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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [3.01]

[Signature Dishes]

Gordon: And whose dish is that?

Vinnie: It's mine chef.

Gordon: What is the dish?

Vinnie: It is chorizo encrusted pink snapper.

Gordon: Where in the (bleep)'s the snapper?

Vinnie: It's underneath.

Gordon: That's the snapper there?

Vinnie: Yes sir.

Gordon: Okay. (tastes) God, (bleep). Do you think you can really seriously eat that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

Vinnie: I don't think so.

Gordon: Now you want to (bleep) argue. Back in line.

Vinnie: Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said "This guy's really confident." and I think I intimidated him.

Gordon: What a (bleep) jerk.

Gordon: Whose is this?

Josh Wahler: (interview) Food is sex and everybody likes sex and everybody likes food. I want to make people feel like they just had great sex.

Gordon: Unfortunately it's raw. Raw foie gras. Take that. (gives a piece to Josh and they both taste)

Josh Wahler: (interview) That foie gras was (bleep)damn perfect.

Gordon: That is way way way too salty my man.

Josh Wahler: (interview) Ok, I'll give him, it was a little salty.

Narrator: Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now it's down to the final chef.

Gordon: Oh (bleep) me. Whose is this?

Aaron Song: (Dressed up as a cowboy) It's me chef.

Gordon: And where's your horse?

Aaron Song: I left him parked outside chef.

Gordon: I've never met an Asian cowboy.

Aaron Song: (interview) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

Gordon: You are one chunky monkey aren't you?

Aaron Song: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What is it?

Aaron Song: It's finger food chef so,

Gordon: How big are your (bleep) fingers?

Aaron Song: I have big hands.

Gordon: (tastes part of the dish) This is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

Aaron Song: (interview) My plate was full but, heck I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

Narrator: With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Gordon: Aaron, how are you feeling?

Aaron Song: Sorry. (starts to cry.) I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Gordon: Keep it together! For god sakes man!

Aaron Song: I don't know what's going on... (continues to cry)

Gordon: Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

Jean-Philippe: (outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Gordon: Stop (bleep) crying! Stop! STOP!! Do you want to go and lie in the dorm?

Aaron Song: No sir. I'm fine. I'm fine chef. I apologize.

Gordon: You can do it.

Aaron Song: Yes sir.

Gordon: Good man.

Gordon: [On Tiffany's quail eggs] Who cooked these quail eggs?

Tiffany: I did chef.

Gordon: Touch that there. It's like a plastic silicon implant. (Bleep) bin them. Get rid of them.

Gordon: (to Vinnie) Hey, just come here you, you're putting water in the risotto.

Vinnie: Chef, I put water in the risotto. We don't have any more stock.

Gordon: Oh, for (bleep)'s sake...

Vinnie: (interview) Well, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

Gordon: (tastes) It tastes like gnat's piss. (coughs) Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Hey, Brad! Get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

Scott Leibfried: We don't have any (bleep) chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any (bleep) lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?!

Narrator: While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

Aaron Song: [washing his face with water] Oh, (bleep).

Brad: (interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Aaron Song: Oh, (bleep).

Brad: (interview) Get better at cooking.

Aaron Song: I'm kinda dizzy right now. I'll be back in five gentlemen

Brad: (interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

[Aaron walks into a store room and takes off his jacket. Gordon follows him in there.]

Gordon: You've gone white.

Aaron Song: [whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Gordon: Hey.

Aaron Song: But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Gordon: Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

Narrator: With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Josh Wahler: Two minutes in, Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Eddie Langley: Yes.

Josh Wahler: Okay, two minutes!

Brad: Come on guys, no bickering, lets do it!

Josh Wahler: (interview) I was born for this.

Josh Wahler: Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself, walked into the deepest pile of the (bleep).

Gordon: Josh!

Josh Wahler: Yes chef?

Gordon: How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

Josh Wahler: One, two, three, four and that's all the chicken that we have chef.

Gordon: So we've got no chicken anywhere?

Josh Wahler: We have no chicken chef.

[the customers have begun walking out]

Gordon: (to the red team) Your tables are now getting up, pissed off and leaving! NOTHING'S GETTING DONE.

[cuts to the blue kitchen where Eddie's pan catches fire]

Brad: Eddie, take those out. They're going to taste like (bleep).

Joanna: People (bleep) me up right now.

Gordon: Maryann, are they arguing again?

Maryann: Yes, chef, they are.

Gordon: (to the blue team) Just stop! (calls out the red team) Come here. Shut it down, forget it. The service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

Gordon: You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches.

Gordon: Vinnie, sixty minutes without any appetizers. What have you got to say?

Vinnie: I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

Gordon: You two faced lazy little (bleep)!

Vinnie: Lazy?

Rock: (interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up! Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

Gordon: What do you want me to do? Wipe your arse?

