
Gordon: Go upstairs for a lie-down! [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben rushes back into the kitchen.]
[Lacey returns a Caesar salad to the pass]
Gordon: What's the matter?
Lacey: She just didn't know if there were anchovies on it.
Gordon: You got what you asked for.
Lacey: I know, chef.
Gordon: So what did you (bleep) up? I know you find this is, yeah I know you laugh and it's funny.
Lacey: I'm not laughing! I'm trying not to cry.
Gordon: You're (bleep) worse than Britney Spears, you jumped-up bitch!

[Carol comes back to the pass with filet mignon]

Carol: They say they want to re-fire it a little bit, chef.
Gordon: Giovanni, Robert come here! Robert, bounce your way down here. Let's go. [portions the beef] (pounds the counter) Touch it! Touch it!
Giovanni and Robert: It's cold.
Gordon: (Bleep, bleep)!! [throws the beef away] It's still walking, that (bleep) piece of beef!
Danny: (interview) It pisses me off. We have the executive chef of a steakhouse running our grill. Wake up, get it together and put out some decent food.
Gordon: Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Thank (bleep) I've never been to your steakhouse! It's (bleep) blue!
Giovanni: Yes, chef!
Narrator: With just 30 minutes left, Jean Philippe is looking for Lacey.
Jean Philippe: Table 23. The Table you forgot.
Lacey: I have to go up there and tell them to fire it?
Jean Philippe: Who el... Who else is going to do it?
Lacey: Jean Phillipe I never waited table before!!!
Jean Philippe: (Gobbles) Can you just go and ask the chef to fire It (Trying to do Lacey voice), (Gobbles)
Lacey: I need the main course for 23 fired. Thanks chef.
Gordon: Hey Madam (Lacey), We just taking the order in now??? Why did it take so long???
Jean Philippe: She forgot the table.
Gordon: (Shakes Head and angrily swats Lacey away)
Lacey: Yeah, "(Bleep) off with me!" I know.
Gordon: (To the Blue Team) Lacey forgot the ORDER!!!
[after Seth's attempt at butchering the filet mignon, Ramsay has discovered a huge amount of wasted meat]
Gordon: Hey, all of you, here! Quickly! There's the filet, yes? Look at the (bleep) waste! (Empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified) That's what he took off, and there's the filet. Look at the filet!
Giovanni: (interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for less. It looked like he went at it with a jackhammer.
Gordon: We've (bleep) wasted the most expensive part! (hurls the offcuts to Seth) Look at it! What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one?
Narrator: With only fifteen minutes of dinner service left, Seth has butchered the filet. And possibly the Blue Team's hope of winning dinner service.
Gordon: How can you do that?
Seth: I never butchered a filet before chef.
Gordon: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: (smiles) Thank you, yes...
Gordon: Hey, smart-arse, not in the right way, you (bleep) bozo!
Seth: (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I'll know for next time.
[two minutes remain of the Blue team's half of the service]
Gordon: Where's the New York strip?!
Giovanni: Chef, I'm four minutes away!
Gordon: Oh, my God. SWITCH IT OFF!! We're now over two hours, (Giovanni) He (Bleep) the filet! (Charlie) The shrimps go down! (Ben Walanka) This (bleep) sent me dessert before the appetizers! (throws his apron) (bleep) off! (to Jean-Philippe) Jean Philippe, shut it down, yes? Two hours over. Clear down!!!
Robert: (interview; tonight was originally planned to have been his wedding) I've embarrassed myself, my family, my girlfriend. (throws his buff off angrily)
[Customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]
Ben Walanka: Here we go. Here comes the pain.
Gordon: Where's the four Caesar salad, two shrimp?
Colleen: Coming chef. These were two, one and one.
Gordon: Where's the (bleep) four I asked for?
Coi: Four Caesar salad, two shrimp!
Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You're doing this on purpose.
Colleen: No I'm not, I swear. You said two. One and one.
Gordon: Look at me! Look at me! Four (bleep) salads.
Colleen: (interview) There's always the person in your life that's being grumpy and you know not being nice. Then there is one that Chef Ramsay whose the arrogant vicious attack dog.
Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey, Madam, you're (bleep) pathetic!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Four salad, three shrimp, one plain! (Colleen) Oh no, come here! What's going?
Colleen: Four Caesar salad, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: One more!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: One more!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: And last time!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three...
Gordon: (visibly shocked) Oh, my God!
Colleen: ... SHRIMP, ONE PLAIN!
Gordon: Oh you (bleep) idiot! SO (bleep)! She's not normal, she can not be normal.
Lacey: (interview) My God! Colleen, if we lose tonight and I go home, I swear to God, I hope you can't sleep at night because you deserve to go home more than I.

