Dimwit Dexter

• Factory Worker #1: Sir, what did he say!
• Factory Worker #2: Just a little longer.
• Factory Worker #3: His sim asses are firing in arming incredibly rage.
• Factory Worker #4: Puncher rising!
• Factory Worker #5: She can't take it!
• Factory Worker #6: She's gonna blow!
• [Angrily, Dexter's face turns red, and Dexter begins to let out a loud yell with rage.]
• Factory Worker #7: RUN!!! (The factory workers flee and run away)
• [Cut to the outside of Dexter's Lab, Dexter explodes his clothes off and causes fires in his lab.]
• [The same explosion, the brain factory explodes.]
• [After the explosion, Dexter was seen naked and filled with rage]
• Factory Worker #8: Shut it down.
• [The factory workers shut down the emotion factory.]
• [After the emotion factory shuts down, Dexter is seen naked and emotionless.]
• Factory Worker #9: He said all the systems have shut down.
• Neighbor Boy: Hey, everyone! Dexter's running around in his underpants! (echoing) Underpants! Underpants! Underpants!
• [As Dexter fills himself to maximum capacity with a water nose,he sprays everywhere.]

Dee Deemensional

DeeDee: Oh Dexter! Dexter! Dexter! Come quick! You have to help! It's terrible! You sent me and you're all gross and-

Dexter: [Annoyed] This better be important, woman. You are interrupting my very delicate calculations.

DeeDee: I have a message for you from the future.

Dexter: [Taps his index finger on the table] From the future, huh?

DeeDee: Yes. You sent me back in time to-

Dexter: Stop! If there was a message so important that it would require time travel, I would certainly not entrust it to my idiot sister. I would send myself. In other words...[Shouting] I would not send you back in time even if..! If..if...[Shouting] I was being eaten alive!

DeeDee: [Sobbing] Oh Dexter! Why are you being so terrible?!

Dexter: Please...I have no time for your tears. Why don't you go back outside and talk to trees or whatever it is you do?

DeeDee: Fine! I will! And I'm not ever giving you the message! [Runs out of the lab, crying]

Dexter: [Shrugs it off and continues work] Fine with me.

Dial M for Monkey: Magmanamus

Maternal Combat

[Dad happily returns home to find two smoking robots and the shifty looking kids]

Dad: Hello honey! Hello Dexter! Hello Dee-Dee! Hello honey! (heads upstairs) Hello honey!

Dexter Dodgeball

Dexter: [Hands his excuse note to the "Coach" and happly walks away] If you need me, I'll be in the Science Lab.

Substitute Coach: What is this Craping?

Dexter: [Turns around in shock] Who are you?

Substitute Coach: I'm your Substitute Coach.

Dexter: But, But, But...

Substitute Coach: SCREAMING!

Dexter:...But My Excuse!

Substitute Coach: [Rips the excuse letter in half] What Excuse?! Now! Suit me!

Dee Dee: You're out!

Dial M for Monkey: Rasslor

Rasslor: Welcome heroes of Earth!! You have been chosen to receive the most glorious of gifts! The opportunity to face me, the great Rasslor, in a contest of strength and skill! For Aeons, I have scoured the cosmos searching for the one adversary who could provide me with suitable sport! Although, I have yet to find such a noble soul. Each creature, each race, more pitiful than the last. So I spare them the disgrace of their weakness by destroying their worlds! And now my quest has brought me to this timid little planet you call Earth. So, terrestrial heroes, can one of you quench my thirst for the divine conflict, the supreme struggle?! Or will your planet be doomed to the same fate that has befallen so many?

[The heroes stare at him, confused]

Heroes: ...What?

Rasslor: Fight me or I destroy the Earth! Now let the games begin!

Rasslor: Incredible. I could crush your body, I could smash your bones, but I could never break your spirit. You are a marvel little monkey. Any world that could spawn one as noble as you is truly blessed. I SPARE YOUR EARTH!!!

Dexter's Assistant

Dexter: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Dexter: [Sweetly] Assistant?

Dee Dee: Yes?

Dexter: Would you please assist me by...SHUTTING UP!?

Dexter's Rival

Mandark: Yes, Dexter, I can read your thoughts, and I am smarter than you.

Mandark: Welcome to my laboratory! (Echoing: Laboratory! Laboratory!)

Dial M for Monkey: Simion

Double Trouble

Dial M for Monkey: Barbequor

Jurassic Pooch

Dexter: [To the audience] Anybody want to buy a dinosaur? [Episode ends]

Dial M for Monkey: Orgon Grinder

Dee-Dee's Room

Dexter: Why am I breathing so hard?

Dial M for Monkey: Huntor

Star Spangled Sidekicks

Dee-Dee: [Laughs at Dexter's speech for wanting to be Major Glory's sidekick]

Dexter: And what is so amusing about that? [Dee-Dee continues laughing] Dee-Dee stop laughing this instant!