Episode Two [3.02]

Aaron Song: (to the customers) My name's Aaron. I'm a chef. I'm one of your chefs tonight. And welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Customers: Thank you.

Gordon: (to Jean Philippe) What in the (bleep) is Aaron doing in the dining room?

Aaron Song: My name's Aaron and I'm a chef in Hell's Kitchen. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen.

Jean Philippe: He's talking to customers.

Gordon: He's talking to customers.

Aaron Song: My name's Aaron. Well you already know my name because it's on my shirt!

Gordon: Get that (bleep) donkey out of there!

Narrator: 45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Gordon: Spaghetti, scallops how long?

Bonnie: 3 minutes, chef.

Gordon: (sees what Bonnie is doing) What are you doing? What are you doing?

Bonnie: I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

Gordon: See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

Bonnie: I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Gordon: Are you a dumb blonde?!

[Gordon checks on Dover soles brought up by Vinnie]

Gordon: Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef?

Gordon: I thought by this stage you'd tell me the truth. I'm telling you, one nicely cooked there, yeah? And one that is cooked to (bleep).

Vinnie: Yes, chef.

[Gordon tastes the risotto brought up by Eddie]

Gordon: Eddie! Oh, no. Oh, no! (comes back to the workstation) ALL OF YOU! Taste it! It's inedible! It's way too peppery and you wouldn't even serve it to a (bleep) PIG! (to Eddie) Get off the section! Get off!

Eddie Langley: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Taste that. It's overcooked and peppery, Brad! (Bleep) wake up will you please, yes? That's the second one by two different cooks. One (bleep) risotto as quick as possible please, yes?

Brad: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Josh, what are you doing there? What are you doing there with that chicken? Is that dry?

Josh Wahler: No, chef.

Gordon: It looks dry from here. Just touch that, that's the skin my man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (Gordon smashes the chicken from the plate)

Josh Wahler: (interview) Did that honestly just happen? What just happened?!

Gordon: That's it, (bleep). (throws a chicken on a floor) That's dry.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You, you, you! Hey, you, you! Come here! Hey, you! (Bleep) come here you! (Calling out Aaron) Where's that (bleep) cowboy? Aaron! (Aaron goes inside the kitchen) Now you've (Josh) got dry chicken, you (bleep) donkey! You (Eddie) can't even do a (bleep) risotto, you know that. You (Aaron) can't even filet a (bleep) fish! You, you, you, you, you, you, (Bleep) off out of here. Get out! GET OUT!! (brief pause) The (bleep) girls will finish the meal service. Get out!!

Gordon: Aaron, you're in the dining room like the President of the United States of America shaking hands with people. What the (bleep) was that all about?

Aaron Song: I apologize, chef. Obviously, I didn't do that great of a job.

Episode Three [3.03]

Bonnie: (interview) (when troops wake up the chefs) I'm in the shower with conditioner in my hair. I was like run through the house half naked and I look like a drowned rat and I'm not happy.

[Horns continued]

Vinnie: (interview) It's was very disheartening to not to be able to serve the people that serve us. (Uses his hand to disguise a trombone) REMEDY! REMEDY!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Bonnie]

Gordon: Who's coo?... Who?...

Bonnie: I did the scallops, chef. What's wrong?

Gordon: What's wrong?

Bonnie: Are they raw?

Gordon: Oh, come on! (Bleep) hell! You just asked me are they raw. Why don't you tell me what the (bleep) they are?

Bonnie: They're raw, chef.

Gordon: (angrily throws a scallop in the bin) (Bleep) off!

Gordon: (smelling the crab) Hey, missy (Joanna), is that crab high to you? Anyone else smell that? Where's the crab? Maryann smell that. (Sees Joanna trying to leave) Hey, you, don't you (bleep) dare! Come here you!

Maryann: (smelling the crab) Oh god.

Gordon: Can you not smell that? The crab is off. It's (bleep) rancid! How can you do that?

Joanna: I did not smell the crab chef.

Bonnie: (interview) I can't believe Joanna had been using that. It just made you sit up and go "Whoa!"

Gordon: Have you sent one out already?

Joanna: No, chef.

Gordon: Thank god for that! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE!! (throws the crab in the bin) Hey, get off! Get off! Julia, take over.

Julia: Yes, chef.

Jean Philippe: Should I recommend something else?

Gordon: Oh, you (bleep) recommend. Yeah, recommend a new restaurant.

[Rock delivers his scallops to the pass with eggs cooked by Vinnie]

Gordon: Hey, hello! Come here, donkeys! Here we go. We started. Come here! What is that?

Brad: It's a raw egg.

Gordon: What is that? (shows the egg to Josh) Wha-what is that? What is that? (rubs the raw egg in Vinnie's whites) (Bleep) off, will you? (Bleep) off! Okay?

