Take My Life...Please!
| "Take My Life...Please!" | |
|---|---|
| The Twilight Zone episode | |
| Episode no. |
Season 1 Episode 22a |
| Directed by | Gus Trikonis |
| Written by | Gordon Mitchell |
| Original air date | March 28, 1986 |
| Guest appearance(s) | |
|
Tim Thomerson: Billy Diamond | |
"Take My Life...Please!" is the first segment of the twenty-second episode of the first season (1985–86) of the American television series The Twilight Zone.
Plot
Billy Diamond (Tim Thomerson) is a successful stand-up comedian who steals a "Gorilla Banana" routine from fellow comedian Dave (Xander Berkeley), and performs it on a TV talk show to huge success which enhances his own career. Unfortunately, now that Billy has been seen doing the routine on TV, Dave can never perform it again, since people will think Dave stole it from Billy.
While driving away from the TV studio, Billy is ambushed by Dave who threatens him with a pistol. Dave attempts to get money from Billy to make up for stealing his act but is distracted when Billy drives his car erratically. The car crashes and both men are killed.
Billy finds himself in the afterlife which resembles the backstage area of an extremely sleazy nightclub. His agent Max explains that he must audition on stage and that his performance will determine whether he goes to heaven or hell. A stage manager pushes him onto a stage in front of a bored-looking audience. When Billy tells conventional jokes the audience grows hostile and they taunt him. In order to make the audience laugh, Billy humiliates himself by recounting all the most shameful and degrading incidents of his life, which produces laughter from the audience. As he escapes the stage at the end of the set, he is traumatized by what he has had to reveal and is told that his act is a massive hit. As such, he must spend an eternity exposing his shameful acts forever.
Closing narration
| “ | Let's hear it for him, ladies and gentlemen. A big hand for Billy Diamond, a mad-cap kind of guy who'll make you laugh until it hurts, late of Hollywood and Las Vegas, now leaving 'em rolling in the aisles...of the Twilight Zone. | ” |