Dee-Dee: Okay, okay Dexter, don't get your underwear into a wrinkle. Look...You're my brother and all and I'll be honest with ya...[Amused] You've gotta be kidding me! [Seriously] You don't have what takes. Just look at ya...[Measures Dexter] You're two foot nothing. [Camera zooms on Dexter's glasses] You can barely see [Puts her arm around Dexter's shoulder] and besides everything...You're a dork! [Smiles]

Dexter: [Yells in frustration]

Dexter: And I suppose you have what it takes to be a superhero's sidekick?

Dee-Dee: [Shrugs] Of course. I have style, pizzazz, and I can punch and kick some. You know. [Dexter opens his mouth to talk] Yes?

Dexter: [Drops it] Forget it. [Walks upstairs] There's nothing to be said. I will be Major Glory's sidekick and you will not.

Dee-Dee: [Shouts upstairs] That's what you think Dexter!

Dexter: No Dee-Dee! That's what I know.

The Justice Friends: TV Super Pals

Game Over

Dexter: 'Master Computer?' Wow dad, thanks, a video game... An OLD video game...

Dad: Well, I know how much you like gadgets and stuff, Dexter, but what you've got there is more than just a video game: It's a bargain! Got it for a nickel from a gypsy!

Babysitter Blues

Dee-Dee: Hello!

Dexter: Dee-Dee, get off the phone!

Dee-Dee: Okay, but I'm still trying to find whatever it was I was looking for.

Dexter: Great, okay, bye.

Dee-Dee: Bye!

Dexter: Bye.

Dee-Dee: Bye!

Dexter: BYE!

Dexter: (sounds like Lisa's boyfriend on her end of the phone) Oh, I guess we just got cut off. But I wanted to call you back and tell you that you have got cooties and I am love with....with...my football. Bye.

The Justice Friends: Valhallen's Room

Dream Machine

Dexter: Well, if you are the grandfather of all knowledge, that means it's...I'M IN A NIGHTMARE!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Doll House Drama

The Justice Friends: Krunk's Date

The Big Cheese

Dexter: Omelette du fromage.

Way of the Dee-Dee

Dee-Dee: Actually, I feel sorry for you, Dexter. You're like a pickle - sour, and all bottled up in your laboratory. Toiling away alone in the dark, searching for answers to questions nobody asked. Locked away from the world, never to experience the true mysteries of life. Well, you can keep your cold, sterile little lab, because for me, the world is my laboratory! Goodbye, Dexter. I shan't impose on you ever again.

[She leaves the lab; after a moment of silent contemplation, Dexter rushes out after her]

Dexter: DEE-DEE! [sadly] Everything you said was true! I don't want to be a pickle! But I need your help. Show me the way to be free, show me the way of the Dee-Dee!

Dee-Dee: Discard those ravlings which tie you to the lab. [Dexter looks down at his clothes] There must be a stripping of the old, before you start anew. [The next shot shows Dexter in just his underwear and gloves, in a nervous "Ta-Da!" pose] AND the gloves. [He reluctantly pulls them off] Now step into the light.

Dexter: But, I don't have any sunscreen.

Dee-Dee: Do not fear, little one. The first step is always the hardest.

Say Uncle Sam

Major Glory: Now we are going to over this again and again and again untill we get it right! Comprende?

[Valhallen and Crunk glare at Major Glory angrily]

Major Glory: [Nervously] Perhaps I've pushed you too hard

Major Glory: Uncle Sam! What happened to you?!

Uncle Sam: Doctor's orders, nephew. Told me I was too high strung. Told me to loosen up. And I feel great.

The Justice Friends: Can't Nap

Monstory

Dexter: This isn't one of your stupid knock-knock jokes, is it?

Dee-Dee: [as a spider-like monster] Dexter! I see you!

Dexter: [drinks a vat of chemical waste nearby and confronts Dee-Dee as a Godzilla-like monster] This ends now!

Dee-Dee: But I'm not finished!

[Dee-Dee defeats Dexter after they fight as giant monsters]

Dee-Dee: NOW you'll listen! So the boy told the girl in the park on the pony... "Knock-knock!"

Dexter: NOOOOOO!!!!

Beard to Be Feared

Dee-Dee: That is one rugged brother...

Mee-Mee and Lee-Lee: Shut your mouth!

Dee-Dee: I'm only talkin' 'bout Dexter.

Mee-Mee and Lee-Lee: We can dig it.

Quackor the Fowl

Ant Pants

Dexter: Ants are...

Dee Dee: Icky!

Dexter: To be respected.

Dee Dee: Icky!

Dexter: To be respected.

Dee Dee: Icky!

Dexter: To be respected.

Mom and Jerry

Chubby Cheese

Evil Commander: We will meet again, little man.

Robotic Mouse: Yes!

That Crazy Robot

Mom: (To Dee Dee) DeeDee, you've got to go to school.

DeeDee: (To the robot) School schmool. I want to stay home and play with you!

Robot: I'll come to school with you.

DeeDee: Silly robot! School is for kids.