Episode Four [5.04]

Colleen: How could we lose with cheerleaders on our side? Yeah! V, V-I, V-C-I-T-O-R-Y! (a caption reading "Vcitory???" appears)
Danny: I'm not a hero, I never said I was.
Giovanni: You said that earlier.
J: Yeah, you said you were the best cook.
Danny: I am obviously the best cook on the team.
Ben: You want to hear something, dude? I will cook circles around you! I will circle you like a (bleep) moon!
Danny: Where have you been?
Giovanni: Hey, hey! Ben, quiet! Danny, quiet!
Ben: Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my (bleep)!
Gordon: On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.
Blue Team: Yes, Chef!
Danny: [to Giovanni] Is it [the water] boiling?
Gordon: How long?
Giovanni: I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.
Gordon: You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?!
Giovanni: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: [interview] Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?
Gordon: Hey, look at me! There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!
Giovanni: [interview] Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.
Gordon: Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...
Narrator: While Giovanni is in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi is trying to get ahead.

[Gordon notices Coi cooking pasta]

Gordon: (to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti? We haven't even fired it! DAMN!!!
Coi: (Bleep)!
Gordon: Why?!
Coi: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: I can't believe this!! Why can't you just drop it to order?!
Coi: I will, chef.
Gordon: Tell me why you can't!!
Coi: I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.
Gordon: You can't get ahead! You're not that good!
Coi: (interview) I was trying to take so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass so, if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.
Gordon: Coi? Put some more spaghetti in to make yourself...
Coi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hey, I'm joking you stupid cow!

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with a ceasar salad]

Gordon: What's wrong with that?
Jean-Philippe: That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.
[Gordon checks the salad, then finds a butt of lettuce in it]
Gordon: Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the ceasar salad?
J: I did chef.
[Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the team members]
J: (whispering) (Bleep)!
[Gordon returns the butt of lettuce to the plate and angrily slams the plate on the floor]
Gordon: Oy, bozo! Are you (bleep) stupid?!
J: No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freakin' lettuce. I should have seen it, it's a disgrace. It really is.
Gordon: Did you see that?
J: I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.
Giovanni: (interview) Pretty hard to believe that butt of lettuce went out there. It's pretty hard to miss that big lettuce when you try to toss it in a small salad.
Gordon: Un-(bleep)-believable.

[Gordon checks the lamb brought up by Ben Walanka]

Gordon: Come here! All of you, come here! Put it down! (to Ben) Put it (bleep) down! What is that?
Ben Walanka: Lamb chop, sir.
Gordon: Lamb chop, yeah? Eat it. (gives the lamb to Ben) Happy now? Now it's getting thinner and thinner and thinner. Look, there's another one that's ripped to (bleep) there now. Too thin, cowboy!
Robert: (interview) I'm like. "Oh, why are sending that out?" It looked like a piece of carppacio on a bone, man.
Gordon: (to Ben) How can someone so (bleep) fat slice something so (bleep) thin?!
Ben Walanka: Sorry, chef. It won't happen again, chef.
Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to my (bleep) dog!
Ben Walanka: I'll fix it right now, chef.
Gordon: Hey, hey, come here, you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?
Colleen: The medium one's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the medium-well?
Colleen: The medium-well's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the well done one, then?
Colleen: It's right here, Chef.
Gordon: So what the (bleep) is this one?
Colleen: I don't know.
Gordon: You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"
Gordon: On order, four covers, table three. One scallops, one spaghetti, one risotto, one caesar...
Seth: (to Giovanni) Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!
Gordon: Entrees: One Dory, one chicken, one lamb, one wellington.
Giovanni: It's coming.
Seth: Right here.
Gordon: Seth! SETH!
Seth: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Come here! What did I just call out?
Seth: (wiping his face with a cloth) I... I don't know, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, I know you don't know because you weren't even (bleep) prepared to listen. No wonder you're struggling.
[Seth uses the same cloth he just wiped his face with to clean a pan, then wipes his face with it again]
Gordon: What is he doing? Hey, you. Hey, you! Come here! (takes the cloth from Seth, and looks at him in disgust)
Seth: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe a pan. If this one's for your (bleep) nose, where's your cooking cloth?
Seth: I'll, uh, have to get one, chef.
Gordon: (throws the cloth back at Seth) Yeah, (bleep) off, will you?

