Gilligan

• Gilligan: SKIPPER!
• Gilligan: Maybe one coconut weighs nothing, maybe two coconuts weigh nothing, but fifty nothings weigh something!

Ginger

• Ginger: This dress is too long.

Skipper

• Skipper: Gilligan, My shoe is full now.
• Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan!

From a series two episode where Gilligan discovers seeds that allow you to read other people's minds:

• Ginger: Well, do you know what I think?!

  Skipper: I most certainly do!

From "Gilligan Goes Gung Ho"

• Gilligan: Skipper, it's against the law to lock somebody up without telling them what they did.

  Skipper: (smiles) Just a moment, Gilligan. [humming] Let's see here. Is that it? Yeah. It says here in the Criminal Law, Section 7, Paragraph 14, 'Let it be known that any man who interferes with or causes in any way a rescue to be fouled up, goes to jail for as long as the Skipper says.'

  Gilligan: There's no law like that in that book.

  Skipper: There is, now!

The Howells

• Mr. Howell: As I always say; The family that bowls together, SPLITS!

• Mr. Howell: A Howell never runs in the face of danger...he walks very fast.

• Mr. Howell: Must be a Yale man.

• Mr. Howell: Now Gilligan, you've never had 3 million dollars before have you?

  Gilligan: Umm, (pauses for a while to think) No sir, I haven't.

Dialogue

Gilligan: Well, do you know what I think?

Skipper: No.

Gilligan: That's good.

The Professor is showing isometric exercises for Mary Ann

Professor: Now, just swim against this with all your might while I pull on this reel.

Mary Ann starts swimming in lagoon while Gilligan appears

Gilligan: Oh, hi there, Professor. Say, that must be a tough one! I will help you with that!

Gilligan starts pulling with the Professor on fishing reel

Professor: No, Gilligan!

Gilligan: Don't sweat it, Professor, that looks like a tough fish you got.

Reel pulls in Mary Ann's one-piece swimsuit

Gilligan: Maybe that was a girl fish.

Gilligan is about to wish them off the island with the "Eye of the Idol". The Professor refuses to go.

Mary Ann: I'm not going.

Mr. Howell: After I reserved first class passage for 7 people?

Mary Ann: It's not fair to leave the Professor here all by himself. Excuse me.

Mary Ann steps over the luggage and stands by the Professor, who puts his arm around her waist.

Mrs. Howell: But you can't stay here alone with him without a chaperone! It isn't proper!

Skipper: Now, you pretend you're Mr. Howell, and I'll go do what you have to do.

[The Skipper walks out of the hut and then knocks on the door]

Gilligan: [sobs hysterically]

Skipper: [runs in] What is it, Gilligan?! What's the matter?!

Gilligan: I'm broke! I lost every cent I have!

Skipper: Oh, for goodness' sakes, would you stop that?!

Gilligan is looking for material to help the Professor build a bomb for a volcano, and he is speaking to Ginger.

Ginger: That's not the way they did it. I was in a movie once, and we did it differently.

Gilligan: What'd they do?

Ginger: Well, they took the handsomest man of the tribe and most beautiful woman.

Gilligan: I bet you played the part of the woman.

Ginger: Oh, Gilligan, sometimes you have such a keen and elliptical mind.

Beginning

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port,
aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
the Skipper brave and sure.
Five passengers set sail that day,
for a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour…
The weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Skipper too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star,
the Professor and Mary Ann (first series: "and the rest, are"),
here on Gilligan's Isle

Ending

Now this is the tale of the castaways,
they're here for a long, long time.
They'll have to make the best of things,
it's an uphill climb.
The first mate and his skipper too,
will do their very best,
to make the others comfortable,
in their tropic island nest.
No phones, no lights, no motor cars,
not a single luxury;
like Robinson Crusoe,
it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends,
you're sure to get a smile,
from seven stranded Castaways,
here on Gilligan's Isle.