Robot: Please? I'll polish your pencils, carry your books, eat your sandwich, yum. (bites sandwich)

D & DD

Dee Dee: You can be this guy!

Dexter: What?!

Valerian: Well, it seems Hodo the furry-footed burrower has joined in our quest!

Dexter: I don't wanna be no furry-footed burrower.

Dexter/Hodo: I unsheath my deadly...mandolin?!

Dee-Dee/Bachelorette: Okay, say we're stranded alone on an island. Do you have any skills that would come in handy, bachelor number 4?

Dexter/Hodo: I'd dig holes.

Hamhocks and Armlocks

Dexter: [Shouting at the truck passing by] Hey! Who do you think you are?! King of the Road?!

Dexter: What are Hamhocks?

DeeDee: They're gross!

Dad: Earl! You can humilate me. You can destroy my property. But don't you ever close a door on a lady, especially my Wife! You and me wrestle. Be there...or be square!

Dad: Earl! You ready, Earl? Let's do this!

Hunger Strikes

The Koos is Loose

Koosalagoopagoop: You know, if you turn your lips inside out, you can look like Jimmy Carter.

Morning Stretch

Dee-Dee Locks and the Ness Monster

Wolf: I blow 'is block off unless you can guess my name!

Dee-Dee Locks: The, uh...Little Bad Wolf?

Wolf: Ze what bad wolf?

Dee-Dee Locks: The, uh, Small Bad Wolf-?

Wolf: (growls)

Dee-Dee Locks: The, uh, medium-?

Wolf: (growls)

Dee-Dee Locks: Big...Bad Wolf?

Wolf: (laughs appreciatively)

Dee-Dee Locks: (nudging companions) Ja, everyone, it's the 'Big' Bad Wolf.

Backfire

Book 'Em

Mrs L: Oh, Dexter how could you? Your actions have brought shame upon this library. For this you shall be punished. You're banned from the library forever! [stamps Dexter's head that is written banned as he falls he saw Mrs L's face, three biting books, Deedee's creepy face with creepy teeth Dexter's Dad's face and the fire that resembles hell]

Dexter: AAAAAAAAAAHH

DeeDee: Good bye Dexter

Dexter's Dad: You are welcome

Dexter: AAAAAAAAAAHH [falls into the hole from the book written intern Dante's with the pitchfork sign on it as he landed on a book chair]

Library Satan : [slaps Dexter while he is laughing at Dexter] Welcome to library heck [then he starts the evil laugh]

Shoo, Shoe Gnomes

Lab of the Lost

Dexter: Look, there's R2-D2!

Labels

• [Later that night, Dexter guzzles down apple juice and cannot stop drinking it despite his bloated belly.]
• [Dexter, who has somehow gotten the "Dee Dee" label off, and Dee Dee are being made to clean off every single label as punishment for the mess they made]
• Dexter: I sure hope you're happy, Dee Dee, considering this is all your fault.
• Dee Dee: No way! You started it, Dorkster! You put labels on all my dolls!
• Dexter: Well, you were the one that labeled all the food!
• Dexter's Mom: Honey, why is the carpet all wet here?

Game Show

Fantastic Boyage

Fillet of Soul

Dad: What can we say about our beloved Fishy?

Dee-Dee: Not much, we only had him for one day.

Dexter: Good night Einstein. Good night Major Glory! Good night, ghost of dead Fishy.

Dexter: Dee-Dee! Did you see the disgusting spook-fish that almost killed me?

Dee-Dee: No. I just like to run around and scream real loud!

Golden Diskette

Snowdown

Dexter: I know she is my sister, a girl and the neighbourhood champ, but could you please tell Dee-Dee to stop PUMMELLING ME WITH SNOWBALLS?!

Dad: Did you say...snowballs?

Dexter: Uh....Yeah....

Dad: They...called me Champ. Back when I had...the gift. (flashes back to his childhood) I was a natural from day one. As I grew, so did my skills. In high school, I was untouchable!

High school kid: Hey, grow up man!

Dad (VO): They were all just jealous! Jealous of my powers! For I was a king, a force of nature, I was the ultimate snowball warrior! Then I went to college. I was never the same again! (remembers being struck by one snowball)

Dad: That....was the coldest winter...ever... But that's where you come in! You can help me reclaim my title!

Dexter: Why not just let Dee-Dee do it?

Dad: No! Her powers are evil. Only as father and son can we truly carry on the legacy. Let the training begin!

Dad: Dexter, five words: Scoop, roll, throw, hit, duck!

Figure Not Included

Mock 5

Dad: The first thing any racer needs is a car! All the best racers drive cars it's how they go but cars don't grow on trees! Except this one 'cos it's made of wood. Behold, the Mock 5!

Mandark: It's Racer D! The most beautiful racer in the world! Racer D.... (crashes his kart)

Dad: I can't look, did he crash? No! No, he did just the opposite, he won! Winning is the part I enjoy most about racing especially when the winner is my son! Congratulations Dexter, you've made me very proud.