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with more food]

Gordon: (disappointed) What is going on? Oh no! Oh! [cuts to Coi accidentally dropped her spaghetti on her station] (Bleep) off. Oh, no... (Bleep)! Look at that! You guy (Robert), come here you, fat (bleep)! Come here! All of you come here! COME HERE! Hey, look at me. You are pathetic. No one's won! (Bleep) off! Both teams start thinking about two of you to (bleep) go home. You, pathetic! I don't want anymore. I don't want to wait for your (bleep) anymore. I don't want your (bleep) anymore. I don't want you drying your face and then (bleep) cooking with a cloth, YOU SCUMMY (bleep)! GET OUT!!! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben. Chef Ramsay walks towards him] Get out!
Gordon: Something's really bugging me, you know that? And I can't stop thinking about it and here's why. If a customer goes out for dinner and their steak is overcooked or undercooked, it gets redone. And they move on and enjoy the evening. But if a customer goes out for dinner and they get served a butt of lettuce, that's how reputations get destroyed in minutes butthead! [to J]

Episode Five [5.05]

[Gordon asks for wellingtons in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the wellington, please?
Andrea: Chef, I'm re-firing the wellington. The bottom's burning.
Gordon: (begins searching) Where's the medium-well wellington?
Andrea: I'm putting projector paper.
Gordon: [finds out that Andrea has hid her burnt wellingtons and lamb underneath her station] Oh, shut up you, yeah? Shut up. What is this? (starts getting the meat)
Andrea: They burned. I'm not quite sure why.
Gordon: Watch. There you go, look. (to the members) Hey, come here! Oy, oy, oy! There you go, there you go, there--oh, dear. [throws a burnt wellington at the oven] (Bleep) pile of (bleep).
Andrea: (interview) I'm screwed. I'm (bleep) screwed.
Gordon: Anything else? What else have you hid?
Andrea: No, Chef. That's it, Chef.
Gordon: That's it, is it? Why'd you do it?
Andrea: Trying to get it together, Chef.
Gordon: I just don't--, I just don't understand it.

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with a dessert]

Jean-Philippe: Red, [Table] 53. Done yet, still
Gordon: Not done? (returns to the workstation) There you go. Now I've had enough. [slams the plate on the stove] Come here! There you go. (to Carol; gives her a piece of pear) Take a bite and pass it along. (to LA) LA, wake up, yeah?
Coi: It's hard as a (bleep) rock.
Gordon: Raw pastry, raw pear. That's her! (kicks a bin)
Andrea: (interview) Chef Ramsay wasn't kidding when he said it was raw. It was raw. That's just, "Sorry. Poor judgement."
Gordon: (to Colleen) You didn't know that's raw pastry with a raw pear?
Colleen: No, chef.
Andrea: (interview) Everybody else was just looking around like, "You've got to be kidding me."
Gordon: Un-(bleep)-believable! (goes to the blue kitchen and sits down at the corner)
Narrator: Tonight, dinner service has totally collapsed.
Gordon: Oh, (bleep)! Two and a half hours of (bleep).
Narrator: And Chef Ramsay is at the end of his road.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe; after taking the raw desserts back to the kitchen) Oh (bleep) off! I'm... I've had enough! (goes to the red kitchen) Hey, when I say, I've had enough! I've had enough! Stoves off! (calls both teams) Come here! That was pathetic! And you were absolutely useless! CLEAR DOWN! I can't take it anymore! It's been the worst performance so far! SWITCH IT (bleep) OFF!!! (throws his spoon away)
Gordon: There was no place in the kitchen I could put Colleen where she wasn't a disaster. It's time for her to go back to where she belongs, teaching. Because she certainly can't cook.

Episode Six [5.06]

Narrator: As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...
J: Off to the spa we go...
Narrator: ...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know that he'll be working with someone to plan the party.
Brenda: This gentleman is very recommended.
Jean-Philippe: Yes.
Brenda: So, um...
Francisco: Bonjour, darling!
Brenda: Oh, here he is now.
Narrator: ...Someone he knows all too well.
Francisco: Oh, it's so good to see you! (hugs J.P.) I'm so happy to be here. Are you thrilled to see me?
Brenda: Alright, well, see you tomorrow.
Francisco: Thank you.
Jean-Philippe: [to Francisco] Listen, you. You are not interfering with my job.
Francisco: I respect your boundaries.
Jean-Philippe: Alright, I'll do my thing, and then you do your little thing.
Francisco: "My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.
Jean-Philippe: Good.
Francisco: Oh, here they (the Red Team) come.
Jean-Philippe: Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.
Francisco: I'm so excited to be here, this is so fabulous! (the ladies laugh) Wait until you see what we're doing. We are going to go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's going to be so festive!
Coi: (interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.
Francisco: We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...
Andrea: (laughing) Twinkly!
Coi: (interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.
Francisco: We are going to make this the most beautiful sports arena!
LA: (interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

