Arthur's Family Vacation

D.W.: [sings] Guess what, Arthur? You can't go to camp! You can't go to camp! We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation. We're going on vacation.

Arthur's Pet Business

[Arthur cuts a paper of dogs in half with scissors as his sister walks into his room]

D.W.: [sings] Arthur wants a dog. Arthur wants a dog.

Arthur: Don't say anything, D.W.! I'm waiting for just the right moment to ask Mom and Dad.

D.W.: You can trust me, Arthur.

Arthur's Chicken Pox

[during Arthur's circus dream]

D.W.: Hurry up! I'm next.

Arthur: [about to perform a unicycle tightrope act] I don't feel so well.

D.W.: Go on, faker.

D.W.: Why do I have to eat at the table?

Mrs. Read: Because you're not sick.

[Mr. Read places spinach on his daughter's plate]

D.W.: Yuck! Spinach?! [looks over at Arthur] How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?

Mr. and Mrs. Read: Because he's sick.

D.W.: He's not! He's faking.

[she sticks her tongue out at Arthur, who blows a raspberry at her; D.W. laughs awkwardly]

Buster Makes the Grade

[Buster walks into Mr. Haney's office]

Mr. Haney: Come in.

Buster: Mom, Grandma, what are you guys doing here?

[Buster's mother Bitzi and his grandmother are in Mr. Haney's office about Buster's poor grades]

Bitzi: It's nothing to worry about, dear. [sobs]

[Buster's grandmother comforts her]

Mr. Haney: [takes out a lollipop and tissue] Really, Mrs. Baxter. It's not as bad as always is serious, very serious, but nothing a little elbow grease-- A lot of elbow grease-- Can't fix. Hopefully. Sit down, Buster.

[Mr. Ratburn sets a chair in the middle of the office for Buster]

Bitzi: Buster, wake up! Your English tutor is here.

[Buster wakes up and finds Arthur at the door]

Buster: Oh. [chuckles] It's just you, Arthur.

Bitzi: Well, I'll leave you two to your work.

[she leaves the room]

Buster: Hey, Arthur, good plan. You fooled her completely. If we hurry, we can get to the park before the game starts.

Arthur: We're not going to the park today, Buster.

Buster: What?

Arthur: Get your books. We're gonna study!

Buster: STUDY?!!

Locked in the Library [1.06]

Francine: ARTHUR READ! Did you tell everyone I looked like a marshmallow?!

Arthur: Uh....uh....

Buster: [to Arthur] Yeah, don't you remember? When she was wearing that goofy sweater. [to Francine] So, what do you want to do about it?

Francine: You better apologize or...

Buster: [to Francine] Or what?

Francine: [points at Arthur] Or you're gonna get it!

[after Arthur and Francine get locked in the library, they bump into each others' backs.]

Arthur and Francine: [both scream] [to each other] YOU!!

Francine: Arthur, why didn't you tell me what time it was? You got us locked in.

Arthur: [pointing to himself] Me? [pointing to Francine] Why didn't you say what time it was?

Francine: [pointing to Arthur] I'm NOT your mother, Arthur Read! I mean, how dumb does a person have to be to get locked in a library? [holds up her arms in a "V" shaped position with her hands open and pauses a few seconds] Anyway, [puts her arms down] I have no time for childish bickering. I have to get out of here. [walks off]

Arthur: Fine. [walks after Francine]

Francine: Fine. And by the way, I'm still not talking to you, and I'm not listening, either. [covers her ears with her hands and bends her elbows and walks forward until she bumps her elbow onto a bookshelf] Ow!

[Arthur and Francine gets stacks of books off of the bookshelves and create passageways to escape from the library. Arthur builds a tower full of books while Francine builds a staircase of books.]

Francine: Oh! [walks to the tower of books and grabs a book from the tower right before Arthur is about to unlock the window]

Arthur: HEY! [the tower collapses and becomes a mess full of books, causing Arthur to fall] [sarcastically] Thanks, I was almost there.

Francine: [completes the staircase of books with the book she last grabbed, walks up the staircase, and unlocks the window, but a fly comes by, and takes three attempts to shoo the fly away, but screams and starts falling off the stairs of books] Ow!