Dexter: Thanks, Dad.

Dad: If only your.... [sniffling] older sister Dee-Dee were here to see this...

Dee-Dee: I'm right here, Dad!

Dad: Oh, Dee-Dee..! Dee-Dee, where have you been all these years?!

Dee-Dee: Right behind you.

Dad: Oh, you know I never look back there, ha-ha!

Dexter: Huh?! No, Monkey! That's not candy! That's boiling lava!

Ewww That's Growth

Dexter: This is the greatest day of my entire life! (his head gets hit by the top edge of the roller coaster's tunnel.)

Nuclear Confusion

• Dee Dee: (narrating) Dexter, I have hidden your funny glowy thing! Now you have to find it! Just follow the clues! Won't this be fun?
• Dexter: (reads) Clue #1. Apple, cherry, blueberry. Are squared. Which pie holds the next clue?
• Dexter's Mom: Dexter? (Dexter turns) If you wanted some pie, all you have to do is ask. Which flavour do you want?
• Dexter: One of each.

Germ Warfare

A Hard Day's Day

Dee Dee: Mom! Dexter's mooning me!

Road Rash

Ocean Commotion

The Bus Boy

The Justice Friends: Things That Go Bonk in the Night

Major Glory: You want a piece of me, junior?!

Puppet Pal Mitch: Oh-hoo! You're bonking up the wrong tree, buddy!

Ol' McDexter

[Rainy day. Dee Dee and Dexter are standing at the bus stop in their raingear. Dexter has a big grin on his face.]

Dee Dee: What are you so happy about, Dexter? I thought you hated camp.

Dexter: I do. But I'm not going to some old regular camp. I'm going to a cool camp.

Dee Dee: Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm going to space camp.

Dexter: Space? Been there, done that.

Sassy Come Home

Photo Finish

Star Check Unconventional

Dexter is Dirty

Mom: Dex, it's time for your bath!

Dexter: But I'll miss my show!

Mom: Don't argue with me, young man, just do it!

Ice Cream Scream

Ice Cream Man: You are wanting to know why? You mean you do not remember?

Dexter: Remember what?

Ice Cream Man: April 19, one year ago: It is first day on job. Everything is going great, until you come. You wanted most expensive ice cream. I make suggestion of cheaper ice cream, but no, you want expensive one. And after I'm giving you ice cream, you pay with pennies. Do you know how long it took me to count those pennies?

Dexter: Emm... at an average human rate, I'd estimate about 5 hours and 33 minutes?

Ice Cream Man: Precisely. And when the counting was done, it is time to put pennies in safe. Then I'm noticing my shoelaces untied. Now, I couldn't very well stop to tie my shoes since somebody had given me a heavy jar of pennies to hold, and the ice cream man rules say to keep any amount of money OVER a dollar in the safe. So, I trip, and I break my tooth. The pain, it is so bad. My girlfriend left me, I lose apartment, I lose car, I'm forced to live on the freeway with wild animals, I CAN'T EVEN EAT ICE CREAM BECAUSE OF THE PAIN! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID PENNIES!! (screams angrily, then breathes hardly)

Dexter: (chuckles) You know, I still have all of my baby teeth. Em... I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really, really sorry.

Ice Cream Man: Forget about it, kid.

Dexter: Well, in that bad case, can I order my ice cream now?

Ice Cream Man: Sure.

Dexter: I'll just have a Choco-Pop, please. (The Ice Cream Man gives him a Choco-Pop ice cream) At last, ice cream to eat!

Ice Cream Man: Dollar fifty, please.

Dexter: (gives a hundred dollar bill to Ice Cream Man) You got change for a hundred?

(Ice Cream Man screams angrily again)

Decode of Honor

Tattooist: So, what image shall I forever scar into your skin? A skull head, a flaming skull head, or the flaming skull head-snake-rose combo?

Dee-Dee: Um, the club didn't specify, but I was thinking maybe a....gingerbread man?

Tattooist: .....You mean like....the one on the end of my finger? 'Well, that's no problem, little girl! Hee hee hee!'

Action Hank: Breakfast is no longer being served! Prepare to get brunched in the face!

World's Greatest Mom

Ultrajerk 2000

Dee-Dee Be Deep

• Dee Dee: What's with all the noise, Dexter?!

911

Down in the Dumps

Dexter: Da-da-da-dum!

Unfortunate Cookie

The Muffin King

• Dad: Like them? Like them?! Kids, I love your mother's muffins! More than life itself. Those muffins are the reason I married your mother.

• Dad: [Dressed as Mom] Muffin Time!!

• Dad:[Hidden in the dark] Dexter. Son, could you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you.
• Dexter: And just what is it you want?
• Dad:[steps out of the shadows, with a presence like Darth Vader] Dexter. I... am your father!
• Dexter[shocked]That is not possible![but returns back to reality]Oh wait, no, you're right.
• Dad: So join me! Come to the Muffin Side. Do not resist. It is your destiny.
• Dexter: Never!