Episode Seven [5.07]

Giovanni: How long for the risotto and pasta?
Paula: Plating up the pasta right now.
Andrea: How's your risotto?
Carol: I'm going. I'm going.
Gordon: Where's the risotto?
Carol: Right here chef.
Gordon: Carol!
Carol: Yes, chef!
Gordon: (tastes the risotto then spits it out) Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.
Carol: Right here.
Gordon: Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?
[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pot]
Andrea: The blue team.
Gordon: The blue team!? What? (goes over to the blue kitchen) Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?
J: I did, chef.
Gordon: Look at it, J! How can you do that, J!? (hurls the rice in the trash) J! For both teams!?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Ohh, (bleep) how! Oh, come on! You can't do this!
Lacey: (interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.
Gordon: It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, (bleep) me! Oh, come on, (bleep) off J!
J: I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I definitely didn't need that, because, you know, Chef Ramsay's been riding me hard the past couple of days.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!
Robert: (interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you (bleep) suck, man.
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]
Jean-Philippe: Pasta undercooked, chef.
Gordon: Is it?
Jean-Philippe: Yeah, it's really undercooked, chef.
Gordon: (to Carol) Hey, you, madam. The pasta's raw! Who's running the appetizers?
Carol: I am, chef!
Gordon: Well, then run it, then! Does she (Andrea) wipe your arse?
Carol: No, chef. (interview) I get (bleep) yelled at because this stupid bitch can't (bleep) cook?! What the hell is up with that?! (to Ramsay) There's must be some mix-in 'cause it's...
Gordon: What?! Why aren't you tasting?
Carol: I was tasting it chef.
Gordon: So you tasted it and you knew it's raw, yet you still sent it!
Carol: (interview) That stupid bitch doesn't (bleep) say anything when Chef Ramsay's yelling at me, (Bleep) THIS (bleep)!
Gordon: Madam, come here you mouthy little bitch! You (Andrea) come here!
Andrea: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Hey, give me that table out there! (to Carol and Andrea) And sit on that table and eat that! Both of you, (bleep) off out there! It's not undercooked, it's raw! RAW, Carol! (gets ticket from Jean-Philippe)
Andrea: (to Carol) Let's eat it. Yeah, let's get this (bleep) over with.
Gordon: (to Carol and Andrea) Hey, you're not coming back to this clear until you let me know how it tastes!
Narrator: While Carol and Andrea chew on their mistakes, in the blue kitchen, J is hoping to redeem himself.
Gordon: (with a piece of undercooked salmon) J! Come on, then! Look, it's still stone-cold. Back in the oven! (Bleep) hell...
Ben: J, I know you're busy buddy, but how long on the salmon, my man?
J: Five minutes.
Robert: Give me the tuna!
Ben: He said four minutes out. Can you make it four?
Gordon: Everything you've touched tonight, so far, has been screwed.
Robert: (interview) J just lost his (bleep), man. He was just clamming up, didn't take control. He was burning the seafood, he was sending raw seafood.
Gordon: That's called burnt salmon, not seared salmon!
Robert: (interview) It takes a real good chef to recover. (to J) You can really turn this around if you want to.
J: I know.
Robert: Wipe your face, wipe your face. [J wipes his face with his sleeve] With a rag!
Gordon: J, where's the salmon?
J: Coming around. Right here chef.
Gordon: (finds out that the salmon is overdone) Hey, bozo, SAUCE!! Come here you. Put it down, come here you. Come here you! Get in there! Get in!
[leads J into the pantry and slams the door]
J: (Bleep)!
Gordon: WHAT THE (bleep) ARE YOU DOING?!
J: I'm here chef.
Gordon: It's not good enough J!
J: I know chef. I got no (bleep) excuse.
Gordon: WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!
J: I don't know. I'll (bleep) turn it on right now chef.
Gordon: I can't (bleep) go any further! Please, wake up!
J: Yes, chef!
Gordon: I've got sauce on one, and two Dory here. Sauce on one and two Dory here, LA!
[LA is standing still and staring into space]
Paula: (interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.
Gordon: Come on, LA!
Gloria: Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping?!
LA: No, I'm...
Gordon: She's dreaming. Come on! More sauce, you silly cow!
LA: (interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.
Gordon: Don't cook all the (bleep) Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?
LA: Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cos if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the head.
Gordon: How long for the beef, please?
LA: 30 seconds chef.
Narrator: As LA tries to get up to speed, over in the blue kitchen...
Gordon: J! Where's the other scallop?
J: Right here, chef.
[J brings the scallops to the pass; they're badly overcooked]
Gordon: Have you seen this (bleep)?
Scott: Disastrous, isn't it?
Gordon: I have had enough. (calls the blue team) Come here, you! Leave it, PUT THAT DOWN! You, come here! You come here!
Ben: Yes, chef.