Rock: (interview) He slammed that (bleep) right in Vinnie's...chest and Vinnie tensed up and he was about to bust and all I could think was, "Oh, my God. Do not lose your head."

Gordon: (Bleep) off! Hey, why did you let it go when you know it's not (bleep) ready?

Vinnie: I screwed up again chef.

Gordon: Hey, look at me now. You've now just confirmed to my mind, you're not trustworthy. So (bleep) you!

Vinnie: (interview) It's tough to bite your tongue. I just figured take it, it's the only way to win and you'll be alright.

Gordon: Start the (bleep) table again.

Jen Yemola: Julia, what you got in here is enough for two orders.

Julia: Okay.

Jen Yemola: I'm going to toss all this (spaghetti) out. (Dumps it in the garbage.)

Gordon: Away next, scallop, risotto, spaghetti yes?

Julia: Ladies, spaghetti!

Jen Yemola: You need more spaghetti Julia? Oh, I (bleep) just tossed it! Let me just get it. I'll get it. I'll get it. (interview) We had an order for spaghetti and I threw out what we had and I just decided to retrieve the spaghetti from the top of the garbage and washed it. 212 (degrees) kills the bacteria and I decided to serve it.

Julia: Where did you get it from?

Jen Yemola: The garbage on top.

Gordon: (very, very faintly; presumably in the Blue kitchen) Vinnie!

Julia: Oh no, no, no. No way. (interview) Who in the world picks food out of the trash? You can't just do anything in the heat of the moment.

Gordon: (entering the Red kitchen, oblivious to what Jen did) How long Julia?

Julia: Six minutes chef.

Gordon: Oh dear.

Narrator: Meanwhile in the blue kitchen, the pressure is on Josh and Brad to get out some entrées.

Gordon: Let's do two wellingtons, one turbot. Lets go.

Brad: Josh, did you hear that? I'm going on two wellingtons. Can you, I need you guys to go.

Josh Wahler: That's not a problem. How long on the wellingtons?

Brad: I can go right now.

Josh Wahler: No, I can't.

Brad: You can't? I need to pull this out then.

Gordon: Hey, JOSH!!

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (Bleep) little bastard. Hey, are you just trying to sabotage them?

Josh Wahler: No way, chef.

Gordon: So that it makes you look good?

Josh Wahler: No way, chef.

Gordon: Who's the first person you should be telling?

Josh Wahler: I should talk to him (Brad), chef. I should talk to meat station. It was my fault, chef. (defensively) No sabotage. (interview) I wasn't trying to sabotage. Are you crazy?

Gordon: You deserve a kick in the (bleep).

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, start the (bleep) table again.

[Gordon notices Brad scraping off the bottom of a burnt wellington]

Josh Wahler: Brad, two minutes.

Brad: Yes, no go in two minutes 45 seconds.

Gordon: Hold on, there's someone being dishonest. Lift the bottom of the wellington over. (Brad does so) Oh come on. You give me them anemic bits of (bleep), I'll (bleep) throw them up your arse sideways. (kicks a bin) Where's your (bleep) brain? I just cannot believe this! Can we have the two main courses TOGETHER?!!! (kicks the bins) (Bleep)!!! Ohhhhhhhh.

[Gordon goes to the red kitchen for wellingtons]

Gordon: Where's the wellington? How long?

Jen Yemola: (comes up to Gordon) My wellingtons are going to be overdone.

Gordon: OH, FOR (bleep) SAKE! OH, COME ON!! SEVENTEEN ON ORDER, AND YOU'VE GOT THREE TO SEND! WE'RE FOURTEEN SHORT!!

[the customers have begun walking out. Jean-Philippe returns to the pass]

Jean-Philippe: Chef, they are all walking out. To the left and 12, 14, from both sides, chef.

Gordon: (to the red team) Stop! (calls the blue team) Come here! Hey, hello, chef (Josh), sabotage! Your tables are now getting up and leaving! (Bleep) off, will you, yeah?! [gets the tickets from the pass, crumples them and throws them away] Get out! GET OUT!!!

Episode Four [3.04]

During the taste test:

Gordon: Ready? Brad, you sack of (bleep).

Later...

Gordon: Come on, what is that? Hello?

Brad: Papaya?

Gordon: (Bleep) carrot, you doughnut.

After the men's team loses and is forced to eat various organ meats:

Gordon:: Your palates are (bleep), so taste everything on this platter.

Gordon: You, Melissa? You're running the appetizers, yes?

Melissa Firpo: Yes.

Gordon: You're running ahead, and no one is with you. You're not a team player. Right now, I need some team (bleep) spirit!

Red team: Yes, chef!

Gordon: I might kick you out and I'll do the (bleep) section myself!

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef!

Gordon: I know what your game is. You just want to get all the appetizers out.

Melissa Firpo: No chef, I swear to god that's not true.