Picture Day

Now That's a Stretch

Dexter Detention

Prison Warden: Looks like you broke into the state prison.

Don't Be a Baby

Dexter: Computer, what the heck is going on?!

Computer: Goo goo ga ga goo goo pee-pee!

Dexter: Hmm, yes, pee-pee...

Dee Dee: Dad stop being a stinker!

[She picks Dad up and then sniffs the air smelling something stinky]

Dee Dee: Ew, speaking of stinky...time to change your diaper!

[She sets Dad down on the floor and proceeds to change his diaper, afterwards holding up the dirty diaper which has a large brown spot on the seat]

Dee Dee: That's better...now a little powder.

[She sprinkles a whole lot of baby powder which fills the air causing Dad to cough]

Dee Dee: All done!

Dial M for Monkey: Peltra

G.I.R.L. Squad

Sports A Poppin'

Koosalagoopagoop

Project Dee-Dee

Topped Off

Dexter's Dad: Hmm... What the? (cuts to mugs leaking coffee, coffee pot, and milk) The kitchen's a mess. Something wrong here. (eyes go open) (searches through cabinets) Coffee, coffee, where's the coffee? Hello, coffee? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE COFFEE?!?!?!

Dee Dee: Uh...

Dexter and Dee Dee: We drank it all.

Dexter's Dad: You... drank the coffee? (laughs) You two drank the coffee?

Dexter and Dee Dee: (giggle)

Dexter's Dad: (laughing) (goes upset) Where did I go wrong? I thought I was a good father. I thought I brought you kids up right. You see, kids, coffee is what we adults need to get started in the morning. It's the key to our ignition. You kids don't need it. No. You've got youth. We adults need the coffee. But now, all we have is... (holds up empty coffee pot) THIS!!! (tries to get a drop from the coffee pot but nothing comes out) Empty! A mere shell of its former self! I've seen some pretty horrible things in my life. But this... this is just... SICK! (sobbing)

(Dexter and Dee standing in front of Dexter's parents in their morning clothes drinking coffee.)

Dexter's Dad: Everything is going to be OKAY! We had coffee after all! (with a bit frightened look) But what if we didn't?

Dee-Dee's Tail

Lee Lee: Why are you crying?

Dee Dee: I wanna be a real Ponypuff Princess, instead of just pretending.

Mee Mee: Oh. Girl, are you feeling all right?

Dee Dee: NO I AM NOT FEELING ALL RIGHT!! [Throws a toy pony at Mee Mee]

Mee Mee: HEY! Watch it, girl, this is my house! And we don't play that at my house, Mm-mm.

Dee Dee: Well, I am through playing. I wanna be a Ponypuff Princess FOR REAL!!

Lee Lee: [Gasps] Don't go there, Dee Dee.

Dee Dee: Go where?! The only place I'm going is home! [cries all the way home]

Mee Mee: You know, all that girl ever does is scream.

Dee Dee: (now as a horse) Wow, I'm a real pony!

No Power Trip

Dad: Honey, when is the last time you washed the car?

Sister Mom

Dee Dee (as Mom): *with candy in her mouth* That's it?! An A minus?! That's what you did wrong?!

Principal: Uhh....

Dee Dee (as Mom): *angrily speaks towards Dexter* You give me a full body makeover all for a lousy A minus?!

Principal: Umm...

Dee Dee (as Mom): GEEZ! I thought you stole the school mascot or destroyed the science lab!

Dexter: *looks towards her and exclaims* Hey!

Dee Dee (as Mom): Or at least, teepeed his office!

Principal: Hey!

Dee Dee (as Mom): But Noooooo, you got a stupid A minus. *bops Dexter on the head* Dork.

Principal: Oh my.

Dexter: Well, "mom," I wouldn't have gotten an A minus, *jumps up and shouts* IF MY STUPID SISTER WOULD STOP BUGGING ME!

Dee Dee (as Mom): DEE DEE'S NOT STUPID! She's prettier, taller, nicer, friendlier, happier and way more popular than you'll ever be! Plus, your father and I like her best, so- *blows raspberry*

*Dexter grabs her tongue, but she ends up flipping him over and Dexter crashes into a wall*

The Laughing

Clown: Joke time! Joke time! Joke time! Alright, kids. Why is 6 afraid of 7? (beat) 'Cause 7 8 9!

[the kids, minus Dexter, burst into laughter]

Dexter: I don't get it.

Dexter's Lab: A Story

[The dog is roaming around under the table sniffing around the family]

Dad: So, Dexter, where's your new buddy? Oh! Well, hello down there!

Dog: Hey! It's the man from before!

Mom: Oh!

Dog: This one's a lady!

Mom: He certainly is friendly.

Dee-Dee: Oh!@!@##$ Yeah, a little too friendly.@$#$%

Dog: IT'S THE STICK!

