Angry Grandpa (2015)

Angry Grandpa was an internet personality portrayed by Charles Green Jr. (October 16 1950 - December 10 2017) From 2007-2017, he made hundreds of videos across YouTube. In most of these videos, Green would explode into a violent rage over little things such as when he can't find his favorite foods or if someone has been eating his food. Other videos included him cooking and speaking out over world issues. Filming most of these videos was Green's son Michael who would sometimes play pranks on Green. (aka Pickleboy or KidBehindACamera). Michael's girlfriend Bridgette would also be present for most of these videos.

Say Cheese

[Grandpa is throwing things out of the refrigerator looking for pimento cheese]

Angry Grandpa: God damn!

Michael: What are you doing?

Angry Grandpa: I'm looking for my goddamn pimento cheese!

Michael: It's right there!

Angry Grandpa: Where?!

Michael: Move the cheese!

Angry Grandpa: Who the fuck eating my damn...?

Michael: I made a sandwich with it!

Angry Grandpa: You won't be eating my goddamn shit!

Michael: Well, you threw the food all over the floor for it!

Angry Grandpa: Look at my goddamn pimento cheese!

Michael: Ah, the mayonaise is open!

Angry Grandpa: WHO THE FUCK...?!! (throws the cheese on the floor)

Michael: I made a sandwich with... I made a sandwich with it!

Angry Grandpa: Man, I was going to eat my steak with my pimento... (takes the steak out of the microwave and throws it on the floor) There's no goddamn steak with my goddamn pimento... Who the fuck's eating my shit up?!

Michael: It was just a little bit of food.

Angry Grandpa: I am so motherfucking tired of this!

Michael: (sees Tina wearing only a towel.) Oh, mom's like naked in there!

Angry Grandpa: I don't give a damn, she can stay naked! MOTHERFUCKER!! That was my sandwich, that was my supper! Y'all can eat your goddamn sandwich! Don't invite me. Now, look what you did to my damn pimento cheese! Look what you did!

Michael: I didn't do that first of all.

Tina: Goddamn, this is fucked up!

Angry Grandpa: Get out of here you goddamn naked bitch! I'm tired of you goddamnit!!

Tina: I have to clean after the animals at the fucking hotel, now I have to clean this up?!

Angry Grandpa: Yeah you do! Why did you eat my goddamn pimento cheese?!

Tina: I never liked that shit!

Angry Grandpa: You lying bitch! You ate my pimento cheese! That was mine!!

Michael: I ate the pimento cheese but...

Angry Grandpa: Then why did you throw it on the fucking floor?!

Michael: You've got problems, you threw it on the floor!

Angry Grandpa: You're a fucking liar!

The Fake Bomb Prank

Michael: [pretending to call a bomb diffusing company] Yes, sir! [to Grandpa] He says, look for a ground wire. He says that--

Angry Grandpa: [panicking] Oh, god, I got no idea what a goddamn ground wire is.

Michael: Okay, the-- it's black, white and looks like a green.

Angry Grandpa: WHAT IS IT?! WHAT WE GONNA DO?!

Michael: Okay, he says the green wire. Get something and cut the green wire.

[last lines in the video]

Angry Grandpa: THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU HAVE EVER, IN YOUR LIFE, EVER DONE TO ME!!! I DON'T LIKE IT!! That is the worst! Thing! You've! Ever! Done!

Michael: April fool's, you--

Angry Grandpa: Fuck your "April fool's", man! [Bridgette yells something; to Bridgette] SHUT UP!!

Michael: April fool's, you had Mom call me and say you were dead!

Angry Grandpa: Why don't you go home?!

PISSED About Twinkies!

Angry Grandpa: WHAT AM I GONNA DO ON GODDAMN WEEKENDS?! I LIKE TO FRY THEM MOTHERFUCKERS!!

Michael: They got Walmart-brand Twinkies.

Angry Grandpa: FUCK WALMART BRAND GODDAMN TWINKIES!!!!

Angry Grandpa: I'VE BEEN EATING TWINKIES SINCE I WAS KNEE HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER'S MOTHERFUCKING ASS!! I WAS THAT GODDAMN HIGH WHEN MY DADDY BRINGING ME MOTHERFUCKING TWINKIES!! I USED TO WATCH CAPTAIN KANGAROO EATING MY MOTHERFUCKING TWINKIE!!