[the team members gather around the pass]

Gordon: What is that? What IS that? What is that? That's us at our best? What is it?! Wait, it gets better! Look, touch that!
Ben: It's rubber, chef.
Gordon: T-Oh, my god! Unbelievable! [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Gordon knocks his hand away] No! No, no, no, no, NO! GET OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT!! Out, GET OUT! Take your jacket off, and (bleep) off!
J: (interview) I guess I don't belong here, so I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. (in the dorms) Oh...that's (bleep) up bro. (interview)My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion anymore, I've got it. (entering the taxicab) Tomorrow's another day! Let's do it. (interview) It's time for J. Maxwell to do his own thing.
Gordon: Where are the Wellingtons?
Ben Walanka: Five and a half minutes, chef.
Gordon: I'm watching you like a (bleep) hawk. You know why? Do you know why?
Ben Walanka: No, I don't chef.
Gordon: I want you out. You're not cutting it. You're dreaming.
Ben Walanka: (interview) It hurts. It hurts when someone goes at you like that.
Gordon: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Put that down. [finds that Ben has put fresh Wellingtons in a tray filled with burnt bits of pastry] Oh, my god! Look! Look!
Danny: (interview) Ben was struggling, just getting beat up by chef. Ben's just like J, in dinner service he just falls apart.
Gordon: Come here you! Get in there, get in! [Gordon leads Ben into the pantry] What's your (bleep) game?
Ben Walanka: No game chef.
Gordon: Tell me something straight. What are you doing?
Ben Walanka: Chef, I'm doing everything I can...
Gordon: Why are you putting them on a dirty tray?
Ben Walanka: Chef, only because I was doing Wellingtons on them before, and I could not find...
Gordon: And that's good enough for you?
Ben Walanka: No, it's not, chef.
Gordon: Is it (bleep)?
Ben Walanka: No, chef. I don't want to do it again...
Gordon: YOU DIRTY PIG! CLEAN THE (bleep) TRAY!!
Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.
Gordon: One more, and you're (bleep) history. GET IN!
Ben Walanka: (interview) Today, it took everything I had not to go up in my little coccoon. I just had to push forward.
Gordon: DIRTY PIG!!
Robert: (to Lacey) I swear to God if you win this I will hang up my coat and become a crack whore!

Episode Eight [5.08]

Robert: C'mon, guys! Let's (bleep) do it!
Ben: Yeah, move!
[Robert bends over and a ripping sound is heard. As Ben and Lacey look on in shock, we see that Robert has split open the seat of his trousers. He carries on, unconcerned]
Robert: Come on guys keep pushing. (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"
Scott: Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.
Robert: (interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a (bleep).
Gordon: Damn!

[Lacey's meat pan catches fire. Gordon approaches her station]

Gordon: Leave it! (Bleep) hell, what is that?!
Lacey: Wha-I...
Gordon: What is that, I said! Look at it! It's on fire!
Danny: Is this your well-done?
Lacey: (tearfully) I don't know.
Ben Walanka: (interview) She was lost. [mocks Lacey] "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HUHU!!"
Gordon: What's the matter with you?!
Lacey: I can't cook meat, chef!
Gordon: What do you mean you can't cook meat?!
Lacey: Obviously I'm way too confused...
Gordon: Hey madam, get out! Get out!!
Robert: (interview) Can't handle the heat, get out the kitchen!!
Gordon: [follows Lacey to the pantry] I can't cook meat?!
Lacey: I'm sorry. I just got really confused.
Gordon: If you got confused, why didn't you say something?
Lacey: I did and Robert put the chicken and the chicken went on fire and!...
Gordon: Why can't you just make the effort?
Lacey: I'm trying to make an effort.
Gordon: Do you want to come back in there and make an effort?
Lacey: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Then wake up and get a grip!! Come on!
[Gordon escorted Lacey out of the pantry]
[Lacey has just served some badly carved lamb]
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Lacey: Hmm... (Bleep) me!
Gordon: Come here, all of you! What is that? (Bleep) bone's thicker than the meat! WHAT IS THAT?!
Lacey: I don't know, chef!
Gordon: (hurls the lamb in the bin) It's not good enough! GET OUT! YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! PISS OFF!
[Lacey walks into the storage cupboard; Chef Ramsay follows her]
Gordon: Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!
Lacey: I agree.
Gordon: Give me your jacket, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.
Lacey: [to the blue team] Thank you for everything!
[Danny quickly waves to Lacey and then resumes cooking; Ben and Robert ignore her altogether]
Robert: (interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, biatoch.
Gordon: Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.
Lacey: (interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. (Packing her suitcase) At least now, I know I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I (bleep) up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.

