Miss Susie

"Miss Susie had a steamboat", also known as "Hello Operator",[1] "Miss Suzy", and many other names,[8] is the name of an American schoolyard rhyme in which each verse leads up to a rude word or profanity which is revealed in the next verse as part of an innocuous word or phrase. Originally used as a jump-rope rhyme, it is now more often sung alone or as part of a clapping game.[9] Hand signs sometimes accompany the song, such as pulling on the bell in the first verse or making a phone gesture in the second.

This song is sometimes combined or confused with "Miss Lucy had a baby", which is sung to the same tune and also served as a jump-rope song. That song developed from verses of much older (and cruder) songs which were most commonly known as "Bang Bang Rosie" in Britain, "Bang Away Lulu" in Appalachia,[10] and "My Lula Gal" in the West.[11] The variants including a woman with an alligator purse urging the baby's mother to vote have been seen as a reference to Susan B. Anthony, an American suffragette,[12] and may be responsible for the steamboat owner's most common name today.

Structure

The rhyme is arranged in quatrains, with an A-B-C-B rhyme scheme. The rhyme is organized by its meter, a sprung rhythm in trimeter.[13] Accentual verse (including sprung rhythm) is a common form in English folk verse, including nursery rhymes and jump-rope rhymes. The rhyme approaches taboo words, only to cut them off and modify them with an enjambment. It shares much of the same melody as the 1937 "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" used by Warner Bros. as the theme to their Looney Tunes cartoons.[14]

History

The song has developed many variations over an extended period, as is common for such rhymes.[15] Even 21st-century versions, however, typically preserve long-outdated references to the dangerousness of 19th-century steamers and to the need for a switchboard operator to manually connect a telephone call.

The earliest recorded version—about a girl named Mary—appears among the vaudeville jokes collected by Ed Lowry during his career in the 1910s, '20s, and '30s,[2] although versions about Fulton (popularly credited with the invention of the steamboat[16]) and Lulu (the star of "Bang Bang Lulu") may record older traditions. The Lulu tradition—including "Miss Lucy had a baby"—already record enjambed double entendres during the World Wars, but the first version of this song known to have done so—versions about Fulton and a girl named Helen—date to the 1950s.[17]

Later versions developed by embellishment: adding, removing, and adjusting stanzas involving kissing, boys in bathrooms, a little black boy, bras, King Arthur, questions and lies,[18] German spies,[5] raving aunts,[5] &c. While the initial stanzas were fairly stable by the late 20th century, the folklorist Josepha Sherman noted that two unrelated children in 1990s New York took the change from "Miss Lucy" to "Ms. Lucy" for granted.[19] An adaptation—"Miss Lucy had some leeches"—has been recorded by Emilie Autumn[20] and another—"Mrs. Landers was a health nut"—featured in the South Park episode "Something You Can Do with Your Finger".[21][22]

Lyrics

Numerous versions exist, varying across time and regionally:[17]

Vaudeville

(early 1900s)[2][3]

Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Mary went to Heaven
And the steamboat went Toot Toot.

 Michigan

(1950s)[17]

Helen had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell.
Helen took some dynamite
and blew the bell to–

–Hello operator,
Give me number nine.
If it doesn’t answer,
give me back my dime.

 West Virginia

(1950s)[23][24]

Fulton had a steamboat
’Steamboat had a bell
Fulton pulled the wrong cord
Steamboat went to–

–Hello operator
Fulton’s on the line!
If nobody answers,
Give me back my dime!