Gordon: Look good, (uses one of the tickets to pretend to put makeup on) Oh, (bleep) me. (pretends to adjust his boobs) Oh, (bleep) me! (throws the ticket away) (Bleep) off! Piss off! You (bleep) bimbo!

Gordon: We're waiting on you Bonnie! Is that chicken just sliced in half and put back in the pan?

Bonnie: (points at chicken on the cutting board) This chef?

Gordon: Oh no, Bonnie not that, you (bleep) idiot. You stupid cat. You know what? Every time I've asked you a sensible question, you've given me a dumb blonde answer.

Bonnie: Sorry chef.

Gordon: Right, let's go back to the beginning shall we?

Bonnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Did you just slice the chicken in half and stuck it back in the oven?

Bonnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Is it dry?

Bonnie: It doesn't feel dry but I'll start over.

Gordon: It's (bleep) lost its texture. Right now, you all are screwing your (bleep) selves. Is the chicken in for the langoustine?

Bonnie: (points to the same chicken) Yes, chef. Right here.

Gordon: (Bleep) me. No that's the main course one.

Bonnie: It's right here.

Gordon: Listen, Hey, listen, it's not in.

Bonnie: It's not in but I'm putting it in now.

Gordon: Right so--- here we go again. When are you going to (bleep) shut up? I'VE HAD ENOUGH NOW! Stop lying to me! You're saying yes all the (bleep) time YET NOTHING'S DONE!!! WORK TOGETHER!!

Red team: Yes, chef!

[A tall lady comes to the hotplate demanding for food]

Gordon: Jean-Philippe, what table is the lady from, please? So we can find out where food is, please?

Jean-Philippe: 23 chef.

Gordon: 23, blue, yes?

Jean-Philippe: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Take the giraffe back to her table please. Service please, let's go.

Lady: Excuse me?! I'm asking for service and he's being rude.

Gordon: Let's go. (to the tall lady) (Bleep) off, will you? Move your (bleep) arse, will you?

[Gordon checks on wellingtons brought up by Vinnie]

Gordon: What did he do to them?

Scott Leibfried: He was flashing them in the oven after they were cooked.

Gordon: (comes back to the workstation) Okay guys. Just stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!!! Blue donkeys, come here! Touch that, touch that. IT'S RARE!! You (Vinnie), look at me. You don't care anymore, you know that?

Gordon: (Checking the wellingtons) Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Vinnie, come on chef. Look, raw pastry's trimmed off the bottom. That's the (bleep) you don't send to the customers. It's still left on. Tell him to trim them please?

Rock: Trim them real quick.

Gordon: Chef Vinnie!

Vinnie: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Look at me. Can you trim it properly?

Vinnie: Yes, chef.

Gordon: And bring it to the hotplate and cut the pastry with a straighted knife. Donkey! Is it every other one is right? Or is it one in three is right?

Vinnie: No, chef. This one's perfect.

Gordon: This one's perfect. What have you overcooked? How much have you binned?

Vinnie: I (bleep) a lot up but I'm on it now.

Gordon: (seeing Vinnie's wasted meat.) Oh no!

Vinnie: (interview) I kept my own private garbage bin on my station and I think I had six wellington orders and one chicken in my bin.

Gordon: Hey, a restaurant wouldn't even open with that. You'd close it before you got anywhere.

[Gordon slams the tray with wasted wellingtons on Vinnie's station]

Vinnie: (interview) It was a mistake. It's an expensive mistake.

Gordon: OH, (bleep) ME SENSELESS!!

[Gordon asks for Josh to taste undercooked pasta]

Gordon: Blue, yes?

Jean Philippe: Oui, chef.

Gordon: Where's (bleep) pretty-boy sushi man, where is he?

Josh Wahler: Right here, chef.

Gordon: Complaint, raw Spaghetti. No don't (bleep)... (grunts) What the (bleep) is all that? What do you think you are? WWF wrestling. (Bleep)! Taste it!

[Gordon gathers both teams to the pass]

Gordon: Let me just tell you something: The customers are deciding which team is winning this evening. Your fate is in their hands, yet you still send crap! One more dish back, and I'm going to (bleep) shut it down. Now, get a grip!

Gordon: I'm just getting so (bleep) wound up. It's not going anywhere. We're not getting anything out. Everything's (bleep) done, clearly given up, and it's (bleep) embarrassing.

Red Team: No, chef!

Jean-Philippe: (returning with a dish) Chef?

Gordon: Ohhhh (bleep) off! Oh (bleep)off! (Bleep) off! What did they say?

Jean-Philippe: Chicken being cold chef.

Gordon: Huh?

Jean-Philippe: Chicken being cold.

Gordon: Right, hey, gentlemen. Hey, ladies, all look good well over. Hey, Barbie! (Bonnie) Do your hair before you come over! Stone cold chicken, (bleep) salty (bleep) garnish, yeah? And (bleep) there you go chef, there you go. (tosses the dish on the floor) (Bleep) clear down!