Coupon for Craziness

Better Off Wet

Dee Dee: Where was I going? (a bit of the roof lands on her head) POOL! (She takes off like a jack rabbit, wearing her swimsuit, and sandals, arrives at the pool outside, flips off her slippers and puts on her swimming cap) Hurry up, Dexter! (rides the slide and lands into the pool before she squirts out water)

Dexter: I am not ready yet. (He takes his hat, dressing gown, and takes off his sandals, showing his purple swimming trunks)

Dexter's Mom: (She walks by, shows her son that she wears her green bikini, and shows Dexter that she wears her green sandals on her feet, whenever she wants to get them burnt or not get them burnt) Dexter, ready to get wet?!

Dexter: Almost!! (he rubbing sunscreen onto his arms)

Dexter's Dad: (he appears behind Dexter's Mom) Hi, Dexter! (the camera pans in on a shocked Dexter)

Dexter: NO!!! (He takes off like a jack rabbit)

Dexter's Dad: Dexter? (He looks around)

Dexter: (blinks on the roof, thinking he is safe) Phew...

Dexter's Mom: (Now that Dexter's Mum has her sandals off, she stands still on the diving board, before she walks onto the end of it, jumps in into the swimming pool, and makes a big splash! She disappears, swims underwater, makes lot of bubbles, and reappears and makes the next splash) Come on in, Dexter, the water's great!

Dexter: Okay, Mom.

Lee Lee: Oh, Dee Dee!

Mee Mee: We're here!

Dee Dee: Hi, girls, come on in!

Dexter: You said it. (realizes Dad, screams in terror, doesn't get pushed into the water, but only hurts Dee Dee and her sisters, pants only for a short while) Phew!

Dexter's Dad: Darn, I just can't get that kid! (He notices Dexter's Mom walking up to the pool) Oh, well!

Dexter's Mum: (She hums, checks to see if the water is warm or cold, gets pushed by Dexter's Dad, screams in terror and lands into the pool)

Dexter's Dad: Good job, son, you finally made it in the pool.

Dexter: Thanks, Dad, I don't know I was so shy of the water. (Dexter's Parents and sister laugh because Dexter is naked because he has lost his trunks!)

Critical Gas

Dad: Hey, Dexter!

[Dexter switches off the TV.]

Dexter: Mother, Father, forgive my rudeness. But I have something very important to tell you.

Mom: Well honey you can talk to us about anything.

Dad: Yeah. Whatever it is let 'er rip!

Dexter: [sighs as he prepares to tell his parents about his lab. Groans in pain and lets out a huge fart.]

[Dexter is visibly embarrassed and has knocked the TV into the wall after he farts]

[Mom and Dad are stunned]

Dad [shocked]: Dexter.

[Dexter smiles and farts again]

Let's Save the World You Jerk!

[Earth is destroyed by meteors]

Dexter: That was all your fault, you gnome!

Mandark: No way! You're taking the heat for this one, Dexter!

Average Joe

Rushmore Rumble

Dexter: [Screaming] Dee Dee: HI DEXTER! Penny for your throughts? Dexter: I'm thinking Lincoln! Timmy's Mom: Timmy, why don't you go and play outside? Timmy: Is it safe? Timmy's Mom: Well if course it is. Timmy: Okay. Timmy: La La La La La La La La La La La. Timmy: [Screaming]

A Boy and His Bug

You Vegetabelieve It

Aye Aye Eyes

Dee-Dee: What are you so happy about?! Is it 'cos you're in love?

Dexter: No, no, no. I'm happy because I FINALLY FOUND MY LASER GUN!

Dee-Dee: Dexter! Violence isn't the answer. I mean, you can't just zap the creepy-eyed girl, just because she's forcing you to be her boyfriend. Duh.

Dexter: I know... But what should I do?

Dee-Dee: Simple. Get her to fall in love with someone else!

Dexter: Impossible.

Dee-Dee: Why?

Dexter: (suavely) 'Cos once you've loved Dex, you've loved the best. [Dee Dee looks disdainful] Uh...what was your plan again..?

Dee-Dee and the Man

Old Flame

Don't Be a Hero

My Favorite Martian

Paper Route Bout

Dee Dee: Uh, Dad? Don't you think you're overreacting? It's only a little coffee.

Dad: Yeah, but it was pretty hot, you know.

The Old Switcharooms

Mom: You Kids are in big trouble.

[Dee-Dee and Dad return enter Dee-Dee's room and see that Dexter has destroyed it and is naked]

Dad: Argh!

Dee Dee: (Gasps) Dexter, you're naked! [Knocks the trophy out Dad's hands, destroying it]

Dexter: Now look what you did Dee Dee. You clumsy fool!

Dad: Argh!

[Cut to Dexter who is now in the doghouse, having switched "rooms" with the family dog]

Dexter: Uh? Well, at least I don't have to worry about the dog destroying my lab.

[Cut to the dog barking and howling and destroying Dexter's lab]

Trick or Treehouse

Dee Dee: Well, well. Look who's smaller than a breadbox.

Dexter: Dee Dee! Let me out of here!

