Batman is a 1989 film about the caped crusader's fight against his arch-nemesis, the Joker.

Directed by: Tim Burton. Written by Sam Hamm and Warren Skaaren, based upon characters created by Bob Kane.

The Joker/Jack Napier

• [reading newspaper headline about Batman] "Winged freak terrorizes". Wait 'til they get a load of ME.

• [talking to Antoine Rotelli's burned corpse] Your pals, uh.... they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, like, oughtta give them a couple of days to think things over. No? Grease 'em now? Well.... OK, so you are a vicious bastard, Rotelli, and.... [tightens Rotelli's charred tie] .... I'm glad you're dead! [laughs maniacally] I'm glad you're dead! [continues to repeat the phrase and laugh]

• [after killing Vinnie Ricorso via sharpened quill] The pen.... is truly mightier than the sword!

• Can somebody tell me what kind of a world we live in where a man dressed up as a bat gets all of my press?! This town needs an enema!

• [in TV ad] New and improved Joker products! With my new secret ingredient--"Smylex!" Now, let's go over to our blind taste test. Uh-oh. He don't look happy. He's been using Brand X! But with this new and improved Joker brand.... I get a grin again and again! That luscious tan! Those ruby lips! And hair color so natural that only your undertaker knows for sure! I know what you're saying: "Where can I get these fine new items?" Well, that's the gag. Chances are that you've bought 'em already! [laughs] So remember, put on a happy face!

• Joker here. Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things, some of which were true under that fiend Boss Grissom. He was a thief and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice. He's dead now, and he's left me in charge. Now, I can be theatrical, and maybe even a little rough – but one thing I am not is a killer. I am an artist. I love a good party. So...truce. Commence au festival! And I've got a surprise for Gotham City. At midnight, I will dump 20 million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me; I've got enough. You heard it, folks, 20 million. And there will be entertainment. The big duke-a-roo, with me in one corner and in the other corner, the man who has brought real terror to Gotham City...Batman. Can you hear me? Just the two of us. Mano y mano. I have taken off my makeup. Let's see if you can take off yours.

• And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!" Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust? Me? I'm givin' away free money. And where is the Batman? He's at home, washin' his tights! [looks up into the sky and sees the Batwing] Winged battle flies through the night and finds me ready. [to his lieutenant] Bob, mask. [to crowd in the street while Bob and the mob don their gas masks] And now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But, as my plastic surgeon always said, "If you gotta go, go with a smile!"

• Hey Eckhardt, think about the future! [shoots Eckhardt]

• You know, Vick, I've recently had a tragedy in my life. [takes out Alicia Hunt's porcelain mask] Alicia threw herself out of the window. But... you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. [smashes the mask, making Vicki cry out, and laughs]

• You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

• Never rub another man’s rhubarb!

• Ah. Beauty and the beast. Course if anyone calls you "beast", I’ll rip their lungs out.

• I now do what other people only dream. I make art until someone dies. See? I am the world's first fully-functioning homicidal artist.

• I'm only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin-deep. If you could see inside I'm really crying. you might join me for a weep. [laughing]

• [knocking bricks loose] Oh, they don't make 'em like they used to! Do they, eh?! Eh, batsy?!

• [trying to escape onto a helicopter] Well, it's time to retire! Feel free to drop in!

• [last words] Sometimes I just kill myself!

Dialogue

Nick: Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man! Don't kill me! Don't kill me, man!!

Batman: I'm not gonna kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.

Nick: What are you?!

Batman: I'm Batman.

[At a secret meeting in an alley, Jack Napier throws a bag to Lt. Max Eckhardt.]

Jack Napier: Brought you a little snack, Eckhardt.

Lt. Max Eckhardt: Why don't you broadcast it?

Jack Napier: Shut up and listen. Harvey Dent's been sniffing around one of our front companies.

[Eckhardt opens the bag to find a wad of cash between two pieces of bread.]

Lt. Max Eckhardt: That's my territory. If there's a problem, I deal with it.

Jack Napier: Your problems are our problems.

Lt. Max Eckhardt: I answer to Grissom, not to psychos.

Jack Napier: Why Eckhardt, you ought to think about the future.

Lt. Max Eckhardt: You mean when you run this show. You ain't got no future, Jack! You're an A-1 nut boy and Grissom knows it.

[Jack calmly pushes Eckhardt, who draws his gun on Napier but freezes when Napier's bodyguard Bob draws on him.]

Jack Napier: Better be sure.

[Eckhardt lowers his gun.]

Jack Napier: See? You can make a good decision when you try.

[He laughs and walks away with Bob, leaving Eckhardt alone in the alley.]

Lt. Max Eckhardt: Where have you been spending your nights?

[Grissom, in his penthouse, reads a newspaper proclaiming Harvey Dent's plan to target organized crime in Gotham City.]