Josh Wahler: (interview) Chef was furious. He dropped the plate, he said "(Bleep) off! Shut down!" And we were SO (bleep)damn close again! Dammit.

Episode Five [3.05]

[During the cooking challenge, while cooking the duck breast]

Julia: Bonnie, do I sear it until it gets really, really crispy?

Bonnie: No, you have to do it very slowly. It's not a sear.

Melissa Firpo: (pushing in next to Julia) What's the problem? Julia, ask me if you have any questions.

Bonnie: Alright...

Julia: What is your problem, Melissa?

Melissa Firpo: You're supposed to listen to me, not Bonnie.

Bonnie: (interview) Excuse me?!

Melissa Firpo: Check in on your duck, Julia. You took it out of the oven.

Julia: Yeah, so it won't burn.

Melissa Firpo: I think you should stick it back in, just for a little while.

Julia: But it's already medium.

Melissa Firpo: Guys, all the food has to be plated hot. I'm assuming that you have just a little bit of knowledge of how to cook...

Julia: Don't assume!

Melissa Firpo: ...otherwise, you shouldn't be here.

Julia: I thought that you knew how to cook, too!

Bonnie: (to herself) I am above all this.

[cut to Rock, who is standing in the storeroom by the red kitchen]

Rock: Argue, argue. Hell's Bitches, Hell's Bitches. Yes!

[Both teams have been cooking meals for a wedding reception in Hell's Kitchen]

Gordon: This menu is a crucial, critical menu. Did you use the time wisely?

Red Team: No, chef.

Gordon: What? No?

Bonnie: Too many people were arguing on our team chef.

Gordon: Oh, come on, ladies. Why are we arguing Julia on such an important occasion?

Julia: Because there was one person who wanted to run around and do every single thing.

Gordon: Who was in charge?

Melissa: I'm in charge, but unfortunately I can't do everything at once. I need help.

Gordon: Stop. I didn't put you in charge, madam. You're standing there acting like some jumped up little cavewoman. Today's challenge quite frankly was a team effort. Let's hope what you have produced in the last hour is delicious.

[The teams are tied one to one in the wedding reception challenge.]

Narrator: Now it all comes down to the meat entrée.

Rock: (interview) Tied 1-1. All the pressure is riding on...me.

Gordon: Third and final dish. Please present the meat entrées.

Melissa: (to Jen) We shouldn't send it.

Gordon: Please present the meat entrées together.

Rock: Ready, Jen?

Melissa: Jen, don't send it. Don't.

Gordon: Melissa, I don't know what you're trying to do, or whether you're trying to upset our guests. But right now, I'm starting to get pissed. Now will you send your food?!

Rock: Let's go. (Rock and Jen bring the meat entrées to the table.)

Gordon: Right. Domes off. (Rock and Jen reveal their dishes. Jen's dish is a small, dried up, undercooked duck breast, and that's it.) Alright... okay... ahem...

Bonnie: (interview) There are no words to say how humiliating it was serving a piece of (bleep) duck to a husband and wife to be. I really wanted to disintegrate.

Gordon: Oh dear. Jen.

Jen: Yes, chef?

Gordon: Describe the dish.

Jen: That's a duck breast... um...

Gordon: First of all, I'm deeply embarrassed.

Jen: I am as well. (interview) I was so embarrassed you know. They probably think I cooked it. I had nothing to do with that!

Gordon: Rock, please explain.

Rock: We have a dry aged rib eye that's been pan seared and served with wild mushroom cream sauce.

Gordon: Thank you. (gives Carlotta the rib eye and Cyrus the duck breast)

Cyrus: (trying to cut through the duck) Oh wow, this is really tough.

Gordon: I'm so sorry. Nobody's going to be eating that, are they? (Takes the duck away and covers it with a napkin, then looks at the Red Team in disgust)

Carlotta: (tasting the rib eye) This is delicious. That's great.

Cyrus: Definitely.

Narrator: Rock's rib eye easily beats the women's lame duck and the men win their first challenge in Hell's Kitchen.

Josh Wahler: (interview) Two things are happening right now. Number one, we finally got a win and we feel great about it. Number two, it's open hunting season on chicks and we're about to start picking them off one by one.

Gordon: My, er, apologies, and we'll do all that we can to make sure it's a very special day. Thank you for joining us for the tasting.

Carlotta: Thank you. (She and Cyrus leave)

Gordon: (to the Red Team) You four Hell's Bitches, I am embarrassed. I don't think I've ever, EVER been so embarrassed inside this restaurant in my entire life. That was a joke! You should be ashamed. All four of you are going to work your arses off. Get. Out. My. Sight!

[During preparation for the wedding reception, Melissa has burned a potato dish and has to redo it]

Gordon: They are getting (bleep) married! I can't stop the church!