Dee Dee: Ha! I didn't know you could stick your beak into my business, and to get even, I get to go play around in your lab.

Dexter: Please! Dee Dee! No! Let me out!

Dee Dee: See you 'round, shortbread!

Dee Dee: (Giggle)

Dexter (Screaming)

Quiet Riot

Accent You Hate

• Gary The School Bully Who Hates Kids With Funny Accents: You know, kid. You’ve got a funny accents. And if you haven’t read I hate kids with funny accents.
• Gary The School Bully Who Hates Kids With Funny Accents: Get away from me! SHUT UP! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
• (The statue punches Gary. The kids gasp. Gary's face grows red and big.)
• Gary The School Bully Who Hates Kids With Funny Accents: My face. It hurts.

Catch of the Day

Dad Is Disturbed

Framed

That's Using Your Head

DiM

Dee-Dee: You know they're all gonna burn out eventually.

Dexter: I know…..

Just an Old-Fashioned Lab Song...

Repairanoid

Mom: When an electrical problem arises, I call a specialist! [Dad appears with a helmet and tool belt] No, honey. Not you.

Backwards

Dexter: [Gasp!] Dee Dee?! [switch activates] !?eeD eeD [!pasG]

Dexter: Reverse! (FALLING UP WITH ACTIVATING SWITCH!) For-ward! (FALLING DOWN)

The Continuum of Cartoon Fools

[Dexter swallows the key to the secret bookcase entrance]

Dexter: THERE! NOW NO ONE'S GETTING IN! [maniacal laugh]

Dee-Dee: Hmmm... Yep. No one's getting into Dexter's Lab now. [leaves]

[Dexter's smile of insanity turns into a look of horror]

Dexter: ......Uhhh, oh my dear... In my overwhelming zeal to banish my sister from the lab, I have indeed locked myself out! Too blinded was I not to foresee the most piteous of fates. I have thus performed the ultimate tragic irony! (now standing in front of 'The End' title card) Surely, I am the fool of fools on a par with no other. I am no better than that stupid coyote or that crazy duck! Look at me, look at me! I am locked in a continuum of cartoon fools! I am doomed to a life of comic mishap adventures and social indignations! And now, here I stand before you, beaten, defeated and alone...

Sun, Surf and Science

Big Bots

Gooey Aliens That Control Your Mind

Misplaced in Space

Alien: Gork.

Dexter: (translating on his watch) 'Food?' Yeah, 'food'. You ate mine, yours, and everybody else's!

Alien: Gork.

Dexter: You can't still be hungry

Alien: Gork...

Dexter: Wh...Why are you looking at me like that?

Alien: GORK!

Dee-Dee's Rival

Slightly Psycho

Game For a Game

Blackfoot and Slim

Narrator: For someday, we shall return to check up on this wonderful creature. This wonderful world of Blackfoot.

Trapped With a Vengeance

The Parrot Trap

Dexter's Parrot: (in Dee Dee's voice) Dexter's a cookie!

Dexter: (angrily) I am not a cookie!

Dexter's Parrot: Dexter's a cookie!

Dexter: Am not!

Dexter's Parrot: Are too, cookie! (Dexter violently shakes the stick the parrot is on, and it switches into Dexter's voice) I'm gonna bop you one, girl! (Dexter slams the parrot onto his desk, and it segues back into Dee Dee's voice) COOKIE! (Dexter repeatedly slams the parrot onto the table, until it is later seen beaten nearly into submission, and is flying away)

Dexter: Good riddance! That has to be my worst invention yet!

Dexter's Dad: Who's trying to sneak up on me?

Parrot: Dexter, boy genius. Dexter the cookie!

Dexter's Dad: Shhhh I'm trying to watch my show!

Parrot: I'm gonna bop you!

Dexter's Dad: That is no way to talk to you-

Parrot: You are a stupid girl! Get out get out get out! Yup yup yup! Don't touch anything!

(Dexter's Dad crawls away in fear)

Dexter's Dad: I-I-I-I-I'm sorry

Dexter's Parrot: (in Dee Dee's voice) You're a cookie! (in Dexter's voice) Get out get out get out!

Dexter's Mom: Alright, let's see. I'll need two eggs...

(Dexter's Mom cracks open two eggs and places them into the cooking bowl beside her)

Dexter's Mom: One stick of butter...

(Takes a stick of butter placed near her and places it into the cooking bowl)

Dexter's Mom: A half a cup of sugar...

(Dexter's Mom walks over to the left side of the kitchen counter where several containers lay as well as Dexter's Parrot. Mom takes some sugar and places it into the cooking bowl)

(Dexter's Mom walks over to a spice rack inside the kitchen where various spices are seen as well as Dexter's Parrot from out of nowhere)

Dexter's Mom: A pinch of cinnamon.

Parrot: A cup of cinnamon.

Dexter's Mom: A cup of cinnamon.

Parrot: A quart of pepper.

Dexter's Mom: A quart of pepper.

Parrot: A box of olives.

Dexter's Mom: A box of peppers.