 California

(1970s)[17]

Miss Susie had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell,
Miss Suzie went to Heaven,
the steamboat went to–

–Hello operator,
I'm caller number nine
and if you disconnect me
I’ll chop off your be–

’hind the ’'fridgerator,
There was a piece of glass
Miss Suzie sat upon it
And broke her little–

–ask, me no more questions,
tell me no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their–


–flies are in the meadows,
bees are in the park
Miss Suzy and her boyfriend are kissing in the
D-A-R-K,
D-A-R-K,
Dark, dark, dark,

Darker than the ocean,
darker than the sea
Darker than the underwear my mommy puts on me

My mommy is Godzilla
my daddy is King Kong,
my brother is the jerk that made me sing this song

Georgia

Miss Susie had a tugboat,
the tugboat had a bell,
Miss Susie went to Heaven,
the tugboat went to–

–Hello operator,
Give me number nine,
and if you disconnect me,
I'll kick you from be-

'hind the 'frigerator,
there was a piece of glass,
Miss Susie fell upon it,
and broke her little-

ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies,
the boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their-

flies are in the meadows,
bees are in the park,
Miss Susie and her boyfriend,
are kissing in the D-A-R-K

Dark is like a movie,
a movie's like a show,
A show is like a TV screen,
and this is all I know-

I know I know my ma,
I know I know my pa,
I know I know my sister [or brother]
wears a super wonder bra!

Virginia

(1970s)[17]

Miss Susie had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell.
Miss Susie went to Heaven
and the steamboat went to–

–Hello operator,
please give me number nine
and if you disconnect me
I’ll chop off your be–

’hind the ’frigerator,
there was a piece of glass,
Miss Susie sat upon it
and it went right up her

Ask me no more questions,
Tell me no more lies.
The boys are in the girls’ room,
pulling down their

Flies are in the kitchen,
bees are in the park.
14 boys and 14 girls
are kissing in the

D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
dark, dark, dark.

 Alabama

(1980s)[25]

Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to Heaven and
The steamboat went to–;

–Hello operator,
Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will kick you from

Behind the refrigerator,
There laid a piece of glass
Miss Lucy slipped and fell on it
And hurt her big fat

Ask me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies
This is what Miss Lucy said
Right before she died, died, died.

(alternate ending) Ask me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies
the cows are in the pasture
making chocolate pies
and lemonade!

 Pennsylvania

(1980s)[17]

Miss Susie had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell.
Miss Susie went to Heaven
and the steamboat went to–

–Hello operator,
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I’ll kick your be–

’hind the ’frigerator,
there was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
and broke her little

Ask-a me no questions,
I’ll tell-a you no lies,
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their

Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
are kissing in the

D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
Dark, dark, dark,

Darker than the ocean,
darker than the sea,
Darker than the black boy
who’s chasing after me!

 Vancouver

(1990s)[5]

Miss Mary had a steamboat,
the steamboat had a bell.
Miss Mary went to Heaven,
the steamboat went to–

–Hello operator,
please give me number nine
and if you disconnect me
I’ll kick you from

Behind the yellow curtain
there was a piece of glass.
Miss Mary sat upon it.
It went right up her

Ask me no more questions,
please tell me no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their

Flies are in the city,
the bees are in the park.
Boys and girls are kissing
in the D-A-R-K

Dark is like a movie,
a movie’s like a show.
A show is like a TV screen
and that is all

I know, I know my mother,
I know I know my pa,
I know I know my sister
with the alligator

Brother’s like a sister,
a sister’s like an aunt.
An aunt is like a relative
who likes to rave and rant.

 Arizona

(1980s)[25]

Miss Suzy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Suzy went to Heaven and
The steamboat went to–

–Hello operator,
Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I will kick you from

Behind the refrigerator,
There laid a piece of glass
Miss Suzy fell upon it
And broke her little

Ask me no more questions,
Tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their

Flies are in the meadow
The bees are in their hives

Wisconsin

(2000s)

Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
The steamboat went to Heaven
Miss Susie went to–

–Hello operator,
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll chop off your be

'hind the 'frigerator,
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And broke her big fat

Ask me no more questions,
Please tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their flies

Are in the city
Bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K dark dark

Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is on the TV screen
And that is all I know

I know my mother
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister
With the forty-acre bra

My mother is Godzilla
My father is King Kong
My sister is the dumb one
Who made up this dumb song

She dyed her hair in purple
She dyed her hair in pink
She dyed her hair with underwear
And washed it down the sink

 Michigan

(late 1970's/early 1980s)

Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
The steamboat went to Heaven
Miss Susie went to–

Hello operator,
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you right be

'hind the 'frigerator,
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie fell upon it
And broke her little

Ask me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies
Miss Susie told me this
The day before she

Dyed her hair in purple
She dyed her hair in pink
She dyed her hair in polka dots
AND WASHED IT DOWN THE SINK!