Gordon: (to Josh) You look fabulous by the way. You should be on GQ's front cover, "Captain (Bleep)."

Josh Wahler: (interview) Chef wants to put me on the cover of GQ. That's fine and good. But what I'm waiting for is for him to put me in charge of Green Valley Ranch.

[During the wedding reception, the wedding MC (Francisco) comes to the pass to demand faster service from Gordon]

Francisco: Gordon?

Gordon: (calls the waiters) Service, please! (to Francisco) Can you get out of the (bleep) way? I'm trying to serve food. You get out of the way. Stand out of the (bleep) way!!

Francisco: Okay, I think that went well.

Gordon: Where is the sauce for the seabass?

Josh Wahler: It's right here, Chef. (brings his sauce to the pass)

Narrator: Josh is moving fast to get entrees to the pass.

Gordon: Hey you, come here.

Narrator: ...maybe, a little too fast.

Gordon: Heat the sauce up! IT'S STONE-COLD!!!

[Melissa has been struggling throughout service]

Gordon: Just come here. Can you stop pissing around? Stand up straight. What is your game here today? What is your (bleep) game? Something just happened to you. You just switched off completely. You're turning into a right little bitch!

Melissa Firpo: No, chef.

Gordon: Wake up!

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef.

Gordon: (Bleep) pathetic!

Episode Six [3.06]

(The blue team has lost the lobster challenge)

Gordon: Losers, unfortunately, your punishment is at the other end of the spectrum. It's incredibly unglamorous. I can't think of any worse place to be. Today, I'm looking for everything that's possible to be recycled from every garbage bin inside this restaurant.

Rock: I've never seen anything inside of a garbage can that should be taken out. I might find this a little difficult.

Gordon: I can guarantee that within one hour, you'll find something.

Rock: (interview) Chef Ramsay tells us that they get to go to In Touch magazine and we have to dig through some (bleep) trash. I grew up in the ghetto in the hood. I ain't never been in no trash.

Brad: Let's take our punishment like gentlemen.

Gordon: Brad, thank you for being a man.

Brad: Thank you chef.

Rock: I guess I'm not a man. (starts throwing and slamming stuff as the blue team cleans up the kitchen) (interview) I'm pissed off! That was the dumbest (bleep) decision I've seen! That was (bleep)!

Brad: (interview) Rock, he was pissed. Pissed to the point where I thought he was going to flip out.

Rock: What kind of (bleep) is that?

Brad: (interview) I'm sorry, "thought". He flipped out.

Rock: Lobster bisque. Get that (bleep) at my (bleep) Corner Bakery! (interview) You can go everywhere and get a (bleep) lobster soup! A grilled (bleep) salad with some (bleep) apple! ORIGINALITY!! BE CREATIVE!!

Rock: And they get the (bleep) win! (interview) They're not creative over there and we lose?! What the (bleep) is original about a crab and lobster bisque?! NOTHING!!!

Melissa Firpo: Does Rock always get that mad?

Brad: I've never seen Rock that mad.

Josh: Never.

Gordon: Brad?

Brad: Yes, Chef?

Gordon: Two appetizers, you served me three. It's not a good start, guys. Water's not boiling properly for the (bleep) pasta, I call away a spaghetti and a (bleep) sea bass, I get a risotto as a little gift I don't (bleep) need. Stop panicking!

Gordon: Is the mashed potatoes ready yet?

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef!

Gordon: Hey, Scott. It looks like glue and runny, it's like he's pouring it into a (bleep) bowl! [bangs the overhead which shakes the entire restaurant] (to Josh) Hey, come here. Do we put salt in the potatoes?

Josh Wahler: Uhm, not at all, chef.

Gordon: Get some potatoes on you.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: [kicks a bin and throws his spoon away] (Bleep) off! (Bleep) off! It's a bunch of (bleep) babies here!

Gordon: Melissa?

Melissa Firpo: Yes, Chef?

Gordon: It's like paper scallops.

Melissa Firpo: I'll get new ones, Chef.

Gordon: (handing Melissa's scallops to Brad and Josh) There you go.

Josh Wahler: (interview) Some of the scallops she did, they were, like, thin as a paper; there's like nothing there.

Gordon: Pass it back to Chef Melissa there, the (bleep) gremlin. Everything she touches, she screws, there you go.

Melissa Firpo: Sorry guys.

Gordon: Hey, madam, this is not our first night?

Melissa Firpo: Yes, chef. No, chef.

Gordon: Yes, chef. No, chef? (Bleep) gremlin.

Melissa Firpo: Monkfish chef.

Gordon: Eh, right. Uhm, Fish King, (Josh) come here you. There's the monkfish.

Melissa Firpo: Overcooked?

Josh Wahler: It's overcooked.

Gordon: Oh, god almighty. You don't know that's overcooked?

Melissa Firpo: Sorry chef.