Episode Nine [5.09]

Gordon: Oh Ben
Ben:Chef!?
Gordon: Right all three of you come here! Here we go! (taps spoons on the desk) Taste time quick quick dig in yeah quick dig in there (Danny, Ben & Robert taste a salty soup via spoons) make sure to big a nice big mouthful, big mouthful.(Ramsay proceeds to spit the soup out & Robert does the same)
Robert: (interview): I spit it right out, it was disgusting.
Gordon: Hey salty soup!
Ben: Yes, yes Chef.
Gordon: You're just reheating it! So how could you (bleep) it?!
Gordon: (checking Carol's potatoes) Oh dear. Excuse me! All of you come here, come down! Hurry up! Taste them. There, there's a nice big slice for you. Aw, (bleep) it!
Carol: Hard and raw chef.
Gordon: (Bleep) hell! Why are the potatoes crunchy? Who cooked them then?
Carol: I did chef. If they go in the oven when the order comes in, they should be fully cooked. (interview) I don't know why they didn't cook. I never cooked potatoes that long before I sliced that thin.
Gordon: (To Jean-Philippe) Hey, come in here you! Have I got news for you. Tell him then, tell him! HE'S GOING TO GO AND EXPLAIN TO THE CUSTOMERS!!
Jean-Philippe: What's happening?
Carol: The potatoes are undercooked. If the go in when the order comes in, they should be fine.
Jean-Philippe: What's undercooked?
Gordon: Say that again?
Carol: If she (Andrea) fires it when the order comes in, when it's ready to go,
Gordon: AU-GRATIN DAUPHINOIS NEED TO BE COOKED BEFORE SERVICE!
Carol: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Now you're blaming her.
Carol: I'm not blaming her chef.
Gordon: Hey, Andrea, she's trying to sabotage. She can't even turn--
Carol: I'm not.
Gordon: What?
Carol: I'm not sabotaging.
Andrea: (interview) I was embarrassed for Carol. She's pointing out other people's mistakes. Point me out! I dare you!
Gordon: Here's the next question, how long then til they cook?
Carol: Maybe ten minutes.
Gordon: Oh, look how cool she is!
Carol: (interview) They should've been done. Why didn't they cook?
Gordon: (to the customers) MAYBE TEN MINUTES EVERYBODY FOR YOUR AU-GRATIN DAUPHINOIS!! Look at them. The poor souls! Are you stupid?
Carol: No I'm not chef.
Gordon: (Bleep)!
Andrea: (interview) Those potatoes! I was embarrassed for Carol.
Gordon: Why didn't they cook to begin with?
Carol: Chef, I cooked them in the cream for an hour.
Gordon: WHAT?!
Carol: Yes.
Gordon: You cooked them in the cream for an hour?
Carol: In boiling cream for an hour.
Gordon: Crunchy gratin dauphinois. Useless.
Gordon: One beef salad, entrees: One bass one New York steak.
[a woman comes up to the hotplate to reorder food]
Lady: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Yes, madam?
Lady: Totally flat. No flavor on the carpaccio. This the second time I've had to reorder.
Gordon: Okay, thank you. (to the blue team) Hey, get the beef along please, yes? Let's go.
Lady: Chef! (whistles to Gordon)
Gordon: (to the woman) Don't whistle at me, I'm not your (bleep) dog, yeah? You look more like a dog than I do. Now (Bleep) off, will you?