 Ohio

(1990s)

(v1)
Miss Susie had a steamboat,
her steamboat had a bell,
And when she went to Heaven,
her steamboat went to Hell–

(v2)
O operator,
Give me number nine
and if you disconnect me
I’ll kick you in the be–

(v3)
’hind the ’frigerator,
There is a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And cut her little

(v4)
Ask me no more questions,
tell me no more lies.
And if you tell another
I’ll get you from behind

(repeat v3 & v4)

 Massachusetts

(1990's)

Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to Heaven
The steamboat went to–

–Hello operator
Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
Ill chop off your be

'hind the fridgerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And broke her little

Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their flies

Are in the meadow
The bees are in their hives
Miss Susie and her boyfriend are kissing in the

D-A-R-K,
D-A-R-K,
Dark, dark, dark,

Is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is just like TV
And this is what I know

My mother is Godzilla
My father is King Kong
My brother is the stupid one
Who wrote this stupid song!

Missouri

(1990s)

Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to Heaven
The steamboat went to

–Hello operator
Give me number nine
If you disconnect me
I'll kick you from

Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And broke her big fat

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their

Flies are in the city
The bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the

D-A-R-K,
D-A-R-K,
Dark, dark, dark,

Darker than the ocean
Darker than the sea
Darker than the underwear
My mommy puts on me. WHOOPEE!

 Michigan

(1990s)

Miss Susie had a tugboat
The tugboat had a bell, ding ding
Miss Susie went to Heaven
The tugboat went to–

Hello operator,
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you right be

'hind the 'frigerator,
There lay a piece of glass
Miss Susie fell upon it
And broke her little

Ask me no more questions,
Please tell me no more lies
Miss Susie told me all of this
The day before she

Dyed her hair in purple
She dyed her hair in pink
She dyed her hair in underwear
But it wouldn't go down the

Sink me in the ocean
Sink me in the sea
Sink me in the toilet
But please don't pee on

Me I am so pretty Me I am so cute Me I am so beautiful it makes me wanna

Puke is in the bathroom Boys're zipping up their Flies are in the city
The bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the

D-A-R-K,
D-A-R-K,
Dark, dark, dark!

 Virginia

(2010s)

Miss Mary had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Mary went to Heaven
And the steamboat went to

Hello Operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me,
I'll kick you from 'be

'Hind the 'frigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Mary sat upon it
And it went right up her

Ask me no more questions
And I'll tell you no lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their

Flies are in the garden
Bees are in the park
Miss Mary and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the DARK!

 Illinois

(2017s)

Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Susie went to Heaven
The steamboat went to–

–Hello operator
Just give me number nine
Don't put me on hold
Or I'll kick you from be

'hind the 'frigerator
Susie broke some glass
Then she sat upon it
And broke her little

Ask me no more questions
I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their

Flies are in the meadows
The bees are in the trees
Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing the

D-A-R-K
D-A-R-K
Dark, dark, dark, dark!

Darker than the ocean
Darker than the sea
Darker than the underwear
My mommy put on me!

Now you know my mommy
Now you know my pa
Now you know my sister
With the forty-acre bra

My mommy is Godzilla
My daddy is King Kong
My sister is the stupid one
Who made me sing this song- DUH.

(The DUH is usually punctuated by a gentle nudge or hit towards the sibling and/or friend who made the other sing/started singing first)

 Springfield (The Simpsons)

Bart sold his soul, and that's just swell, Now he's going straight to– –Hello operator, give me number nine, And if you disconnect... ...Bart it's time to end this dream, And don't forget the standard scream.