Parrot: Yup, yup, yup!

(Dexter's Mom opens the refrigerator door inside the kitchen where the Parrot is seen inside once again)

Dexter's Mom: A block of cheese.

Parrot: A block of cheese.

Dexter's Mom: A gallon of milk.

Parrot: A gallon of milk.

(Dexter's Mom takes the Parrot out of the refridgerator)

Parrot: Are you sneaking up on me?!?

(Mom back at the kitchen counter using the Parrot as a coffee boiler and pouring it into the bowl)

Dexter's Mom: A cup of coffee.

Parrot: A cup of coffee.

(Mom settles the Parrot back down on the counter)

Dexter's Mom: Beans!

Parrot: Beans!

(Cookies fly out of the bowl suddenly)

Parrot: Cooooooooookies!

Dexter's Mom: Cooooooooookies!

Parrot: Worms and plastic minnows.

Dexter's Mom: Now wait just a minute here! ...... Where am I gonna get worms and plastic minnows?

Parrot: The Florida Everglades!

(Mom is seen immediately backing the car out of the house's driveway and driving away)

Dexter and Computress Get Mandark!

Dexter: You are stupid! You are stupid! And don't forget, you are stupid!

Pain in the Mouth

Dexter vs Santa's Claws

Dad: Dexter, what do you have to say for yourself?

Dexter: Well, I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. Again. But, isn't Christmas really about the family, and the love and the sharing and... Oh, Christmas tree! Oh, Christmas tree!

Dee Dee: You blockhead! That's not what Christmas is about!

Dexter:It's not? Then what is it about?

Santa Claus: The presents. Ho ho ho!

Dyno-Might

Dynomutt: Oooooh, what does this button do?

Dad: Nice uniform. You on some kind of sports team?

Blue Falcon: I'm the Blue Falcon.

Dad: Oh, yeah, the Falcons! You guys didn't do so well last season.

Blue Falcon: I'm the Blue Falcon!

Dad: Aww, don't be blue!

Blue Falcon: I don't understand! This isn't like my old Dynomutt at all!

Dexter: Well...He's not, I built you an all-new one.

Blue Falcon: What? Why?

Dexter: Well, the old one was just a goofy idiot sidekick.

Blue Falcon: He wasn't just a goofy idiot sidekick! He was a....go-go dog person!

Blue Falcon: Remember, Dexter: It's a goofy idiot sidekick that makes a superhero super.

LABretto

Dad: [Singing] My goodness, my gracious, when will this day be done? Will I have a girl or will I have a son?

Dexter: [Singing sadly as the spotlight shines on him] This is not fantasy. This is reality. I'm stuck for my life! I'm stuck and I'll be stuck forever! With...my sister...Dee Dee!

Last But Not Beast

Dad: Secret laboratory? Now, Dexter, we need to straight a few things up with this secret laboratory business!

Streaky Clean

A Dad Cartoon

Sole Brother

Mind Over Chatter

Dexter: [In his mind] Yuck! Mom's oatmeal! Tastes like barf!

Mom [Gasps] Dexter! Don't be rude!

Dexter: [Confused] Huh?

Dexter: [In his mind while watching DeeDee scarfing down her oatmeal] That sister of mine! What a ferocious pig!

DeeDee: Hey! I'm no pig!

Mom : That is enough Dexter! Time for school.

Dexter: But wait Dad, what-

Dad: The answer is no! Now get!

Dexter: [In his mind] Dad, what a stubborn poopoo doody head!

Dad: I heard that!

Mom: And we are going to have a serious talk about your potty mouth when you get home from school today!

Momdark

Mom: Um, what did he mean when he said, "your lab", Dexter?

Dexter: I don't know.

Rude Removal

Dee Dee: Oooh! Dexter's got gas!

Rude Dexter: Where are we?

Rude Dee Dee: Beats me!

Nice Dexter: Why, you're in Dexter's Laboratory, silly. I'm Dexter, and this golden-haired angel behind me is my charming sister, Dee Dee.

Nice Dee Dee: Charmed!

Rude Dexter: Ah, buzz off!

Nice Dexter and Dee Dee: [Gasp] Oh dear!

Mom: I hope you're hungry, 'cause I made a [trips over Rude Dexter] very... SPECIAL LUNCH THAT I GOT FROM A RECIPE THAT I... FOUND IN A BESSIE CRACKER MAGAZINE! [pants] I hope you like it.

Mom: [Dizzy] Well, what do you think, Dexter?

Rude Dexter: [Mouth full] I think it tastes like JUNK! [Spits at Mom]

Mom: [Faints]

Mom: [Angry] Dexter! No, absolutely not! You cannot have any dessert!

Rude Dexter: Why? You want it all to yourself?

Mom: [Gasps, then faints]

Mom: Now to clean those filthy mouths.

Dexter: [to the audience] Oh, trash!

Inside Dee Dee's Ear

Dexter: I am under attack!

Planetarium

Dexter: Dee Dee! Get away from my planetarium!