Gordon: Hey, Brad, she doesn't know that's overcooked. Rock, she doesn't know that's chewed to (bleep) and overcooked. Scott, she doesn't know that's overcooked?

Scott Leibfried: Oh, my God. Completely.

Rock: (interview) Melissa was nervous, I could see it in her eyes and she fell apart. The monkfish was overdone. Pressure busts pipes baby!

Gordon: It looks like regurgitated dog (bleep). Where's other monkfish gone?

Melissa Firpo: I have one left chef.

Gordon: Oh, no! So the six top on order are all (bleep)?

Melissa Firpo: Yes.

Gordon: No, no, NOOOOO!!! Right Rock, listen to me, no choice now. Stop the veg(etables), get on the fish. You! (referring Melissa) Oy! Oy! Get on the garnish. Get the (bleep) off of there! GET OFF!!!

[An entire table of entrées has returned to the blue kitchen and Gordon has had it.]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe: Lobster's chewy, chef. And the beef overdone.

Gordon: Ohhhh, no. The whole (bleep) sixtop returned. Hello, look at me. Thanks (Melissa) for overcooking the monkfish. Thanks (Josh) for shafting me on the mashed potatoes. And thanks (Brad) for being a (bleep) on the appitizers. It's just so sad. Shut it down! Clear down.

Man: What about dessert?

Jean-Philippe: When it's closed, it's closed.

Man: (Bleep) that!

Gordon: Brad, tonight you were (bleep). In fact, you were worse than (bleep). You complimented (bleep).

Episode Seven [3.07]

Gordon: Hello! Hey, hey, hey! We haven't got the garnish now! The team's not working together and I'm getting a little bit pissed now! Not one of you talking, see what's happening!

Julia: Yes, chef.

Gordon: You're just screwing your-(bleep)-selves!

Julia: I see what's happening.

Gordon: NO ONE'S EVEN TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!! (kicks the bins)

Gordon: (to Josh) Where's the lamb? How long please? HOW LONG PLEASE?!!

Josh Wahler: Lamb's coming right now, chef.

Gordon: Let's go.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Hey, you. Hey, donkey.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: One's nicely cooked yeah colored, one's boiled. (Bleep) off, will you? So we're under pressure now and this is where it separates the (bleep) chef from a donkey! Come here! Let me tell you something.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: Let me tell you something in your ear. YOU CAN'T COOK! That's what's just been confirmed to me.

Josh Wahler: Ready to go? We're coming, Rock.

Gordon: Yeah, you're coming. So is your (bleep) elimination.

[After Josh Ruins some lamb chops]

Gordon: Just look what you're doing, you DOUGHNUT! Look, BOILED, BOILED, BOILED, BOILED! DONKEY!

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I expected perfect!

Gordon: Hey, Josh.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef?

Gordon: I wouldn't trust you in a hotdog stand.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Episode Eight [3.08]

Josh Wahler: (interview) I'm working app(etizer)s tonight. I'm totally 100% confident in myself to get the team started off with a bang.

Josh Wahler: Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Gordon: Why is the risotto on? We haven't given one away. How long has that been on there for?

Josh Wahler: That's been on there for four minutes. These were on there earlier. They're going away.

Gordon: (seeing that Josh has cooked five other risottos) (Bleep) h-- how many are you doing? Can someone stop this guy? You've started panicking my man-- How many (bleep) risottos are you doing up front? Look at all these pans!

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: What is going on? Let me tell you something, we've opened, we haven't served anything yet and we've lost money. What a (bleep) doughnut!

Gordon: [checking Rock's overcooked scallops] Rock!

Rock: Yes chef?

Gordon: Yeah, you can (bleep) yourself! Look at that there, look at that. Come on! (Bleep) hell. Three more scallops in! It takes one minute to sauté the scallops. Is that what we serve in Hell's Kitchen?

Rock: Not at all chef.

Gordon: We're going from (bleep) bad to worse man.

Bonnie: (interview) It just seemed so comical. Rock and Josh not doing well.

Gordon: Scallops, risottos, spaghetti! (to Josh) What's in that basket?

Josh Wahler: This is one of the pulled--

Gordon: Why? Just talk to me. Why? Why? Why? (sees that there's already spaghetti in the basket)

Josh Wahler: Starting over. Starting over.

Gordon: Oh, (bleep) me. In your restaurant when you come in here do you cook spaghetti before the customer orders it?

Josh Wahler: Never, chef.

Gordon: So why are you doing it here?

Josh Wahler: It was wrong.

Gordon: (Bleep). Oh was it really wrong? Even my mom cooks spaghetti seven minutes before she wants it. Get it in the bin!

[Deleted Scene]

Gordon: (Bleep) me. (Bleep) me. (Bleep). Josh, you're putting more spaghetti in! It's not away!

Josh Wahler: I heard two spaghetti.