[Carol pours more cream over her potatoes]

Gordon: What is that on there?
Carol: I just poured more cream on it and I'm going to put it back in.
Gordon: Oh, my God!, Oh (Bleep)! [picks up the potatoes dumps them in the bin] Are you mad?
Carol: No, chef.
Andrea: There were no saving those potatoes. None whatsoever. They just looked like (bleep). They looked like (bleep, bleep)! It was awful.
Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to a (bleep) pig farm, madam. Forget it. You don't care do you? Because if you did care, you wouldn't serve me that crap! This is supposed to be your exciting menu! Really?

Episode Ten [5.10]

Gordon: On order, six covers table 20. Entrées: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one Dory. Wellington's medium, yes?
Final 6: Yes, chef!
Gordon: (to Andrea) Right Andrea, what's going? [gets no answer] No answer. I'm not in the best mood, yeah? I don't like being ignored in my own (bleep) kitchen. What's going?
Andrea: I have no idea, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God almighty.
Robert: (interview) On garnish, you've got to be thirty seconds before everybody else. If she's not checking the tickets for us, we're screwed.
Gordon: Come here you. Story of your (bleep) life. Yeah, you have no idea.
Andrea: Yes, chef. I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: Hey, she's running the section, yet she has no idea of what's going. (to Giovanni) Tell her, chef.
Giovanni: Two wellingtons one medium, one medium-rare and lamb medium? I'm sorry, lamb medium-rare. Two lamb medium-rare.
Gordon: Oh, my God.
Robert and Ben Walanka: Two chicken.
Paula: Two chicken and a Dory.
Giovanni: Two chicken and a lamb.
Gordon: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one (bleep) Dory.
Final 6: Yes, chef!
Gordon: One wellington's medium and the rest is (bleep) NORMAL!! Unlike us! (to Andrea) What's going, madam?
Andrea: I have no idea, chef.
Gordon: You have no idea. Hey, come here you. Now, (bleep) off! Hey madam, through that door (points to the front entrance) there! (Bleep) off!!
Gordon: Dory, salmon, lamb, wellington!
Robert: Two minutes, chef!

[Gordon noticed Robert putting the bacon into the John Dory]

Gordon: Robert, just come here!
Robert: Oh, (bleep)!
Gordon: Why did you put the bacon inside the Dory?
Robert: To crisp it up, chef. Real quickly.
Gordon: What's the bacon with?
Robert: For the scallops.
Gordon: So why are you putting it with the Dory? Suppose they're allergic to bacon! You can send somebody to the hospital on the back of that!
Robert: Oh, you're right.
Gordon: Oh, come on! "You're right"? Of course, I'm (bleep) right! (kicks a bin) Get the bacon out!
Robert: (interview) Yeah, I (bleep) up and you know what? I know in my heart, I got it. I'm a bull.
Gordon: Come on, Mr. Bacon Man!
Narrator: While Robert tries again on the John Dory, Chef Ramsay is counting on Giovanni on the meat station to get out the first entree of the night.

[Gordon checks on chicken special at the pass]

Gordon: (with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?
Scott: Giovanni's best.
Gordon: Hey, Ben.
Ben Walanka: Chef?
Gordon: Is that like a chewed up bit of chicken from the dog? (gives the chicken to Ben) Here, that's your special. Have a word with him, yeah? He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you want with it. Your special has now become not very special, thanks to (bleep)-face there. Hurry up, Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yeah, but I'm not a (bleep)-face chef!
Gordon: Yeah. Say that again?
Giovanni: I'm not a (bleep)-face, chef!
Gordon: You're pissed, aren't you? You're (bleep)--! Look at me! LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES!! NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!!! YOU (bleep) ARE!! DONKEY!!
Giovanni: No.
Ben: (interview) Whooo! Boy, oh, boy!
Gordon: Because right now, I don't give a (bleep)! (bleep)-face!
Giovanni: (interview) I'm an emotional person. He can get in my face all he wants to. He will not break me.
Gordon: You're sending me (bleep) and trying to get away with it! Now I'm ready for an argument! Sending me that, you should be ashamed!
Robert: (interview) He just wants you to pop off.
Gordon: And you want to get all sensitive? You want to get all (bleep) dirty! Look at me, you send me (bleep) like that, take your jacket and (bleep) off!
Giovanni: Yes, chef.
Gordon: I'm not sending that (bleep), chef!
Giovanni: Yes, chef. Sorry, chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and he said something to me.
Gordon: That's the well done one and look at me, I think you're too (bleep) to get upset with me. It's not the (bleep) way I call it. This isn't personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of (bleep). Now pull it back!!
Giovanni: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (Bleep)-face!
Gordon: Giovanni, Robert! Come here! And you, Andrea. Come here you! [gathers them at the corner] All three of you are pathetic! You (Giovanni) don't care, you're (Robert) way behind and you (Andrea) haven't got a (bleep) clue! Can we work together as a team?!
Giovanni, Robert and Andrea: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Two wellington. One well-done! Get it ON!!!
Danny: (interview) One station failed and another station failed. It's no joke.
Scott: [cuts to Andrea's station where one pan catches fire] Pan's on fire! Pan's on fire!
Gordon: We're going up in flames. [pick Andrea's pan]
Paula: (interview) First night with the Black team, one big cluster (bleep).
Gordon: Same (bleep), different day! (throws the pan into the sink)
Scott: [cuts to Ben's station where his pan also catches fire] What about the rest of the table. We need cover-up.
Gordon: Dynamic six, yeah. My (bleep) arse. (Bleep) off the lot of you! [walks out of the kitchen and throws his towel away]
Gordon: [calls the five chefs back in the kitchen after Giovanni's elimination.] I just spent the last hour upstairs in my office thinking. It just doesn't make sense! How can the final six be so (bleep)? I called you all down here because on the back of that performance, I'm now going to do something I have never ever done before. I'm shutting down Hell's Kitchen.