[Arthur starts running up the staircase of books, and Francine goes after him also. Arthur starts pulling on the window handles, but nothing works out. Francine then helps him out, puts her foot against the window, then the handles break off, and she and Arthur fall and the staircase of books collapses]

Arthur: I just remembered something...

Francine: What?

Arthur: Today is Saturday, which means the library is closed until...

[Francine gasps in horror]

Arthur and Francine: MONDAY!! [their voices start echoing around the library]

[after Muffy has hung up on Francine]

Arthur: What did you do?! How could you let her hang up?!

Francine: Keep your shirt on! I'm calling my mom.

[Francine dials the number of her apartment]

Telephone's recording message: To dial out, you must enter the correct user code. Please hang up and try again. To dial out...

[Francine gives an annoyed look to the camera]

Arthur: Okay. We're doomed!

Francine: You're such a wimp.

Arthur: Then you're a bossy know-it-all, [low tone] marshmallow.

Francine: That does it, Arthur Read! If I have to spend the weekend here, I'm not spending it with you!

Arthur: Fine with me! See if I care!

Sick as a Dog

[Pal has got D.W.'s hot dog and as he runs around the kitchen, he pulls D.W. with him]

D.W. Read: Give it back! I don't eat your dog food, do I?!

[In Pal's dream, Pal is locked up in a cage and three dogs are growling at him; one of the dogs tries to open the lock on the cage]

D.W. Read: No, wait! I can do it!

[She unlocks it with a key, opens the cage, and laughs evilly as she's about to take Pal out so the dogs can eat him; Pal whimpers; suddenly, the nightmare ends and the phone rings]

D.W.: [After Pal managed to get D.W.'s wiener and ate it] Someday, I'm gonna teach that dog a lesson he won't forget!

Francine Frensky, Superstar [1.10]

[At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]

Catherine: Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.

Francine: I'm sorry, Catherine. But if I am to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.

[Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine still ignores the habit]

Catherine: Why don't you study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented those.

Francine: Good idea, I will. As soon as I'm done here.

[Francine flickers with the light switches once again]

Catherine: [yelling loudly] MOTHER!!

Arthur the Wrecker [1.14]

D.W.: MOOOOOOM! [sing-song voice] ARTHUR BROKE A WINDOW!

[Arthur and Buster are in the computer den]

Buster: Couldn't you just show it to me for one second?

Arthur: I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing Deep Dark Sea]

D. W: Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you not to play on her computer.

Arthur: We're NOT playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go away!

D. W: If I go away, I'll probably tell Daddy. Besides, I want to watch.

Arthur: Okay, you can watch, but be quiet.

Buster: Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.

D. W: What's that?

Arthur: I don't know.

Buster: Go to it. Maybe it's the thing.

D. W: A treasure chest!

Buster: I think that's it. That's...

Arthur and Buster: The thing!

Arthur: I think I won. We've got to open it!

[Arthur and Buster both grab at the mouse, then Buster accidentally knocks the keyboard off the desk along with the mouse which both crash to the floor, Arthur, Buster and D.W gasp in horror and the computer starts buzzing as the CRT monitor starts to flicker in waves, the screen goes nearly black with a dot in the middle, the screen appears again, and then wipes away completely]

Buster: You wrecked it!

Arthur: No, I didn't. You knocked the keyboard off the desk.

Buster: Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again.

[Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]

D. W: You killed it! Now Mommy will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!

Arthur: D. W., be quiet! I'm thinking.

D. W: And it's all your fault! So you better fix it, because I like living here.

[Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]

Arthur: DON'T do that! You'll make it worse.

Buster: Maybe you better call your mom.

Arthur: I can't. She said not to play with it. But now I wrecked it! I've got it. Maybe we could fix it before she gets home.

D. W: Maybe a rich family would have adopt me. I'm cute.

Buster: Who'd know how to fix a computer?

Arthur and Buster: [enthusiastically] The Brain!

Stolen Bike [1.29]

Laverne: I'm sorry, honey. But we can't afford to get you a new bike. Maybe next year.

Francine: It's not fair! I'll die without a bike. [puts her head down on the table]

Oliver: No! Not that! Anything but that! You mustn't give up, honey! Be brave! Live, I say! LIVE!

Catherine: [walks out of the room] Oh, Dad. Grow up!

Oliver: [calmly] Catherine's right. And besides, I have an idea.