Angry Grandpa: Twinkies is an American tradition. Back when they were pulling all my teeth, Twinkies was the only thing I could fucking eat! What other thing people losing their teeth could eat?

Michael: Walmart-brand Twinkies.

Angry Grandpa: Get the fuck away from me, white Walmart shit!

Michael: Dad, eat some "Twunkies."

Grandpa: [sarcastically] It's a "Blue Light" special at Walmart, ain't it? Get outta here.

Michael: [to Bridgette] Let's just get him some Great Value Twinkies. [Grandpa gets ready to punch him] WHOOOA! Now you're getting dangerous!

Pickleboy's Filthy Apartment

Angry Grandpa: GOOD GOD!! Can you believe what hap-? Oh man! Michael's Crib! Nastiest man... Wait, what are you in the bathroom? I'm over here, I'm filming your house! I'm filming your house because it's nasty!

Michael: Okay, dad? (closes the door)

Angry Grandpa: AH HA HA!! Instead of taking a bath, you should've cleaned your house first!

Draw My Life FAIL

Michael: Your story's not even coming together dude. Ok, it's like ok.

Angry Grandpa: YOU TOLD ME TO DRAW MY LIFE! THAT'S EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE! I'M DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO!

Michael: Ok, I'm just trying to say you're not getting the concept I don't think.

Angry Grandpa: And you're not getting what I'm telling you!

Michael: Yeah, I'm saying you gotta tell a story. So far we've got Baby with a bottle, Mama beating your ass, Going to school, Coming to work.

Angry Grandpa: Making it up.

Michael: We've got to know a story.

Angry Grandpa: YOU LEFT OUT SMOKING A JOINT!

Michael: Okay, Smoking a joint.

Angry Grandpa: I was a little boy. That's me as a little boy. Then I grew up to be a mean ass teenager who didn't like...people. I grew up. Then all of a sudden, I grew up and became a man! Had four fucking little brats!

Michael: And eight stomachs.

Angry Grandpa: One asshole named Mike! And I'll draw a picture of the little fat little bastard.! (Draws a picture of Michael with a fat stomach) That was Michael when he was a little boy! That was his little tiny arms! That was his goddamn little bellybutton. Okay, now IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! YOU WANNA.... NOOOOOOO, let's draw Bridgette!

Michael: Okay, I'm done with this.

Angry Grandpa: When Bridgette first came to the house! Here's Bridgette! (draws Bridgette with a fat stomach) WHOAAAAAAAAA!

Bridgette: Wait a minute!

Angry Grandpa: It's Bridgette! Little short little motherfucking arms, little tiny ass head, little beady fucking nose, beady eyes and a goddamn little face! Oh Bridgette, it's so nice to meet you! GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE!! GET OUT!! OH, GET OUT!! I'M TELLING YOU GET OUT!!

Michael: Okay!

Angry Grandpa: I AIN'T DRAWING NO MORE GODDAMN PICTURES!!

Michael: Try to do something nice for somebody...

Angry Grandpa: YOU DID! DON'T COME BACK!

Bridgette: That was rude!

ANGRY GRANDPA'S 65TH BIRTHDAY MELTDOWN!

[Michael and Grandpa are arguing about the food]

Angry Grandpa: It's MY damn birthday!

Michael: Okay, I'm not saying it's not!

Angry Grandpa: Well, you gotta do what I say to.

Michael: So, because it's your birthday, I've gotta eat seafood?

Angry Grandpa: That's right. [pounds his hammer on the table like a gavel]

Bridgette: What? What's going on?

Michael: There's nothing for me to eat.

Angry Grandpa: There's plenty to eat!

Bridgette: [to Grandpa] You didn't make any burgers?

Angry Grandpa: Doug, whose party is this?

Doug: It's yours.

Angry Grandpa: [turns back to Michael] See? It's my--

[Enraged, Michael flips the table over, destroying much of the food]

Bridgette: [shocked] Oh, my--! Oh, my...

Angry Grandpa: That's it! Get the hell outta here.

Michael: Take THAT! [throws the trashcan against the table]

Bridgette: Oh, my God.

Angry Grandpa: Get the hell outta my yard, now. Get the hell outta here!

Michael: I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!

Angry Grandpa: Get outta my yard!

Michael: YOU'RE NOT AS TOUGH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE!!