Carl Grissom: Say this son of a bitch makes a connection with us and with Axis Chemicals. What kind of damage are we looking at?

Mobster: If he ties us in with Axis Chemical, we're dead and buried. We should move immediately.

Jack Napier: [fiddling with a deck of playing cards] I say we break into the place, trash the office, make off with the records, and say it was industrial espionage.

Carl Grissom: Jack, smart thinking. That's the way to go. In fact, I'd like you to handle this operation personally.

Jack Napier: [surprised] Me?

[He draws a Joker from the deck and sees Alicia entering the penthouse.]

Carl Grissom: Hello, sweetheart! I wonder if - if you'd mind waiting in the next room.

[She does so, giving Napier a sultry look that Grissom spots.]

Carl Grissom: That's all, gentlemen, thank you, thank you, gentlemen, that's all.

[The other mobsters file out, leaving Grissom and Napier alone.]

Jack Napier: Carl, uh, can we get somebody else to do this? The fumes in that place...

Carl Grissom: Jack...it's an important job. I need someone I can trust. You are my number-one guy. Now, don't forget... [sprays the deck into Napier's hat] ...your lucky deck.

[Napier leaves, still uneasy.]

Carl Grissom: [to himself, picking up telephone receiver] My friend, your luck is about to change. [dials number]

Police dispatcher: Police Department.

Carl Grissom: Get me Lieutenant Eckhardt.

[A back-alley surgeon has just finished trying to repair Jack Napier's face.]

Surgeon: Let's see how we did.

[He starts to remove the bandages, but Napier wakes up and pulls them off himself.]

Surgeon: [softly, horrified] Oh, my God...

Jack Napier: Mirror. MIRROR!

[The surgeon hands Napier a mirror and he begins to chuckle at his reflection.]

Surgeon: You understand that the nerves were completely severed, Mr. Napier.

[Napier laughs madly and shatters the mirror.]

Surgeon: [showing his tools to Napier] You see what I have to work with here.

[Napier continues laughing as he pushes the surgeon out of his way, breaks the overhead light bulb, and leaves.]

[As Grissom pours himself a drink in his penthouse, Jack Napier/The Joker enters and stands in the shadows]

Carl Grissom. That you, sugar bumps? [turns around] Who the hell are you?

The Joker. It's me.... "sugar bumps".

Carl Grissom. [alarmed] Jack? Oh...oh, thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been--

The Joker. Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up over a woman. A WOMAN! You must be insane. [chuckles]

[Grissom guzzles his drink and reaches for a gun, but Jack draws on him first.]

The Joker: Don't bother.

Carl Grissom. Your life won't be worth SPIT!

The Joker. I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. You should think of it as, uh, therapy. [chuckles again]

Carl Grissom. Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal.

The Joker. Jack? Jack is dead, my friend. [emerging into the light] You can call me...Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier. [laughs maniacally while repeatedly shooting Grissom, then stands with his arms out as if receiving applause] Eh, what a day.

The Joker: So, gentlemen, that's how it is. Until Grissom, uh, resurfaces... [chuckles] ... I'm the acting President, and I say starting with this anniversary festival, we run this city into the ground.

Vinnie Ricorso: Why don't we hear this from Grissom?

Antoine Rotelli: Yeah, and what's with that stupid grin?

The Joker: Life's been good to me. [chuckles]

Antoine Rotelli: What if we say "no"?

The Joker: [stands up and comes towards Rotelli] Well, Tony, nobody wants a war. And if we can't do business, why, we'll just shake hands, and that'll be it. [reaches out his hand for a shake]

Antoine Rotelli: Yeah?

The Joker: Yeah.

[Joker grabs Rotelli's hand and starts electrocuting him via joy buzzer-esque device hidden in his palm]

The Joker: [acts surprised, looking at other gangsters] Woo! Woo! [chuckles] I got a live one here! [laughs maniacally while Rotelli catches fire] Oh, there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight!

[Joker continues to laugh maniacally and eventually releases Rotelli's body, which - now reduced to a blackened, smoldering skeleton - falls back into the chair; at this moment, Joker's goons enter the room and surround the mob leaders, holding them at a gunpoint]

The Joker: [laughs] Antoine got a little hot under the collar!

Vinnie Ricorso: You're crazy.

The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter? [laughs again and starts erasing his make-up, revealing white skin underneath] NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!!! [Joker's goons force the gangsters out of the room] And think it over! [laughs again]

Vinnie's Assistant: We have witnesses. Grissom's signature is perfectly legitimate.

The Joker: It is legitimate! I saw it. I was there. I saw it all. He reached up with his dead hand and signed it in his own blood. And he did it with this pen. [pulls out a poison quill pen] Hello, Vinnie. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check. [throws quill pen at Vinnie, hitting him in the neck and killing him instantly] The pen.... is truly mightier than the sword!

Vicki: Some people say that you're as dangerous as the Joker.

Batman: He's psychotic.