D.W., the Picky Eater

D.W.:: [removes parts of her salad] Cucumbers: yucky. Mushrooms: yucky. Onions: yucky and smelly. [finds out that there are also spinach leaves in it] Hey, this isn't lettuce. What kind of a salad is this?

Arthur: Uh-oh! She's gonna pop!

D.W.: This is spinach.

Waiter: Is something the matter?

D.W.: This is spinach, and I HATE SPINACH!

[D.W.'s plate goes flying across the room into the waiter's face, and everyone stares]

D.W.: Uh-oh!

Waiter: That's it! I quit!

Mrs. Read: Dora Winifred Read!

Play It Again, D.W.

Arthur: D.W. I'm trying to do my homework! And there's no such word as busalooey! If you don't stop, I'm gonna wreck that C.D.!!

D.W.:: MOM!

[cut to the living room; Mr. and Mrs. Read search for a C.D.]

Mr. Read: I wouldn't have promised to bring the music to the party if I known I lost it.

Mrs. Read: [finds the C.D.] Found it!

Mr. Read: Great!

D.W.:: [enters] Mom, Arthur's gonna wreck my Crazy Bus!

Mrs. Read: Turn it off! I can't hear you!

[D.W. shuts off the radio]

Mr. Read: Arthur?

D.W.: Mom and Dad say if you touch it, then they'll adopt you to another country without TV.

Mrs. Read: D.W., wash up for dinner.

D.W.: What were they thinking when they invented brothers? What a dopey idea!

Go to Your Room D.W.

D.W.: This is mine! You can only touch it when I say so.

Mrs. Read: [sternly] D.W.?

D.W.: Give that back or I'll PINCH you!

[Mrs. Read grabs her]

Mrs. Read: Dora Winifred Read, go to your room.

D.W.: But what did I do?

Mr. Read: [after D.W.'s eerie fantasy] What are you doing?

D.W.: The clock broke and time stopped and I was coming to warn you--

Mr. Read: Nice try, D.W. Back to your room, now.

D.W.: [goes back upstairs to her room] Sheesh! You don't have to treat me like a criminal.

D.W.'s Very Bad Mood

Mrs. Read: D.W., one at a time!

D.W.: You're always picking on me. You never pick on anyone else. Only me, me, ME!

Mrs. Read: You know that's not true, D.W. Everybody has to eat politely and that includes you.

D.W.: That does NOT include me! You never include me. You always make me stay home whenever there's anything fun. Only Arthur gets to have fun! Only Arthur...

Francine: D.W., can I ask you a question?

D.W.: Maybe.

Francine: What's the matter with you?

[D.W. gasps and runs off crying]

Arthur and D.W. Clean Up

[The door creaks open; Arthur's room is a mess]

Arthur Read: Let's do this quick. I'm going to be late.

D.W. Read: [Makes a sick face] Ewww!

[D.W. finds a piece of paper in one of Arthur's books]

D.W. Read: Ooh! Look what I found!

Arthur Read: Stop looking like that! You can't read!

D.W. Read: I don't have to read to know what this is.

Arthur Read: It's a note from Francine.

D.W. Read: I knew it! [Sing-song voice] Arthur has a girlfriend! Arthur has a girlfriend!

Arthur's Big Hit [4.01]

D.W.: If it could break the sound barrier, falling out of a window shouldn't be able to break it.

Arthur: I told you not to touch it.

D.W.: You built it all wrong! Did you even read the directions?

[Arthur furiously gets on his feet and grits his teeth; D.W. is too busy talking to be frightened]

D.W.: It didn't fly for one second! It's not my fault if you made a plane that can't fly.

Arthur: [lividly] I told you... NOT TO TOUCH IT!!!!!

[he punches D.W., who hits the ground; D.W. wails in agony as she heads back inside]

Mrs. Read: Arthur Timothy Read? Come here!

Arthur: [shocked] Uh-oh. Middle name!

Arthur: [as his injury is treated after getting punched by Binky] And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. It hurt and it was embarrassing.

Mr. Read: Well, maybe that's how D.W. felt when you punched her.

Arthur: Maybe. But what's that got to do with this? Binky Barnes is HUGE! [realizes] Yeah, I guess I get it.

The Blizzard [4.05]

D.W.: Mommy! Daddy! The town is exploding and it's very pretty!