Episode Eleven [5.11]

Narrator: After a couple of days without any word on how Robert is doing, Chef Ramsay calls the chefs down for a meeting.
Gordon: So you're feeling fresh, very relaxed. Did you enjoy the whole atmosphere at the Borgata Resort?
Danny: Very much so.
Ben: Incredible, Chef.
Gordon: Sadly, you came back minus one individual. Clearly, you're all deeply concerned. I'm not going to tell you how he's doing, I'm going to let him tell you himself. Chef Robert.
[Robert appears and everybody smiles and applauds happily]
Gordon: Okay, big boy. Let me just say how pleased I am to see you.
Robert: Thank you.
Gordon: How are you feeling?
Robert: Not good.
Gordon: Ah?
Robert: Not good. [Ben stops smiling]
Gordon: What did the medics say?
Robert: I have pericarditis, which is the swelling of the sac around the heart which leads to heart disease.[Gordon shakes his head and Andrea and Paula fight back tears]
Gordon: Oh dear. Are you coming back?
Robert: No.[Danny's face falls]
Gordon: No?
Robert: I'm not coming back.

[Ben has been struggling on the garnish station]

Gordon: What's going, Ben? (gets no response) Oh, my God almighty! Oh, come on. Three Dory, two salmon, one chicken. (sees what Ben is doing) Why is he putting the lettuce there like that? He's trying to saute it.
Scott: I don't know, chef.
Gordon: Look at the mess in him.
Scott: He throws everything in a pan.
Ben Walanka: (interview) I was just absolutely... just mind-boggled.
Gordon: [picks up a pan and a piece of lettuce] You've got a pan here like that and you're throwing lettuce on top like that, you're (bleep)!! You are so (bleep), you don't realize what you're doing!
Danny: (interview) Oh, man Ben! Like, come on. You know better than that.
Gordon: Hey, come here a minute. Why are you doing this? You just had the lettuce on top of cucumbers. Do we not saute the lettuce?
Ben Walanka: Chef, I was in the side pan sauteing the tomatoes and the cucumbers, chef. But, I did it wrong, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, you're (bleep) up, you're cutting corners and you're slipping big time! You know what, do you know your biggest problem? When there's always a down in your career, you're full of (bleep, bleep)! Every time you (bleep) done something wrong, you give a (bleep, bleep) excuse! But right now, I'm fed up with your (bleep) excuses!
Ben Walanka: (interview) There's really nothing I can do to please Chef Ramsay, but I'm slowly but surely being able to accept them.
Gordon: (Bleep) OFF!!
Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You're too dangerous to have on service. I asked you what you're doing, you said you're sautéing tomatoes ARE YOU (Bleep)?!! YOU DIRTY PIG! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! Un-(bleep)-believable!!
[Ben returns to the kitchen after a quick break]
Gordon: Yeah, right. Hey, you! Come here you! What's going through your mind now? You still going to (bleep) butcher me and slice me and serve (bleep) to them?
Ben Walanka: No, chef!
Gordon: Where's your fight, man?
Ben Walanka: It's here, chef!
Gordon: Where is it?!
Ben Walanka: I got it, chef!
Gordon: Then wake up you donut!!
Ben Walanka: YES, CHEF!!
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