Vicki: There are some people who say the same thing about you.

Batman: What people?

Vicki: Well, let's face it, you're not exactly.... "normal", are you?

Batman: It's not exactly a "normal" world, is it?

[Action News, Peter and a new anchorwoman are without beauty products.]

Anchorwoman: Six new deaths with no clues on the Joker's deadly weapon.

Peter: And what is the pattern? Food? Alcohol? Or Beauty or hygiene products? Cologne? Mouthwash? Underarm deodorant?

Anchorwoman: Or worse yet, there may be no pattern. The search goes on through Gotham's shopping nightmare.

Bruce: What's on your mind, Alfred?

Alfred: I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

[Joker and Bob are watching the latest news report]

Peter: Avoid the following combinations: deodorant with baby powder, hairspray, and lipstick. Safe products are flying in as Gotham City goes on a forced fast and all of Gotham is wondering what to make of Batman: Friend or Foe?

The Joker: I have given a name to my pain and it is Batman.

[He shoots the TV set and gives the gun to Bob]

The Joker: Must possess strength to inflict pain, Bob. We've got a flying mouse to kill and I want to clean my claws.

Batman: Excuse me. You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? [punches Joker and knocks him against a bell, before grabbing him] I'm going to kill you.

Joker: You... IDIOT!!! You made me, remember? You dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try!

Batman: [smirks] I know you did.

[Batman punches Joker in the stomach and knocks him through a wall. He grabs him and helps him up only to punch him in the face again. Joker stands up, muttering and clutching his mouth until he spits out a chattering teeth toy. He retaliates by punching Batman in the stomach, only to break his fingers on the body armor]

Batman: You killed my parents.

Joker: What? [spits blood on the floor] What are you talking about?

Batman: I made you; you made me first.

Joker: Hey, bat-brain, I was a kid when I killed your parents! I mean, c'mon, gimme a break, huh? I say that I made you, you've gotta say that you made me. How childish can you get? [puts on a pair of glasses] You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? Huh?!

[Batman knocks the Joker over the side]

Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning. "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."

Alexander Knox: Question: How do we call him?

Commissioner Gordon: He gave us his signal!

Vicky Vale: So, what can I do for you?

Joker: Oh ! A little song, a little dance. Batman's head on a lance.

Harvey Dent: We've received a letter from Batman this morning: "Please inform the citizens of Gotham that Gotham City has earned a rest from crime. But if the forces of evil should rise again, to cast a shadow on the heart of the city, call me."

Alexander Knox: Question - how do we call him?

Commissioner Gordon: He gave us a signal! [activates the Bat-Signal]

Alfred: [Opening the limo door for Vicki] I thought champagne would be in order, ma'am.

Vicki: Hi, Alfred. [Gets into the limo as Alfred closes the door, then gets into the driver seat]

Alfred: Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that he might be a little late.

Vicki: [smiles] I'm not a bit surprised...

Taglines

• Nicholson. Keaton.
• Only one will rule the night.
• [from TV spot] The real story. The love story. A woman in danger. A hero in black.

About Batman

• There was no guarantee that any of this was going to play correctly when it was all said and done. There had never been a movie like it before. There was a lot of risk, too, with Jack looking the way he did and me stepping out in this new way. The pressure was on everybody. You could feel it.
• We’re standing there at one point, I’m in my bat suit, Jack is in Joker get-up and I just looked at him and said, ‘We’re grown men, right?’
  • Michael Keaton, Michael Keaton’s dark memories of ‘Batman’ and shining love for ‘Beetlejuice’, HeroComplex.latimes, 12 May 2011

• I'll always stand by the first Batman. Even for its imperfections, people will never know how hard that movie was to do. A lot of that still holds up.
  • Michael Keaton, Endorses Chris Nolan's Batman Flick, Looks Foward To 'Dark Knight', MTV, 1 January 2008

• I really wanted desperately to obviously do Two-Face…I wanted to see what I could do with it. It would have been different from Tommy Lee’s. I’ve got my own kind of madness.
  • Billy Dee Williams, Why Tim Burton's Batman 3 Never Happened, Den of Geek, 16 June 2016

Cast

• Michael Keaton - Batman/Bruce Wayne
• Jack Nicholson - The Joker/Jack Napier
• Kim Basinger - Vicki Vale
• Robert Wuhl - Alexander Knox
• Pat Hingle - Commissioner James Gordon
• Billy Dee Williams - Harvey Dent
• Michael Gough - Alfred Pennyworth
• Jack Palance - Carl Grissom
• Jerry Hall - Alicia Hunt
• Tracey Walter - Bob the Goon
• Lee Wallace - The Mayor
• William Hootkins - Lt. Max Eckhardt
• Edwin Craig - Antoine Rotelli

External links

• Encyclopedic article on Batman (1989 film) at Wikipedia
• Batman (1989) quotes at the Internet Movie Database