Gordon: It's the third and fourth table that's right. PUT IT IN THE BIN!

Josh Wahler: Going in the bin right now chef.

Gordon: Oh (bleep) me.

Narrator: While Julia struggles to keep her station under control, Josh continues to test Chef Ramsay's patience.

Gordon: What the (bleep) is he doing? (sees more spaghetti in the basket) Wha? More spaghetti in there! (dumps it in the bin)

Josh Wahler: Sorry.

Gordon: We cook spaghetti to order! Even the (bleep), dirtiest, scummiest Italian restaurant in Venice Beach cooks spaghetti to order you donkey!

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Gordon: I'm just wondering what the (bleep) you're doing?

Josh Wahler: I'm here chef.

Gordon: You're pushing me to the (bleep) limit big boy. Huh?

[After undercooked risotto was returned to the kitchen, Chef Ramsay has FINALLY had enough of Josh]

Gordon: What's the matter?

Jean-Philippe: Risotto is undercooked, chef.

Gordon: Sorry?

Jean-Philippe: It's undercooked, chef.

Gordon: Oh, my god almighty! (tastes the risotto, then spits it out) Ugh! Ugh! Oh, (bleep) off! oh, (bleep)--come here! Come here! Come here you! What are you doing? Just what the (bleep) are you doing?! Every table so far, nothing's coming out. You're standing there, you're screwing me and you're (bleep) useless! What are you doing?!

Josh Wahler: Sorry chef.

Gordon: Yeah, do me a favor.

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef?

Gordon: (rips Josh's jacket open) Take that off and (bleep) OFF OUT OF HERE! Get out! Get out! Hey, you, leave the jacket and GET OUT!! GET OUT!!! (throws a spoon at Josh)

[Josh heads to the back and takes off his jacket, Gordon follows him]

Gordon: Give me the jacket!

Josh Wahler: I'm giving you it.

Gordon: Give me the (bleep) jacket! (Gordon takes the jacket off Josh, crumples it up and throws it into the storeroom) (Bleep) useless sack of (bleep)! Get out!! GET OUT!!!

Josh Wahler: (interview) (imitates a bomb falling and exploding) I would've given my right arm to stay in this service and keep fighting. I came here with a dream to win. And it appears it's over. It appears that Green Valley Ranch is not in my future. Dream's over, guys.

Narrator: The four remaining chefs have managed to move on to desserts. But the moment is anything but sweet.

Rock: What is this? Is this yours?

Jen Yemola: That's the ice cream base. Put it over there if you could on the sink. [Rock puts the base on the counter where Bonnie is working. Jen reaches in front of Bonnie for the container.] (Bleep)!

Rock: You a (bleep, bleep)!

Gordon: Hey, hey, hey! Do you mind? We're not arguing amongst ourselves are we?

Jen Yemola: No, chef.

Gordon: Yeah the (bleep) weak link is gone, now you should start (bleep) working as a team!

Rock: Don't jump when you say jump!

Bonnie: Stop, stop, stop.

Rock: Who the (bleep) you think you're talking to.

Bonnie: Stop!

Gordon: I can not run this kitchen like this!

Jen Yemola: Big man. Big man.

Rock: Big man (bleep).

Gordon: SHUT THE (bleep) UP!! (bangs the overhead) Enough's enough.

Rock: Big man (bleep)!

Bonnie: You guys, knock it off. Okay, we got one brulee one panicotta and then we're done.

Narrator: Despite the ongoing fighting,...

Rock: Simple ass broad.

Jen Yemola: You're crazy.

Narrator:...The aspiring chefs manage to successfully complete dinner service.

Episode Nine [3.09]

[Gordon has introduced his mother to the three remaining chefs]

Gordon: Rock, no cursing.

Rock: No, chef.

Gordon: Never ever in front of your mum.

Episode Ten [3.10]

Episode Eleven [3.11]

[Deleted Scene]

Scott Leibfried: (to Josh right before dinner service) You two need to get it together right (bleep) now! Don't make any of your stupid (bleep) things for Rock or I will take you outside and beat the (bleep) out of you! You (bleep) him over and I'm coming after you! You got it? You got it?

Josh Wahler: Yes, chef.

Scott Leibfried: You understand me? Look at my eyes, I am coming for you if you (bleep) him over! You got it?

Josh Wahler: I will not (bleep) him over.

Scott Leibfried: (to Vinnie) You too!

[Deleted Scene]

Vinnie: How long on the garnish? Chef Scott?

Scott Leibfried: Am I in charge of the garnish now because you two (bleep, bleep) can't handle it? Green beans are coming right up. How long on the garnish because you two (bleep) can't handle it? "How long on the (bleep) garnish?" I love that. What's the next pickup?

Rock: Surf and turf snapper?

Scott Leibfried: I'm not (bleep) talking to either one of you (bleep)! Shut your (bleep) mouths!