The Freshmen Up at Yale Get No Tail
"The Freshmen Up at Yale Get No Tail" is a humorous song historically sung by Yale University's Ivy League rivals. The song questions the sexual prowess of Yale students and suggests that they frequently self-gratify with masturbation. Like many songs of its genre, this piece features frequently variable lyrics.
Variations substitute 'fellas' for 'freshmen' and 'down at Yale' for 'up at Yale' when sung by rivals located to the north of Yale's New Haven, Connecticut, location, such as Yale's perennial main rival Harvard University. Although the song's origins are not entirely clear, the Columbia University Marching Band is sometimes given credit for composing it.
Lyrics
Oh the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
Oh the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
So to satisfy their yen,
they go out with Harvard men
Oh the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
Oh the Sophomores up at Yale get no tail
Oh the Sophomores up at Yale get no tail
So that half the freshmen class
has to take it up the ass
Oh the Sophomores up at Yale get no tail
Oh the Juniors up at Yale get no tail
Oh the Juniors up at Yale get no tail
So to release their frustrations
They resort to masturbation
Oh the Juniors up at Yale get no tail
Oh the Seniors up at Yale they get tail
Oh the Seniors up at Yale they get tail
But after three years with the guys
they can hardly get a rise
Oh the Seniors up at Yale they get tail
Oh the Bulldog up at Yale has no tail
Oh the Bulldog up at Yale has no tail
Well after running through those halls
He is lucky he has balls
Oh the Bulldog up at Yale has no tail