Mr. Ratburn:: (enters the classroom) Sorry, I'm late. Let's jump right into work.

(Just then, the lights in the classroom go out)

Mr. Haney: Bad news! The storm is getting worse, the buildings lost electricity, so the school is closed.

(Mr. Ratburn gasps while the class cheer)

Oliver Frensky: I tried all night, but the plower's stuck. None of the roads can get plowed now.

Francine: Daddy, look! It's too cold to write. I have to stop doing my report.

That's A Baby Show [4.10]

Arthur: Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!

D.W.: Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!

The World Record [5.04]

The Last of Mary Moo Cow [5.08]

Mary Moo Cow: [singing] Oh, D.W., oh, D.W., I love you.

D.W.: Really, Moo?

Mary Moo Cow: There is no one smarter.

D.W.: Yeah, tell that to Arthur!

Mary Moo Cow: Arthur? Bleh!

April 9th

Binky: [reading] What I did was dumb and dangerous. It was also mean to all the Mighty Mountain kids who had been really nice to me. I'm very sorry and I'll never pull the fire alarm when there isn't a fire again, the end.

Mr. Haney: I'm glad you understand the seriousness of this offense, Binky. But I have to admit, I'm still baffled. Why did you do it?

Binky: I dunno...

Mr. Haney: Maybe you should talk to the school counselor about this.

Binky: But I said I was sorry! Can't you just punish me now?

Mr. Haney: Normally, you'd be suspended for something like this. But because of the circumstances, I have something else in mind.

Kiss and Tell [8.09]

D.W.: Arthur, I need your help! What can you tell me about kissing?

Arthur: What? Nothing!

D.W.: C'mon, you must know something about the birds in the trees. Like, how can I get a boy to kiss me?

Arthur: I don't know! Ask mom. I'm doing homework.

D.W.: Ohh! You're no help. (finds a book on the ground of two people kissing) Aha! You do to know something about kissing. You have a book all about it.

Arthur: This is the story of Romeo and Juliet, D. W. I'ts based on a play by William Shakespeare. We're reading it in school.

D.W.: And? what's it about?

Arthur: (sighs) If I tell you, do you promise to leave me alone? (D. W. nodds) Okay. (starts talking fast) There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet 'n their parents don't like eachother, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together but thier's a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.

D.W.: Where's the kissing part?

(explaining Romeo and Juliet to D. W.)

Arthur: There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet 'n their parents don't like each other, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together but there is a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.

Bleep! [8.10]

[At the glass shop, D.W. sees a woman and her teenage son debating]

Mother: Stop that! You'll break something.

Boy: [huffs] Whatever.

Mother: That's enough back talk, young man. You can forget about going to that concert tonight.

Boy: What?! You can't do that!

Mother: I can, and I have!

[the boy starts swearing back at his mother by saying a curse word; a bleep is heard when he does it; his mother gasps heavily and drops the glass; it breaks]

Mrs. Read: [after D.W. accidentally says the swear word to her] Dora Winifred Read, what did you just say to me?

D.W.: [nervously] Uh... Can I have a soda?

[Mrs. Read says nothing]

D.W.: [angrily] Tibbles!

Francine's Pilfered Paper [11.08]

Catherine: [offscreen, calls Francine] Hey squirt, come here!

[Francine stands up off of the sofa and walks to her and Catherine's room]

Catherine: I was online and found some stuff you might want to use for your paper.

Francine: Oh thanks, but I finished it already. [looks at the printed article in surprise] Hey, this is my paper!

Catherine: You mean, you already used some of this information?

Francine: I used the whole thing. It was perfect for the topic. So I cut and pasted it into a new document and added a title.

Catherine: [disappointed] Francine, you CAN'T do that!

Francine: Why not?

Catherine: Because that's PLAGIARISM, that's why.

Francine: No, it isn't. It's called finishing your work early, so you can enjoy Thanksgiving. [worried] What's "plagiarism"?

Catherine: [picks up the printed article] It's when you take someone else's work and claim it's your own. It's basically STEALING.

Francine: But I already handed it in. So, you think I can get an "F"?

Catherine: Worse! You could be SUSPENDED.

Francine: Huh?

Oliver: [offscreen, from the kitchen] Kids! Dinner's ready!

Catherine: [whispers] You have to tell Ratburn!