Spoofs

  • The JibJab Year in Review 2008

See also

References

  1. ↑ Mayfield, Josh. " Hello Operator" at Inky's Linkies. 3 Apr 2004. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  2. 1 2 3 Levitt, Paul. Vaudeville Humor: The Collected Jokes, Routines, and Skits of Ed Lowry, p. 125. SIU Press (Carbondale), 2002. Accessed 12 Jan 2014.
  3. 1 2 "Tuyere Blasts". Iowa Transit. October 1924.
  4. ↑ Yannucci, Lisa. "When Lucy Had a Steam Boat" at Mama Lisa's World: Children's Songs and Rhymes from Around the World. 2014. Accessed 12 Jan 2014. Ms Yannucci credited her version as from Long Island in the 1970s.
  5. 1 2 3 4 Bohren, Django. "Lulu had a steamboat" at Milk Milk Lemonade. 27 Sept 2010. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  6. ↑ Crowley, John. Endless Things: A Part of Ægypt, pp. 428 ff. Small Beer Press (Northampton), 2007. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
  7. ↑ Schultz, Emily. Joyland, [books.google.com.hk/books?id=A_d0uAikdR4C&pg=PA82 p. 82]. ECW Press (Toronto), 2006. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
  8. ↑ Including Mary,[2] "Oh, it ain't—",[3] "When Lucy had a steamboat",[4] "Lulu had a steamboat",[5] Miss Sophie,[6] and Miss Molly.[7]
  9. ↑ Powell, Azizi. "Similarities & Differences between 'Bang Bang Lulu' & 'Miss Lucy Had a Steamboat'" at Pancocojams. 16 Oct 2013. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  10. ↑ Cray, Ed. The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs 2nd ed., p. 173 ff. UIP (Champaign), 1999. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  11. ↑ Logsdon, Guy. The Whorehouse Bells Are Ringing and Other Songs Cowboys Sing, pp. 154 ff. 1995 reprint of UIP (Champaign), 1989. Accessed 13 Jan 2014. (NB: Logsdon's versions are set to the separate tune of the bluegrass traditional "Roll in My Sweet Baby's Arms".)
  12. ↑ Hollihan, Kerrie. Rightfully Ours: How Women Won the Vote, p. 78. Chicago Review Press (Chicago), 2012. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  13. ↑ Henninger, Jessie. "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat: I. Structure" at The Raveled Sleeve. 29 Nov 2008. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  14. ↑ Smith, Ronald. Comedy on Record: the Complete Critical Discography, p. 634. Garland Publishing, 1988.
  15. ↑ Henninger, Jessie. "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat: II. Evolution" at The Raveled Sleeve. 29 Nov 2008. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  16. ↑ Swede, George. The Steam Tug, p. 17. Xlibris, 2010. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
  17. 1 2 3 4 5 6 Henninger, Jessie. "Miss Susie Had a Steamboat: V. Versions of the Rhyme Used in This Essay" at The Raveled Sleeve. 29 Nov 2008. Accessed 12 Jan 2014.
  18. ↑ The Mudcat Cafe. "Origins: Ask Me No Questions rhymes" often where the lyrics cut to the same word, only in a different context. Apr 2006. Accessed 13 Jan 2014.
  19. ↑ Sherman, Josepha. "Gopher Guts and Army Trucks: The Modern Evolution of Children's Folk Rhymes" in Children's Folklore Review, Vol. 21, No. 2 (Spring 1999). Accessed 12 Jan 2014.
  20. ↑ Emilie Autumn. "Miss Lucy had some leeches" hosted at MetroLyrics. 2007.
  21. ↑ South Park. "Something You Can Do with Your Finger" at South Park Studios. 2010. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
  22. ↑ South Park. "Something You Can Do with Your Finger" at Wikiquote. 2010. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
  23. ↑ Hill, Sherry. "Some Funny Poems I Remember" in From the Hill. 19 April 2011. Accessed 12 Jan 2014.
  24. ↑ A similar version—but with the steamboat going to Heaven and Fulton going "to hellllll-o..." (where the lyrics cut to the same word, only in a different context) —is recorded in Payne, Johnny. Kentuckiana, p. 91. Northwestern University Press (Evanston), 1997.
  25. 1 2 Straight Dope. "Lulu had a steamboat". 25 Mar 2009. Accessed 14 Jan 2014.
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